从竞选短信轰炸机到SNL舞台：塔拉里科用一场冷开场，把“政治
字幕摘录
| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| 0:04 | Thank you for coming. | 谢谢你能来 |
| 0:13 | This is the dream team right here, Chuck Schumer and Hakeem Jeffries, establishment Democrats. | 这是梦想团队 恰克·舒默和哈基姆·杰弗里斯 民主党人 |
| 0:23 | Do we even know how to lose? | 我们甚至知道怎么输吗? |
| 0:26 | Yes. | 对 |
| 0:29 | Well not this time. | 这次不行 |
| 0:30 | They said we'd never turn Texas blue and we proved them wrong. | 他们说我们永远不会让德克萨斯州变成蓝色 我们证明他们错了 |
| 0:35 | Oh, I live to prove people wrong, specifically people who think all black guys are cool. | 哦,我活着是为了证明人们错了, 特别是那些认为所有黑人都很酷的人. |
| 0:47 | Let's just say I'm not much Hakeem, whole lot of Jeffries. | 假设我不是很多哈基姆 全是杰弗里 |
| 0:53 | And not to take credit for the win, but that was all me. | 而不是为赢取荣誉,但这是我的全部。 |
| 0:58 | I found the candidates, I recruited them, and as a show of respect, they begged me not | 我找到候选人,招聘他们 为了表示尊重,他们求我不要 |
展开字幕全文（122 条）
| 序号 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Thank you for coming. | 谢谢你能来 |
| 2 | This is the dream team right here, Chuck Schumer and Hakeem Jeffries, establishment Democrats. | 这是梦想团队 恰克·舒默和哈基姆·杰弗里斯 民主党人 |
| 3 | Do we even know how to lose? | 我们甚至知道怎么输吗? |
| 4 | Yes. | 对 |
| 5 | Well not this time. | 这次不行 |
| 6 | They said we'd never turn Texas blue and we proved them wrong. | 他们说我们永远不会让德克萨斯州变成蓝色 我们证明他们错了 |
| 7 | Oh, I live to prove people wrong, specifically people who think all black guys are cool. | 哦,我活着是为了证明人们错了, 特别是那些认为所有黑人都很酷的人. |
| 8 | Let's just say I'm not much Hakeem, whole lot of Jeffries. | 假设我不是很多哈基姆 全是杰弗里 |
| 9 | And not to take credit for the win, but that was all me. | 而不是为赢取荣誉,但这是我的全部。 |
| 10 | I found the candidates, I recruited them, and as a show of respect, they begged me not | 我找到候选人,招聘他们 为了表示尊重,他们求我不要 |
| 11 | to appear at their campaign events. | 在他们的竞选活动中出现。 |
| 12 | And now that we're in charge, our first order of business will be to march right up to Donald | 瞷и竒烩恨 и材兜ㄆ薄 碞琌璶Donald |
| 13 | Trump, look him dead in the eye, and say, hey, knock it off, buster. | 川普,看着他死在眼里,说,嘿,别闹了,混蛋。 |
| 14 | Whoa, whoa, whoa, language, language. | 哇,哇,哇,语言,语言。 |
| 15 | Hey, but it's a new world. | 嘿,但这是一个新世界。 |
| 16 | This election marked a seismic shift in politics. | 这次选举标志着政治的地震转变. |
| 17 | Oh, I agree, I agree. | 哦,我同意,我赞成。 |
| 18 | These young Democrats have the base energized. | 这些年轻的民主党人使基地充满活力. |
| 19 | Perhaps it's time for us to step aside and pass the torch to the next generation. | 或许我们该让开 把火炬传给下一代 |
| 20 | Well, you know, I'd like to make a toast. | 嗯,你知道,我想 举杯。 |
| 21 | Let's raise our glasses, shall we? | 举杯吧 |
| 22 | To the Democrats, we flipped the House, we flipped the Senate, and how did we do it? | 对民主党,我们翻了众议院,翻了参议院,我们是如何做到的? |
| 23 | Me. | 来 |
| 24 | That's right. | 没错 |
| 25 | The Democrats never would have won without this horrible economy and terrible war. | 没有这种可怕的经济和可怕的战争,民主党就不可能获胜. |
| 26 | So in the words of Moana's big fat friend, you're welcome. | 故以摩阿那大胖友之言,不问. |
| 27 | (原始内容存档于2018-09-29). Bowie, Chris Rock. | |
| 28 | But now, I am lame duck. | 但是现在,我是瘸子鸭。 |
| 29 | They're saying the era of Trump is over. | 他们说特朗普时代已经结束了. |
| 30 | And the era of Vance has just begun. | 而万斯时代刚刚开始. |
| 31 | No, go away. | 不,走开。 |
| 32 | Eh, worth a shot. | 嗯,值得一试。 |
| 33 | Bye. | 再见。 |
| 34 | Who the hell was that? | 那是谁? |
| 35 | Anyway, it was blue tsunami. | 总之,这是蓝色海啸。 |
| 36 | We lost to the Democrats, or as I call them, Democrats. | 我们输给了民主党 或者我所说的民主党人 |
| 37 | Democrats. | 民主党人. |
| 38 | Took me a really long time to come up with Democrats. | 我花了很长时间才想到民主党人 |
| 39 | But I got there. | 但我已经到了 |
| 40 | You know, the other day we lost, and I didn't even say it was rigged. | 你知道,那天我们输了, 我甚至没有说它是操纵的。 |
| 41 | I accepted the results, which is almost scarier in a way. | 我接受了这些结果,从某种意义上说,这几乎更加可怕。 |
| 42 | It's like, what the hell is he planning? | 他到底在计划什么? |
| 43 | I'll tell you what I'm planning. | 我会告诉你我的计划。 |
| 44 | Ballroom. | 舞厅。 |
| 45 | That's it. | 就这样 |
| 46 | That's all I care about. | 这就是我关心的。 |
| 47 | Look at that beam. | 看那个梁子. |
| 48 | Big beam over there, look at that. | 那边的大梁,看看那个 |
| 49 | And marble, the likes of which you've never seen. | 还有大理石,你从未见过的 |
| 50 | Oh my God, I hate my life. | 哦,我的上帝,我讨厌我的生活。 |
| 51 | The next two years are going to be awful. | 接下来的两年将是可怕的。 |
| 52 | I don't want to work with these people. | 我不想和这些人合作 |
| 53 | It's not that they're Democrats, it's that they're millennials. | 不是说他们是民主党人,而是说他们是千年主义者. |
| 54 | Even worse, millennial cringe is back. | 更糟糕的是,千年的克林格回来了 |
| 55 | New girl, adorkable. | 新来的女孩,可敬。 |
| 56 | Mason jar wedding, et cetera, et cetera. | 梅森罐子婚礼等. |
| 57 | They'll be doing stomp clap songs. | 他们会拍拍拍的 |
| 58 | Holy moly, me oh my, you're the apple of my, kill me. | 老天爷,你是我的苹果,杀了我吧 |
| 59 | But to get back on track on the topic of new girl, | 但为了回到新女孩的话题上 |
| 60 | you know, that was a show where Jess was the new girl, | 你知道,那是一个节目 杰西是新女孩, |
| 61 | but really it was about ensemble, right? | 但实际上,它是关于综艺,对不对? |
| 62 | Schmink! | 施明克 施明克 施明克 |
| 63 | Winston, you know, I said, you got to figure out Winston. | 温斯顿,你知道的, 我说, 你得找出温斯顿。 |
| 64 | They didn't have Winston figured out the first couple of seasons. | 他们并没有让温斯顿想通 头两个赛季。 |
| 65 | When they gave him the cat, that's when they unlocked | 当他们把猫送给他时,他们就解锁了 |
| 66 | a lot of stories for Winston. | 温斯顿有很多故事 |
| 67 | But now all my friends are leaving me. | 但现在我的朋友都离开我了 |
| 68 | Oh, all the rats are jumping shit. | 哦,所有的老鼠都跳狗屎。 |
| 69 | Did someone say rat? | 有人说老鼠吗? |
| 70 | All right, cut the track, cut it. | 好了,切掉铁轨,切掉它。 |
| 71 | What's up, fart knockers? | 怎么了,屁屁敲门? |
| 72 | I just came here to promise you, Mr. President, | 我只是来向你保证,总统先生, |
| 73 | I will never, ever leave you. | 我永远不会离开你 |
| 74 | Of course not, Pete. | 当然不是,皮特。 |
| 75 | How's the war going? | 战争进展如何? |
| 76 | Is it still quagmire? | 还在犹豫吗? |
| 77 | Giggity. | 吉盖提曰. |
| 78 | We just keep moving forward harder, sir. | 我们继续往前走,先生 |
| 79 | You think some election is going to stop me? | 你觉得选举会阻止我吗? |
| 80 | Do I look like a person who gets less crazy | 我看起来像一个不疯狂的人吗? |
| 81 | when backed into a corner? | 当它倒入角落时? |
| 82 | I live a YOLO lifestyle. | 我过着YOLO的生活 |
| 83 | You only lose often. | 你经常输的 |
| 84 | So I'm going to keep losing for you, sir, | 所以我会为你继续输,先生, |
| 85 | unless Congress impeaches me. | 除非国会弹劾我 |
| 86 | But you won't let that happen, right? | 但你不会让这种事发生的 对吧? |
| 87 | Of course not, unless I do, which I will. | 当然,除非我这样做,我会这样做。 |
| 88 | Understood. | 明白吗? |
| 89 | Now, if you'll excuse me, | 现在,如果你不介意的话, |
| 90 | I have to go weigh the female soldiers. | 我得去给女兵打个重 |
| 91 | Peace out, war in. | 和平结束,战争结束 |
| 92 | Well, Pete, I hate to see you go, | 皮特 我讨厌看到你走 |
| 93 | but I'd love to watch you walk away. | 但我很想看你离开 |
| 94 | I'm an ass, man. | 我是一个屁股,男人。 |
| 95 | Really? | 真的吗? |
| 96 | You want the full show? | 你想要全场演出? |
| 97 | I'll give you the show. | 我给你表演。 |
| 98 | That's what I'm into these days. | 我对这几天很感兴趣 |
| 99 | What a primo toilet on Pete. | 皮特的马桶真烂 |
| 100 | But election is over now, | 但是选举已经结束了 |
| 101 | so I hope you enjoy what you voted for. | 所以我希望你喜欢你投的票 |
| 102 | John Ossoff, or as I call him, Pinky Herman. | 约翰·奥索夫 或者我叫他平奇·赫曼 |
| 103 | Abdul El-Sayed, or as I call him, Mom Donnie for men. | 阿卜杜勒·赛义德 或者我叫他唐尼妈妈 |
| 104 | And of course, down in Texas, Tala Frico. | 当然,在德克萨斯,塔拉弗里科。 |
| 105 | That's Senator Tala Frico. | 这是参议员塔拉·弗里科。 |
| 106 | Hi, America. | 嗨,美国。 |
| 107 | I'm James Tala Frico, the guy who's been... | 我是詹姆斯·塔拉·弗里科 那个一直... |
| 108 | the guy who's been texting you every day | 每天给你发短信的人 |
| 109 | asking for $5. | 要求5块 |
| 110 | In this economy, who can blame you? | 在这个经济中,谁能怪你? |
| 111 | But I think, Mr. President, | 但我认为,主席先生, |
| 112 | if we can work together, | 如果我们能合作 |
| 113 | we can make life better for everyday Americans. | 我们可以让每天美国人的生活更好。 |
| 114 | It's clear people want something new. | 很明显人们想要新的东西 |
| 115 | They want something different. | 他们想要不同的东西。 |
| 116 | I'm talking, of course, about SNL's cold opens. | 我说的当然是SNL的冷开。 |
| 117 | How many of these Trump freezers are they going to do? | 这些特朗普冷冻机中有多少会做?. |
| 118 | Infinity. | 无穷无尽. |
| 119 | Well, in that case, | 这样的话 |
| 120 | there's only one thing left to say. | 还有一件事要说 |
| 121 | Live from New York, it's time. | 从纽约来,是时候了 |
| 122 | CHEERING | 欢呼 |
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