如何比99%的人更清晰地表达你的想法
字幕摘录
| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| 0:00 | Every time you speak, people are making a decision. | 每次你说话 人们都在做决定 |
| 0:02 | Is this someone I can trust, | 我信不过这个人 |
| 0:04 | or is this someone that I tune out of? | 还是我调出的人? |
| 0:06 | Running my company acquisition.com taught me this. | 运行我的公司收购。 com教会了我这一点。 |
| 0:09 | Leadership lives or dies by your communication. | 领导者是死是活 |
| 0:11 | If you cannot communicate like a leader, | 如果你不能像领导者一样沟通 |
| 0:13 | then you will never be trusted like one. | 那样的话,你们就不会像信任的人一样受信任。 |
| 0:14 | So let me show you the five behaviors | 让我告诉你这五种行为 |
| 0:16 | that are quietly killing your executive presence | 正在悄悄地杀死你的行政存在 |
| 0:19 | and exactly what to do instead. | 确切地说,该做什么呢? |
展开字幕全文（392 条）
| 序号 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Every time you speak, people are making a decision. | 每次你说话 人们都在做决定 |
| 2 | Is this someone I can trust, | 我信不过这个人 |
| 3 | or is this someone that I tune out of? | 还是我调出的人? |
| 4 | Running my company acquisition.com taught me this. | 运行我的公司收购。 com教会了我这一点。 |
| 5 | Leadership lives or dies by your communication. | 领导者是死是活 |
| 6 | If you cannot communicate like a leader, | 如果你不能像领导者一样沟通 |
| 7 | then you will never be trusted like one. | 那样的话,你们就不会像信任的人一样受信任。 |
| 8 | So let me show you the five behaviors | 让我告诉你这五种行为 |
| 9 | that are quietly killing your executive presence | 正在悄悄地杀死你的行政存在 |
| 10 | and exactly what to do instead. | 确切地说,该做什么呢? |
| 11 | Number one is stop over explaining. | 第一是停止解释。 |
| 12 | You can have the best ideas in the room, | 你可以有最好的主意 在房间里, |
| 13 | but if you can't actually communicate them clearly, | 但是,如果你不能 真正沟通他们, |
| 14 | you will always follow somebody who can. | 你会永远跟随一个人 谁可以。 |
| 15 | And the thing is, is that trust erodes | 问题是 信任会侵蚀 |
| 16 | with every weak behavior that you let slide. | 所有你放任的软弱行为 |
| 17 | You don't need to add behaviors to be taken seriously. | 你不需要添加行为来被认真对待. |
| 18 | You actually just need to eliminate the ones | 其实你只需要去除那些 |
| 19 | that make you look weak. | 这让你看起来很软弱 |
| 20 | The most intelligent people in the room, | 房间里最聪明的人 |
| 21 | they rarely say the most. | 他们很少说最多。 |
| 22 | They actually usually say the least, | 他们通常至少说, |
| 23 | but every word that they say | 但他们所说的每一句话, |
| 24 | lands with people that are there. | 土地与人们在那里。 |
| 25 | I used to be the queen of over explaining, | 我曾经是王后 过度解释, |
| 26 | and I did it for multiple reasons. | 我这么做有多种原因 |
| 27 | One, I felt like if I didn't give people | 第一,我觉得如果我不给别人 |
| 28 | every single thing from my brain | 我脑中的每一件事 |
| 29 | that they weren't gonna understand the concept | 他们不会理解这个概念 |
| 30 | when it was actually the fact | 当它实际上是事实 |
| 31 | that I didn't know how to simplify concepts. | 我不知道如何简化概念。 |
| 32 | The second is that I felt not sure in what I was saying, | 第二,我觉得我不知道我说什么, |
| 33 | and so I talked around the thing a million ways | 于是我用一百万种方式谈论了这件事 |
| 34 | until I finally was like, | 直到我终于喜欢, |
| 35 | does the person understand the message? | 这个人听懂留言了吗? |
| 36 | And then the third thing was that | 还有第三件事 |
| 37 | if somebody wasn't giving me the reaction that I wanted, | 如果有人不给我我想要的反应, |
| 38 | I felt unsure, uncertain, doubtful, | 我觉得不确定 不确定 怀疑 |
| 39 | so then I kept talking and it was out of nervousness. | 于是我不停地说话 是因为紧张 |
| 40 | And so it wasn't until I got into a setting | 所以直到我进入一个环境 |
| 41 | where I was leading a big team | 在那里我领导一个大团队 |
| 42 | where I realized that I watched myself on a meeting | 在那里,我意识到 我看着自己在开会 |
| 43 | and I was replaying it | 我在重弹 |
| 44 | because I felt like I didn't get the reaction | 因为我觉得自己没有得到反应 |
| 45 | I wanted out of my team. | 我想离开我的团队。 |
| 46 | And when I watched them watching me, | 当我看着他们看着我时 |
| 47 | I was just talking in circles. | 我只是在说圈子。 |
| 48 | At some point, they tune out. | 在某些时候,他们调出。 |
| 49 | They're like, you're just said it six times already. | 他们就像,你刚刚说了六遍。 |
| 50 | Like, I don't need to hear you say it again, lady. | 我不需要听你再说一遍,女士 |
| 51 | Like, we already know. | 像,我们已经知道了。 |
| 52 | The second is that I didn't come off confident. | 第二,我没有自信。 |
| 53 | So people started to check out | 所以人们开始检查 |
| 54 | because they're like, suddenly they're like, | 因为他们喜欢, 突然他们喜欢, |
| 55 | well, I don't wanna listen to you | 好吧,我不想听你的话 |
| 56 | because you're not an expert. | 因为你不是专家 |
| 57 | Because experts and people who are confident, | 因为有自信的专家和人士 |
| 58 | people who know their shit, | 谁知道自己的狗屎, |
| 59 | they don't need to talk that much about the thing. | 他们不需要谈那么多事情 |
| 60 | They just say it, they assume that you understand, | 他们只是说, 他们假设你明白, |
| 61 | they move on. | 他们继续前进。 |
| 62 | Here's the thing. | 事情是这样的 |
| 63 | If you pause and you're okay with silence, | 如果你停下来,你没事的沉默, |
| 64 | it gives people time to process and respect your words. | 它让人们有时间处理和尊重你的话 |
| 65 | Authority is felt when one speaks | 当有人说话时,就感觉到权威 |
| 66 | as if they're expected to be heard, | 仿佛他们应该被听到, |
| 67 | not as if they're hoping to be heard. | 不像他们希望听到 |
| 68 | So when your communication's tight, | 所以当你的通讯很紧, |
| 69 | your thinking appears sharp, even if it's imperfect. | 你的想法看起来很尖锐, 即使它是不完美的。 |
| 70 | When people are trying to improve their executive presence, | 当人们试图改善他们的行政存在, |
| 71 | the first thing that I say is you have less time to talk. | 我说的第一件事是 你没有多少时间说话 |
| 72 | They're usually taking up | 他们通常要接受 |
| 73 | way too much time when they're speaking. | 他们说话的时间太长了 |
| 74 | A trick that I do with my executives, for example, | 比如我和高管们的诡计 |
| 75 | is that when I'm having them present | 当我看到他们的时候 |
| 76 | in our quarterly off sites, in our meetings, | 在我们的季度 关闭网站, 在我们的会议, |
| 77 | oftentimes they say, well, how many slides can I get? | 他们经常说,嗯,我能得到多少幻灯片? |
| 78 | I'm like, it's not about how many slides you get. | 我很喜欢,这不是关于 你得到多少幻灯片。 |
| 79 | You get two minutes to talk. | 你有两分钟时间谈 |
| 80 | However many slides you want in there, great. | 不管你想放多少幻灯片,太好了。 |
| 81 | But I try to constrain the amount of talk time they have | 但我试图限制他们的时间 |
| 82 | because it will constrain them to a certain amount of time, | 因为那会使他们延迟到一定的时间。 |
| 83 | which makes them bring the message down | 使他们能传达教诲, |
| 84 | to only the most important points. | 只有最重要的一点。 |
| 85 | Because if not, right, | 因为如果没有,正确的, |
| 86 | is most of the time they're over explaining. | 大部分时间他们都在解释 |
| 87 | And over explaining makes them sound insecure, | 并解释 让他们听起来不安全, |
| 88 | which is why people don't listen to you in the first place | 这就是为什么人们一开始不听你的 |
| 89 | or take you seriously. | 或者认真对待你 |
| 90 | There's a quote by Warren Buffett | 沃伦·巴菲特的引言 |
| 91 | that says the one easy way to become worth 50% more | 这说明一个容易的方法 成为价值50%以上 |
| 92 | than you are right now is literally just | 而不是你现在,就是 |
| 93 | to hone down your communication skills. | 来提升你的沟通能力 |
| 94 | Number two is that we want to stop fidgeting. | 第二,我们想停止虚构。 |
| 95 | What you say does not matter | 你说的不重要 |
| 96 | if your body language is saying the opposite. | 如果你的身体语言 说相反。 |
| 97 | People won't follow somebody who looks uncertain. | 人们不会跟随一个看起来不确定的人 |
| 98 | So if your voice and your body are not aligning, | 所以如果你的声音和身体不协调 |
| 99 | people don't trust either of those things | 人们不相信这些东西 |
| 100 | because your energy reads as nervous and uncertain. | 因为你的能量读作紧张和不确定 |
| 101 | And people don't want to follow somebody | 人们不想跟随别人 |
| 102 | who comes off nervous and uncertain. | 紧张和不确定 |
| 103 | So instead, instead of being nervous | 而不是紧张 |
| 104 | 钩и妓 chew | |
| 105 | and playing with your hair and playing with your nails | 和玩你的头发 和玩你的指甲 |
| 106 | and like doing all sorts of things, | 就像做各种事情一样 |
| 107 | instead you want to be controlled, precise and slow. | 相反,你想被控制,精确和缓慢。 |
| 108 | Now, why does this work? | 现在,为什么这样做? |
| 109 | One, having a strong posture, having a strong presence, | 一,有强势姿态,有强大的存在, |
| 110 | standing up straight, putting your hands together, | 站直了,把手放在一起, |
| 111 | having your shoulders back, sitting up straight, | 背着肩膀,坐直了 |
| 112 | that shows that you're grounded even if you are unsure. | 这表明你被禁足 即使你不确定。 |
| 113 | And it also signals to you that you're grounded. | 也表示你被禁足了 |
| 114 | The second is that the way that you position yourself | 第二,你选择自己的方式 |
| 115 | literally signals to somebody how you feel about yourself. | 从字面上向别人表明你对自己的感觉 |
| 116 | So think about somebody who's really confident in themselves | 想想一个自信的人 |
| 117 | and then think about how they stand, stand that way, right? | 然后想一想他们的立场,站在那边,对吗? |
| 118 | If somebody is very confident, they're standing like this, | 如果有人很自信,他们就像这样站着, |
| 119 | they might be using a lot of gestures, they feel open, | 他们可能用了很多手势, 他们觉得开放, |
| 120 | they feel big and they're taking up a lot of space, right? | 他们觉得自己很大 而且占用了很多空间,对吧? |
| 121 | When you think about somebody who's not confident, | 当你想到一个人 谁不自信, |
| 122 | you probably think of like more hunched over like this, | 你可能觉得 像这样更直觉, |
| 123 | they're doing some uncertain stuff, it looks fidgety | 他们正在做一些不确定的事情, 它看起来虚无 |
| 124 | and they're slouching, they don't look sure about themselves. | 而且他们很淫荡 他们看起来不太确定自己 |
| 125 | I remember actually that I had a director of operations | 我记得我有个业务主任 |
| 126 | and she was really great at managing projects. | 她很擅长管理项目 |
| 127 | But the moment that it got to, | 但是,当它得到的时刻, |
| 128 | okay, we're going to command the team, | 好吧,我们要去指挥团队, |
| 129 | we're gonna tell the team what to do, | 我们要告诉团队该怎么做 |
| 130 | she had the weirdest fidgeting. | 她有最怪异的花样。 |
| 131 | And so she would do two things. | 所以她会做两件事 |
| 132 | One, she would bite her nails, I guess on the calls. | 一,她会咬她的指甲, 我猜在电话。 |
| 133 | She wouldn't stop biting her nails | 她不会停止咬指甲 |
| 134 | and she would be talking on her nails. | 她会用指甲说话 |
| 135 | I was like, it's such a little thing, | 我当时想,这太小了, |
| 136 | but it makes a difference. | 但有区别 |
| 137 | And the second thing she would do | 她会做的第二件事 |
| 138 | is she would constantly be doing like this with her hair | 她会一直这样发型 |
| 139 | and just playing with her hair. | 只是玩弄她的头发。 |
| 140 | And she wouldn't ever stop fidgeting. | 而且她不会停止寻找。 |
| 141 | And her fidgeting actually signaled to me | 她的虚构其实给我信号 |
| 142 | that she was nervous or uncertain. | 她紧张或不确定 |
| 143 | And so I had a call with her and I said, | 所以我跟她打了个电话 然后说 |
| 144 | hey, I actually think the one thing that you could do | 嘿,我其实认为一件事 你可以做 |
| 145 | that would make the biggest difference | 这将是最大的变化 |
| 146 | into how you lead this team | 进入你如何领导这个团队 |
| 147 | is I just need you to get some fake nails | 我只是需要你弄些假钉子 |
| 148 | so you stop biting them. | 你别再咬他们了 |
| 149 | And so it was really funny | 所以这真的很有趣 |
| 150 | because she actually went to the nail salon, | 因为她真的去了指甲沙龙 |
| 151 | got fake nails, and then she stopped biting her nails. | 有假指甲 然后她停止咬指甲 |
| 152 | And it actually made her look much more confident | 这让她看起来更加自信 |
| 153 | with the team because she didn't have this nervous fidget | 因为她没有这个神经质 |
| 154 | that she was doing. | 她这样做。 |
| 155 | Think about how if you see a CEO on a stage | 想一想,如果你看到一个CEO在舞台上 |
| 156 | versus let's say a customer support rep, | 比方说客户支持代表 |
| 157 | how do you think they're gonna show up differently? | 你觉得他们会怎样出现? |
| 158 | How are they going to walk? | 他们怎么走路? |
| 159 | How are they going to talk? | 他们要怎么说话? |
| 160 | Where are they gonna put their hands? | 他们要放哪里? |
| 161 | How are they gonna move their hands? | 他们怎么动手? |
| 162 | It's like the CEO is probably going | 这就像CEO可能去 |
| 163 | to have very intentional gestures. | 有非常有意的姿态。 |
| 164 | They're gonna use their hands to tell a story. | 他们会用手讲故事 |
| 165 | They're gonna bring people into it. | 他们会把人牵扯进来的 |
| 166 | Whereas the customer support rep might be fidgeting. | 而客户支持代表可能正在分裂。 |
| 167 | They might be talking like this. | 他们可能会这样说话 |
| 168 | They might be going like this. | 他们可能会这样 |
| 169 | They might be rubbing their arm. | 他们可能在擦手臂 |
| 170 | They'll be playing with their hair. | 他们会玩弄他们的头发。 |
| 171 | And so you have to remember | 所以你必须记住 |
| 172 | what executive presence looks like. | 什么样的行政存在。 |
| 173 | And most people have some kind of nervous fidget | 大多数人都有些神经质 |
| 174 | that they do or they ramble. | 是他们做的,是他们自欺欺人。 |
| 175 | And those things distract them from what they're saying. | 而那些东西会分散他们的注意力 |
| 176 | It steals their confidence and it steals attention | 它偷走了他们的信心 也偷走了注意力 |
| 177 | that the audience would have on what you're saying. | 观众会了解你所说的 |
| 178 | And now they're watching the thing that you're doing. | 现在,他们正在看你正在做的事情。 |
| 179 | So end of the day, | 所以今天结束 |
| 180 | we want to replace the nervous fidgets, | 我们要取代那些神经质 |
| 181 | the slouching, the weird gestures | 淫荡,诡异的姿态 |
| 182 | with adopting a slow, precise, | 以缓慢的、准确的、 |
| 183 | and grounded posture and movement | 和有根据的姿态和动向 |
| 184 | that make people instinctively trust you more. | 让人们本能地相信你 |
| 185 | Number three is we want to stop asking for permission. | 第三,我们要停止请求许可 |
| 186 | You don't get appointed to be the leader. | 你没有被任命为领袖 |
| 187 | You claim leadership through behavior. | 你通过行为声称领导。 |
| 188 | If you don't step in and own something, | 如果你不介入和拥有的东西, |
| 189 | take ownership, become a leader, somebody else might. | 成为领导者,其他人可能。 |
| 190 | And that person might be dumber and less qualified than you, | 那个人可能比你笨 更不合格 |
| 191 | which is the funny part. | 这是有趣的部分。 |
| 192 | It might not be your job, | 这也许不是你的工作, |
| 193 | but it is your responsibility | 但这是你的责任 |
| 194 | to take ownership in situations. | 在情况中拥有所有权。 |
| 195 | And people with a high executive presence | 和那些有高执行权的人 |
| 196 | do that automatically. | 自动的 |
| 197 | I remember when I was in college | 我记得我在大学的时候 |
| 198 | and I was put on this project and there were four of us, | 我被安排在这个项目上 我们四个人 |
| 199 | was actually out sick. | 其实是出了病。 |
| 200 | I'd had the flu. | 我感冒了 感冒了 |
| 201 | And so when I came in, I had this group of four of us. | 所以当我进来的时候,我有一个四人小组。 |
| 202 | And I was like, okay, the project's due in two weeks. | 我当时想,好吧, 这个项目两周后就要开始了。 |
| 203 | Like, where are we at? | 像,我们在哪里? |
| 204 | And everyone was like, I don't know. | 每个人都喜欢,我不知道。 |
| 205 | We haven't started, we this, we that. | 我们还没有开始,我们这个,我们那个。 |
| 206 | And I was like, what? | 我当时想,什么? |
| 207 | I was like, guys, we're not gonna get this done. | 我当时想,伙计们, 我们不会做到这一点。 |
| 208 | And so I realized, I was like, | 于是我意识到,我... |
| 209 | I need to stop waiting for them to say, | 我必须停止等待他们说, |
| 210 | hey, you lead this project. | 嘿,你领导这个项目。 |
| 211 | And I was like, fuck. | 我就像,他妈的。 |
| 212 | I got home that night. | 那晚我回到家了 回家的时候 |
| 213 | I put together the whole plan. | 整个计划我都安排好了 |
| 214 | I said, I'm gonna do this. | 我说,我会做到这一点。 |
| 215 | John's gonna do this. | 约翰会这么做的 |
| 216 | Sarah's gonna do this. | 莎拉会做到这一点。 |
| 217 | Here's how it's gonna go. | 曰如何是法门. |
| 218 | Here's the timeline. | 这是时间 |
| 219 | Here's what we're gonna do. | 如下诸法. |
| 220 | We're gonna meet after school tomorrow. | 明天放学后见 |
| 221 | So I came the next day. | 第二天我就来了 |
| 222 | I brought them the plan. | 我给他们带来了计划。 |
| 223 | We put it all together. | 我们把它拼凑在一起。 |
| 224 | And guess what? | 你猜怎么着? |
| 225 | I didn't ask to be the leader, | 我没有要求做领袖, |
| 226 | but then they all started coming to me. | 但后来他们都来找我 |
| 227 | Hey, does this look okay? | 嘿,这看起来好吗? |
| 228 | Do you think I should do anything differently? | 你觉得我该做点别的吗? |
| 229 | What do you think I should do here? | 你觉得我应该在这里做什么? |
| 230 | How should I do this? | 我该怎么做? |
| 231 | And suddenly I became the leader in that situation. | 突然间我成为了那种情况下的领导者. |
| 232 | Now I didn't wait for somebody to say, | 现在我没有等待 有人说, |
| 233 | hey, we need a leader here. | 嘿,我们需要一个领袖在这里。 |
| 234 | I just said, hey, there's no leader. | 我只是说,嘿,没有领导者。 |
| 235 | Maybe I should step the fuck up and do it myself. | 也许我该自己去干 |
| 236 | Now, why does this work? | 现在,为什么这样做? |
| 237 | Leaders are followed because they create certainty. | 领导人受到追随,因为他们创造了确定性。 |
| 238 | If you don't create certainty in your team | 如果你的团队没有建立确定性 |
| 239 | amongst all the chaos, | 在混乱之中 |
| 240 | it's gonna be really tough for people to follow you. | 对人们来说 跟着你很难 |
| 241 | And that is why people like being around leaders | 这就是为什么人们喜欢在领导人身边 |
| 242 | because they make them feel safe. | 因为他们让他们感到安全。 |
| 243 | Now, why do they feel safe? | 为什么他们觉得安全? |
| 244 | Because they create that certainty. | 因为他们创造了这种确定性。 |
| 245 | Now, how do they create that certainty? | 现在,他们如何创造这种确定性? |
| 246 | They don't sit there and ask, | 他们不坐在那里问, |
| 247 | do I have permission to be your leader? | 我可以做你的领袖吗? |
| 248 | Do I have permission to lead you here? | 我可以带你来这里吗? |
| 249 | They just are. | 他们只是。 |
| 250 | They take control. | 他们控制了局面 |
| 251 | They take ownership. | 他们拥有所有权。 |
| 252 | They're decisive. | 他们是决定性的。 |
| 253 | And that decisiveness builds momentum, | 和决定性的建立动力, |
| 254 | whereas indecision is what breeds doubt in people. | 而不决断则使人产生怀疑。 |
| 255 | And people want to be led by somebody who acts, | 人们希望由某个人来领导 |
| 256 | not somebody who asks for permission. | 而不是要求许可的人 |
| 257 | Number four is we wanna stop avoiding hard conversations. | 第四,我们想停止 避免激烈的对话。 |
| 258 | People won't say it out loud, | 人们不会大声说出来, |
| 259 | but they are counting every single time | 他们每逢是计数的, |
| 260 | that you avoid doing the hard thing. | 以免你做难的事。 |
| 261 | It's mentally, they're checking that point, right? | 这是精神上的, 他们在检查这一点,对不对? |
| 262 | And avoidance kills respect, period. | 避免会杀死尊重,期限 |
| 263 | People won't say it to your face, | 人们不会当着你的面说 |
| 264 | but they will remember it when you avoid something. | 但他们会记得,当你避开的东西。 |
| 265 | Every time that you dodge the truth, | 每次你逃避真相的时候 |
| 266 | you lose respect. | 你失去了尊重。 。 。 |
| 267 | Every time you don't address a challenging situation, | 每次你不处理一个挑战性的情况, |
| 268 | you lose respect. | 你失去了尊重。 。 。 |
| 269 | And so executive presence means being the one | 因此,行政存在意味着一个 |
| 270 | who will say what others won't say. | 谁说别人不会说的呢? |
| 271 | I remember there was a quote from Mark Zuckerberg | 我记得有一句来自马克·扎克伯格的话 |
| 272 | that I actually really liked, | 我其实很喜欢, |
| 273 | and he said, your job as a CEO is to be a truth teller. | 他说,你作为首席执行官的工作 就是做一个说实话的人 |
| 274 | You have to tell the truth even if nobody else will. | 你一定要说真话 即使没人会 |
| 275 | I would say this is the number one thing | 我要说这是第一 |
| 276 | that I have to do on a continuous basis, | 我不得不不断这样做, |
| 277 | is have hard conversations. | 很难相处 |
| 278 | The only way I've gotten anywhere in my health, | 我健康的唯一办法 |
| 279 | my relationships, my family, my friendships, my work life, | 我的关系,我的家人,我的友谊,我的工作生活, |
| 280 | is just by having those hard conversations. | 只是通过这些艰难的对话。 |
| 281 | For example, I remember that I had a friend | 比如,我记得我有个朋友 |
| 282 | and she kept telling me | 她一直告诉我 |
| 283 | that she was having a hard time with her boyfriend. | 她和她男朋友在一起很艰难 |
| 284 | And she was saying like, oh, you know, | 她说,哦,你知道, |
| 285 | I think he's too telling me, I think he's this, | 我觉得他太告诉我了 我觉得他就是 |
| 286 | I think he's that. | 我觉得他就是那个 |
| 287 | And every time she brought it up, | 每次她提起这件事 |
| 288 | I realized that while she was bringing that up, | 我意识到 当她提起这个, |
| 289 | she wasn't addressing the fact | 她不是说事实 |
| 290 | that she was doing some nefarious things | 她做了一些邪恶的事 |
| 291 | in her relationship herself. | 在她自己的关系中。 |
| 292 | And so I said, you know what? | 所以我说,你知道吗? |
| 293 | I realized I can't be friends with somebody | 我意识到我不能和别人做朋友 |
| 294 | that should talk to somebody | 那应该和某人说话 |
| 295 | who's also not upholding their end of the bargain. | 他们也不支持他们的交易 |
| 296 | And so I addressed it to her and I said like, | 所以我寄给她 然后说 |
| 297 | I don't actually think | 我真的觉得 |
| 298 | that we can keep having these conversations | 我们可以继续谈话 |
| 299 | because you don't take any responsibility | 因为你不承担责任 |
| 300 | for where you're at in the relationship. | 是因为你们的关系 |
| 301 | And so either take the responsibility | 所以要么承担责任 |
| 302 | or don't talk to me about it. | 或者不要跟我谈这件事 |
| 303 | And I remember in that moment, | 我记得在那一刻 |
| 304 | she was like completely shocked. | 她就像完全震惊。 |
| 305 | And I was like, well, listen, | 我就像,嗯,听着, |
| 306 | if you wanna talk to me about it, | 如果你想跟我谈谈 |
| 307 | I'm gonna have an opinion about it. | 我将有一个意见。 |
| 308 | But if you don't want me to have an opinion, | 但如果你不想让我有意见 |
| 309 | then don't talk to me about it. | 那就别跟我谈了 |
| 310 | And if you want me to talk to you about it, | 如果你想我跟你谈谈 |
| 311 | then do something about the situation. | 然后对情况做点什么 |
| 312 | And I remember it was like the first time | 我记得那是第一次 |
| 313 | I broke the seal with that person specifically | 我和那个人断了封印 |
| 314 | who'd been a friend and I felt fed up with their shit. | 曾经是朋友,我受够了他们 |
| 315 | And what I realized in that moment is | 那一刻我意识到 |
| 316 | I walked away having more respect for myself. | 我离开时更尊重自己 |
| 317 | It wasn't about her and about the conversation, | 这不是关于她和谈话, |
| 318 | but it's about me feeling confident in myself, | 但我对我自己有信心 |
| 319 | having the respect for myself, | 尊重我, |
| 320 | that I'm the kind of person that does hard things | 我是那种做难事的人 |
| 321 | and addresses those things. | 并解决那些事情。 |
| 322 | So what you want to do is you want to replace avoidance | 所以,你想做的是,你想替换避避 |
| 323 | with confrontation. | 与对抗。 |
| 324 | It's not that you just want to confront people | 不是你想和别人对质 |
| 325 | and loosely call people out, act like an asshole, | 随便叫人出来 表现得像个混蛋 |
| 326 | but you want to confront them with composure. | 但你要用镇定的态度面对他们 |
| 327 | And what that means is you wanna be honest, | 意思是你想说实话 |
| 328 | because when you're honest, that builds trust. | 因为当你诚实, 建立信任。 |
| 329 | When you soften the truth, when you avoid the truth, | 当你软化真相, 当你避开真相, |
| 330 | you create confusion. | 你制造混乱。 |
| 331 | And when you name names, you become the person | 当你命名时,你就会成为 |
| 332 | to look for when you want solutions. | 当您想要解决方案时, 需要寻找。 |
| 333 | And great leaders don't avoid discomfort, | 伟大的领袖们不会避免不适, |
| 334 | they walk towards it. | 他们走向它。 |
| 335 | Number five is stop being inconsistent. | 第五点不再不一致了。 |
| 336 | You cannot be trusted to lead others | 你不能信任别人 |
| 337 | if you can't regulate yourself. | 如果你不能调节自己。 |
| 338 | If your mood dictates how you lead, | 如果你的心情决定你如何领导 |
| 339 | you're not leading, you're just reacting | 你不领导,你只是反应 |
| 340 | to your own emotions. | 让你的情绪。 |
| 341 | Executive presence is earned | 行政人员有收入 |
| 342 | through emotional predictability. | 通过情感的可预测性。 |
| 343 | For example, when I was working in a gym | 比如我在健身房工作的时候 |
| 344 | as a personal trainer, I had a boss and he would come in | 作为私人教练 我有一个老板 他会进来的 |
| 345 | and it was like, no matter what we had done, | 这就像,无论我们做了什么, |
| 346 | no matter how good we were doing, | 不管我们做得有多好 |
| 347 | no matter how happy everybody was, | 不管大家有多高兴 |
| 348 | it was like, depending on whatever happened with him at home, | 这就像,视他在家里发生的一切, |
| 349 | that was gonna rain hell on all of us that day. | 那天我们都会下地狱 |
| 350 | So he would come in and it would be like, | 所以他会进来 然后就好像 |
| 351 | what the are you doing? | 你在干吗? |
| 352 | Get the numbers up, do this. | 数起来,做这个。 |
| 353 | And I was like, oh my gosh. | 我当时想,哦,我的天哪。 |
| 354 | And it was horrible because what I realized, | 这太可怕了 因为我意识到 |
| 355 | I was like, this guy has no emotional regulation | 我当时想,这家伙没有情绪调节 |
| 356 | and he will fail at his job because of that. | 他的工作会因此失败 |
| 357 | It's interesting because I remember | 很有趣 因为我记得 |
| 358 | even if he understood how to tactically do the job, | 即使他懂得如何战术地完成任务 |
| 359 | the fact that he would walk in and his emotions | 他走进来的事实和他的情绪 |
| 360 | were what controlled how he acted that day, | 他那天的行为是怎样控制的, |
| 361 | I just had no respect for him. | 我只是对他毫无尊重 |
| 362 | And therefore I wouldn't follow him. | 所以我不会跟着他 |
| 363 | I wouldn't be led by him. | 我不会由他领导 |
| 364 | And I ended up eventually leaving the situation. | 结果我最终离开了这里 |
| 365 | So what you have to do in order to maintain | 所以你必须做什么才能维持 |
| 366 | and increase your executive presence | 并增加你的执行人员 |
| 367 | is replace inconsistency with predictability. | 以可预测性取代不一致。 |
| 368 | Consistency creates psychological safety | 一致性创造心理安全 |
| 369 | and people perform better | 和人们表现更好 |
| 370 | when they know what to expect from you. | 当他们知道该期待你什么。 |
| 371 | Emotional regulation under stress is one of the rarest | 压力下的情绪调节是最罕见的 |
| 372 | and most respected leadership traits. | 以及最受尊重的领导才能 |
| 373 | And so the higher that you climb, | 所以,越高的你攀登, |
| 374 | the more people will look to you | 越多的人会期待你 |
| 375 | before they look at the data. | 在他们看数据之前 |
| 376 | Executive presence is not about being charismatic. | 行政存在不是要具有魅力。 |
| 377 | It's about being somebody that people trust to lead. | 这是关于一个人 人们信任领导。 |
| 378 | I used to think it was about charisma | 我曾经觉得这是关于魅力 |
| 379 | and so I felt like I wasn't a good communicator | 所以我觉得自己不是一个好沟通者 |
| 380 | because I wasn't super charismatic, | 因为我不够有魅力 |
| 381 | which is probably weird to see now. | 这也许很奇怪 现在看到。 |
| 382 | So you wanna cut out the weak behaviors | 所以,你想 切出弱的行为 |
| 383 | and you wanna replace them with clarity, | 你想用清晰的语气代替他们, |
| 384 | with calmness, with conviction, | 以平静和信念, |
| 385 | and you will start to see that people will listen to you. | 你会看到人们会听你的 |
| 386 | And so at the end of the day, | 因此,在一天结束时, |
| 387 | it's much more about what you stop doing | 更多关于你停止做什么 |
| 388 | that's making you not have executive presence | 让你没有行政代理 |
| 389 | than it is about what you start doing. | 而不是你开始做的事 |
| 390 | If you want to learn more about how to be a great leader, | 如果你想多学习如何成为一个伟大的领袖, |
| 391 | you can check out my video on how kind leaders succeed | 你可以看看我的视频 如何友好的领导成功 |
| 392 | when nice bosses fail. | 当好老板失败时 |
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