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美国知名女演员突然离世,年仅36岁,曾出演多部热门影视剧,其

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0:00Losing my little brother, there's nothing like, he was my only sibling, and he was my失去我的弟弟,没有什么像, 他是我唯一的兄弟,他是我的
0:06younger sibling, and it was my job to protect him.弟弟 保护他是我的职责
0:12And when I lost him, I felt like I lost half of my soul.我失去他的时候 我觉得我失去了一半的灵魂
0:17I remember saying to somebody, and it hadn't even been a year, and I was like, don't ever,我记得我跟别人说过 一年都没有了 我当时想 永远不要
0:24ever expect me to get over the loss of him.永远希望我克服他的损失
0:28Because no matter how many years go by, he will always be beside me, and I will always因为不管过去了多少年,他永远在我身边,我永远
0:39be heartbroken about it, and I will never be able to get over it.我将永远无法克服它。
0:46Time does heal things, but time can also make you think differently and ask different questions时间确实可以治愈事物,但时间也可以让你有不同的思考,提出不同的问题.
0:56and wonder different things and realize different things that you wish you'd never realized.并想知道不同的东西 并意识到不同的事情 你希望你从来没有意识到。
1:09Even recently, when I see people make a big deal out of little things, and God bless them即使是最近,当我看到人们 做一个大事情 小事情, 上帝保佑他们
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1Losing my little brother, there's nothing like, he was my only sibling, and he was my失去我的弟弟,没有什么像, 他是我唯一的兄弟,他是我的
2younger sibling, and it was my job to protect him.弟弟 保护他是我的职责
3And when I lost him, I felt like I lost half of my soul.我失去他的时候 我觉得我失去了一半的灵魂
4I remember saying to somebody, and it hadn't even been a year, and I was like, don't ever,我记得我跟别人说过 一年都没有了 我当时想 永远不要
5ever expect me to get over the loss of him.永远希望我克服他的损失
6Because no matter how many years go by, he will always be beside me, and I will always因为不管过去了多少年,他永远在我身边,我永远
7be heartbroken about it, and I will never be able to get over it.我将永远无法克服它。
8Time does heal things, but time can also make you think differently and ask different questions时间确实可以治愈事物,但时间也可以让你有不同的思考,提出不同的问题.
9and wonder different things and realize different things that you wish you'd never realized.并想知道不同的东西 并意识到不同的事情 你希望你从来没有意识到。
10Even recently, when I see people make a big deal out of little things, and God bless them即使是最近,当我看到人们 做一个大事情 小事情, 上帝保佑他们
11for wanting it perfect, but when something that massive has happened to you, you really因为希望它完美, 但当事情如此大规模 发生在你身上, 你真的
12learn to pick your fights and just not let the little things upset you.学会选择你的战斗, 只是不要让小事让你难过。
13Because when something so horrific, so deep, so catastrophic happens in your life, there's因为当你生命中发生如此可怕,如此深沉,如此灾难性的事情时,
14not much that can really rock you.没有什么能真正震撼你。
15When my little brother passed away, my body did something I've never really seen it do我弟弟去世时 我的身体做了一些我从未见过的事
16before, which was within days, I basically just ballooned, ballooned out.几天之内,我基本上就气喘吁吁的
17And I know stress and cortisol running through your body can do that.我知道穿透你身体的压力和皮质醇可以做到这一点。
18I tried everything, everything unhealthy, everything healthy, you know, it didn't matter我尝试了一切, 一切不健康, 一切健康,你知道, 这不重要
19what I ate, it didn't matter what I did.我吃的东西,我做了什么不重要
20My body just was like, it was like protecting itself, like shielding itself from the world.我的身体就像, 它就像保护自己, 像保护自己免受世界。
21Got to see these horrific paparazzi pictures of me coming out of his funeral, which happened我得看看这些可怕的狗仔队的照片 我出自他的葬礼, 发生的事情
22in a very private place where we grew up, so it was shocking.在一个非常私人的地方,我们长大, 所以这是令人震惊的。
23And it just didn't even, I didn't even recognize myself.连我自己都认不出
24And it was making me, it was bringing out the agoraphobia in me as well, which isn't它使我,它带出 我的恐惧感,不是
25something I've always struggled with.我总是在挣扎
26I lived in sweatpants and t-shirts and things that swallowed me up and were not flattering我穿着汗裤和T恤 吃光了我,不爽
27on me.对我来说。
28It took me so long to pick out an outfit that I felt comfortable enough in to just leave我花了那么久才挑出一件衣服 穿起来很舒服就走了
29the house, go meet up with my friends.去见我的朋友
30And so it became like that really bad destructive hamster wheel of like, do I feel good enough所以它变得像 一个非常糟糕的破坏性仓鼠轮 像,我感觉足够好
31to go out?出去吗?
32I don't feel confident enough to, but if I don't go out and if I don't keep moving,我不够自信 但如果我不出去 如果我不继续移动
33then I'm gonna, I'm never gonna move away from looking like this.然后我会,我永远不会离开 看起来像这样。
34I became desperate because I wanted to keep working, but I didn't want to go and be miserable我绝望是因为我想继续工作 但我不想去 和痛苦
35on set and I didn't want to go to fittings and look at myself in the mirror and hate我不想去装配 看着自己在镜子和恨
36everything that I saw on myself.我亲眼所见的一切
37My publicist and close friend, Casey Kitchen, she, I was venting to her and she put me in我的公关员和密友凯西・基兴, 她,我给她通风报信,她把我英寸
38touch with my personal trainer, Marnie, and Marnie is just this incredible human being.和我的私人教练玛尔尼接触 玛尔尼就是个不可思议的人
39I've always hated working out.我一直讨厌工作
40Her approach towards not just the exercise part, which is mind boggling, but it's also她对锻炼部分的态度 不仅在思想上摇摆不定 而且还在
41the way that she goes about it.就像她那样
42It's not a boot camp.这不是一个靴子营。
43It's not somebody yelling at you.不是有人骂你
44It's not you leaving feeling disappointed in yourself.这不是你离开 感觉失望自己。
45She knew when it was just the right time to push me a little harder by saying, like,她知道,当它只是 合适的时机 推我更难,说,喜欢,
46you can do this, you're doing this for you.你可以做到这一点, 你这样做是为了你。
47I promise you, like, it will never hurt as bad as it hurts right now, this time.我答应你,像,它永远不会 痛得像现在,这次。
48Like, do it for you, girl.像,为你做,女孩。
49She became, you know, a friend.她成为了一个朋友
50She became a life coach.她成为了生活教练.
51It's not easy for someone in my position to trust people, especially people I haven't对于我这个位置的人来说 信任别人并不容易 尤其是我还没有信任的人
52known for a very long time, but she earned my trust and I told her I would confide in但她赢得了我的信任 我告诉她我会信任她
53her and confess everything and she knew how to make you feel just empowered.她坦白一切 她知道如何让你觉得自己有力量
54She's beautiful and she came out just like me.她很漂亮,她跟我一样出来
55I mean, talk about nature versus nurture.我的意思是,谈论自然与养育。
56I mean, this little girl literally came out, not just her face, like, resembling mine,我的意思是,这个小女孩 字面上出来, 不只是她的脸,喜欢,像,我的,
57but she is my personality.但她是我的个性
58She just is.她就是这样
59I saw her in her school play once.我看过她在学校的戏剧里
60It was more of like a Christmas special thing and she was more concerned about更像是圣诞特别的事 她更关心
61directing the kid next to her in his steps than she was about what she was doing.指挥她旁边的孩子 在他的脚步 比她在做什么。
62Like, leaving this poor kid alone, like, just do your stuff.像,让这个可怜的孩子一个人, 像,只是做你的东西。
63And she's like, come on, man, like, turn around.她就像,来吧,男人一样, 转身。
64What's wrong with you going like this in front of everyone?你在大家面前这样子有什么问题?
65I was like, that's mine.我很喜欢,这是我的。
66That's my kid.这是我的孩子。
67Yes, maybe she'll be a director.是的,也许她会成为一个导演。
68She golfs.她打高尔夫
69She was training for golf and even in the wintertime,她在训练高尔夫 甚至冬天
70she goes to those indoor ones with the screens.她去那些室内 有屏幕。
71She plays chess.她会下棋
72She was born, I mean, loving to swim and but horses are her life.她生来就喜欢游泳 但马是她的生命
73I was sitting down with her and her dad in Vladimir and he was telling me about this new school我在弗拉基米尔和她爸爸坐在一起 他告诉我新学校的事
74and she just sat there like this and he was telling me how she did not like to go to school她就这样坐在那儿 他告诉我她不喜欢上学
75and I was like, why?我当时想,为什么?
76And Vlad wanted to tell me, he said, why?Vlad想告诉我 为什么?
77Let me tell you why.让我告诉你为什么。
78Because some of her friends go to school by a bus and some of her friends get dropped off因为她的一些朋友坐公交车去上学 而她的一些朋友被送走
79by their parents or their nanny or they take care of this school or that.他们的父母或保姆 或他们照顾这个学校或那个学校。
80And Kaya doesn't like to go to her school because she has to go to school by boat.而卡雅也不喜欢上她的学校,因为她必须坐船上学.
81And I, of course, found that hilarious, but I did appreciate so much that she wanted to be,我当然觉得这很搞笑 但我非常感激她
82like, every other kid that, like, made my heart sing.像,其他的孩子, 像,让我的心脏唱歌。
83As I get older, I get a little trepidus about getting married.随着我长大,我得到一个小 特里皮德斯结婚。
84I just do love the idea of being with somebody who you can just,我只是很喜欢和一个人在一起的想法 你可以只是,
85you get to choose them every single day.你每天都可以选择他们
86For the right person, there are certain things I would want, though, to,对于合适的人,有些事情 我想,虽然,
87a certain place I would want both of us to be in our lives.某个地方,我会希望我们 都在我们的生活。
88And otherwise, I can always go do it myself now.否则,我可以自己去
89I'm in the midst of writing my autobiography, hopefully my first autobiography.我在写我的自传, 希望是我的第一个自传。
90And for somebody who's been in the spotlight for as long as I have been,对于一个在聚光灯下待了很久的人来说
91I have always been honest, but I've kept as much as I could of my private life to myself.我一向很诚实 但我一直尽我所能地保持我的私生活
92And with this one, I'm, you're gonna meet the real, the real me.有了这个,我,你会遇见真正的我。
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