提升情商的六个步骤【TED演讲】
共 2 集
剧集目录
| 集 | 标题 | 时长 |
|---|---|---|
| P1 | 提升情商的六个步骤【TED演讲】 中英双语 | 16:51 |
| P2 | 提升情商的六个步骤【TED演讲】 英文字幕(中文外挂) | 16:51 |
P1 · 提升情商的六个步骤【TED演讲】 p01 中英双语 (P1)
字幕摘录
| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| 0:02 | I want to start with doing a small survey with you. | 我想先跟你做个小调查 |
| 0:08 | For that, please put your hands into your laps and close your eyes. | 为此,请把手放在腿上,闭上眼睛。 |
| 0:21 | I will now pose a couple of questions to which I would love to have a very honest answer | 我现在将提出几个问题,我想有一个非常诚实的答案。 |
| 0:28 | just by a show of hands. | 只是举起手来 |
| 0:30 | No worries. | 别担心 |
| 0:31 | No one will judge you for it. | 没有人会评价你 |
| 0:33 | The first question is, who of you has thought within the past week about whether or not | 第一个问题是,你们谁在过去一周内考虑过 |
| 0:42 | you are an emotionally intelligent person? | 你是个有感情的人? |
| 0:49 | Now that you think of it, would you consider yourself emotionally intelligent? | 现在你想到了 你会认为自己在情感上很聪明吗? |
| 0:55 | Please raise your hand if you do so. | 请师举手. |
展开字幕全文（209 条）
| 序号 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | I want to start with doing a small survey with you. | 我想先跟你做个小调查 |
| 2 | For that, please put your hands into your laps and close your eyes. | 为此,请把手放在腿上,闭上眼睛。 |
| 3 | I will now pose a couple of questions to which I would love to have a very honest answer | 我现在将提出几个问题,我想有一个非常诚实的答案。 |
| 4 | just by a show of hands. | 只是举起手来 |
| 5 | No worries. | 别担心 |
| 6 | No one will judge you for it. | 没有人会评价你 |
| 7 | The first question is, who of you has thought within the past week about whether or not | 第一个问题是,你们谁在过去一周内考虑过 |
| 8 | you are an emotionally intelligent person? | 你是个有感情的人? |
| 9 | Now that you think of it, would you consider yourself emotionally intelligent? | 现在你想到了 你会认为自己在情感上很聪明吗? |
| 10 | Please raise your hand if you do so. | 请师举手. |
| 11 | And who of you has ever worked consciously on your emotional skill? | 你们谁有意识地工作过 你的情感技巧? |
| 12 | Thank you for sharing. | 谢谢你的分享 |
| 13 | You can now open your eyes again. | 你现在可以再睁开眼睛了 |
| 14 | And thank you also for being so very honest with me. | 也谢谢你对我这么诚实 |
| 15 | Now I also want to be honest with you. | 现在我也想跟你说实话 |
| 16 | Emotional intelligence is not necessarily my main strength. | 情感智能不一定是我的主要力量 |
| 17 | When I make decisions, I base them solely on my rationale. | 当我做决定时,我完全以我的理由为依据。 |
| 18 | If friends from school hear me do this talk right now, they will be very surprised because | 如果学校的朋友现在听到我说话 他们会很惊讶的 |
| 19 | back then I didn't even consider emotions as something crucial. | 当时我甚至不认为情感是关键 |
| 20 | They weren't logical. | 他们不合乎逻辑 |
| 21 | I couldn't explain them very well. | 我无法很好地解释 |
| 22 | So why would I care? | 我为什么要在乎? |
| 23 | I never even actively thought about the topic until five years ago when I dropped out of | 五年前我退学前 我甚至从未想过这个话题 |
| 24 | a job because of a burnout. | 一个工作,因为一个燃烧。 |
| 25 | It was then that my very emotional side was revealed. | 那时我非常情绪化的一面被揭示出来. |
| 26 | And while I rarely cried before, especially not in front of people, I just couldn't stop | 虽然我以前很少哭 特别是在人们面前,我只是无法停止 |
| 27 | the tears from streaming down my face at the most inconvenient of times anymore. | 我脸上流下的眼泪 在最不方便的时候 |
| 28 | Several times a day, I went to the restroom just to hide my suffering. | 我一天去洗手间 是为了掩饰我的痛苦 |
| 29 | And that made very clear to me that I need to work on this issue. | 这让我非常清楚地认识到,我需要在这个问题上开展工作。 |
| 30 | But now what is it, this mysterious emotional intelligence? | 但现在是什么 神秘的情感智慧 |
| 31 | When most people think of it, they stop at the term emotional. | 当大多数人想到这一点时,他们就会停止使用情感一词. |
| 32 | What do you connect to it? | 你和它有什么关系? |
| 33 | I'd say it has a bad connotation describing a person having or expressing strong feelings. | 描述一个人有或表达强烈的感情 |
| 34 | And this connotation is also then there for emotional intelligence, a misconception that | 而这种内涵也存在于情感智能中 一个误解 |
| 35 | I had as well. | 我也一样。 |
| 36 | However, it's crucial to differentiate between emotional and the value that emotional intelligence | 然而,区分情感和情感智慧的价值至关重要 |
| 37 | can have. | 当然可以 |
| 38 | Because emotional intelligence is something fundamentally different. | 因为情感智慧是根本不同的 |
| 39 | It's the ability to identify and manage your emotions and those of others. | 这是识别和管理你和别人情绪的能力. |
| 40 | And it's said to include three skills. | 并说包括三种技能. |
| 41 | First, emotional awareness. | 首先,情感意识。 |
| 42 | So empathy towards others, but also towards yourself. | 如此同情他人,但也同情你自己。 |
| 43 | Second, the ability to harness emotions and apply them to tasks like problem solving. | 其次,利用情绪的能力,并将其应用于解决问题等任务. |
| 44 | And third, the ability to manage emotions, which includes regulating your own emotions, | 第三,管理情绪的能力, 包括调节自己的情绪, |
| 45 | but also calming down or cheering up other people. | 但也平息或鼓舞别人 |
| 46 | As you can clearly see by this contrast, very emotional people do not necessarily or automatically | 正如你所清楚看到的 非常情绪化的人 不一定或自动 |
| 47 | have a high emotional intelligence. | 有着很高的情感智慧。 |
| 48 | Because they may only display their emotions freely without thinking about or knowing why | 因为他们只能自由展示他们的情绪 而不考虑或知道为什么 |
| 49 | they have them. | 他们有他们。 |
| 50 | And maybe not even considering the appropriateness of showing them in the respective situation. | 也许甚至不考虑在相应情况下展示这些照片是否合适。 |
| 51 | Now, lacking emotional intelligence as a kid or teenager meant for me that I would channel | 现在,缺乏情感智能 作为一个孩子或青少年 对我来说意味着我会引导 |
| 52 | things like loneliness or fear sometimes into aggression. | 孤独或恐惧有时会变成侵略 |
| 53 | My family background, well, let's say, is improvable. | 我的家庭背景 可以说是即兴的 |
| 54 | So instead of finding the support that I'd need, I'd rather get it on the basis of, | 因此,与其找到我所需要的支持, 我宁愿得到它的基础, |
| 55 | oh, don't be such a crybaby than anything else. | 哦,别像个哭的宝贝一样 |
| 56 | My parents didn't teach me the value of emotions. | 我父母没有教我情绪的价值. |
| 57 | Therefore, losing friends or breakups would hit me harder than many others. | 因此,失去朋友或分手会比许多其他人更难对付我。 |
| 58 | Because I could neither fully understand my emotions nor those of the others. | 因为我既不能完全理解我的情绪,也不能完全理解其他人的情绪。 |
| 59 | They just didn't make sense. | 他们只是没有道理。 |
| 60 | I thought, I'm not supposed to feel that way. | 我想,我不应该有那种感觉。 |
| 61 | Because I've never learned how to deal with emotions. | 因为我从来没有学会 如何处理情绪。 |
| 62 | And with time passing, I realized I'm just one of many people having this issue. | 随着时间的流逝,我意识到我只是 很多人中的一个有这个问题。 |
| 63 | Have you ever thought about why people judge or bully each other? | 你有没有想过为什么人们会评判或欺负对方? |
| 64 | Be it kids or at work or even in toxic friendships or relationships. | 不管是孩子还是工作 甚至是在有毒的友谊或关系中 |
| 65 | And it can be anything ranging from sexism to racism. | 从性别主义到种族主义 都有可能 |
| 66 | It's because of insecurity due to a lack of emotional intelligence, | 是因为缺乏情感智慧 导致不安全 |
| 67 | because it's hard to understand the difference between yourself and someone else. | 因为很难理解自己和别人的区别. |
| 68 | And it's even harder to connect on an emotional level to truly comprehend where someone else is coming from. | 更难在情感层面联系起来 真正理解别人来自哪里 |
| 69 | And in order to change that, we first of all need to consider emotional intelligence | 为了改变这种情况 我们首先需要考虑情绪智能 |
| 70 | as a crucial skill in our society, and then also take the time to consciously work on it. | 作为我们社会的一种关键技能,然后还要花时间有意识地进行这项工作。 |
| 71 | Currently, we do neither. | 目前,我们也没有这样做。 |
| 72 | And we also don't give our kids, for example, the space to learn the skill. | 我们也不给孩子们学习技能的空间。 |
| 73 | Kids nowadays, they are supposed to be good in school, do sports, play an instrument, | 现在的孩子,他们应该 在学校好,做运动,演奏乐器, |
| 74 | learn a foreign language, and maybe even some additional things. | 学习一种外语, 甚至一些额外的东西。 |
| 75 | They don't get the chance to get to know who they are, connect to themselves and to their emotions. | 他们没有机会去了解自己是谁,联系自己和他们的情绪. |
| 76 | And a fundamental part of being emotionally intelligent means knowing who you are. | 情感智慧的基本部分 就是知道你是谁 |
| 77 | And for them to learn, we also need to learn it ourselves to be the role model that they need. | 为了让他们学习,我们还需要自己学习成为他们所需要的榜样。 |
| 78 | Now you might be thinking, yeah, sure, but how do we approach this topic individually, | 现在,你可能会想,是的,当然, 但我们如何单独处理这个话题, |
| 79 | but also as a society? | 但作为一个社会? |
| 80 | And basically, it comes down to what everything comes down to. | 基本上,一切都会变成什么样子。 |
| 81 | We need to learn a new skill. | 我们需要学习新的技能。 |
| 82 | So when you learn a new skill, you first of all need to become aware of your incompetence in the field. | 因此,当学习新技能时,首先需要意识到自己在外地的无能. |
| 83 | So I got there with my burnout. | 所以,我得到了 与我的燃烧。 |
| 84 | I'm pretty sure that you can manage that more easily. | 我敢肯定,你可以更容易地做到这一点。 |
| 85 | And then you work on the skill until you manage it to the level that you want. | 然后,你的工作 技能,直到你管理它 达到你想要的水平。 |
| 86 | And after a while, you will even be able to apply it without actively thinking about it. | 过了一段时间,你甚至可以不用积极思考就应用它. |
| 87 | Take, for example, your driver's license. | 比如拿你的驾照 |
| 88 | After a while, you stop thinking, oh, I need to put in the next gear. | 过了一段时间,你停止思考, 哦,我需要把下一个齿轮。 |
| 89 | You just do so. | 你只要这样做。 |
| 90 | Unconscious competence achieved. | 实现了无意识的能力。 |
| 91 | Now, the trickiest thing, though, is to get from conscious incompetence to conscious competence. | 现在,最狡猾的事情,虽然, 是从意识的无能到意识的能力。 |
| 92 | And we do that by learning the basics of how a car works and by practicing. | 我们通过学习汽车的基本原理和练习来做到这一点。 |
| 93 | So in the beginning, it's maybe difficult to steer the wheel at the same time as putting in the next gear. | 因此在开始的时候,可能很难在安装下一个齿轮的同时引导轮子. |
| 94 | But after a while, it gets easier. | 但过了一段时间,它变得更容易。 |
| 95 | And with emotional intelligence, it's basically the same thing. | 并且以情感智能,基本相同. |
| 96 | So I tried to compile my experiences and came up with a six-step guide | 所以我试着整理我的经验 并想出一个六步指南 |
| 97 | that hopefully helps people to get more emotionally intelligent. | 希望这能帮助人们 获得更多的情感智慧。 |
| 98 | And the first thing that we need to do is we need to acknowledge our emotions. | 我们首先需要做的是 承认我们的情感。 |
| 99 | But not only as such, but as something valuable, because that's what they are. | 不仅如此,而且作为有价值的东西, 因为他们就是这样。 |
| 100 | 根据Antonio DiMazio的研究, 脑部部分负责的人 | |
| 101 | for emotions have been damaged found themselves even having a harder time taking rational decisions. | 因为情绪被破坏, 发现自己更难做出理性的决定。 |
| 102 | That's how valuable they are. | 这就是他们的价值。 |
| 103 | And the very first small but simple thing that you can do | 还有你能够做的第一件小而简单的事情 |
| 104 | is you can ask people with genuine interest how they are feeling. | 你可以问有真正兴趣的人 他们的感受。 |
| 105 | And when you're asked, answer with authenticity. | 当你被问到, 回答的真实性。 |
| 106 | When you feel good, but also when you feel bad. | 当你感觉好,但当你感觉不好。 |
| 107 | So no, I'm fine. | 所以,不,我没事。 |
| 108 | But also, no complaining. | 但是,没有抱怨。 |
| 109 | Instead of complaining about your colleagues say, | 而不是抱怨你的同事说, |
| 110 | I don't feel appreciated at work or whatever it comes down to. | 我不觉得在工作上或者在什么事情上都受欢迎 |
| 111 | 让它成为iMessage. | |
| 112 | And when people show emotions, tell them that it's okay to have those. | 当人们表现出情绪时,告诉他们,拥有这些可以。 |
| 113 | Talk about them. | 谈论他们。 |
| 114 | Erase the taboo that I feel exists in our society of talking about emotions, | 消除我所感受到的在社会中 谈论情感的禁忌 |
| 115 | because that's more often than not the one thing that keeps us from making the next step. | 因为这常常是阻止我们采取下一步行动的唯一办法。 |
| 116 | And the next step is differentiating and analysing emotions. | 下一步是区分和分析情绪。 |
| 117 | So sometimes when we talk about or express a feeling, | 所以有时当我们谈论或表达一种感觉时, |
| 118 | we substitute the original one with one that we think we know better or are better at handling. | 我们用我们认为我们更清楚或更擅长处理的原版代替。 |
| 119 | But there are actually a lot of different emotions and all of them have their functions. | 但实际上有很多不同的情绪,它们都有各自的功能. |
| 120 | And all of them might also need you to handle them differently. | 他们都可能需要你 以不同的方式处理他们。 |
| 121 | Therefore, it's important to get down to the core. | 因此,重要的是下到核心. |
| 122 | And then you also need to accept and appreciate all those emotions. | 然后你也需要接受和欣赏所有这些情感。 |
| 123 | Because emotions are neither good nor bad. | 因为情感既不好也不坏 |
| 124 | They just gain connotation through society. | 他们只是通过社会获得内涵。 |
| 125 | Take for example, grieving or sadness. | 举个例子,悲伤或悲伤。 |
| 126 | Why do we so desperately try to cut it out of our lives? | 为什么我们这么拼命地想把它从我们的生活中剪掉? |
| 127 | Because actually, it's just a very beautiful illustration | 因为实际上,它只是一个非常美丽的插图 |
| 128 | of the appreciation that we have for someone or something. | 我们对某人的感激之情 |
| 129 | Now, I approach all three steps by writing my emotions down in a journal just for that. | 现在,我接近所有三个步骤, 把我的情绪写在一本日记上。 |
| 130 | On a neat basis, so not necessarily daily, but sometimes only every few weeks, | 在整洁的基础上,所以不一定每天, 但有时只是每隔几个星期, |
| 131 | or maybe even only every few months. | 甚至每几个月一次 |
| 132 | Friends of mine do similar things with apps if you want to be more modern. | 我的朋友用应用做类似的事情 如果你想更现代。 |
| 133 | And then there is the next step. | 然后是下一步。 |
| 134 | Reflecting on your emotions and their origin. | 思考你的情绪和起源 |
| 135 | Because sometimes just knowing why we feel the way you do already helps us handle the feeling. | 因为有时只是知道 为什么我们感觉的方式 你已经帮助我们处理的感觉。 |
| 136 | Again, for me, covered when I write them down, | 再说一遍,我写下来时被盖住了 |
| 137 | because it gives me time to actively think about them. | 因为它给了我时间 积极思考他们。 |
| 138 | And then you get to handling your emotions. | 然后你可以处理你的情绪。 |
| 139 | Because that's what it's all about, isn't it? | 因为这就是它的全部,不是吗? |
| 140 | And as said, reflecting might already suffice. | 如前所述,反映可能已经足够了。 |
| 141 | But it might not. | 但它可能不会。 |
| 142 | And you may still need to find your way on how to handle your emotions. | 你也许还需要想办法 处理你的情绪。 |
| 143 | Because there is more than one way to skin a cat, | 因为剥猫皮不止一种方法 |
| 144 | and I can only give you a few examples of what I did. | 我只能举几个例子来说明我做了什么。 |
| 145 | And what helped me, if not handle the emotion, | 和什么帮助我,如果不处理 情绪, |
| 146 | but at least find out how to handle it, was writing it down. | 但至少知道怎么处理, 是写下来。 |
| 147 | Because it put distance between me and my emotions. | 因为它使我和我的情绪相距遥远 |
| 148 | There has even been a study conducted on the positive effects | 甚至对积极效果进行了研究。 |
| 149 | Pennebaker和Smith的情感书面表达 | |
| 150 | And they published it in their book, opening up by writing it down, | 他们把它出版在他们的书里, 打开通过写下来, |
| 151 | if you want to check it out. | 如果你想检查一下。 |
| 152 | Because that's actually another thing that I do. | 因为这是另一回事 |
| 153 | I read on the topic. | 我读过这个话题。 |
| 154 | Currently, I'm reading Language of Emotions by Carla McLaren. | 目前,我正在读卡拉·麦克拉伦的《情感的语言》。 |
| 155 | Literally any book by Brené Brown is good to go, but there are so many more. | Brené Brown写的任何一本书都不错 但还有很多 |
| 156 | And I talk to friends. | 我和朋友说话 |
| 157 | I ask them, how do you approach this situation? | 我问他们,你怎么处理这种情况? |
| 158 | How do you approach that topic or this emotion? | 你怎么处理这个话题或这种情绪? |
| 159 | And then it's more or less a trial and error principle. | 然后,它或多或少是一个试验和错误原则. |
| 160 | Sometimes it may be sports, sometimes it may be meditation. | 有时可能是运动,有时是冥想. |
| 161 | It's just important that you find your individual way. | 重要的是你找到自己的个人方法 |
| 162 | And then handling the emotions of others. | 然后处理别人的情绪。 |
| 163 | And I'd say as soon as you mastered your emotions, | 我会说,一旦你掌握你的情绪, |
| 164 | but also in the process of getting better at it, | 同时也在改善状态的过程中 |
| 165 | you will find it easier and easier to also handle the emotions of others | 你也会发现,也更容易处理别人的情绪 |
| 166 | because you have a different understanding. | 因为你有不同的理解。 |
| 167 | And understanding and awareness are the keys. | 了解和认识是关键。 |
| 168 | It gets even easier because you can simply ask the other person | 更简单了,因为你可以随便问别人 |
| 169 | how you can support them, because they might know. | 你如何支持他们,因为他们可能知道。 |
| 170 | Or you can also ask them how they can support themselves. | 或者你也可以问他们如何支撑自己。 |
| 171 | Because that way, you not only help them in the acute situation, | 因为那样,你不仅在危急的情况下帮助他们, |
| 172 | but you actually help them develop their emotional intelligence. | 但你确实帮助他们发展他们的情感智力 |
| 173 | And then when we have a few people being emotionally intelligent, | 然后当我们有几个人 情绪聪明, |
| 174 | we also need to think about how can we teach our next generation? | 我们还需要思考我们如何教育下一代? |
| 175 | And as a society, I feel the most important thing that we need to do | 作为一个社会,我觉得最重要的事情 我们需要做 |
| 176 | is implement emotional education in school. | 在学校实施情感教育。 |
| 177 | Teach children about the different emotions and their functions. | 教会孩子们不同的情感和功能. |
| 178 | Give them a space to openly talk about them | 给他们一个空间,让他们公开谈论他们 |
| 179 | so that they can acknowledge their emotions. | 让他们能承认自己的情感 |
| 180 | Help them to accept and appreciate them. | 帮助他们接受和欣赏他们. |
| 181 | To be honest, it's not that difficult. | 老实说,没那么难 |
| 182 | Most of the things that I mentioned can be easily put into practice in schools. | 我提到的多数事情可以很容易地在学校付诸实践。 |
| 183 | I mean, how many books have you read in school? | 你在学校读了多少本书? |
| 184 | Why not make some of them about emotional intelligence? | 为什么不把其中的一些 关于情感智能? |
| 185 | Or make kids work on case studies together | 或者让孩子一起研究 |
| 186 | so that they can exchange their ideas on how to approach topics. | 以便他们能够就如何处理专题交换意见。 |
| 187 | And if we're lucky, they get out of school | 如果我们走运,他们就会退学 |
| 188 | having learned this fundamental and crucial skill of emotional intelligence. | 已经学会了这种基本的和关键的 情感智能技能。 |
| 189 | Imagine the world that we would be living in. | 想象一下我们所生活的世界 |
| 190 | If every one of us was emotionally intelligent, what do you think would change? | 如果我们每个人都有情感智慧 你觉得会有什么变化? |
| 191 | Being emotionally intelligent means knowing and understanding yourself. | 感情聪明意味着了解和理解自己. |
| 192 | Thus, it helps you make better decisions. | 因此,它帮助你做出更好的决定。 |
| 193 | It would spare us from emotional suffering because we know where it comes from | 它能让我们免于感情痛苦 因为我们知道它来自何方 |
| 194 | and we know how to handle it, and maybe not even impose it upon others. | 而且我们知道如何处理它, 甚至可能不把它强加于人。 |
| 195 | It would help us deal with interpersonal relationships | 这能帮助我们处理人际关系 |
| 196 | because we also connect on a different level. | 因为我们在不同的层面上也互相连接。 |
| 197 | And interpersonal relationships are everywhere. | 而人际关系无处不在. |
| 198 | Just think about it. | 考虑一下 |
| 199 | What would it mean to have an emotionally intelligent boss? | 有个感情聪明的老板是什么意思? |
| 200 | Or what would it mean to have an emotionally intelligent parent? | 或有什么意义 有情感聪明的父母? |
| 201 | If we were all emotionally intelligent, | 如果我们都是感情上的聪明人 |
| 202 | how would we approach differences? | 我们如何处理分歧? |
| 203 | Or how would we approach topics like mental health? | 或者我们如何处理心理健康之类的话题? |
| 204 | Or how would we approach conflicts? | 或者我们如何处理冲突? |
| 205 | Just imagine the world that we would be living in. | 想象一下我们将要生活的世界 |
| 206 | A world full of mutual understanding, acceptance, tolerance, and connection. | 一个充满相互理解、接受、宽容和相互联系的世界。 |
| 207 | A truly inclusive world. | 一个真正具有包容性的世界。 |
| 208 | How awesome would that be? | 那会有多棒? |
| 209 | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
该视频共有字幕 209 条。解锁更多字幕为会员功能，请移动到 价格
P2 · 提升情商的六个步骤【TED演讲】 p02 英文字幕(中文外挂) (P2)
字幕摘录
| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| 0:02 | I want to start with doing a small survey with you. | 我想先跟你做个小调查 |
| 0:08 | For that, please put your hands into your laps and close your eyes. | 为此,请把手放在腿上,闭上眼睛。 |
| 0:21 | I will now pose a couple of questions to which I would love to have a very honest answer | 我现在将提出几个问题,我想有一个非常诚实的答案。 |
| 0:28 | just by a show of hands. | 只是举起手来 |
| 0:30 | No worries. | 别担心 |
| 0:31 | No one will judge you for it. | 没有人会评价你 |
| 0:33 | The first question is, who of you has thought within the past week about whether or not | 第一个问题是,你们谁在过去一周内考虑过 |
| 0:42 | you are an emotionally intelligent person? | 你是个有感情的人? |
| 0:49 | Now that you think of it, would you consider yourself emotionally intelligent? | 现在你想到了 你会认为自己在情感上很聪明吗? |
| 0:55 | Please raise your hand if you do so. | 请师举手. |
展开字幕全文（209 条）
| 序号 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | I want to start with doing a small survey with you. | 我想先跟你做个小调查 |
| 2 | For that, please put your hands into your laps and close your eyes. | 为此,请把手放在腿上,闭上眼睛。 |
| 3 | I will now pose a couple of questions to which I would love to have a very honest answer | 我现在将提出几个问题,我想有一个非常诚实的答案。 |
| 4 | just by a show of hands. | 只是举起手来 |
| 5 | No worries. | 别担心 |
| 6 | No one will judge you for it. | 没有人会评价你 |
| 7 | The first question is, who of you has thought within the past week about whether or not | 第一个问题是,你们谁在过去一周内考虑过 |
| 8 | you are an emotionally intelligent person? | 你是个有感情的人? |
| 9 | Now that you think of it, would you consider yourself emotionally intelligent? | 现在你想到了 你会认为自己在情感上很聪明吗? |
| 10 | Please raise your hand if you do so. | 请师举手. |
| 11 | And who of you has ever worked consciously on your emotional skill? | 你们谁有意识地工作过 你的情感技巧? |
| 12 | Thank you for sharing. | 谢谢你的分享 |
| 13 | You can now open your eyes again. | 你现在可以再睁开眼睛了 |
| 14 | And thank you also for being so very honest with me. | 也谢谢你对我这么诚实 |
| 15 | Now I also want to be honest with you. | 现在我也想跟你说实话 |
| 16 | Emotional intelligence is not necessarily my main strength. | 情感智能不一定是我的主要力量 |
| 17 | When I make decisions, I base them solely on my rationale. | 当我做决定时,我完全以我的理由为依据。 |
| 18 | If friends from school hear me do this talk right now, they will be very surprised because | 如果学校的朋友现在听到我说话 他们会很惊讶的 |
| 19 | back then I didn't even consider emotions as something crucial. | 当时我甚至不认为情感是关键 |
| 20 | They weren't logical. | 他们不合乎逻辑 |
| 21 | I couldn't explain them very well. | 我无法很好地解释 |
| 22 | So why would I care? | 我为什么要在乎? |
| 23 | I never even actively thought about the topic until five years ago when I dropped out of | 五年前我退学前 我甚至从未想过这个话题 |
| 24 | a job because of a burnout. | 一个工作,因为一个燃烧。 |
| 25 | It was then that my very emotional side was revealed. | 那时我非常情绪化的一面被揭示出来. |
| 26 | And while I rarely cried before, especially not in front of people, I just couldn't stop | 虽然我以前很少哭 特别是在人们面前,我只是无法停止 |
| 27 | the tears from streaming down my face at the most inconvenient of times anymore. | 我脸上流下的眼泪 在最不方便的时候 |
| 28 | Several times a day, I went to the restroom just to hide my suffering. | 我一天去洗手间 是为了掩饰我的痛苦 |
| 29 | And that made very clear to me that I need to work on this issue. | 这让我非常清楚地认识到,我需要在这个问题上开展工作。 |
| 30 | But now what is it, this mysterious emotional intelligence? | 但现在是什么 神秘的情感智慧 |
| 31 | When most people think of it, they stop at the term emotional. | 当大多数人想到这一点时,他们就会停止使用情感一词. |
| 32 | What do you connect to it? | 你和它有什么关系? |
| 33 | I'd say it has a bad connotation describing a person having or expressing strong feelings. | 描述一个人有或表达强烈的感情 |
| 34 | And this connotation is also then there for emotional intelligence, a misconception that | 而这种内涵也存在于情感智能中 一个误解 |
| 35 | I had as well. | 我也一样。 |
| 36 | However, it's crucial to differentiate between emotional and the value that emotional intelligence | 然而,区分情感和情感智慧的价值至关重要 |
| 37 | can have. | 当然可以 |
| 38 | Because emotional intelligence is something fundamentally different. | 因为情感智慧是根本不同的 |
| 39 | It's the ability to identify and manage your emotions and those of others. | 这是识别和管理你和别人情绪的能力. |
| 40 | And it's said to include three skills. | 并说包括三种技能. |
| 41 | First, emotional awareness. | 首先,情感意识。 |
| 42 | So empathy towards others, but also towards yourself. | 如此同情他人,但也同情你自己。 |
| 43 | Second, the ability to harness emotions and apply them to tasks like problem solving. | 其次,利用情绪的能力,并将其应用于解决问题等任务. |
| 44 | And third, the ability to manage emotions, which includes regulating your own emotions, | 第三,管理情绪的能力, 包括调节自己的情绪, |
| 45 | but also calming down or cheering up other people. | 但也平息或鼓舞别人 |
| 46 | As you can clearly see by this contrast, very emotional people do not necessarily or automatically | 正如你所清楚看到的 非常情绪化的人 不一定或自动 |
| 47 | have a high emotional intelligence. | 有着很高的情感智慧。 |
| 48 | Because they may only display their emotions freely without thinking about or knowing why | 因为他们只能自由展示他们的情绪 而不考虑或知道为什么 |
| 49 | they have them. | 他们有他们。 |
| 50 | And maybe not even considering the appropriateness of showing them in the respective situation. | 也许甚至不考虑在相应情况下展示这些照片是否合适。 |
| 51 | Now, lacking emotional intelligence as a kid or teenager meant for me that I would channel | 现在,缺乏情感智能 作为一个孩子或青少年 对我来说意味着我会引导 |
| 52 | things like loneliness or fear sometimes into aggression. | 孤独或恐惧有时会变成侵略 |
| 53 | My family background, well, let's say, is improvable. | 我的家庭背景 可以说是即兴的 |
| 54 | So instead of finding the support that I'd need, I'd rather get it on the basis of, | 因此,与其找到我所需要的支持, 我宁愿得到它的基础, |
| 55 | oh, don't be such a crybaby than anything else. | 哦,别像个哭的宝贝一样 |
| 56 | My parents didn't teach me the value of emotions. | 我父母没有教我情绪的价值. |
| 57 | Therefore, losing friends or breakups would hit me harder than many others. | 因此,失去朋友或分手会比许多其他人更难对付我。 |
| 58 | Because I could neither fully understand my emotions nor those of the others. | 因为我既不能完全理解我的情绪,也不能完全理解其他人的情绪。 |
| 59 | They just didn't make sense. | 他们只是没有道理。 |
| 60 | I thought, I'm not supposed to feel that way. | 我想,我不应该有那种感觉。 |
| 61 | Because I've never learned how to deal with emotions. | 因为我从来没有学会 如何处理情绪。 |
| 62 | And with time passing, I realized I'm just one of many people having this issue. | 随着时间的流逝,我意识到我只是 很多人中的一个有这个问题。 |
| 63 | Have you ever thought about why people judge or bully each other? | 你有没有想过为什么人们会评判或欺负对方? |
| 64 | Be it kids or at work or even in toxic friendships or relationships. | 不管是孩子还是工作 甚至是在有毒的友谊或关系中 |
| 65 | And it can be anything ranging from sexism to racism. | 从性别主义到种族主义 都有可能 |
| 66 | It's because of insecurity due to a lack of emotional intelligence, | 是因为缺乏情感智慧 导致不安全 |
| 67 | because it's hard to understand the difference between yourself and someone else. | 因为很难理解自己和别人的区别. |
| 68 | And it's even harder to connect on an emotional level to truly comprehend where someone else is coming from. | 更难在情感层面联系起来 真正理解别人来自哪里 |
| 69 | And in order to change that, we first of all need to consider emotional intelligence | 为了改变这种情况 我们首先需要考虑情绪智能 |
| 70 | as a crucial skill in our society, and then also take the time to consciously work on it. | 作为我们社会的一种关键技能,然后还要花时间有意识地进行这项工作。 |
| 71 | Currently, we do neither. | 目前,我们也没有这样做。 |
| 72 | And we also don't give our kids, for example, the space to learn the skill. | 我们也不给孩子们学习技能的空间。 |
| 73 | Kids nowadays, they are supposed to be good in school, do sports, play an instrument, | 现在的孩子,他们应该 在学校好,做运动,演奏乐器, |
| 74 | learn a foreign language, and maybe even some additional things. | 学习一种外语, 甚至一些额外的东西。 |
| 75 | They don't get the chance to get to know who they are, connect to themselves and to their emotions. | 他们没有机会去了解自己是谁,联系自己和他们的情绪. |
| 76 | And a fundamental part of being emotionally intelligent means knowing who you are. | 情感智慧的基本部分 就是知道你是谁 |
| 77 | And for them to learn, we also need to learn it ourselves to be the role model that they need. | 为了让他们学习,我们还需要自己学习成为他们所需要的榜样。 |
| 78 | Now you might be thinking, yeah, sure, but how do we approach this topic individually, | 现在,你可能会想,是的,当然, 但我们如何单独处理这个话题, |
| 79 | but also as a society? | 但作为一个社会? |
| 80 | And basically, it comes down to what everything comes down to. | 基本上,一切都会变成什么样子。 |
| 81 | We need to learn a new skill. | 我们需要学习新的技能。 |
| 82 | So when you learn a new skill, you first of all need to become aware of your incompetence in the field. | 因此,当学习新技能时,首先需要意识到自己在外地的无能. |
| 83 | So I got there with my burnout. | 所以,我得到了 与我的燃烧。 |
| 84 | I'm pretty sure that you can manage that more easily. | 我敢肯定,你可以更容易地做到这一点。 |
| 85 | And then you work on the skill until you manage it to the level that you want. | 然后,你的工作 技能,直到你管理它 达到你想要的水平。 |
| 86 | And after a while, you will even be able to apply it without actively thinking about it. | 过了一段时间,你甚至可以不用积极思考就应用它. |
| 87 | Take, for example, your driver's license. | 比如拿你的驾照 |
| 88 | After a while, you stop thinking, oh, I need to put in the next gear. | 过了一段时间,你停止思考, 哦,我需要把下一个齿轮。 |
| 89 | You just do so. | 你只要这样做。 |
| 90 | Unconscious competence achieved. | 实现了无意识的能力。 |
| 91 | Now, the trickiest thing, though, is to get from conscious incompetence to conscious competence. | 现在,最狡猾的事情,虽然, 是从意识的无能到意识的能力。 |
| 92 | And we do that by learning the basics of how a car works and by practicing. | 我们通过学习汽车的基本原理和练习来做到这一点。 |
| 93 | So in the beginning, it's maybe difficult to steer the wheel at the same time as putting in the next gear. | 因此在开始的时候,可能很难在安装下一个齿轮的同时引导轮子. |
| 94 | But after a while, it gets easier. | 但过了一段时间,它变得更容易。 |
| 95 | And with emotional intelligence, it's basically the same thing. | 并且以情感智能,基本相同. |
| 96 | So I tried to compile my experiences and came up with a six-step guide | 所以我试着整理我的经验 并想出一个六步指南 |
| 97 | that hopefully helps people to get more emotionally intelligent. | 希望这能帮助人们 获得更多的情感智慧。 |
| 98 | And the first thing that we need to do is we need to acknowledge our emotions. | 我们首先需要做的是 承认我们的情感。 |
| 99 | But not only as such, but as something valuable, because that's what they are. | 不仅如此,而且作为有价值的东西, 因为他们就是这样。 |
| 100 | 根据Antonio DiMazio的研究, 脑部部分负责的人 | |
| 101 | for emotions have been damaged found themselves even having a harder time taking rational decisions. | 因为情绪被破坏, 发现自己更难做出理性的决定。 |
| 102 | That's how valuable they are. | 这就是他们的价值。 |
| 103 | And the very first small but simple thing that you can do | 还有你能够做的第一件小而简单的事情 |
| 104 | is you can ask people with genuine interest how they are feeling. | 你可以问有真正兴趣的人 他们的感受。 |
| 105 | And when you're asked, answer with authenticity. | 当你被问到, 回答的真实性。 |
| 106 | When you feel good, but also when you feel bad. | 当你感觉好,但当你感觉不好。 |
| 107 | So no, I'm fine. | 所以,不,我没事。 |
| 108 | But also, no complaining. | 但是,没有抱怨。 |
| 109 | Instead of complaining about your colleagues say, | 而不是抱怨你的同事说, |
| 110 | I don't feel appreciated at work or whatever it comes down to. | 我不觉得在工作上或者在什么事情上都受欢迎 |
| 111 | 让它成为iMessage. | |
| 112 | And when people show emotions, tell them that it's okay to have those. | 当人们表现出情绪时,告诉他们,拥有这些可以。 |
| 113 | Talk about them. | 谈论他们。 |
| 114 | Erase the taboo that I feel exists in our society of talking about emotions, | 消除我所感受到的在社会中 谈论情感的禁忌 |
| 115 | because that's more often than not the one thing that keeps us from making the next step. | 因为这常常是阻止我们采取下一步行动的唯一办法。 |
| 116 | And the next step is differentiating and analysing emotions. | 下一步是区分和分析情绪。 |
| 117 | So sometimes when we talk about or express a feeling, | 所以有时当我们谈论或表达一种感觉时, |
| 118 | we substitute the original one with one that we think we know better or are better at handling. | 我们用我们认为我们更清楚或更擅长处理的原版代替。 |
| 119 | But there are actually a lot of different emotions and all of them have their functions. | 但实际上有很多不同的情绪,它们都有各自的功能. |
| 120 | And all of them might also need you to handle them differently. | 他们都可能需要你 以不同的方式处理他们。 |
| 121 | Therefore, it's important to get down to the core. | 因此,重要的是下到核心. |
| 122 | And then you also need to accept and appreciate all those emotions. | 然后你也需要接受和欣赏所有这些情感。 |
| 123 | Because emotions are neither good nor bad. | 因为情感既不好也不坏 |
| 124 | They just gain connotation through society. | 他们只是通过社会获得内涵。 |
| 125 | Take for example, grieving or sadness. | 举个例子,悲伤或悲伤。 |
| 126 | Why do we so desperately try to cut it out of our lives? | 为什么我们这么拼命地想把它从我们的生活中剪掉? |
| 127 | Because actually, it's just a very beautiful illustration | 因为实际上,它只是一个非常美丽的插图 |
| 128 | of the appreciation that we have for someone or something. | 我们对某人的感激之情 |
| 129 | Now, I approach all three steps by writing my emotions down in a journal just for that. | 现在,我接近所有三个步骤, 把我的情绪写在一本日记上。 |
| 130 | On a neat basis, so not necessarily daily, but sometimes only every few weeks, | 在整洁的基础上,所以不一定每天, 但有时只是每隔几个星期, |
| 131 | or maybe even only every few months. | 甚至每几个月一次 |
| 132 | Friends of mine do similar things with apps if you want to be more modern. | 我的朋友用应用做类似的事情 如果你想更现代。 |
| 133 | And then there is the next step. | 然后是下一步。 |
| 134 | Reflecting on your emotions and their origin. | 思考你的情绪和起源 |
| 135 | Because sometimes just knowing why we feel the way you do already helps us handle the feeling. | 因为有时只是知道 为什么我们感觉的方式 你已经帮助我们处理的感觉。 |
| 136 | Again, for me, covered when I write them down, | 再说一遍,我写下来时被盖住了 |
| 137 | because it gives me time to actively think about them. | 因为它给了我时间 积极思考他们。 |
| 138 | And then you get to handling your emotions. | 然后你可以处理你的情绪。 |
| 139 | Because that's what it's all about, isn't it? | 因为这就是它的全部,不是吗? |
| 140 | And as said, reflecting might already suffice. | 如前所述,反映可能已经足够了。 |
| 141 | But it might not. | 但它可能不会。 |
| 142 | And you may still need to find your way on how to handle your emotions. | 你也许还需要想办法 处理你的情绪。 |
| 143 | Because there is more than one way to skin a cat, | 因为剥猫皮不止一种方法 |
| 144 | and I can only give you a few examples of what I did. | 我只能举几个例子来说明我做了什么。 |
| 145 | And what helped me, if not handle the emotion, | 和什么帮助我,如果不处理 情绪, |
| 146 | but at least find out how to handle it, was writing it down. | 但至少知道怎么处理, 是写下来。 |
| 147 | Because it put distance between me and my emotions. | 因为它使我和我的情绪相距遥远 |
| 148 | There has even been a study conducted on the positive effects | 甚至对积极效果进行了研究。 |
| 149 | Pennebaker和Smith的情感书面表达 | |
| 150 | And they published it in their book, opening up by writing it down, | 他们把它出版在他们的书里, 打开通过写下来, |
| 151 | if you want to check it out. | 如果你想检查一下。 |
| 152 | Because that's actually another thing that I do. | 因为这是另一回事 |
| 153 | I read on the topic. | 我读过这个话题。 |
| 154 | Currently, I'm reading Language of Emotions by Carla McLaren. | 目前,我正在读卡拉·麦克拉伦的《情感的语言》。 |
| 155 | Literally any book by Brené Brown is good to go, but there are so many more. | Brené Brown写的任何一本书都不错 但还有很多 |
| 156 | And I talk to friends. | 我和朋友说话 |
| 157 | I ask them, how do you approach this situation? | 我问他们,你怎么处理这种情况? |
| 158 | How do you approach that topic or this emotion? | 你怎么处理这个话题或这种情绪? |
| 159 | And then it's more or less a trial and error principle. | 然后,它或多或少是一个试验和错误原则. |
| 160 | Sometimes it may be sports, sometimes it may be meditation. | 有时可能是运动,有时是冥想. |
| 161 | It's just important that you find your individual way. | 重要的是你找到自己的个人方法 |
| 162 | And then handling the emotions of others. | 然后处理别人的情绪。 |
| 163 | And I'd say as soon as you mastered your emotions, | 我会说,一旦你掌握你的情绪, |
| 164 | but also in the process of getting better at it, | 同时也在改善状态的过程中 |
| 165 | you will find it easier and easier to also handle the emotions of others | 你也会发现,也更容易处理别人的情绪 |
| 166 | because you have a different understanding. | 因为你有不同的理解。 |
| 167 | And understanding and awareness are the keys. | 了解和认识是关键。 |
| 168 | It gets even easier because you can simply ask the other person | 更简单了,因为你可以随便问别人 |
| 169 | how you can support them, because they might know. | 你如何支持他们,因为他们可能知道。 |
| 170 | Or you can also ask them how they can support themselves. | 或者你也可以问他们如何支撑自己。 |
| 171 | Because that way, you not only help them in the acute situation, | 因为那样,你不仅在危急的情况下帮助他们, |
| 172 | but you actually help them develop their emotional intelligence. | 但你确实帮助他们发展他们的情感智力 |
| 173 | And then when we have a few people being emotionally intelligent, | 然后当我们有几个人 情绪聪明, |
| 174 | we also need to think about how can we teach our next generation? | 我们还需要思考我们如何教育下一代? |
| 175 | And as a society, I feel the most important thing that we need to do | 作为一个社会,我觉得最重要的事情 我们需要做 |
| 176 | is implement emotional education in school. | 在学校实施情感教育。 |
| 177 | Teach children about the different emotions and their functions. | 教会孩子们不同的情感和功能. |
| 178 | Give them a space to openly talk about them | 给他们一个空间,让他们公开谈论他们 |
| 179 | so that they can acknowledge their emotions. | 让他们能承认自己的情感 |
| 180 | Help them to accept and appreciate them. | 帮助他们接受和欣赏他们. |
| 181 | To be honest, it's not that difficult. | 老实说,没那么难 |
| 182 | Most of the things that I mentioned can be easily put into practice in schools. | 我提到的多数事情可以很容易地在学校付诸实践。 |
| 183 | I mean, how many books have you read in school? | 你在学校读了多少本书? |
| 184 | Why not make some of them about emotional intelligence? | 为什么不把其中的一些 关于情感智能? |
| 185 | Or make kids work on case studies together | 或者让孩子一起研究 |
| 186 | so that they can exchange their ideas on how to approach topics. | 以便他们能够就如何处理专题交换意见。 |
| 187 | And if we're lucky, they get out of school | 如果我们走运,他们就会退学 |
| 188 | having learned this fundamental and crucial skill of emotional intelligence. | 已经学会了这种基本的和关键的 情感智能技能。 |
| 189 | Imagine the world that we would be living in. | 想象一下我们所生活的世界 |
| 190 | If every one of us was emotionally intelligent, what do you think would change? | 如果我们每个人都有情感智慧 你觉得会有什么变化? |
| 191 | Being emotionally intelligent means knowing and understanding yourself. | 感情聪明意味着了解和理解自己. |
| 192 | Thus, it helps you make better decisions. | 因此,它帮助你做出更好的决定。 |
| 193 | It would spare us from emotional suffering because we know where it comes from | 它能让我们免于感情痛苦 因为我们知道它来自何方 |
| 194 | and we know how to handle it, and maybe not even impose it upon others. | 而且我们知道如何处理它, 甚至可能不把它强加于人。 |
| 195 | It would help us deal with interpersonal relationships | 这能帮助我们处理人际关系 |
| 196 | because we also connect on a different level. | 因为我们在不同的层面上也互相连接。 |
| 197 | And interpersonal relationships are everywhere. | 而人际关系无处不在. |
| 198 | Just think about it. | 考虑一下 |
| 199 | What would it mean to have an emotionally intelligent boss? | 有个感情聪明的老板是什么意思? |
| 200 | Or what would it mean to have an emotionally intelligent parent? | 或有什么意义 有情感聪明的父母? |
| 201 | If we were all emotionally intelligent, | 如果我们都是感情上的聪明人 |
| 202 | how would we approach differences? | 我们如何处理分歧? |
| 203 | Or how would we approach topics like mental health? | 或者我们如何处理心理健康之类的话题? |
| 204 | Or how would we approach conflicts? | 或者我们如何处理冲突? |
| 205 | Just imagine the world that we would be living in. | 想象一下我们将要生活的世界 |
| 206 | A world full of mutual understanding, acceptance, tolerance, and connection. | 一个充满相互理解、接受、宽容和相互联系的世界。 |
| 207 | A truly inclusive world. | 一个真正具有包容性的世界。 |
| 208 | How awesome would that be? | 那会有多棒? |
| 209 | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
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