好的性爱不在于你懂多少技巧【TED演讲】
共 2 集
剧集目录
| 集 | 标题 | 时长 |
|---|---|---|
| P1 | 好的性爱不在于你懂多少技巧【TED演讲】 中英双语 | 10:50 |
| P2 | 好的性爱不在于你懂多少技巧【TED演讲】 英文字幕(中文外挂 | 10:50 |
P1 · 好的性爱不在于你懂多少技巧【TED演讲】 p01 中英双语 (P1)
字幕摘录
| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| 0:00 | I am afraid that we have turned our back on what sex has to give us. | 恐怕我们放弃了性能给我们带来什么 |
| 0:05 | I am afraid that sex is becoming an endangered species. | 恐怕性爱正在成为濒危物种。 |
| 0:12 | Isn't she there yet? | 她还没到吗? |
| 0:13 | I'm just not there yet. | 我只是还没有到那里。 |
| 0:15 | Can he see I'm not there yet? | 他看到我还没到吗? |
| 0:17 | I wonder if this feels good. | 不知道这感觉是不是很好 |
| 0:19 | This really doesn't feel good, but he seems to be into it. | 这真的不觉得好, 但他似乎喜欢它。 |
| 0:22 | Just keep going. | 继续走 |
| 0:24 | Hold your breath, focus, think about the laundry. | 屏息,专注,考虑洗衣服. |
| 0:27 | Whatever you do, just don't come on. | 不管你做什么,只是不要来。 |
展开字幕全文（180 条）
| 序号 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | I am afraid that we have turned our back on what sex has to give us. | 恐怕我们放弃了性能给我们带来什么 |
| 2 | I am afraid that sex is becoming an endangered species. | 恐怕性爱正在成为濒危物种。 |
| 3 | Isn't she there yet? | 她还没到吗? |
| 4 | I'm just not there yet. | 我只是还没有到那里。 |
| 5 | Can he see I'm not there yet? | 他看到我还没到吗? |
| 6 | I wonder if this feels good. | 不知道这感觉是不是很好 |
| 7 | This really doesn't feel good, but he seems to be into it. | 这真的不觉得好, 但他似乎喜欢它。 |
| 8 | Just keep going. | 继续走 |
| 9 | Hold your breath, focus, think about the laundry. | 屏息,专注,考虑洗衣服. |
| 10 | Whatever you do, just don't come on. | 不管你做什么,只是不要来。 |
| 11 | Don't be a prude, just go for it. | 别装傻了,你去吧 |
| 12 | Stop acting like such a slut. | 别像个荡妇 |
| 13 | Stop feeling so much. | 别太激动了 |
| 14 | Act like you're feeling something else. | 装作你有别的感觉 |
| 15 | Just stop feeling. | 停止感觉。 |
| 16 | Roll over and pretend you're tired. | 翻过来假装你累了 |
| 17 | But it's been months. | 但已经几个月了 |
| 18 | I miss you. | и稱 |
| 19 | I thought they were into me. | 我以为他们喜欢我 |
| 20 | I am so into her. | 我很喜欢她。 |
| 21 | What is happening with my body? | 我的身体怎么样了? |
| 22 | I create conversations about sex for a living. | 我创造关于性生活的对话。 |
| 23 | I hear stories about people's sex lives, | 我听到关于人们性生活的故事, |
| 24 | and I've had the honor of hearing them tell me all kinds of things | 我有幸听到他们告诉我各种各样的事情 |
| 25 | that they've never shared with anyone. | 他们从来没有与任何人分享。 |
| 26 | I hear from teenagers and adults, | 我从青少年和成年人那里听说 |
| 27 | people who are married, single, celibate, divorced, | 已婚、单身、单身、离异、 |
| 28 | people who love sex, people who are afraid of sex, | 喜欢性的人, 害怕性的人, |
| 29 | people who've never had sex. | 从来没有做过性爱的人 |
| 30 | What you just heard are some of the voices that follow us to bed. | 你刚才听到的是 跟着我们睡觉的一些声音 |
| 31 | I'm here today to offer us a new story about sex. | 我今天来这里是为了给我们介绍一个关于性的新故事. |
| 32 | But in order to do that, I want to start by helping us see the story | 但是为了做到这一点,我想从帮助我们看故事开始 |
| 33 | that we're already living inside of | 我们已经生活在其中 |
| 34 | and how that has set us up to fail at sex. | 和它是如何让我们失败 在性。 |
| 35 | We live in a super confusing sexual culture. | 我们生活在一个超级混乱的性文化中。 |
| 36 | On one side is pressure. | 一边是压力 |
| 37 | Locker room talk, pornography, magazine covers, Hollywood imaging, | 洛克的房间谈话,色情,杂志封面,好莱坞的影像, |
| 38 | giving us a totally unrealistic and over-sexualized version of what sex is, | 给我们一个完全不现实和过度性化的版本 性是什么, |
| 39 | telling us what sex and sexy is supposed to look, act, | 告诉我们什么是性与性感 应该是看起来,行动, |
| 40 | sound like, and feel like. | 听起来像,感觉像。 |
| 41 | And on the other side of the equation is silence. | 而彼方中即是寂灭. |
| 42 | Silence, repression, and shame. | 沉默、镇压和羞耻 |
| 43 | We get messages like, don't let anyone find out, | 我们得到的信息像, 不要让任何人发现, |
| 44 | don't talk about it, don't ask questions, don't be curious. | 别谈,别问,不要好奇. |
| 45 | Essentially, sex is still taboo and forbidden territory. | 基本上,性仍然是禁忌和禁区。 |
| 46 | These stories have hijacked our bodies and our beds, | 这些故事劫持了我们的尸体和床 |
| 47 | and they operate in the background | 并在背景中运作 |
| 48 | dictating what actually happens in our sexual exchanges | 描述我们性交易中发生的事 |
| 49 | and what doesn't happen. | 和没有发生的事情。 |
| 50 | We are simultaneously, without realizing it, | 我们同时,没有意识到, |
| 51 | being bounced off the walls between pornography and puritanism. | 被从色情和清教徒之间的墙壁上反弹。 |
| 52 | No wonder sex is complicated, and it's not our fault. | 难怪性很复杂 这不是我们的错 |
| 53 | How many of us have ever faked an orgasm, | 我们当中有多少人曾经假装过高潮 |
| 54 | endured physical discomfort, thought about the grocery list, | 忍受身体不适 想到杂货单 |
| 55 | ignored our partner in pursuit of our own pleasure, | 无视我们的伙伴 追求自己的快乐, |
| 56 | gotten bored, | 变得无聊了 |
| 57 | wondered whether our partner was enjoying things but never stopped to ask, | 想知道我们的搭档是否在享受生活 但从未停止过问 |
| 58 | pushed down rising emotion, played it cool, | 推下来的情绪上升, 发挥它凉爽, |
| 59 | felt ashamed for what our bodies were or were not doing, | 对于我们的身体所做的事感到羞愧, |
| 60 | felt violated even though we said yes, | 尽管我们答应了,但还是觉得被侵犯 |
| 61 | needed a drink just to go there? | 要喝一杯吗? |
| 62 | I think we can all relate to at least some of these. | 我认为,我们至少可以讨论其中一些问题。 |
| 63 | This has become our cultural norm. | 这已成为我们的文化规范。 |
| 64 | We have come to approach sex like we would a job, | 我们来接近性 喜欢我们的工作, |
| 65 | a sport, or a math equation. | 运动,或数学方程式。 |
| 66 | We try to figure it out, get it right, | 我们试着想出办法 |
| 67 | go through the motions, do our duty, play a good game, | 完成我们的职责 玩个好游戏 |
| 68 | make it to the finish line, and fake it. | 到终点线上,然后假装它。 |
| 69 | And when we do that, it hurts. | 而当我们这样做,它伤害。 |
| 70 | Whether we are 16 or 65, | 不管我们是16岁还是65岁 |
| 71 | and the reality is that whether we're with a new lover or 65, | 而现实是,无论我们和一个新情人 还是65, |
| 72 | don't tell the truth, and we don't trust ourselves. | 别说实话,我们不相信自己 |
| 73 | What we do instead is put our game faces on. | 我们要做的就是把游戏的面孔戴上。 |
| 74 | We act like we are performers in someone else's script. | 我们表现得好像在别人的剧本里表演 |
| 75 | We demand our bodies to look and act the part. | 我们要求我们的身体注意并发挥这一作用。 |
| 76 | We pretend we're feeling things that we're not. | 我们假装感觉我们不是 |
| 77 | We ignore emotions and things that we want to say. | 我们忽略了情感和我们想说的话。 |
| 78 | We ignore our instincts, | 我们无视我们的直觉, |
| 79 | all in the name of what we think sex is supposed to be. | 所有的名义,我们认为 性应该是。 |
| 80 | It's true that we're missing something in sex, | 我们真的错过了性爱 |
| 81 | but it's not what we think it is. | 但不是我们所想的那样 |
| 82 | What we're missing is ourselves. | 我们缺少的是自己。 |
| 83 | What's happened is that we have begun to look outside of ourselves | 发生的事是,我们开始 寻找我们自己之外 |
| 84 | and look to the world to tell us what sex is. | 并期待着世界告诉我们什么是性。 |
| 85 | We've begun to just believe a bunch of false sexual stories, | 我们开始相信一堆虚假的性故事 |
| 86 | and instead of turning around and calling their bluff, | 而不是转过身去叫他们虚张声势 |
| 87 | we walk around thinking there's something wrong with us, | 我们到处走 以为我们有问题, |
| 88 | taking it personally, wondering what we're missing, | 以个人名义 想知道我们错过了什么 |
| 89 | and thinking we don't measure up. | 以为我们不衡量。 |
| 90 | Nothing could be further from the truth. | 没有什么比事实更进一步了。 |
| 91 | We have put ourselves and sex in a box that is simply way too small, | 我们把自己和性生活 放在一个太小的盒子里 |
| 92 | and like anything that gets put in a cage, it and we want to be free. | 喜欢任何被关进笼子里的东西 我们想要自由 |
| 93 | As a wide-open horizon and landscape of possibility, | 作为一个广阔的视野 和可能的地貌, |
| 94 | it has its palm out, waiting to catch us, | 它有它的掌,等待我们, |
| 95 | waiting to show us parts of ourselves we've never seen before. | 等着向我们展示我们从未见过的部分 |
| 96 | It is an adventure. | 这是一个冒险。 |
| 97 | It is a hidden landscape. | 这是一个隐藏的景观。 |
| 98 | It is an open horizon that is waiting for us every single time, | 这是一个开阔的地平线,每一次都在等待我们, |
| 99 | an unwritten-upon canvas | 一张没有写好的画布 |
| 100 | that depends entirely on us being ourselves. | 这完全取决于我们自己。 |
| 101 | What if we could come to sex and be more like ourselves in sex | 狦иㄓ┦ㄆ ┦ㄆ钩и |
| 102 | than we could anywhere else in the world? | 比我们能在世界上任何地方都好? |
| 103 | What if it was a place we came to be known, to come alive? | 如果这是我们已知的地方 活着来呢? |
| 104 | And I mean this whether we're talking about a one-night stand | 我的意思是,不管我们说的是一夜情 |
| 105 | or the 10th or 20th year of a marriage, | 或结婚的第10年或第20年, |
| 106 | because sex is not about knowing what we're doing. | 因为性不是要知道我们在做什么 |
| 107 | It is about knowing what we're feeling and learning to trust that. | 而是了解我们的感受 并学会相信这一点 |
| 108 | So how do we get here? | 那我们怎么到这儿? |
| 109 | We start by trusting three things. | 我们从相信三件事开始 |
| 110 | The reality of our bodies, the role of our emotions, | 我们身体的现实 情感的作用 |
| 111 | and the wisdom of our pleasure. | 和智慧,我们的快乐。 |
| 112 | Our sexual bodies are so much bigger than we give them credit for. | 我们的性躯体比我们给的功劳大得多 |
| 113 | We, all of us, this entire body, this is our sexual landscape. | 我们,我们所有人,整个身体, 这是我们的性景观。 |
| 114 | And we often rush past it as if sex was only about the genitals. | 我们经常匆忙通过它 仿佛性只是关于生殖器。 |
| 115 | And when we get to the genitals, we have all kinds of ideas | 当我们到达生殖器, 我们有各种各样的想法 |
| 116 | about what they should and shouldn't be doing and feeling. | 他们应该做什么 不应该做什么 和感觉。 |
| 117 | What would happen if we let our bodies really be | 如果我们真的让我们的身体 |
| 118 | as they actually were in any given moment in sex? | 因为他们在性生活的任何时刻? |
| 119 | That we didn't demand ourselves to feel pleasure where there wasn't, | 我们并没有要求自己 感到快乐的地方没有, |
| 120 | we didn't try to feel hard or soft or more of anything, | 我们没有尝试 感觉硬或软 或更多的任何东西, |
| 121 | but we opened up our definition of sex | 但我们打开了性的定义 |
| 122 | to include everything that was actually happening. | 包括实际发生的一切。 |
| 123 | Our hearts and our bodies are intimately connected. | 我们的心和身体紧密相连。 |
| 124 | Somehow, we've come up with the idea | 不知怎的,我们想出了这个主意 |
| 125 | that sex and emotion don't belong in the same room together, | 性与情感不属于同一个房间, |
| 126 | and when they end up there, there's a problem. | 而当他们最终在那里, 有一个问题。 |
| 127 | Our emotions are incredible messengers and textures | 我们的情感是不可思议的使者和纹理 |
| 128 | that rise up to give us information, to guide us, | 给我们信息 指引我们 |
| 129 | to tell us what we're longing for, | 告诉我们我们渴望什么 |
| 130 | to tell us what we need, what we want to give and receive. | 告诉我们我们需要什么 想要得到什么 想要得到什么 |
| 131 | They are a part of our sexual experience. | 他们是我们性经历的一部分。 |
| 132 | And if we hold back our emotions, our bodies will hold back pleasure. | 如果我们阻止我们的情绪, 我们的身体会阻止快乐。 |
| 133 | And our capacity for connection. | 还有我们的连接能力 |
| 134 | We have a very narrow definition of what sex, pleasure and orgasm actually is. | 我们对什么是性、快乐和高潮有一个非常狭义的定义。 |
| 135 | We usually spend our time in sex thinking orgasm | 我们通常在性爱中花时间思考性高潮 |
| 136 | is this destination and singular event | 是这个目的地和单数事件 |
| 137 | that we're either in the back of our mind trying to figure out how to get there | 我们要么在脑后 想着如何到达那里 |
| 138 | or how to keep from going there too soon. | 或如何避免去得太早。 |
| 139 | If we really let pleasure and the wisdom of pleasure be our guide, | 如果我们真的让快乐和快乐的智慧成为我们的向导 |
| 140 | we would be interested in letting every sensation last | 我们有兴趣让每一个感觉最后 |
| 141 | as long as we could stand it. | 只要我们能忍受它。 |
| 142 | And that would change the way we had sex. | 这会改变我们做爱的方式。 |
| 143 | And then we would have to refer back to the wisdom of our bodies | 然后我们不得不提到我们身体的智慧 |
| 144 | and the role of our emotions, | 和我们情感的作用, |
| 145 | because then we would really start showing up in that capacity. | 因为那样的话,我们就会以这种身份出现 |
| 146 | What would happen if we started telling the truth | 如果我们开始说实话会怎么样? |
| 147 | and trusting ourselves when it came to sex? | 并相信自己 当它涉及到性? |
| 148 | What would happen if we told the truth about our desire | 如果我们把欲望的真相说出来会怎么样? |
| 149 | to have a different kind of sex, this kind of sex? | 要有不同的性, 这种类型的性? |
| 150 | We can't do this alone. | 我们不能一个人去 |
| 151 | Sex is a revolution that will travel and travels from body to body, | 性是一种革命,它会穿梭在身体之间 |
| 152 | from breath to breath, touch to touch. | 从呼吸到呼吸 触摸到触摸 |
| 153 | Sex doesn't start in the bedroom. | 性不从寝室起. |
| 154 | It starts before we even begin touching. | 它开始之前,我们甚至开始接触。 |
| 155 | Sex starts right now, | 性从现在开始 |
| 156 | in how we relate to ourselves, | 我们如何联系自己, |
| 157 | in how we emotionally connect to the world, to our partners, | 我们如何在情感上与世界, 与我们的伙伴, |
| 158 | in how we regard ourselves. | 我们如何看待自己。 |
| 159 | The good news is this is not about learning something new. | 好消息是,这不是要学习新的东西。 |
| 160 | This is about coming back home. | 这是关于回家。 |
| 161 | This is about knowing that this is the locus of our sexual experience | 这是关于知道 这是我们性经历的焦点 |
| 162 | and trustingness. | 和信赖。 |
| 163 | When sex only goes skin deep, we know it's missing something. | 当性只去皮肤深, 我们知道它缺少的东西。 |
| 164 | We come to sex to touch what's beyond skin deep, | 我们做爱是为了触摸皮肤以外的事物 |
| 165 | and that's what makes sex really beautiful. | 所以性爱才真正美丽 |
| 166 | The next time we're in bed with a partner | 下次我们和一个搭档上床 |
| 167 | or on the brink of a sexual experience, | 或在性经历的边缘, |
| 168 | see if you can let yourself really be there | 看看你能不能让自己真正在那里 |
| 169 | in exactly what is happening for you, | 发生在你身上的事情 |
| 170 | without a script in your mind, | 在你的脑海里没有剧本 |
| 171 | without going through the motions, and without any kind of autopilot. | 没有任何自动驾驶 |
| 172 | Can you really trust what's happening in your body | 你能相信身体里发生的一切吗? |
| 173 | and let that be there? | 让它在那里? |
| 174 | Can you get curious about what's rising up in your emotional and internal world? | 你能对情感和内在世界的崛起感到好奇吗? |
| 175 | Can you trust and listen to pleasure and let it be a guide for you? | 你能相信并聆听快乐,让它成为你的向导吗? |
| 176 | Sex is not a place for us to know. | 性不是我们知道的地方 |
| 177 | It is a place for us to come alive and discover. | 这是我们活着来发现的地方。 |
| 178 | And in the end, we hold the keys to this cage. | 最后,我们拿着这个笼子的钥匙。 |
| 179 | Sex, like any endangered species, is depending on us to save it. | 性与任何濒危物种一样,依靠我们来拯救它。 |
| 180 | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
该视频共有字幕 182 条。解锁更多字幕为会员功能，请移动到 价格
P2 · 好的性爱不在于你懂多少技巧【TED演讲】 p02 英文字幕(中文外挂) (P2)
字幕摘录
| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| 0:00 | I am afraid that we have turned our back on what sex has to give us. | 恐怕我们放弃了性能给我们带来什么 |
| 0:05 | I am afraid that sex is becoming an endangered species. | 恐怕性爱正在成为濒危物种。 |
| 0:12 | Isn't she there yet? | 她还没到吗? |
| 0:13 | I'm just not there yet. | 我只是还没有到那里。 |
| 0:15 | Can he see I'm not there yet? | 他看到我还没到吗? |
| 0:17 | I wonder if this feels good. | 不知道这感觉是不是很好 |
| 0:19 | This really doesn't feel good, but he seems to be into it. | 这真的不觉得好, 但他似乎喜欢它。 |
| 0:22 | Just keep going. | 继续走 |
| 0:24 | Hold your breath, focus, think about the laundry. | 屏息,专注,考虑洗衣服. |
| 0:27 | Whatever you do, just don't come on. | 不管你做什么,只是不要来。 |
展开字幕全文（183 条）
| 序号 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | I am afraid that we have turned our back on what sex has to give us. | 恐怕我们放弃了性能给我们带来什么 |
| 2 | I am afraid that sex is becoming an endangered species. | 恐怕性爱正在成为濒危物种。 |
| 3 | Isn't she there yet? | 她还没到吗? |
| 4 | I'm just not there yet. | 我只是还没有到那里。 |
| 5 | Can he see I'm not there yet? | 他看到我还没到吗? |
| 6 | I wonder if this feels good. | 不知道这感觉是不是很好 |
| 7 | This really doesn't feel good, but he seems to be into it. | 这真的不觉得好, 但他似乎喜欢它。 |
| 8 | Just keep going. | 继续走 |
| 9 | Hold your breath, focus, think about the laundry. | 屏息,专注,考虑洗衣服. |
| 10 | Whatever you do, just don't come on. | 不管你做什么,只是不要来。 |
| 11 | Don't be a prude, just go for it. | 别装傻了,你去吧 |
| 12 | Stop acting like such a slut. | 别像个荡妇 |
| 13 | Stop feeling so much. | 别太激动了 |
| 14 | Act like you're feeling something else. | 装作你有别的感觉 |
| 15 | Just stop feeling. | 停止感觉。 |
| 16 | Roll over and pretend you're tired. | 翻过来假装你累了 |
| 17 | But it's been months. | 但已经几个月了 |
| 18 | I miss you. | и稱 |
| 19 | I thought they were into me. | 我以为他们喜欢我 |
| 20 | I am so into her. | 我很喜欢她。 |
| 21 | What is happening with my body? | 我的身体怎么样了? |
| 22 | I create conversations about sex for a living. | 我创造关于性生活的对话。 |
| 23 | I hear stories about people's sex lives, | 我听到关于人们性生活的故事, |
| 24 | and I've had the honor of hearing them tell me all kinds of things | 我有幸听到他们告诉我各种各样的事情 |
| 25 | that they've never shared with anyone. | 他们从来没有与任何人分享。 |
| 26 | I hear from teenagers and adults, | 我从青少年和成年人那里听说 |
| 27 | people who are married, single, celibate, divorced, | 已婚、单身、单身、离异、 |
| 28 | people who love sex, people who are afraid of sex, | 喜欢性的人, 害怕性的人, |
| 29 | people who've never had sex. | 从来没有做过性爱的人 |
| 30 | What you just heard are some of the voices that follow us to bed. | 你刚才听到的是 跟着我们睡觉的一些声音 |
| 31 | I'm here today to offer us a new story about sex. | 我今天来这里是为了给我们介绍一个关于性的新故事. |
| 32 | But in order to do that, | 但为了做到这一点, |
| 33 | I want to start by helping us see the story | 我想从帮助我们看故事开始 |
| 34 | that we're already living inside of | 我们已经生活在其中 |
| 35 | and how that has set us up to fail at sex. | 和它是如何让我们失败 在性。 |
| 36 | We live in a super confusing sexual culture. | 我们生活在一个超级混乱的性文化中。 |
| 37 | On one side is pressure. | 一边是压力 |
| 38 | Locker room talk, pornography, magazine covers, Hollywood imaging, | 洛克的房间谈话,色情,杂志封面,好莱坞的影像, |
| 39 | giving us a totally unrealistic and over-sexualized version of what sex is, | 给我们一个完全不现实和过度性化的版本 性是什么, |
| 40 | telling us what sex and sexy is supposed to look, act, | 告诉我们什么是性与性感 应该是看起来,行动, |
| 41 | sound like, and feel like. | 听起来像,感觉像。 |
| 42 | And on the other side of the equation is silence. | 而彼方中即是寂灭. |
| 43 | Silence, repression, and shame. | 沉默、镇压和羞耻 |
| 44 | We get messages like, | 我们得到的信息像, |
| 45 | don't let anyone find out, don't talk about it, | 不要让任何人发现, 不要谈论它, |
| 46 | don't ask questions, don't be curious. | 别问,别好奇 |
| 47 | Essentially, sex is still taboo and forbidden territory. | 基本上,性仍然是禁忌和禁区。 |
| 48 | These stories have hijacked our bodies and our beds, | 这些故事劫持了我们的尸体和床 |
| 49 | and they operate in the background | 并在背景中运作 |
| 50 | dictating what actually happens in our sexual exchanges | 描述我们性交易中发生的事 |
| 51 | and what doesn't happen. | 和没有发生的事情。 |
| 52 | We are simultaneously, without realizing it, | 我们同时,没有意识到, |
| 53 | being bounced off the walls between pornography and puritanism. | 被从色情和清教徒之间的墙壁上反弹。 |
| 54 | No wonder sex is complicated, and it's not our fault. | 难怪性很复杂 这不是我们的错 |
| 55 | How many of us have ever faked an orgasm, | 我们当中有多少人曾经假装过高潮 |
| 56 | endured physical discomfort, | 忍受身体不适, |
| 57 | thought about the grocery list, | 想到杂货单, |
| 58 | ignored our partner in pursuit of our own pleasure, | 无视我们的伙伴 追求自己的快乐, |
| 59 | gotten bored, | 变得无聊了 |
| 60 | wondered whether our partner was enjoying things but never stopped to ask, | 想知道我们的搭档是否在享受生活 但从未停止过问 |
| 61 | pushed down rising emotion, played it cool, | 推下来的情绪上升, 发挥它凉爽, |
| 62 | felt ashamed for what our bodies were or were not doing, | 对于我们的身体所做的事感到羞愧, |
| 63 | felt violated even though we said yes, | 尽管我们答应了,但还是觉得被侵犯 |
| 64 | needed a drink just to go there? | 要喝一杯吗? |
| 65 | I think we can all relate to at least some of these. | 我认为,我们至少可以讨论其中一些问题。 |
| 66 | This has become our cultural norm. | 这已成为我们的文化规范。 |
| 67 | We have come to approach sex like we would a job, | 我们来接近性 喜欢我们的工作, |
| 68 | a sport, or a math equation. | 运动,或数学方程式。 |
| 69 | We try to figure it out, get it right, | 我们试着想出办法 |
| 70 | go through the motions, do our duty, play a good game, | 完成我们的职责 玩个好游戏 |
| 71 | make it to the finish line, and fake it. | 到终点线上,然后假装它。 |
| 72 | And when we do that, it hurts. | 而当我们这样做,它伤害。 |
| 73 | Whether we are 16 or 65, | 不管我们是16岁还是65岁 |
| 74 | and the reality is that whether we're with a new lover or 65, | 而现实是,无论我们和一个新情人 还是65, |
| 75 | don't tell the truth, and we don't trust ourselves. | 别说实话,我们不相信自己 |
| 76 | What we do instead is put our game faces on. | 我们要做的就是把游戏的面孔戴上。 |
| 77 | We act like we are performers in someone else's script. | 我们表现得好像在别人的剧本里表演 |
| 78 | We demand our bodies to look and act the part. | 我们要求我们的身体注意并发挥这一作用。 |
| 79 | We pretend we're feeling things that we're not. | 我们假装感觉我们不是 |
| 80 | We ignore emotions and things that we want to say. | 我们忽略了情感和我们想说的话。 |
| 81 | We ignore our instincts, | 我们无视我们的直觉, |
| 82 | all in the name of what we think sex is supposed to be. | 所有的名义,我们认为 性应该是。 |
| 83 | It's true that we're missing something in sex, | 我们真的错过了性爱 |
| 84 | but it's not what we think it is. | 但不是我们所想的那样 |
| 85 | What we're missing is ourselves. | 我们缺少的是自己。 |
| 86 | What's happened is that we have begun to look outside of ourselves | 发生的事是,我们开始 寻找我们自己之外 |
| 87 | and look to the world to tell us what sex is. | 并期待着世界告诉我们什么是性。 |
| 88 | We've begun to just believe a bunch of false sexual stories, | 我们开始相信一堆虚假的性故事 |
| 89 | and instead of turning around and calling their bluff, | 而不是转过身去叫他们虚张声势 |
| 90 | we walk around thinking there's something wrong with us, | 我们到处走 以为我们有问题, |
| 91 | taking it personally, wondering what we're missing, | 以个人名义 想知道我们错过了什么 |
| 92 | and thinking we don't measure up. | 以为我们不衡量。 |
| 93 | Nothing could be further from the truth. | 没有什么比事实更进一步了。 |
| 94 | We have put ourselves and sex in a box that is simply way too small. | 我们把自己和性放在一个太小的盒子里。 |
| 95 | And like anything that gets put in a cage, it and we want to be free. | 像任何被关进笼子里的东西, 它和我们想要自由。 |
| 96 | As a wide-open horizon and landscape of possibility, | 作为一个广阔的视野 和可能的地貌, |
| 97 | it has its palm out, waiting to catch us, | 它有它的掌,等待我们, |
| 98 | waiting to show us parts of ourselves we've never seen before. | 等着向我们展示我们从未见过的部分 |
| 99 | It is an adventure. | 这是一个冒险。 |
| 100 | It is a hidden landscape. | 这是一个隐藏的景观。 |
| 101 | It is an open horizon that is waiting for us every single time, | 这是一个开阔的地平线,每一次都在等待我们, |
| 102 | an unwritten-upon canvas | 一张没有写好的画布 |
| 103 | that depends entirely on us being ourselves. | 这完全取决于我们自己。 |
| 104 | What if we could come to sex and be more like ourselves in sex | 狦иㄓ┦ㄆ ┦ㄆ钩и |
| 105 | than we could anywhere else in the world? | 比我们能在世界上任何地方都好? |
| 106 | What if it was a place we came to be known, to come alive? | 如果这是我们已知的地方 活着来呢? |
| 107 | And I mean this whether we're talking about a one-night stand | 我的意思是,不管我们说的是一夜情 |
| 108 | or the 10th or 20th year of a marriage, | 或结婚的第10年或第20年, |
| 109 | because sex is not about knowing what we're doing. | 因为性不是要知道我们在做什么 |
| 110 | It is about knowing what we're feeling and learning to trust that. | 而是了解我们的感受 并学会相信这一点 |
| 111 | So how do we get here? | 那我们怎么到这儿? |
| 112 | We start by trusting three things. | 我们从相信三件事开始 |
| 113 | The reality of our bodies, the role of our emotions, | 我们身体的现实 情感的作用 |
| 114 | and the wisdom of our pleasure. | 和智慧,我们的快乐。 |
| 115 | Our sexual bodies are so much bigger than we give them credit for. | 我们的性躯体比我们给的功劳大得多 |
| 116 | We, all of us, this entire body, this is our sexual landscape. | 我们,我们所有人,整个身体, 这是我们的性景观。 |
| 117 | And we often rush past it as if sex was only about the genitals. | 我们经常匆忙通过它 仿佛性只是关于生殖器。 |
| 118 | And when we get to the genitals, we have all kinds of ideas | 当我们到达生殖器, 我们有各种各样的想法 |
| 119 | about what they should and shouldn't be doing and feeling. | 他们应该做什么 不应该做什么 和感觉。 |
| 120 | What would happen if we let our bodies really be | 如果我们真的让我们的身体 |
| 121 | as they actually were in any given moment in sex? | 因为他们在性生活的任何时刻? |
| 122 | That we didn't demand ourselves to feel pleasure where there wasn't, | 我们并没有要求自己 感到快乐的地方没有, |
| 123 | we didn't try to feel hard or soft or more of anything, | 我们没有尝试 感觉硬或软 或更多的任何东西, |
| 124 | but we opened up our definition of sex | 但我们打开了性的定义 |
| 125 | to include everything that was actually happening. | 包括实际发生的一切。 |
| 126 | Our hearts and our bodies are intimately connected. | 我们的心和身体紧密相连。 |
| 127 | Somehow, we've come up with the idea | 不知怎的,我们想出了这个主意 |
| 128 | that sex and emotion don't belong in the same room together, | 性与情感不属于同一个房间, |
| 129 | and when they end up there, there's a problem. | 而当他们最终在那里, 有一个问题。 |
| 130 | Our emotions are incredible messengers and textures | 我们的情感是不可思议的使者和纹理 |
| 131 | that rise up to give us information, to guide us, | 给我们信息 指引我们 |
| 132 | to tell us what we're longing for, | 告诉我们我们渴望什么 |
| 133 | to tell us what we need, what we want to give and receive. | 告诉我们我们需要什么 想要得到什么 想要得到什么 |
| 134 | They are a part of our sexual experience. | 他们是我们性经历的一部分。 |
| 135 | And if we hold back our emotions, our bodies will hold back pleasure. | 如果我们阻止我们的情绪, 我们的身体会阻止快乐。 |
| 136 | And our capacity for connection. | 还有我们的连接能力 |
| 137 | We have a very narrow definition of what sex, pleasure and orgasm actually is. | 我们对什么是性、快乐和高潮有一个非常狭义的定义。 |
| 138 | We usually spend our time in sex thinking orgasm | 我们通常在性爱中花时间思考性高潮 |
| 139 | is this destination and singular event | 是这个目的地和单数事件 |
| 140 | that we're either in the back of our mind trying to figure out how to get there | 我们要么在脑后 想着如何到达那里 |
| 141 | or how to keep from going there too soon. | 或如何避免去得太早。 |
| 142 | If we really let pleasure and the wisdom of pleasure be our guide, | 如果我们真的让快乐和快乐的智慧成为我们的向导 |
| 143 | we would be interested in letting every sensation last | 我们有兴趣让每一个感觉最后 |
| 144 | as long as we could stand it. | 只要我们能忍受它。 |
| 145 | And that would change the way we had sex. | 这会改变我们做爱的方式。 |
| 146 | And then we would have to refer back to the wisdom of our bodies | 然后我们不得不提到我们身体的智慧 |
| 147 | and the role of our emotions, | 和我们情感的作用, |
| 148 | because then we would really start showing up in that capacity. | 因为那样的话,我们就会以这种身份出现 |
| 149 | What would happen if we started telling the truth | 如果我们开始说实话会怎么样? |
| 150 | and trusting ourselves when it came to sex? | 并相信自己 当它涉及到性? |
| 151 | What would happen if we told the truth about our desire | 如果我们把欲望的真相说出来会怎么样? |
| 152 | to have a different kind of sex, this kind of sex? | 要有不同的性, 这种类型的性? |
| 153 | We can't do this alone. | 我们不能一个人去 |
| 154 | Sex is a revolution that will travel and travels from body to body, | 性是一种革命,它会穿梭在身体之间 |
| 155 | from breath to breath, touch to touch. | 从呼吸到呼吸 触摸到触摸 |
| 156 | Sex doesn't start in the bedroom. | 性不从寝室起. |
| 157 | It starts before we even begin touching. | 它开始之前,我们甚至开始接触。 |
| 158 | Sex starts right now, | 性从现在开始 |
| 159 | in how we relate to ourselves, | 我们如何联系自己, |
| 160 | in how we emotionally connect to the world, to our partners, | 我们如何在情感上与世界, 与我们的伙伴, |
| 161 | in how we regard ourselves. | 我们如何看待自己。 |
| 162 | The good news is this is not about learning something new. | 好消息是,这不是要学习新的东西。 |
| 163 | This is about coming back home. | 这是关于回家。 |
| 164 | This is about knowing that this is the locus of our sexual experience | 这是关于知道 这是我们性经历的焦点 |
| 165 | and trustingness. | 和信赖。 |
| 166 | When sex only goes skin deep, we know it's missing something. | 当性只去皮肤深, 我们知道它缺少的东西。 |
| 167 | We come to sex to touch what's beyond skin deep, | 我们做爱是为了触摸皮肤以外的事物 |
| 168 | and that's what makes sex really beautiful. | 所以性爱才真正美丽 |
| 169 | The next time we're in bed with a partner | 下次我们和一个搭档上床 |
| 170 | or on the brink of a sexual experience, | 或在性经历的边缘, |
| 171 | see if you can let yourself really be there | 看看你能不能让自己真正在那里 |
| 172 | in exactly what is happening for you, | 发生在你身上的事情 |
| 173 | without a script in your mind, | 在你的脑海里没有剧本 |
| 174 | without going through the motions, and without any kind of autopilot. | 没有任何自动驾驶 |
| 175 | Can you really trust what's happening in your body | 你能相信身体里发生的一切吗? |
| 176 | and let that be there? | 让它在那里? |
| 177 | Can you get curious about what's rising up in your emotional and internal world? | 你能对情感和内在世界的崛起感到好奇吗? |
| 178 | Can you trust and listen to pleasure and let it be a guide for you? | 你能相信并聆听快乐,让它成为你的向导吗? |
| 179 | Sex is not a place for us to know. | 性不是我们知道的地方 |
| 180 | It is a place for us to come alive and discover. | 这是我们活着来发现的地方。 |
| 181 | And in the end, we hold the keys to this cage. | 最后,我们拿着这个笼子的钥匙。 |
| 182 | Sex, like any endangered species, is depending on us to save it. | 性与任何濒危物种一样,依靠我们来拯救它。 |
| 183 | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
该视频共有字幕 184 条。解锁更多字幕为会员功能，请移动到 价格