放手，让自己更强大
字幕摘录
| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| 0:08 | Letting go can make you unstoppable. | 放手可以让你无法阻挡 |
| 0:13 | I know because I let go of a relationship | 我知道 因为我放弃了一段感情 |
| 0:16 | and reclaimed my life. | 夺回了我的生命 |
| 0:18 | And I know that letting go can create the best of change | 我知道放手可以创造最好的变化 |
| 0:21 | for each and every one of you. | 为你们每个人。 |
| 0:24 | Let me tell you a story. | 让我告诉你一个故事。 |
| 0:26 | When I was 41, the death of a relationship | 我41岁的时候 一段感情的死 |
| 0:29 | showed me how to truly let go of what wasn't working. | 教我如何真正放下那些没用的东西 |
| 0:36 | See, up until that time, | 看,直到那时, |
| 0:37 | I didn't really think about the future. | 我其实没想过未来 |
展开字幕全文（202 条）
| 序号 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Letting go can make you unstoppable. | 放手可以让你无法阻挡 |
| 2 | I know because I let go of a relationship | 我知道 因为我放弃了一段感情 |
| 3 | and reclaimed my life. | 夺回了我的生命 |
| 4 | And I know that letting go can create the best of change | 我知道放手可以创造最好的变化 |
| 5 | for each and every one of you. | 为你们每个人。 |
| 6 | Let me tell you a story. | 让我告诉你一个故事。 |
| 7 | When I was 41, the death of a relationship | 我41岁的时候 一段感情的死 |
| 8 | showed me how to truly let go of what wasn't working. | 教我如何真正放下那些没用的东西 |
| 9 | See, up until that time, | 看,直到那时, |
| 10 | I didn't really think about the future. | 我其实没想过未来 |
| 11 | I kind of lived my life like a dog. | 我过着像狗一样的生活 |
| 12 | Moment to moment, I chased balls, | 瞬间,我追着球, |
| 13 | I ate whatever I could find on the ground. | 我在地上找到的东西我都吃了 |
| 14 | And life was good. | 生活还不错 |
| 15 | I had a great job, great friends, | 我有一个伟大的工作, 伟大的朋友, |
| 16 | a great apartment, a great actual dog, | 一个很棒的公寓 一个很棒的狗 |
| 17 | and a great boyfriend. | 和一个伟大的男朋友。 |
| 18 | Well, sort of. | 嗯,有点。 |
| 19 | See, Hector didn't have any skin in the game | 你看,赫克托在游戏里没有任何皮肤 |
| 20 | and I felt that. | 我感觉到了 |
| 21 | He danced around the very idea of marriage | 他围绕着婚姻的想法跳舞 |
| 22 | and after 12 years, we didn't even live together. | 12年后,我们甚至没有一起生活。 |
| 23 | Still, he gave me hope. | 尽管如此,他给了我希望。 |
| 24 | Well, sometimes. | 有时候 |
| 25 | More like living in a situation that had no hope | 更像是生活在没有希望的境地 |
| 26 | just felt normal. | 只是觉得正常。 |
| 27 | Now don't get me wrong. | 别误会我 |
| 28 | I stayed because Hector was a good looking, smart, | 我留下来是因为赫克托长得漂亮 聪明 |
| 29 | reliable, and sensitive guy who cared. | 可靠和敏感的人谁在乎。 |
| 30 | And while our relationship wasn't perfect, | 虽然我们的关系并不完美 |
| 31 | it worked in theory. | 理论上是可行的 |
| 32 | Until a wake up call from a friend changed everything. | 直到一个朋友的叫醒改变了一切 |
| 33 | So my realtor friend called to tell me about a condo | 所以我的房东朋友打电话告诉我公寓的事 |
| 34 | coming up for sale in my Chicago neighborhood. | 来我的芝加哥街区卖。 |
| 35 | She knew that I was looking for Hector to commit | 她知道我在寻找赫克托 |
| 36 | and thought, well, maybe this could inspire | 想想,也许这可以激励 |
| 37 | a little forward motion. | 有点向前移动。 |
| 38 | Still, my first inclination was to say, | 但我的初衷是说 |
| 39 | we're not ready. | 我们还没准备好 |
| 40 | Not yet. | 还没 |
| 41 | That was Hector's favorite catchphrase. | 这是赫克托最喜欢的句子 |
| 42 | I would say, I wanna get married. | 我想说,我想结婚。 |
| 43 | He'd say, not yet. | 他会说,还没有。 |
| 44 | I'd say, let's live together. | 我想说 我们一起生活吧 |
| 45 | Not yet. | 还没 |
| 46 | Not yet was a hair I couldn't get out of my eye | 还不是一根头发,我无法走出我的眼睛 |
| 47 | and a bad song I couldn't get out of my head. | 和一首不好的歌 我无法走出我的脑海。 |
| 48 | So you could imagine my surprise when he said sure | 所以你可以想象我的惊喜 当他说肯定 |
| 49 | to meeting me at the condo at noon. | 中午在公寓见我 |
| 50 | Now I arrived early and eager, but Hector, | 现在,我早到 热切,但赫克托, |
| 51 | well that was another story. | 那是另一个故事。 |
| 52 | 12.15 came, 12.30, 12.45, one o'clock, no Hector. | 12点15分,12点30分,12点45分,没有赫克托 |
| 53 | Eventually he called, something has come up, | 最后,他打电话来, 有事发生, |
| 54 | so we agreed to reconvene at three. | 所以我们同意三点再开会 |
| 55 | 但Hector又没出场了 | |
| 56 | It was in that moment that I decided, | 那一刻我决定 |
| 57 | after 12 years, it was time to let go. | 12年后,是时候放手了 |
| 58 | See, I had to let go of Hector and of the idea | 你看,我不得不放手 赫克托和这个想法 |
| 59 | of marrying him or anybody because at 41, | 嫁给他或任何人 因为41岁 |
| 60 | my options were scary. | 我的选择是可怕的。 |
| 61 | I could either stay with a man who couldn't commit | 我要么跟一个不能犯法的人呆在一起 |
| 62 | but was great on all the holidays and birthdays, | 但在所有的节日与生日,都是伟大的, |
| 63 | or I could break up with him and be alone. | 或者我可以和他分手 独自一人 |
| 64 | Not that letting go of a good man I truly loved was easy. | 我真心爱的好男人 放手不是件容易的事 |
| 65 | No, no, I had to survive the consequences of my epiphany | 不,不,我不得不度过我的觉悟的后果 |
| 66 | and that's when the pain stage kicked in. | 痛苦的舞台就从这开始 |
| 67 | You and Hector won't be together forever. | 你和赫克托不会永远在一起 |
| 68 | You won't be his person. | 你不会是他的人。 |
| 69 | In fact, he'll probably meet somebody else fast, | 事实上,他可能很快会遇见别人 |
| 70 | marry her, and she'll be his person. | 娶她,她会是他的人。 |
| 71 | And then you're gonna have to live with the fact | 然后,你将不得不忍受的事实 |
| 72 | that you made a mistake. | 你犯了一个错误。 |
| 73 | I ugly cried, ate a lot of pizza, | 我哭了,吃了很多披萨, |
| 74 | listened to a lot of Joni Mitchell, | 听了很多乔尼・米切尔, |
| 75 | and then when I couldn't rub my eyes anymore | 然后当我再也不能擦眼睛时 |
| 76 | without a hitting bone, or imagine Hector | 或想象一下赫克托 |
| 77 | in a wedding photo with another woman, | 在与另一个女人的结婚照片中 |
| 78 | probably in a size six dress, I brushed myself off. | 可能穿着六号裙子,我把自己刷下来了 |
| 79 | See, I let go of the fear that I would grow old | 你看,我放下了恐惧 我会变老 |
| 80 | and die alone, that my friends would use me | 独自死去,我的朋友会利用我 |
| 81 | as a cautionary tale, that it was too late for me. | 作为一个提醒性的故事, 对我来说已经太晚了。 |
| 82 | No, no, in that moment, I had to finally admit | 不 不 那一刻 我不得不承认 |
| 83 | what I really wanted, which was more. | 我真正想要的,这是更多的。 |
| 84 | You see, Hector not showing up, that was a gift | 你看,赫克托没有出现, 这是一个礼物 |
| 85 | in that it gave me my freedom because, let's face it, | 因为它给了我自由 因为,让我们面对它, |
| 86 | I've been chasing that ball for 12 years. | 我追那个球12年了 |
| 87 | No, no, it was time to move on, even if I risked rejection. | 不,不,是时候继续前进, 即使我冒着被拒绝的风险。 |
| 88 | So I made a plan, one that got clearer with every step. | 所以我做了一个计划,一个越来越清晰的一步。 |
| 89 | Of course, Hector had an excuse for his no-show, | 当然,赫克托有一个借口 他的不亮, |
| 90 | but by then, it didn't matter. | 但那时,这不重要。 |
| 91 | I told him it was over. | 我告诉他一切都结束了。 |
| 92 | I quit my job, I hugged my friends, | 我辞了工作,拥抱我的朋友, |
| 93 | I sold my beautiful condo in the same neighborhood | 我在同一个街区卖了我的漂亮的公寓 |
| 94 | that delivered me that life-changing epiphany. | 让我有了改变生命的觉悟 |
| 95 | I let go of everything to start a whole new life | 我放弃一切开始全新的生活 |
| 96 | in New Hope, Pennsylvania. | 在宾夕法尼亚州新希望 |
| 97 | To which he said, don't go, we'll get married. | 他说,不要去,我们会结婚的。 |
| 98 | To which I said, you had 12 years. | 我说的,你有12年。 |
| 99 | To which he said, I'll come visit. | 他说,我会来看你。 |
| 100 | To which I said, not yet. | 我说的,还没有。 |
| 101 | Was it hard? | 很难吗? |
| 102 | Oh, you bet. | 当然 |
| 103 | Was it worth it? | 值得吗? |
| 104 | Within a year of leaving, I met my husband, Dan, online. | 在离开一年之内,我遇到了我丈夫丹,在网上。 |
| 105 | I knew when he showed up for our first date | 我知道当他出现 我们的第一次约会 |
| 106 | in the most wrinkled shirt I have ever seen, | 穿着我见过的最皱纹的衬衫 |
| 107 | with a rain hat to keep me dry | 戴着雨帽让我干 |
| 108 | walking from the restaurant to the car, | 从餐厅走到汽车, |
| 109 | that this was my guy. | 这是我的人。 |
| 110 | You see, umbrellas were for people who wanted distance. | 你看,雨伞是给想要距离的人用的。 |
| 111 | Too heavy a wind, you know, turned them inside out, | 太重的风,你知道的, 把他们的内心, |
| 112 | and even the best of them only lasted so long. | 即使是最好的也只持续了这么久 |
| 113 | But a rain hat? | 但是一个雨帽? |
| 114 | You know, the kind with the string | 你知道,那种有绳子的 |
| 115 | that you tie under your chin that stays on. | 在你的下巴下绑着,保持。 |
| 116 | Now that's personal. | 这是私人恩怨 |
| 117 | And after four dates, it turned to love. | 及四约后转相爱. |
| 118 | Finally, I understood why I had to wait so long. | 最后,我知道为什么我必须等这么久。 |
| 119 | Dan was handsome and wise and soulful and kind, | 丹英俊睿智 充满灵魂 善良 |
| 120 | and he made me feel like I could do and be anything. | 他让我觉得自己可以做任何事 |
| 121 | We could. | 我们可以 |
| 122 | And we got married a year later. | 我们结婚一年后。 |
| 123 | When I turned 50, Hector died of cancer. | 我50岁时,赫克托死于癌症 |
| 124 | And as you can imagine, I grieved for a very long time. | 正如你能想象的,我伤心了很久 |
| 125 | But his death reaffirmed for me | 但他的死让我再次确认 |
| 126 | the promise I made to myself when I was 41, | 我41岁时对自己的承诺 |
| 127 | which that I would never take time for granted again. | 我再也不会浪费时间了 |
| 128 | Instead, I would use it to let go, | 相反,我会用它来放手, |
| 129 | to create space for the things I really wanted | 为我真正想要的东西创造空间 |
| 130 | and for what mattered most. | 和最重要的东西。 |
| 131 | Here are five ways to let go I know work | 这里有五种方法可以放手 我知道工作 |
| 132 | because I still use them every single day. | 因为我仍然每天使用它们。 |
| 133 | One, let go of taking things personally. | 一,放手,把事情拿个人。 |
| 134 | Now I spent a lot of time wondering | 现在我花了很多时间想 |
| 135 | why Hector didn't love me enough to marry me | 为什么赫克托不爱我 不足以嫁给我 |
| 136 | until I realized that his inability to commit | 直到我意识到他不能犯罪 |
| 137 | had less to do with me | 与我无关 |
| 138 | and more to do with his duty to his family. | 更多是和他对家人的责任有关 |
| 139 | Now I'm not saying that wasn't a hard pill to swallow, | 我不是说那药不难吞 |
| 140 | but there was a lot of peace in knowing | 但知道很多平静 |
| 141 | that it was his issue and not some defect in me. | 这是他的问题,而不是我的一些缺陷。 |
| 142 | If people aren't giving you what you want | 如果别人不给你你想要的 |
| 143 | or if they're just behaving badly, | 或者如果他们只是表现不好, |
| 144 | most times that's their problem, not yours. | 大部分时候都是他们的问题 不是你的问题 |
| 145 | Two, let go of what other people think. | 二,放开别人的想法. |
| 146 | So after my husband and I dated for a couple months, | 我和我丈夫约会几个月后 |
| 147 | I took him home to meet my parents. | 我带他回家见我父母 |
| 148 | He's very good looking, my mother said. | 我妈妈说,他长得很帅 |
| 149 | Ted Bundy长得很漂亮 | |
| 150 | Now I could have let this influence my actions, | 我本可以让这一切影响我的行动 |
| 151 | could have let my imagination run wild | 可能让我的想象力变得疯狂 |
| 152 | with thoughts of my new beau stabbing me while I slept, | 想到我睡着时被新美人刺伤 |
| 153 | but instead I just chalked it up to my mother. | 但是,我只是粉笔 对我的母亲。 |
| 154 | There is a rule in business that states | 做生意有一条规矩 |
| 155 | whenever you're putting something out there, | 当你放的东西在那里, |
| 156 | 10% of people will hate it, 80% will be indifferent | 10%的人会讨厌它,80%的人会漠不关心 |
| 157 | and 10% will be your raving fans. | 10%将是你的狂妄粉丝。 |
| 158 | And raving fans are awesome, | 狂妄的粉丝是真棒, |
| 159 | but if somebody's not a raving fan, let that be okay too. | 但如果有人不是狂言狂 也没关系 |
| 160 | Three, let go of trying to be something you're not. | 三,放手,试着成为你没有的东西。 |
| 161 | Now I have this crazy big personality | 现在我有一个疯狂的大个性 |
| 162 | that I actually call the big. | 其实我称之为大。 |
| 163 | Some people really like the big. | 有些人真的很喜欢大。 |
| 164 | Some people are fascinated by it, | 有些人对此很着迷 |
| 165 | kind of the way they're fascinated by jugglers. | 那种方式 他们迷上 杂耍者。 |
| 166 | And others just run away, but it's who I am. | 而其他人只是逃跑了, 但我是谁。 |
| 167 | I have tried to turn down the current on the big, | 我试图把电流在大, |
| 168 | but hard as I try, there it is. | 但尽管我努力了,它在那里。 |
| 169 | There are some things we just can't change about ourselves | 有些事情我们无法改变自己 |
| 170 | and that's a good thing. | 这是件好事 |
| 171 | Four, let go of the need to be perfect. | 四,放开完善的需要. |
| 172 | Many years ago, I wrote a column for Shape Magazine | 多年前,我为《变形杂志》写了一篇专栏 |
| 173 | and I got a lot of mail from readers, | 我从读者那里收到很多邮件 |
| 174 | including a very sad letter from this teenage girl | 包括这个十几岁女孩写的信 |
| 175 | asking for my advice on how to improve herself | 问我如何改善自己 |
| 176 | after her absolutely horrid boyfriend had her stripped down | 在她那讨厌的男朋友把她剥光后 |
| 177 | so he could critique her body. | 这样他就可以批评她的身体。 |
| 178 | This is a true story. | 这是一个真实的故事。 |
| 179 | I said dump him immediately | 我说马上把他丢掉 |
| 180 | and never let anybody make you feel bad | 永远不要让任何人让你难过 |
| 181 | about yourself again. | 关于你再次。 |
| 182 | But we all know that feeding the need for perfection | 但我们都知道 满足完美的需求 |
| 183 | is not just about our weight. | 不只是我们的体重。 |
| 184 | It's also about keeping the house clean | 也是为了保持房子干净 |
| 185 | and the dogs groomed and the kids healthy | 养狗和孩子健康 |
| 186 | and the bosses happy and all the balls in the air. | 和老板快乐 和所有的球在空中。 |
| 187 | It's even about keeping our youth intact. | 甚至是为了让我们的青春保持完整 |
| 188 | And yet, who wants to be friends with someone who's perfect? | 然而,谁想成为朋友 与一个完美的人? |
| 189 | Think about that. | 考虑一下 |
| 190 | And lastly, five, my favorite, | 最后,五,我最喜欢的, |
| 191 | let go of not yet. | 还不放手 |
| 192 | You know, when I left Chicago, my life was pretty good. | 你知道,当我离开芝加哥,我的生活是相当不错的。 |
| 193 | It just wasn't good enough. | 只是不够好。 |
| 194 | If there's something you wanna do, | 如果你想做点什么 |
| 195 | make a plan and act, but don't wait. | 制定计划并采取行动,但不要等待。 |
| 196 | I still grieve for Hector, you know, | 我仍然为赫克托难过,你知道, |
| 197 | it just comes in waves now. | 它只是波浪来了。 |
| 198 | But it's the phone call I can't make | 但我不能打这个电话 |
| 199 | that reminds me to make every day count. | 提醒我每天都在数 |
| 200 | And I encourage you all to do the same. | 我鼓励你们都这样做。 |
| 201 | Whatever that is, I say, let go for it. | 不管那是什么,我说,放手 |
| 202 | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
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