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如何摆脱内心的自我打压,改变你的人生【TED演讲】

共 3 集

剧集目录

集标题时长
P1如何摆脱内心的自我打压,改变你的人生【TED演讲】 中英双语14:07
P2如何摆脱内心的自我打压,改变你的人生【TED演讲】 英文字幕14:07
P3如何摆脱内心的自我打压,改变你的人生【TED演讲】 无字幕(14:07

P1 · 如何摆脱内心的自我打压,改变你的人生【TED演讲】 p01 中英双语 (P1)

字幕摘录

时间英文中文
0:01What if you were limitless?如果你是无限的呢?
0:03What if every single day you knew that nothing狦–ぱ常笵
0:06or no one would get you down?还是没人能把你弄下来?
0:08What if self-doubt was replaced with unshakable conviction?如果自我怀疑被不可动摇的信念所取代呢?
0:12Imagine how your life would play out over a week,想象一下你一周后的生活会怎样
0:14a month, or even a year.一个月甚至一年
0:16Imagine the snowball of momentum and confidence,想象一下 势头和信心的雪球,
0:20regardless of external setbacks.不论外部的挫折。
0:22We all know those remarkable, even obsessive people我们都知道那些了不起的, 甚至是迷恋的人
0:25that really go for it.这真的去它。
展开字幕全文(323 条)
序号英文中文
1What if you were limitless?如果你是无限的呢?
2What if every single day you knew that nothing狦–ぱ常笵
3or no one would get you down?还是没人能把你弄下来?
4What if self-doubt was replaced with unshakable conviction?如果自我怀疑被不可动摇的信念所取代呢?
5Imagine how your life would play out over a week,想象一下你一周后的生活会怎样
6a month, or even a year.一个月甚至一年
7Imagine the snowball of momentum and confidence,想象一下 势头和信心的雪球,
8regardless of external setbacks.不论外部的挫折。
9We all know those remarkable, even obsessive people我们都知道那些了不起的, 甚至是迷恋的人
10that really go for it.这真的去它。
11They truly live their potential with conviction.他们真正以信念来发挥潜力。
12What's the key difference between this tiny subset这个小子集的关键区别是什么
13of movers and shakers and a majority移动者和摇动者及多数
14with equally lofty aspirations that never really get there?有着同样崇高的愿望,却从未真正到达?
15I've had the good fortune of working with thousands我有幸和上千人合作
16of leaders at some of the most influential companies一些最有影响力的公司的领导人
17around the globe.环绕全球
18My business helps them to boost their performance,我的生意能帮助他们提升自己的表现
19and part of the process includes identifying进程的一部分包括:
20and removing obstacles that get in their way.并消除阻碍他们的障碍。
21As I engaged with more and more leaders,随着我与越来越多的领导人接触,
22I started to notice a pattern emerging我开始注意到一种模式
23among those that operated with a limited mindset在心态有限的人当中
24versus the limitless minority.与无限少数相对.
25It turns out what held back most of these otherwise原来是什么东西 挡住了大部分这些 否则
26exceptional and talented people wasn't a lack of skill,才能非凡的人不是缺乏技能,
27experience, or even resources.经验,甚至资源
28It was often rooted in a relationship with the closest它常常根植于与最亲密的
29and most influential person in their lives.他们生活中最有影响力的人
30And this person would always appear to care,这个人似乎总是在乎
31but instead would sabotage their progress and growth.反而会破坏他们的进步和成长
32You have such a person in your life too.你生命中也有这样的人
33They're much closer than what you realize他们比你知道的要近得多
34because they exist up here in your mind.因为它们存在于你的脑海里
35I am not talking imaginary friends,我不是在说想象中的朋友
36I'm talking about your inner deceiver.我说的是你的内在欺骗者
37It's that insistent voice in your head你脑子里一直有声音
38that judges you, demeans you,审判你,贬低你,
39shines a spotlight on your weaknesses.点亮你的弱点
40And because most aren't even aware of it,因为大多数人甚至不知道这一点,
41it can lead to destructive self-doubt它会导致破坏性的自我怀疑
42and even self-sabotage.乃至自毁.
43It was clear to me that the happiest,我很清楚最快乐的是
44most fulfilled, and highest performers成绩最好,表现最好
45had figured out how to subdue their inner deceiver.已经想通如何制服他们的内奸
46In fact, in the patterns I observed,事实上,在我观察到的模式中,
47there wasn't just one inner deceiver.不只是一个内在的骗子
48I identified five of the most common archetypes,我发现了五种最常用的型号
49and now I'm going to expose them to you现在我要揭发他们
50because you won't be able to subdue them因为你无法征服他们
51without first recognizing them.不首先认出他们。
52And the prerequisite to operating和操作的先决条件
53with a truly limitless mindset有着无限的心态
54is that you first need to free yourself是你们首先需要解放自己
55from their clutches.从他们的离合器。
56Let's start with the deceiver I call the classic judge.先从我叫经典法官的骗子开始
57As the name suggests, the judge likes to judge you.法官喜欢审判你
58What you did, what you didn't do,你做了什么,你没有做什么,
59what you should have done, criticizing every decision你本该做的事 批评每个决定
60and blaming you for things outside of your control.并责备你的事情 超出你的控制。
61When you ruminate on past failures当你追寻过去的失败
62with an unforgiving lens, that's not you.带着无法原谅的镜头,那不是你。
63That's the classic judge preventing you这是典型的裁判阻止你
64from learning from the past.从学习过去。
65And instead, beating you down.而不是把你打下来
66Most psychology researchers agree that these deceivers大多数心理学研究者都认为这些骗子
67begin to emerge based on the parenting you received根据你得到的养育关系开始出现
68when you were a child.当你还是个孩子的时候
69If you had a critical, controlling or demanding parent,如果你有一个批评,控制或要求的父母,
70you come to internalize this judgment你是来把判决内部化的
71and it manifests within you as an adult.它显示在你的体内 作为一个成年人。
72So you give yourself the same critical judgment.所以你给自己同样的批判。
73You develop an inability to acknowledge你无法承认
74anything positive about yourself or your performance,任何关于你或你表现的积极,
75and it's extremely damaging.它的破坏非常严重。
76The second deceiver is the victimizer.第二惑者为害者.
77She has a way of convincing you that the universe她可以说服你宇宙
78is rigged to conspire against you.是用来谋反的
79She fills your mind with excuses她给你添了借口
80and robs you of your willpower.并剥夺你的意志力。
81Conversations with the victimizer sound like,与受害者交谈 听起来像,
82see, this always happens to you.你看,这总是发生在你身上。
83Every time an opportunity comes up,每次机会出现
84somehow you get screwed over.不知怎的,你被骗了
85You're never going to be good enough for them.你永远也配不上他们
86So what do you do?那你怎么办?
87You give up.你放弃吧
88You stop trying because your victimizer reminds you,你停止尝试 因为你的牺牲者提醒你,
89what's the point anyway?有什么意义呢?
90You can't win.你不能赢
91You never win.你从没赢过
92Next we have the deceiver I call the misguided protector.接下来,我们有 欺骗者我叫错误的保护者。
93Your protector says things like,你的保护者说,
94whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down.慢点
95Did you think this through?你有没有想清楚?
96You don't know enough.你不够清楚
97You're not qualified.你没有资格
98You're too old, too young.你太老了 太年轻了
99You'll mess up.你会搞砸的
100Don't do it.别
101It tries to protect you from a risk of failure,它试图保护你 避免失败的风险,
102judgment or criticism.判断或批评。
103How?怎么会?
104By keeping you paralyzed so you don't take any action让你瘫痪 这样你就不会采取任何行动
105because then you're safe, but you're also stuck.因为那时你很安全 但你也被困住了
106If your parents set high standards for you如果你的父母为你设定了高标准
107and excessively criticized you并且过分批评你,
108when you failed to meet these standards,当你没有达到这些标准,
109for example, you got an A,例如,你有一个A,
110why couldn't you get an A plus为什么你不能得到一个A+
111like your perfect cousin Julio?就像你完美的表弟朱利奥?
112You may hear it as your misguided protector up here,你可以在这里听到你被误导的守护者的声音
113which leads you to fear failure and never feel ready.这让你害怕失败 永远无法做好准备
114Second to last is the ringmaster.第二至最后是戒师.
115The ringmaster is all about productivity guilt.掌门人讲的是生产力的内疚
116If you're not familiar with the term,如果你对术语不熟悉
117it's when you have an unhealthy drive to keep working是当你有一个不健康的驱动器 继续工作
118because you feel guilty when you stop.因为你停止的时候感到内疚
119The ringmaster is very good at brainwashing you掌门人很擅长洗脑
120into believing that your worth and merit as a person相信你作为一个人的价值和功绩
121are directly correlated to how productive you are.和你的生产力直接相关
122You achieve a goal, feel no satisfaction你达到目的,不满意
123and immediately jump to the next goal,并立即跳到下一个进球,
124the unfulfilling treadmill of achievement addiction.无法完成的脚步车 成就成瘾。
125But the thing is, no matter how hard you push yourself但问题是,无论你如何努力
126or what you achieve, you will never be good enough或你的成就,你永远也不够好
127or have done enough for the ringmaster.或者已经做了足够的 指使。
128Our survey of two and a half thousand people globally我们对全球2.5万人的调查
129found an overwhelming 93% experienced this guilt frequently,发现93%的人 经常经历这种罪责
130putting themselves at risk of burnout.让自己面临燃烧的危险
131Maybe you haven't met any of these deceivers yet,也许你还没有见过这些骗子
132but instead are well acquainted with this last one.却对这最后一篇很熟悉
133Closely related to the ringmaster, it's the neglector.与戒师关系密切,是疏忽者.
134When you feel insecure in your worth,当你觉得没有安全感 你的价值,
135you anticipate rejection.你将拒绝。
136So you constantly seek validation所以你不断寻求验证
137by prioritizing the needs of everyone else.通过优先考虑其他人的需要。
138If you didn't receive emotional validation as a child如果你小时候没有得到情感鉴定
139or you had a parent that was hard to please,或者你有一个很难取悦的父母
140you might work really hard as an adult to try你可能真的努力 作为一个成年人尝试
141and seek approval from everyone around you,并征求你周围所有人的同意,
142partners, peers, coworkers, your boss.合伙人,同伴,同事,你的老板。
143And then whenever you don't receive it,然后每当你没有得到它,
144it's an automatic trigger自动触发
145and you have a conditioned need to win it back.并且你有一个条件 需要赢得它回来。
146The neglector drives you to give beyond your capacity,忽视者驱使你超越你的能力
147leaving you exhausted, drained and overwhelmed.让你精疲力竭 精疲力竭 不堪重负
148So the stakes are high.故其利害甚高.
149If you listen to these deceivers,如果你听这些骗子的话
150you buy into their narrative and give them power over you.你买进他们的叙述 并赋予他们权力 对你。
151The good news is that change is possible.好消息是改变是可能的。
152You can break free from these limits.你可以打破这些限制。
153The first step is awareness.第一步是提高认识。
154If you have a classic judge hurling judgment如果你有一个典型的法官 抛出判断
155and criticism at you for everything that you do,批评你所做的一切,
156call it out.调用它。
157Classic judge, I know you're trying to convince me经典法官 我知道你想说服我
158that I'm incompetent right now,我现在无能
159but I'm choosing not to listen.但我选择不听
160Calling it out in this way这样叫出来
161is a form of psychological distancing是一种心理疏远的形式
162where you're referring to this part of yourself你指的是你自己的这部分
163in the third person.在第三人称。
164We know from science that third person self-talk我们从科学上知道第三人称自言自语
165helps you gain emotional distance from your deceiver,帮助你与你的欺骗者保持感情上的距离,
166allowing you to think with more rationality.让你更理性地思考
167If you notice your victimizer,如果你注意到你的伤害者,
168making you feel like you should just give up让你觉得你应该放弃
169because the world is against you,因为世界反对你,
170shift to an internal locus of control,转向内部控制中心,
171except the fact that you can choose除了你可以选择
172what you focus on at any moment.你随时关注的
173You can choose to focus on things outside of your control你可以选择专注于你无法控制的事情
174and feel powerless,并且感觉无力,
175or you control what you have control over.或者你控制你拥有的一切
176Instead of saying, look at what happened to me,而不是说,看看我发生了什么事,
177look at what they did to me,看看他们对我做了什么
178use a technique called cognitive shifting使用一种叫做认知转变的技术
179and consciously redirect your attention to,并自觉地将注意力转向,
180okay, this is what's happening in my life.好吧,这就是发生在我的生活中。
181This is where I want to be这就是我想要的地方
182and this is what I'm going to do about it.这就是我要做的
183Now you're speaking from a position of personal power.现在你从个人权力的角度说话
184You take responsibility for what's within your control你对自己控制的一切负责
185and choose to take action.并选择采取行动。
186What if you hear your misguided protector in your psyche如果你在你的心理中听到你错误的保护者
187trying to convince you that you'll fail试图说服你 你会失败
188so you shouldn't try at all?所以,你不应该尝试吗?
189I have my own experience with my misguided protector.我有自己的经验 与我的误导保护者。
190Chances are I wouldn't even be here我可能不会在这里
191or where I am today if I listened to it.或我今天所在的地方 如果我听它。
192Back in March of 2020,回到2020年3月时,
193when the world was suddenly in lockdowns,当世界突然被封锁的时候,
194all of our business bookings我们所有的商务预订
195were either canceled or postponed被取消或推迟
196and our business was dead in the water.我们的生意就死在水里
197So I was curious about experimenting所以我对实验感到好奇
198with an app called TikTok.有个叫TikTok的应用程序
199I wanted to create content我想创造内容
200and see if we could help people through that platform.看看我们能不能通过这个平台帮助人们。
201But then my protector woke up and said,但后来我的守护者醒来说,
202people will think you're ridiculous.人们会认为你很可笑
203You're way too old for that.你年纪太大了
204It's going to ruin your reputation.这会毁了你的声誉
205And I listened to my protector for two months我听了两个月的保护者的话
206until I didn't anymore.直到我不再这样
207I decided to take action instead.我决定采取行动
208I created 40 pieces of video content in one day.我一天内创造了40个视频内容.
209This way I couldn't back down for 40 days这样我40天都回不来了
210no matter what my protector said.不管我的保护者怎么说
211And you know what?你知道吗?
212All it took was 40 days to see tens of thousands只花了40天才看到数万人
213of followers start to accumulate.追随者开始积累。
214I didn't make perfection the goal.我没有让完美的目标。
215I made the process the goal.我让过程成为目标
216And nearly two years later,两年后,
217we have a million followers on that platform这个平台上有百万的追随者
218and over 2 million across all major social media platforms,和超过200万 在所有主要的社交媒体平台,
219which has been the best marketing for our business,这一直是我们企业最好的营销,
220taking us global and allowing us to help people带我们走向全球,让我们帮助人民
221all around the world.到处都是
222And none of that would have happened这一切都不会发生
223if I'd listened to my protector and stayed safe.如果我听了保护者的话 并保持安全
224So if you ever feel your protector taking over,所以如果你觉得你的保护者接管
225grab a blank sheet of paper抓一张空白的纸
226and write down all the protector's arguments.并记录所有的保护者的论点。
227Then ask, is this scenario likely to happen?那么,问,这种情景 有可能发生吗?
228What's the worst that could happen realistically?最糟糕的会发生什么?
229Take time to rationally risk assess花时间进行合理的风险评估
230and you'll likely find it's just your protector你会发现它只是你的保护者
231being overly dramatic.过于戏剧化。
232Given the protector tries to keep you safe保护者想保护你
233by keeping you stuck, the best antidote is to take action.最好的解药就是采取行动
234Don't worry about getting things right the first go.不用担心先把事情搞好
235Don't make perfection the standard.别让标准完美
236Just act, be consistent and be open to growth.行动起来,保持一贯,向增长开放。
237Make the process the goal.让过程成为目标。
238Now the ringmaster, if you feel undeserving现在的掌声,如果你觉得不值得
239of taking a break and feel guilt or shame when you do,当你休息,感到内疚或羞耻,
240change the narrative in your head.改变你脑袋里的叙事
241Value yourself for who you are, not what you've done.珍视自己是谁,而不是你做了什么。
242Stop wearing busy as a badge of honor.别忙着戴着荣誉徽章
243Remind yourself of your qualities,提醒自己你的素质,
244the value you add to the lives of others,你给别人的生活带来的价值,
245how you make a difference, write this down.写下来 写下来
246And with this sense of empowerment,有了这种赋予权力的感觉,
247pragmatically set healthy boundaries务实地确定健康的界限
248so that you have a more balanced life.以便你们过上更加平衡的生活。
249Working hard at times is not a bad thing,有时努力工作不是坏事
250but risking burnout is counterproductive to performance.但冒着被烧死的风险,对业绩是适得其反的。
251And finally, those of you who have a loud neglector,最后,你们中那些有明显的疏忽者,
252I know what you're going through.我知道你在经历什么。
253Early in my career, my neglector was loud.职业生涯初期,我的忽视者声大.
254I would constantly over-apologize我会不断的过度道歉
255when I hadn't done anything wrong,当我没有做错什么,
256agree with people when I actually disagreed on principle,同意人们的意见,其实我不同意原则,
257avoid any possibility of conflict and would say,并会说,
258yes, of course, when I really meant no.是的,当然,当我真的意思不是。
259I was a people pleaser to the point我是一个民意喜悦的人
260of sacrificing who I truly was.牺牲我的真面目
261I gave away so much of myself我放弃了这么多自己
262in my efforts to be approved of我为批准
263that I no longer knew who I was.我不再知道我是谁。
264But you can't be limitless但你不能无穷无尽
265if you have nothing left inside to give.如果你里面没有东西可以给你
266If you have a strong neglector like I did,如果你像我一样有很强的疏忽者
267you need to overcome the codependency and acknowledge您需要克服 编码和承认
268your worth is not linked to how you think others see you.你的价值与你的看法无关
269If you let people's perception of you dictate your behavior,如果你让别人对你的看法 支配你的行为
270you will never grow as a person.你永远不会成长为一个人。
271And when you do choose to give of yourself in the future,当你选择在未来献身时
272ask, am I doing this out of compulsion for approval问,我这样做是不是出于强迫 批准
273or is it in a true spirit of service?还是真正的服务精神?
274So these are the five inner critical deceivers,这五个内在的欺骗者,
275the archetypes I've identified cross-culturally从文化角度上来说,我所发现的古老类型
276with people all around the world.与世界各地的人。
277And what's really interesting is that we've observed有趣的是,我们观察到
278that many high performers believe许多优秀的艺人相信
279that these inner deceivers are central这些内在的欺骗者是核心
280to driving their performance.驾驶他们的表演。
281While outwardly they appear successful,虽然他们表面上看起来很成功,
282allowing their core driving force to emanate允许其核心动力出现
283from the fear of failure, envy, greed,远离失败 嫉妒 贪婪
284seeking approval and status is a proven source寻求批准和身份证明是一个来源
285of unhappiness, constant stress and a lack of fulfillment.幸福、压力和缺乏满足
286What they failed to realize was that they've become trapped他们没意识到 他们被困住了
287in the obsessive prison of self.在自恋的监狱里
288My needs, my pain, my success, how people see me.我的需要,我的痛苦,我的成功, 人们如何看待我。
289So they continue to operate through a desire所以他们继续通过欲望运作
290to avoid negative states and outcomes避免消极状态和结果
291instead of being in a limitless mindset.而不是陷入无限的心态。
292It's a bad deal.交易不顺.
293Here is a better deal.这是更好的交易。
294If our reality is indeed our thoughts,如果我们的现实确实是我们的想法,
295emotions and how we uniquely experience the world,情感和我们如何独特的体验世界,
296then I invite you to acknowledge那我请你们承认
297that there is a second side to us,我们还有另一面,
298our higher nature, if you will.我们的天性,如果你愿意的话。
299One that is intrinsically motivated by a desire一个内在的动机是欲望
300to express excellence, confidence, being of service,表达卓越、自信、服务
301love, creativity, courage and justice.爱、创造力、勇气和正义
302This is the limitless aspect of our nature这是我们本性无限的一面
303that is liberated from the prison of the insistent self.从牢狱中解放出来
304And as you consistently put in the work就像你一直以来把工作放在
305to decouple from your inner deceivers,与你的内在欺骗者决裂,
306integrating the practices I've shared with daily routines将我分享的日常做法结合起来
307of meditation, journaling, prayer and reflection,以便你们记念、记念、祈祷和思维,
308I want you to remember that each one of us我要你记住我们每个人
309has the power to operate from our higher,有能力从我们的上级行动,
310our limitless nature.我们无限的本性
311The struggle to keep them at bay is a lifelong one,阻止他们的斗争是终身的
312but I promise you, as you've distanced yourself但我答应你,因为你已经疏远了自己
313from these voices, your life will begin to transform.从这些声音, 你的生活将开始改变。
314So I have a challenge for you.所以我有一个挑战给你。
315Seriously commit to reframing your relationship认真承诺重塑你们的关系
316with your inner deceivers.与你的内在欺骗者。
317Acknowledge they exist, be aware of them承认他们的存在, 了解他们
318and learn to discern between rational thought学会辨别理性的思想
319and the voices of the ego.和自我的声音。
320Your prison of self, it limits you.你的自我监狱,它限制了你。
321When you break free, your thoughts become limitless.当你打破自由, 你的思想变得无限。
322You become limitless.你变得无限。
323Thank you.谢谢
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P2 · 如何摆脱内心的自我打压,改变你的人生【TED演讲】 p02 英文字幕(注释+中文外挂) (P2)

字幕摘录

时间英文中文
0:01What if you were limitless?如果你是无限的呢?
0:03What if every single day you knew that nothing狦–ぱ常笵
0:06or no one would get you down?还是没人能把你弄下来?
0:08What if self-doubt was replaced with unshakable conviction?如果自我怀疑被不可动摇的信念所取代呢?
0:12Imagine how your life would play out over a week,想象一下你一周后的生活会怎样
0:14a month, or even a year.一个月甚至一年
0:16Imagine the snowball of momentum and confidence,想象一下 势头和信心的雪球,
0:20regardless of external setbacks.不论外部的挫折。
0:22We all know those remarkable, even obsessive people我们都知道那些了不起的, 甚至是迷恋的人
0:25that really go for it.这真的去它。
展开字幕全文(323 条)
序号英文中文
1What if you were limitless?如果你是无限的呢?
2What if every single day you knew that nothing狦–ぱ常笵
3or no one would get you down?还是没人能把你弄下来?
4What if self-doubt was replaced with unshakable conviction?如果自我怀疑被不可动摇的信念所取代呢?
5Imagine how your life would play out over a week,想象一下你一周后的生活会怎样
6a month, or even a year.一个月甚至一年
7Imagine the snowball of momentum and confidence,想象一下 势头和信心的雪球,
8regardless of external setbacks.不论外部的挫折。
9We all know those remarkable, even obsessive people我们都知道那些了不起的, 甚至是迷恋的人
10that really go for it.这真的去它。
11They truly live their potential with conviction.他们真正以信念来发挥潜力。
12What's the key difference between this tiny subset这个小子集的关键区别是什么
13of movers and shakers and a majority移动者和摇动者及多数
14with equally lofty aspirations that never really get there?有着同样崇高的愿望,却从未真正到达?
15I've had the good fortune of working with thousands我有幸和上千人合作
16of leaders at some of the most influential companies一些最有影响力的公司的领导人
17around the globe.环绕全球
18My business helps them to boost their performance,我的生意能帮助他们提升自己的表现
19and part of the process includes identifying进程的一部分包括:
20and removing obstacles that get in their way.并消除阻碍他们的障碍。
21As I engaged with more and more leaders,随着我与越来越多的领导人接触,
22I started to notice a pattern emerging我开始注意到一种模式
23among those that operated with a limited mindset在心态有限的人当中
24versus the limitless minority.与无限少数相对.
25It turns out what held back most of these otherwise原来是什么东西 挡住了大部分这些 否则
26exceptional and talented people wasn't a lack of skill,才能非凡的人不是缺乏技能,
27experience, or even resources.经验,甚至资源
28It was often rooted in a relationship with the closest它常常根植于与最亲密的
29and most influential person in their lives.他们生活中最有影响力的人
30And this person would always appear to care,这个人似乎总是在乎
31but instead would sabotage their progress and growth.反而会破坏他们的进步和成长
32You have such a person in your life too.你生命中也有这样的人
33They're much closer than what you realize他们比你知道的要近得多
34because they exist up here in your mind.因为它们存在于你的脑海里
35I am not talking imaginary friends,我不是在说想象中的朋友
36I'm talking about your inner deceiver.我说的是你的内在欺骗者
37It's that insistent voice in your head你脑子里一直有声音
38that judges you, demeans you,审判你,贬低你,
39shines a spotlight on your weaknesses.点亮你的弱点
40And because most aren't even aware of it,因为大多数人甚至不知道这一点,
41it can lead to destructive self-doubt它会导致破坏性的自我怀疑
42and even self-sabotage.乃至自毁.
43It was clear to me that the happiest,我很清楚最快乐的是
44most fulfilled, and highest performers成绩最好,表现最好
45had figured out how to subdue their inner deceiver.已经想通如何制服他们的内奸
46In fact, in the patterns I observed,事实上,在我观察到的模式中,
47there wasn't just one inner deceiver.不只是一个内在的骗子
48I identified five of the most common archetypes,我发现了五种最常用的型号
49and now I'm going to expose them to you现在我要揭发他们
50because you won't be able to subdue them因为你无法征服他们
51without first recognizing them.不首先认出他们。
52And the prerequisite to operating和操作的先决条件
53with a truly limitless mindset有着无限的心态
54is that you first need to free yourself是你们首先需要解放自己
55from their clutches.从他们的离合器。
56Let's start with the deceiver I call the classic judge.先从我叫经典法官的骗子开始
57As the name suggests, the judge likes to judge you.法官喜欢审判你
58What you did, what you didn't do,你做了什么,你没有做什么,
59what you should have done, criticizing every decision你本该做的事 批评每个决定
60and blaming you for things outside of your control.并责备你的事情 超出你的控制。
61When you ruminate on past failures当你追寻过去的失败
62with an unforgiving lens, that's not you.带着无法原谅的镜头,那不是你。
63That's the classic judge preventing you这是典型的裁判阻止你
64from learning from the past and instead beating you down.从学习过去 而不是打倒你。
65Most psychology researchers agree that these deceivers大多数心理学研究者都认为这些骗子
66begin to emerge based on the parenting you received根据你得到的养育关系开始出现
67when you were a child.当你还是个孩子的时候
68If you had a critical, controlling, or demanding parent,如果你有一个批评,控制,或要求父母,
69you come to internalize this judgment你是来把判决内部化的
70and it manifests within you as an adult.它显示在你的体内 作为一个成年人。
71So you give yourself the same critical judgment.所以你给自己同样的批判。
72You develop an inability to acknowledge anything positive你变得无法承认什么是积极的
73about yourself or your performance.关于你自己或你的表演。
74And it's extremely damaging.并极具破坏力.
75The second deceiver is the victimizer.第二惑者为害者.
76She has a way of convincing you that the universe她可以说服你宇宙
77is rigged to conspire against you.是用来谋反的
78She fills your mind with excuses她给你添了借口
79and robs you of your willpower.并剥夺你的意志力。
80Conversations with the victimizer sound like,与受害者交谈 听起来像,
81see, this always happens to you.你看,这总是发生在你身上。
82Every time an opportunity comes up,每次机会出现
83somehow you get screwed over.不知怎的,你被骗了
84You're never going to be good enough for them.你永远也配不上他们
85So what do you do?那你怎么办?
86You give up.你放弃吧
87You stop trying because your victimizer reminds you,你停止尝试 因为你的牺牲者提醒你,
88what's the point anyway?有什么意义呢?
89You can't win.你不能赢
90You never win.你从没赢过
91Next we have the deceiver I call the misguided protector.接下来,我们有 欺骗者我叫错误的保护者。
92Your protector says things like,你的保护者说,
93whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down.慢点
94Did you think this through?你有没有想清楚?
95You don't know enough.你不够清楚
96You're not qualified.你没有资格
97You're too old, too young.你太老了 太年轻了
98You'll mess up.你会搞砸的
99Don't do it.别
100It tries to protect you from a risk of failure,它试图保护你 避免失败的风险,
101judgment, or criticism.判断或批评。
102How?怎么会?
103By keeping you paralyzed so you don't take any action让你瘫痪 这样你就不会采取任何行动
104because then you're safe, but you're also stuck.因为那时你很安全 但你也被困住了
105If your parents set high standards for you如果你的父母为你设定了高标准
106and excessively criticized you并且过分批评你,
107when you failed to meet these standards,当你没有达到这些标准,
108for example, you got an A,例如,你有一个A,
109why couldn't you get an A plus为什么你不能得到一个A+
110like your perfect cousin Julio?就像你完美的表弟朱利奥?
111You may hear it as your misguided protector up here,你可以在这里听到你被误导的守护者的声音
112which leads you to fear failure and never feel ready.这让你害怕失败 永远无法做好准备
113Second to last is the ringmaster.第二至最后是戒师.
114The ringmaster is all about productivity guilt.掌门人讲的是生产力的内疚
115If you're not familiar with the term,如果你对术语不熟悉
116it's when you have an unhealthy drive to keep working是当你有一个不健康的驱动器 继续工作
117because you feel guilty when you stop.因为你停止的时候感到内疚
118The ringmaster is very good at brainwashing you掌门人很擅长洗脑
119into believing that your worth and merit as a person相信你作为一个人的价值和功绩
120are directly correlated to how productive you are.和你的生产力直接相关
121You achieve a goal, feel no satisfaction,你实现了一个目标,感觉不满足,
122and immediately jump to the next goal,并立即跳到下一个进球,
123the unfulfilling treadmill of achievement addiction.无法完成的脚步车 成就成瘾。
124But the thing is, no matter how hard you push yourself但问题是,无论你如何努力
125or what you achieve, you will never be good enough或你的成就,你永远也不够好
126or have done enough for the ringmaster.或者已经做了足够的 指使。
127Our survey of two and a half thousand people globally我们对全球2.5万人的调查
128found an overwhelming 93% experience this guilt frequently,发现93%的人经常有这种罪恶感
129putting themselves at risk of burnout.让自己面临燃烧的危险
130Maybe you haven't met any of these deceivers yet,也许你还没有见过这些骗子
131but instead are well acquainted with this last one.却对这最后一篇很熟悉
132Closely related to the ringmaster, it's the neglector.与戒师关系密切,是疏忽者.
133When you feel insecure in your worth,当你觉得没有安全感 你的价值,
134you anticipate rejection.你将拒绝。
135So you constantly seek validation所以你不断寻求验证
136by prioritizing the needs of everyone else.通过优先考虑其他人的需要。
137If you didn't receive emotional validation as a child,如果你小时候没有得到情感验证
138or you had a parent that was hard to please,或者你有一个很难取悦的父母
139you might work really hard as an adult成年以后你可能会很努力工作
140to try and seek approval from everyone around you,尝试寻求你周围每个人的同意,
141partners, peers, coworkers, your boss.合伙人,同伴,同事,你的老板。
142And then whenever you don't receive it,然后每当你没有得到它,
143it's an automatic trigger,这是自动触发器
144and you have a conditioned need to win it back.并且你有一个条件 需要赢得它回来。
145The neglector drives you to give beyond your capacity,忽视者驱使你超越你的能力
146leaving you exhausted, drained, and overwhelmed.让你精疲力竭 疲惫不堪
147So the stakes are high.故其利害甚高.
148If you listen to these deceivers,如果你听这些骗子的话
149you buy into their narrative and give them power over you.你买进他们的叙述 并赋予他们权力 对你。
150The good news is that change is possible.好消息是改变是可能的。
151You can break free from these limits.你可以打破这些限制。
152The first step is awareness.第一步是提高认识。
153If you have a classic judge hurling judgment如果你有一个典型的法官 抛出判断
154and criticism at you for everything that you do,批评你所做的一切,
155call it out.调用它。
156Classic judge, I know you're trying to convince me经典法官 我知道你想说服我
157that I'm incompetent right now,我现在无能
158but I'm choosing not to listen.但我选择不听
159Calling it out in this way这样叫出来
160is a form of psychological distancing,是一种心理疏远的形式,
161where you're referring to this part of yourself你指的是你自己的这部分
162in the third person.在第三人称。
163We know from science that third-person self-talk我们从科学中知道第三人称自言自语
164helps you gain emotional distance from your deceiver,帮助你与你的欺骗者保持感情上的距离,
165allowing you to think with more rationality.让你更理性地思考
166If you notice your victimizer如果你注意到你的伤害者
167making you feel like you should just give up让你觉得你应该放弃
168because the world is against you,因为世界反对你,
169shift to an internal locus of control,转向内部控制中心,
170except the fact that you can choose除了你可以选择
171what you focus on at any moment.你随时关注的
172You can choose to focus on things outside of your control你可以选择专注于你无法控制的事情
173and feel powerless,并且感觉无力,
174or you control what you have control over.或者你控制你拥有的一切
175Instead of saying, look at what happened to me,而不是说,看看我发生了什么事,
176look at what they did to me,看看他们对我做了什么
177use a technique called cognitive shifting使用一种叫做认知转变的技术
178and consciously redirect your attention to,并自觉地将注意力转向,
179okay, this is what's happening in my life,好吧,这就是发生在我的生活中,
180this is where I want to be,这就是我想要的地方,
181and this is what I'm going to do about it.这就是我要做的
182Now you're speaking from a position of personal power.现在你从个人权力的角度说话
183You take responsibility for what's within your control你对自己控制的一切负责
184and choose to take action.并选择采取行动。
185What if you hear your misguided protector in your psyche如果你在你的心理中听到你错误的保护者
186trying to convince you that you'll fail试图说服你 你会失败
187so you shouldn't try at all?所以,你不应该尝试吗?
188I have my own experience with my misguided protector.我有自己的经验 与我的误导保护者。
189Chances are I wouldn't even be here我可能不会在这里
190or where I am today if I listened to it.或我今天所在的地方 如果我听它。
191Back in March of 2020,回到2020年3月时,
192when the world was suddenly in lockdowns,当世界突然被封锁的时候,
193all of our business bookings我们所有的商务预订
194were either canceled or postponed,要么被取消 要么被推迟
195and our business was dead in the water.我们的生意就死在水里
196So I was curious about experimenting所以我对实验感到好奇
197with an app called TikTok.有个叫TikTok的应用程序
198I wanted to create content我想创造内容
199and see if we could help people through that platform.看看我们能不能通过这个平台帮助人们。
200But then my protector woke up and said,但后来我的守护者醒来说,
201people will think you're ridiculous.人们会认为你很可笑
202You're way too old for that.你年纪太大了
203It's going to ruin your reputation.这会毁了你的声誉
204And I listened to my protector for two months我听了两个月的保护者的话
205until I didn't anymore.直到我不再这样
206I decided to take action instead.我决定采取行动
207I created 40 pieces of video content in one day.我一天内创造了40个视频内容.
208This way I couldn't back down for 40 days这样我40天都回不来了
209no matter what my protector said.不管我的保护者怎么说
210And you know what?你知道吗?
211All it took was 40 days to see tens of thousands只花了40天才看到数万人
212of followers start to accumulate.追随者开始积累。
213I didn't make perfection the goal.我没有让完美的目标。
214I made the process the goal.我让过程成为目标
215And nearly two years later,两年后,
216we have a million followers on that platform这个平台上有百万的追随者
217and over 2 million across all major social media platforms,和超过200万 在所有主要的社交媒体平台,
218which has been the best marketing for our business,这一直是我们企业最好的营销,
219taking us global and allowing us to help people带我们走向全球,让我们帮助人民
220all around the world.到处都是
221And none of that would have happened这一切都不会发生
222if I'd listened to my protector and stayed safe.如果我听了保护者的话 并保持安全
223So if you ever feel your protector taking over,所以如果你觉得你的保护者接管
224grab a blank sheet of paper抓一张空白的纸
225and write down all the protector's arguments.并记录所有的保护者的论点。
226Then ask, is this scenario likely to happen?那么,问,这种情景 有可能发生吗?
227What's the worst that could happen realistically?最糟糕的会发生什么?
228Take time to rationally risk assess花时间进行合理的风险评估
229and you'll likely find it's just your protector你会发现它只是你的保护者
230being overly dramatic.过于戏剧化。
231Given the protector tries to keep you safe保护者想保护你
232by keeping you stuck, the best antidote is to take action.最好的解药就是采取行动
233Don't worry about getting things right the first go.不用担心先把事情搞好
234Don't make perfection the standard.别让标准完美
235Just act, be consistent and be open to growth.行动起来,保持一贯,向增长开放。
236Make the process the goal.让过程成为目标。
237Now the ringmaster.现为戒师.
238If you feel undeserving of taking a break如果你觉得不值得休息
239and feel guilt or shame when you do,并感到内疚或羞愧 当你这样做,
240change the narrative in your head.改变你脑袋里的叙事
241Value yourself for who you are, not what you've done.珍视自己是谁,而不是你做了什么。
242Stop wearing busy as a badge of honor.别忙着戴着荣誉徽章
243Remind yourself of your qualities,提醒自己你的素质,
244the value you add to the lives of others,你给别人的生活带来的价值,
245how you make a difference, write this down.写下来 写下来
246And with this sense of empowerment,有了这种赋予权力的感觉,
247pragmatically set healthy boundaries务实地确定健康的界限
248so that you have a more balanced life.以便你们过上更加平衡的生活。
249Working hard at times is not a bad thing,有时努力工作不是坏事
250but risking burnout is counterproductive to performance.但冒着被烧死的风险,对业绩是适得其反的。
251And finally, those of you who have a loud neglector,最后,你们中那些有明显的疏忽者,
252I know what you're going through.我知道你在经历什么。
253Early in my career, my neglector was loud.职业生涯初期,我的忽视者声大.
254I would constantly over-apologize我会不断的过度道歉
255when I hadn't done anything wrong,当我没有做错什么,
256agree with people when I actually disagreed on principle,同意人们的意见,其实我不同意原则,
257avoid any possibility of conflict and would say,并会说,
258yes, of course, when I really meant no.是的,当然,当我真的意思不是。
259I was a people pleaser to the point我是一个民意喜悦的人
260of sacrificing who I truly was.牺牲我的真面目
261I gave away so much of myself我放弃了这么多自己
262in my efforts to be approved of我为批准
263that I no longer knew who I was.我不再知道我是谁。
264But you can't be limitless但你不能无穷无尽
265if you have nothing left inside to give.如果你里面没有东西可以给你
266If you have a strong neglector like I did,如果你像我一样有很强的疏忽者
267you need to overcome the codependency and acknowledge您需要克服 编码和承认
268your worth is not linked to how you think others see you.你的价值与你的看法无关
269If you let people's perception of you dictate your behavior,如果你让别人对你的看法 支配你的行为
270you will never grow as a person.你永远不会成长为一个人。
271And when you do choose to give of yourself in the future,当你选择在未来献身时
272ask, am I doing this out of compulsion for approval问,我这样做是不是出于强迫 批准
273or is it in a true spirit of service?还是真正的服务精神?
274So these are the five inner critical deceivers,这五个内在的欺骗者,
275the archetypes I've identified cross-culturally从文化角度上来说,我所发现的古老类型
276with people all around the world.与世界各地的人。
277And what's really interesting is that we've observed有趣的是,我们观察到
278that many high performers believe许多优秀的艺人相信
279that these inner deceivers are central这些内在的欺骗者是核心
280to driving their performance.驾驶他们的表演。
281While outwardly they appear successful,虽然他们表面上看起来很成功,
282allowing their core driving force to emanate允许其核心动力出现
283from the fear of failure, envy, greed,远离失败 嫉妒 贪婪
284seeking approval and status is a proven source寻求批准和身份证明是一个来源
285of unhappiness, constant stress and a lack of fulfillment.幸福、压力和缺乏满足
286What they failed to realize was that they've become trapped他们没意识到 他们被困住了
287in the obsessive prison of self.在自恋的监狱里
288My needs, my pain, my success, how people see me.我的需要,我的痛苦,我的成功, 人们如何看待我。
289So they continue to operate through a desire所以他们继续通过欲望运作
290to avoid negative states and outcomes避免消极状态和结果
291instead of being in a limitless mindset.而不是陷入无限的心态。
292It's a bad deal.交易不顺.
293Here is a better deal.这是更好的交易。
294If our reality is indeed our thoughts,如果我们的现实确实是我们的想法,
295emotions and how we uniquely experience the world,情感和我们如何独特的体验世界,
296then I invite you to acknowledge那我请你们承认
297that there is a second side to us,我们还有另一面,
298our higher nature, if you will.我们的天性,如果你愿意的话。
299One that is intrinsically motivated by a desire一个内在的动机是欲望
300to express excellence, confidence, being of service,表达卓越、自信、服务
301love, creativity, courage and justice.爱、创造力、勇气和正义
302This is the limitless aspect of our nature这是我们本性无限的一面
303that is liberated from the prison of the insistent self.从牢狱中解放出来
304And as you consistently put in the work就像你一直以来把工作放在
305to decouple from your inner deceivers,与你的内在欺骗者决裂,
306integrating the practices I've shared with daily routines将我分享的日常做法结合起来
307of meditation, journaling, prayer and reflection,以便你们记念、记念、祈祷和思维,
308I want you to remember that each one of us我要你记住我们每个人
309has the power to operate from our higher,有能力从我们的上级行动,
310our limitless nature.我们无限的本性
311The struggle to keep them at bay is a lifelong one,阻止他们的斗争是终身的
312but I promise you, as you've distanced yourself但我答应你,因为你已经疏远了自己
313from these voices, your life will begin to transform.从这些声音, 你的生活将开始改变。
314So I have a challenge for you.所以我有一个挑战给你。
315Seriously commit to reframing your relationship认真承诺重塑你们的关系
316with your inner deceivers.与你的内在欺骗者。
317Acknowledge they exist, be aware of them承认他们的存在, 了解他们
318and learn to discern between rational thought学会辨别理性的思想
319and the voices of the ego.和自我的声音。
320Your prison of self, it limits you.你的自我监狱,它限制了你。
321When you break free, your thoughts become limitless.当你打破自由, 你的思想变得无限。
322You become limitless.你变得无限。
323Thank you.谢谢
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P3 · 如何摆脱内心的自我打压,改变你的人生【TED演讲】 p03 无字幕(中英外挂) (P3)

字幕摘录

时间英文中文
0:01What if you were limitless?如果你是无限的呢?
0:03What if every single day you knew that nothing狦–ぱ常笵
0:06or no one would get you down?还是没人能把你弄下来?
0:08What if self-doubt was replaced with unshakable conviction?如果自我怀疑被不可动摇的信念所取代呢?
0:12Imagine how your life would play out over a week,想象一下你一周后的生活会怎样
0:14a month, or even a year.一个月甚至一年
0:16Imagine the snowball of momentum and confidence,想象一下 势头和信心的雪球,
0:20regardless of external setbacks.不论外部的挫折。
0:22We all know those remarkable, even obsessive people我们都知道那些了不起的, 甚至是迷恋的人
0:25that really go for it.这真的去它。
展开字幕全文(323 条)
序号英文中文
1What if you were limitless?如果你是无限的呢?
2What if every single day you knew that nothing狦–ぱ常笵
3or no one would get you down?还是没人能把你弄下来?
4What if self-doubt was replaced with unshakable conviction?如果自我怀疑被不可动摇的信念所取代呢?
5Imagine how your life would play out over a week,想象一下你一周后的生活会怎样
6a month, or even a year.一个月甚至一年
7Imagine the snowball of momentum and confidence,想象一下 势头和信心的雪球,
8regardless of external setbacks.不论外部的挫折。
9We all know those remarkable, even obsessive people我们都知道那些了不起的, 甚至是迷恋的人
10that really go for it.这真的去它。
11They truly live their potential with conviction.他们真正以信念来发挥潜力。
12What's the key difference between this tiny subset这个小子集的关键区别是什么
13of movers and shakers and a majority移动者和摇动者及多数
14with equally lofty aspirations that never really get there?有着同样崇高的愿望,却从未真正到达?
15I've had the good fortune of working with thousands我有幸和上千人合作
16of leaders at some of the most influential companies一些最有影响力的公司的领导人
17around the globe.环绕全球
18My business helps them to boost their performance,我的生意能帮助他们提升自己的表现
19and part of the process includes identifying进程的一部分包括:
20and removing obstacles that get in their way.并消除阻碍他们的障碍。
21As I engaged with more and more leaders,随着我与越来越多的领导人接触,
22I started to notice a pattern emerging我开始注意到一种模式
23among those that operated with a limited mindset在心态有限的人当中
24versus the limitless minority.与无限少数相对.
25It turns out what held back most of these otherwise原来是什么东西 挡住了大部分这些 否则
26exceptional and talented people wasn't a lack of skill,才能非凡的人不是缺乏技能,
27experience, or even resources.经验,甚至资源
28It was often rooted in a relationship with the closest它常常根植于与最亲密的
29and most influential person in their lives.他们生活中最有影响力的人
30And this person would always appear to care,这个人似乎总是在乎
31but instead would sabotage their progress and growth.反而会破坏他们的进步和成长
32You have such a person in your life too.你生命中也有这样的人
33They're much closer than what you realize他们比你知道的要近得多
34because they exist up here in your mind.因为它们存在于你的脑海里
35I am not talking imaginary friends,我不是在说想象中的朋友
36I'm talking about your inner deceiver.我说的是你的内在欺骗者
37It's that insistent voice in your head你脑子里一直有声音
38that judges you, demeans you,审判你,贬低你,
39shines a spotlight on your weaknesses.点亮你的弱点
40And because most aren't even aware of it,因为大多数人甚至不知道这一点,
41it can lead to destructive self-doubt它会导致破坏性的自我怀疑
42and even self-sabotage.乃至自毁.
43It was clear to me that the happiest,我很清楚最快乐的是
44most fulfilled, and highest performers成绩最好,表现最好
45had figured out how to subdue their inner deceiver.已经想通如何制服他们的内奸
46In fact, in the patterns I observed,事实上,在我观察到的模式中,
47there wasn't just one inner deceiver.不只是一个内在的骗子
48I identified five of the most common archetypes,我发现了五种最常用的型号
49and now I'm going to expose them to you现在我要揭发他们
50because you won't be able to subdue them因为你无法征服他们
51without first recognizing them.不首先认出他们。
52And the prerequisite to operating和操作的先决条件
53with a truly limitless mindset有着无限的心态
54is that you first need to free yourself是你们首先需要解放自己
55from their clutches.从他们的离合器。
56Let's start with the deceiver I call the classic judge.先从我叫经典法官的骗子开始
57As the name suggests, the judge likes to judge you.法官喜欢审判你
58What you did, what you didn't do,你做了什么,你没有做什么,
59what you should have done, criticizing every decision你本该做的事 批评每个决定
60and blaming you for things outside of your control.并责备你的事情 超出你的控制。
61When you ruminate on past failures当你追寻过去的失败
62with an unforgiving lens, that's not you.带着无法原谅的镜头,那不是你。
63That's the classic judge preventing you这是典型的裁判阻止你
64from learning from the past.从学习过去。
65And instead, beating you down.而不是把你打下来
66Most psychology researchers agree that these deceivers大多数心理学研究者都认为这些骗子
67begin to emerge based on the parenting you received根据你得到的养育关系开始出现
68when you were a child.当你还是个孩子的时候
69If you had a critical, controlling or demanding parent,如果你有一个批评,控制或要求的父母,
70you come to internalize this judgment你是来把判决内部化的
71and it manifests within you as an adult.它显示在你的体内 作为一个成年人。
72So you give yourself the same critical judgment.所以你给自己同样的批判。
73You develop an inability to acknowledge你无法承认
74anything positive about yourself or your performance,任何关于你或你表现的积极,
75and it's extremely damaging.它的破坏非常严重。
76The second deceiver is the victimizer.第二惑者为害者.
77She has a way of convincing you that the universe她可以说服你宇宙
78is rigged to conspire against you.是用来谋反的
79She fills your mind with excuses她给你添了借口
80and robs you of your willpower.并剥夺你的意志力。
81Conversations with the victimizer sound like,与受害者交谈 听起来像,
82see, this always happens to you.你看,这总是发生在你身上。
83Every time an opportunity comes up,每次机会出现
84somehow you get screwed over.不知怎的,你被骗了
85You're never going to be good enough for them.你永远也配不上他们
86So what do you do?那你怎么办?
87You give up.你放弃吧
88You stop trying because your victimizer reminds you,你停止尝试 因为你的牺牲者提醒你,
89what's the point anyway?有什么意义呢?
90You can't win.你不能赢
91You never win.你从没赢过
92Next we have the deceiver I call the misguided protector.接下来,我们有 欺骗者我叫错误的保护者。
93Your protector says things like,你的保护者说,
94whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down.慢点
95Did you think this through?你有没有想清楚?
96You don't know enough.你不够清楚
97You're not qualified.你没有资格
98You're too old, too young.你太老了 太年轻了
99You'll mess up.你会搞砸的
100Don't do it.别
101It tries to protect you from a risk of failure,它试图保护你 避免失败的风险,
102judgment or criticism.判断或批评。
103How?怎么会?
104By keeping you paralyzed so you don't take any action让你瘫痪 这样你就不会采取任何行动
105because then you're safe, but you're also stuck.因为那时你很安全 但你也被困住了
106If your parents set high standards for you如果你的父母为你设定了高标准
107and excessively criticized you并且过分批评你,
108when you failed to meet these standards,当你没有达到这些标准,
109for example, you got an A,例如,你有一个A,
110why couldn't you get an A plus为什么你不能得到一个A+
111like your perfect cousin Julio?就像你完美的表弟朱利奥?
112You may hear it as your misguided protector up here,你可以在这里听到你被误导的守护者的声音
113which leads you to fear failure and never feel ready.这让你害怕失败 永远无法做好准备
114Second to last is the ringmaster.第二至最后是戒师.
115The ringmaster is all about productivity guilt.掌门人讲的是生产力的内疚
116If you're not familiar with the term,如果你对术语不熟悉
117it's when you have an unhealthy drive to keep working是当你有一个不健康的驱动器 继续工作
118because you feel guilty when you stop.因为你停止的时候感到内疚
119The ringmaster is very good at brainwashing you掌门人很擅长洗脑
120into believing that your worth and merit as a person相信你作为一个人的价值和功绩
121are directly correlated to how productive you are.和你的生产力直接相关
122You achieve a goal, feel no satisfaction你达到目的,不满意
123and immediately jump to the next goal,并立即跳到下一个进球,
124the unfulfilling treadmill of achievement addiction.无法完成的脚步车 成就成瘾。
125But the thing is, no matter how hard you push yourself但问题是,无论你如何努力
126or what you achieve, you will never be good enough或你的成就,你永远也不够好
127or have done enough for the ringmaster.或者已经做了足够的 指使。
128Our survey of two and a half thousand people globally我们对全球2.5万人的调查
129found an overwhelming 93% experienced this guilt frequently,发现93%的人 经常经历这种罪责
130putting themselves at risk of burnout.让自己面临燃烧的危险
131Maybe you haven't met any of these deceivers yet,也许你还没有见过这些骗子
132but instead are well acquainted with this last one.却对这最后一篇很熟悉
133Closely related to the ringmaster, it's the neglector.与戒师关系密切,是疏忽者.
134When you feel insecure in your worth,当你觉得没有安全感 你的价值,
135you anticipate rejection.你将拒绝。
136So you constantly seek validation所以你不断寻求验证
137by prioritizing the needs of everyone else.通过优先考虑其他人的需要。
138If you didn't receive emotional validation as a child如果你小时候没有得到情感鉴定
139or you had a parent that was hard to please,或者你有一个很难取悦的父母
140you might work really hard as an adult to try你可能真的努力 作为一个成年人尝试
141and seek approval from everyone around you,并征求你周围所有人的同意,
142partners, peers, coworkers, your boss.合伙人,同伴,同事,你的老板。
143And then whenever you don't receive it,然后每当你没有得到它,
144it's an automatic trigger自动触发
145and you have a conditioned need to win it back.并且你有一个条件 需要赢得它回来。
146The neglector drives you to give beyond your capacity,忽视者驱使你超越你的能力
147leaving you exhausted, drained and overwhelmed.让你精疲力竭 精疲力竭 不堪重负
148So the stakes are high.故其利害甚高.
149If you listen to these deceivers,如果你听这些骗子的话
150you buy into their narrative and give them power over you.你买进他们的叙述 并赋予他们权力 对你。
151The good news is that change is possible.好消息是改变是可能的。
152You can break free from these limits.你可以打破这些限制。
153The first step is awareness.第一步是提高认识。
154If you have a classic judge hurling judgment如果你有一个典型的法官 抛出判断
155and criticism at you for everything that you do,批评你所做的一切,
156call it out.调用它。
157Classic judge, I know you're trying to convince me经典法官 我知道你想说服我
158that I'm incompetent right now,我现在无能
159but I'm choosing not to listen.但我选择不听
160Calling it out in this way这样叫出来
161is a form of psychological distancing是一种心理疏远的形式
162where you're referring to this part of yourself你指的是你自己的这部分
163in the third person.在第三人称。
164We know from science that third person self-talk我们从科学上知道第三人称自言自语
165helps you gain emotional distance from your deceiver,帮助你与你的欺骗者保持感情上的距离,
166allowing you to think with more rationality.让你更理性地思考
167If you notice your victimizer,如果你注意到你的伤害者,
168making you feel like you should just give up让你觉得你应该放弃
169because the world is against you,因为世界反对你,
170shift to an internal locus of control,转向内部控制中心,
171except the fact that you can choose除了你可以选择
172what you focus on at any moment.你随时关注的
173You can choose to focus on things outside of your control你可以选择专注于你无法控制的事情
174and feel powerless,并且感觉无力,
175or you control what you have control over.或者你控制你拥有的一切
176Instead of saying, look at what happened to me,而不是说,看看我发生了什么事,
177look at what they did to me,看看他们对我做了什么
178use a technique called cognitive shifting使用一种叫做认知转变的技术
179and consciously redirect your attention to,并自觉地将注意力转向,
180okay, this is what's happening in my life.好吧,这就是发生在我的生活中。
181This is where I want to be这就是我想要的地方
182and this is what I'm going to do about it.这就是我要做的
183Now you're speaking from a position of personal power.现在你从个人权力的角度说话
184You take responsibility for what's within your control你对自己控制的一切负责
185and choose to take action.并选择采取行动。
186What if you hear your misguided protector in your psyche如果你在你的心理中听到你错误的保护者
187trying to convince you that you'll fail试图说服你 你会失败
188so you shouldn't try at all?所以,你不应该尝试吗?
189I have my own experience with my misguided protector.我有自己的经验 与我的误导保护者。
190Chances are I wouldn't even be here我可能不会在这里
191or where I am today if I listened to it.或我今天所在的地方 如果我听它。
192Back in March of 2020,回到2020年3月时,
193when the world was suddenly in lockdowns,当世界突然被封锁的时候,
194all of our business bookings我们所有的商务预订
195were either canceled or postponed被取消或推迟
196and our business was dead in the water.我们的生意就死在水里
197So I was curious about experimenting所以我对实验感到好奇
198with an app called TikTok.有个叫TikTok的应用程序
199I wanted to create content我想创造内容
200and see if we could help people through that platform.看看我们能不能通过这个平台帮助人们。
201But then my protector woke up and said,但后来我的守护者醒来说,
202people will think you're ridiculous.人们会认为你很可笑
203You're way too old for that.你年纪太大了
204It's going to ruin your reputation.这会毁了你的声誉
205And I listened to my protector for two months我听了两个月的保护者的话
206until I didn't anymore.直到我不再这样
207I decided to take action instead.我决定采取行动
208I created 40 pieces of video content in one day.我一天内创造了40个视频内容.
209This way I couldn't back down for 40 days这样我40天都回不来了
210no matter what my protector said.不管我的保护者怎么说
211And you know what?你知道吗?
212All it took was 40 days to see tens of thousands只花了40天才看到数万人
213of followers start to accumulate.追随者开始积累。
214I didn't make perfection the goal.我没有让完美的目标。
215I made the process the goal.我让过程成为目标
216And nearly two years later,两年后,
217we have a million followers on that platform这个平台上有百万的追随者
218and over 2 million across all major social media platforms,和超过200万 在所有主要的社交媒体平台,
219which has been the best marketing for our business,这一直是我们企业最好的营销,
220taking us global and allowing us to help people带我们走向全球,让我们帮助人民
221all around the world.到处都是
222And none of that would have happened这一切都不会发生
223if I'd listened to my protector and stayed safe.如果我听了保护者的话 并保持安全
224So if you ever feel your protector taking over,所以如果你觉得你的保护者接管
225grab a blank sheet of paper抓一张空白的纸
226and write down all the protector's arguments.并记录所有的保护者的论点。
227Then ask, is this scenario likely to happen?那么,问,这种情景 有可能发生吗?
228What's the worst that could happen realistically?最糟糕的会发生什么?
229Take time to rationally risk assess花时间进行合理的风险评估
230and you'll likely find it's just your protector你会发现它只是你的保护者
231being overly dramatic.过于戏剧化。
232Given the protector tries to keep you safe保护者想保护你
233by keeping you stuck, the best antidote is to take action.最好的解药就是采取行动
234Don't worry about getting things right the first go.不用担心先把事情搞好
235Don't make perfection the standard.别让标准完美
236Just act, be consistent and be open to growth.行动起来,保持一贯,向增长开放。
237Make the process the goal.让过程成为目标。
238Now the ringmaster, if you feel undeserving现在的掌声,如果你觉得不值得
239of taking a break and feel guilt or shame when you do,当你休息,感到内疚或羞耻,
240change the narrative in your head.改变你脑袋里的叙事
241Value yourself for who you are, not what you've done.珍视自己是谁,而不是你做了什么。
242Stop wearing busy as a badge of honor.别忙着戴着荣誉徽章
243Remind yourself of your qualities,提醒自己你的素质,
244the value you add to the lives of others,你给别人的生活带来的价值,
245how you make a difference, write this down.写下来 写下来
246And with this sense of empowerment,有了这种赋予权力的感觉,
247pragmatically set healthy boundaries务实地确定健康的界限
248so that you have a more balanced life.以便你们过上更加平衡的生活。
249Working hard at times is not a bad thing,有时努力工作不是坏事
250but risking burnout is counterproductive to performance.但冒着被烧死的风险,对业绩是适得其反的。
251And finally, those of you who have a loud neglector,最后,你们中那些有明显的疏忽者,
252I know what you're going through.我知道你在经历什么。
253Early in my career, my neglector was loud.职业生涯初期,我的忽视者声大.
254I would constantly over-apologize我会不断的过度道歉
255when I hadn't done anything wrong,当我没有做错什么,
256agree with people when I actually disagreed on principle,同意人们的意见,其实我不同意原则,
257avoid any possibility of conflict and would say,并会说,
258yes, of course, when I really meant no.是的,当然,当我真的意思不是。
259I was a people pleaser to the point我是一个民意喜悦的人
260of sacrificing who I truly was.牺牲我的真面目
261I gave away so much of myself我放弃了这么多自己
262in my efforts to be approved of我为批准
263that I no longer knew who I was.我不再知道我是谁。
264But you can't be limitless但你不能无穷无尽
265if you have nothing left inside to give.如果你里面没有东西可以给你
266If you have a strong neglector like I did,如果你像我一样有很强的疏忽者
267you need to overcome the codependency and acknowledge您需要克服 编码和承认
268your worth is not linked to how you think others see you.你的价值与你的看法无关
269If you let people's perception of you dictate your behavior,如果你让别人对你的看法 支配你的行为
270you will never grow as a person.你永远不会成长为一个人。
271And when you do choose to give of yourself in the future,当你选择在未来献身时
272ask, am I doing this out of compulsion for approval问,我这样做是不是出于强迫 批准
273or is it in a true spirit of service?还是真正的服务精神?
274So these are the five inner critical deceivers,这五个内在的欺骗者,
275the archetypes I've identified cross-culturally从文化角度上来说,我所发现的古老类型
276with people all around the world.与世界各地的人。
277And what's really interesting is that we've observed有趣的是,我们观察到
278that many high performers believe许多优秀的艺人相信
279that these inner deceivers are central这些内在的欺骗者是核心
280to driving their performance.驾驶他们的表演。
281While outwardly they appear successful,虽然他们表面上看起来很成功,
282allowing their core driving force to emanate允许其核心动力出现
283from the fear of failure, envy, greed,远离失败 嫉妒 贪婪
284seeking approval and status is a proven source寻求批准和身份证明是一个来源
285of unhappiness, constant stress and a lack of fulfillment.幸福、压力和缺乏满足
286What they failed to realize was that they've become trapped他们没意识到 他们被困住了
287in the obsessive prison of self.在自恋的监狱里
288My needs, my pain, my success, how people see me.我的需要,我的痛苦,我的成功, 人们如何看待我。
289So they continue to operate through a desire所以他们继续通过欲望运作
290to avoid negative states and outcomes避免消极状态和结果
291instead of being in a limitless mindset.而不是陷入无限的心态。
292It's a bad deal.交易不顺.
293Here is a better deal.这是更好的交易。
294If our reality is indeed our thoughts,如果我们的现实确实是我们的想法,
295emotions and how we uniquely experience the world,情感和我们如何独特的体验世界,
296then I invite you to acknowledge那我请你们承认
297that there is a second side to us,我们还有另一面,
298our higher nature, if you will.我们的天性,如果你愿意的话。
299One that is intrinsically motivated by a desire一个内在的动机是欲望
300to express excellence, confidence, being of service,表达卓越、自信、服务
301love, creativity, courage and justice.爱、创造力、勇气和正义
302This is the limitless aspect of our nature这是我们本性无限的一面
303that is liberated from the prison of the insistent self.从牢狱中解放出来
304And as you consistently put in the work就像你一直以来把工作放在
305to decouple from your inner deceivers,与你的内在欺骗者决裂,
306integrating the practices I've shared with daily routines将我分享的日常做法结合起来
307of meditation, journaling, prayer and reflection,以便你们记念、记念、祈祷和思维,
308I want you to remember that each one of us我要你记住我们每个人
309has the power to operate from our higher,有能力从我们的上级行动,
310our limitless nature.我们无限的本性
311The struggle to keep them at bay is a lifelong one,阻止他们的斗争是终身的
312but I promise you, as you've distanced yourself但我答应你,因为你已经疏远了自己
313from these voices, your life will begin to transform.从这些声音, 你的生活将开始改变。
314So I have a challenge for you.所以我有一个挑战给你。
315Seriously commit to reframing your relationship认真承诺重塑你们的关系
316with your inner deceivers.与你的内在欺骗者。
317Acknowledge they exist, be aware of them承认他们的存在, 了解他们
318and learn to discern between rational thought学会辨别理性的思想
319and the voices of the ego.和自我的声音。
320Your prison of self, it limits you.你的自我监狱,它限制了你。
321When you break free, your thoughts become limitless.当你打破自由, 你的思想变得无限。
322You become limitless.你变得无限。
323Thank you.谢谢
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