让我感到不适的约会恐怖故事
字幕摘录
| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| 0:00 | Welcome back to a new video guys today. | 欢迎回到新的视频家伙今天。 |
| 0:02 | We have dating horror stories | 我们有约会恐怖故事 |
| 0:05 | This is a topic that genuinely genuinely interests me because it includes nice guys nice girls crazy people normal people | 这是一个真正让我感兴趣的话题 因为它包括好男人 善良的女孩 疯狂的人正常的人 |
| 0:13 | Really interesting just learning from other people's experience and just listening to other people's experiences | 学习别人的经验 倾听别人的经验 |
| 0:18 | So what are your dating horror stories? | 那你的约会恐怖故事是什么? |
| 0:22 | Serious. | 说真的 |
| 0:23 | Okay. | 摆 |
| 0:23 | Let's read the first one. | 念第一义. |
| 0:24 | This is from eight years ago. | 这是八年前的事了 |
| 0:26 | I dated this girl in high school | 我高中时和这个女孩约会过 |
展开字幕全文（554 条）
| 序号 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Welcome back to a new video guys today. | 欢迎回到新的视频家伙今天。 |
| 2 | We have dating horror stories | 我们有约会恐怖故事 |
| 3 | This is a topic that genuinely genuinely interests me because it includes nice guys nice girls crazy people normal people | 这是一个真正让我感兴趣的话题 因为它包括好男人 善良的女孩 疯狂的人正常的人 |
| 4 | Really interesting just learning from other people's experience and just listening to other people's experiences | 学习别人的经验 倾听别人的经验 |
| 5 | So what are your dating horror stories? | 那你的约会恐怖故事是什么? |
| 6 | Serious. | 说真的 |
| 7 | Okay. | 摆 |
| 8 | Let's read the first one. | 念第一义. |
| 9 | This is from eight years ago. | 这是八年前的事了 |
| 10 | I dated this girl in high school | 我高中时和这个女孩约会过 |
| 11 | We were dating about three months when I went super overexcited because I got accepted into the college | 我们约会了大约三个月 我超兴奋了 因为我被录取了大学 |
| 12 | I wanted to attend since I was seven a couple weeks later | 几周后我七岁就想参加 |
| 13 | She called me saying we needed to talk when I go over I found out she's been rejected from every college | 她打电话给我说,我们需要谈谈 当我过去的时候,我发现她已经被每个大学拒绝 |
| 14 | She applied to save the community college nearby still no clue why she was taking two language classes and had three AP classes | 她申请拯救附近的社区大学 仍然不知道为什么她要上两门语言课 并且有三门AP课 |
| 15 | Anyways, she said instead of going to a stupid community college | 总之,她说 而不是去一个愚蠢的社区大学 |
| 16 | She and I were going to move to Florida | 她和我要搬到佛罗里达 |
| 17 | We lived in New England to live with her grandmother and we can try to apply for colleges down there | 我们住在新英格兰 和她奶奶住在一起 我们可以申请大学 |
| 18 | I said I wasn't going to Florida after only dating a few months and she said I had to choose her or my dream college | 我说我只约会了几个月就不去佛罗里达 她说我必须选她或我的梦幻大学 |
| 19 | I chose college | 我选择了大学 |
| 20 | Okay, obviously they're like 18 years old since they're applying for college and stuff I think one he didn't like her that much definitely wasn't | 好吧,很明显,他们就像18岁 他们申请了大学 和一些东西 我认为他不喜欢她 肯定不是 |
| 21 | Love it was just like and I mean, they've only been together for a few months | 喜欢它只是喜欢,我的意思是, 他们只在一起 几个月 |
| 22 | So so I guess I don't really blame him like a lot of people take months and months | 所以,我猜我不真的责怪他 像很多人 花了好几个月 |
| 23 | If not years even get to the point of loving someone especially in America, but I feel like since he didn't like her that much | 如果不是几年甚至到了 爱某人的地步, 特别是在美国, 但我感觉像,因为他不喜欢她 |
| 24 | He was easily able to choose college over her | 他很容易选择大学而不是她 |
| 25 | But it's a different situation if you love someone because then it's like it's hard | 但是如果你爱一个人 情况就不一样了 因为那就像很难 |
| 26 | You know | 你知道吗 |
| 27 | like who do you choose the person you love you want to spend your life with or like your future because you both of them are | 就像你选择你所爱的人一样... ...你想与你共度一生... ...或者喜欢你的未来... |
| 28 | Technically like your future but one is like an education where you wanted to go since you were seven | 从技术上来说,就像你的未来,但一个就像一个教育 你从七岁起就想去的地方 |
| 29 | The other one is going to Florida and like looking for school there further your education there | 另一个要去佛罗里达 喜欢在那里寻找学校 在那里进一步你的教育 |
| 30 | So I guess the out the difficult choice | 所以,我想出 困难的选择 |
| 31 | I think for himself | 我为自己着想 |
| 32 | He made the right choice and probably for most people that would have been the right choice because also your partner shouldn't make you really | 他做了正确的选择,也许对大多数人来说都是正确的选择,因为你的搭档也不应该让你真正 |
| 33 | Choose something like that like giving an ultimatum like that. | 选择这样的东西,像发出这样的最后通牒。 |
| 34 | Oh this or this it's kind of like it's kind of like a last resort | 哦,这个或这个... ...它有点像... ... |
| 35 | Someone else commented same thing happened with my ex under different circumstances and we dated much longer not going into detail | 有人评论说,我前夫在不同的场合 也发生了同样的事情 我们约会的时间更长了 不再细说 |
| 36 | But let's say he gave me an unfair ultimatum which consisted of choosing between living with him in another state or breaking up | 但假设他给了我一个不公平的最后通牒 包括选择和他住在一起 还是分手 |
| 37 | Some people just don't realize what they're asking of their significant other and it hurts even more when it's self-centered | 有些人只是不知道自己在问什么 其他重要的东西 当它以自我为中心时会更痛 |
| 38 | When they ask you to throw everything you've worked for away and leave loved ones behind at the expense of the relationship on their terms | 当他们要求你放弃所有你为之工作的东西 抛弃爱人 牺牲他们的关系 |
| 39 | What does that tell you? | 这告诉你什么? |
| 40 | Well, it tells you that they value themselves and their selfish more than thinking about also what's best for you | 它告诉你,他们珍惜自己和自私 比考虑什么对你最好 |
| 41 | They just give you an ultimatum instead of saying I want to be with you like I love you all this stuff | 他们只是给你最后通牒 而不是说我想和你在一起 就像我爱你一样 |
| 42 | I'm gonna be moving to this state | 我要搬到这个州去 |
| 43 | So let's work on long distance and then let's try to bridge the gap hopefully soon in a couple months | 所以,让我们做长距离的工作,然后我们尝试 弥补差距 希望短短几个月 |
| 44 | Well, I still want to be with you. | 好吧,我还是想和你在一起。 |
| 45 | We're we're not like in a different country | 我们不一样 |
| 46 | You could still travel to see each other every weekend instead of giving no you have to move with me | 你们还是可以每周旅行一次 而不是不跟我走 |
| 47 | Oh, we're done family was furious and edged me to break up with him edge | 哦,我们结束了家人的愤怒 让我和他分手 |
| 48 | Hey, yo egg me to break up egged him on and rightfully so I'm thankful because I would have went with him in a heartbeat | 嘿,你蛋,我打碎他蛋 正确,所以我很感激 因为我会和他一起在心跳中 |
| 49 | And I'm young and have so much to experience and build on before making such a commitment | 我年轻,在做出这样的承诺之前 有很多经历和基础 |
| 50 | We dated for eight months next story girl came up to me from behind while I was wearing a jacket and told me | 我们约会了8个月 下一个故事女孩从后面来找我 当我穿着外套,告诉我 |
| 51 | She liked my shirt seemed nice enough just nervous and honestly | 她喜欢我的衬衫 看起来足够漂亮 只是紧张和诚实 |
| 52 | She was good looking so I brushed it off at the end of the day | 她长得很帅,所以我最后把它刷掉 |
| 53 | We exchanged numbers and got to talking later 30 minutes later. | 我们交换了号码 30分钟后再聊 |
| 54 | We're texting and she asked me to be her boyfriend | 我们在发短信 她叫我做她的男朋友 |
| 55 | I don't know why this reminds me. | 我不知道为什么这提醒了我。 |
| 56 | I was an exchange student in korea for like a year back in like | 我在韩国当了一年的交换生 |
| 57 | 2022 like end of coven bro, fuck coven the way people date in korea was so like so crazy and so I guess fascinating | 2022年就像Conven兄弟的末日一样 去他妈的去和韩国人约会一样 |
| 58 | But also like like it's a thing in korea that you have to be official pretty much | 但就像在韩国你必须做官一样 |
| 59 | It's like an unwritten rule after three dates | 这就像三个约会之后的不成文规则 |
| 60 | So if you go three dates in a row then after the third day | 所以,如果你连续三次约会... ...那么在第三天之后 |
| 61 | Technically third date official and if not, then you just kind of drift apart you go find someone else | 严格来说是第三次约会,如果不是,那么你就会分道扬镳 去找别人 |
| 62 | So if you're not dating after three dates move on | 所以,如果你没有约会 3次约会后继续前进 |
| 63 | Uh | 对 |
| 64 | Really is crazy because you could go on those three dates literally in three days or like in a week or like in two weeks | 真的疯了,因为你可以去 那三个约会 字面上三天或喜欢 在一个星期或喜欢 在两个星期 |
| 65 | And it's like if you're in north america, like you kind of like date someone for like a while | 就像你在美国北部一样 喜欢和某人约会一段时间 |
| 66 | You kind of get to know them you build up you build up and then when you realize you know | 你开始了解他们 你积累起来 当你意识到 |
| 67 | What I actually like this person they like me let's start dating so it could take weeks or months | 我真正喜欢的人 他们喜欢我 让我们开始约会 这样可以花上几周或几个月 |
| 68 | You get to know the person before you date in korea in my experience you date to get to know the person | 根据我的经验,你认识在韩国约会之前的那个人 你认识的人 |
| 69 | So you don't actually know them but you date find out who it is | 所以,你并不真正了解他们 但你约会找出是谁 |
| 70 | But then I feel like that's bad because if you find out who they really are and then you don't like it | 但我觉得这很糟糕 因为如果你发现他们的真实身份 然后你不喜欢 |
| 71 | Then it's like you have to break up. | 然则如来得解脱. |
| 72 | I don't know. | 师曰. |
| 73 | Maybe it's easier for them to break up, but yeah, not not me | 也许他们分手比较容易,但不是我 |
| 74 | I'm like sure totally bro. | 我绝对是兄弟 |
| 75 | How old was this guy? | 这家伙多大了? |
| 76 | Oh my god, dude. | 哦,我的上帝,伙计。 |
| 77 | Sure totally | 当然 |
| 78 | The man in this guy's like over 18. | 这家伙的男子 像超过18。 |
| 79 | That'd be funny, but then it caught real bad | 这会很有趣,但后来它 陷入非常糟糕 |
| 80 | She starts sending me videos of her singing. | 她开始给我发她唱歌的视频 |
| 81 | I mean, that's cute. | 我的意思是,这很可爱。 |
| 82 | She was not a good singer. | 她不是一个好歌手。 |
| 83 | I mean, it's all right like | 我是说,这就像 |
| 84 | Okay | 还好 |
| 85 | Still cute. | 还是很可爱 |
| 86 | It's your girlfriend. | 这是你的女朋友。 |
| 87 | You have to be nice | 你要乖一点 |
| 88 | After each video she asks me do you think i'm cute? | 每次录影后 她问我 你觉得我可爱吗? |
| 89 | Do you like it etc? | 你喜欢吗? |
| 90 | I sort of awkwardly just passively nodded along and hoped to chalk it up to nerves | 我有点尴尬 只是被动地点头 并希望粉笔 神经。 |
| 91 | Then with the video she started to ask me do you love me multiple times? | 然后她开始问我 你有多多次爱我? |
| 92 | It was getting bad. | 越来越糟了 |
| 93 | So I decided to jump ship and break off the relationship | 所以我决定跳船分手 |
| 94 | I had only just started less than an hour ago. | 我一小时前才开始 |
| 95 | Oh what wait, this is all happening in an hour | 哦,等等,这都是在一个小时之内发生的 |
| 96 | Wait, what hold up? | 等等,什么坚持? |
| 97 | Wait a minute | 单 |
| 98 | Something right bro. | 好东西,兄弟。 |
| 99 | This is so weird. | 这太奇怪了 |
| 100 | You met her 30 minutes later. | 你30分钟后见过她 |
| 101 | You're chatting | 你在聊天吗? |
| 102 | She asks you to be her boyfriend. | 她让你做她的男朋友 |
| 103 | You say yeah, what could go wrong? | 你说对了,会出什么事? |
| 104 | And then within that hour she's sending you multiple videos of her singing asking you do you think i'm cute? | 然后在那个小时之内 她会给你寄来她唱歌的多段视频 问你觉得我可爱吗? |
| 105 | Do you like it? | 你喜欢吗? |
| 106 | Do you love me? | 你爱我吗? |
| 107 | Uh | 对 |
| 108 | {\fn黑体\fs20\shad2\2aH82\3aH20\4aH33\fscx95\3cH592001\be1}她第二天就半贞洁地接受了 | |
| 109 | I found out she's been bouncing around trying to date really any guy who would reciprocate after her craziness got round enough | 我发现她一直在四处玩耍 想和任何在她疯疯癫癫之后 会报复的人约会 |
| 110 | No one would she moved away and jumped in front of a car. | 没有人会搬走 然后跳到车前 |
| 111 | She didn't die though. | 她没死 |
| 112 | She's just crazy | 她只是疯了 |
| 113 | Wait, what? | 等等,什麽? |
| 114 | Okay | 还好 |
| 115 | First of all mistake by saying you would date someone after talking to them like literally 30 minutes after meeting them | 首先,说你会在和他们谈话后 和他们约会 就像见面后30分钟一样 |
| 116 | Okay, first mistake, but you were able to recognize. | 好吧,第一个错误, 但你能够识别。 |
| 117 | Yeah, this is this little bit craziness and you got away | 是啊,这是一点点疯狂 而你逃脱了 |
| 118 | So that that's crazy | 那太疯狂了 |
| 119 | This may not be considered a horror story, but I am telling it anyways because it was horrifying to me. | 这也许不被认为是恐怖故事,但我还是要说,因为它对我来说是可怕的。 |
| 120 | Lol | 卢尔 |
| 121 | I met a guy online first mistake. | 我遇到一个家伙在网上第一个错误。 |
| 122 | Don't meet any guy online. | 别在网络上碰面 |
| 123 | Don't meet a guy online. | 别在网上碰到男人 |
| 124 | Don't meet don't meet a girl online | 不要见面 不要在网上遇到女孩 |
| 125 | Don't meet anyone online just meet them in person. | 不要在网上遇到任何人 只是面对面地遇到他们。 |
| 126 | I met a guy online | 我在网上遇到一个人 |
| 127 | We chatted for almost a month before we actually went on our first date | 我们聊了近一个月 才开始第一次约会 |
| 128 | Okay, that's good. | 好吧,这是很好的。 |
| 129 | At least it wasn't like after the first hour first week a month | 至少一个月头一个小时后 情况不是这样 |
| 130 | I feel like it's a good enough time. | 我觉得时间够多了 |
| 131 | Hopefully you got to know them | 希望你认识他们 |
| 132 | Well, we hit it off immediately and got and had a lot in common | 嗯,我们马上打下来, 得到了和有很多共同点 |
| 133 | We laughed a lot and the whole date went really well until the end of the night | 我们笑了很久 整个约会一直持续到晚上 |
| 134 | You know the end of the night when it's a bit awkward for some and you are waiting | 你知道,当晚上的结束, 当它有点尴尬一些 而你在等待 |
| 135 | You are waiting for that end of the night kiss or sort of goodbye | 你在等那个晚上的吻或那种告别 |
| 136 | I was sitting in the passenger seat in front of my car and we both kind of awkwardly leaned in and went and went the same | 我坐在车前的乘客座椅上 我们两个都尴尬地靠着 一起走了 |
| 137 | Way, so it was going to be a miss hard to explain | 说来话长 很难解释 |
| 138 | Anyways, we both paused and tried to adjust our position and he panicked went uh | 总之,我们都暂停了 并试图调整我们的位置 他惊慌失措了,呃... |
| 139 | Erm um and grabbed me around the neck like I was his little brother | 嗯,嗯,把我绑在脖子上 就像我是他的弟弟一样 |
| 140 | And says come here you and proceeds to noogie me. | 并说来这里你 并开始给我。 |
| 141 | Give me a noogie | 给点颜色看看 |
| 142 | Not for long. | 不长. |
| 143 | It hurt slightly and my hair ended up a freaking mess. | 有点疼,我的头发最后一团糟 |
| 144 | He let go | 他放开了 |
| 145 | He stared blank. | 他盯着空白。 |
| 146 | I stared blankly at the front of the car. | 我空白地看着车头 |
| 147 | He laughed awkwardly | 他尴尬地笑 |
| 148 | I laughed awkwardly and got out of the car. | 我尴尬地笑着下车了 |
| 149 | Neither of us ever spoke to each other again | 我们再也没有说过话 |
| 150 | It's been years and all my friends and I laugh about it | 这么多年了 我和我的朋友都笑了 |
| 151 | He was harmless. | 他是无害的。 |
| 152 | He just panicked i'm not gonna lie that that is funny and just being like being awkward | 他只是惊慌失措 我不会撒谎,那很好笑 就像尴尬一样 |
| 153 | I feel like it's like such a universal experience | 我觉得这就像一个普遍的经验 |
| 154 | You've never really been on many dates or it's like your first date in a while or you're just always nervous on dates | 你从来没有真正在很多约会 或者这就像 你第一次约会在一段时间 或者你只是总是紧张的约会 |
| 155 | You know it's completely normal and then you just do some really weird embarrassing stuff like this | 你知道这是完全正常的, 然后你只是做一些非常奇怪 尴尬的东西像这样 |
| 156 | Honestly, I would think this is funny. | 老实说 我觉得这很有趣 |
| 157 | This would not be a deal breaker for me. | 这对我来说不是交易中断 |
| 158 | I would just say that's pretty funny | 我就说这很有趣 |
| 159 | Especially we got along the guy was probably also really embarrassed too | 特别是我们和那个家伙在一起 可能也很尴尬 |
| 160 | So maybe he just didn't want to like reach out because he was just so embarrassed that that that's a little bit | 所以也许他只是不想接触 因为他太尴尬了 有点 |
| 161 | That's a little cringe next post. | 下个帖子有点痛 |
| 162 | I had a tinder date where he showed up an hour late and drunk | 我和他有个约会 他迟到一个小时 喝醉了 |
| 163 | Brother | 师兄 |
| 164 | What's that? | 这是什么? |
| 165 | Oh, man, this is one thing. | 哦,伙计,这是一件事。 |
| 166 | I don't know. | 师曰. |
| 167 | You guys could let me know what you think. | 你们可以告诉我你们的想法 |
| 168 | Okay, nothing wrong when drinking on a date | 好,约会时喝酒没什么问题 |
| 169 | Okay, what do you think about people getting drunk on a date on a first date? | 好吧,你觉得人们喝醉了 在第一次约会? |
| 170 | Once your boyfriend girlfriend if you're drunk, it's okay. | 一旦你的男朋友女朋友 如果你喝醉了,没关系。 |
| 171 | It's chill | 冷静点 |
| 172 | But on a first date sometimes you drink too much and then you're drunk and when you're drunk | 但第一次约会时你喝多了 然后又喝多了 喝多了 |
| 173 | You're either your truest self or you're not yourself at all | 你要么是你最真实的自己 要么你根本不是你自己 |
| 174 | I don't really I don't really drink at all unless it's like for a special occasion or something, but I would never | 我真的不 真的不喝酒,除非 它是像一个特殊的场合什么的, 但我永远不会 |
| 175 | Never I would never ever get drunk on like a date, especially like a first date or something | 我永远不会喝醉 像约会,特别是第一次约会什么的 |
| 176 | Even if I was nervous, I would never because I feel like so many bad things could happen. | 即使我紧张,我永远不会 因为我觉得 这么多坏事可能发生。 |
| 177 | It's really not worth it | 这真的不值得 |
| 178 | It's like high risk little reward you get a little bit of liquid courage a little bit of confidence | 这就像高风险 没有什么回报 你得到一点点的液体勇气 一点点的信心 |
| 179 | But that could become too much then you could become like belligerent like talking too much saying too much stuff being rude | 但那样会变得太过分 然后你会变得好战 就像说太多话 说太多话 |
| 180 | And that would really scare off a person | 那真的会吓跑一个人 |
| 181 | Like I know if I went on a date first date with a girl and she came drunk or was really drunk or got really drunk | 就像我知道,如果我去约会第一次约会 一个女孩,她来喝醉了, 或真的喝醉了,或真的喝醉了 |
| 182 | I would never see her again. | 我再也见不到她了 |
| 183 | I would think i'm not into someone that's so drunk | 我想我不会喜欢这么醉的人 |
| 184 | Even if she never drinks and she was just nervous drinking is not a solution to being nervous | 即使她不喝酒,她只是紧张喝酒 也不能解决紧张 |
| 185 | It's okay if someone's nervous like everyone's nervous or is like anxious like anyway | 如果有人像别人一样紧张,或者像其他人一样焦虑,那就没事了 |
| 186 | Showed up an hour late and drunk. | 迟到一小时又醉 |
| 187 | He also had a lot more facial features and was a lot older than I thought | 他的面部特征也比我想的长得多 |
| 188 | He tried to show me his shitty pop punk band and get me to go home with him. | 他想给我看他的烂流行朋克乐队 让我跟他回家 |
| 189 | No, just no it was awful | 不,只是不,这是可怕的 |
| 190 | Another time went on a first date to the zoo tinder and I and I go to the petting zoo | 我和我去宠物动物园 |
| 191 | The dude kind of stands outside looking nervous | 那家伙在外面站着 看上去很紧张 |
| 192 | I asked why he won't pet goats with me and he says he's he always gets attacked | 我问他为什么不和我一起养羊 他说他总是被攻击 |
| 193 | I convinced him to come inside and no joke every goat is attacking him within minutes | 我说服他进去,没有笑话 每个山羊都在几分钟内攻击他 |
| 194 | I felt so bad | 我觉得很糟 |
| 195 | He told me he told me to run while these goats are going ham on him | 他告诉我,他让我跑, 当这些山羊去火腿在他身上。 |
| 196 | I was awkward. | 我当时很尴尬 |
| 197 | It was awkward for the rest of the day, bro. | 剩下的时间很尴尬,兄弟 |
| 198 | What goats? | 什么山羊吗? |
| 199 | I don't even wait | 我甚至不等着 |
| 200 | I'm kind of curious goats attack certain people because they perceive them as weak threatening or submissive | 我有点好奇的山羊攻击某些人 因为他们认为他们威胁或服从 |
| 201 | This guy was either very dominant or very submissive next story. | 这家伙要么是非常主导 要么是非常顺从的下一个故事。 |
| 202 | I'll try to keep this short as possible | 我会尽量缩短时间 |
| 203 | I'm taking serious as true and not a serious topic as this is obviously humorous the black bean soup incident | 我是认真的,不是严肃的话题 因为这显然是幽默的 黑豆汤事件 |
| 204 | Oh also you guys y'all need to get on coconut water | 你们还要喝椰子水 |
| 205 | I don't know if i'm like the first one to ever drink coconut water or something | 我不知道我是不是第一个喝椰子水的 |
| 206 | But coconut water in the fridge cold take it out drink it. | 但是冰箱里的椰子水冷了 把它拿出来喝 |
| 207 | Oh my god | 天呐 |
| 208 | So good, so so good. | 这么好,那么好。 |
| 209 | I've only really had coconut water. | 我只喝过椰子水 |
| 210 | That's warm | 好热啊 |
| 211 | Actually, honestly any liquid tastes better tastes better ice cold | 老实说,任何液体的味道都比冰冷 |
| 212 | But the ones I need like I need to drink ice cold like I can't drink coconut water and milk | 但我需要的 喜欢喝冰冷 喜欢我不能喝椰子水和牛奶 |
| 213 | Milk has to be ice cold coconut water ice cold. | 牛奶必须是冰冷的椰子水冰。 |
| 214 | I don't know. | 师曰. |
| 215 | I don't know that was low-key random | 我不知道那是低调随机的 |
| 216 | Anyways, let's get back into it | 无论如何,让我们回到它 |
| 217 | I went to a small engineering college and there were like nine girls in my program | 我上过一所小工程学院 计划里有九个女孩 |
| 218 | One of which was extremely hot and very cool. | 其中一个非常热,非常酷 |
| 219 | I was neither but can be funny and I use that to my advantage | 我本来不是,但会搞笑的,我利用它来占我便宜 |
| 220 | Over the course of six months | 六个月期间 |
| 221 | I slowly woo her to the point where where I am fairly confident that she will say yes upon asking her out | 我慢慢地迷惑她 以至于我相当相信她约她出去会答应的 |
| 222 | This was in the 90s | 这是在90年代 |
| 223 | By the way when you still had to manually ask girls out a few more weeks go by and I finally ask her out | 顺便说一句,你还得手动约女孩出去 再过几个星期 我终于约她出去了 |
| 224 | And she accepts I am completely smitten with this girl. | 她接受我和这个女孩的感情 |
| 225 | I pick her up at her sorority house | 我在她的联谊会家里接她 |
| 226 | Hey, i'm not one to judge but I will never ever ever | 嘿,我不是一个判断 但我永远不会 |
| 227 | No | 没有 |
| 228 | Ever date someone that was in a sorority house is in a sorority house or anything like that | 曾经在联谊会里约会过的人 就是在联谊会里之类的 |
| 229 | I hear way too many stories about that stuff. | 我听到太多关于那东西的故事。 |
| 230 | It's just not for me | 不是给我的 |
| 231 | I would not which is an awkward deal | 我不觉得这很尴尬 |
| 232 | If you have never done it before because a dozen girls answer the door to check you out | 如果你从来没有这样做过 因为十几个女孩 回答门来检查你 |
| 233 | I take her to the best restaurant I can find slash afford and so far everything is going great | 我带她去最好的餐厅,我找到 斜线买得起 到目前为止一切都很好 |
| 234 | I order a bowl of the soup of the day and an entree. | 我点了一天的汤和点心 |
| 235 | She orders something | 她点了一些东西 |
| 236 | Inconsequential to the story as you can guess the soup do do do | 与故事无关,因为你可以猜测 汤做 |
| 237 | Do do do do | 这样做 |
| 238 | Is black bean soup, I think one of my favorites is lentil soup with beef | 是黑豆汤,我想我最喜欢的就是小扁豆汤 |
| 239 | I live in like the opposite side of the world from my mom and my mom is like the best cook in the world and | 我住在世界的另一边 从我妈妈和我妈妈是世界上最好的厨师 |
| 240 | She makes such good lentil soup, man | 她做的扁豆汤这么好吃,伙计 |
| 241 | Now I'm now I want it bro. | 现在我想要它,兄弟。 |
| 242 | The waiter is this much more attractive than me | 服务生比我更有魅力 |
| 243 | Late 20s guy who is obviously scoping my date and suddenly flirting with her | 20多岁的家伙 谁显然 确定我的约会 突然调情与她 |
| 244 | Are you done? | 说完了吗? |
| 245 | Oh | 瓳 |
| 246 | Fuck that so my machismo is activated. | 他妈的,所以我的大男子主义被激活。 |
| 247 | One thing about this is if uh, | 有一件事是,如果,呃, |
| 248 | I don't know. | 师曰. |
| 249 | It's a first date. | 初约. |
| 250 | So I won't say anything so much so that when said waiter suggests | 所以,我不会说太多 所以当说服务员建议 |
| 251 | I order the cup | 我点杯子 |
| 252 | Of soup versus the bowl as their bowls are very large | 汤对碗 因为他们的碗很大 |
| 253 | I take it as a shot across the bow of my fragile masculinity insist that I can handle the bowl | 我把它当作一个镜头 穿过我的脆弱男性的弓 坚持我可以处理碗 |
| 254 | The bowl is delivered and it's more of a turin. | 碗是送来的,它更是一个图林。 |
| 255 | I fucking I don't know if i'm stupid | 我他妈不知道自己是不是傻子 |
| 256 | What the frick is a turin? | 什么他妈的是Turin? |
| 257 | Okay. | 摆 |
| 258 | It's a a large deep serving bowl with a lid and fixed handles. | 它是一个大型的深层服务碗,有盖盖和固定的把手. |
| 259 | Okay | 还好 |
| 260 | Turin | 都灵 |
| 261 | Turin you can easily feed a family of four with leftovers | 都灵,你很容易养活一个四口人 |
| 262 | But now my dumb ass has to not only finish it | 但现在我的蠢驴 不仅必须完成它 |
| 263 | But also act like it's normal to eat a gallon of soup as I made a big deal of it | 也装作吃一加仑的汤是正常的 就像我做了一件大事一样 |
| 264 | I ate the soup and i'm already thanksgiving stuffed when they bring out my entree | 我吃汤了,当他们拿我的菜来时,我已经感恩了 |
| 265 | Which is obviously which I obviously have to eat as well or admit to | 很明显我也要吃 或承认 |
| 266 | Handsome waiter and date that i'm an idiot which is a fragile eagle that I can't take an obvious suggestion, bro | 帅气的服务员和约会 我是一个白痴 这只脆弱的鹰 我不能接受一个明显的建议,兄弟 |
| 267 | It did like takeaway containers not exist in the 90s. | 这的确像在90年代不存在的外卖容器。 |
| 268 | I'm confused despite my obvious physical discomfort | 尽管我身体上明显不舒服,我还是很困惑 |
| 269 | My date cannot seem to tell that I am uncomfortable that I may explode from either | 我的约会人似乎不能说 我不舒服,我可能会爆炸 从两个 |
| 270 | And at an instant, what's gonna happen? | 瞬间 会发生什么? |
| 271 | Am I gonna blow up my thighs and then you blow up | 我要炸掉我的大腿 然后你就爆炸了 |
| 272 | Just give it a button down | 只要按下按钮 |
| 273 | Furthermore as I get up to use the | 而且,当我起床使用 |
| 274 | Bathroom my date asks if we can stop by her sorority house on the way to our movie | 洗手间 我约会的人问我们能不能去她的联谊会家 去看电影 |
| 275 | So she can pick up a sweater for the cold theater despite the obvious | 所以她可以拿件毛衣去寒冷的剧院 尽管很明显 |
| 276 | I say no problem and we get up to leave as i'm walking to the car | 我说没有问题,我们起身去 我走在车上 |
| 277 | I get the feeling like a knife to my belt line followed by a gurgling noise as eight pounds of shit | 我的感觉就像一把刀 在我的腰带线上, 后面的咕噜声像八磅狗屎 |
| 278 | Are transferred from my intestine to my colon | 从我的肠子转到我的结肠 |
| 279 | Uh | 对 |
| 280 | I'm still not worried though | 我还是不担心 |
| 281 | As we drive to her place as it's like five minutes to the theater | 当我们开车去她家的时候 就像5分钟到剧院一样 |
| 282 | We get to her sorority house and she asks if I need to come inside for anything | 我们到她的联谊会家 她问我是否需要进来 |
| 283 | I would like to think she wanted to fool around but I think she now picked up on my situation | 我想她想耍花招 但我想她现在知道了我的情况 |
| 284 | Probably from my profuse sweaty and silence | 可能是因为我的汗流和沉默 |
| 285 | No, i'm fine and she heads inside to get her coat and do god knows what else because she's in there for what feels like | 不,我很好,她去里面 给她的外套,做上帝知道什么 因为她在那里什么感觉 |
| 286 | An hour then another sharp pain, bro | 一小时后又痛得厉害 兄弟 |
| 287 | Honestly at this point just fucking leave dude, like the the way the way the situation is going two options option one | 老实说,现在只是他妈的离开的家伙, 像的方式 情况是走向两个选择方案一 |
| 288 | You wait for her | 你等着她 |
| 289 | She gets in the car you shit your pants either in the car or in the movie theater or on the way there | 她上车了,你要么在车里 要么在电影院 要么在路上拉裤子 |
| 290 | Or you use the washroom like a normal person | 或者你像正常人一样使用洗手间 |
| 291 | I don't i'm not sure why you didn't use the washroom at the restaurant | 我不知道为什么你不在餐厅用洗手间 |
| 292 | But if you could make it to the theater use the washroom you could be good | 但是如果你能到剧院去 使用洗手间,你可以很好 |
| 293 | You could also shit your pants second option. | 你也可以拉屎 你的裤子第二个选择。 |
| 294 | Just drive away. | 开车走 |
| 295 | Just drive away | 开车走吧 |
| 296 | You can text her you could try to fix it later, but at least she won't see you shit her pants | 你可以给她发短信 等会再修 但至少她不会看到你拉裤子 |
| 297 | Yes, she'd probably be mad that you abandoned her left a date just explain the situation | 是的,她可能会生气 你抛弃了她留下的约会 只是解释一下情况 |
| 298 | Say a family emergency came up say something two options wonder what he'll choose | 说家里有急事 说出两个办法 |
| 299 | I have now sweat literally through my clothes as I realize I have to shit and I have to shit | 我现在在衣服上流汗 因为我意识到我必须拉屎,我必须拉屎 |
| 300 | now | 现在 |
| 301 | Everyone leave I have to poop | 每个人都离开,我要大便 |
| 302 | now | 现在 |
| 303 | I get up and I run to the front door | 我站起来跑到前门 |
| 304 | Which isn't helping my situation any as I desperately scrambled to fling open the door to the sorority house | 这对我的情况没有任何帮助 因为我拼命地拼命地 打开了联谊会的门 |
| 305 | locked, of course | 当然锁了 |
| 306 | Man | 哥们 |
| 307 | Should have drove away. | 应该开车离开的 |
| 308 | You shouldn't drove away because now it was bad enough that your date would see you shit your pants now an entire | 你不应该开车离开,因为现在已经够糟糕了 你的约会会看到你拉裤子 现在整个 |
| 309 | Sorority house from your university is most likely going to witness you pooping your pants | 你大学的联谊会 很可能会看到你拉裤子 |
| 310 | Everyone in the university is going to know who you are, dude | 大学里每个人都知道你是谁 |
| 311 | Locked of course, it's too late. | 当然被锁住了 太晚了 |
| 312 | I run around the side of the house | 我绕着房子一边跑 |
| 313 | Drop down and proceed to shit my brains out pressed | 放下枪,继续拉我的脑袋 |
| 314 | My back hard against the side of the building and I attempt to keep from contaminating myself | 我背对着大楼的一侧 我试图避免污染自己 |
| 315 | I'm not successful though. | 但我没有成功 |
| 316 | I immediately felt physically better as I put myself back together | 我马上感觉身体好些了 当我重新振作起来 |
| 317 | I realized in sheer terror that my shoes and lower parts of my pants have been splattered | 我惊慌失措地意识到 我的鞋子和裤子的下部都被溅了 |
| 318 | boy | 小子,你这小子 |
| 319 | That escalated quickly | 迅速升级 |
| 320 | I mean that really got out of hand fast | 我的意思是,这真的 失控很快 |
| 321 | It jumped up a notch. | 它跳了起来。 |
| 322 | It did didn't it bro drive away, dude. | 它不是兄弟开车离开,伙计。 |
| 323 | Drive away drive away | 开车,开车 |
| 324 | Just get get up move transfer. | 赶紧起来转移 |
| 325 | You're gonna have to transfer states dude. | 你得把美国佬调走 |
| 326 | You might have to just transfer countries | 你可能得转移国家 |
| 327 | I start pulling together a plan of action run to the car run home run home explain later | 我开始整理一个行动计划 运行到汽车运行 全垒打回家解释 |
| 328 | When as i'm heading to the car, I spot my date sitting patiently in the passenger seat | 当我去汽车时,我发现我的约会 耐心地坐在乘客座位上 |
| 329 | The hell she teleport somehow on the spot. | 她怎么就把电话传送到现场 |
| 330 | I came up with what I thought at the time was a brilliant excuse | 我当时想出了一个很好的理由 |
| 331 | That I also have to stop by my house to change as I stepped in dog shit while we're leaving myself on the side | 我还得到我家去换衣服 当我踩到狗屎的时候 我们却把自己丢在一边 |
| 332 | Of her sorority house | 她的联谊会 |
| 333 | She spared me from having to explain why I could not wait to use the bathroom at the theater | 她让我不用解释为什么我等不及去剧院上厕所 |
| 334 | I assumed she was distracted by the horrible odor in the car, but more likely she knew the truth | 我以为她被车里的可怕气味分心了 但她更可能知道真相 |
| 335 | Whatever the case the angel did not make me elaborate or anything and we had a great rest of the evening | 不管是什么案子 天使没有让我细说什么 我们有一个伟大的夜晚休息 |
| 336 | Someone said this hurt bad. | 有人说这很痛 |
| 337 | Did you continue dating? | 你继续约会吗? |
| 338 | We did for six months and now we're facebook friends | 我们做了六个月,现在我们是Facebook朋友 |
| 339 | Dude, that that story was so many bad choices, dude | 伙计,那故事太糟糕了 |
| 340 | First of all, I'm like a low-key surprise takeaway containers do not exist or | 首先,我就像一个低调的惊喜 外卖容器不存在或者 |
| 341 | Is it like a thing of like having a fragile ego that you you don't want to ask for takeaway containers next story | 就像一个脆弱的自我 你不希望要求 外卖容器下一个故事 |
| 342 | These are all from eight years ago, by the way, so these these are like prehistoric stories | 顺便说一下,这些都是八年前的事了 所以这些就像史前的故事 |
| 343 | These are like dinosaurs and like fossils match with a woman online who had a kid | 这些就像恐龙和化石 和一个有孩子的网上女人匹配 |
| 344 | This particular weekend kid was going to be with the dad. | 这个周末的孩子会和爸爸在一起 |
| 345 | She asked me to come over hang out | 她叫我过来玩 |
| 346 | She mentioned she wanted to smoke so I brought a j | 她说她想抽烟 所以我带了个J |
| 347 | Joint mediana came over and her house was decent. | 联合媒体来了 她的房子是体面的。 |
| 348 | She had a big sectional couch | 她有个大沙发 |
| 349 | She sat right next to me fired up the j pass it to her and she hits it a few times and gives it back | 她就坐在我旁边 把J传给她 她打了几次,还给我 |
| 350 | I hit it as well and offered her you're smoking inside the house. | 我打了它,并提议她 你在房子里吸烟。 |
| 351 | What the heck | 或 |
| 352 | And she says no, thanks. | 她拒绝了 谢谢 |
| 353 | Okay. | 摆 |
| 354 | No biggie. | 没什么大不了的 |
| 355 | I'll put it out | 我会灭掉的 |
| 356 | She gets up after a minute and goes into the other room where she comes back | 一分钟后她就起来 回到她回来的另一间房间 |
| 357 | She is sitting on the other side of the couch and not talking at all | 她坐在沙发的另一边 完全不说话 |
| 358 | It was then that I noticed that she had something in her hand | 我发现她手里有东西 |
| 359 | And she has a death grip on it. | 她对这个有死心病 |
| 360 | I'm talking i'm talking white knuckles | 我说的是白指 |
| 361 | I asked her if she's okay and she says the voices in my head are telling me to stab you | 我问她是否没事 她说我脑子里的声音让我刺你 |
| 362 | No, no, no | 没有,没有,没有 |
| 363 | Don't do it | 别这样 |
| 364 | If i'm in this situation i'm sitting on the couch someone's on the other side of the couch | 如果我处于这种境地 我坐在沙发上 有人坐在沙发的另一边 |
| 365 | They're acting really weird. | 他们表现得很怪异 |
| 366 | They're gripping something crazy and they're like the voices in my i'm up i'm up first of all | 他们抓着的东西疯狂 他们就像我的声音 我起来,首先 |
| 367 | I'm standing up. | 我站起来了 |
| 368 | I'm i'm i'm alert. | 我是一个警告。 |
| 369 | I'm sober zoom dude. | 我是清醒的缩放的家伙。 |
| 370 | I'm gone. | 我不见了 |
| 371 | I'm out. | 我出来了 |
| 372 | You're she's not even finishing that sentence | 你连句子都没说完 |
| 373 | I'm gone, dude. | 我走了,伙计。 |
| 374 | Ain't no way. | 没办法。 |
| 375 | Okay. | 摆 |
| 376 | Oh, you're scared. | 哦,你吓坏了。 |
| 377 | You're running away. | 你跑开。 |
| 378 | Yeah | 对 |
| 379 | By a crazy high woman with a knife in her hand gripping that thing | 被一个拿着刀的疯婆子抓住 |
| 380 | Also, she has kids and at this point I noticed that what she is holding is a pencil | 还有,她有孩子,此时我注意到她拿着的是铅笔 |
| 381 | Okay, not bad, but but it's a house and house usually have knives | 好吧,不错,但这是房子和房子 通常有刀 |
| 382 | So I would not feel safe | 所以我不会觉得安全 |
| 383 | I made some kind of awkward laugh then asked to use her bathroom got up and saw the garage door was open | 我笑得有点尴尬 然后叫她上厕所 看到车库门开着 |
| 384 | Didn't even hesitate right out the garage | 连车库都不敢犹豫 |
| 385 | Okay, next story turns out i'd been the side chick the entire time | 好吧,下一个故事证明 我一直都是那个小妞 |
| 386 | The other girl got in touch with me over facebook after she put the pieces together | 另外一个女孩在脸书上联系我 之后,她把棋子放在一起 |
| 387 | He was telling her he was single he lived on his own had a career and was | 他告诉她他单身 他靠自己生活 有事业 |
| 388 | Enrolled full-time at university. | 大学全日制招生. |
| 389 | He was talking about going to visit her or moving her in he and I were living together in the apartment | 他说要去看她 或者把她搬进去 我住在公寓里 |
| 390 | I paid for because he couldn't get off his ass and get a job | 我付了钱,因为他不能脱身找工作 |
| 391 | I was the one struggling to make ends meet and putting my future plans on the line while he barely went to school | 是我拼命求生 把未来计划放在线上 而他却几乎没去上学 |
| 392 | And spent all his time at his filthy ass friend's place down the street | 在街上他那肮脏的屁股朋友家度过 |
| 393 | Oh, and I was three months pregnant with his child | 哦,我怀了他孩子三个月 |
| 394 | What | 什麽? |
| 395 | He honestly couldn't understand why I was so upset because it's not like he actually meant any of those things or slept with her | 他真不明白我为什么这么不高兴 因为其实他不是想跟她上床 |
| 396 | Sounds like she was the side chick. | 听起来她就是那个小妞 |
| 397 | Yeah, it sounds like the other girl was a side chick, bro. | 是啊,这听起来像另一个女孩 是侧身小妞,兄弟。 |
| 398 | Oh | 瓳 |
| 399 | That is terrible, dude. | 这太可怕了,伙计。 |
| 400 | Oh like a freaking like a bum ass freaking dude cheating not working. | 像个混蛋一样 骗人不干活 |
| 401 | You're pregnant | 你怀孕了吗? |
| 402 | This just sounds like it's so icky this and gross this thing that I hate that I hate | 这听起来太恶心和恶心了 我讨厌这样 |
| 403 | Hate people like that next story. | 恨别人这样的下一个故事。 |
| 404 | This was one of the first dates I ever went on | 这是我第一次约会 |
| 405 | I knew him a bit through college and friends. | 我认识他 通过大学和朋友。 |
| 406 | He was out at student night and we hit it off and had a bit of a kiss | 他在学生夜里出来 我们碰了一下 然后吻了一下 |
| 407 | He he had a room in a shared house in the center of town and he invited me over later that week | 他住在市中心的一个共用房子里 那星期晚些时候他邀请了我 |
| 408 | I arrived there expecting to be going out on a date or for a drink or whatever | 我到了那里 期待出去约会或喝一杯什么的 |
| 409 | But there were loads of his friends there in his room | 但他房间里有很多朋友 |
| 410 | Bit weird, but I knew them a bit and they were a nice crowd | 有点奇怪,但我认识他们 和他们是一个很好的人群 |
| 411 | I thought we'd be heading off on our own shortly. | 我想我们很快就会自己出发了 |
| 412 | Nope. | 没有 |
| 413 | My date totally ignored me | 我的约会完全忽略了我 |
| 414 | Like I wasn't there one of the girls said to him. | 就像我当时没有女孩对他说的那样 |
| 415 | Hey date's name. | 嘿,约会的名字。 |
| 416 | Look who's here | 看谁来了 |
| 417 | He said oh hi and nodded and went back to chatting not including me at all | 他说,哦,嗨,点头,然后回去聊天 根本不包括我 |
| 418 | I sat I sat awkwardly making small talk with some of the girls giving him curious looks and trying to catch his eye | 我坐着 尴尬地和一些女孩聊天 给他好奇的外表 试着吸引他的眼睛 |
| 419 | Nothing. | 没什么 |
| 420 | Everyone decided to go to someone else's house to watch a film | 大家都决定去别人家看电影 |
| 421 | So I trailed along with them him striding off in front of me and me near the back still making small talk with some | 所以我跟着他们 他紧紧地在我和我的前面 靠近后面 和一些人闲聊 |
| 422 | Of the girls who I didn't really know dude. | 我不认识的那些女孩 |
| 423 | I would just leave i'm gonna be honest | 我会离开,我会说实话 |
| 424 | I would just I would dude if I go | 如果我走,我就会去 |
| 425 | Expecting it to be a date | 期待成为约会 |
| 426 | I guess I didn't clarify what kind of date it was I go and it's just a bunch of people and I'd be like | 我想我没说清楚我去了哪一个约会 只是一群人 |
| 427 | I'm feeling ignored. | 我觉得被忽略了 |
| 428 | They obviously don't want to talk to me. | 他们显然不想跟我说话 |
| 429 | Someone literally says oh they're here and they're like, oh, that's cool | 有人字面上说哦,他们在这里 他们喜欢,哦,这很酷 |
| 430 | As soon as I would just leave then or when they're going to the next house | 我一离开,他们就到隔壁 |
| 431 | I would just leave this this is not worth it. | 我放弃这不值得 |
| 432 | This person obviously does not care | 这个人显然不在乎 |
| 433 | I would be gone. | 我会离开。 |
| 434 | I was too green and awkward to realize I should have bounced then. | 我太绿和尴尬 无法意识到我应该 跳过那时。 |
| 435 | Yeah, sadly | 是啊,很伤心 |
| 436 | I sat through a film at a relative stranger's house while he continued to ignore me awkwardly said bye to everyone after the film had finished | 我坐在一个陌生人家的电影里 他继续无视我 尴尬地说再见 在电影完成之后 |
| 437 | Still hoping he might acknowledge me and walk me to the bus stop at least nope | 还是希望他能认出我 陪我去公交车站 至少不要 |
| 438 | So I had a bit of a scary walk to the bus stop through town alone at night feeling pretty puzzled and embarrassed | 所以我在晚上独自走一趟公交车站 感到很困惑和尴尬 |
| 439 | Some saw him around college afterwards and he was always standoffish cool | 大学毕业后有人看见他 他总是冷酷无情 |
| 440 | You don't like me after all then I guess a year or two later | 毕竟你不喜欢我,我猜一年两年后 |
| 441 | I was out at a club and he was there he was like | 我在一个俱乐部,他在那里,他喜欢 |
| 442 | Oh, I knew you'd be here and gave me a really weird gushing over the top apology about how he treated me | 哦,我知道你会在这里, 给了我一个非常怪异的涌动 为顶级道歉 关于他如何对待我 |
| 443 | Tried to hug me repeatedly and buy me an apology drink, which I politely refused | 多次想抱我 买杯道歉酒给我 我礼貌地拒绝了 |
| 444 | I feel like she had a glow up. | 我觉得她发光了 |
| 445 | She had a really crazy glow up and then he was like, oh shit | 她发光了,然后他就说,哦,妈的 |
| 446 | Right | 对 |
| 447 | He literally followed me around and eventually stood on his own gazing at me lovingly at the edge of the dance floor for ages | 从字面上跟踪我 最终自己站在我身边 |
| 448 | Well, I tried to dance with my friends his hands were cupping his face like he was staring up at me | 我试着和朋友跳舞 他的手在拍他的脸 就像他盯着我一样 |
| 449 | With a little indulgent smile like I was the loveliest thing she'd ever seen. | 带着一点点的放纵的笑容 就像我是她见过的最可爱的东西一样 |
| 450 | Oh, what the heck? | 哦,什么地狱? |
| 451 | This is so weird, dude | 这太奇怪了,伙计 |
| 452 | To the point where it was quite creepy | 以至于它相当令人毛骨悚然 |
| 453 | Yeah, dude | 是啊,伙计 |
| 454 | You just have this random dude that you had a terrible terrible date with like one or two years ago | 你只是有一个随机的家伙 你有一个可怕的约会 像一两年前 |
| 455 | This random dude you had a date with two years ago is now like staring at you like like this in the club | 两年前你和那个随便约会的家伙 现在就像在俱乐部里这样盯着你 |
| 456 | Like you good bro, like what the I would think let's go | 像你这样好兄弟,就像我想我们走吧 |
| 457 | Let's go girls and I would not leave your friend's side dude | 走吧,女孩们,我不会离开你朋友的伴郎 |
| 458 | Because this guy just seems weird like off his office thing like he you definitely had a glow up and he's definitely like | 因为这家伙看起来很怪 就像他办公室里的东西一样... ...你肯定发光了... |
| 459 | She she still loves me. | 她仍然爱我 |
| 460 | She's still obsessed with me. | 她仍然对我着迷 |
| 461 | No, dude | 不,伙计 |
| 462 | My friends were all like who's that guy and why is he being so weird? | 我的朋友都喜欢 谁的那个人 他为什么这么奇怪? |
| 463 | Not a damned clue tldr got invited out to a guy expecting to go out on a date | 没有一个该死的线索 特德被邀请到一个男人 期待约会 |
| 464 | But was greeted by a full house of his mates while he completely blanked me leaving me humiliated | 却被他一屋子的同伴迎接 而他却把我丢得一团糟 |
| 465 | Years later bumped into him at a club and he followed me and he followed me around gazing at me | 几年后,他在一家俱乐部碰到他 他跟着我,他跟着我到处盯着我 |
| 466 | Like I was an angel from heaven | 就像我是天堂的天使一样 |
| 467 | Weirder next story dated a guy in uni who upon having the chat about what are we? | 下一个故事更怪异 和一个在尼尼的家伙约会 谁在聊天 我们是什么? |
| 468 | Oh, dude, not the what are we the dreaded? | 哦,伙计,不是什么 我们害怕? |
| 469 | So | 这么说 |
| 470 | What are we? | 我们是什么? |
| 471 | Huh told me that he wanted to be single but with me translation. | Huh告诉我,他想单身 但与我翻译。 |
| 472 | You're great | 你真厉害 |
| 473 | But I want to get my deek wet elsewhere, too | 但我也想在别的地方弄湿我的德行 |
| 474 | And if I strike out you'll be there that definitely gave me all the warm fuzzy feeling inside | 如果我打出,你会在那里 绝对给了我所有的温暖模糊的感觉 里面 |
| 475 | Nevertheless, we did end up dating for about six months in total right up until he dumped me the night before valentine's day | 尽管如此,我们最终还是约会了大约六个月 直到他甩了我 在情人节前一天晚上 |
| 476 | After I had just bought over $150 of lingerie as a surprise for the occasion | 我刚刚买了150多块内衣作为惊喜 |
| 477 | Now whenever I wear it, I remind myself that I bought that for my damn self | 现在每当我穿它,我提醒自己 我买它是为了我自己 |
| 478 | And i'm glad that he never got the treat of seeing me wear it. | 我很高兴他没机会看到我穿它 |
| 479 | Okay, we have a few more stories | 好吧,我们还有几个故事 |
| 480 | This is more of a post dating story | 这更像是约会后的故事 |
| 481 | But my ex-boyfriend from undergrad and I kept in relatively close contact since his engagement to another woman | 但我从大学毕业的前男友 和我保持相对密切的接触 自从他和另一个女人订婚 |
| 482 | Ended up out four years ago. | 四年前结业. |
| 483 | Okay weird | 好吧,有点怪 |
| 484 | Anyway, he started dating a 19 year old. | 无论如何,他开始约会 一个19岁。 |
| 485 | He's 32 her mom made them break up | 他32岁了 她妈妈让他们分手的 |
| 486 | Yeah, because that's weird what? | 是啊,因为这很奇怪什么? |
| 487 | 19 | 第19条 |
| 488 | Now he's basically messaging me on all forms of social media non-stop talking about how I need to help him because he saw visions of arch | 现在他基本上给我发短信 各种社交媒体 不停地谈论我需要如何帮助他 因为他看到了拱眼 |
| 489 | Archangels and then he looked at my insta and I was at a church. | 然后他看着我的Insta和我在教堂。 |
| 490 | I'm in europe for a few weeks | 我在欧洲待了几个星期 |
| 491 | Anyways, it's getting creepy to the point where I had to block him from social media | 总之,这越来越令人毛骨悚然 以至于我不得不阻止他离开社交媒体 |
| 492 | Make everything private and I probably have to delete my damn reddit account because he knows what that is, too | 让一切私密,我可能不得不删除 我的该死的reddit账户,因为他知道是什么,太 |
| 493 | I hugged my husband extra tight this evening. | 今晚我特别紧紧地拥抱了我丈夫 |
| 494 | That's for sure | 当然 |
| 495 | I went on a really shitty date to fort necessity with a guy who worked at jc penny and sold coins on ebay | 我和一个在Jc硬币公司工作 并在ebay上卖硬币的人 约会了个糟糕透顶的约会 |
| 496 | But but now this story just pales in comparison | 但是现在这个故事却比不上 |
| 497 | Yeah, that guy just sounds like you were his rebound, but you literally have a husband | 是啊,那家伙只是听起来像你是他的反弹, 但你字面上有一个丈夫 |
| 498 | Also, I think it's weird that you were still in contact with your ex from when you're 19 when you have a husband | 还有,我觉得很奇怪 你从19岁起就一直和前女友联系 |
| 499 | Personally, that's weird. | 个人来说,这很奇怪。 |
| 500 | Why are you doing that? | 你为什么要这么做? |
| 501 | Why why you can't have in contact with any ex last story? | 为什么你不能接触前一个故事? |
| 502 | Well first would be the guy who nonchalantly announced how drunk he is from the day before | 首先,就是那个不生气地宣布 他从前一天起有多醉的人 |
| 503 | Picked me up in a car when exiting the parking lot. | 离开停车场时把我载到车里 |
| 504 | He couldn't be bothered to drive all the way around so he drove | 他不会被打扰 开车到处走 所以他开车 |
| 505 | Over the curb stone grassy hill and sidewalk during the drive | 在路边的石头上 草木的山和人行道 |
| 506 | He proceeded to highlight to me how a woman has to take care of herself specifically insisting on fake nails makeup and heels | 他开始告诉我一个女人 如何照顾自己 特别坚持 假钉子化妆和高跟鞋 |
| 507 | While I have nothing against those things | 虽然我对这种事没什么意见 |
| 508 | I personally am personally am not i'm not much comfortable in either and save it for rare occasions | 我个人不太自在 也不太自在 难得难得的事 |
| 509 | The rest of the day consisted of visiting his friends where they discussed his time in prison and how to get the best high | 剩下的时间是拜访他的朋友 在那里他们讨论了他在监狱的时间 以及如何得到最好的高 |
| 510 | Out of tramadol nice. | 从曲马多的好。 |
| 511 | I accidentally let it slip that i'll be at a certain party the weekend after the horrible date | 我意外地让它溜走了,我会在恐怖约会后的周末去某个派对 |
| 512 | He texted me the day to say that he's coming to at the party. | 他给我发了短信说 他要去派对 |
| 513 | He first decided to ignore me | 他先决定不理我 |
| 514 | He literally looked at me for a minute and then turned around and walked away | 他看着我一分钟 然后转身走开 |
| 515 | Then went on to deny it and finally admitted to it claiming he wanted to show me he also has friends | 然后继续否认,最后承认了,说他想给我看 他也有朋友 |
| 516 | Whatever that might mean once he sat down with me and my friends | 不管他跟我和我的朋友坐下来意味着什么 |
| 517 | I could see them all get uncomfortable by his behavior | 我看得出来他们都因为他的行为而不舒服 |
| 518 | And the last drop was when he grabbed my friend's pack of cigarettes without asking or anything | 最后一滴是当他拿了我的朋友的包香烟 不问什么什么 |
| 519 | And without batting an eye took his last cigarette. | 他的最后一支烟没被打中 |
| 520 | I don't know why it made me cringe | 我不知道为什么它让我相信 |
| 521 | I'm not a smoker, but I feel like that's like taboo taking someone's last cigarette | 我不是烟鬼,但我觉得这就像禁忌 抽别人最后的烟 |
| 522 | I feel like that's like oh like a like a war crime or something | 我觉得这就像哦 就像一个战争罪什么的 |
| 523 | The second would be paul not his name. | 第二个是保罗,不是他的名字。 |
| 524 | We met in a bar when we were 17 and he seemed pretty decent | 我们17岁在酒吧认识的 他看起来很体面 |
| 525 | Nonetheless, there was one thing that bothered me every time we set a date of sorts | 不过,每次我们定个约会 都会有一件事让我烦恼 |
| 526 | We would end up sitting somewhere with usually large groups of his friends whom I didn't know | 我们最终会坐在某个地方 通常他一大群朋友 我不知道 |
| 527 | I was very shy and socially awkward. | 我当时很害羞,很尴尬 |
| 528 | So it threw me off every time the worst thing was that in their group | 所以每一次最糟糕的事 就是他们组里 |
| 529 | They for some reason insisted on girls sitting together at one half of the table and all the guys on the other | 他们因为某种原因 坚持让女孩们坐在桌子的另一半 和男人们坐在一起 |
| 530 | Not only I had no chance to actually talk to my date | 不仅没有机会跟我约会 |
| 531 | I was also forced to listen to the girl stories about how insecure my date sister is | 我还被迫听女孩的故事 说我的约会妹妹有多不安全 |
| 532 | In relationships and a bunch of other stuff I consider rather private | 在恋爱和一堆其他的东西 我觉得相当私人 |
| 533 | I should have also mentioned paul loved skateboarding which which was something I actually liked about him | 我本该提到保罗喜欢滑板的 其实我很喜欢他 |
| 534 | It was heartwarming watching him get all passionate about it | 看着他满怀激情,真令人心动 |
| 535 | However, it also meant that he sometimes postponed or canceled our dates because of practice be honest | 但是,这也意味着他有时会推迟或取消我们的约会 因为练习诚实 |
| 536 | I was not really bothered by that. | 我并不为那个烦恼 |
| 537 | Why would I write? | 我为什么要写? |
| 538 | You cannot force anyone to spend time with you and and he was welcome to see me whenever he wanted | 你不能强迫任何人跟你在一起 他随时欢迎我 |
| 539 | After about a month of official dating paul decided to break it off by an by announcement on facebook | 约一个月后 正式和Paul约会后 决定通过在Facebook上 发布公告来解除 |
| 540 | When I asked him about it | 当我问他这件事 |
| 541 | He sort of lashed out asking if I even like to date him and hinting on the two of us not seeing each other | 他总想问我是否喜欢和他约会 并暗示我们没有见面 |
| 542 | So often lately I reminded him | 最近我经常提醒他 |
| 543 | It was him who canceled most of the dates to go practice and instead and props to him. | 正是他取消了大部分的约会 去练习,转而给他道具。 |
| 544 | He admitted defeat | 他承认失败了 |
| 545 | He tried to apologize and take it back later suffice to say his outburst made me politely refuse | 他试图道歉,后来又收回,足以说他的暴怒让我礼貌地拒绝 |
| 546 | His outburst made me politely refuse | 他的暴动让我礼貌地拒绝 |
| 547 | Yeah, baby, that's what i've been waiting for that's what it's all about | 是啊,宝贝,这就是我一直在等待的,这就是它的一切 |
| 548 | Those were some dating horror stories if you guys like this topic dating horror stories or bad harder stories or dating stuff or | 那都是一些约会恐怖故事 如果你们喜欢这个话题 约会恐怖故事 或糟糕的更难的故事 或约会的东西 |
| 549 | Relationship stuff or like stuff like that. | 恋爱之类的 |
| 550 | Let me know in the comments and i'll make more videos like these | 在评论中告诉我 我会做更多这样的视频 |
| 551 | I'll see you guys next time. | 下次见 |
| 552 | Bye. | 再见。 |
| 553 | Bye | 再见 |
| 554 | Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye | 再见 再见 再见 |
该视频共有字幕 556 条。解锁更多字幕为会员功能，请移动到 价格