（中英附文稿）为什么一点批评就让你崩溃？精神科医生拆解大脑警
字幕摘录
| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| 0:00 | There's so many things that fragment focus. | 有很多东西能分散注意力 |
| 0:02 | Trauma can fragment focus. | 创伤可以分散注意力。 |
| 0:03 | PTSD, anxiety can fragment focus. | 创伤后精神紧张症 焦虑症会分散注意力 |
| 0:05 | So many things that impact focus, impact behavior. | 影响焦点、影响行为的许多事情。 |
| 0:08 | But that's not truly ADHD. | 但这不是真正的ADHD。 |
| 0:11 | What would you say is typically the root cause | 你会说什么是典型的根源 |
| 0:14 | 一个人有ADHD? | |
| 0:15 | Genetics. | 遗传学. |
| 0:16 | It's not trauma? | 这不是创伤? |
| 0:18 | Really? | 真的吗? |
展开字幕全文（2066 条）
| 序号 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | There's so many things that fragment focus. | 有很多东西能分散注意力 |
| 2 | Trauma can fragment focus. | 创伤可以分散注意力。 |
| 3 | PTSD, anxiety can fragment focus. | 创伤后精神紧张症 焦虑症会分散注意力 |
| 4 | So many things that impact focus, impact behavior. | 影响焦点、影响行为的许多事情。 |
| 5 | But that's not truly ADHD. | 但这不是真正的ADHD。 |
| 6 | What would you say is typically the root cause | 你会说什么是典型的根源 |
| 7 | 一个人有ADHD? | |
| 8 | Genetics. | 遗传学. |
| 9 | It's not trauma? | 这不是创伤? |
| 10 | Really? | 真的吗? |
| 11 | No. | 没有 |
| 12 | She's a board-certified psychiatrist, | 她是一个董事会认证的心理医生, |
| 13 | bestselling author, and ADHD specialist | 畅销作者和ADHD专家 |
| 14 | who was diagnosed with ADHD herself. | 她自己被诊断为ADHD |
| 15 | Please welcome Dr. Sasha Hamdani. | 欢迎萨沙·哈姆达尼博士 |
| 16 | You can't observe emotional regulation. | 你不能观察情绪调节。 |
| 17 | You can't observe these kind of difficulties | 你不能看到这种困难 |
| 18 | and subtleties that are happening internally. | 以及内部发生的微妙之处。 |
| 19 | We have this entire world of medication. | 我们拥有这世界的药物。 |
| 20 | Like if you have an ADHD diagnosis, | 就像你有ADHD诊断 |
| 21 | you don't necessarily have to be on one of those medications. | 你不必服用这些药物之一。 |
| 22 | These kids almost seemed like they got worse, | 这些孩子好像越来越糟了 |
| 23 | or it was just like it didn't seem like it helped them. | 或者它就像它 似乎没有帮助他们。 |
| 24 | Why are drugs typically the first thing | 为什么药物是典型的第一件事 |
| 25 | that most doctors or primary individuals prescribe | 大多数医生或初级医生开的处方 |
| 26 | to someone when they diagnose them with ADHD? | 当他们用ADHD诊断他们时,给别人? |
| 27 | I think when... | 我想当... |
| 28 | Your experience as a doctor around ADHD. | 你在ADHD身边当医生的经验 |
| 29 | First off, what is the difference between ADHD and ADD? | 首先,ADHD和ADD有什么区别? |
| 30 | And what are the main, I guess, flags | 主要的是什么,我想,旗帜 |
| 31 | to know if you are undiagnosed with one of those? | 想知道你有没有被诊断出来吗? |
| 32 | Yeah. | 对 |
| 33 | Okay. | 摆 |
| 34 | So I'm going to blow your mind right now. | 所以我现在要打爆你的心 |
| 35 | ADD和ADHD一样 | |
| 36 | Same thing. | 同样的事情。 |
| 37 | It's just ADD is an outdated term. | 这只是一个过时的术语。 |
| 38 | So previously, ADD was really classified | 所以以前,ADD是真正保密的 |
| 39 | as more like an inattentive presentation. | 更像是无动于衷的演讲 |
| 40 | And now, ADHD is broken into three categories, | 现在,ADHD被分为三类, |
| 41 | inattentive, hyperactive, and combined. | 无动于衷,过度活动,和结合。 |
| 42 | Inattentive being not, meaning not present? | 无意,意思是不在场? |
| 43 | What does that mean? | 这是什么意思? |
| 44 | Difficulty with initiating tasks, | 难以启动任务, |
| 45 | difficulty with completing tasks, | 任务完成困难, |
| 46 | difficulty with forgetfulness and organization. | 忘却和组织的难度。 |
| 47 | Think about the daydreamer. | 思惟白日梦者. |
| 48 | That's me, yeah. | 这就是我,是的。 |
| 49 | And then hyperactive, | 然后超活跃, |
| 50 | think about physically and verbally impulsive. | 考虑身体和语言的冲动. |
| 51 | Difficult staying in your seat. | 很难待在座位上。 |
| 52 | You have a hard time. | 你很难过 |
| 53 | Okay, so that- | 好吧,这样... |
| 54 | I used to shake my knees constantly in school, | 我以前经常在学校摇膝 |
| 55 | just like all day. | 就像一整天一样 |
| 56 | Just couldn't sit still. | 只是不能静坐。 |
| 57 | I kind of have that now, | 我有点像现在, |
| 58 | and that's why I'm crossing my legs | 这就是为什么我跨我的腿 |
| 59 | and smushing it down. | 并击落它。 |
| 60 | Yeah. | 对 |
| 61 | So- | 所以说... |
| 62 | Focusing, yes. | 专注,是的。 |
| 63 | So, and then combined is obviously the combination of both. | 所以,然后结合 显然是两者的结合。 |
| 64 | And so ADD, what it was previously called, | 因此,ADD, 它以前叫, |
| 65 | is really more aligned with ADHD inattentive type. | 更符合ADHD隐性型。 |
| 66 | So third, what's the third aspect of ADHD? | 第三,ADHD的第三个方面是什么? |
| 67 | Combined. | 合起来 |
| 68 | It's partially inattentive. | 其部分不动. |
| 69 | It's hard for you to focus | 你很难集中精神 |
| 70 | and you're verbally and physically compulsive. | 你说话和身体强迫。 |
| 71 | Is that what it would be? | 是这样吗? |
| 72 | Impulsive. | 冲气. |
| 73 | Interesting, okay. | 有意思,好吗? |
| 74 | And so those would be kind of signs | 所以这些是种迹象 |
| 75 | to see if you do this frequently, | 看看你是否经常这样做, |
| 76 | you might have that. | 你也许有。 |
| 77 | Is that correct? | 是吗? |
| 78 | And I love how you said might, | 我喜欢你说的也许 |
| 79 | because equally important to diagnosing in ADHD | 因为诊断ADHD同样重要 |
| 80 | is diagnosing out everything else. | 正在诊断其他一切 |
| 81 | That could be fragmenting focus, | 这可能会分散重点 |
| 82 | which are a lot of things. | 这是很多事情。 |
| 83 | Yeah, or just distracted or whatever, yeah. | 是啊,或者只是分心或什么的,是啊。 |
| 84 | So how does someone actually get diagnosed with ADHD? | 那么,一个人怎么被诊断为ADHD? |
| 85 | There are a couple of different ways you can do it. | 有几种不同的方式你可以做到这一点。 |
| 86 | You can do like computer or neurological evaluation | 你可以做计算机或神经评估 |
| 87 | where you're doing a bunch of tests | 你正在做一系列测试 |
| 88 | and you can do it with a therapist, | 你可以用治疗师做 |
| 89 | you can do it with a primary care doctor, | 您可以与初级护理医生做到这一点, |
| 90 | you can do it with a pediatrician | 你可以用儿科医生做 |
| 91 | and they're getting information from you | 他们从你那里得到信息 |
| 92 | if they're evaluating a child | 如果他们正在评估一个孩子 |
| 93 | from maybe teachers and from parents. | 也许是老师和家长的 |
| 94 | If you see a psychiatrist, | 如果你看到心理医生 |
| 95 | a lot of times it's based on clinical interview. | 很多时候都是根据临床访谈进行的. |
| 96 | So you're going and you are talking about | 所以你要去,你在谈论 |
| 97 | your entire medical history, | 你的整个病史, |
| 98 | you're talking about your entire psychiatric history, | 你在谈论你的整个精神病史, |
| 99 | you're looking for these longitudinal patterns | 你在找这些纵向图案 |
| 100 | showing like your focus over time | 显示你的焦点 一段时间 |
| 101 | and how that has been impacted or changed | 如何影响或改变 |
| 102 | by different things like hormones and life events | 由不同的东西,如激素和生命事件 |
| 103 | and other things like that. | 还有其他类似的东西。 |
| 104 | And then additional like layer to all of this | 然后在这一切之外再加一层 |
| 105 | is that frankly, this is coming from my perspective, | 坦白地说,这是我的观点, |
| 106 | I think ADHD, first of all, I hate the name. | 我觉得ADHD 首先 我讨厌这个名字 |
| 107 | So Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. | 所以注意力不足 过度活动障碍。 |
| 108 | I don't think that encapsulates everything. | 我不认为它能包罗一切 |
| 109 | I think it's confusing. | 我觉得很困惑 |
| 110 | Secondly, I think that it's really | 第二,我认为这是真的 |
| 111 | instead of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, | 而不是注意力不足 过度活动障碍, |
| 112 | I think it's truly a regulation issue. | 我觉得这真的是个监管问题 |
| 113 | Emotional regulation? | 情绪调节? |
| 114 | Oh, I think attention is in there. | 哦,我想注意力是在那里。 |
| 115 | I think motivation is in there. | 我认为有动机在那里。 |
| 116 | I think energy is in there | 我觉得能量就在里面 |
| 117 | and I definitely think emotion is in there. | 我肯定觉得情感就在里面 |
| 118 | And so I remember being in middle school, | 所以我记得在中学, |
| 119 | elementary school and there being a few kids | 小学还有几个孩子 |
| 120 | who were like they had ADD, right? | 谁像他们有ADD,对不对? |
| 121 | Back in the day. | 昔时. |
| 122 | We all know that. | 我们都知道这一点。 |
| 123 | In the 80s and 90s growing up, right? | 在80年代和90年代长大,对不对? |
| 124 | Yeah. | 对 |
| 125 | And hearing that they were on drugs, right? | 听说他们嗑药了 对吧? |
| 126 | Or whatever it was, Ritalin, Adderall or something? | 不管是什么 丽塔林 阿德罗什么的 |
| 127 | Or Ritalin, Adderall, all these things, right? | 或者利塔林,阿黛尔,所有这些事情,对不对? |
| 128 | And it didn't seem like it helped. | 似乎没什么用 |
| 129 | Like these kids almost seemed like they got worse | 好像这些孩子好像越来越糟了 |
| 130 | or it was just like it didn't seem like it helped them. | 或者它就像它 似乎没有帮助他们。 |
| 131 | Why are drugs typically the first thing | 为什么药物是典型的第一件事 |
| 132 | that most, I guess, doctors or primary care individuals | 大部分,我想,医生或初级保健人员 |
| 133 | prescribe to someone when they diagnose them with ADHD? | 当别人用ADHD诊断时 给别人开处方? |
| 134 | Why does it seem like that? | 为什么看起来是这样? |
| 135 | And again, maybe it's not their case, but. | 再说一遍,也许不是他们干的,但是... |
| 136 | I think when, so when a physician is evaluating you | 我想什么时候,所以当医生在评估你 |
| 137 | or when a mental health, well, yeah, | 或者当一个精神健康,嗯,是的, |
| 138 | a physician is evaluating you for ADHD and you've done, | 医生正在评估你的ADHD 而你已经做了, |
| 139 | and you've decided like we've looked at the medical history, | 你已经决定了 就像我们看病史一样 |
| 140 | we've looked at the psychiatric history, | 我们看过精神病史 |
| 141 | we've rolled things in, we've rolled things out. | 我们把东西卷进来,我们把东西卷出来。 |
| 142 | I think this ADHD. | 我觉得这个ADHD。 |
| 143 | I think the conversation really should be | 我觉得谈话真的应该 |
| 144 | about the two ways you can treat ADHD, | 关于两种方法 你可以治疗ADHD, |
| 145 | which is behavioral and like lifestyle modification | 行为和生活方式的改变 |
| 146 | and medication. | 和药物。 |
| 147 | And a lot of times it's the combination of both | 很多时候,这是两者的结合 |
| 148 | that has the best result. | 结果是最好的。 |
| 149 | But there are people that do really well | 但有些人做得很好 |
| 150 | with just behavioral management. | 只有行为管理 |
| 151 | So as a general protocol, | 因此,作为一般协议, |
| 152 | I think that initial conversation | 我认为,最初的对话 |
| 153 | where you're talking about medication | 在你谈论的药物 |
| 154 | or you're talking about potential treatment forward, | 或者你说的是潜在的治疗 |
| 155 | you should always talk about the behavioral and lifestyle, | 你应该总是谈论行为和生活方式, |
| 156 | like at its base level. | 像它的基数水平。 |
| 157 | And then you kind of figure out, now, what I will tell you | 然后,你有点想出来, 现在,我要告诉你什么 |
| 158 | is that ADHD medication and stimulant medication | 是ADHD药物和兴奋剂药物 |
| 159 | specifically can be life-changing for some people. | 具体来说,对有些人来说,可以改变生活。 |
| 160 | Like some people just have incredible benefit | 像有些人只是有不可思议的好处 |
| 161 | and it actually allows them to do the behavioral | 它实际上允许他们做 行为 |
| 162 | and lifestyle modification. | 改变生活方式 |
| 163 | But we have this entire world of medication. | 但我们有 整个世界的药物。 |
| 164 | Like if you have an ADHD diagnosis, | 就像你有ADHD诊断 |
| 165 | you don't necessarily have to be on one of those medications. | 你不必服用这些药物之一。 |
| 166 | And what would you say is typically the root cause | 你会说什么是典型的根源 |
| 167 | 一个人有ADHD? | |
| 168 | Genetics. | 遗传学. |
| 169 | Really? | 真的吗? |
| 170 | It's not trauma? | 这不是创伤? |
| 171 | No. | 没有 |
| 172 | Really? | 真的吗? |
| 173 | No. | 没有 |
| 174 | So you're saying not having an adverse childhood | 这么说你不是在说 童年没有不好 |
| 175 | where your parents are arguing and screaming | 在你父母争吵和尖叫的地方 |
| 176 | and you're feeling like you have to be hypervigilant | 你感觉你必须兴奋 |
| 177 | isn't an environmental cause | 不是环境原因 |
| 178 | of having some type of ADHD symptoms? | 是否有某种ADHD症状? |
| 179 | Now, okay. | 现在,好吧。 |
| 180 | So to say something with absolute certainty | 所以说一些绝对肯定的话 |
| 181 | is not going to be my jam because, right? | 不会是我的果酱 因为,对不对? |
| 182 | I think that maybe there's something | 我想也许有东西 |
| 183 | I don't fully understand about that space. | 我不完全理解那个空间。 |
| 184 | But I think at a fundamental baseline, | 但我认为在一个基本基线上 |
| 185 | I think primarily it's genetic. | 我觉得主要是遗传性的 |
| 186 | And I'll tell you my beef with this trauma perspective of it | 我用这种创伤的视角告诉你我的牛肉 |
| 187 | because I truly understand where that's coming from. | 因为我真的明白这是从哪里来的 |
| 188 | My issue is that sometimes there | 我的问题是,有时在那里 |
| 189 | isn't traumatic things happening | 并不是痛苦的事情发生 |
| 190 | and a parent is looking at their kid | 父母看着他们的孩子 |
| 191 | who might be experiencing ADHD symptoms | 可能出现ADHD症状的人 |
| 192 | and there is actually a hesitation | 而实际上有犹豫 |
| 193 | to get them treated, get them evaluated | 让他们得到治疗,让他们得到评价 |
| 194 | because they don't want to, | 因为他们不想, |
| 195 | there was trauma here, this is your fault. | 这里有创伤, 这是你的错。 |
| 196 | I feel like there was some difficulty | 我觉得有些困难 |
| 197 | in terms of it is a parent at fault | 父母有错 |
| 198 | with that trauma hypothesis. | 与创伤假说。 |
| 199 | Well, I don't think you need to blame parents necessarily | 好吧,我不认为你需要责怪父母 |
| 200 | on every case of a kid having it, right? | 每一个孩子有它,对不对? |
| 201 | So there's different circumstances, | 所以有不同的环境, |
| 202 | but I'm just thinking from what you said, | 但我只是在想 从你说, |
| 203 | this book being about emotional regulation | 这本书是关于情绪调节的 |
| 204 | and learning the skills of emotional regulation | 和学习情绪调节技能 |
| 205 | I'm speaking for myself | 我为自己说话 |
| 206 | and a lot of people I've spoken to, | 我和很多人谈过 |
| 207 | that when I grew up in an environment | 当我在一个环境中长大 |
| 208 | that did not feel emotionally safe, | 不觉得情绪安全, |
| 209 | I didn't have the emotional tools on how to regulate myself. | 我没有情绪 工具如何调节自己。 |
| 210 | And therefore I used strategies as a kid | 所以我从小就用策略 |
| 211 | to feel safe and to protect myself. | 感到安全 保护自己 |
| 212 | Even though I wasn't physically necessarily in harm's way, | 虽然我身体上不一定有危险 |
| 213 | emotionally and psychologically | 情感和心理 |
| 214 | I felt like I was not safe. | 我觉得自己不安全 |
| 215 | You were in danger. | 你当时很危险 |
| 216 | Yeah. | 对 |
| 217 | And so therefore I use strategies | 所以,我用战略 |
| 218 | to try to protect myself or stand out | 试图保护自己或突出 |
| 219 | or do different things. | 或做别的事情。 |
| 220 | And I feel like for me, that trauma, | 我觉得我, 那个创伤, |
| 221 | that experience caused me to act out in a lot of ways | 那段经历让我以很多方式表现 |
| 222 | from my personal experience | 根据我个人的经验 |
| 223 | if I'm self assessing my childhood. | 如果我是自我评估 我的童年。 |
| 224 | And I feel like that environment | 感觉就像那种环境 |
| 225 | caused me to be hyper vigilant, | 让我变得非常警惕 |
| 226 | you know, vocally and physically erratic | 你知道,声音和身体不稳定 |
| 227 | or whatever, you know, the terminology is. | 或者什么,你知道,术语是。 |
| 228 | But I don't think it was genetic for me | 但我不认为这是遗传给我的 |
| 229 | because I feel like I've learned the skills of healing | 因为我觉得自己学会了治疗 |
| 230 | and learned tools of emotional regulation | 和学习的情绪调节工具 |
| 231 | like you talk about in here | 就像你在这里谈论 |
| 232 | that caused me to be more at peace | 这让我更加平静 |
| 233 | and feel more psychologically and emotionally safe. | 感觉更 心理和情感安全。 |
| 234 | Right. | 对 |
| 235 | And so that's where I was asking about | 所以这就是我问的地方 |
| 236 | the trauma side of things versus genetics. | 事情的创伤 相对于遗传。 |
| 237 | Well, let me back up. | 好吧,让我回来。 |
| 238 | First of all, love that you have been able | 首先,你的爱是能够的 |
| 239 | given a chaotic kind of upbringing | 给一种混乱的教养 |
| 240 | and environment initially, | 以及环境, |
| 241 | that you've been able to find those skills | 你已经找到了这些技能 |
| 242 | and actually not only fine tune them | 并且实际上不只是精细的调制 |
| 243 | and actually make them applicable for yourself, | 并让它们适用于你自己, |
| 244 | but actually see benefit from them. | 却从中得益。 |
| 245 | So that's huge. | 所以这是巨大的。 |
| 246 | But what I would say is that | 但我会说, |
| 247 | there's so many things that fragment focus. | 有这么多的东西 分散焦点。 |
| 248 | There's so many things that trauma can fragment focus. | 有很多东西可以使创伤分散 |
| 249 | PTSD, a huge cause of that. | PTSD,一个巨大的原因。 |
| 250 | Anxiety can fragment focus. | 焦虑会分散注意力 |
| 251 | Thyroid conditions can fragment focus. | 甲状腺素可以分散注意力 |
| 252 | There's so many different things. | 复有种种差别. |
| 253 | Hormones. | 荷尔蒙. |
| 254 | So there's so many things that impact focus, | 所以有这么多事情 影响焦点, |
| 255 | impact behavior, but that's not truly ADHD. | 影响行为, 但这不是真正的ADHD。 |
| 256 | So you could have focused fragmentation | 这样你就可以把注意力集中在分裂上 |
| 257 | that's coming from all those things, | 从所有的东西, |
| 258 | but ADHD is a distinct longitudinal pattern | 但ADHD是一种独特的纵向模式 |
| 259 | that's usually genetic. | 这通常是遗传性的。 |
| 260 | Well, interesting. | 嗯,有趣的是,你喜欢吗? |
| 261 | So I might have had symptoms | 我可能会有症状 |
| 262 | 或类似ADHD,但不是ADHD。 | |
| 263 | Yes. | 对 |
| 264 | How does a practitioner distinguish the difference? | 业者如何区分差别? |
| 265 | Do they look at your blood work and say like, | 他们看你的血液工作 并说, |
| 266 | your DNA says this versus the behavioral traits | 你的DNA说这是行为特征 |
| 267 | that you're using or are experiencing in life? | 你正在使用或正在经历的生活? |
| 268 | Yeah. | 对 |
| 269 | Because if the symptoms look the same, | 因为如果症状看起来是一样的, |
| 270 | how do you know the diagnosis? | 你怎么知道诊断结果的? |
| 271 | Okay. | 摆 |
| 272 | Yes. | 对 |
| 273 | So if you're seeing these symptoms | 如果你看到这些症状 |
| 274 | of fragmented attention kind of throughout | 分散的注意力 那种整个 |
| 275 | and the doctor does a full assessment, | 医生做了充分的评估, |
| 276 | they've looked at medical stuff, | 他们看了医疗材料, |
| 277 | they've looked at psychiatric stuff, | 他们已经看 精神病的东西, |
| 278 | they've looked at the just psychological | 他们看 公正的心理 |
| 279 | kind of environment that they're in | 那种环境,他们在 |
| 280 | and the state of affairs in terms of their life | 及其生活状况 |
| 281 | and what's happening, and they get to a spot | 发生了什么事, 他们得到一个斑点 |
| 282 | where they're trying to figure out like, | 在那里,他们试图 找出喜欢, |
| 283 | is this ADHD or is this not? | 这是ADHD还是不是? |
| 284 | Then you start looking back at patterns. | 然后你开始回顾模式。 |
| 285 | Is this a consistent pattern from birth? | 这是从出生开始的一贯模式吗? |
| 286 | This was going on with ups and downs | 这和上下行一样 |
| 287 | and this has been a consistent pattern. | 这是一贯的规律 |
| 288 | Is this really localized around traumatic things | 这是真的 本地化与创伤的东西 |
| 289 | and this is like a trauma response? | 这就像创伤反应? |
| 290 | Is this something that happens | 发生这种事吗? |
| 291 | when metabolically something is different? | 当新陈代谢的东西是不同的? |
| 292 | So you're looking at context | 所以,你看着的背景 |
| 293 | and you're looking at kind of | 你看着一种 |
| 294 | when these things peak and valley, | 当这些事物达到高峰和山谷的时候, |
| 295 | you're looking at from early, early ages, | 你从早期,早期, |
| 296 | what has this pattern been throughout? | 这种模式到底有什么特点? |
| 297 | And I think it's really difficult | 我觉得这很困难 |
| 298 | because I also touched on this briefly, | 因为我也简短地谈到了这一点, |
| 299 | but I think with ADHD, diagnostically, | 但我想与ADHD, 诊断, |
| 300 | we're at a very problematic spot | 我们正处在一个很麻烦的地方 |
| 301 | because that initial data was done | 因为初始数据已经完成 |
| 302 | on hyperactive young males. | 在超活跃的年轻男性身上 |
| 303 | So right now we have this diagnostic criteria | 现在我们有诊断标准 |
| 304 | that's not encapsulating so many other presentations. | 而不是封装这么多其他的演讲。 |
| 305 | But also aren't many young males hyperactive? | 年轻男性也不是很活跃吗? |
| 306 | Just hormones make young men more hyperactive than not? | 荷尔蒙能让年轻人更兴奋? |
| 307 | I have a six-year-old young male. | 我有一个六岁的年轻男性。 |
| 308 | Jumping off the walls and running around. | 从墙上跳下来跑来跑去 |
| 309 | Of energy and vigor. | 充满活力和活力 |
| 310 | I think it can sometimes be difficult to tell for sure. | 我觉得有时很难确定 |
| 311 | But the criteria was built on observable data. | 但标准是基于可观测数据。 |
| 312 | There's a lot of this, | 有很多这样的, |
| 313 | especially when you're making the argument | 特别是当你在争论时 |
| 314 | to include emotional regulation, | 包括情绪调节, |
| 315 | which by the way, Europe did in 2019. | 顺便说一下,欧洲在2019年做到了。 |
| 316 | They amended their criteria | 他们修改了自己的标准 |
| 317 | to include emotional regulation | 包括情绪调节 |
| 318 | and the US still hasn't. | 而美国仍然没有。 |
| 319 | But when you're looking at all of this, | 但当你看到这一切, |
| 320 | you can't observe emotional regulation. | 你不能观察情绪调节。 |
| 321 | You can't observe these kind of lived experiences | 你无法观察这种活的经验 |
| 322 | and these difficulties and subtleties | 以及这些困难和微妙之处 |
| 323 | that are happening internally. | 正在内部发生。 |
| 324 | And so now we have this presentation | 所以现在我们有这个介绍 |
| 325 | where anyone who's having this emotional turbulence | 任何有这种情绪动荡的人 |
| 326 | that happens with ADHD and emotional dysregulation, | 和情绪调节, |
| 327 | because of that failure in criteria, | 因为标准上的失败, |
| 328 | doctors are like, okay, well, it's anxiety. | 医生喜欢,好吧,嗯,这是焦虑。 |
| 329 | It's depression. | 这是抑郁症。 |
| 330 | And they're treated with antidepressant | 他们用抗抑郁药治疗 |
| 331 | after antidepressant after antidepressant. | 在抗抑郁药之后 |
| 332 | And antidepressants, by the way, | 还有抗抑郁药 |
| 333 | I'm not against antidepressants. | 我不反对抗抑郁药。 |
| 334 | I think they're great. | 我觉得他们很棒 |
| 335 | I think they're life-changing tools | 我觉得它们是改变生命的工具 |
| 336 | if that's your diagnosis. | 如果这是你的诊断。 |
| 337 | So if you don't have anxiety and depression, | 所以如果你没有焦虑和抑郁 |
| 338 | you're started on an antidepressant. | 你开始服用抗抑郁药 |
| 339 | This cycle just perpetuates. | 这种循环只会持续下去。 |
| 340 | And what happens is that | 发生的事是 |
| 341 | I've had patients come into my office. | 我让病人来我办公室了 |
| 342 | They sit in the chair. | 他们坐在椅子上。 |
| 343 | Maybe they're on their 10th antidepressant. | 也许他们在他们的第10抗抑郁药。 |
| 344 | And they're like, I went to my doctor | 他们喜欢,我去我的医生 |
| 345 | and I asked him after seeing stuff online | 我在网上看到东西就问他 |
| 346 | or talking to my family, I think I have ADHD. | 或跟我的家人说话, 我想我有ADHD。 |
| 347 | And the doctor will say, | 医生会说, |
| 348 | well, we can't even look at that | 我们甚至不能看 |
| 349 | until we get your anxiety and depression. | 直到我们得到你的焦虑和抑郁。 |
| 350 | And they're like, shut up. | 他们就像,闭嘴。 |
| 351 | Yeah. | 对 |
| 352 | Wow. | 珃 |
| 353 | So you're just in this perpetuating cycle | 所以,你只是在这个持续循环 |
| 354 | of misdiagnosis. | 误诊。 |
| 355 | That's where I feel, again, | 这就是我的感觉,再次, |
| 356 | that's where I feel the medical world can be harmful | 我觉得医学界可能有害 |
| 357 | if they misdiagnose | 如果他们误诊, |
| 358 | and put you on 10 different antidepressants | 让你服用十种不同的抗抑郁药 |
| 359 | and say, well, we can't treat you for something else | 并说,好了,我们不能 对待你的东西 |
| 360 | until we figure this anxiety and depression thing out. | 直到我们找出焦虑和抑郁症 |
| 361 | I'm not saying all medical is bad, | 我不是说所有医学都不好 |
| 362 | but I'm saying it can be harmful | 但我说这很有害 |
| 363 | when that happens. | 当它发生。 |
| 364 | And someone comes in your office and is like, | 有人来到你的办公室,就像, |
| 365 | I've been on 10 antidepressants | 我吃过十种抗抑郁药 |
| 366 | and I don't know how to get better. | 我不知道怎么好起来 |
| 367 | It's almost like it's harming that individual | 这几乎像是伤害了那个个体 |
| 368 | more than helping them. | 不只是帮助他们 |
| 369 | Well, if it's a wrong diagnosis, | 如果诊断错误 |
| 370 | it is objectively harming them | 客观上伤害了他们 |
| 371 | because you're giving a medication | 因为你在给药 |
| 372 | that is changing your brain functioning. | 改变你的大脑功能。 |
| 373 | Oh, man. | 哦,伙计。 |
| 374 | It's wild. | 野'. |
| 375 | That just makes me angry. | 这让我很生气 |
| 376 | Yeah. | 对 |
| 377 | If someone's been misdiagnosed, | 如果有人被误诊了 |
| 378 | been giving them a chemical | 给了他们一种化学物质 |
| 379 | to transform their brain in a negative way | 以负面方式改变他们的大脑 |
| 380 | that they weren't supposed to have. | 他们不应该有。 |
| 381 | And then they have to live with that potential | 然后,他们必须 生活在这种潜力 |
| 382 | for the rest of their life. | 他们的余生。 |
| 383 | I mean, look at, | 我是说,你看, |
| 384 | if you look at the average age of diagnosis | 如果你看看平均诊断年龄 |
| 385 | for males, six to eight. | 对于雄性,六到八。 |
| 386 | For females, 35. | 女性为35人。 |
| 387 | Of ADHD or anxiety and depression? | ADHD还是焦虑和抑郁症? |
| 388 | Of ADHD. | (原始内容存档于2018-09-21). Of ADHD. |
| 389 | That's when they get their day. | 这时候他们得到了他们的一天。 |
| 390 | And usually it's because they're bringing in their kid | 通常是因为他们要带孩子来 |
| 391 | and they're like, wait a second. | 他们就像,等一下。 |
| 392 | This sounds just like me. | 这听起来就像我。 |
| 393 | So moms will come in and get diagnosed at 35 | 所以妈妈35岁就进来诊断了 |
| 394 | when they bring her kid. | 当他们带她的孩子。 |
| 395 | That they seemingly can't control. | 他们似乎不能控制。 |
| 396 | They don't know what's wrong with them | 他们不知道自己怎么了 |
| 397 | or what's going on, right? | 或者发生了什么事,对不对? |
| 398 | Yeah. | 对 |
| 399 | And so they'll come in and they're like, | 所以他们会进来 然后他们就... |
| 400 | actually, that sounds a lot like me. | 听起来很像我 |
| 401 | And that might be the first time | 这可能是第一次 |
| 402 | that they're actually getting treatment | 他们正在接受治疗 |
| 403 | for what they shouldn't be getting treatment for. | 为了他们不应该得到的治疗。 |
| 404 | But think about all 35 years | 但想想这35年 |
| 405 | when they were having these pockets of time | 当他们拥有这些时间 |
| 406 | around puberty, around childbirth, | 在青春期, 在分娩, |
| 407 | around all of these different things | 在所有这些不同的事物周围 |
| 408 | where you saw big spikes in emotional regulation | 在那里你看到 情绪调节的大幅上升 |
| 409 | because it's a hard world and life is hard. | 因为它是一个艰难的世界 而生活是艰难的。 |
| 410 | And they're big pockets. | 它们是大口袋。 |
| 411 | And instead of looking at what's the root cause of this? | 而不观其根本因何. |
| 412 | What is at the base of this? | 这下面是什么? |
| 413 | It's hormonal. | 荷尔蒙. |
| 414 | It's mommy brain. | 这是妈妈的大脑。 |
| 415 | It's anxiety. | 这是焦虑。 |
| 416 | It's depression. | 这是抑郁症。 |
| 417 | And so they're either misdiagnosed | 所以他们要么被误诊了 |
| 418 | or they're just frankly ignored and passed along. | 或者他们只是 坦率地忽略和传递。 |
| 419 | Postpartum or whatever it might be, right? | 产后还是别的,对吧? |
| 420 | Different things. | 不同诸事. |
| 421 | Now, how does someone know they have true anxiety | 现在,怎么会有人知道 他们有真正的焦虑 |
| 422 | or depression versus stressful thoughts that come and go | 或抑郁 与压力 的想法来来去 |
| 423 | or anxious thoughts that come and go? | 或焦虑的想法来去? |
| 424 | Yeah, patterns, patterns. | 是啊,规律,规律。 |
| 425 | You look at intensity of kind of thoughts. | 你看看这种想法的强度。 |
| 426 | You look at how disruptive it is | 你看看它有多混乱 |
| 427 | in terms of your day-to-day functioning. | 就日常运作而言 |
| 428 | So like for depression, | 喜欢抑郁症, |
| 429 | you need criteria that is over a certain span of time. | 您需要经过一段时间的标准。 |
| 430 | And you look at sleep. | 你看着睡觉。 |
| 431 | You look at interest level. | 你看看利息水平。 |
| 432 | You look at is this person experiencing guilt | 你看这个人就是在犯罪 |
| 433 | or hopelessness? | 还是绝望? |
| 434 | You look at energy. | 你看着能量。 |
| 435 | You look at concentration. | 你看看专注。 |
| 436 | You look at appetite. | 你看着胃口。 |
| 437 | You're looking at all of these different. | 你看所有这些不同的。 |
| 438 | It's not just, you know, | 这不仅仅是,你知道, |
| 439 | does this person have suicidal thoughts or not? | 这个人到底有没有自杀念头? |
| 440 | You're encapsulating a lot of different things | 你封装了很多不同的东西 |
| 441 | over a certain span of time | 在一定时间内 |
| 442 | versus they went through a breakup and now they're sad. | 和他们分手了 现在他们很伤心 |
| 443 | This is a big difference. | 这是很大的区别。 |
| 444 | So you're catching it over a pretty prolonged period of time. | 所以,你捕捉它 相当长的时间。 |
| 445 | With anxiety, same kind of thing. | 焦虑,同样的事情。 |
| 446 | You're looking over a period of time, | 你在寻找一段时间, |
| 447 | and you're looking like, | 你看起来像, |
| 448 | is this person dealing with like musculoskeletal stuff? | 这个人是处理 像肌肉骨骼的东西? |
| 449 | Are they restless? | 他们不安吗? |
| 450 | Do their muscle tension, | 做他们的肌肉紧张, |
| 451 | is sleep getting impacted? | 睡眠会受到影响吗? |
| 452 | Do they have panic attacks? | 他们有恐慌症吗? |
| 453 | You're looking at all of those different pieces. | 你看着所有这些不同的片段。 |
| 454 | But the thing that distinguishes that | 但是,那东西区别于 |
| 455 | from a situational up and down | 从情况上下 |
| 456 | is truly patterns over a long period of time. | 它们是长期的真正规律。 |
| 457 | Because if you're gone through a breakup | 因为如果你经历了分手 |
| 458 | and you're still sad three, six, | 你还是很伤心 三 六 |
| 459 | or maybe nine months later, | 也许九个月后 |
| 460 | it may not be anxiety or depression. | 它可能不是焦虑或抑郁。 |
| 461 | You just maybe haven't dealt with the breakup fully yet | 你可能还没处理好分手的事 |
| 462 | or the loss yet. | 或损失还没有。 |
| 463 | But a lot of your book talks about rejection. | 但你的书里有很多关于拒绝的 |
| 464 | And it sounds like most people in the world | 这听起来像世界上大多数人 |
| 465 | are afraid of being rejected or the feeling of rejection. | 害怕被拒绝或被拒绝的感觉。 |
| 466 | Whether it be a micro rejection, | 不管是微弱的拒绝, |
| 467 | meaning a comment online | 意思是在线评论 |
| 468 | where someone didn't approve of their post, | 如果有人不同意他们的职位 |
| 469 | or a rejection of approaching someone, | 或拒绝接近某人, |
| 470 | then saying no, or rejection at work, | 或拒绝工作, |
| 471 | or rejection in their marriage, whatever it might be. | 或拒绝他们的婚姻,无论它可能是什么。 |
| 472 | What is the consequence of rejection | 拒绝的后果是什么 |
| 473 | for most people in the world right now? | 对于世界上大多数人来说,现在? |
| 474 | When they experience rejection, they feel what? | 当他们遭受排斥时,他们会觉得什么? |
| 475 | So let's back up a little bit. | 故先退后一点. |
| 476 | Because I don't think anybody likes rejection, right? | 因为我不认为有人喜欢拒绝,对不对? |
| 477 | You're never going to meet someone who's like, | 你永远不会遇到一个喜欢, |
| 478 | that was great for me. | 对我很好 |
| 479 | After getting rejected or maybe you do, I don't know. | 在被拒绝之后,也许你这样做,我不知道。 |
| 480 | But most people are going to be like, that was bad. | 但大多数人会喜欢, 这是不好的。 |
| 481 | But then they are able to kind of move on | 但他们可以继续前进 |
| 482 | and take whatever positives they need to. | 并带走他们需要的任何积极因素。 |
| 483 | From that moment, or possibly not even do that, | 从那时起,甚至可能不这样做, |
| 484 | just forget about it and move on. | 忘了它,继续前进。 |
| 485 | There is a concept called rejection-sensitive dysphoria. | 有一个概念叫做拒绝敏感症。 |
| 486 | And that is a profound emotional response | 这是一个深刻的情感反应 |
| 487 | to real or perceived rejection, criticism, | 拒绝或认为拒绝,批评, |
| 488 | or disappointing someone. | 或者让人失望 |
| 489 | It is a neurological phenomenon that's happening. | 这是一个神经现象 正在发生。 |
| 490 | And so what I tell people is that | 所以我告诉大家 |
| 491 | if you are looking at where you fall | 如果你看着你跌落的地方 |
| 492 | in this emotional spectrum. | 在这个情感谱系中 |
| 493 | Rejection-sensitive dysphoria. | 拒绝敏感症. |
| 494 | And it's real or perceived rejection, right? | 而这是真实的或感知的拒绝,对不对? |
| 495 | You might think you're getting rejection. | 你可能会觉得自己会被拒绝 |
| 496 | You're not. | 你没有。 |
| 497 | It's just a fear around it too, right? | 只是周围的恐惧,对不对? |
| 498 | Okay, sorry. | 好吧,对不起。 |
| 499 | So what is it? | 这是什么? |
| 500 | There's a scale of this? | 有这个规模吗? |
| 501 | There's a spectrum. | 有光谱. |
| 502 | So if you're looking at it, and it's pretty intuitive | 所以,如果你看着它, 它相当直观 |
| 503 | because when you ask yourself, how sensitive am I? | 因为你问自己 我有多敏感? |
| 504 | What is normal? | 什么是正常的吗? |
| 505 | You look at this spectrum and that's what we go over | 你看这个光谱,这就是我们过去 |
| 506 | in this book because I don't think that was ever delineated. | 这本书,因为我不认为 从来没有被划定。 |
| 507 | I don't know where you would consider normal. | 我不知道你认为哪里正常。 |
| 508 | But where I consider normal would be | 但我认为正常的地方 |
| 509 | when you're having a situational stressor | 当你有一个情况压力器 |
| 510 | and your mood goes up or down appropriately. | 你的情绪会上升或下降 |
| 511 | Now you look at one end of the spectrum and it's apathy | 现在看光谱的一端 是冷漠 |
| 512 | where you're having an emotional trigger | 在那里你有一个情感触发器 |
| 513 | and you don't really elevate up or down. | 你并没有真正升降。 |
| 514 | It's just, eh, numb. | 这只是,嗯,麻木。 |
| 515 | You're there. | 你来了 |
| 516 | Polar other opposite end of the spectrum, | 极地另一端的光谱, |
| 517 | which is kind of where I live, | 我住的地方就是这样 |
| 518 | is where you feel things deeply and quickly | 就是你内心深处的感受 |
| 519 | and for a long time. | 和长久。 |
| 520 | And it's truly because of a difference | 真的因为不同 |
| 521 | in neurological wiring. | 在神经电线。 |
| 522 | And I would put RSD on that side of the spectrum. | 我会把RSD放在光谱的那一边。 |
| 523 | Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria. | 拒绝敏感染色体 |
| 524 | How many days does it take to go from total beginner | 初学者需要多少天的时间 |
| 525 | to reasonably proficient at a new skill? | 是否对新技能有一定熟练度? |
| 526 | Well, if you practice for a focused hour a day, | 如果你每天练习一个小时 |
| 527 | then about 250, which also happens to be | 大约250, 恰巧也是 |
| 528 | 选择 T-Mobile 的理由数量。 | |
| 529 | Here's an excellent reason. | 这里有一个很好的理由。 |
| 530 | They have the fastest 5G home internet | 他们拥有最快的5G家庭互联网 |
| 531 | 根据Euclid速度测试, | |
| 532 | which you can test for yourself, | 你可以为自己测试, |
| 533 | worry-free with their 15-day money-back guarantee. | 他们15天的退款担保是免烦的 |
| 534 | Another great reason. | 另一个伟大的理由。 |
| 535 | It's fast and easy to set up too. | 速且易设也. |
| 536 | Plug it in and you're online in practically no time | 插进去你就马上上网了 |
| 537 | with no appointment or technician needed. | 无需预约或技术员。 |
| 538 | Those are just a few reasons. | 这些只是几个原因。 |
| 539 | 在T-mobile.com的互联网上找到你的 | |
| 540 | where you can check availability and try it for yourself. | 在那里你可以检查可用性 并自己尝试。 |
| 541 | They're so sure you'll love it. | 他们肯定你会喜欢的 |
| 542 | You get your money back if you don't. | 你不把钱拿回来 |
| 543 | 根据Euclid Speedtest情报数据 最快的速度 | |
| 544 | second half of 2025. | 2025年下半年. |
| 545 | All rights reserved. | 版权所有。 |
| 546 | Redeem money-back guarantee within 30 days of cancellation. | 取消后30日内补发回贷担保. |
| 547 | So if you feel things deeply and intensely | 所以如果你对事物有深刻和强烈的感觉 |
| 548 | for long periods of time, | 在很长一段时间, |
| 549 | whether it is a seemingly horrible event | 它是不是一个看似可怕的事件 |
| 550 | that occurred to you or a friend or someone you know, | 你或朋友或你认识的人 |
| 551 | and you feel deeply around that experience, | 你深深地感受到那段经历, |
| 552 | or maybe it wasn't that horrible perceived of an event, | 或者也许这不是 可怕的事件, |
| 553 | but you still feel deeply for something that's smaller. | 但你仍然对更小的东西有深刻的感受 |
| 554 | Yeah. | 对 |
| 555 | What does that say about you? | 那对你有什么影响? |
| 556 | I think that says that you're highly emotionally sensitive. | 我认为这说明你非常敏感 |
| 557 | Yes. | 对 |
| 558 | And I don't necessarily think that's an... | 我不一定认为那是... |
| 559 | I mean, I want to make sure that that's not | 我的意思是,我想确保这不是 |
| 560 | being put with a good or bad label, right? | 被放在一个好或坏的标签,对不对? |
| 561 | It just is what it is. | 就是这样 |
| 562 | It's just you're wired. | 只是你被窃听了 |
| 563 | There are some people that process emotion more intensely. | 有些人更强烈地处理情绪。 |
| 564 | And so if that's how you feel, | 所以如果这就是你的感受 |
| 565 | really deeply, really quickly, really intensely, | 非常深刻,非常迅速,非常强烈, |
| 566 | and it lingers for a long time, | 它将永居其中, |
| 567 | you're one of those people | 你是那种人中的一个 |
| 568 | that probably does interpret emotion differently, | 这也许解释的情感不同, |
| 569 | process emotion differently. | 过程情感不同。 |
| 570 | And there's a different set of skills that you use for that. | 还有一套不同的技能 你用来做这个。 |
| 571 | Yes. | 对 |
| 572 | I feel like I grew up like that. | 我觉得自己长大了 |
| 573 | Yeah. | 对 |
| 574 | Feeling deeply around... | 感觉很深... |
| 575 | I did too. | 我也一样。 |
| 576 | ...lots of things. | 很多东西 |
| 577 | Did you get called sensitive a lot? | 你经常被叫敏感吗? |
| 578 | No, maybe emotional, but you know. | 不,也许情绪化,但你知道的。 |
| 579 | But I would like... | 但我会... |
| 580 | I was... yeah, I just felt very deeply, | 我... 是的,我只是觉得很深 |
| 581 | and I would go into like an emotional cave at times, you know? | 有时我会像情感洞穴一样进入 |
| 582 | And either by myself or around other people. | 或我自己,或周围的人。 |
| 583 | And yeah. | 对 |
| 584 | It's interesting. | 这很有趣。 |
| 585 | And I had to learn tools as an adult on how to... | 我不得不学习工具 作为一个成年人如何... |
| 586 | Like, I still feel very deeply, | 喜欢,我仍然感觉非常深刻, |
| 587 | but I've had to... | 但我必须... |
| 588 | I don't know if it's a psychological tool | 我不知道这是不是心理工具 |
| 589 | or an emotional tool or what it is, spiritual tool, | 或情感工具或是什么, 精神工具, |
| 590 | on how to feel it, not bypass the feeling, | 如何感受它,而不是绕过的感觉, |
| 591 | but also not let the feeling take over my life. | 但也不能让这种感觉取代我的生活。 |
| 592 | So that I can actually keep moving forward | 这样我才能继续前进 |
| 593 | and focusing out rather than focusing inward constantly. | 专注,而不是不断专注于内 |
| 594 | So that's kind of the entire gist of this, | 所以,这就是这整个要点, |
| 595 | is I wanted to make sure that people understood. | 我想确保人们理解 |
| 596 | It's not about making you less sensitive. | 这不是让你更敏感。 |
| 597 | It's giving you more control. | 它给你更多的控制。 |
| 598 | So for people who do feel things really deeply, | 所以对于做事情的人来说, |
| 599 | I feel like being able to utilize those skills. | 我想利用这些技能 |
| 600 | And it's all stuff you've heard about you. | 而一切众生所闻. |
| 601 | It's all stuff you know. | 这是所有的东西你知道。 |
| 602 | But knowing when to apply it, how to apply it, | 但知道何时应用 如何应用 |
| 603 | that's really going to help you. | 这真的会帮助你。 |
| 604 | And I think with this book, | 我想用这本书 |
| 605 | the way it's broken up is the first part | 分手的方式是第一部分 |
| 606 | is the neuroscience of truly, | 是真正的神经科学, |
| 607 | if you're neurologically wired to process emotion differently, | 如果你被神经电线 处理不同的情感, |
| 608 | then it goes into where you fall on that spectrum. | 然后它进入你落在光谱上的地方。 |
| 609 | Then it goes into the tools. | 然后它进入工具。 |
| 610 | And then the last part of the book | 然后书的最后一部分 |
| 611 | is just all real world examples, | 只是所有真实世界的例子, |
| 612 | where then it breaks down like, | 在那里,它像崩溃, |
| 613 | this is what's happening in the brain. | 这就是大脑里发生的事情。 |
| 614 | This is the skill you use. | 这就是你使用的技能。 |
| 615 | Let's practice it. | 师便练. |
| 616 | Because I think going through, | 因为我想通过, |
| 617 | if you were able to do that, | 如果你能做到这一点, |
| 618 | while you're not in this dysregulated state, | 趁你不处于这种困境状态 |
| 619 | you're going to be able to kind of learn and build. | 你会有种 学习和建设。 |
| 620 | And then when you need it, it's there. | 然后当你需要它, 它就在那里。 |
| 621 | You kind of learned and experienced | 你有点有经验 |
| 622 | and you've practiced it in lower-stake moments. | 你在低调的时刻练习过 |
| 623 | So I think that's the key of kind of moving more | 所以,我认为这是关键 那种移动更多 |
| 624 | into that emotionally resilient spot. | 进入那个有感情弹性的地方 |
| 625 | If someone feels like their brain is working against them | 如果有人觉得他们的大脑在对付他们 |
| 626 | and they feel like they just can't get a hold of their thoughts | 他们觉得自己无法掌握自己的想法 |
| 627 | and their brain is kind of working against them, | 而他们的大脑 有点对他们不利, |
| 628 | what do you think is actually going on inside of them | 你觉得他们里面到底发生了什么 |
| 629 | if they feel like they cannot get a control on their brain? | 如果他们觉得无法控制大脑的话? |
| 630 | You have to give me more information. | 你得给我更多的信息。 |
| 631 | Do you mean like they feel like their emotions are out of control? | 你是说他们觉得情绪失控了吗? |
| 632 | Yeah. | 对 |
| 633 | I think a lot of times, like if you go back | 我想了很多次,就像如果你回去一样 |
| 634 | and you actually think about the neuroanatomy of what's at play, | 你实际上思考 神经解剖 是什么在玩, |
| 635 | there are two big things that we talk about. | 我们谈的是两件大事 |
| 636 | Number one is the amygdala. | 第一是阿弥陀罗. |
| 637 | And that is that emotional threat detector in the body and the brain. | 这就是身体和大脑中的情绪威胁探测器。 |
| 638 | And the second part is your frontal lobe, | 第二部分是你的前叶 |
| 639 | that prefrontal cortex directly under your forehead. | 前额皮层直接在你额头上 |
| 640 | Smartest part of the brain. | 最聪明的大脑部分。 |
| 641 | Judgment, decision-making, processing, | 判决、决定、处理、 |
| 642 | that's all that frontal lobe functioning. | 这就是前叶的功能。 |
| 643 | When you're dealing with someone | 当你和某人打交道时 |
| 644 | who's highly emotionally sensitive, | 谁的高度情感敏感, |
| 645 | 那个Amygdala, 超能反应。 | |
| 646 | So now it's like taking emotional data, | 所以,现在它就像取 情感数据, |
| 647 | processing it, and it's dumping alarm chemicals | 处理它,它倾倒警报化学品 |
| 648 | like I am in danger, something's happening, | 就像我身处险境,有事发生, |
| 649 | this is going on, this is real. | 这是真的 |
| 650 | And you kind of described this with this hyper-vigilance. | 你用这种超活力来形容这个 |
| 651 | You know, you're on lookout for this is happening, this is dangerous. | 你知道,你正在注意 这件事正在发生,这是危险的。 |
| 652 | So this amygdala is spinning, dumping alarm chemicals. | 所以这个阿米格达拉正在旋转, 倾倒警报化学物质。 |
| 653 | Then that frontal lobe, under-responsive. | 然后是前叶,反应不足。 |
| 654 | So when you need that guy most, where is he? | 所以当你最需要那个人时 他在哪里? |
| 655 | He's not processing or overriding this. | 他没有处理或推翻这一点。 |
| 656 | And the connection between the two is weak. | 而两者的连系也比较薄弱. |
| 657 | So basically, your emotions are going to outweigh | 所以基本上 你的情绪会超过 |
| 658 | that logical part of your brain almost every time, | 你大脑中合乎逻辑的部分 几乎每次都如此 |
| 659 | unless you have those skills. | 除非你有这些技能。 |
| 660 | Gosh, this is where, you know, | 天啊,这里,你知道, |
| 661 | I probably made too many mistakes in my past, | 我过去可能犯过太多错误 |
| 662 | letting my emotions get the best of me | 让我的情绪得到最好的我 |
| 663 | in the heat of the moment, right? | 在炎热的时刻,对不对? |
| 664 | It's like, and you react, you say something, | 就像,你的反应,你说什么, |
| 665 | you're like, oh, I shouldn't have said that. | 你就像,哦,我不应该说。 |
| 666 | Oh my God, I have many examples. | 哦,我的上帝,我有很多例子。 |
| 667 | Many of those moments, right? | 很多这样的时刻,对不对? |
| 668 | Many examples. | 许多例子。 |
| 669 | You spent years thinking something was wrong with you | 你花了很多年在想自己有什么不对劲 |
| 670 | before you had a diagnosis, correct? | 在你得到诊断之前 对吗? |
| 671 | Yeah. | 对 |
| 672 | So what changed once you understood what was really happening? | 那么,什么改变 一旦你明白 到底发生了什么? |
| 673 | I don't even think it was about the diagnosis | 我甚至不认为是诊断 |
| 674 | because my diagnostic story was a little bit weird. | 因为我的诊断故事有点奇怪 |
| 675 | And then I was diagnosed in fourth grade, | 然后我被诊断为四年级, |
| 676 | did well, didn't bother me, | 做得很好,没有打扰我 |
| 677 | didn't really know that I was on ADHD medication, | 我真的不知道我在服用ADHD药物 |
| 678 | which was weird. | 这很奇怪。 |
| 679 | No way. | 不会吧 |
| 680 | Yeah. | 对 |
| 681 | Your parents just gave it to you without you knowing? | 你父母没告诉你就给你的? |
| 682 | Yeah, just thought it was a vitamin. | 是啊,只是觉得它是维他命。 |
| 683 | How do you feel about that? | 你觉得怎么样? |
| 684 | Well, not even, okay, so what- | 嗯,甚至,好吗,所以什么... |
| 685 | You feel tricked for lying to? | 你觉得骗人被骗了吗? |
| 686 | So they were like, this is going to help you focus. | 所以他们喜欢, 这将帮助你集中注意力。 |
| 687 | Okay. | 摆 |
| 688 | So I, but I never had that sit-down conversation of like, | 所以,我,但我从来没有 有那种坐下来谈话一样, |
| 689 | 这是ADHD。 | |
| 690 | This is what you're taking. | 这就是你要的。 |
| 691 | This is a drug. | 这是药 |
| 692 | This is chemically changing your brain every time you take it. | 这在化学上改变你的大脑 每次你服用它。 |
| 693 | Now, keep in mind, this was, I'm not going to, | 现在,记住,这是, 我不会, |
| 694 | like it was a long time ago. | 就像很久以前一样 |
| 695 | This was very, girls getting diagnosed with ADHD | 这是非常的,女孩被诊断为ADHD |
| 696 | was basically unheard of. | 基本上没有听说过。 |
| 697 | I was in a school where, you know, | 我在一所学校,你知道, |
| 698 | number one, I was like the only ethnicity. | 第一,我就像唯一的种族。 |
| 699 | So I already felt really othered. | 所以,我已经感觉 真的很不同。 |
| 700 | And I was like from the- | 我就像从... |
| 701 | You wanted to be, yeah. | 你想成为,是的。 |
| 702 | And from the get-go, I knew I was very emotionally sensitive | 从开始,我知道我很敏感 |
| 703 | and so did my parents. | 我父母也一样 |
| 704 | So I think they fumbled the bag on that one. | 所以我想他们把那个袋子弄坏了 |
| 705 | Like they could have handled that better. | 就像他们能处理得更好一样 |
| 706 | They did the best they could. | 他们尽力了 |
| 707 | Right, but being a parent, | 是的,但作为一个父母, |
| 708 | I understand that this is where it came from. | 我知道这是它的来源。 |
| 709 | And I think that they more than made up for that | 我认为,他们 超过弥补 |
| 710 | because then when I go through school and do pretty well, | 因为当我通过学校 做得很好, |
| 711 | get into medical school and in medical school, | 进入医学院和医学院, |
| 712 | I go through like, it was like the first two weeks. | 我经历了像, 这是像头两个星期。 |
| 713 | And I was like, did I have a stroke? | 我好像中风了? |
| 714 | What is wrong with me? | 我哪里不对劲? |
| 715 | Like, why are things- | 喜欢,为什么事情 - |
| 716 | Stroke? | 中风? |
| 717 | Yeah, I just felt like- | 是啊,我只是觉得... |
| 718 | In medical school? | 在医学院? |
| 719 | No, I didn't actually. | 不 我没有 |
| 720 | But I was like, things have, | 但我想,事情已经, |
| 721 | I've gone from the top of my class | 我从本班的顶级毕业了 |
| 722 | to the bottom of my class. | 到我的课底 |
| 723 | What happened? | 发生了什么事? |
| 724 | My parents were like, are you taking your vitamin? | 我父母说,你吃维他命了吗? |
| 725 | And I was like, I don't know where that is. | 我当时想,我不知道在哪里。 |
| 726 | And they're like, okay, well, it's actually ADHD Medicaid. | 他们就像,好吧,其实是ADHD医疗补助。 |
| 727 | Oh my gosh. | 天呐 |
| 728 | And so then, yeah, I felt extremely betrayed. | 然后,是的,我觉得被背叛了。 |
| 729 | I felt very angry. | 我感到非常愤怒。 |
| 730 | And you know, this is coming from parents | 你知道,这是来自父母 |
| 731 | who well-educated like the most attentive, loving parents. | 他们受过良好的教育, 像最关心,最爱的父母。 |
| 732 | And I just, I was so angry, so angry. | 我只是,我太生气了,太愤怒了。 |
| 733 | I can imagine. | 我能想象出来 |
| 734 | And then I was like, fine, I will show you. | 然后我就想,很好,我会告诉你。 |
| 735 | Like I knew kids who had ADHD when I was growing up | 就像我认识的孩子 谁有ADHD 当我长大了 |
| 736 | and they weren't me. | 他们不是我。 |
| 737 | They're like kids who are, you know, | 他们就像孩子 谁,你知道, |
| 738 | doing crazy stuff and getting in trouble. | 做疯狂的事情 和惹上麻烦。 |
| 739 | And that is not me. | 这不是我。 |
| 740 | So I tried and I tried. | 所以我尝试了,我尝试了。 |
| 741 | And I was watching all my peers whiz past me. | 我看着我的同伴们 都经过我身边 |
| 742 | And I got into a spot where I studied so hard for an exam. | 我进入了一个地方,在那里我努力学习 考试。 |
| 743 | So hard. | 这么难。 |
| 744 | I knew this neuroanatomy of the brain inside out. | 我知道大脑里面的神经切除术 |
| 745 | Like even right now, if you were to show me, | 就像现在,如果你要告诉我, |
| 746 | I'd be like, I know it all. | 我想,我知道这一切。 |
| 747 | I go in for this test. | 我去测试一下 |
| 748 | I do this test, hand it in before anyone else, | 我做这个测试,在别人面前交出来, |
| 749 | out the door and like, that was perfect. | 门外的一样, 这是完美的。 |
| 750 | This, I'm going to shove it in everyone's face. | 我要把它塞进每个人的脸上 |
| 751 | This is going to be great. | 这将是伟大的。 |
| 752 | We go and this is, I don't know if you have this. | 我们走了,这是, 我不知道你有没有这个。 |
| 753 | Do they ever like post grades on a thing? | 他们喜欢在某事上打分吗? |
| 754 | Yeah, not online. | 是啊,不在线。 |
| 755 | This is just like on a sheet. | 这就像一张纸上。 |
| 756 | So we're all like huddled around the next day looking. | 所以,我们都像 闲逛的第二天寻找。 |
| 757 | And I was like, oh my God, somebody got a 32%. | 而我就像,哦,我的上帝, 有人得到了32%。 |
| 758 | And I was like, oh God, it's me. | 我就像,哦,上帝,这是我。 |
| 759 | No way. | 不会吧 |
| 760 | So I'm looking at my ID number and I was like, | 所以我在看我的身份证号码 我当时想, |
| 761 | I got a hundred. | 我有一百块 |
| 762 | There's no way this must be an error. | 这不可能是错的 |
| 763 | I go, I forgot to flip over the sheet. | 我走了,我忘了翻过床单 |
| 764 | Oh, you left the whole thing blank. | 哦,你把整件事都留空了。 |
| 765 | So you would have gotten a hundred percent | 所以,你会得到100% |
| 766 | had you flipped it over probably. | 你可能把它翻过来了 |
| 767 | I was crying. | 我当时在哭 |
| 768 | I went to the instructor and I was like, | 我去了教练那里,我很喜欢, |
| 769 | just give it, give it to me orally. | 把它给我 口头给我 |
| 770 | I'll do it right now. | 我现在就去 |
| 771 | I'll show you. | 我给你看 |
| 772 | I know it. | 我知道这一点。 |
| 773 | And he's like, you need to learn from this. | 他就像 你需要从中吸取教训 |
| 774 | And I was like, I will learn nothing from this. | 我当时想,我不会从中吸取教训。 |
| 775 | And so then I was like, that's what kind of was like, | 然后我就想,这就是那种感觉, |
| 776 | this is a tipping point. | 这是一个临界点。 |
| 777 | My dad was like, just come home. | 我爸爸就像,刚回家。 |
| 778 | Let's learn about your brain. | 让我们来了解你的大脑。 |
| 779 | And if it's ADHD, we'll figure out what to do. | 如果这是ADHD,我们会想办法的。 |
| 780 | If it's not, we'll figure out something else to do. | 如果不是,我们会想办法的 |
| 781 | So we went home. | 所以我们回家了。 |
| 782 | Like just did this whole library excursion. | 就像刚刚做的 整个图书馆游览。 |
| 783 | We were sitting on the floor, reading articles. | 我们坐在地上看文章 |
| 784 | Learn everything. | 学一切法. |
| 785 | And by the end of it, I was like, this is for sure me. | 到了最后,我一直想,这是肯定的我。 |
| 786 | And this is what we kind of made a plan and started working | 这就是我们的计划 并开始工作 |
| 787 | on both like the behavioral side and the medication side | 就像行为和药物一样 |
| 788 | trying to figure out a good path forward from there. | 试着从那里找到一条好的道路 |
| 789 | I forgot what the actual question was. | 我忘了真正的问题是什么 |
| 790 | I mean, you learning about your parents, you know, kind of lying | 我的意思是,你知道 你的父母,你知道, 一种说谎 |
| 791 | to you, I guess, about the vitamin being medication | 对你,我猜, 关于维生素是药物 |
| 792 | and you being upset and then you realizing, okay, this is | 你心烦意乱 然后你意识到,好吧,这是 |
| 793 | I'm going to prove them wrong and realizing that the test | 我要证明他们错了 并意识到测试 |
| 794 | I did not do them wrong. | 我没有做错。 |
| 795 | That could have been one off though, because you were like, | 这可能是一个例外,虽然, 因为你喜欢, |
| 796 | you proved that you knew the information. | 你证明了你知道信息 |
| 797 | You studied hard and you had the answer. | 你努力学习,你得到了答案。 |
| 798 | I got a serpent score in the first half. | 上半场我得到蛇分 |
| 799 | So it's, I mean, in some ways you did prove them wrong, but yeah, | 所以,我的意思是,在某些方面,你确实证明他们错了,但是是的, |
| 800 | you forgot to flip the page. | 你忘了翻页 |
| 801 | So yeah, I think it's, it was just an interesting kind | 所以,是的,我认为这是, 它只是一个有趣的类型 |
| 802 | of trajectory. | 轨迹。 |
| 803 | I think they really handled it beautifully. | 我觉得他们真的处理得很好 |
| 804 | Like if in that moment, like going back and being able to, | 碞钩ê 碞钩妓 |
| 805 | you know, my dad in particular, he was an engineer | 特别是我爸爸 他是个工程师 |
| 806 | and he just, you know, was like my second brain. | 他就像我的第二个大脑一样 |
| 807 | He was just trying to help me and he was like, well, let's look | 他只是想帮我,他想,好吧,让我们看看 |
| 808 | at, let's look at the data. | 我们看看数据 |
| 809 | Let's look at how you answered these questions. | 让我们看看你是如何回答这些问题的。 |
| 810 | Where was the problem? | 问题在哪里? |
| 811 | And really like without his help, I wouldn't have gotten through | 并且真的喜欢没有他的帮助, 我不可能通过 |
| 812 | medical school because I was learning so much about my brain | 医学院因为我学习了很多我的大脑 |
| 813 | and learning about how I learned and how I handled things. | 并学习如何学习 如何处理事情。 |
| 814 | And I think part of that diagnostic thing is ADHD aside. | 我认为诊断的一部分是ADHD。 |
| 815 | I remember where the question was going. | 我记得问题在哪里 |
| 816 | ADHD aside, the emotional regulation, I figured out much, | ADHD,除了情绪调节, 我发现很多, |
| 817 | much later and it wasn't until my dad died. | 很久以后,直到我爸爸去世才开始 |
| 818 | That's when you figured out emotional regulation. | 那时你才想到情绪调节 |
| 819 | That's when I figured out for the first time. | 於是初发心. |
| 820 | So my dad died in 2024 relatively quick. | 我爸爸在2024年去世 时间比较快 |
| 821 | Like he had been sick for a while with an underlying lung | 好像有段时间他肺部有问题 |
| 822 | condition, but had been stable. | 情况,但一直稳定。 |
| 823 | And then he, we found out he had a spot like lung cancer stage | 然后,我们发现 他有一个像肺癌阶段 |
| 824 | one, they were like, don't worry about it. | 一,他们就像, 不要担心。 |
| 825 | Like, it's not that big of a deal. | 这没什么大不了的 |
| 826 | He does radiation, does chemo. | 他做辐射,化疗。 |
| 827 | And then he called me and he was like, something's wrong. | 然后他打电话给我,他喜欢, 东西的错。 |
| 828 | So I fly from Kansas City to him. | 所以我从堪萨斯城飞到他身边 |
| 829 | I like, he looked terrible. | 我喜欢,他看起来很糟糕。 |
| 830 | I was, took him to the hospital and I was like, do something, | 我送他去医院,我想,做点什么 |
| 831 | do a PET scan. | 做个PET扫描 |
| 832 | We need it. | 我们需要它。 |
| 833 | And they're like, it's too early. | 他们喜欢,这是为时尚早。 |
| 834 | I'm like, just do one. | 我很喜欢,只要做一个。 |
| 835 | I don't care. | 我无所谓 |
| 836 | Like, let's just figure out what's happening here. | 像,让我们只是 找出这里发生了什么。 |
| 837 | It was everywhere, ever. | 到处都是,从来没有。 |
| 838 | And he died 13 days later. | 而他13天后就去世了. |
| 839 | No way. | 不会吧 |
| 840 | Yeah. | 对 |
| 841 | Oh my gosh. | 天呐 |
| 842 | And so at that point, I think just like the whiplash of all of that | 所以,在这一点上,我觉得就像鞭打 所有这一切 |
| 843 | and just how heavily emotional it was, | 和多么强烈的情感, |
| 844 | that was the first time, Louis, that I was like, | 这是第一次,路易,我很喜欢, |
| 845 | my emotional status directly impacts my functional status. | 我的情绪状态直接影响到我的功能状态。 |
| 846 | If I am emotional and emotionally overwhelmed, | 如果我情绪和情感都压抑 |
| 847 | I can't do these things. | 我不能做这些事情。 |
| 848 | So I was like, and I had seen that before with like breakups | 所以我就喜欢,我以前也见过 和分手一样 |
| 849 | and other things like that where things happened. | 还有其他事情发生的地方 |
| 850 | But I didn't tie those two things together because like, | 但我没有把这两件事联系起来 因为... |
| 851 | if it's overwhelmed, because I have tons on my plate, | 如果它不堪重负, 因为我有吨在我的盘子里, |
| 852 | I will delegate. | 我将代表。 |
| 853 | I will hack my way around. | 我会黑我的方式。 |
| 854 | I will figure out a skill, | 我会想办法的 |
| 855 | but I can't delegate the emotional side. | 但我不能代表情绪方面。 |
| 856 | And so that's when I figured out that. | 于是我明白了这一点。 |
| 857 | And that's when I started writing them. | 那时我开始写作。 |
| 858 | Yeah. | 对 |
| 859 | For me, it was the emotional side of thing would take over my life | 对我来说 事情的情感会取代我的生活 |
| 860 | when I would feel too deeply or the range of emotions, guilt, | 当我感到太深 或范围 情感,内疚, |
| 861 | loss, shame, anger, whatever the emotion was, sadness. | 失去,羞耻,愤怒, 无论情感是什么,悲伤。 |
| 862 | But deep. | 但深处. |
| 863 | Deep. | 深处. |
| 864 | It would suffocate me. | 那会让我窒息的 |
| 865 | It would engulf my life. | 它会吞噬我的生活。 |
| 866 | And I couldn't turn it off. | 我不能关掉它。 |
| 867 | Yeah. | 对 |
| 868 | If I was at the office or if I was, you know, | 如果我在办公室,或者,如果我在,你知道, |
| 869 | I would literally just kind of just stay home by myself. | 我其实只是 那种只是留在家里自己。 |
| 870 | No, you thought. | 不,你认为。 |
| 871 | Because I didn't know how to emotionally navigate those things, | 因为我不知道如何在情感上导航这些东西, |
| 872 | those feelings for a long time. | 长久以来的感情 |
| 873 | And it would suffocate me. | 这会让我窒息 |
| 874 | My whole life would be suffocated by emotions. | 我的一生都会被情绪压抑 |
| 875 | Yeah. | 对 |
| 876 | And that's when I became kind of not obsessed, | 那时我变得不着迷 |
| 877 | but really all in on like, okay, why? | 但实际上所有在像,好吧,为什么? |
| 878 | Why is this happening? | 为什么这样? |
| 879 | Yeah. | 对 |
| 880 | And that's where I asked you in the beginning, | 我一开始就问过你 |
| 881 | learning how to heal traumatic memories that cause the emotional avalanche | 学会如何治愈造成情感雪崩的创伤记忆 |
| 882 | to take over my life. | 接管我的生活。 |
| 883 | Once I learned emotional regulation and healing traumatic memories | 有一次我学会了情绪调节 和治愈创伤的记忆 |
| 884 | that were triggering the emotions, causing the hypervigilance | 激起情绪,引起过度活力 |
| 885 | because of an emotion tied to a memory that I had yet to heal, | 因为一种情绪 与记忆,我还没有治愈, |
| 886 | an open wound from the past that when you poked it, boom, | 一个从过去开出的伤口 当你戳它,砰, |
| 887 | my whole nervous system would just be in pain. | 我的整个神经系统都会很痛苦 |
| 888 | And the bigger the trigger or the bigger the perceived abuse | 扳机越大 感觉越虐待 |
| 889 | or perceived abandonment or whatever the wound was, | 或认为被遗弃 或无论伤口, |
| 890 | the perception of whether it was real or not perceived, | 对它是否真实的看法, |
| 891 | I didn't know how to navigate it. | 我不知道怎么导航 |
| 892 | And so that's why I asked you in the beginning, | 所以我一开始就问你 |
| 893 | when we learn, I think, the ability to navigate our emotions | 当我们学会,我想, 能力引导我们的情绪 |
| 894 | and we can use a lot of the skills you talk about in your book, | 我们可以用你书里讲的很多技巧 |
| 895 | we can come back to the present. | 我们可以回到现在 |
| 896 | We can hopefully learn to integrate the healing journey. | 希望我们能学会把疗程融为一体 |
| 897 | We can hopefully have a moment to refocus our energy on what's at hand, | 希望我们能有一点时间 重新把精力集中在手头 |
| 898 | whether it being present with someone, whether it being our job, | 无论它存在与某人, 无论它是我们的工作, |
| 899 | whether it being whatever things we need to do, | 无论我们需要做什么 |
| 900 | instead of being engulfed in the feelings consuming us | 而不是被吞没在 折磨我们的感情中 |
| 901 | and constantly ruminating on the event that happened | 不停地盘旋着所发生的事件 |
| 902 | that caused this feeling. | 这导致了这种感觉。 |
| 903 | And I think when we can learn those emotional regulation skills | 我想当我们能学会这些情绪调节技巧时 |
| 904 | like you talk about here, | 就像你在这里谈论, |
| 905 | it doesn't mean bad things aren't going to happen | 这并不意味着坏事不会发生 |
| 906 | that we need to face like the loss of your father, | 我们需要像失去你父亲一样面对 |
| 907 | it's going to be overwhelming. | 这将是压倒性。 |
| 908 | But hopefully it doesn't take years of your life away | 但希望你不用花几年时间 |
| 909 | from you living in the present now. | 从你现在生活在现在。 |
| 910 | And that's what it's felt like in the past. | 而过去所感. |
| 911 | When you get that hit with something so emotionally, | 当你被情感上的东西击中时 |
| 912 | it does take away years of your life. | 这的确需要你生命的岁月 |
| 913 | This is what you go to sleep thinking about. | 这就是你睡觉时想的 |
| 914 | This is what you wake up thinking about. | 这就是你醒来时想的 |
| 915 | It consumes you. | 它会吞噬你 |
| 916 | And when you're right in the throw of it, | 当你正中下怀的时候 |
| 917 | you're just like, this will never end. | 你只是喜欢, 这永远不会结束。 |
| 918 | I'm going to feel this way forever. | 我会永远有这种感觉的 |
| 919 | It just takes up so much mental space, emotional space, | 它只是占用了这么多的 精神空间,情感空间, |
| 920 | having to deal with that. | 不得不处理。 |
| 921 | And for people who do feel deeply, | 对那些感觉很深的人来说 |
| 922 | they feel it more. | 他们更能感觉到 |
| 923 | I mean, it seems like women often get told | 我的意思是,似乎女人经常被告知 |
| 924 | that they have anxiety or depression for years | 他们有焦虑或抑郁多年。 |
| 925 | before someone checks that it's potentially ADHD | 在有人确认有可能是ADHD之前 |
| 926 | or something else. | 或别的东西。 |
| 927 | Why do you think that happens to women specifically? | 为什么你认为这发生在女人身上? |
| 928 | Oh my God. | 天呐 |
| 929 | I think like if you're talking about ADHD specifically, | 我认为,如果你在谈论 具体的ADHD, |
| 930 | and these are women who have been misdiagnosed | 这些是被误诊的妇女, |
| 931 | with anxiety and depression, | 焦虑和忧郁, |
| 932 | you go back and one big thing is that | 你回去,还有一件大事 |
| 933 | the diagnostic criteria, | 诊断标准, |
| 934 | it's not built to capture women. | 不是用来抓女人的 |
| 935 | So it's not built to capture, | 所以它不是用来捕捉的 |
| 936 | it's built on hyper young boys. | 它是建立在超年轻男孩身上。 |
| 937 | It's not capturing adult females. | 它没有捕获成年雌性。 |
| 938 | Like you're not really getting that presentation. | 就像你没有真正得到 演示。 |
| 939 | The second thing that I think is a big factor in this | 我认为第二件事 是一个很大的因素 |
| 940 | is just the hormonal component. | 只是荷尔蒙成分 |
| 941 | So hormonally, when your estrogen drops, | 荷尔蒙说,当你的雌激素下降, |
| 942 | your dopamine drops as well. | 你的多巴胺滴也一样。 |
| 943 | And dopamine is that great regulator | 多巴胺是伟大的调节器 |
| 944 | that kind of helps everything with mood and alertness. | 那种帮助一切的情绪和警惕。 |
| 945 | And so when you have that drop in dopamine, | 所以当你有多巴胺的下降, |
| 946 | your ADHD symptoms get worse. | 你的ADHD症状会恶化 |
| 947 | Problem is, is that so does mood, | 问题是 情绪也是 |
| 948 | so do all these other things. | 所以,所有这些事情。 |
| 949 | And so you're being told, | 所以,你被告知, |
| 950 | just hormonal, this is postpartum. | 只是荷尔蒙,这是产后。 |
| 951 | It's not that big of a deal. | 没什么大不了的 |
| 952 | You'll get through it. | 你会熬过去的 |
| 953 | Or you get treated for anxiety, | 或者因为焦虑而接受治疗 |
| 954 | you get treated for depression, | 你被治疗抑郁症, |
| 955 | when really it's the secondary ADHD | 当它真的是二级ADHD |
| 956 | that's complicating things as well. | 这也使事情变得复杂。 |
| 957 | Third thing is that I feel like women | 第三件事是我觉得我像女人 |
| 958 | from just like a societal perspective, | 从社会的角度来说 |
| 959 | it's unacceptable for them to be rambunctious | 他们放肆是无法接受的 |
| 960 | or, you know, interrupting things | 或者,你知道,打断事情 |
| 961 | or, you know, get up and move around. | 或者,你知道,起来,移动。 |
| 962 | A lot of times they learn from an early age, | 很多时候他们从小就学会了 |
| 963 | they have to mask their symptoms. | 他们必须掩盖他们的症状。 |
| 964 | And so as time goes by, | 随着时间的推移, |
| 965 | they get better and better at doing that. | 他们越来越擅长这样做。 |
| 966 | It's not that the symptoms go away. | 不是症状消失了。 |
| 967 | It's not that the symptoms aren't impacting them. | 并不是症状没有影响他们 |
| 968 | They're just really good at compensating | 他们只是非常善于补偿 |
| 969 | and getting past it and blending into society better, | 渡过难关,更好地融入社会, |
| 970 | all while taking that on as a huge toll on themselves. | 却让自己付出了巨大的代价 |
| 971 | And so now you get, you know, | 现在你得到,你知道, |
| 972 | 10, 15, 20 years down the line. | 10,15,20年下线. |
| 973 | And these women are like, | 这些女人就像, |
| 974 | okay, enough's enough. | 好了,够了。 |
| 975 | Let's go and get diagnosed. | 我们去找医生吧 |
| 976 | And then the doctor's like, | 然后医生说, |
| 977 | you would have known if you had it before, | 你早就知道 如果你有它之前, |
| 978 | that you're doing too well. | 说你做的太好。 |
| 979 | And so it's just, it's a system | 所以这只是一个系统 |
| 980 | that wasn't built for women. | 这不是为女人而建的 |
| 981 | Do you think just modern society life | 你认为只是现代的社会生活 |
| 982 | is causing a lot of anxiety, depression and ADHD | 引起很多焦虑,抑郁和ADHD |
| 983 | versus, I don't know, living on a farm | 对,我不知道,住在农场里 |
| 984 | and working hard with your family unit | 并努力与你的家庭单位 |
| 985 | back in the day or something like that? | 回到从前什么的? |
| 986 | Is it just modern society is causing so much overwhelm | 是现代社会 造成了如此巨大的困扰 |
| 987 | of the brain and the emotions | 大脑和情绪 |
| 988 | to be able to navigate all that's happening? | 能驾驭所有发生的事情? |
| 989 | I think right now it's hard. | 我认为现在很难。 |
| 990 | We're living in a really hard world. | 我们生活在一个非常艰难的世界。 |
| 991 | It's hard every which way you look at it, | 你从哪方面看都很难 |
| 992 | which is why I think discussions | 所以我觉得讨论 |
| 993 | about emotional regulation | 关于情绪调节 |
| 994 | are especially important right now. | 现在尤为重要 |
| 995 | But I think does this increasingly | 但我认为这越来越 |
| 996 | digital overwhelming world, | 数字世界, |
| 997 | does that cause ADHD? | 这是否会导致ADHD? |
| 998 | No. | 没有 |
| 999 | Does it worsen ADHD? | 它会恶化ADHD吗? |
| 1000 | For sure. | 当然 |
| 1001 | So I think there is an exacerbation | 所以,我认为有 恶化 |
| 1002 | of all of these things just because | 所有这些事情 只是因为 |
| 1003 | we're living in this extremely chaotic timeline | 我们生活在这个极其混乱的时间线里 |
| 1004 | with so many things happening. | 发生了很多事 |
| 1005 | So many, like I have an eight-year-old girl | 这么多,像我有一个八岁女孩 |
| 1006 | and she sees me on my phone | 她看着我的手机 |
| 1007 | and she was talking about like, | 她当时在说 |
| 1008 | I want a phone too. | 我也想要电话 |
| 1009 | And I was like, no, never. | 而我就像,没有,从来没有。 |
| 1010 | And she's like, well, why? | 她就像,为什么? |
| 1011 | That's not fair. | 这不公平 |
| 1012 | Why do you have a phone? | 你为什么有电话? |
| 1013 | There's literally nothing good | 什么都没有 |
| 1014 | that lives in my phone. | 住在我的电话里 |
| 1015 | I want to throw it into the sun. | 欲投于阳. |
| 1016 | The phone, I feel like that's where I've fed it. | 电话,我觉得那是我喂它的地方 |
| 1017 | Like a lot of times social media | 像很多时候社交媒体 |
| 1018 | is so dark and difficult. | 如此黑暗和艰难。 |
| 1019 | And like it just, it wears on you | 就像它一样 它穿在你身上 |
| 1020 | just being a human right now. | 只是一个现在的人权。 |
| 1021 | Yeah. | 对 |
| 1022 | I'm a psychiatrist. | 我是心理医生 |
| 1023 | So just modern society is hard in general. | 所以,只是现代社会 总的来说很难。 |
| 1024 | Like everything's happening. | 譬如一切众生. |
| 1025 | Yeah, I kind of feel blessed that | 是啊,我有点觉得幸运 |
| 1026 | I didn't get a phone until I was like 17 | 我17岁才接到电话 |
| 1027 | or 18. | 或18岁。 |
| 1028 | So I kind of missed that window | 所以我错过了那扇窗户 |
| 1029 | of being on screens, really. | 被显示在屏幕上,真的。 |
| 1030 | I guess I played like maybe a little bit | 我想我玩的好像有点像 |
| 1031 | of like video games, like maybe, | 像电子游戏,也许, |
| 1032 | but I was more- | 但我更喜欢... |
| 1033 | Super Nintendo? | 超级任天堂? |
| 1034 | I think so. | 我想是这样。 |
| 1035 | I mean, I was more into like, | 我的意思是,我更喜欢, |
| 1036 | we didn't have enough money | 我们没有足够的钱 |
| 1037 | to have a Nintendo until years later, | 拥有任天堂直到数年后, |
| 1038 | but I would like go to the arcade | 但我想去街机那边 |
| 1039 | and like it was like a set amount of time | 就像是固定的时间 |
| 1040 | and I didn't have enough money | 我没有足够的钱 |
| 1041 | to be there for hours. | 在那里呆上几个小时 |
| 1042 | So like how many quarters do you have? | 所以,你有多少个季度? |
| 1043 | But I was more in the sports world | 但我更在运动界 |
| 1044 | where it was just like after school, | 就像放学后一样 |
| 1045 | I'm playing in the playground, | 我在游乐场玩 |
| 1046 | I'm doing sports activities. | 我在做运动 |
| 1047 | I was always out playing. | 我总是在外面玩。 |
| 1048 | And then I come home at night, | 然后我晚上回来 |
| 1049 | have dinner and is like, | 吃晚饭,就像, |
| 1050 | maybe later I had like a little bit of time, | 也许以后我还有一点时间 |
| 1051 | but I wasn't really interested | 但我没兴趣 |
| 1052 | in playing video games when I was older | 在我大的时候玩电子游戏 |
| 1053 | because I wanted to get better at sports. | 因为我想在运动上得到更好的。 |
| 1054 | So I kind of missed that window | 所以我错过了那扇窗户 |
| 1055 | of being a kid in this generation | 这代人还是个孩子 |
| 1056 | where you got phones early | 你早点接到电话 |
| 1057 | or your parents had phone | 或者你父母有电话 |
| 1058 | and you're playing the games with them | 你和他们玩游戏 |
| 1059 | 或 iPads 。 (笑声) | |
| 1060 | I kind of missed that. | 我有点错过了 |
| 1061 | But as a parent of two, | 但作为两个孩子的父母 |
| 1062 | twin girls right now, | 双胞胎女孩现在 |
| 1063 | what advice would you have for me | 你对我有什么建议? |
| 1064 | 在iPads,iPhones周围, | |
| 1065 | screen time, | 屏幕时间, |
| 1066 | cartoons, movies for my kids | 动画片、电影给我孩子看 |
| 1067 | or any parents for their kids | 或任何父母为孩子 |
| 1068 | if they want to have healthy young kids | 如果他们想生健康的孩子 |
| 1069 | that have fewer chances | 机会更少 |
| 1070 | of getting anxiety, depression and ADHD? | 焦虑,抑郁和ADHD? |
| 1071 | So I don't think screens | 所以我不认为屏幕 |
| 1072 | 将引起ADHD。 | |
| 1073 | I think they could worsen | 我觉得他们可能会恶化 |
| 1074 | 绝对的ADHD。 | |
| 1075 | Screens do fragment focus. | 银幕是片段焦点 |
| 1076 | So in that early developmental period | 所以在那个早期的发育期 |
| 1077 | from zero to two, | 从0到2, |
| 1078 | that's really when you're still | 那时你还是 |
| 1079 | so neuroplastic, | 所以神经塑料, |
| 1080 | you're learning things, | 你学的东西, |
| 1081 | even though you're not | 虽然你不是 |
| 1082 | up and about doing all those things, | 继续做这些事情, |
| 1083 | you're learning kind of | 你在学习一种 |
| 1084 | the flow of the world, | 世界之流, |
| 1085 | you're learning how to encapsulate attention, | 你正在学习如何封装注意力, |
| 1086 | you're building all of that | 你建造这一切 |
| 1087 | gray and white matter | 灰白色物质 |
| 1088 | and trying to figure out | 并试图找出 |
| 1089 | what your brain is doing, | 你的大脑在做什么, |
| 1090 | how it's going to be wired, right? | 如何是线,对不对? |
| 1091 | So I am never going to be the person | 所以,我永远不会成为一个人 |
| 1092 | who's like, absolutely. | 绝对是 |
| 1093 | My mom is that person. | 我妈妈就是那个人 |
| 1094 | My mom's a pediatrician | 我妈是儿科医生 |
| 1095 | and she is like, | 她喜欢, |
| 1096 | don't do screens. | 别做屏幕。 |
| 1097 | And I was like, | 我当时想, |
| 1098 | I literally grew up on a TV. | 我在电视上长大的 |
| 1099 | Sitting in front of the TV. | 坐电视前. |
| 1100 | Sitting in front like this far away from her TV. | 坐在前面像离电视这么远 |
| 1101 | And so I know that for a lot of parents, | 所以我知道对很多父母来说 |
| 1102 | screen time is truly a tool | 屏幕时间确实是一个工具 |
| 1103 | so that the parent or his or herself | 因此,父母或他或她 |
| 1104 | can take a break and do... | 可以休息一会儿然后... |
| 1105 | And have an hour to themselves. | 并有一个小时 自己。 |
| 1106 | Can make dinner, | 能做饭 |
| 1107 | can do the laundry, | 能洗个澡 |
| 1108 | can just go to the bathroom. | 可以去厕所。 |
| 1109 | Totally. | 当然 |
| 1110 | So I don't think | 所以我不认为 |
| 1111 | if you have an excessive amount of guilt | 如果你有罪过重 |
| 1112 | and shame about stuff like that, | 和羞耻的东西这样的, |
| 1113 | it's all about moderation to me. | 这对我来说都是温和 |
| 1114 | I think if there is a way | 我想如果有办法 |
| 1115 | that you are able to minimize screen time, | 您能够最小化屏幕时间, |
| 1116 | use more integrated play | 使用更集成的游戏 |
| 1117 | and movement | 流动 |
| 1118 | and other interactions | 其他互动 |
| 1119 | that are screen free, | 这是免费的屏幕, |
| 1120 | your kid is more likely | 你的孩子比较有可能 |
| 1121 | {\fn黑体\fs22\bord1\shad0\3aHBE\4aH00\fscx67\fscy66\2cHFFFFFF\3cH808080}我从小到小 | |
| 1122 | But if you still have screens, | 但如果你还有屏幕 |
| 1123 | and I will tell you, | 我会告诉你, |
| 1124 | my kids had screens, | 我的孩子有屏幕, |
| 1125 | not of their own, | 不是他们自己的, |
| 1126 | but they were exposed to it | 但他们却暴露在其中, |
| 1127 | at different points in their lives | 在他们生命的不同阶段 |
| 1128 | and there are still times | 仍然有时间 |
| 1129 | where I'm like, | 在那里我喜欢, |
| 1130 | okay, I need to finish this last patient | 好吧,我需要完成这个最后一个病人 |
| 1131 | and if you guys are around | 如果你们在附近 |
| 1132 | and I'm trying to play with you, | 我试着跟你玩 |
| 1133 | there's no way I can do that. | 我无法做到这一点。 |
| 1134 | Here's a show. | 这里有场演出。 |
| 1135 | It's 26 minutes long. | 全长26分钟. |
| 1136 | So I think it's all about moderation. | 所以我觉得这都是温和 |
| 1137 | If someone is, | 如果有人是这样 |
| 1138 | 他们没有ADHD, | |
| 1139 | they don't have anxiety and depression, | 他们没有焦虑和抑郁, |
| 1140 | but they are just feeling overwhelmed a lot | 但他们只是觉得不堪重负 |
| 1141 | and they feel like they don't know | 他们觉得自己不知道 |
| 1142 | how to reclaim their thoughts, | 如何恢复他们的想法, |
| 1143 | their emotions, | 他们的情绪, |
| 1144 | but they're not diagnosed | 但他们没有被诊断 |
| 1145 | with one of these things. | 这些东西之一。 |
| 1146 | What's an emotional tool | 什么样的情感工具 |
| 1147 | that you talk about | 你说的 |
| 1148 | that people could use | 人们可以使用 |
| 1149 | if they're just feeling like | 如果他们只是觉得 |
| 1150 | life is so hard right now, | 生活是如此艰难 现在, |
| 1151 | I'm overwhelmed, | 我无法承受 |
| 1152 | I'm overworked, | 我太劳累了 |
| 1153 | I'm feeling stressed, | 我觉得压力很大 |
| 1154 | I can't reclaim my focus, | 我不能恢复我的焦点, |
| 1155 | what's an emotional tool | 什么样的情感工具 |
| 1156 | they can use right now to help them? | 他们现在可以帮助他们吗? |
| 1157 | So I, again, | 所以我,再说一遍, |
| 1158 | a lot of the tools in this book | 这本书的许多工具 |
| 1159 | are stuff that you've heard about | 你听说过的 |
| 1160 | or probably have been told. | 或可能已经被告知。 |
| 1161 | For example, | 举例来说, |
| 1162 | anytime I was in these spirals | 每当我在这种螺旋 |
| 1163 | of overwhelm or things like that, | 以覆没或象那样的东西盟誓, |
| 1164 | take a deep breath | 深呼吸一点 |
| 1165 | and I'm like, | 而我喜欢, |
| 1166 | get out of here with that. | 离开这儿吧 |
| 1167 | I don't want to hear that from you, | 我不想听你这么说 |
| 1168 | but if I arrived at that conclusion myself, | 如果我自己得出这个结论 |
| 1169 | I somehow think | 我觉得 |
| 1170 | it's like the greatest breakthrough | 这就像最伟大的突破 |
| 1171 | of all time. | 永远的 |
| 1172 | But I think one of the best things | 但我认为最好的一件事 |
| 1173 | is the way we talk about | 我们谈论的方式 |
| 1174 | emotional sensitivity | 情绪敏感性 |
| 1175 | and dysregulation | 和困难 |
| 1176 | and overwhelm | 和覆没, |
| 1177 | is also understanding | 也是个理解 |
| 1178 | that it can present very differently. | 它可以呈现出非常不同的。 |
| 1179 | There are times where | 有的时候 |
| 1180 | I feel very overwhelmed | 我觉得非常不堪重负 |
| 1181 | and my initial impulse | 我最初的冲动 |
| 1182 | is to be recluse | 将被隔离 |
| 1183 | and to withdraw | 并退出 |
| 1184 | and be quiet | 安静点 |
| 1185 | and go do that. | 去做到这一点。 |
| 1186 | Then there are times | 那时有的时候 |
| 1187 | where I'm emotionally overwhelmed | 我情绪不堪重负 |
| 1188 | and I am pacing | 我步履维艰 |
| 1189 | and I'm like talking out loud | 我就像大声说话 |
| 1190 | and I'm like trying my best | 我就像尽我所能 |
| 1191 | to kind of work through it. | 以工作的方式通过它。 |
| 1192 | If I am in a spot | 如果我在一个地方 |
| 1193 | where I'm like by myself and withdrawn, | 在那里,我像自己 和退出, |
| 1194 | I probably do have the capacity | 我也许有这个能力 |
| 1195 | where I could be like, | 在那里我可以喜欢, |
| 1196 | okay, let me take a deep breath. | 好吧,让我深呼吸。 |
| 1197 | Let me do this | 让我来 |
| 1198 | because I'm already kind of | 因为我已经有点 |
| 1199 | on the quiet side | 在安静的一侧 |
| 1200 | and I'm by myself | 我一个人 |
| 1201 | and I can, | 我也会 |
| 1202 | I may be more likely to do that. | 我可能更可能这样做。 |
| 1203 | If I'm pacing around, | 如果我走动, |
| 1204 | telling me to slow down | 让我慢下来 |
| 1205 | and take a deep breath | 深呼吸一点 |
| 1206 | feels so much harder. | 感觉好难受 |
| 1207 | Yeah. | 对 |
| 1208 | So that time | 那段时间 |
| 1209 | when my nervous system | 当我的神经系统 |
| 1210 | is literally on fire, | 完全着火了, |
| 1211 | I lean into it. | 我靠着它。 |
| 1212 | Like I need to use movement. | 就像我需要使用运动。 |
| 1213 | I need to somehow push | 我总得推一把 |
| 1214 | that oxygenated glucose | 那个含氧的葡萄糖 |
| 1215 | into my frontal lobe | 进入我的前叶 |
| 1216 | so I can think my way out of this. | 这样我就能想出办法了 |
| 1217 | So this is like, | 这就像, |
| 1218 | give me an example | 举个例子 |
| 1219 | being on this press tour | 参加这次新闻巡演 |
| 1220 | and for this book, | 和这本书, |
| 1221 | it's just, first of all, | 这只是,首先, |
| 1222 | writing a book about rejection | 写一本关于拒绝的书 |
| 1223 | then pick on a press tour. | 然后去参观新闻 |
| 1224 | There are the 10 would not recommend. | 有10个不会建议。 |
| 1225 | But I had, you know, | 但我有,你知道吗, |
| 1226 | these podcasts lined up | 这些播客排队 |
| 1227 | and one of the podcasts | 和一个播客, |
| 1228 | pulled out two days | 拔出两天 |
| 1229 | before I was supposed to film. | 在我应该拍电影之前 |
| 1230 | And I- | 还有... |
| 1231 | How did it make you feel? | 感觉怎么样? |
| 1232 | God, like trash. | 上帝,像垃圾一样。 |
| 1233 | So I was just like, | 所以我就说, |
| 1234 | I am just not a big enough deal | 我只是不够大 |
| 1235 | and that's why they canceled. | 这就是为什么他们取消了。 |
| 1236 | I, they feels like | 我,他们觉得 |
| 1237 | I'm bad for their brand. | 我不适合他们的品牌。 |
| 1238 | They don't want to talk | 他们不想说话 |
| 1239 | about emotional sensitivity. | 关于情感敏感性。 |
| 1240 | The book is stupid. | 这书太蠢了 |
| 1241 | I'm stupid. | 我太蠢了,我是个笨蛋 |
| 1242 | Like it just, | 就像这样, |
| 1243 | it went from zero to 60 | 从零到60 |
| 1244 | really quickly | 快点 |
| 1245 | and I was sitting on the couch | 我坐在沙发上 |
| 1246 | with my husband | 和我丈夫在一起 和他在一起的时候 |
| 1247 | and I just started getting up | 我刚起身 |
| 1248 | and I started pacing around | 我开始四处走动 |
| 1249 | and he's like, | 他喜欢, |
| 1250 | okay, something's happening. | 好吧,有事发生。 |
| 1251 | And then I remembered like, | 然后我想起来... |
| 1252 | okay, I know what's happening. | 好吧,我知道发生了什么。 |
| 1253 | My amygdala is spinning out of control. | 我的阿米格达拉失控了 |
| 1254 | I'm dumping alarm chemicals. | 我在倾倒警报化学物质 |
| 1255 | I need that frontal lobe to kick on. | 我需要那个前叶来踢 |
| 1256 | But I, it's hard | 但我,这很难 |
| 1257 | because I can't think my way out of this. | 因为我想不出来 |
| 1258 | I can't even think about an alternative | 我甚至想不出别的办法 |
| 1259 | {\fn黑体\fs22\bord1\shad0\3aHBE\4aH00\fscx67\fscy66\2cHFFFFFF\3cH808080}对发生了什么 | |
| 1260 | because I'm so convinced | 因为我深信不疑 |
| 1261 | this is happening. | 这正在发生。 |
| 1262 | And so I had seen like a couple | 所以我看到了像一对夫妇 |
| 1263 | of days prior to that, | 之前几天, |
| 1264 | like, you know, | 喜欢,你知道, |
| 1265 | someone was talking about | 有人在说 |
| 1266 | like the benefit of doing squats | 就像蹲下一样 |
| 1267 | like for like longevity | 就像长寿一样 |
| 1268 | and like muscle health | 就像肌肉健康一样 |
| 1269 | and brain health. | 和脑健康。 |
| 1270 | And I was like, great. | 我当时感觉很好 |
| 1271 | So I'm like going from pacing | 所以,我就像从距离 |
| 1272 | to all of a sudden doing squats in front | 突然在前面蹲着 |
| 1273 | and my husband is just like, | 我丈夫就那样 |
| 1274 | what are you doing? | 你在干吗? |
| 1275 | And so I'm doing squats | 所以我在蹲着 |
| 1276 | and like it's like less than two minutes | 就像不到两分钟 |
| 1277 | and I'm like, okay, I stop. | 我就像,好吧,我停下来。 |
| 1278 | I sit down again. | 我又坐下来 |
| 1279 | I reread the email | 我重读邮件 |
| 1280 | and this time I'm like, | 而这次我就像, |
| 1281 | this is the first time | 这是第一次 |
| 1282 | that I reread the email | 我重读邮件 |
| 1283 | and I saw the words | 我看见那些话 |
| 1284 | due to a family emergency. | 因为家庭紧急情况 |
| 1285 | Did not even read that the first time. | 第一次都没读过 |
| 1286 | And I was like, okay, | 我当时想,好吧, |
| 1287 | that I can, that I can stomach. | 我能够,我可以胃。 |
| 1288 | And then two hours later | 两小时后 |
| 1289 | I get a thing where they're like, | 我得到的东西,他们喜欢, |
| 1290 | they wanted to float you | 他们想把你浮起来 |
| 1291 | this different date. | 这个不同的日期。 |
| 1292 | And I was like, okay, right. | 我就像,好吧,没错。 |
| 1293 | Well, so I mean, | 嗯,所以我说, |
| 1294 | I think it's all about like | 我想这是所有关于像 |
| 1295 | understanding how you present, | 了解你是如何呈现的, |
| 1296 | working with your body | 与身体一起工作 |
| 1297 | instead of fighting against it | 而不是与之斗争 |
| 1298 | and just using, | 刚刚使用, |
| 1299 | knowing when to apply the torture. | 了解何时实施酷刑。 |
| 1300 | What's happening in the brain | 大脑里发生了什么 |
| 1301 | in simple terms | 简而言之 |
| 1302 | when someone feels | 当有人感觉 |
| 1303 | a small moment of rejection | 一小会儿的拒绝 |
| 1304 | as overwhelming pain or anxiety. | 和极度痛苦或焦虑一样 |
| 1305 | So I think basically | 所以我认为基本上 |
| 1306 | from that fundamental perspective | 从这一根本角度出发 |
| 1307 | is that emotional threat center | 就是那个情绪威胁中心 |
| 1308 | of the brain, the amygdala | 大脑中的阿米格达拉 |
| 1309 | is very hyper responsive. | 反应非常迅速 |
| 1310 | It freaks out. | 吓坏了 |
| 1311 | It starts sending alarm chemicals | 它开始发送警报化学品 |
| 1312 | to the rest of the body | 对身体的其余部分 |
| 1313 | telling you like you're in danger | 告诉你自己有危险 |
| 1314 | and it's very much this | 和它是非常这样的 |
| 1315 | fight or flight response. | 战斗或飞行反应。 |
| 1316 | You're in danger. | 你身处险境. |
| 1317 | Something is wrong. | 有点不对劲 |
| 1318 | You need to either | 你也一样 |
| 1319 | get ready to throw hands | 准备好投手 |
| 1320 | or you need to get out of here | 或者你必须离开这里 |
| 1321 | or you need to freeze | 或需要冻结 |
| 1322 | because those are your options | 因为那是你的选择 |
| 1323 | {\fn黑体\fs22\bord1\shad0\3aHBE\4aH00\fscx67\fscy66\2cHFFFFFF\3cH808080}你已经知道了 | |
| 1324 | And all while this is going on | 在这一切发生的时候 |
| 1325 | your frontal lobe | 你的前叶 |
| 1326 | is supposed to help you | 应该是帮你的 |
| 1327 | do checks and balances | 进行制衡 |
| 1328 | and be like, | 和喜欢, |
| 1329 | this actually isn't totally accurate. | 这其实并不完全准确。 |
| 1330 | You can, you can calm it down | 你可以,你可以冷静下来 |
| 1331 | a little bit, | 一点点 |
| 1332 | but that is under responsive. | 但反应不足 |
| 1333 | So you're not getting | 所以,你没有得到 |
| 1334 | that checks and balances. | 制衡 |
| 1335 | So really you're at the mercy | 所以,你真的听从命令 |
| 1336 | of this emotional cascade slowing down. | 情感级联减速 |
| 1337 | So unless you have those skills | 除非你有这些技能 |
| 1338 | to help that happening | 帮助实现 |
| 1339 | you've just got to ride it out | 你只需要骑它出来 |
| 1340 | which it seems very unfair. | 这似乎非常不公平。 |
| 1341 | Yeah, that's tough. | 是啊,这是很难的。 |
| 1342 | Yeah. | 对 |
| 1343 | So you need the skills. | 所以你需要这些技能 |
| 1344 | You need the tools. | 你需要这些工具。 |
| 1345 | What's the most damaging piece | 什么是最有害的一块 |
| 1346 | of advice people with RSD get | 心理咨询 |
| 1347 | from well-meaning friends or family? | 从善意的朋友还是家人? |
| 1348 | Oh my God. | 天呐 |
| 1349 | Can I tell you when I hate the most? | 我最讨厌的时候能告诉你吗? |
| 1350 | Hopefully I haven't done this. | 希望我没这么做 |
| 1351 | No, and if you have straight to jail. | 不 如果你直接进监狱的话 |
| 1352 | Yeah, right. | 没错 |
| 1353 | Just calm down. | 冷静点 |
| 1354 | It's like, oh my God, | 这就像,哦,我的上帝, |
| 1355 | thank you so much. | 非常感谢 |
| 1356 | I never thought of that. | 我从来没有想过这一点。 |
| 1357 | Like that doesn't help me at all. | 就像那对我一点帮助都没有 |
| 1358 | And this is with someone | 这是与某人 |
| 1359 | has rejection sensitive dysphoria. | 有拒绝敏感障碍。 |
| 1360 | Yeah. | 对 |
| 1361 | So if I'm already feeling like my, | 所以,如果我已经 感觉像我, |
| 1362 | my entire brain and body | 我的整个大脑和身体 |
| 1363 | are responding to this rejection | 正在响应这个拒绝 |
| 1364 | or threat or criticism. | 或威胁或批评。 |
| 1365 | And I recognize in real time | 我实时认得 |
| 1366 | this is a huge response | 这是巨大的反应 |
| 1367 | and it's overwhelming. | 和它的压倒性。 |
| 1368 | Now you're telling me to calm down. | 现在你叫我冷静下来 |
| 1369 | Or relax or whatever. | 或者放轻松什么的 |
| 1370 | So what can someone say | 那么有人能说什么 |
| 1371 | when they see a friend, | 当他们看见一个朋友的时候, |
| 1372 | a loved one in their mind | 他们心中的爱人 |
| 1373 | looks like they're freaking out | 看来他们吓坏了 |
| 1374 | over nothing, you know, | 没有,你知道, |
| 1375 | to the person, | 对当事人, |
| 1376 | it's a big thing that's happening, | 这是一件大事正在发生, |
| 1377 | whether it's perceived or real. | 无论是感觉还是真实的 |
| 1378 | But in the friend's mind, | 但是在朋友的脑海里 |
| 1379 | like this isn't that big a deal | 像这样没什么大不了的 |
| 1380 | or it's all going to be okay. | 否则一切都会好的 |
| 1381 | Chill out, relax. | 冷静,放松。 |
| 1382 | What can that friend say or do instead? | 那个朋友能说什么呢? |
| 1383 | So this is something my husband does | 所以这是我丈夫做的事 |
| 1384 | so beautifully. | 这么漂亮。 |
| 1385 | And I think it was just intuitive for him. | 我觉得这对他来说只是直觉 |
| 1386 | But maybe it's been since | 但也许从那时起 |
| 1387 | He trained him also maybe. | 他也许也训练过他 |
| 1388 | He trained him. | 他训练他。 |
| 1389 | In those, like, for example, | 比如说,在这些 |
| 1390 | when I was pacing around | 当我在四处走动时 |
| 1391 | and then just randomly doing squats | 然后随机地蹲下 |
| 1392 | in front of him, | 在他的面前, |
| 1393 | he was sitting on one end of the couch. | 他坐在沙发的一端。 |
| 1394 | I go and sit on the other end of the couch. | 我去沙发的另一端坐着 |
| 1395 | He moves closer to me | 他离我近一点 |
| 1396 | and he was just saying, | 他只是说, |
| 1397 | what happened? | 发生什么事了? |
| 1398 | And I, you know, I think number one, | 我,你知道, 我认为第一, |
| 1399 | he entered it from curiosity. | 他从好奇入手 |
| 1400 | It wasn't what's wrong. | 这不是什么问题。 |
| 1401 | It wasn't that was crazy. | 这不是疯了。 |
| 1402 | It was what, you know, | 这是,你知道, |
| 1403 | what's what's happening right now. | 现在发生什么了? |
| 1404 | I go through this kind of thing | 我经历这种事情 |
| 1405 | that happened from like, | 发生从喜欢, |
| 1406 | well, I read this. | 我读过这个 |
| 1407 | And then I started like, | 然后我开始说, |
| 1408 | it just ever I, | 它只是永远,我, |
| 1409 | the way I explained it was like, | 就像我解释的那样 |
| 1410 | everything felt so hot. | 一切感觉如此热。 |
| 1411 | I felt like I was just getting so hot. | 我觉得我太热了 |
| 1412 | That's how I describe it to my husband. | 这就是我对我丈夫的描述 |
| 1413 | And then I just started getting at like, | 然后,我刚刚开始得到 像, |
| 1414 | and he's like, | 他喜欢, |
| 1415 | you were pacing around and I like, | 你到处走走 我喜欢 |
| 1416 | I didn't even realize I was pacing around. | 我甚至没意识到自己在到处跑步 |
| 1417 | I knew I got up. | 我知道我站起来了。 |
| 1418 | Definitely knew I was doing squats. | 绝对知道我在蹲下。 |
| 1419 | And then I was like, | 然后我就说, |
| 1420 | yeah, I tried to like kind of calm things down | 是啊,我曾想镇定一下 |
| 1421 | because I was feeling really restless. | 因为我觉得很不安。 |
| 1422 | And then I went back and read the email | 然后我回去看邮件 |
| 1423 | and realized it was a family emergency. | 并意识到这是一个家庭紧急情况。 |
| 1424 | And so then that neutral kind of, | 然后那种中立的, |
| 1425 | I'm just sitting and supporting you, | 我只是坐着支持你, |
| 1426 | letting you regulate your nervous system real time. | 让你实时调节你的神经系统 |
| 1427 | Because I think for a lot of people | 因为我想很多人 |
| 1428 | who are dealing with this fear of rejection | 面对这种被排斥的恐惧 |
| 1429 | or criticism, | 或批评, |
| 1430 | especially if it's in the context | 特别是如果它是在上下文 |
| 1431 | of that person that you're receiving it from, | 你从谁那里得到它, |
| 1432 | if they storm off | 如果他们冲走 |
| 1433 | or if they tell you to calm down, | 或者如果他们叫你冷静下来 |
| 1434 | you feel even more unheard. | 你更觉得没有听到。 |
| 1435 | You feel even more rejected. | 你更觉得被拒绝。 |
| 1436 | Sometimes him just sitting there, | 有时他只是坐在那里, |
| 1437 | being with me, | 和我在一起的时候 |
| 1438 | knowing like I can, | 知道我可以做到这一点, |
| 1439 | it immediately regulates my nervous system. | 它立即控制我的神经系统。 |
| 1440 | I think it's a powerful thing | 我觉得这很厉害 |
| 1441 | when someone can do that. | 当有人可以做到这一点。 |
| 1442 | And I think it's, | 我认为, |
| 1443 | in general, | 总的来说, |
| 1444 | I would say it's hard for most men | 我会说对大多数人来说很难 |
| 1445 | that I've known to learn that skill. | 我学会了这种技巧 |
| 1446 | To be able to sit peacefully | 能够平静地坐着 |
| 1447 | when something is chaotically happening, | 当事情变得混乱时, |
| 1448 | which seems like nothing happened | 似乎什么都没发生 |
| 1449 | and you're overreacting, right? | 你反应过度了,对吧? |
| 1450 | This is the seeming situation | 情况是这样的 |
| 1451 | for a lot of people. | 对很多人来说 |
| 1452 | And if men haven't learned | 如果男人还没学会 |
| 1453 | the skill of emotional regulation themselves, | 情感调节的技巧本身, |
| 1454 | which most men haven't learned that yet, | 大部分男人还没有学过 |
| 1455 | they can't handle someone else | 他们对付不了别人 |
| 1456 | what seems like a freak out around them | 好像他们身边有怪胎 |
| 1457 | if they don't know how to navigate it. | 如果他们不知道如何导航的话 |
| 1458 | So it's hard for them. | 所以对他们来说很难 |
| 1459 | So this is the challenge. | 这就是挑战。 |
| 1460 | Like when I'm not saying | 就像我没说 |
| 1461 | some men aren't able to do this, | 有些男人不能做到这一点, |
| 1462 | but then there's challenges | 但还有挑战 |
| 1463 | in relationship breakdowns. | 关系破裂。 |
| 1464 | When a woman doesn't feel seen or heard | 当一个女人感觉不到或听到 |
| 1465 | and the man feels like, | 男人觉得, |
| 1466 | well, you're just acting crazy | 你简直疯了 |
| 1467 | or whatever the terminology is. | 或任何术语。 |
| 1468 | And that's the challenge. | 这就是挑战 |
| 1469 | That's why I think when both individuals | 这就是为什么我想 当两个人 |
| 1470 | or all individuals | 或所有个人 |
| 1471 | can learn emotional regulation, | 可以学习情绪调节, |
| 1472 | hopefully it's less heated by one person | 希望没有一个人加热 |
| 1473 | and the other person has the skills | 而对方有技能 |
| 1474 | to be able to meet them | 能够见到他们 |
| 1475 | and see them and hear them | 看到他们,听到他们 |
| 1476 | and hold that space. | 并保持空间。 |
| 1477 | But that just takes very present people | 但是这需要非常现成的人 |
| 1478 | who are actively trying to improve themselves. | 他们正在积极改善自己。 |
| 1479 | Oh my God, teach it in the schools. | 哦,我的上帝, 在学校教它。 |
| 1480 | Give me something, man. | 给我一些东西,伙计。 |
| 1481 | These are things that I think | 我想这些东西 |
| 1482 | really would benefit. | 真的很会有好处。 |
| 1483 | I think everybody could benefit | 我想每个人都会受益 |
| 1484 | from emotional literacy. | 从情感知识。 |
| 1485 | But I think if you start integrating | 但我认为如果你开始融合 |
| 1486 | the way you experience emotions | 你感受情绪的方式 |
| 1487 | is neurological. | 神经系统 |
| 1488 | The way you talk about emotions, | 你谈论情绪的方式, |
| 1489 | I feel like this world specifically, | 我特别觉得这个世界 |
| 1490 | people are so careless | 人们这么粗心大意 |
| 1491 | with that component of it. | 与它的这个组成部分。 |
| 1492 | They are, they are. | 他们是,他们是。 |
| 1493 | What is something you wish you knew | 你希望你知道的东西是什么 |
| 1494 | when you were growing up | 你长大的时候 |
| 1495 | that you now know now? | 你现在知道了? |
| 1496 | The emotional regulation part. | 情绪调节部分。 |
| 1497 | If I had understood | 如果我理解的话 |
| 1498 | that the emotional side of things | 事物的情感方面 |
| 1499 | would so directly impact my ability | 这样会直接影响到我的能力 |
| 1500 | to be productive and move forward | 提高生产率并向前迈进 |
| 1501 | in a pathway, | 在一条道路上, |
| 1502 | I would have spent that time | 我会花那么长时间 |
| 1503 | instead of shoving down my emotions | 而不是压抑我的情绪 |
| 1504 | or compartmentalizing them. | 或将它们分割开来。 |
| 1505 | Because I felt like that was my default. | 因为我觉得那是我的默认 |
| 1506 | Anytime I felt something big, | 每当我感觉到有大事 |
| 1507 | I'd be like, not right now, go away. | 我将像,不是现在,走开。 |
| 1508 | And it would show up later | 它会出现以后 |
| 1509 | in the weirdest kind of ways. | 在最奇怪的方式。 |
| 1510 | So I just never figured it out. | 所以我一直没想明白 |
| 1511 | And it was truly until I was like, | 直到我说, |
| 1512 | oh, these two things are connected | 哦,这两个东西是相连的 |
| 1513 | that I felt like this deserves | 我觉得这样值得 |
| 1514 | me going into and learning | 我进去学习 |
| 1515 | how to manage things. | 如何管理事物。 |
| 1516 | And my life has exponentially | 我的生活指数化了 |
| 1517 | improved since then. | 之后有所改善。 |
| 1518 | And it's made me a better parent. | 这让我成为一个更好的父母。 |
| 1519 | It's made me a better partner. | 这让我成为一个更好的伙伴。 |
| 1520 | It's made me a better doctor. | 这让我成为一个更好的医生。 |
| 1521 | It's made me a better person | 这让我成为了更好的人 |
| 1522 | because of that emotional regulation. | 因为情绪调节。 |
| 1523 | How can someone who feels | 怎么会有人觉得 |
| 1524 | like they're overly sensitive | 好像他们太敏感了 |
| 1525 | turn that into a strength? | 把它变成力量? |
| 1526 | Number one, by recognizing | 第一,通过识别 |
| 1527 | that it's neurological. | 这是神经系统。 |
| 1528 | This isn't a quirk. | 这不是一个怪胎。 |
| 1529 | This isn't your personality. | 这不是你的个性。 |
| 1530 | It's not something that | 这不是什么 |
| 1531 | if you're born with it, | 如果你带着它出生, |
| 1532 | you're out of luck. | 你运气不好 |
| 1533 | You just, you are, this is something, | 你只是,你是, 这是东西, |
| 1534 | the brain is just so incredible | 大脑真是不可思议 |
| 1535 | that we have this capacity | 我们拥有这种能力 |
| 1536 | and this agency to rewire our brains. | 和这个机构 重新连接我们的大脑。 |
| 1537 | I think that's so, | 我觉得是这样 |
| 1538 | it makes psychiatry feel so hopeful. | 这让精神病患者充满希望 |
| 1539 | And so I think that if you feel, | 所以我觉得如果你觉得 |
| 1540 | yes, I get overwhelmed all the time. | 是的,我总是被压抑 |
| 1541 | This is really hard for me. | 这对我来说真的很难。 |
| 1542 | And it's difficult for me | 对我来说也很困难 |
| 1543 | to navigate through life | 导航生命 |
| 1544 | because I feel like I'm constantly | 因为我觉得自己总是 |
| 1545 | responding to these triggers. | 对这些触发器作出反应。 |
| 1546 | I think it is possible | 我觉得有可能 |
| 1547 | to kind of move on from these things, | 从这些东西开始, |
| 1548 | to learn your patterns, | 学习你的模式, |
| 1549 | to learn what your triggers are, | 知道你的触发器是什么, |
| 1550 | to learn how to manage them in real time. | 学习如何实时管理它们。 |
| 1551 | And you said this previously | 你之前说过 |
| 1552 | and I loved how you phrased it is | 我喜欢你这么说 |
| 1553 | you still want to feel things. | 你还是想感受一些东西 |
| 1554 | You just have to navigate it. | 你只需要导航它。 |
| 1555 | And I think that's what the takeaway is. | 我想这就是外卖的原因 |
| 1556 | It's giving yourself | 给自己 |
| 1557 | and trusting yourself enough | 足够相信自己 |
| 1558 | to be able to navigate | 能够导航 |
| 1559 | without feeling like | 没有感觉 |
| 1560 | I'm always going to be sucked under. | 我总是会被吸下去。 |
| 1561 | As a parent of two kids, | 作为两个孩子的父母, |
| 1562 | what's your biggest fear | 你最大的恐惧是什么? |
| 1563 | over the next 10 to 15 years for them | 在未来10至15年里 |
| 1564 | based around what's happening in society | 基于社会上发生的一切 |
| 1565 | and like the overwhelm | 犹如圆顶, |
| 1566 | that a lot of youth are feeling | 很多年轻人都觉得 |
| 1567 | and things like that. | 和类似的东西。 |
| 1568 | I have so many fears. | 我有这么多的恐惧。 |
| 1569 | I don't know if I can go. | 我不知道我能去吗? |
| 1570 | The one that I most recently was | 我最近那个 |
| 1571 | thinking about | 考虑 |
| 1572 | and it kept me up like three days ago | 三天前就睡不着了 |
| 1573 | is thinking about like | 正在思考 像 |
| 1574 | how increasingly digital | 如何日益数字化 |
| 1575 | our world has gotten | 我们的世界得到了 |
| 1576 | and how isolated we all are. | 以及我们是多么孤立 |
| 1577 | We're all kind of operating like | и常钩 |
| 1578 | what triggered this | 是什么引发了这个 |
| 1579 | is I walked into a coffee shop | 是我走进咖啡店 |
| 1580 | and I was waiting for my order | 我等着我的命令 |
| 1581 | and I looked around | 我环顾四周 |
| 1582 | literally every single person | 每个人 |
| 1583 | sitting on their phone. | 坐在他们的电话上。 |
| 1584 | Sometimes there were two people | 有时候有两个人 |
| 1585 | sitting to eat with each other. | 相与坐食. |
| 1586 | They're both on their phones | 他们都在打电话 |
| 1587 | and I'm guilty of that at times. | 有时我也会犯错 |
| 1588 | I'm checking my email | 我在查我的邮件 |
| 1589 | and trying to multitask | 并尝试多重任务 |
| 1590 | but that's the world | 但这就是世界 |
| 1591 | that we kind of are in right now | 我们有点现在 |
| 1592 | where everybody is so | 每个人如此 |
| 1593 | in their own universe | 在他们自己的宇宙中 |
| 1594 | that it makes me think about like | 让我想起 |
| 1595 | what's 10 years down the line going to be? | 10年后会怎么样? |
| 1596 | As a parent though | 身为父母 |
| 1597 | and as a doctor | 作为医生 |
| 1598 | how do you ensure that your kids | 你怎么保证你的孩子 |
| 1599 | have this emotional regulation | 有这种情绪调节 |
| 1600 | at an early age? | 年幼的时候? |
| 1601 | I think some of it | 我觉得有些 |
| 1602 | some of it is honestly in our house. | 有些是在我们的房子里 |
| 1603 | I think because I've been figuring this out | 我想是因为我一直在想 |
| 1604 | in real time | 实时 |
| 1605 | I've also made it a point | 我也说过了 |
| 1606 | to talk it out loud. | 大声说出来。 |
| 1607 | So when I'm feeling big things | 所以当我感到大事 |
| 1608 | especially with my dad | 特别是和我爸 |
| 1609 | where I was like | 我当时的样子 |
| 1610 | I really can't explain my way around it | 我真的无法解释我的路 |
| 1611 | they're seeing it. | 他们看到它。 |
| 1612 | Like I don't | 就像我没有 |
| 1613 | we just have to talk about it. | 我们得谈谈 |
| 1614 | Talking about those kind of emotional moments | 说到那种情感时刻 |
| 1615 | and letting them in on | 让他们进来 |
| 1616 | how can we make this better? | 我们怎样才能改善这一切? |
| 1617 | How can and having honest discussions | 如何能和诚实的讨论 |
| 1618 | I think one of the | 我觉得其中之一 |
| 1619 | most wonderful things | 最美好的东西 |
| 1620 | that came out of that | 从那里出来的 |
| 1621 | is that it really made me less afraid | 这真的让我不那么害怕 |
| 1622 | and it made them less afraid of emotion | 让他们更不怕情绪 |
| 1623 | because like | 因为像 |
| 1624 | I could not stuff this down | 我无法填满这个 |
| 1625 | and so | 就这样 |
| 1626 | and they were seeing that | 他们看到 |
| 1627 | so it's like | 所以这就像 |
| 1628 | how do we navigate this | 我们如何导航 |
| 1629 | kind of as a family | 那种作为一个家庭 |
| 1630 | and we're talking about it | 我们谈论它 |
| 1631 | we're talking about emotion | 我们在谈论情感 |
| 1632 | and I don't remember | 我不记得了 |
| 1633 | ever doing that as a kid | 小时候做过这种事 |
| 1634 | with my parents | 与我父母亲 |
| 1635 | or talking about emotions | 或谈论情绪 |
| 1636 | no | 无 |
| 1637 | when something challenging | 当有挑战性的时候 |
| 1638 | would happen in the family or | 发生在家里,或者 |
| 1639 | I mean maybe intermittently | 我的意思是,也许间歇性 |
| 1640 | but not like | 但不喜欢 |
| 1641 | not like | 不喜欢 |
| 1642 | this is where sadness | 这里就是悲伤的地方 |
| 1643 | is coming from in the brain. | 是来自大脑。 |
| 1644 | This is like | 这就像 |
| 1645 | when you feel this way | 当你觉得这样 |
| 1646 | what's the difference between | 有什么区别 |
| 1647 | feeling sad | 难过 |
| 1648 | and feeling scared | 感觉害怕 |
| 1649 | and you know things like that | 你知道这样的事情 |
| 1650 | we're really talking about emotion | 我们说的是情感 |
| 1651 | a lot more | 还有很多 |
| 1652 | and like you know | 就像你知道的那样 |
| 1653 | if we are | 如果我们是 |
| 1654 | if we see something on TV | 如果我们在电视上看到什么 |
| 1655 | like my husband | 像我丈夫一样 |
| 1656 | watched the Goonies with them | 看着古尼和他们在一起 |
| 1657 | the other day | 那天,我说 |
| 1658 | and I was like | 我当时想 |
| 1659 | all right great | 没事,很好 |
| 1660 | but like talking to them about like | 但喜欢跟他们说 |
| 1661 | okay look at this | 好吧,看看这个 |
| 1662 | what do you think they were feeling | 你觉得他们有什么感觉? |
| 1663 | at that spot | 在那个地方 |
| 1664 | so just like talking about | 所以,就像谈论 |
| 1665 | and integrating emotion | 和融合情感 |
| 1666 | into the conversation. | 进入对话。 |
| 1667 | Yeah I think that's powerful. | 是的,我认为这是强大的。 |
| 1668 | Yeah I do too. | 我也一样。 |
| 1669 | So I feel like if you don't | 所以我觉得如果你不 |
| 1670 | talk about | 谈谈 |
| 1671 | I think maybe there's | 我想也许有 |
| 1672 | you know what is it | 你知道这是什么 |
| 1673 | called gentle parenting | 叫做温柔的养育 |
| 1674 | or something where it's like | 或某样东西 |
| 1675 | maybe there's too much | 也许有太多 |
| 1676 | emotion every day long | 每天的情绪 |
| 1677 | talking about it | 谈论它 |
| 1678 | but I think having those | 但我认为这些 |
| 1679 | moments where you talk about | 你谈论的时刻 |
| 1680 | your feelings or your emotions | 你的感情或情绪 |
| 1681 | at different times | 在不同时间 |
| 1682 | I think help kids realize | 我觉得帮助孩子们意识到 |
| 1683 | it's not like | 这不是像 |
| 1684 | something to stuff | 东西的东西 |
| 1685 | and you can't have emotion. | 你不能有情绪。 |
| 1686 | Yeah. | 对 |
| 1687 | And I think there's an extreme the other side where you're talking about it all day long every day | 我认为在另一边 你每天都在谈论这件事 |
| 1688 | It's too much like how are you feeling and tell me more and you know, I think it's maybe too much | 这太像你的感觉 并告诉我更多,你知道, 我认为它可能太多了 |
| 1689 | I haven't gotten to that point yet because they're still young she said they can't talk. | 我还没到那个地步 因为他们还年轻 她说他们不能说话 |
| 1690 | Yeah, you can't talk yet | 是啊,你还不能说话 |
| 1691 | I feel like with gentle parenting and my mom's a gentle parenting. | 我觉得有温柔的养育 和我妈妈是一个温柔的养育。 |
| 1692 | Yeah, we talk about this all the time and I feel like I | 是啊,我们一直在谈论这个 我觉得我像 |
| 1693 | Mean in my in my brain. | 在我的脑子里很坏 |
| 1694 | I thought as a parent like my Pinterest version of myself was that I would be a gentle parent | 我以为像我的普利克斯版本一样的家长 会是一个温柔的父母 |
| 1695 | I'm not at all. | 我没有。 |
| 1696 | Um | 垛 |
| 1697 | But I think that sometimes it's it's a fine line between | 但我认为有时 这之间是一条很好的线 |
| 1698 | Emotionally validating and and kind of letting the child figure out but also giving that firmness and structure | 情感的验证 和那种让孩子 弄清楚,但也给予 坚定和结构 |
| 1699 | Because I think I really need that. | 因为我觉得我真的很需要这个。 |
| 1700 | Yeah boundaries you need boundaries and you need like the kid can't | 是啊,你需要边界,你需要 像孩子不能 |
| 1701 | Navigate the because then you get your whole slew of other things going on like it's really difficult for them to handle disappointment later | 导航因为你得到你的全部 其它的事情发生, 像他们真的很难 处理失望以后 |
| 1702 | It's really difficult for them to understand how to be yeah how to be resilient | 很难理解如何适应 |
| 1703 | If someone doesn't have the ability to handle rejection, what type of life will they live? | 如果有人没有能力处理拒绝,他们会生活什么样的生活? |
| 1704 | I don't know | 我不知道,你觉得呢? |
| 1705 | They'll be a psychiatrist on social media. | 他们将成为社交媒体上的心理医生. |
| 1706 | I guess | 我想是这样 |
| 1707 | No, I I feel like | 不,我觉得 |
| 1708 | Rejection is just such a normal part of the human experience. | 拒绝只是人类经验的正常部分 |
| 1709 | And if a lot of times | 如果很多时候 |
| 1710 | Rejection is just redirection, right? | 拒绝只是改变方向,对吧? |
| 1711 | It's it it kind of pushes you into a different pathway | 就是它把你推向另一条路 |
| 1712 | I think what's important | 我认为什么是重要的 |
| 1713 | But if you never learned how to navigate and handle rejection small or big | 但是,如果你从来没有学会 如何导航和处理拒绝大小 |
| 1714 | What happens to your body to your life to your mind? | 你的身体会怎样? |
| 1715 | I mean, I think you get consumed by it like a lot of times | 我是说,我觉得你经常被它吞噬 |
| 1716 | sometimes you see rejection, um, and in people trying to avoid that or potentially, um | 有时你会看到拒绝,嗯, 在人们试图避免 这一点或可能,嗯 |
| 1717 | Deal with it in a different capacity. | 以不同身份处理. |
| 1718 | You see a lot of compensation behavior. | 你看到很多补偿行为 |
| 1719 | So you see a lot of | 所以,你看到很多 |
| 1720 | Perfectionism you see a lot of people pleasing you see a lot of different pathways that | 完美主义,你看到很多人 喜欢你看到很多不同的路径 |
| 1721 | Yes, initially may feel advantageous. | 是的,最初可能觉得有利。 |
| 1722 | So this is people aren't criticizing me. | 这就是人们没有批评我。 |
| 1723 | I am always top of my game | 我总是我的游戏第一 |
| 1724 | I'm getting validating comments. | 我得到了验证的评论。 |
| 1725 | This is great. | 这是伟大的。 |
| 1726 | But like in terms of sustainability, what is that doing to the quality of your life? | 但是,就可持续性而言,这对你的生活品质有什么影响? |
| 1727 | What is that doing over time? | 随着时间的推移,这是做什么? |
| 1728 | To you what happens when you are normal one day and everyone's like, are you sick? | 对你来说,当你正常的一天, 每个人都喜欢,你生病了吗? |
| 1729 | Like what's happening to you? | 就像你发生了什么事? |
| 1730 | and so I think it's it's just a balance of | 所以我觉得这只是一个平衡 |
| 1731 | trying to | 试图 |
| 1732 | Understand yourself because if you never really get on top of how to navigate rejection how to navigate criticism | 理解自己,因为如果你从来没有真正 上如何导航拒绝 如何导航批评 |
| 1733 | You're going to find | 你会发现 |
| 1734 | Other maladaptive ways to do it | 其他不适应的方法 |
| 1735 | Yeah | 对 |
| 1736 | And I think also if you never learn how to do it | 我也认为如果你永远不学会怎么做 |
| 1737 | You may never go after what you want because you're afraid of the rejection happening | 你可能永远不会去追求你想要的 因为你害怕被拒绝发生 |
| 1738 | So you never go for the career you want or launch the project you want or do you know? | 所以,你从来没有去 职业生涯你想要的 或者启动项目 你想或你知道? |
| 1739 | Go for the relationship you want because you're afraid of | 去找你想要的关系 因为你害怕 |
| 1740 | The potential rejection that may or may not happen. | 可能发生也可能不会发生的潜在拒绝。 |
| 1741 | Yes, and how to navigate the feeling of not being good enough | 是的,如何引导 感觉不够好 |
| 1742 | If and when that happens and and just like anticipating that acute | 如果和什么时候发生, 和只是喜欢 预料到的急性 |
| 1743 | Pain, I think is so hard. | 痛苦,我觉得很难。 |
| 1744 | I've had many patients who come into me | 我有很多病人都进来了 |
| 1745 | And you know you you're talking about just their overall history. | 你知道你在谈论的只是他们的总体历史。 |
| 1746 | You're talking about medical stuff going on | 你在说医学的事 |
| 1747 | You're talking about psychiatric stuff. | 你在说精神问题 |
| 1748 | Then you just break into like kind of socially what's what's happening in your life? | 然后,你只是闯进 像一种社交 什么是发生在你的生活? |
| 1749 | What's your life structured like and they talk about? | 你的生活结构是什么 他们谈论? |
| 1750 | within relationships | 关系中 |
| 1751 | How that's a thing that they really really want I I said my parents have had a 35 year relationship. | 他们真的想这样 我说我父母有35年的感情 |
| 1752 | They're so happy | 他们很开心 |
| 1753 | I want that I want kids someday. | 我想有朝一日要孩子。 |
| 1754 | I want all of these things | 我要这些东西 |
| 1755 | But I can't get past that initial point or if we get into a conflict it gets so hard and I'm back away | 但我不能越过最初的点 或者,如果我们陷入冲突 它会变得如此艰难 我回来了 |
| 1756 | And so it's it's difficult and I feel like in my 20s | 所以很难过,我20多岁的时候就觉得 |
| 1757 | You know, I I tell my husband like i've never been broken up with | 你知道,我告诉我的丈夫喜欢 我从来没有分手 |
| 1758 | Because I would leave I like things would get a little hard like i'm out | 因为我会离开,我喜欢事情会变得有点难 像我退出 |
| 1759 | Wow, so never broke up with you you broke up with them or you left | 哇,所以从来没有分手 你分手了,或者你离开了 |
| 1760 | I would just be like this is scary. | 我就觉得这很可怕 |
| 1761 | I'm out of here and I and I would use the excuse of like i'm in medical school | 我走了,我和我会用借口 就像我在医学院 |
| 1762 | I don't like i'm too busy. | 我不喜欢我太忙了 |
| 1763 | I'm too busy. | 我忙着呢 |
| 1764 | And so it would be | 所以,这将是 |
| 1765 | Me running away from that and I feel like my husband | 我逃离了那,我感觉就像我丈夫 |
| 1766 | Kind of snuck past the guard on that one because we were long distance | 有点溜过那个守卫 因为我们距离很远 |
| 1767 | So I didn't have I wasn't constantly reading his tone or his body language | 所以我没有经常读他的语气和身体语言 |
| 1768 | We had you know, we were communicating via text and phone call and all of the stuff and it would just | 我们想让你知道,我们通过短信和电话 和所有的东西沟通,它只是 |
| 1769 | It felt so easy and comforting and by the time we were in the same spot | 感觉如此轻松舒适 当我们在同一地点的时候 |
| 1770 | If you try to run at one point where you're like, ah, it's too much conflict | 如果你试图运行 在你喜欢的地方, 啊,这是太多的冲突 |
| 1771 | He's pretty easy to be around. | 他在这里很容易 |
| 1772 | He's peaceful. | 他很平静 |
| 1773 | He sounds like hey, what's going on? | 他听起来像嘿嘿, 这是怎么回事? |
| 1774 | Why are you feeling this way? | 你为什么这样想? |
| 1775 | What's | 何谓 |
| 1776 | Joy, that's amazing involved. | 乔伊,这太不可思议了 |
| 1777 | Yeah. | 对 |
| 1778 | Yeah, it's good. | 是啊,这是很好的。 |
| 1779 | You got lucky. | 你很幸运 |
| 1780 | He had two older sisters | 他有两个姐姐 |
| 1781 | And I think they just like beat it into him. | 我认为他们只是喜欢打他。 |
| 1782 | Yeah, it's good. | 是啊,这是很好的。 |
| 1783 | I have two older sisters as well | 我还有两个姐姐 |
| 1784 | Okay, probably why I was too sensitive and also emotionally like hey, what's going on? | 好吧,也许为什么我太敏感 和情感上一样,嘿,发生了什么事? |
| 1785 | You know, it's like yeah | 你知道,这就像耶 |
| 1786 | You can tell | 你看得出来 |
| 1787 | That's interesting so there was not enough conflict for you to feel like i'm out | 这很有趣,所以没有 足够的冲突让你觉得 我退出 |
| 1788 | Once you got close. | 一旦你接近我们 |
| 1789 | No, believe me there was plenty of conflict but it was for you to feel like you're out though | 不,相信我 有很多冲突... ...但是你觉得自己已经出来了 |
| 1790 | At one point we did | 有一次我们做到了 |
| 1791 | Break up, but it wasn't conflict on his and our part. | 分手,但这不是他和我们之间的冲突。 |
| 1792 | I think it was did you end it? | 我认为是你结束的? |
| 1793 | Oh, so good. | 真不错 |
| 1794 | You still haven't even broken up with yeah | 你还没分手呢 |
| 1795 | I did | 没错 |
| 1796 | But I think that that was like from a cultural perspective. | 但我认为,从文化的角度来看,这是这样的。 |
| 1797 | We couldn't figure out how to blend those two. | 我们想不出怎么把两者融合在一起 |
| 1798 | Is he a white guy? | 他是白人吗? |
| 1799 | Yeah. | 对 |
| 1800 | Oh wow | 瓳 |
| 1801 | Um, and so I was like I don't I'm like my family. | 嗯,所以我就像我不 像我的家人一样。 |
| 1802 | I mean it just like historically has had arranged marriages | 我的意思是,它就像历史上 安排婚姻 |
| 1803 | This is this was like so out of the norm. | 这太不合常理了 |
| 1804 | What do you mean? | 你说什么? |
| 1805 | You have love | 你有爱 |
| 1806 | Yeah, what is this? | 对,这是什么? |
| 1807 | You're allowed to love someone. | 你被允许去爱一个人 |
| 1808 | Yeah, it's crazy because | 是啊,这是疯狂的,因为 |
| 1809 | My parents were so in love. | 我的父母是如此的爱。 |
| 1810 | They were truly meant for each other | 他们真的是为了彼此 |
| 1811 | and so I had this like expectation like that's what it's going to be there's no and then you know | 所以,我有一个这样的期望 像它会是什么是 没有,然后你知道 |
| 1812 | It just it it blossomed into this wonderful relationship and then I was like wait | 它只是它开花 在这个美妙的关系 然后我像等待 |
| 1813 | But that's not what we're supposed to do. | 但这不是我们应该做的。 |
| 1814 | I'm not supposed to do that | 我不该那么做的 |
| 1815 | My family doesn't want that and and then we had to why waste your time with someone if you weren't supposed to do that | 我的家人不希望那样,然后我们不得不 为什么要浪费你的时间与某人 如果你不应该这样做 |
| 1816 | I don't know | 我不知道,你觉得呢? |
| 1817 | I don't know. | 师曰. |
| 1818 | It happened. | 它发生了。 |
| 1819 | Everyone goes through the phase and then they're like, all right. | 每个人都经过阶段 然后他们就像,好吧。 |
| 1820 | He was so handsome. | 他很帅 |
| 1821 | There you go | 给你 |
| 1822 | There you go. | 给你。 |
| 1823 | So I mean it's like giving that opportunity 10 out of 10 times. | 所以,我的意思是,它像给 机会10倍。 |
| 1824 | I'm going to take that opportunity but | 我要利用这个机会,但是... |
| 1825 | But your fear of either rejection from your family or society or the culture was like oh | 但你害怕被家庭或社会拒之门外 或者害怕文化 |
| 1826 | I'm not doing it the way it's supposed to be | 我可没这么干 |
| 1827 | And so part of you were as afraid of that rejection feeling. | 所以,你的一部分 害怕那种拒绝的感觉。 |
| 1828 | I don't want to let down my parents. | 欲令父母不减. |
| 1829 | I don't want to | 我不想这样 |
| 1830 | and and | 财务报告和已审计财务报表 |
| 1831 | Since that time it's been like such a beautiful blending and everything has been great | 从那时起,它就像一个美丽的混合 一切都很好 |
| 1832 | But that initial period I I think it was too scary. | 但最初那段时间 我觉得太可怕了 |
| 1833 | How long were you together for before that breakup? | 分手前你们在一起多久了? |
| 1834 | Like three years. | 如是三年经. |
| 1835 | Wow | 哗 |
| 1836 | So didn't you know though going into it like this isn't gonna last if the fear of rejection | 所以,难道你不知道,虽然去 这样下去是不会持续 如果害怕拒绝 |
| 1837 | I'm gonna back out eventually because it's not an arranged marriage | 我最终会退出的 因为这不是包办婚姻 |
| 1838 | Okay, can I tell you though because it was such a cute story that I was like it's fate. | 好吧,我可以告诉你,虽然,因为它是如此可爱的故事,我就像这是命运。 |
| 1839 | Clearly this has to like | 显然,这必须喜欢 |
| 1840 | We we | 我们 |
| 1841 | I we ended up seeing each other and I saw him from like across the restaurant | 我们最后相见了 从餐厅对面看见他 |
| 1842 | I was like awesome | 我简直太棒了 |
| 1843 | And so like I went and immediately talked to him | 就像我马上去和他说话 |
| 1844 | And he had been sent from across the street because the bartender across the street was like go and talk to that girl | 他被从街对面派来 因为街对面的酒保 就像去跟那个女孩说话 |
| 1845 | You'll like her and then later I found out | 你会喜欢她的 后来我发现 |
| 1846 | That my best friend's parents had been trying to set us up on a blind date for two years | 我最好的朋友的父母 一直试图让我们 在相亲约会两年 |
| 1847 | And I kept saying like no, I don't want to I don't like just show me a picture and it wouldn't and I was like | 我不停地说不,我不想 只是给我看一张照片,它不会,我就像 |
| 1848 | The guy's gonna be a dog don't like no | 这家伙会变成狗 不喜欢不 |
| 1849 | And so I was just like there's so many but then you had the fear after three years that like, uh, we can't do this | 所以,我只是喜欢有这么多 但你有恐惧 三年后,喜欢,呃,我们不能做到这一点 |
| 1850 | It goes again. | 它又来了。 |
| 1851 | I think it became so real because we're like, well, what do we do here because i'm ending school | 我认为它变得如此真实,因为我们喜欢, 好了,我们该怎么办在这里 因为我结束学校 |
| 1852 | Like I like we're we have been together. | 我喜欢我们在一起 |
| 1853 | We love each other so much. | 我们深爱彼此 |
| 1854 | Do we get | 我们得到 |
| 1855 | Married do we cut like do we cut ties? | 我们结过婚吗? |
| 1856 | Like this is such a transitional spot and then I was just like | 就像这里是过渡的地方 然后我就想 |
| 1857 | Too scary too much and like at that point I was just like | 太吓人了,就像那时一样 |
| 1858 | My parents were just | 我父母刚刚 |
| 1859 | Had such a hard time with it that I was like, I can't yes the three years. | 经历如此艰难的时期,我就像,我不能是三年。 |
| 1860 | They had a hard time with it | 他们很辛苦 |
| 1861 | Oh, they didn't know for the first part. | 哦,他们不知道 第一部分。 |
| 1862 | Oh, wow | 哦,哇哟 |
| 1863 | So the first couple years they didn't know | 所以头几年他们不知道 |
| 1864 | I mean, so you're also afraid you're also afraid of the rejection from your parents that you weren't even telling them | 我的意思是,所以你还怕你 也害怕被父母拒绝 你甚至没有告诉他们 |
| 1865 | Yeah for a couple years. | 是啊,几年来。 |
| 1866 | Yeah long distance | 是啊,长距离 |
| 1867 | Wow, so you had a fear around the rejection from them as well | 哇,所以你有一个恐惧 周围的拒绝他们 |
| 1868 | Big time because I knew my expectation what my expectation was is that you finish your educational kind of background | 因为我知道我的期望是 你完成你的教育背景 |
| 1869 | And then you go into this next season of life and at that point your parents know you so well | 然后你进入下个生活季节 那时你父母很了解你 |
| 1870 | They find you a partner that you and you date them for a while | 他们给你找个搭档 你和他们约会一段时间 |
| 1871 | If you like them you get married to that person if you don't like them you try again | 如果你喜欢他们 你就嫁给他 如果你不喜欢他们 你就再试一次 |
| 1872 | But it's someone that your family has vetted and they know the family and they know everything about them and it's like | 但你的家人已经审查过一个人 他们了解这个家庭 他们知道他们的一切 |
| 1873 | It's like it's not even like just your parents it's like | 就像你父母一样 |
| 1874 | Yeah, you have like the weigh-in from all these people | 是啊,你喜欢从所有这些人的体重 |
| 1875 | Of like I think that's gonna be a good match | 我觉得那会很合得来 |
| 1876 | So I just kind of assumed that was my trajectory | 所以我觉得那是我的轨迹 |
| 1877 | And so I was like when we got to this point where i'm like, oh god | 所以我就想当我们到了这个地步 我就像,哦,上帝 |
| 1878 | I like this I fell in love with this beautiful beautiful person in my emotionally involves | 我喜欢这个,我爱上了这个美丽的人 在我情感中涉及 |
| 1879 | Beautiful kind and like and i'm gonna say no to him family. | 美丽的善良和喜欢, 我会说不给他的家人。 |
| 1880 | I mean, oh my god, I just | 我是说,天啊,我只是... |
| 1881 | And I swear when I hear when I hear stories like this where people are watching or listening and like you found a dream man | 我发誓当我听到这样的故事时 人们在看或听 就像你找到了一个梦中的男人 |
| 1882 | And the other way would be like what are you doing? | 换句话说,你在做什么? |
| 1883 | You know, it's like how could you say no to this? | 你知道,这就像你怎么能 拒绝这个? |
| 1884 | It's insane like luis | 简直疯了,就像Luis |
| 1885 | You lay eyes on this man. | 你盯着这个人 |
| 1886 | It's a handsome guy. | 是个帅哥 |
| 1887 | Huh? | 是吗? |
| 1888 | Even I would be attracted. | 我也会被吸引 |
| 1889 | Yes | 对 |
| 1890 | It's important like he will get stopped in public and i'm like i'm right here | 这很重要,就像他会在公共场合被拦住 而我就像我在这里 |
| 1891 | It's but it is one of those things where I was so | 但它是其中之一 我曾经如此 |
| 1892 | terrified | 吓坏了 |
| 1893 | Of what does this mean? | 这是什么意思? |
| 1894 | What does this mean for my relationship with my family? | 这对我和家人的关系意味着什么? |
| 1895 | What does this mean? | 这是什么意思? |
| 1896 | I cannot I have to let this go | 我不能就这么算了 |
| 1897 | and so I think that was | 所以我认为那是 |
| 1898 | Hard and then you know, so how did you get back together then? | 硬的,然后你知道, 所以,你是怎么回来的? |
| 1899 | How did you overcome the fear of rejection from your whole? | 你怎么克服了整个人对拒绝的恐惧? |
| 1900 | community, yeah | 社区,是的 |
| 1901 | Your parents your family your stennan family everyone judging you making you wrong for making this choice | 你的父母,你的家人,你Stennan的家庭 每个人判断你错了做这个选择 |
| 1902 | How did you overcome that fear now? | 你现在是怎么克服恐惧的? |
| 1903 | Keep in mind? | 记得吗? |
| 1904 | That even though all of this was kind of happening | 尽管这一切正在发生 |
| 1905 | I truly understood | и痷笵 |
| 1906 | Even even as this was happening in real time and he understood too, which was incredible | 即使这是实时发生的,他也明白,这是不可思议的 |
| 1907 | But this is so culturally driven. | 但这是文化驱动的。 |
| 1908 | This wasn't | 这不是 |
| 1909 | This wasn't that they hated him. | 这不是他们恨他。 |
| 1910 | This wasn't that they didn't trust me | 这不是他们不信任我 |
| 1911 | Although I had a terrible track record so like they this was | 虽然我有一个糟糕的成绩 所以他们是这样的 |
| 1912 | This is what we do culturally your mom and I are so happy. | 这是我们在文化上做的 你妈妈和我是如此快乐。 |
| 1913 | We want that happiness for you | 我们想要你的幸福 |
| 1914 | so | 这样 |
| 1915 | After a month of us and I told david i'm like we can't talk because it'll break my heart. | 过了一个月,我告诉达维德,我好像不能说话 因为那样会让我心碎 |
| 1916 | You can't do that | 你不能这样 |
| 1917 | this man | 这个人 |
| 1918 | Calls me. | 打电话给我 |
| 1919 | I was in a call room in phoenix | 我在凤凰城的电话室 |
| 1920 | And I was on call so I pick up the phone and I was like I told you not to call | 我打电话来接你电话 就像我叫你别打电话 |
| 1921 | he calls me and he's like | 他打电话给我,他喜欢 |
| 1922 | I will wait as long as it takes if you have to and I will move on when you get married | 如果你需要 我会等多久 等你结婚了我会继续 |
| 1923 | And I was like, holy cow. | 我就像,神圣的母牛。 |
| 1924 | I can't pass that up. | 我不能通过。 |
| 1925 | Holy cow. | 天呐 |
| 1926 | So what? | 那又怎样? |
| 1927 | So then I was like, all right, then let's do this. | 所以我就想,好吧,然后我们开始吧。 |
| 1928 | Let's do it. | 贡举志五种 上. |
| 1929 | And so then | 礛 |
| 1930 | That next day I was like this is what's happening to my family | 第二天,我就是这样 我的家人正在发生的事情 |
| 1931 | And it was a rejection. | 这是拒绝。 |
| 1932 | It wasn't it was a cultural clash and they were like | 这不是一场文化冲突 他们就像 |
| 1933 | This can't work. | 这不行 |
| 1934 | Like we this this isn't like he doesn't come from the same cultural background | 和我们一样 这不像他来自同一个文化背景 |
| 1935 | How are you going to raise kids together? | 你们怎么一起抚养孩子? |
| 1936 | Like it's going to be a blend. | 就像它会是一个混合。 |
| 1937 | There's going to be too many barriers. | 将多障难. |
| 1938 | We're so scared about this process. | 我们害怕这个过程 |
| 1939 | Wow | 哗 |
| 1940 | and it was difficult because | 这很困难,因为 |
| 1941 | for a while they weren't even | 有一阵子他们甚至没有 |
| 1942 | like the two parties weren't even | 碞钩ㄢ癸临⊿Τ |
| 1943 | interacting with each other because my parents were like just | 互相交流,因为我父母就像 |
| 1944 | Make this go away. | 让它消失。 |
| 1945 | I hope like we'll figure it out | 我希望我们能想办法 |
| 1946 | and then | 接着 |
| 1947 | We got all the way until | 我们一直到 |
| 1948 | You know, we're we're getting married and we're doing all these things | 要知道,我们要结婚了,我们要做这些事情 |
| 1949 | It | 这个 |
| 1950 | It was really after kids where it was just like everything kind of clicked into place and then my parents were like | 这是真正的孩子后 它就像所有 那种点击的地方 然后我的父母就像 |
| 1951 | Oh, I get it | 哦,我明白这话 |
| 1952 | like and it was just like that fear of | 就像那恐惧 |
| 1953 | и | |
| 1954 | like | 喜欢 |
| 1955 | Not following cultural things they could see them in in their own way and their own conclusions that | 不跟随文化事物 他们可以以他们自己的方式看到 他们自己的结论 |
| 1956 | this is such a | 这是这样的 |
| 1957 | loving supportive person | 爱的人 |
| 1958 | who truly like | 谁真正喜欢 |
| 1959 | Cradles | 摇篮 |
| 1960 | My whole life makes it so easy | 我一生都这么容易 |
| 1961 | Wow | 哗 |
| 1962 | And so I mean once they saw that once they saw him as a father what they saw him as it just like everything and | 我意思是,一旦他们看到, 一旦他们看到 他作为一个父亲, 他们看到,他就像一切, |
| 1963 | Towards the end of my dad's life | 在我父亲生命的尽头 |
| 1964 | My my husband's mom died of brain cancer. | 我丈夫的妈妈死于脑癌 |
| 1965 | And so he knew this process | 所以他知道这个过程 |
| 1966 | He was there like every second tending to my dad. | 他在那儿就像照顾我爸一样 |
| 1967 | Oh | 瓳 |
| 1968 | I know | и笵 |
| 1969 | I know I want to give this guy a hug. | 我知道我想给这家伙一个拥抱。 |
| 1970 | He's you should he's great. | 他是你应该 他伟大的。 |
| 1971 | How long you guys been married now | 你们结婚多久了? |
| 1972 | We just had our tenure in holy cow. | 我们刚刚在圣母牛里任职 |
| 1973 | Yeah, two kids 10 years married | 是啊,两个孩子 结婚10年 |
| 1974 | And you haven't run away. | 而你没有逃跑 |
| 1975 | No, I don't think i'm going to i'm tired | 不,我不认为我会累 |
| 1976 | So it's and so it's like you've shown that like hey | 所以,这是,所以 它就像你已经显示 像嘿 |
| 1977 | It doesn't have to be this cultural way to be the only way also | 也不必用这种文化方式 |
| 1978 | Yeah, even though they rejected it or were not fans of it and pushed it away for a long time. | 是的,尽管他们拒绝了,或者不是它的粉丝 并推开它很长一段时间。 |
| 1979 | It took time | 花了点时间 |
| 1980 | For you guys to face that together, but it seems like a beautiful love story | 你们要一起面对,但看起来是个美丽的爱情故事 |
| 1981 | It was it's my favorite love story. | 这是我最喜欢的爱情故事 |
| 1982 | Wow, but to be honest, I think that the cultural kind of expectation of an arranged marriage | 哇,但老实说,我觉得 文化的期待 包办婚姻 |
| 1983 | Really good for someone who's scared of rejection | 对害怕被拒的人来说真的很好 |
| 1984 | like this is already this is already set for me, but isn't it part of | 这已经是为我准备的了 但它不是其中的一部分 |
| 1985 | a human being's | 一个人的 |
| 1986 | Experience to have to overcome that fear of rejection rather than saying all right | 必须克服这种对拒绝的恐惧,而不是说所有权利的经验 |
| 1987 | Just take care of it for me | 帮我处理好 |
| 1988 | And i'm gonna stay a kid forever because i'm gonna let my parents always do things for me instead of have the courage | 我会永远保持一个孩子 因为我会让我的父母总是为我做事 而不是有勇气 |
| 1989 | To face potential rejection. | 面对潜在的拒绝。 |
| 1990 | I I don't necessarily think having an arranged marriage like I think there's so many people | 我不认为有包办婚姻 就像我想有这么多人 |
| 1991 | Who do that and are perfectly evolved and they're they're | 谁这样做和 完美进化 他们是 |
| 1992 | whole for me myself | 整个我自己 |
| 1993 | If I had gone down that road | 如果我走这条路 |
| 1994 | It was simply because I would be too scared to step out of that cultural lane | 那只是因为我太害怕 不敢走出文化之路 |
| 1995 | Yeah, and it was truly because he was so wonderful that I was able to | 是的,这是真的 因为他是如此的美妙,我可以 |
| 1996 | And it's like wonderful in a way that like most people would have if there is a family that's like we don't want you | 这就像一个美妙的方式 像大多数人会有 如果有一个家庭 我们不喜欢你 |
| 1997 | Yeah, he's still good. | 是啊,他还是很好的。 |
| 1998 | Yes | 对 |
| 1999 | Let's get it. | 贡举志五种 上. |
| 2000 | It's a guy's a saint | 这是一个男人的圣人 |
| 2001 | Guys are saints | 男人是圣人 男人是圣人 |
| 2002 | That's great | 不错 |
| 2003 | Uh sasha, I gotta get to the end here | 莎莎,我要到最后一点 |
| 2004 | I got a couple final questions for you before I ask the moment people to check out your book too sensitive rejection resilience and the science | 我有几个最后的问题要问你 之前,我问那一刻 人们检查 你的书太敏感 拒绝复原力和科学 |
| 2005 | Of feeling deeply. | 感觉很深 |
| 2006 | Yeah, I wish I had this book when I was a teenager. | 是啊,我希望我有这本书 当我还是少年。 |
| 2007 | It would have helped me a lot | 那会帮我很多忙的 |
| 2008 | Um, this is a question everyone I ask everyone at the end called the three truths, okay | 嗯,这是一个问题 我问每个人在结尾 称为三个真理,好吗? |
| 2009 | Hypothetical scenario you get to live as long as you want on this earth | 假想的情景,只要你想活在这个地球上 |
| 2010 | But it's the last day for you in the future | 但这是你未来的最后一天 |
| 2011 | And you get to create and experience life on your terms all your dreams come true | 你可以创造和体验生命 用你的条件 所有的梦想都实现了 |
| 2012 | You write tons of best-selling books. | 你写了很多畅销书 |
| 2013 | It all comes through you. | 这一切都通过你。 |
| 2014 | Yeah, but on the last day | 是的,但最后一天,我还是觉得 |
| 2015 | You have to take all your work with you and no one in this world has access to your content anymore | 你必须带着你所有的工作 世界上没有人能再得到你的内容 |
| 2016 | But you get to leave behind three truths and from everything you've learned in life everything you've learned in your work family relationships | 但你得离开三个真理 从生活中学到的一切 |
| 2017 | You get to leave behind three truths three lessons you would leave with the world. | 你可以留下三个真理 三个教训 你会离开世界。 |
| 2018 | What would those three truths be for you? | 这三件事对你有什么好处? |
| 2019 | Okay | 还好 |
| 2020 | the first one | 第一个 |
| 2021 | are | 已经 |
| 2022 | the first one is | 第一个是 |
| 2023 | Don't be scared of your emotions | 不要害怕你的情绪 |
| 2024 | Like lean into them. | 喜欢靠在他们身上。 |
| 2025 | I think that's that's a really important one that for me | 我觉得这对我来说很重要 |
| 2026 | Even sometimes i'd be scared by the eyes I would feel by something because i'm like it's gonna go away | 有时候我也会被眼睛吓着 因为我觉得它会消失 |
| 2027 | So just like be able to feel them be able to process them. | 所以就像能够感觉到它们能够处理它们一样。 |
| 2028 | That's one | 就是这个 |
| 2029 | the other truth is I think | 另一个事实是,我认为 |
| 2030 | There is nothing more precious than time with loved ones. | 没有什么比和亲人在一起更宝贵的了。 |
| 2031 | I just feel so strongly about that and I feel | 我只是觉得如此强烈 关于这一点,我觉得 |
| 2032 | Like it it takes | 喜欢它需要 |
| 2033 | like if you're lucky enough | 就像你够幸运一样 |
| 2034 | To have those relationships where you can continue to cultivate and grow them and spend that time and energy | 拥有那些可以继续培育和成长的关系 并花时间和精力 |
| 2035 | With that quality time, there's nothing better than that | 有了这么好的时间 没有什么比这更好的了 |
| 2036 | and the third truth | 和第三个真理 |
| 2037 | is to lead | 领导 |
| 2038 | with kindness | 以善良的心爱 |
| 2039 | even when | 即使当 |
| 2040 | The world expects you not to | 世界希望你别这样 |
| 2041 | Because I think the world is a hard place and I think you just need to infuse more of what you want to see | 因为我觉得这个世界很艰难 我觉得你只需要多注入一些你想看到的 |
| 2042 | That's beautiful | 真漂亮,这太美了 |
| 2043 | I want to acknowledge you Sasha for the journey you've been on | 我想感谢你萨沙的旅程 |
| 2044 | I know it's not been easy from the marriage stuff to your dad passing and all the things you've had to face in your practice | 我知道从结婚到你爸爸的路途 以及你练习时必须面对的一切 都不容易 |
| 2045 | And people need this work more now than ever | 人们现在比以往更需要这份工作 |
| 2046 | So I acknowledge you for putting this book out there for sharing your content online and for having the courage | 所以我感谢你把这本书放在那里 在网上分享你的内容 和有勇气 |
| 2047 | To face rejection yourself | 面对自我排斥 |
| 2048 | As a great example for other people as well. | 作为其他人的伟大榜样。 |
| 2049 | So I acknowledge you for that | 所以我承认你 |
| 2050 | My final question Sasha, what's your definition of greatness? | 我最后的问题 萨沙 你对伟大的定义是什么? |
| 2051 | Greatness is truly understanding and being able to work with your brain because I think that that lives in | 伟大的是真正的理解 和能够工作与你的大脑 因为我认为, |
| 2052 | In us and it's just a matter of understanding how your brain works and how to unlock | 在我们当中,这只是一个问题 理解你的大脑如何工作,如何解锁 |
| 2053 | that potential | 这种潜力 |
| 2054 | It's awesome. | 这是真棒。 |
| 2055 | Thanks for being here. | 谢谢你能来 |
| 2056 | Appreciate it. | 谢谢 |
| 2057 | Of course anytime amazing powerful. | 当然,任何惊人的力量。 |
| 2058 | Yay | 没错 |
| 2059 | People will say to me dr. K. I I have no motivation. | 人们会对我说K医生 我没有动机 |
| 2060 | That's incorrect | 这不对 |
| 2061 | You have a ton of motivation. | 你有很多动机 |
| 2062 | You have a ton of motivation to stay home | 你有一大堆留在家里的动机 |
| 2063 | You have a ton of motivation to play video games. | 你玩电子游戏的动机很大 |
| 2064 | There's such a powerful drive to return to the cap so identity shapes motivation | 有这么强大的驱动器 回到盖子 所以身份决定了动机 |
| 2065 | He is a psychiatrist the harbored trained physician and founder of healthy gamer | 他是一名精神科医生 被训练有素的医生 和健康的游戏家的创始人 |
| 2066 | One of the fastest the fastest | 一个最快的最快的 |
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