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TEDx演讲:如何建立自信(即使你并不自信)

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时间英文中文
0:07Picture this.想象一下这个
0:09You're going on a boat trip,你要上船旅行,
0:12and you get on board with your family,你和家人一起上车
0:14and you got your bags,还有你的包
0:16and the captain comes out to greet you and says,船长出来迎接你,说:
0:20hi, my name's Montana Bonfless.嗨,我的名字是蒙大拿邦弗莱斯。
0:24Oh, so I'll be your captain for this journey.哦,所以我会做你的船长 在这次旅行。
0:29So, oh boy, let's just have a great trip, sorry.所以,哦,孩子,让我们有一个伟大的旅行,对不起。
0:37Nope, get me off of this boat.不,让我下船。
0:40What we want in that moment is for the captain我们想要的就是船长
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序号英文中文
1Picture this.想象一下这个
2You're going on a boat trip,你要上船旅行,
3and you get on board with your family,你和家人一起上车
4and you got your bags,还有你的包
5and the captain comes out to greet you and says,船长出来迎接你,说:
6hi, my name's Montana Bonfless.嗨,我的名字是蒙大拿邦弗莱斯。
7Oh, so I'll be your captain for this journey.哦,所以我会做你的船长 在这次旅行。
8So, oh boy, let's just have a great trip, sorry.所以,哦,孩子,让我们有一个伟大的旅行,对不起。
9Nope, get me off of this boat.不,让我下船。
10What we want in that moment is for the captain我们想要的就是船长
11to walk out and say, hi, my name is Montana Bonfless.出去说 嗨 我叫蒙大拿邦弗莱斯
12I'll be your captain for this journey.我将做你的船长 在这个旅程。
13Let's have a great trip.让我们有一个伟大的旅行。
14The point is, when you are the speaker,重点是,当你是演讲者时,
15you are the captain for that journey,你是那个旅程的船长
16and how you show up really matters.和如何你出现 真的重要。
17For the last 17 years, I've coached thousands of speakers过去17年,我教了成千上万的演讲者
18all over the world, from big tech companies全世界,来自大科技公司
19to small startups, and everyone,给小创业者和每个人,
20from new hires to CEOs of Fortune 500 companies,从新聘到财富500公司的首席执行官
21want to know, how do you show up and look confident?想知道,你怎么出现 和看起来自信?
22So I'd like to share my top five tips所以,我想分享我的前五个提示
23for how to be confident, even if you're not.即使你没有自信
24So let's break it down.故释之.
25What was the difference between those two captains?那两个队长有什么区别?
26What did you see, what did you hear?你看见什么了,你听到什么了?
27And not just, you know, one seemed nervous,而且不只是,你知道, 一个似乎紧张,
28one seemed confident, but what was I doing differently一个人看起来很自信,但我做了什么不同
29to make you think that?让你这么想?
30Different volume, different words,不同的音量,不同的词,
31certainly different body language,肯定的身体语言不同,
32but the truth is, I wasn't actually feeling但事实是,我并没有真正感觉到
33particularly confident.特别自信
34I was just making certain physical and vocal choices我只是做了一些身体和声音的选择
35to make you think that.让你这么想。
36You can do that too.你也可以做到这一点。
37Anyone can do this.任何人都可以做到这一点。
38So what are those confident-looking choices?那么那些自信的选择是什么?
39Number one, turn up the energy and speak up.第一,把能量调高,大声点
40When you speak up, even just a little bit,当你大声说话,甚至一点点,
41it reads as confident, and you don't have to shout.读起来很自信 你不必大喊大叫
42Think about it this way.这么想吧
43On a scale of one to 10, aim for a five.1到10分,瞄准5分
44Yes, it goes to 11, but you can just aim for a five.是的,它去11, 但你可以只是瞄准一个5。
45I'm here at a five right now.我现在在五点
46I can bring it back down to a three down here,我可以把它带回这里的3,
47nervous captain, and then we bring it back up to a five,紧张的队长,然后我们把它带回 到5,
48and it sounds prepared, positive, and confident.听起来有准备 积极 自信
49So turn up the energy and speak up.所以把能量调高,大声点
50Number two, pause like a boss.第二,像老板一样暂停
51Nervous speakers tend to talk really fast, right?紧张的扬声器往往说话非常快,对吧?
52And then when they do have a pause,然后当他们有一个暂停,
53they fill it in with verbal filler, likes and ums.他们填满了口头填充器, 喜欢和ums。
54However, if you try to speak more slowly,但是,如果你试着说得慢一点
55it just sounds like this, right?听起来是这样,对吧?
56And that's not better.也没什么好说的
57So instead, make strategic pauses.因此,进行战略暂停。
58Pause in transition.暂停过渡。
59Pause for emphasis.暂停强调。
60Pause like a boss.像老板一样暂停
61Number three, superhero stance.第三,超级英雄的立场。
62Imagine you are a superhero.想象你是一个超级英雄。
63You can do it from your chair.你可以从你的椅子上做到这一点。
64How would a superhero sit?超级英雄怎么坐?
65Yes, let that change your posture.是的,让这改变你的姿态。
66I see you, yes.我看见你了,是的。
67Let that bring a smile to your face,让这给你带来微笑
68and have some better eye contact.和一些更好的眼睛接触。
69All of that reads as confident,所有内容都是自信的
70and pretending to be a superhero is just a super quick way假装超级英雄只是个快速的方式
71to have confident looking body language.有自信的肢体语言。
72Now this one also goes to 11,现在这个也是11
73but you can just aim for a five,但你可以只瞄准一个5,
74and that will be great.这将是伟大的。
75Tuck in that cape and go save the day.插在斗篷里,去拯救今天。
76And you can stand in superhero backstage你可以站在超级英雄后台
77to boost your confidence, but I'm saying,为了增强你的信心 但我想说
78bring that superhero stance on stage把超级英雄的姿态带到舞台上
79so that your audience sees you as confident.让你的观众觉得你自信
80And if you need an easy shortcut, just make the shape.如果你需要一个简单的捷径, 就做形状。
81Just make the shape of a confident person.做个自信的人
82The audience cannot read your mind.观众无法理解你的想法。
83They don't know how you're feeling,他们不知道你的感受,
84so just make the shape, and they will go with it.所以,只要做形状, 他们会去。
85Like if you came over to my house for dinner,就像你来我家吃饭一样
86and I opened up the door, and I was like,我打开了门,我就像,
87hi, come on in, we're having chicken.嗨,进来,我们有鸡肉。
88You'd be like, oh, is this a bad time?你会觉得,哦,现在不是时候吗?
89You know, you gotta make the shape of a good host.你知道,你必须造型 一个好的东道主。
90Make the smile shape, right?让微笑的形状,对不对?
91Instead of crossed arm shape, open up.而不是跨臂形,打开。
92Hi, welcome, come on in.嗨,欢迎,进来吧。
93If you're not sure if you're making confident looking如果你不确定你有没有自信地看
94choices, you can just video yourself and watch it back.选择,你可以只是视频自己 并看回来。
95Feel like I just saw you say,感觉就像我刚才看到你说,
96not doing that one.不做那个。
97I know, most people don't like to watch themselves.我知道,大多数人不喜欢看自己。
98I get it, but wouldn't you rather make that adjustment我明白,但你宁愿调整一下
99before you're in front of your audience?在你站在观众面前之前?
100Yes, videoing yourself is a great way to check in是的,录影是检查的好方法
101to see that you're doing the techniques,看你正在做技术,
102but also to see that it's still authentically you,也是为了证明你还是真人
103your version of confident captain.你的自信的船长
104Now, how can you do all of these things on performance day?现在,你怎么能做所有这些事情 在表演日?
105Number four, practice with purpose.第四,有目的的练习。
106So make yourself a rehearsal schedule.那就做个排练计划吧
107Put it in your calendar.把它放在日历上
108You can give yourself a little treat你可以给自己一个小招待
109when you do a run through, and make it practice with purpose当你们运行的时候,
110by giving yourself a specific goal or layering给自己一个特定的目标或层次
111in one new confident captain technique each day.每天都有新的自信队长技术
112If it's a week before your event, aim to run it如果这是你活动前一周, 打算运行它
113all the way through at least once a day.每天至少经过一次
114And if you don't have time for a full run through,如果你没有时间 完全通过,
115just take the opening, closing, run that three times打开,关闭,运行三次
116in a row from anywhere, when you're in the shower,排队从任何地方, 当你在淋浴,
117and when you're walking your dog,当你走你的狗,
118when you're making a meal for your kids.当你为孩子做饭的时候
119I know my kids are very used to me walking我知道我的孩子很习惯我走路
120around the house talking to myself.绕着房子和我说话
121Whatever you need to do to get in those repetitions.无论你需要做什么 得到在这些重复。
122And don't be afraid of over practice.别害怕过度练习
123Don't let that stop you.别让那阻止你
124You can just let go of your verbatim script你可以放下你的逐字记录稿
125if it's starting to sound robotic.如果它开始听起来机器人。
126And you can still use bullet point speaker notes你还可以用弹点语录
127to remind yourself of what you would like to say,提醒自己你想说什么
128and to invite you to say it a little bit differently并邀请你 说得有点不同
129each time to keep it fresh.每次都要保持新鲜
130And let me be clear, by practice,让我说清楚,通过实践,
131I mean standing up, saying it out loud,我的意思是站起来,大声说出来,
132imagining your audience and inviting them in,想象一下你的观众 邀请他们进来
133clicking through your slides,点击幻灯片,
134doing it as much like it will be on the day,做它像它将在白天,
135whether it's virtual or in person.无论是虚拟还是当面。
136And I know it might feel a little funny我知道这也许有点好笑
137saying it out loud to yourself,大声说出来,
138but think about when you learn a new sport,但想想当你学习新的运动,
139or when you practice a musical instrument.或者当你练习乐器时
140If you had a piano concert on Friday,如果你星期五有钢琴演奏会
141and you got new music on Monday,你周一有新音乐
142would you only read your music every day,你会每天只读你的音乐,
143and then play it for the very first time然后第一次弹
144at the concert on Friday?在星期五的音乐会上?
145No way.不会吧
146And yet I see speakers do this all the time.但我看到发言者总是这样做。
147Give yourself a chance.给自己一个机会。
148Practice helps everything.实践对一切有帮助.
149And it can really boost your confidence这能增强你的信心
150to practice with purpose目的练习
151by layering in one new technique each day.每天用一种新技术进行分层
152Okay, those first four techniques,好吧,这四个技术,
153they're all about how to appear confident,他们都想着如何表现自信
154regardless of how you're feeling.无论你的感受如何
155I've got one more technique for you, and it's a big one.我还有一种技术给你,这是个很大的技术.
156But this is the real gem.但这是真正的宝石。
157It's the one that makes all the others shine.令一切众生发光者.
158This is number five, the silent sentence.此是第五无声句.
159This is about what you choose to tell yourself.这是关于你选择告诉自己的。
160I've been a professional actor since I was a kid,我从小就是职业演员
161and I have always loved going on stage我一直喜欢上台
162as an actor, as a speaker, as an emcee.作为演员,作为演说家,作为皇帝.
163And at the same time, I have often been同时,我经常
164not just nervous, sometimes downright terrified不只是紧张,有时还吓坏了
165to step on a stage.踩在舞台上。
166I'm shaking, I'm sweating, and I'm like,我颤抖,我流汗,我很喜欢,
167what was I thinking?我当时在想什么?
168Why do I do this to myself?我为什么要这样对自己?
169And all these unhelpful voices flood in,和所有这些无益的声音 淹没,
170and I just tried to make it stop, push it away,我只是想让它停下来 把它推开
171and of course, that never worked.当然,它从来没有成功。
172And I kept going on stage because I love it.我继续上台是因为我喜欢
173And years later, when I became a speaker coach,几年后 当我成为扬声器教练时
174I got asked to do all these professional presentations,我被要求做所有这些专业演讲,
175and they went well, but I still had no way to deal他们进展顺利,但我还是没有办法
176with that massive anxiety.与巨大的焦虑。
177And I was like, what can I do?我当时想,我能做什么?
178And I thought, well, what am I telling myself?我想,好吧,我该怎么告诉自己?
179What if you mess up?如果你搞砸了怎么办?
180You better be perfect.你最好完美一点
181I realized I was giving myself an impossible instruction我意识到我给自己一个不可能的指示
182to be perfect, and that really was not working.完美无缺 这真的行不通
183But what would work?但是,什么会起作用?
184What would be a better message?还有什么更好的信息?
185And to figure that out, I had to go back to square one,我不得不回到原点
186like, what do I want?喜欢,我想要什么?
187Why did I say yes to this speaking gig?我为什么要答应这个演讲演出?
188What is my deeper purpose here?我更深层的目的是什么?
189And I realized at the heart of it,我意识到它的核心,
190I just wanna help my audience to the best of my ability.我只想尽我所能帮助观众
191And when I said that, I noticed everything change.当我说,我注意到一切改变。
192And that's where I found my first silent sentence.这就是我发现 我的第一个沉默句子。
193I want to help my audience to the best of my ability.我想尽我所能帮助观众
194When I said it even silently to myself,当我悄悄地对自己说
195it acted like this override switch.它的行为就像这个控制开关。
196Like, I might still be shaking and sweating,我可能还在发抖和流汗
197but now I have this higher goal, this deeper purpose,但现在我的目标更高 目标更深
198and everything aligned to that,和一切与之一致,
199and that became my highest priority.这成为我的最高优先
200I want to help you.我想帮你
201And now that thought replaced those unhelpful thoughts,现在这种想法取代了那些无益的想法,
202and everything went better in my performance.我表现得更好
203And I was like, yes, it worked, yay!我很喜欢,是的,它的工作,耶!
204And then I was like, wait,然后我就说,等等,
205how do I do this every time?我每次都会怎么做?
206Especially when the stakes are high.特别是赌注很高的时候
207And it dawned on me, like, if I'm writing如果我在写作,我就会明白
208and crafting the words I say out loud,并设计出我大声说的话,
209why not write and craft the words I say silently to myself?为何不写出我对自己默默地说的话?
210Put it in the script.放到剧本里去
211It's the silent part of the script.剧本的无声部分.
212So now, every time I rehearse,所以现在,每次我排练,
213every time I walk onto a stage,每次我走进舞台
214every time I join a virtual meeting,每次我参加虚拟会议
215I say the following new and evolved silent sentence.我说以下新的和进化的沉默句子。
216I invite you to be here with me我邀请你陪我
217while I am here with you当我和你在一起的时候
218so that I can make this easier for you.这样我就能让你轻松些了
219Now, that invitation to myself to be present,现在,邀请我出席,
220that's my definition of stage presence, being present.这就是我对舞台存在的定义,在场。
221And that invitation to the audience, to be my partner,和邀请观众, 作为我的合作伙伴,
222that reminds me, these are friends, not foes,提醒我,他们是朋友,不是敌人,
223and I am choosing to be here.我选择在这里。
224And now I'm not just making the shape of a good host,现在我不只是做一个好主人的形状,
225I really am a good host我真的是个好主人
226because I am genuinely welcoming you to my world.因为我真的欢迎你来到我的世界
227Now, how do you go about finding your silent sentence?现在,你如何去寻找 你沉默的句子?
228What do you want?你想怎样?
229What's your deeper purpose?更深层的目的是什么?
230You could be like me,你可以像我一样
231and you might just wanna help people.你也许只是想帮助别人
232Or it could be something more specific.或者可能更具体一些
233For example, you might want at least one person例如,你可能需要至少一个人
234in your audience to walk out and take a CPR class.在你的观众 走出 并参加一个心肺复苏课程。
235Or maybe you're just super excited to have this experience或许你对有这种经历太兴奋了
236or share with them some cool solution或者和他们分享一些很酷的解决方案
237you have for their problem.你有他们的问题。
238You get to fill in the blank你要填满空白
239and decide what you want to accomplish.并且决定你要完成什么。
240And this is not about graduating这与毕业无关
241to some higher level of being更高级别
242where you never again feel nervous.你再也不会感到紧张
243Yeah, I know I haven't.是的,我知道我没有。
244I was feeling it pretty big about 15 minutes ago,15分钟前我感觉很大
245getting ready to walk on this stage,准备好走在这个舞台上,
246and I am and probably always will be我是,而且可能永远是
247a recovering perfectionist.一个恢复的完美主义者。
248That is a well-worn pathway in my brain.那是我脑海中一条漫长的道路
249It is there, it exists, it cannot be erased.它存在,存在,无法抹去。
250But now I have this other pathway.但现在我还有一条路要走
251And when big moments like this come up, I get to choose.当这种重大的时刻出现时,我可以选择。
252And that's what I was doing back there in the wings.这就是我在后面的翅膀。
253I was choosing to gently insist我选择轻轻地坚持
254on repeating my silent sentence重复我沉默的一句话
255to set myself up for success.为自己的成功做准备
256What we tell ourselves really matters.我们对自己说的话真的很重要
257We follow our own instructions all day long.我们整天听从自己的指示
258Our whole selves are always listening.我们自己总是在听
259So when you notice something isn't going well所以当你发现事情不顺利
260or you're fearing something might not go well in the future,或者你担心将来会出事
261use this checklist.使用此核对表。
262What am I telling myself?我对自己说什么?
263What's being broadcast?什么广播?
264Then replace that with a better sentence那就换个更好的句子
265to help set you up for where you'd like to go.帮你安排你想去的地方
266And most importantly, put it in the script and practice it.最重要的是,把它放在剧本中 并练习它。
267Practice it just as much as the words you say out loud.就像你大声说出来一样
268So if you're running your intro in the shower所以,如果你在洗澡时做你的介绍
269three times in a row, it would go silent bit, out loud bit,连续三次, 它会悄悄地走, 大声地走出去,
270silent, out loud, silent, out loud安静,大声,大声,大声
271until it is inextricably linked直到它变得密不可分
272and it is just a part of your process它只是你进程的一部分
273and it is repeatable and reliable.而且是可重复和可靠的。
274And then it's just there for you when you need it.然后它就在那里 当你需要它。
275Now I wanna leave you with this final thought.现在我想把最后的想法留给你
276When you're at home and you're practicing在家练习的时候
277some of these techniques,其中一些技术,
278like turn up the energy and speak up,就像把能量调高 说话
279pause like a boss, superhero stance,暂停,像老板,超级英雄姿态,
280practice with purpose and your silent sentence,有目的的练习 和你沉默的句子,
281please know that it might feel uncomfortable at first请知道,它可能感到不舒服 起初
282because it's new and that is normal.因为它是新的,这是正常的。
283But think back to when I was demonstrating但想想当我在示威时
284the nervous captain at the top.紧张的船长在顶部。
285How did that make you feel?你觉得怎么样?
286And then when the confident captain came out,然后当自信的船长出来时
287oh, what a relief.哦,多么宽慰。
288Now I can just sit back and enjoy the ride.现在我可以坐下来享受旅程了
289Remember that feeling of safety you had as an audience member记住你作为观众的安全感
290and bring that into your next rehearsal.把它带进你的下一次排练。
291You can give that gift to your audience.你可以把这个礼物给你的观众。
292Reach outside your comfort zone到达你的舒适区域之外
293to make your audience feel safe让你的观众感到安全
294by making the choices of a confident captain.通过选择一个自信的船长。
295And who knows, you might even have fun.谁知道呢,你甚至会玩得开心
296Have a great trip.一路顺风
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