（中英附文稿）为什么你总在讨好、警觉、证明自己？答案可能藏在
字幕摘录
| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| 0:00 | Trauma is not what happened to you. | 创伤不是发生在你身上的 |
| 0:02 | It's what happened inside of you as a result of what happened to you. | 即因缘生故身内所生. |
| 0:05 | Physical abuse, sexual abuse, emotional abuse of children, neglect, a parent being addicted, a parent dying, a parent being jailed, poverty or racism. | 身体虐待、性虐待、对儿童的情感虐待、忽视、父母上瘾、父母死亡、父母被监禁、贫困或种族主义。 |
| 0:16 | These are big traumatic events that can wound kids. | 这些是能伤害孩子的创伤事件 |
| 0:19 | I had a wildly traumatic birth. | 我生了一个很痛苦的小孩 |
| 0:23 | I got rushed to emergency surgery and lost two and a half liters of blood. | 我被急切的手术 并失去了两升半的血。 |
| 0:28 | And they sent Sawyer home with Chris. | 他们把索伊尔和克里斯送回家 |
| 0:31 | They kept me in the hospital and by the time I went home, I had severe postpartum depression. | 他们把我关在医院里 当我回家时 我产后有严重的抑郁症 |
| 0:37 | She's recently gone into therapy and one of her visions is a vision that she has where she's in her crib and she really wants me to come. | 她最近开始接受治疗 她的一个幻觉是 她的婴儿床里有她的幻觉 她真的希望我来 |
| 0:52 | And it's my husband and then it's my mother and then it's my mother-in-law and then it's my friend Joanie that would sit with me while Chris went to work and I never came. | 是我的丈夫,然后是我妈妈,然后是我的婆婆, 然后是我的朋友乔妮,会坐在我身边 克里斯去工作,我从来没有来。 |
展开字幕全文（116 条）
| 序号 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Trauma is not what happened to you. | 创伤不是发生在你身上的 |
| 2 | It's what happened inside of you as a result of what happened to you. | 即因缘生故身内所生. |
| 3 | Physical abuse, sexual abuse, emotional abuse of children, neglect, a parent being addicted, a parent dying, a parent being jailed, poverty or racism. | 身体虐待、性虐待、对儿童的情感虐待、忽视、父母上瘾、父母死亡、父母被监禁、贫困或种族主义。 |
| 4 | These are big traumatic events that can wound kids. | 这些是能伤害孩子的创伤事件 |
| 5 | I had a wildly traumatic birth. | 我生了一个很痛苦的小孩 |
| 6 | I got rushed to emergency surgery and lost two and a half liters of blood. | 我被急切的手术 并失去了两升半的血。 |
| 7 | And they sent Sawyer home with Chris. | 他们把索伊尔和克里斯送回家 |
| 8 | They kept me in the hospital and by the time I went home, I had severe postpartum depression. | 他们把我关在医院里 当我回家时 我产后有严重的抑郁症 |
| 9 | She's recently gone into therapy and one of her visions is a vision that she has where she's in her crib and she really wants me to come. | 她最近开始接受治疗 她的一个幻觉是 她的婴儿床里有她的幻觉 她真的希望我来 |
| 10 | And it's my husband and then it's my mother and then it's my mother-in-law and then it's my friend Joanie that would sit with me while Chris went to work and I never came. | 是我的丈夫,然后是我妈妈,然后是我的婆婆, 然后是我的朋友乔妮,会坐在我身边 克里斯去工作,我从来没有来。 |
| 11 | That's one of the impacts of trauma is that shame based view of the self, that people start blaming themselves. | 创伤的影响之一是 自我的耻辱感 人们开始责怪自己 |
| 12 | That somehow you invited it or deserved it or you didn't fight back hard enough. | 不知何故你邀请了它 或值得它 或者你没有努力反击。 |
| 13 | The healing needs to begin with some compassionate curiosity towards the self, not why. | 治疗需要从对自我的同情心开始,而不是为什么。 |
| 14 | It's a totally different conversation. | 这是一个完全不同的对话。 |
| 15 | It makes me sad that I didn't know this sooner, but I feel very grateful for your work. | 这让我很难过,我不知道这个早, 但我感到非常感激你的工作。 |
| 16 | Hey, it's your friend Mel. | 嘿,这是你的朋友梅尔。 |
| 17 | I am so thrilled that you're here with me. | 我很高兴你能和我一起来 |
| 18 | It is always an honor to be able to spend time together with you. | 与你共度时光总是我的荣幸 |
| 19 | If you're brand new, welcome to the Mel Robbins podcast and I know because you chose to listen to this episode that you're the type of person who values your time | 如果你是全新的 欢迎来到Mel Robbins播客 我知道 因为你选择听这集 |
| 20 | and you're also interested in learning about ways that you can improve your life. | 你对学习如何改善生活也很感兴趣。 |
| 21 | I love that. | 我喜欢 |
| 22 | I love that you're listening to this episode and you want to know what else I love. | 我喜欢你听这集 你想知道我还爱什么 |
| 23 | I love that you and I are going to get to spend time learning from the extraordinary Dr. Gabor Mate. | 我喜欢你和我去 花时间学习 从卓越的加博·马特博士。 |
| 24 | Dr. Mate is a world renowned physician and bestselling author whose work dives deep into childhood development | Mate博士是一位世界知名医生和畅销书作家,其工作深入儿童发展 |
| 25 | and the impact of trauma on how it shapes your mental and physical health over your lifetime. | 以及创伤的影响 如何塑造你一生的身心健康。 |
| 26 | Dr. Mate has completely transformed how the world sees, talks about and understands trauma | Mate博士彻底改变了世界的观感, 谈论和理解创伤 |
| 27 | and he has absolutely had that impact on me and it's been life changing. | 他对我产生了这种影响 生活一直在改变 |
| 28 | I promise you this episode is going to shift the way you see everything, how you show up for yourself, | 我向你保证,这集会改变你看待一切的方式, 你如何为自己出现, |
| 29 | how you connect with the people you love and why you experience life the way that you do. | 你如何与你所爱的人联系 和为什么你体验生活的方式。 |
| 30 | It's going to help you understand why coping has become your default and how you can move toward true healing. | 它会帮助你理解为什么 应对成为你的默认 以及如何走向真正的治愈。 |
| 31 | I am so excited for both you and me so please, please, please help me welcome the extraordinary Dr. Gabor Mate to the Mel Robbins podcast. | 我为你和我感到兴奋 所以,请,请, 请帮我欢迎 杰出的Gabor Mate博士 到梅尔・罗宾斯播客。 |
| 32 | Before we dive in Gabor, I would love to have you speak directly to the person who's listening to us | 在我们潜入加博之前 我希望你能直接和听我们说话的人说话 |
| 33 | and just share with them what they might expect to experience if they really take to heart | 和他们分享他们可能希望 经历,如果他们真的心 |
| 34 | what you're about to teach us and share with us today. | 你今天要教给我们什么 和我们分享 |
| 35 | Well, a lot of people are facing challenges, a lot of people are very hard on themselves, | 很多人正面临挑战 很多人对自己很艰难 |
| 36 | a lot of people think there's something wrong with them. | 很多人认为他们有问题 |
| 37 | My fundamental understanding and what I've learned is that underneath there's nothing wrong with anybody, | 我的基本理解和我所学到的 是,在下面 没有错的人, |
| 38 | that everything you're dealing with came along for a reason. | 你所处理的一切都是有原因的 |
| 39 | There were adaptations or there were responses to difficult situations | 有适应措施或应对困难情况 |
| 40 | and the more you can understand where your issues came from | 你越能理解你的问题来自何方 |
| 41 | and even when you're negative self-view and the shame and the self-loathing and the self-criticism and the perfectionism | 即使你消极的自我观 羞耻的自我厌恶 自我批评和完美 |
| 42 | that you experience, that there were actually responses to some kind of life experience | 你经历, 有一些实际上的反应 一些生活经验 |
| 43 | and that fundamentally there was and there is nothing wrong with you and those things can be looked at | 根本上说,你没有错 这些东西可以看 |
| 44 | and you can understand them and you can transform that and really become yourself, who you are. | 你可以理解他们 你可以改变他们 真正成为你自己,你是谁。 |
| 45 | That's available to you. | 这是你可用的。 |
| 46 | It's available to everybody. | 人人都有这个机会 |
| 47 | So nobody's damaged goods. | 所以没有人损坏货物 |
| 48 | I love that. | 我喜欢 |
| 49 | No one is damaged goods. | 没有人是受损货物。 |
| 50 | We are going to unpack this in this conversation at length, but I think it might be helpful for someone | 我们准备在这场谈话中详细解析一下, 但我认为这可能会对某人有所帮助 |
| 51 | who is not familiar with your work if we could go back. | 他不熟悉你的工作 如果我们可以回去。 |
| 52 | Sure. | 当然 |
| 53 | And can you share, if we go all the way back to your childhood, just what was happening in your life | 你能分享,如果我们一路回到你的童年, 就像你生活中发生的一切 |
| 54 | and in particular how finding your mother's journal really impacted you and sent you in a certain direction | 特别是找到你妈妈的日记 如何真正影响你 把你送到某个方向 |
| 55 | in terms of your life's work? | 就你毕生的工作而言? |
| 56 | Well, so I was born 80 years ago this year in Budapest, Hungary, January 1944, | 我80年前出生于匈牙利布达佩斯 1944年1月 |
| 57 | to Jewish parents whose lives were already impacted by the Second World War. | 给已经受到第二次世界大战影响的犹太父母。 |
| 58 | My father was in forced labor with the Hungarian army. | 我父亲和匈牙利军队一起被强迫劳动 |
| 59 | A Jewish man had to go into forced labor when I was born, so he wasn't there when I was born. | 我出生的时候,一个犹太男人不得不被迫劳动,所以我出生的时候他不在那里. |
| 60 | In March, the German army occupied Hungary, and then the genocide, the Holocaust, | 3月,德国军队占领了匈牙利, 然后是种族灭绝,大屠杀, |
| 61 | that had obliterated the Jewish population of Eastern Europe, but not yet that of Hungary, | 消灭了东欧的犹太人口, 但尚未消灭匈牙利的犹太人口, |
| 62 | and within three months, between March and June, they murdered half a million Jews, | 在3月到6月的三个月内 他们谋杀了50万犹太人 |
| 63 | including my grandparents, and we came very close to being deported ourselves, my mother and I. | 包括我的祖父母, 我们非常接近 被驱逐出境自己, 我的母亲和我。 |
| 64 | So I spent the first year of my life under Nazi occupation. | 所以我在纳粹占领下度过了第一年 |
| 65 | My mother was terrorized and grief-struck. | 我妈妈被吓坏了 悲痛不堪 |
| 66 | I didn't know if my father was dead or alive for most of that year. | 我不知道我父亲在那一年的大部分时间里 是死是活 |
| 67 | And then when I was 11 months of age, to save my life, | 然后当我11个月大的时候 为了救我的命 |
| 68 | my mother gave me to a complete stranger, a Christian woman in the street, | 我的母亲给了我一个完全陌生的, 一个基督徒的女人在街上, |
| 69 | and she conveyed me to some relatives living in relative safety and hiding. | 她把我转告给一些相对安全 躲藏的亲戚 |
| 70 | I didn't see her for five or six weeks, and all this is recorded in the journal that she kept. | 我五六个星期没见到她 这一切记录在她保存的日记里 |
| 71 | I didn't discover the journal. | 我没有发现日记。 |
| 72 | I always had her journal, | 我一直有她的日记, |
| 73 | but for many years when I tried to read it, I'd get dizzy. | 但多年来,当我试图读它, 我会头晕。 |
| 74 | It's almost like something in me knew that this is too painful for me to handle. | 好像我心里有什么东西知道 这对我来说太痛苦了 |
| 75 | So it wasn't until some years ago that my mother is still alive, | 所以直到几年前 我妈妈才还活着 |
| 76 | when I asked her to actually read the journal to me so I could really read what happened, | 当我要求她真正读 日记给我,这样我就可以真正读 发生了什么事, |
| 77 | and she wrote in the journal that I'm writing this because if my son grows up, | 她在日记上写道,我写这个 因为如果我的儿子长大了, |
| 78 | I want him to know what happened. | 我要他知道发生了什么 |
| 79 | So that's in a nutshell, but those events left a deep imprint in my nervous system, | 简言之,但那些事件 在我的神经系统留下了深刻的印记, |
| 80 | in my body, in my psyche. | 在我的身体,在我的心灵。 |
| 81 | And those traumatic events created a lot of psychological wounds in me | 这些创伤事件 造成了我许多心理创伤 |
| 82 | that took me some years to even recognize, let alone to heal. | 这花了我几年时间 甚至承认, 更不要说治愈。 |
| 83 | And it wasn't until I was into late adulthood or middle age that I really began to deal with it | 直到我成年或中年才真正开始处理 |
| 84 | and to recognize the subsequent impacts that then I passed on to my kids without meaning to, | 并承认后续的影响 然后我传递给我的孩子 没有意义, |
| 85 | but just for the lack of awareness. | 但只是因为缺乏意识。 |
| 86 | So that's it in a nutshell. | 简而言之,就是这样。 |
| 87 | Well, that's a big nutshell. | 嗯,这是一个很大的简言之。 |
| 88 | Yeah. | 对 |
| 89 | Wow. | 珃 |
| 90 | So how did those experiences in your life really start to shape your work? | 你生活中的这些经历 是如何真正开始塑造你的工作的? |
| 91 | How did you start doing what you do today? | 你怎么开始做你今天做的事的? |
| 92 | Well, before it shaped my work, it shaped me and how I functioned in the world | 在它塑造我的作品之前 它塑造了我和我在世界上的功能 |
| 93 | or how I dysfunctioned in the world in so many ways. | 或我是如何在世界上 功能障碍如此之多。 |
| 94 | So it's when I began to experience challenges in my life. | 所以当我开始经历 生活中的挑战。 |
| 95 | I was a successful doctor in my early 40s, respected, but depressed and unhappy. | 我40多岁时是一位成功的医生,受人尊敬,但沮丧和不快乐. |
| 96 | I was married to the love of my life and we had a very strained conflictual marriage. | 我嫁给了我一生的爱 我们的婚姻很紧张 |
| 97 | And my kids had issues and some of them were afraid of me because I was very unpredictable. | 我的孩子有问题,他们中有些人害怕我 因为我很不可预测。 |
| 98 | So all those issues then made me start looking for some answers. | 所以所有这些问题让我开始寻找一些答案。 |
| 99 | So the work began by having to look at myself and trying to understand the sources of my behaviors. | 因此,这部作品首先需要审视自己,并试图了解我行为的根源. |
| 100 | And that coincided with me noticing things as a physician in my medical practice. | 这恰好与我在医学实践中 以医生身份注意到的事情相吻合。 |
| 101 | And that's how I began to look at childhood development, the impacts of early years, | 这就是我如何看待儿童发展, 早期的影响, |
| 102 | the concept of trauma and what that represented and its impacts on adult or childhood, | 心理创伤的概念以及它代表什么及其对成人或儿童的影响, |
| 103 | mental health, physical illness and so on. | 精神卫生,身体疾病等. |
| 104 | So both my personal experience and my professional work kind of led me in this direction of exploration. | 因此,我的个人经历和专业工作 都引导我走向这个探索方向。 |
| 105 | And what have you learned about how childhood experiences shape who we become as adults? | 你学到了什么童年经历 如何塑造我们成年后的样子? |
| 106 | They're largely decisive and this begins even before birth. | 他们很大程度上是决定性的,这甚至在出生前就开始了. |
| 107 | So already the emotional states of the mother while carrying the baby will affect the child's brain development. | 因此,母亲在怀胎时的情绪状态已经会影响孩子的大脑发育. |
| 108 | I just want to make sure that the person that's with us in this conversation really gets this | 我只是想确保 和我们谈话的人真的得到这个 |
| 109 | because I didn't first learn that your emotional state and your physical state when you're carrying the child | 因为我没有第一次学会 你的情绪状态和身体状态 当你怀孩子 |
| 110 | impacts the nervous system and development of the human being inside you. | 影响你体内的神经系统 和人类的发育 |
| 111 | And it makes sense. | 则有理矣. |
| 112 | But can you explain more about that? | 但你能多解释一下吗? |
| 113 | Because this is an idea that was brand new to me just a couple of years ago. | 因为这是几年前我发现的新想法 |
| 114 | Sure. | 当然 |
| 115 | What we have to nail down first is we're not blaming mothers here. | 我们首先要解决的是 我们没有责怪母亲 |
| 116 | They do their best. | 他们尽力了 |
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