言语：你最强大的武器【TED演讲】

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P1 · 言语：你最强大的武器【TED演讲】 p01 中英双语 (P1)

言语：你最强大的武器【TED演讲】 p01 中英双语 (P1)

发布于 2026-10-17 · 时长 20:26

字幕摘录

时间	英文	中文
0:01	I'm often asked by people, you know, how can I read people?	人们经常问我,你知道, 我怎么能读人?
0:07	How can I know if somebody's lying to me?	我怎么知道有人在骗我?
0:10	How do I elicit information from people?	我如何从人们那里得到信息?
0:13	And I'm asked this because in my previous profession, prior to working in the media,	我被问到这一点,因为在我的前一个职业, 在从事媒体工作之前,
0:20	I conducted a lot of interviews.	我做了很多采访。
0:23	I spent hundreds of hours in the interview room as a special agent.	我在采访室里做了几百小时的特务
0:28	I interviewed people that had committed some very horrible crimes.	我采访了犯下一些非常可怕罪行的人。
0:34	I interviewed people who wanted to work for the government.	我采访了想为政府工作的人。
0:38	I interviewed people who wanted to harm our country.	我采访了想伤害我们国家的人。
0:43	I interviewed people from all walks of life.	我采访了来自各行各业的人。

展开字幕全文（393 条）

序号	英文	中文
1	I'm often asked by people, you know, how can I read people?	人们经常问我,你知道, 我怎么能读人?
2	How can I know if somebody's lying to me?	我怎么知道有人在骗我?
3	How do I elicit information from people?	我如何从人们那里得到信息?
4	And I'm asked this because in my previous profession, prior to working in the media,	我被问到这一点,因为在我的前一个职业, 在从事媒体工作之前,
5	I conducted a lot of interviews.	我做了很多采访。
6	I spent hundreds of hours in the interview room as a special agent.	我在采访室里做了几百小时的特务
7	I interviewed people that had committed some very horrible crimes.	我采访了犯下一些非常可怕罪行的人。
8	I interviewed people who wanted to work for the government.	我采访了想为政府工作的人。
9	I interviewed people who wanted to harm our country.	我采访了想伤害我们国家的人。
10	I interviewed people from all walks of life.	我采访了来自各行各业的人。
11	And over the years, I learned, or rather, I discovered that there were some basic principles	这些年来,我学会了,或者说,我发现有一些基本原则
12	recurring things that I was seeing when I was speaking with people and trying to elicit information.	重复我和人们谈话时所看到的事情,
13	Because that's all I needed to do.	因为这就是我所需要的。
14	I was trying to get information out of people.	我试图从人中获取信息。
15	And at the end of the day, it all came down to communication.	到了最后,一切都开始沟通了
16	When people ask me, how do I get people to tell me, you know, what I want to know?	当人们问我,我如何让人们告诉我, 你知道,我想知道什么?
17	How do I read people?	我怎么读人?
18	They think I'm just going to pop out this checklist and be like, just follow steps one through seven,	他们认为我只是要 拿出这个清单 并一样,只是遵循步骤一到七,
19	you'll get what you want.	你会得到你想要的。
20	And it doesn't work like that.	则不效.
21	Yes, there is a science when it comes to communication.	是的,有科学 当它涉及到通信。
22	But communication is more of an art form than anything else.	但沟通比其他一切更像是艺术形式
23	Communication is what gets you to where it is you want to go.	沟通才是你想去的地方
24	Whatever that is.	随其所为.
25	I want to share those basic principles with you here today.	今天,我想与各位分享这些基本原则。
26	But most importantly, your words are what matter.	但最重要的是,你的话是最重要的。
27	We live in a world where we speak words and we don't really even think about what we're saying.	我们生活在一个我们说话的世界里,我们甚至没有真正思考我们所说的话.
28	We say things just to say them.	我们说话只是为了说
29	We tweet what we want.	我们推特上要什么。
30	We email what we want.	我们发送我们想要的邮件。
31	But we don't understand the impact of our words.	但我们不明白我们的话的影响.
32	Prior to being a special agent, I went through the New York City Police Academy.	在成为一名特工之前 我去过纽约市警察学院
33	I was a cadet.	我是一个学员。
34	And when you're in the New York City Police Academy, there's a class you have to take.	当你在纽约市警察学院时,你必须上课。
35	It's called Police Science.	名为警察科学.
36	And during one of my lectures, my lecturer, my instructor was Sergeant Corrigan.	在我讲课期间 我的讲师 我的教官是科里根中士
37	Sergeant Corrigan got up there in front of the class and he said,	科里根中士在教室前说
38	if you all go through your entire career and you never have to use your weapon,	如果你们都经过你的整个职业生涯 并且不用使用你的武器,
39	well, then by my account, you've had a great career.	好吧,那么根据我的说法, 你有一个伟大的职业生涯。
40	Because he said, this is your most powerful weapon.	因为他说这是你最强大的武器
41	This is how you get people to give you what you want.	这就是你如何让人们给你你想要的。
42	This is how you get people to comply.	这就是你如何让人们遵守。
43	Not this, this.	不是这个 是这个
44	Listen, the fundamental principle in having communication is listening.	听着 沟通的基本原则是倾听
45	And I have to tell you, we don't listen.	我必须告诉你,我们不听。
46	And when I say listen, I mean, be an active listener.	当我说听的时候,我是说,做一个积极的倾听者。
47	Half the time when you're speaking with someone, you're not even absorbing.	你和别人谈话的时候 一半的时间 你甚至没有吸收
48	We're not absorbing what they're saying.	我们不会吸收他们说的话
49	We're thinking, what am I going to say in response?	我们在想,我该怎么说呢?
50	We're thinking about, when is it my turn to speak?	我们在想,什么时候轮到我说话了?
51	We don't even let them finish sometimes.	我们甚至不让他们 完成有时。
52	And I do that on occasion.	有时我也会这么做
53	Sometimes I do to my husband.	有时我对我的丈夫。
54	And he'll say to me, you know, for someone who's a great interviewer,	他会对我说,你知道, 对于一个伟大的采访者,
55	you kind of suck at this sometimes.	你有时候会很烂
56	When I say listening, I mean, with more than just your ears.	当我说听,我的意思是, 不只是你的耳朵。
57	You have to absorb people.	你必须吸收人
58	And what does that mean?	这是什么意思?
59	You want to feel people with your mind, with your soul, with your heart.	你想用你的心灵、灵魂、心去感受人
60	What vibe are they giving you?	他们给你什么感觉?
61	And this may sound like an awkward thing, but it's not.	这听起来可能很尴尬,但不是
62	And you've all experienced it.	你们都经历过
63	You meet somebody, they introduce themselves to you.	你遇到一个人,他们会自我介绍给你
64	Within the first five minutes, you either like this person a lot.	5分钟内 你要么很喜欢这个人
65	You're like, you know what?	你就像,你知道吗?
66	I just found my BFF.	我刚刚找到我的BFF。
67	Love this person.	爱他
68	Or within those first few minutes, you say to yourself, you know what?	或者在最初几分钟内 你对自己说,你知道吗?
69	Don't like this person.	不喜欢这个人
70	I want nothing to do with them.	我不想与他们有任何关系。
71	And somebody can ask you.	有人可以问你
72	They'll say, well, why not?	他们会说,为什么不呢?
73	And you won't be able to articulate it.	你将无法表达出来。
74	You'll say, you know what?	你会说,你知道吗?
75	I just don't like them.	我只是不喜欢他们。
76	You know what?	你知道吗?
77	I'm just don't something doesn't feel right.	我只是不太对劲
78	You know what?	你知道吗?
79	They're just off.	他们刚刚离开。
80	We all have that instinct.	我们都有这种直觉。
81	And you know what?	你知道吗?
82	We don't listen to it.	我们不听它。
83	We don't sit there and think and feel and see.	我们不坐在那里思考 感受和看到。
84	When I would do interviews, I would listen to people, all of them.	当我做采访时,我会听人的话,所有的人。
85	I would never put a table between myself and another person ever.	我决不会在自己和别人之间摆桌子
86	I still don't.	我还是不知道。
87	Even now, I'm working in the media.	即使现在,我在媒体工作。
88	When I interview someone, when I talk to someone, my preference is in person.	当我采访某人时,当我和某人谈话时,我偏爱的是本人.
89	No table between us, because if there's a table between us,	我们之间没有桌子 因为如果我们之间有桌子
90	all I can see is what's going on from here and up.	我所见一切如来及上.
91	I want to see all of you.	我想见你们所有人。
92	I want to see what every part of your body is doing, because then I can understand you.	我想看看你身体的每一部分都在做什么 因为我能理解你
93	And when I can understand you, I can begin to communicate.	当我能理解你,我可以开始交流。
94	And listening also means what?	倾听也意味着什么?
95	You listen and you speak less.	你听,你说话少。
96	We have this myth where we think if we speak more,	我们有这个神话 如果我们多说话,
97	if we control the conversation, we're in control.	如果我们控制了谈话,我们就控制了。
98	And it is the exact opposite.	这是完全相反的。
99	It's the person who speaks less who's actually in control,	说得少的人才是真正控制的人
100	because you're giving it all up.	因为你放弃了一切
101	You're an open book.	你是一个开放的书。
102	Here you go.	给你
103	What do you want to know about me?	你想知道我什么吗?
104	And people love to talk, so let them.	人们喜欢说话,所以让他们。
105	Think of it this way, 80-20 rule.	这样想吧,80-20规则。
106	You listen 80% of the time, 20% of the time you speak,	你听80%的时间,20%的时间你说话,
107	especially when it's something that you need from this person,	特别是当你需要这个人帮忙的时候
108	especially when it's something that you desire, that you need to learn,	特别是当你需要学习的时候
109	because if you're talking, you're not learning anything.	因为如果你说话,你什么也学不到。
110	And having patience when people speak, and then silence.	并有耐心,当人们说话,然后沉默。
111	A lot of us don't like silence.	我们很多人不喜欢沉默
112	Sometimes you speak to people and there's a moment of silence,	有时你和别人说话,有片刻的沉默,
113	and we feel like we have to keep talking and talking.	我们觉得我们必须继续说话
114	Silence is beautiful, because when you're silent,	沉默是美丽的, 因为当你沉默,
115	you're also telling that person,	你也在跟那个人说
116	I want you to answer my question.	我要你回答我的问题
117	But when you keep speaking, you don't allow them.	但是,当你继续说话, 你不允许他们。
118	Special.	特别的
119	I love special.	我喜欢特别的。
120	I tell everyone, make people feel special.	我告诉大家 让人们觉得自己很特别
121	And they look at me like, what?	他们看着我,什么?
122	Make people feel special.	令众生觉得特别.
123	When you speak to someone,	当你和某人说话时
124	and you're looking to have a communication with someone,	你想和某人交流
125	you have to make that person feel that they are the most important person	你必须让那个人觉得 他们是最重要的人
126	that you are dealing with at that moment.	那时你正在处理。
127	It doesn't mean you do one of these, or even glance at your watch.	这并不意味着你做一个, 甚至看你的表。
128	It doesn't mean you pull out your iPhone and talk to people.	这并不意味着你拔出你的iPhone 和人交谈。
129	And we've all had that done to us, and it doesn't feel so good.	我们都这样对我们 感觉不太好
130	During my previous career, I had the privilege	之前的职业生涯,我曾有幸
131	of being around some amazing people to include world leaders and presidents.	环绕着一些令人惊奇的人 包括世界领导人和总统
132	And often I was, you know, assigned to former President Clinton,	我经常被指派到前总统克林顿
133	and I would accompany him and supplement his detail.	我会陪着他 补充他的细节
134	And I was amazed at how he mastered this.	我很惊讶他是如何掌握的。
135	He would walk into a room.	他会走进一个房间。
136	It didn't matter where we were, who he was speaking to.	不管我们在哪,他和谁说话
137	And it didn't matter what was going on in his life.	而其生平之事,亦无所不至.
138	But he would walk into a room.	但他会走进房间
139	And when he would speak to someone,	当他和别人说话时
140	he would make that person feel like there was nobody else in that room,	他会让那个人觉得 房间里没有其他人
141	but him and that person.	但是他和那个人
142	And this is the former president of the United States,	这位是美国前总统
143	a man who's quite busy.	一个很忙的人
144	And you know what else he would do?	你知道他还会怎么做吗?
145	He would ask people their name.	他会问人们他们的名字。
146	What's your name?	你叫什么来着?
147	And he would remember it.	他会记得的
148	And then halfway during the conversation,	然后在谈话中,
149	he'd mention that person by their name.	他会提到那个人的名字。
150	Because when you mention somebody by their name,	因为当你提到某个人的名字,
151	our name is our identity.	我们的名字是我们的身份。
152	That's how we identify ourselves.	这就是我们如何辨别自己。
153	We're proud of our name.	以名为荣.
154	And when you can remember somebody's name, that speaks volumes.	当你能记住某人的名字, 那会说很多。
155	That is the ultimate compliment to remember somebody's name.	这是纪念某人名字的终极赞美。
156	Earlier on, they asked you to look to each other, introduce yourself,	早些时候,他们要求你们互相看望,自我介绍,
157	ask the person next to you their name.	问旁边的人 他们的名字。
158	I bet you 80% of you don't even remember the name of that person	我打赌你们80%的人 都不记得那个人的名字了
159	you introduced yourself to.	你自我介绍。
160	Because you're not listening.	因为你没在听
161	You're not trying to make somebody else feel special.	你不是想让别人觉得特别
162	And it's OK in this environment.	在这种环境下也没关系。
163	But if it's in an environment where you're looking to try to get somewhere,	但是,如果它在一个环境 你正在寻求得到的地方,
164	it's going to hurt you.	它会伤害你的。
165	Make people feel special.	令众生觉得特别.
166	Listen to people.	听人语.
167	Be present.	在场。
168	Nobody matters more than that person across from you.	你对面的人才是最重要的
169	When I would do interviews, I would take my phone,	当我做采访, 我会拿我的手机,
170	I would put that thing away, I would take my watch off.	我会把那东西收起来,我会把表拿掉
171	Because obviously it was very important to me	因为很明显这对我很重要
172	because I was trying to get an admission or a confession.	因为我想得到一个承认或忏悔。
173	I was trying to solve a crime to get information.	我试图破案 获取信息。
174	And I wanted that person, whoever it was, to know that I had nowhere to go.	我希望那个人,无论是谁, 知道我无处可去。
175	And all that mattered in that moment was that.	那一刻最重要的就是这个。
176	Perspective.	透视.
177	When I say perspective,	我说视角时
178	I speak about in the way in which we look at people	我以我们看人的方式说
179	and the way in which we see the world.	以及我们看待世界的方式。
180	And as human beings,	作为人类,
181	I've learned in studying human behaviour and dealing with people,	我在研究人类行为和与人打交道方面学到了
182	we are all egotistical people in some way.	我们从某种意义上来说都是自私自利的人。
183	We see the world truly through our own perspective.	我们从自己的角度真正看待世界。
184	We try sometimes to see it through other people's perspective.	我们有时尝试从别人的角度来看待它.
185	But we are so subjective and so biased.	但我们如此主观和有偏见。
186	And look, we've each lived our own life.	你看,我们每个人都过自己的生活。
187	And we are a culmination of our own experiences,	我们是我们自身经验的顶点
188	of our life's experiences, and that makes us who we are.	和我们的生活经历, 这使我们是谁。
189	But when you're communicating with someone,	但是当你与某人沟通时
190	you have to take a moment	你得花点时间
191	and learn about that other person's perspective.	了解别人的观点
192	And how do you do that?	那你怎么办?
193	Well, you have to know your audience.	好吧,你必须了解你的观众。
194	You have to know who you're speaking to.	你必须知道你在跟谁说话。
195	And if you're not listening,	如果你不听的话,
196	you really don't know who you're speaking to.	你真的不知道 你在跟谁说话。
197	I was in a situation or I was on an assignment in Florida	我当时有状况,或者在佛罗里达出差
198	and we were doing in advance, as we called it,	并且我们是在提前做, 正如我们所说的,
199	and I was doing the security preparations	我在做安全准备
200	for one of the people we were protecting	为了我们保护的人之一
201	who was going to the site.	谁要去现场。
202	My responsibility was to secure the site, the event site,	我的责任是保护现场 活动现场
203	to make sure everything was safe for one of our protectees,	确保一切安全 我们的一个保护人,
204	a high-level protectee.	一个高级保护人。
205	And I had to work with other members there, staff members,	我不得不在那里和其他成员合作,工作人员,
206	people from the facility and whatnot.	设施里的人什么的
207	We had to negotiate terms.	我们必须谈判条件。
208	And of course, being that I had the security angle,	当然,因为我有安全角度,
209	I wanted everything locked up and tight.	我想把所有东西都锁紧
210	I want to know who's going in, I want to know who's going out.	欲知谁入,欲知谁出.
211	And I had to compromise on certain things	我不得不在某些事情上妥协
212	with the other entities that I was working with	与我合作的其他实体
213	because they weren't focused on the event being a success.	因为他们没有把注意力放在活动的成功上。
214	We were at one point where we were discussing something	我们当时在讨论一些事情
215	and we were trying to compromise part of the security plan.	我们试图破坏安全计划
216	When one of my counterparts came up and he said to me,	当我的一位同事来对我说
217	you're acting as if somebody's going to fly a plane	你装作有人要开飞机
218	into this building.	进入这栋大楼
219	Now, I realized in that moment he didn't know his audience	现在,我意识到在那一刻 他不知道他的观众
220	because I am from New York City.	因为我来自纽约
221	I was in the World Trade Center on September 11th.	9月11日在世贸中心.
222	I lost colleagues and a friend.	我失去了同事和一个朋友。
223	Several of my colleagues and I stayed behind	我和几位同事留下来
224	to help evacuate people, to set up a triage,	帮助疏散人员 建立分队
225	and we were caught in the collapse of the towers, both.	我们被困在塔的倒塌之中
226	By the grace of God, I was able to go home that night.	受天恩赐,当晚得以归家.
227	But in hearing him speak,	但听到他说话
228	he had damaged those lines of communication.	他破坏了这些通讯线路。
229	And although I continued to work with him	虽然我继续跟他合作
230	and stay open and receptive,	你应当开诚布公,应当听从。
231	without realizing he had sabotaged something	没想到他有破坏的东西
232	because he didn't know his audience.	因为他不认识他的观众
233	When you speak to people, you have to know your audience.	与人说话时,必须了解观众.
234	And you're not going to know your audience	你不会了解你的观众
235	if you're just seeing things from your own perspective,	如果你只是从自己的角度看待事情
236	if you're the only one who's talking,	如果你是唯一说话的人
237	and if it's just about you, because it can't be.	如果它只是关于你, 因为它不可能是。
238	When we don't have perspective, we have ignorance.	当我们没有视角,我们就会有无知.
239	And ignorance causes conflict.	而无知导致冲突。
240	It causes conflict in our relationships.	它造成我们关系中的冲突。
241	It causes conflict in our personal relationships	它导致我们个人关系中的冲突
242	with our loved ones, at work, with our colleagues.	与我们所爱的人,在工作,与我们的同事。
243	It causes conflict within societies	造成社会内部冲突
244	when one group doesn't understand another group,	当一个团体不了解另一个团体时,
245	and even causes conflicts between countries	甚至是造成国与国之间的冲突
246	because we're too busy trying to shove down	因为我们忙着推下去
247	somebody else's throat our perspective	别人的喉咙 我们的观点
248	instead of trying to listen to somebody else's.	而不是听别人的
249	And when you communicate with people,	当你与人交流时
250	the idea to enhance communication	增强交流的想法
251	is to do so in a way that that person understands,	这样做的方式 以该人理解,
252	not in the way that you understand,	不为你们所了解的,
253	but in the way that person sees the world.	但以那个人看待世界的方式
254	Self, 50% of what we discussed	自己,我们讨论的50%
255	has to do with the other person,	和另一个人有关
256	but the other 50% has to do with you.	但另外50%与你有关
257	And when I say self, I mean self-awareness.	当我说自我,我的意思是自我意识。
258	Sometimes we're not really self-aware of ourselves.	有时候我们并不真正自觉
259	We're so focused on someone else.	我们这么专注于别人。
260	And when I say self-awareness,	当我说自我意识时,
261	it means really taking stock of yourself.	意思是好好总结一下自己
262	How do you present?	你怎么介绍的?
263	And it varies.	则各异.
264	We're different people with different individuals, right?	我们是不同的人 与不同的个人,对不对?
265	We're one person at home,	我们家里只有一个人
266	one person with our husband or our wife,	一个人与我们的丈夫或妻子,
267	one person with our children, one person at work.	一个人带着孩子,一个人在工作
268	But how do you carry yourself?	但是,你如何携带自己吗?
269	If you were to see you walk into a room,	如果你看到你走进房间
270	what impression would that give you?	那会给你什么印象?
271	I always hear, you know,	我总是听到,你知道,
272	it doesn't matter what you look like on the outside.	你外表的样子不重要
273	And it doesn't in that vain perspective.	而不是从那种空洞的角度看问题。
274	But what matters is how are you put together?	但重要的是你们如何组合?
275	Because if you look the part,	因为如果你看起来这个角色,
276	then people are gonna think, you know what?	然后人们会思考,你知道吗?
277	What he or she says is relevant.	他或她说的都是相关的
278	And unfortunately, if you look disheveled,	很不幸,如果你看起来被羞辱了
279	if you look like you're a mess, no one's going to listen.	如果你看起来一团糟 没人会听
280	Because it's gonna make the assumption	因为它会让假设
281	that she doesn't know what she's talking about.	她不知道自己在说什么
282	Look at her, she didn't even iron her shirt today.	看看她 她今天连衬衫都没熨过
283	And when it comes to self,	当涉及到自己时,
284	it's not just on the aesthetic level,	这不仅仅是在美学层面,
285	but also on the level of when it comes to confidence,	在信心方面,
286	how you carry yourself, who you are.	如何携带自己,你是谁。
287	There was this study done in Ontario and Canada.	在安大略省和加拿大进行了这项研究。
288	They went to a bunch of felons,	他们去找一群罪犯
289	and they asked them, how do you pick your victims?	他们问他们,你怎么挑选你的受害人?
290	They wanted to know how do they pick their targets	他们想知道如何选择目标
291	to commit a crime on these people?	对这些人犯罪?
292	And a lot of them said, well, we look at body language.	很多人说,我们看的是身体语言。
293	We look at how people carry themselves.	我们看看人们如何携带自己。
294	If you see somebody walking up with their head held high,	如果你看到有人抬起头走来
295	taking up space, because if I take up space,	占用空间,因为如果我占用空间,
296	I'm telling you what?	我告诉你什么?
297	I'm relevant, I'm matter, I'm here.	我与此事有关,我关系重大,我在这里.
298	That's one thing.	这是一件事。
299	But if I walk and I'm closed in,	但是,如果我走和 我关闭,
300	I have my head down, maybe I'm on my iPhone all the time,	我头朝下,也许我一直在我的iPhone上,
301	I'm in my own world, what message am I sending out to you?	我在我自己的世界, 我要给你什么信息?
302	Not a bad target, she might go down easy.	目标不错,她可能很容易下山
303	But the idea was, when they sensed	但这个想法是,当他们感觉到
304	somebody could possibly be a counterpredator,	某人可能是一个反掠夺者,
305	they didn't attack.	他们没有攻击。
306	But if they sensed somebody would go down easy,	但如果他们觉得有人会轻易下山
307	an easy victim, then that changed the scenario.	一个容易的受害者, 然后这改变了情景。
308	How you carry yourself, how you portray yourself,	如何携带自己,如何描绘自己,
309	that's communication, how people see you,	这就是交流 人们怎么看你
310	how people feel you.	人们对你的感觉
311	So although you may think you're sizing people up,	所以,虽然你可能认为你 缩小人们,
312	and you are, people are sizing you up too.	你也是,人们也正在把你拉大。
313	And every time I walked into the interview room,	每次我走进面试室
314	every time I went to do an arrest or search warrant,	每次我去做 逮捕或搜查令,
315	people were sizing me up.	很多人都把我逼疯了
316	And you have to be aware of that.	你必须知道这一点。
317	Respect.	敬礼.
318	I've talked to you about communication and words	我跟你说过沟通和言语
319	and how important it is, but there are times	和它有多重要, 但有时间
320	where words are not the way to communicate.	语言不是沟通的方式
321	Sometimes our actions are the way to communicate to people.	有时我们的行动就是与人沟通的方式.
322	When I went through training, through special agent training,	当我经过训练, 通过特殊特工训练,
323	it was like my second or third day,	这就像我的第二或第三天,
324	we were in the cafeteria, it was evening, eating.	我们在食堂,是晚上,吃饭。
325	And I sat down with some of my colleagues	我和我的一些同事坐下来
326	and a couple of guys came over and they said,	和几个家伙过来 他们说,
327	you know, some of the people don't feel comfortable	你知道,有些人不觉得舒服
328	with you being here.	你在这里。
329	Some of the guys don't want you here.	有些人不希望你在这里。
330	And I remember thinking, okay, I don't understand.	我记得我想,好吧,我不明白。
331	Well, they feel that, you know, it may be physically,	嗯,他们觉得, 你知道,这可能是身体上的,
332	you're not kind of stacked up to do this job.	你可没做好这个工作
333	And I remember turned around and I said,	我记得我转过身说,
334	I don't understand.	我不懂,我不懂你说什么
335	I went through the same hiring process as everyone.	我和大家经历了同样的雇用过程
336	I qualified like everybody else.	我和别人一样有资格
337	I did everything that everybody else did.	我做了其他人做过的一切
338	You guys don't even know me.	你们根本不了解我
339	You just met me two days ago, three days ago.	你两天前刚认识我 三天前
340	I don't understand.	我不懂,我不懂你说什么
341	And I said, well, you know what?	我说,你知道吗?
342	The standards for women are lower than they are for men.	妇女的标准低于男子。
343	The standards are lower so that women can get this job.	标准较低,以便妇女能够获得这份工作。
344	So I went home that night	我当晚回家
345	and I thought about what they said.	我考虑了他们说的话
346	And what they said was true.	他们说的话是真的
347	The standards were lower so that women could get in.	标准较低,以便妇女能够进入。
348	That wasn't a lie.	这不是谎言。
349	And I felt stupid.	我觉得自己很蠢
350	I felt like a stupid girl to think	我觉得自己像个愚蠢的女孩
351	that I actually thought I belonged there.	我其实以为我属于那里。
352	I felt ashamed and embarrassed.	我感到羞愧和尴尬。
353	But then there was this other part of me	但后来我还有另一部分
354	that felt angry and rage.	愤怒和愤怒
355	And I could feel this venom coursing through my veins.	我能感觉到这毒液在我的血管里凝结
356	And lucky for me, that part of me won over.	幸运的是,我的一部分赢了。
357	Next day, I found out what the standards were for the men.	第二天,我发现了什么标准是男人。
358	And I started training.	我开始训练
359	I would train during the day	我会在白天训练
360	and then I would train at night by myself	晚上我一个人训练
361	for months, pushing and pushing.	数月,推和推。
362	And eventually it got stronger.	最终它变得更加强大。
363	But what I realized is my confidence got stronger	但我意识到 我的信心变得更强了
364	and my mental armor got stronger.	我的精神盔甲变强了
365	That part of me, because it was all mental,	我的一部分,因为这一切都是精神上的,
366	it wasn't really physical.	这不是真的物理的。
367	And I built up my mental armor.	我建立了我的精神盔甲。
368	And eventually I started competing on the same level	最后我开始在同一个级别上竞争
369	as the men in my class.	作为我班上的人
370	And even in some occasions, surpassing them.	甚至在某些场合, 超越他们。
371	I earned the respect, not through going to somebody	我赢得了尊重,不是通过去某人
372	and saying, hey, you need to respect me.	并说,嘿, 你需要尊重我。
373	I knew that that wasn't gonna work,	我知道那不会成功,
374	but I earned it through my actions.	但我通过我的行动赢得了它。
375	And I have to tell you though, not everybody respected me	我必须告诉你,不是每个人都尊重我
376	no matter how much I excelled,	无论我有多出色
377	no matter how so much I surpassed,	无论我超越了多少
378	not everybody respected me.	不是每个人都尊重我
379	And that's when I learned it wasn't my issue.	那时我得知那不是我的问题
380	It was theirs.	这是他们的。
381	That's when I learned you don't need everybody's respect.	那时我才知道你不需要别人的尊重
382	Some people's you don't need.	有些人你不需要帮助
383	First and foremost is your own, respecting yourself,	首先是你自己,尊重你自己,
384	which I acquired.	我得到了这个
385	And then knowing whose opinions of you matter	然后知道你对谁的意见很重要
386	and whose opinions of you don't.	和谁的意见 你没有。
387	When you learn to differentiate which ones matter	当你学会区分什么才是重要的
388	and which ones don't, that's when you're really free.	哪些没有,那就是你真正自由的时候。
389	I wanna finish with this.	我想结束这一切。
390	How you define yourself is your choice.	如何定义自己是你的选择。
391	How others define you is their choice,	别人如何定义你 是他们的选择,
392	is up to you to decide which definition you prefer.	由你决定你喜欢哪个定义。
393	Thank you.	谢谢

该视频共有字幕 393 条。解锁更多字幕为会员功能，请移动到 价格

P2 · 言语：你最强大的武器【TED演讲】 p02 英文字幕(注释+中文外挂) (P2)

言语：你最强大的武器【TED演讲】 p02 英文字幕(注释+中文外挂) (P2)

发布于 2026-10-17 · 时长 20:26

字幕摘录

时间	英文	中文
0:01	I'm often asked by people, you know, how can I read people?	人们经常问我,你知道, 我怎么能读人?
0:07	How can I know if somebody's lying to me?	我怎么知道有人在骗我?
0:10	How do I elicit information from people?	我如何从人们那里得到信息?
0:13	And I'm asked this because in my previous profession, prior to working in the media,	我被问到这一点,因为在我的前一个职业, 在从事媒体工作之前,
0:20	I conducted a lot of interviews.	我做了很多采访。
0:23	I spent hundreds of hours in the interview room as a special agent.	我在采访室里做了几百小时的特务
0:28	I interviewed people that had committed some very horrible crimes.	我采访了犯下一些非常可怕罪行的人。
0:34	I interviewed people who wanted to work for the government.	我采访了想为政府工作的人。
0:38	I interviewed people who wanted to harm our country.	我采访了想伤害我们国家的人。
0:43	I interviewed people from all walks of life.	我采访了来自各行各业的人。

展开字幕全文（397 条）

序号	英文	中文
1	I'm often asked by people, you know, how can I read people?	人们经常问我,你知道, 我怎么能读人?
2	How can I know if somebody's lying to me?	我怎么知道有人在骗我?
3	How do I elicit information from people?	我如何从人们那里得到信息?
4	And I'm asked this because in my previous profession, prior to working in the media,	我被问到这一点,因为在我的前一个职业, 在从事媒体工作之前,
5	I conducted a lot of interviews.	我做了很多采访。
6	I spent hundreds of hours in the interview room as a special agent.	我在采访室里做了几百小时的特务
7	I interviewed people that had committed some very horrible crimes.	我采访了犯下一些非常可怕罪行的人。
8	I interviewed people who wanted to work for the government.	我采访了想为政府工作的人。
9	I interviewed people who wanted to harm our country.	我采访了想伤害我们国家的人。
10	I interviewed people from all walks of life.	我采访了来自各行各业的人。
11	And over the years, I learned, or rather, I discovered that there were some basic principles	这些年来,我学会了,或者说,我发现有一些基本原则
12	recurring things that I was seeing when I was speaking with people and trying to elicit information.	重复我和人们谈话时所看到的事情,
13	Because that's all I needed to do.	因为这就是我所需要的。
14	I was trying to get information out of people.	我试图从人中获取信息。
15	And at the end of the day, it all came down to communication.	到了最后,一切都开始沟通了
16	When people ask me, how do I get people to tell me, you know, what I want to know?	当人们问我,我如何让人们告诉我, 你知道,我想知道什么?
17	How do I read people?	我怎么读人?
18	They think I'm just going to pop out this checklist and be like,	他们认为我只是要 拿出这个清单 并喜欢,
19	just follow steps one through seven, you'll get what you want.	沿着第一至第七步走 你会得到你想要的
20	And it doesn't work like that.	则不效.
21	Yes, there is a science when it comes to communication.	是的,有科学 当它涉及到通信。
22	But communication is more of an art form than anything else.	但沟通比其他一切更像是艺术形式
23	Communication is what gets you to where it is you want to go, whatever that is.	沟通是让你去你想去的地方 不管那是什么
24	I want to share those basic principles with you here today.	今天,我想与各位分享这些基本原则。
25	But most importantly, your words are what matter.	但最重要的是,你的话是最重要的。
26	We live in a world where we speak words and we don't really even think about what we're saying.	我们生活在一个我们说话的世界里,我们甚至没有真正思考我们所说的话.
27	We say things just to say them.	我们说话只是为了说
28	We tweet what we want.	我们推特上要什么。
29	We email what we want.	我们发送我们想要的邮件。
30	But we don't understand the impact of our words.	但我们不明白我们的话的影响.
31	Prior to being a special agent, I went through the New York City Police Academy.	在成为一名特工之前 我去过纽约市警察学院
32	I was a cadet.	我是一个学员。
33	And when you're in the New York City Police Academy, there's a class you have to take.	当你在纽约市警察学院时,你必须上课。
34	It's called Police Science.	名为警察科学.
35	And during one of my lectures, my lecturer, my instructor was Sergeant Corrigan.	在我讲课期间 我的讲师 我的教官是科里根中士
36	Sergeant Corrigan got up there in front of the class and he said,	科里根中士在教室前说
37	if you all go through your entire career and you never have to use your weapon,	如果你们都经过你的整个职业生涯 并且不用使用你的武器,
38	well, then by my account, you've had a great career.	好吧,那么根据我的说法, 你有一个伟大的职业生涯。
39	Because he said, this is your most powerful weapon.	因为他说这是你最强大的武器
40	This is how you get people to give you what you want.	这就是你如何让人们给你你想要的。
41	This is how you get people to comply.	这就是你如何让人们遵守。
42	Not this.	不是这个
43	Listen.	听着
44	The fundamental principle in having communication is listening.	沟通的基本原则是倾听。
45	And I have to tell you, we don't listen.	我必须告诉你,我们不听。
46	And when I say listen, I mean, be an active listener.	当我说听的时候,我是说,做一个积极的倾听者。
47	Half the time when you're speaking with someone, you're not even absorbing.	你和别人谈话的时候 一半的时间 你甚至没有吸收
48	We're not absorbing what they're saying.	我们不会吸收他们说的话
49	We're thinking, what am I going to say in response?	我们在想,我该怎么说呢?
50	We're thinking about, when is it my turn to speak?	我们在想,什么时候轮到我说话了?
51	We don't even let them finish sometimes.	我们甚至不让他们 完成有时。
52	And I do that on occasion.	有时我也会这么做
53	Sometimes I do to my husband.	有时我对我的丈夫。
54	And he'll say to me, you know, for someone who's a great interviewer,	他会对我说,你知道, 对于一个伟大的采访者,
55	you kind of suck at this sometimes.	你有时候会很烂
56	When I say listening, I mean, with more than just your ears.	当我说听,我的意思是, 不只是你的耳朵。
57	You have to absorb people.	你必须吸收人
58	And what does that mean?	这是什么意思?
59	You want to feel people with your mind, with your soul, with your heart.	你想用你的心灵、灵魂、心去感受人
60	What vibe are they giving you?	他们给你什么感觉?
61	And this may sound like an awkward thing, but it's not.	这听起来可能很尴尬,但不是
62	And you've all experienced it.	你们都经历过
63	You meet somebody.	你遇见一个人。
64	They introduce themselves to you.	他们介绍自己给你。
65	Within the first five minutes, you either like this person a lot.	5分钟内 你要么很喜欢这个人
66	You're like, you know what?	你就像,你知道吗?
67	I just found my BFF.	我刚刚找到我的BFF。
68	Love this person.	爱他
69	Or within those first few minutes, you say to yourself, you know what?	或者在最初几分钟内 你对自己说,你知道吗?
70	Don't like this person.	不喜欢这个人
71	I want nothing to do with them.	我不想与他们有任何关系。
72	And somebody can ask you.	有人可以问你
73	They'll say, well, why not?	他们会说,为什么不呢?
74	And you won't be able to articulate it.	你将无法表达出来。
75	You'll say, you know what?	你会说,你知道吗?
76	I just don't like them.	我只是不喜欢他们。
77	You know what?	你知道吗?
78	Something doesn't feel right.	有点不对劲
79	You know what?	你知道吗?
80	They're just off.	他们刚刚离开。
81	We all have that instinct.	我们都有这种直觉。
82	And you know what?	你知道吗?
83	We don't listen to it.	我们不听它。
84	We don't sit there and think and feel and see.	我们不坐在那里思考 感受和看到。
85	When I would do interviews, I would listen to people, all of them.	当我做采访时,我会听人的话,所有的人。
86	I would never put a table between myself and another person, ever.	我永远不会在自己和另一个人之间摆桌子
87	I still don't.	我还是不知道。
88	Even now, I'm working in the media.	即使现在,我在媒体工作。
89	When I interview someone, when I talk to someone, my preference is in person, no table between us.	当我采访某人,当我与某人交谈, 我偏爱的人, 我们之间没有桌子。
90	Because if there's a table between us, all I can see is what's going on from here and up.	因为如果我们之间有一张桌子,我只能看到这里和上面发生的事情.
91	I want to see all of you.	我想见你们所有人。
92	I want to see what every part of your body is doing.	我想知道你身体的每一部分都在做什么
93	Because then I can understand you.	因为这样我就能理解你了
94	And when I can understand you, I can begin to communicate.	当我能理解你,我可以开始交流。
95	And listening also means what?	倾听也意味着什么?
96	You listen and you speak less.	你听,你说话少。
97	We have this myth where we think if we speak more, if we can control	我们有这个神话,我们想 如果我们多说话,如果我们能控制
98	the conversation, we're in control.	谈话,我们控制。
99	And it is the exact opposite.	这是完全相反的。
100	It's the person who speaks less who's actually in control.	是人少言少语实际控制者.
101	Because you're giving it all up.	因为你放弃了一切
102	You're an open book.	你是一个开放的书。
103	Here you go.	给你
104	What do you want to know about me?	你想知道我什么吗?
105	And people love to talk.	人们喜欢说话。
106	So let them.	那就让他们去吧
107	Think of it this way, 80-20 rule.	这样想吧,80-20规则。
108	You listen 80% of the time, 20% of the time you speak.	你听80%的时间,20%的时间你说话。
109	Especially when it's something that you need from this person.	尤其是你需要这个人帮忙的时候
110	Especially when it's something that you desire, that you need to learn.	特别是当你需要学习的时候
111	Because if you're talking, you're not learning anything.	因为如果你在说话 你就什么也学不到
112	And having patience when people speak and then silence.	并有耐心 当人们说话,然后沉默。
113	A lot of us don't like silence.	我们很多人不喜欢沉默
114	Sometimes you speak to people and there's a moment of silence.	有时你和别人说话,有片刻的沉默.
115	And we feel like we have to keep talking and talking.	我们觉得我们必须继续说话
116	Silence is beautiful.	沉默是美丽的。
117	Because when you're silent, you're also telling that person,	因为当你沉默的时候 你也会告诉那个人
118	I want you to answer my question.	我要你回答我的问题
119	But when you keep speaking, you don't allow them.	但是,当你继续说话, 你不允许他们。
120	Special.	特别的
121	I love special.	我喜欢特别的。
122	I tell everyone, make people feel special.	我告诉大家 让人们觉得自己很特别
123	And they look at me like, what?	他们看着我,什么?
124	Make people feel special.	令众生觉得特别.
125	When you speak to someone and you're looking to have a communication	当你和某人说话,你想要有一个沟通
126	with someone, you have to make that person feel	和某人,你必须让那个人感觉
127	that they are the most important person that you are dealing with	他们是你处理的最重要的人
128	at that moment.	此时此刻
129	Doesn't mean you do one of these or even glance at your watch.	这并不意味着你做一个 甚至看你的表。
130	Doesn't mean you pull out your iPhone and talk to people.	也不代表你拿出你的iPhone 和别人说话。
131	And we've all had that done to us.	我们都做过这种事
132	And it doesn't feel so good.	亦不觉如此.
133	During my previous career, I had the privilege of being around	在我之前的职业生涯中 我有幸在身边
134	some amazing people to include world leaders and presidents.	一些令人惊奇的人 包括世界领袖和总统。
135	And often, I was assigned to former President Clinton.	我经常被指派给前总统克林顿。
136	And I would accompany him and supplement his detail.	我会陪他 补充他的细节
137	And I was amazed at how he mastered this.	我很惊讶他是如何掌握的。
138	He would walk into a room.	他会走进一个房间。
139	It didn't matter where we were or who he was speaking to.	我们在哪和他说话不重要
140	And it didn't matter what was going on in his life.	而其生平之事,亦无所不至.
141	But he would walk into a room.	但他会走进房间
142	And when he would speak to someone, he would make that person feel	当他和别人说话时 他会让那个人觉得
143	like there was nobody else in that room but him and that person.	就像那个房间里除了他和那个人 其他人都没有
144	And this is the former president of the United States,	这位是美国前总统
145	a man who's quite busy.	一个很忙的人
146	And you know what else he would do?	你知道他还会怎么做吗?
147	He would ask people their name.	他会问人们他们的名字。
148	What's your name?	你叫什么来着?
149	And he would remember it.	他会记得的
150	And then halfway during the conversation,	然后在谈话中,
151	he mentioned that person by their name.	他提到那个人的名字。
152	Because when you mention somebody by their name,	因为当你提到某个人的名字,
153	our name is our identity.	我们的名字是我们的身份。
154	That's how we identify ourselves.	这就是我们如何辨别自己。
155	We're proud of our name.	以名为荣.
156	And when you can remember somebody's name, that speaks volumes.	当你能记住某人的名字, 那会说很多。
157	That is the ultimate compliment to remember somebody's name.	这是纪念某人名字的终极赞美。
158	Earlier on, they asked you to look to each other, introduce yourself,	早些时候,他们要求你们互相看望,自我介绍,
159	ask the person next to you their name.	问旁边的人 他们的名字。
160	I bet you 80% of you don't even remember the name of that person	我打赌你们80%的人 都不记得那个人的名字了
161	you introduced yourself to.	你自我介绍。
162	Because you're not listening.	因为你没在听
163	You're not trying to make somebody else feel special.	你不是想让别人觉得特别
164	And it's OK in this environment.	在这种环境下也没关系。
165	But if it's in an environment where you're looking to try to get somewhere,	但是,如果它在一个环境 你正在寻求得到的地方,
166	it's going to hurt you.	它会伤害你的。
167	Make people feel special.	令众生觉得特别.
168	Listen to people.	听人语.
169	Be present.	在场。
170	Nobody matters more than that person across from you.	你对面的人才是最重要的
171	When I would do interviews, I would take my phone.	当我做采访时,我会拿我的电话。
172	I would put that thing away.	我会把那东西收起来的
173	I would take my watch off.	我会把表拿掉
174	Because obviously, it was very important to me	因为很明显,这对我很重要
175	because I was trying to get an admission or confession.	因为我试图得到一个承认或忏悔。
176	I was trying to solve a crime to get information.	我试图破案 获取信息。
177	And I wanted that person, whoever it was, to know that I had nowhere to go.	我希望那个人,无论是谁, 知道我无处可去。
178	And all that mattered in that moment was that perspective.	那一刻最重要的就是这个观点。
179	When I say perspective,	我说视角时
180	I speak about in the way in which we look at people	我以我们看人的方式说
181	and the way in which we see the world.	以及我们看待世界的方式。
182	And as human beings,	作为人类,
183	I've learned in studying human behavior and dealing with people,	我在研究人类行为和与人打交道方面学到了
184	we are all egotistical people in some way.	我们从某种意义上来说都是自私自利的人。
185	We see the world truly through our own perspective.	我们从自己的角度真正看待世界。
186	We try sometimes to see it through other people's perspective.	我们有时尝试从别人的角度来看待它.
187	But we are so subjective and so biased.	但我们如此主观和有偏见。
188	And look, we've each lived our own life.	你看,我们每个人都过自己的生活。
189	And we are a culmination of our own experiences,	我们是我们自身经验的顶点
190	of our life's experiences.	我们的生活经历。
191	And that makes us who we are.	这让我们成为了我们
192	But when you're communicating with someone,	但是当你与某人沟通时
193	you have to take a moment	你得花点时间
194	and learn about that other person's perspective.	了解别人的观点
195	And how do you do that?	那你怎么办?
196	Well, you have to know your audience.	好吧,你必须了解你的观众。
197	You have to know who you're speaking to.	你必须知道你在跟谁说话。
198	And if you're not listening,	如果你不听的话,
199	you really don't know who you're speaking to.	你真的不知道 你在跟谁说话。
200	I was in this situation or I was on an assignment in Florida,	我身处这种境地 或者我在佛罗里达州执行任务
201	and we were doing in advance, as we called it.	而我们是在预先行动,就像我们所说的。
202	And I was doing the security preparations	我在做安全准备
203	for one of the people we were protecting	为了我们保护的人之一
204	who was going to the site.	谁要去现场。
205	And my responsibility was to secure the site,	我的责任是保护现场
206	the event site, to make sure everything was safe	活动现场,确保一切安全
207	for one of our protectees, a high-level protectee.	我们的一位保护人 一个高级保护人
208	And I had to work with other members there,	我不得不在那里与其他成员合作,
209	staff members, people from the facility and whatnot.	工作人员 设施里的人什么的
210	We had to negotiate terms.	我们必须谈判条件。
211	And of course, being that I had the security angle,	当然,因为我有安全角度,
212	I wanted everything locked up and tight.	我想把所有东西都锁紧
213	I want to know who's going in, I want to know who's going out.	欲知谁入,欲知谁出.
214	And I had to compromise on certain things	我不得不在某些事情上妥协
215	with the other entities that I was working with	与我合作的其他实体
216	because they weren't focused on the event being a success.	因为他们没有把注意力放在活动的成功上。
217	We were at one point where we were discussing something,	我们在讨论一些事情
218	and we were trying to compromise a part of the security plan.	我们试图破坏安全计划的一部分
219	When one of my counterparts came up and he said to me,	当我的一位同事来对我说
220	you're acting as if somebody's going to fly	你表现得好像有人要飞了
221	a plane into this building.	飞机飞进这栋大楼
222	Now, I realized in that moment he didn't know his audience	现在,我意识到在那一刻 他不知道他的观众
223	because I am from New York City.	因为我来自纽约
224	I was in the World Trade Center on September 11th.	9月11日在世贸中心.
225	I lost colleagues and a friend.	我失去了同事和一个朋友。
226	Several of my colleagues and I stayed behind to help	我和几个同事留下来帮忙
227	evacuate people, to set up a triage,	疏散人员,建立分队,
228	and we were caught in the collapse of the towers, both.	我们被困在塔的倒塌之中
229	By the grace of God, I was able to go home that night.	受天恩赐,当晚得以归家.
230	But in hearing him speak,	但听到他说话
231	he had damaged those lines of communication.	他破坏了这些通讯线路。
232	And although I continued to work with him	虽然我继续跟他合作
233	and stay open and receptive,	你应当开诚布公,应当听从。
234	without realizing he had sabotaged something	没想到他有破坏的东西
235	because he didn't know his audience.	因为他不认识他的观众
236	When you speak to people, you have to know your audience.	与人说话时,必须了解观众.
237	And you're not going to know your audience	你不会了解你的观众
238	if you're just seeing things from your own perspective,	如果你只是从自己的角度看待事情
239	if you're the only one who's talking,	如果你是唯一说话的人
240	and if it's just about you, because it can't be.	如果它只是关于你, 因为它不可能是。
241	When we don't have perspective, we have ignorance.	当我们没有视角,我们就会有无知.
242	And ignorance causes conflict.	而无知导致冲突。
243	Causes conflict in our relationships.	造成我们关系中的冲突。
244	It causes conflict in our personal relationships	它导致我们个人关系中的冲突
245	with our loved ones, at work, with our colleagues.	与我们所爱的人,在工作,与我们的同事。
246	It causes conflict within societies	造成社会内部冲突
247	when one group doesn't understand another group,	当一个团体不了解另一个团体时,
248	and even causes conflicts between countries.	甚至是造成国与国之间的冲突。
249	Because we're too busy trying to shove down	因为我们忙着推下去
250	somebody else's throat our perspective	别人的喉咙 我们的观点
251	instead of trying to listen to somebody else's.	而不是听别人的
252	And when you communicate with people,	当你与人交流时
253	the idea to enhance communication	增强交流的想法
254	is to do so in a way that that person understands.	以他能理解的方式这样做
255	Not in the way that you understand,	不是以你理解的方式,
256	but in the way that person sees the world.	但以那个人看待世界的方式
257	Self.	自己来
258	50% of what we discussed has to do with the other person,	我们讨论的50% 与对方有关
259	but the other 50% has to do with you.	但另外50%与你有关
260	And when I say self, I mean self-awareness.	当我说自我,我的意思是自我意识。
261	Sometimes we're not really self-aware of ourselves.	有时候我们并不真正自觉
262	We're so focused on someone else.	我们这么专注于别人。
263	And when I say self-awareness,	当我说自我意识时,
264	it means really taking stock of yourself.	意思是好好总结一下自己
265	How do you present?	你怎么介绍的?
266	And it varies.	则各异.
267	We're different people with different individuals, right?	我们是不同的人 与不同的个人,对不对?
268	We're one person at home,	我们家里只有一个人
269	one person with our husband or our wife,	一个人与我们的丈夫或妻子,
270	one person with our children, one person at work.	一个人带着孩子,一个人在工作
271	But how do you carry yourself?	但是,你如何携带自己吗?
272	If you were to see you walk into a room,	如果你看到你走进房间
273	what impression would that give you?	那会给你什么印象?
274	I always hear, you know,	我总是听到,你知道,
275	it doesn't matter what you look like on the outside.	你外表的样子不重要
276	And it doesn't in that vain perspective.	而不是从那种空洞的角度看问题。
277	But what matters is how are you put together?	但重要的是你们如何组合?
278	Because if you look the part,	因为如果你看起来这个角色,
279	then people are going to think, you know what?	然后人们会思考,你知道吗?
280	What he or she says is relevant.	他或她说的都是相关的
281	And unfortunately, if you look disheveled,	很不幸,如果你看起来被羞辱了
282	if you look like you're a mess, no one's going to listen.	如果你看起来一团糟 没人会听
283	Because it's going to make the assumption	因为它会做出这个假设
284	that she doesn't know what she's talking about.	她不知道自己在说什么
285	Look at her, she didn't even iron her shirt today.	看看她 她今天连衬衫都没熨过
286	And when it comes to self,	当涉及到自己时,
287	it's not just on the aesthetic level,	这不仅仅是在美学层面,
288	but also on the level of when it comes to confidence.	在信心的层面上
289	How you carry yourself, who you are.	如何携带自己,你是谁。
290	There was this study done in Ontario and Canada.	在安大略省和加拿大进行了这项研究。
291	They went to a bunch of felons.	他们去找一群罪犯
292	And they asked them, how do you pick your victims?	他们问他们,你怎么挑选你的受害人?
293	They wanted to know how do they pick their targets	他们想知道如何选择目标
294	to commit a crime on these people?	对这些人犯罪?
295	And a lot of them said, well, we look at body language.	很多人说,我们看的是身体语言。
296	We look at how people carry themselves.	我们看看人们如何携带自己。
297	If you see somebody walking up with their head held high,	如果你看到有人抬起头走来
298	taking up space, because if I take up space,	占用空间,因为如果我占用空间,
299	I'm telling you what?	我告诉你什么?
300	I'm relevant, I'm matter, I'm here.	我与此事有关,我关系重大,我在这里.
301	That's one thing.	这是一件事。
302	But if I walk and I'm closed in, I have my head down,	但是,如果我走和 我关闭,我有我的头下来,
303	maybe I'm on my iPhone all the time, I'm in my own world.	可能我一直在用iPhone, 我在我自己的世界。
304	What message am I sending out to you?	我向你们传达什么信息?
305	Not a bad target, she might go down easy.	目标不错,她可能很容易下山
306	But the idea was, when they sensed	但这个想法是,当他们感觉到
307	that somebody could possibly be a counterpredator,	某人可能是一个反掠夺者,
308	they didn't attack.	他们没有攻击。
309	But if they sensed somebody would go down easy,	但如果他们觉得有人会轻易下山
310	an easy victim, then that changed the scenario.	一个容易的受害者, 然后这改变了情景。
311	How you carry yourself, how you portray yourself,	如何携带自己,如何描绘自己,
312	that's communication.	这是交流。
313	How people see you, how people feel you.	人们怎么看你, 人们怎么看你。
314	So although you may think you're sizing people up,	所以,虽然你可能认为你 缩小人们,
315	and you are, people are sizing you up too.	你也是,人们也正在把你拉大。
316	And every time I walked into the interview room,	每次我走进面试室
317	every time I went to do an arrest or search warrant,	每次我去做 逮捕或搜查令,
318	people were sizing me up.	很多人都把我逼疯了
319	And you have to be aware of that.	你必须知道这一点。
320	Respect.	敬礼.
321	I've talked to you about communication and words	我跟你说过沟通和言语
322	and how important it is.	以及这有多重要。
323	But there are times where words	但有时有的话
324	are not the way to communicate.	不是沟通的方式。
325	Sometimes our actions are the way to communicate to people.	有时我们的行动就是与人沟通的方式.
326	When I went through training, through special agent training,	当我经过训练, 通过特殊特工训练,
327	it was like my second or third day,	这就像我的第二或第三天,
328	we were in the cafeteria, it was evening, eating.	我们在食堂,是晚上,吃饭。
329	And I sat down with some of my colleagues	我和我的一些同事坐下来
330	and a couple of guys came over and they said,	和几个家伙过来 他们说,
331	you know, some of the people don't feel comfortable	你知道,有些人不觉得舒服
332	with you being here.	你在这里。
333	Some of the guys don't want you here.	有些人不希望你在这里。
334	And I remember thinking, okay, I don't understand.	我记得我想,好吧,我不明白。
335	Well, they feel that, you know, it may be physically,	嗯,他们觉得, 你知道,这可能是身体上的,
336	you're not kind of stacked up to do this job.	你可没做好这个工作
337	And I remember turned around and I said,	我记得我转过身说,
338	I don't understand.	我不懂,我不懂你说什么
339	I went through the same hiring process as everyone.	我和大家经历了同样的雇用过程
340	I qualified like everybody else.	我和别人一样有资格
341	I did everything that everybody else did.	我做了其他人做过的一切
342	You guys don't even know me.	你们根本不了解我
343	You just met me two days ago, three days ago.	你两天前刚认识我 三天前
344	I don't understand.	我不懂,我不懂你说什么
345	And I said, well, you know what?	我说,你知道吗?
346	The standards for women are lower than they are for men.	妇女的标准低于男子。
347	The standards are lower so that women can get this job.	标准较低,以便妇女能够获得这份工作。
348	So I went home that night	我当晚回家
349	and I thought about what they said.	我考虑了他们说的话
350	And what they said was true.	他们说的话是真的
351	The standards were lower so that women could get in.	标准较低,以便妇女能够进入。
352	That wasn't a lie.	这不是谎言。
353	And I felt stupid.	我觉得自己很蠢
354	I felt like a stupid girl to think	我觉得自己像个愚蠢的女孩
355	that I actually thought I belonged there.	我其实以为我属于那里。
356	I felt ashamed and embarrassed.	我感到羞愧和尴尬。
357	But then there was this other part of me	但后来我还有另一部分
358	that felt angry and rage.	愤怒和愤怒
359	And I could feel this venom coursing through my veins.	我能感觉到这毒液在我的血管里凝结
360	And lucky for me, that part of me won over.	幸运的是,我的一部分赢了。
361	Next day, I found out what the standards were for the men	第二天,我发现男人的标准是什么
362	and I started training.	我开始训练
363	I would train during the day	我会在白天训练
364	and then I would train at night by myself for months,	然后我晚上一个人训练几个月
365	pushing and pushing.	推动和推动。
366	And eventually it got stronger.	最终它变得更加强大。
367	But what I realized is my confidence got stronger	但我意识到 我的信心变得更强了
368	and my mental armor got stronger.	我的精神盔甲变强了
369	That part of me, because it was all mental,	我的一部分,因为这一切都是精神上的,
370	it wasn't really physical.	这不是真的物理的。
371	And I built up my mental armor	我建立了我的精神盔甲
372	and eventually I started competing on the same level	最后我开始在同一级别上竞争
373	as the men in my class.	作为我班上的人
374	And even in some occasions, surpassing them.	甚至在某些场合, 超越他们。
375	I earned the respect.	我赢得了尊重。
376	Not through going to somebody and saying,	不是通过去某人说,
377	hey, you need to respect me.	嘿,你必须尊重我。
378	I knew that that wasn't gonna work,	我知道那不会成功,
379	but I earned it through my actions.	但我通过我的行动赢得了它。
380	And I have to tell you though, not everybody respected me	我必须告诉你,不是每个人都尊重我
381	no matter how much I excelled,	无论我有多出色
382	no matter how so much I surpassed,	无论我超越了多少
383	not everybody respected me.	不是每个人都尊重我
384	And that's when I learned it wasn't my issue, it was theirs.	那时我得知这不关我的事 是他们的事
385	That's when I learned you don't need everybody's respect.	那时我才知道你不需要别人的尊重
386	Some people's you don't need.	有些人你不需要帮助
387	First and foremost is your own.	首先是你自己的
388	Respecting yourself, which I acquired.	尊重自己,我得到了这一点。
389	And then knowing whose opinions of you matter	然后知道你对谁的意见很重要
390	and whose opinions of you don't.	和谁的意见 你没有。
391	When you learn to differentiate which ones matter	当你学会区分什么才是重要的
392	and which ones don't, that's when you're really free.	哪些没有,那就是你真正自由的时候。
393	I wanna finish with this.	我想结束这一切。
394	How you define yourself is your choice.	如何定义自己是你的选择。
395	How others define you is their choice.	别人如何定义你 是他们的选择。
396	It is up to you to decide which definition you prefer.	由你决定你喜欢哪个定义
397	Thank you.	谢谢

该视频共有字幕 397 条。解锁更多字幕为会员功能，请移动到 价格

P3 · 言语：你最强大的武器【TED演讲】 p03 无字幕(中英外挂) (P3)

言语：你最强大的武器【TED演讲】 p03 无字幕(中英外挂) (P3)

发布于 2026-10-17 · 时长 20:26

字幕摘录

时间	英文	中文
0:01	I'm often asked by people, you know, how can I read people?	人们经常问我,你知道, 我怎么能读人?
0:07	How can I know if somebody's lying to me?	我怎么知道有人在骗我?
0:10	How do I elicit information from people?	我如何从人们那里得到信息?
0:13	And I'm asked this because in my previous profession, prior to working in the media,	我被问到这一点,因为在我的前一个职业, 在从事媒体工作之前,
0:20	I conducted a lot of interviews.	我做了很多采访。
0:23	I spent hundreds of hours in the interview room as a special agent.	我在采访室里做了几百小时的特务
0:28	I interviewed people that had committed some very horrible crimes.	我采访了犯下一些非常可怕罪行的人。
0:34	I interviewed people who wanted to work for the government.	我采访了想为政府工作的人。
0:38	I interviewed people who wanted to harm our country.	我采访了想伤害我们国家的人。
0:43	I interviewed people from all walks of life.	我采访了来自各行各业的人。

展开字幕全文（393 条）

序号	英文	中文
1	I'm often asked by people, you know, how can I read people?	人们经常问我,你知道, 我怎么能读人?
2	How can I know if somebody's lying to me?	我怎么知道有人在骗我?
3	How do I elicit information from people?	我如何从人们那里得到信息?
4	And I'm asked this because in my previous profession, prior to working in the media,	我被问到这一点,因为在我的前一个职业, 在从事媒体工作之前,
5	I conducted a lot of interviews.	我做了很多采访。
6	I spent hundreds of hours in the interview room as a special agent.	我在采访室里做了几百小时的特务
7	I interviewed people that had committed some very horrible crimes.	我采访了犯下一些非常可怕罪行的人。
8	I interviewed people who wanted to work for the government.	我采访了想为政府工作的人。
9	I interviewed people who wanted to harm our country.	我采访了想伤害我们国家的人。
10	I interviewed people from all walks of life.	我采访了来自各行各业的人。
11	And over the years, I learned, or rather, I discovered that there were some basic principles	这些年来,我学会了,或者说,我发现有一些基本原则
12	recurring things that I was seeing when I was speaking with people and trying to elicit information.	重复我和人们谈话时所看到的事情,
13	Because that's all I needed to do.	因为这就是我所需要的。
14	I was trying to get information out of people.	我试图从人中获取信息。
15	And at the end of the day, it all came down to communication.	到了最后,一切都开始沟通了
16	When people ask me, how do I get people to tell me, you know, what I want to know?	当人们问我,我如何让人们告诉我, 你知道,我想知道什么?
17	How do I read people?	我怎么读人?
18	They think I'm just going to pop out this checklist and be like, just follow steps one through seven,	他们认为我只是要 拿出这个清单 并一样,只是遵循步骤一到七,
19	you'll get what you want.	你会得到你想要的。
20	And it doesn't work like that.	则不效.
21	Yes, there is a science when it comes to communication.	是的,有科学 当它涉及到通信。
22	But communication is more of an art form than anything else.	但沟通比其他一切更像是艺术形式
23	Communication is what gets you to where it is you want to go.	沟通才是你想去的地方
24	Whatever that is.	随其所为.
25	I want to share those basic principles with you here today.	今天,我想与各位分享这些基本原则。
26	But most importantly, your words are what matter.	但最重要的是,你的话是最重要的。
27	We live in a world where we speak words and we don't really even think about what we're saying.	我们生活在一个我们说话的世界里,我们甚至没有真正思考我们所说的话.
28	We say things just to say them.	我们说话只是为了说
29	We tweet what we want.	我们推特上要什么。
30	We email what we want.	我们发送我们想要的邮件。
31	But we don't understand the impact of our words.	但我们不明白我们的话的影响.
32	Prior to being a special agent, I went through the New York City Police Academy.	在成为一名特工之前 我去过纽约市警察学院
33	I was a cadet.	我是一个学员。
34	And when you're in the New York City Police Academy, there's a class you have to take.	当你在纽约市警察学院时,你必须上课。
35	It's called Police Science.	名为警察科学.
36	And during one of my lectures, my lecturer, my instructor was Sergeant Corrigan.	在我讲课期间 我的讲师 我的教官是科里根中士
37	Sergeant Corrigan got up there in front of the class and he said,	科里根中士在教室前说
38	if you all go through your entire career and you never have to use your weapon,	如果你们都经过你的整个职业生涯 并且不用使用你的武器,
39	well, then by my account, you've had a great career.	好吧,那么根据我的说法, 你有一个伟大的职业生涯。
40	Because he said, this is your most powerful weapon.	因为他说这是你最强大的武器
41	This is how you get people to give you what you want.	这就是你如何让人们给你你想要的。
42	This is how you get people to comply.	这就是你如何让人们遵守。
43	Not this, this.	不是这个 是这个
44	Listen, the fundamental principle in having communication is listening.	听着 沟通的基本原则是倾听
45	And I have to tell you, we don't listen.	我必须告诉你,我们不听。
46	And when I say listen, I mean, be an active listener.	当我说听的时候,我是说,做一个积极的倾听者。
47	Half the time when you're speaking with someone, you're not even absorbing.	你和别人谈话的时候 一半的时间 你甚至没有吸收
48	We're not absorbing what they're saying.	我们不会吸收他们说的话
49	We're thinking, what am I going to say in response?	我们在想,我该怎么说呢?
50	We're thinking about, when is it my turn to speak?	我们在想,什么时候轮到我说话了?
51	We don't even let them finish sometimes.	我们甚至不让他们 完成有时。
52	And I do that on occasion.	有时我也会这么做
53	Sometimes I do to my husband.	有时我对我的丈夫。
54	And he'll say to me, you know, for someone who's a great interviewer,	他会对我说,你知道, 对于一个伟大的采访者,
55	you kind of suck at this sometimes.	你有时候会很烂
56	When I say listening, I mean, with more than just your ears.	当我说听,我的意思是, 不只是你的耳朵。
57	You have to absorb people.	你必须吸收人
58	And what does that mean?	这是什么意思?
59	You want to feel people with your mind, with your soul, with your heart.	你想用你的心灵、灵魂、心去感受人
60	What vibe are they giving you?	他们给你什么感觉?
61	And this may sound like an awkward thing, but it's not.	这听起来可能很尴尬,但不是
62	And you've all experienced it.	你们都经历过
63	You meet somebody, they introduce themselves to you.	你遇到一个人,他们会自我介绍给你
64	Within the first five minutes, you either like this person a lot.	5分钟内 你要么很喜欢这个人
65	You're like, you know what?	你就像,你知道吗?
66	I just found my BFF.	我刚刚找到我的BFF。
67	Love this person.	爱他
68	Or within those first few minutes, you say to yourself, you know what?	或者在最初几分钟内 你对自己说,你知道吗?
69	Don't like this person.	不喜欢这个人
70	I want nothing to do with them.	我不想与他们有任何关系。
71	And somebody can ask you.	有人可以问你
72	They'll say, well, why not?	他们会说,为什么不呢?
73	And you won't be able to articulate it.	你将无法表达出来。
74	You'll say, you know what?	你会说,你知道吗?
75	I just don't like them.	我只是不喜欢他们。
76	You know what?	你知道吗?
77	I'm just don't something doesn't feel right.	我只是不太对劲
78	You know what?	你知道吗?
79	They're just off.	他们刚刚离开。
80	We all have that instinct.	我们都有这种直觉。
81	And you know what?	你知道吗?
82	We don't listen to it.	我们不听它。
83	We don't sit there and think and feel and see.	我们不坐在那里思考 感受和看到。
84	When I would do interviews, I would listen to people, all of them.	当我做采访时,我会听人的话,所有的人。
85	I would never put a table between myself and another person ever.	我决不会在自己和别人之间摆桌子
86	I still don't.	我还是不知道。
87	Even now, I'm working in the media.	即使现在,我在媒体工作。
88	When I interview someone, when I talk to someone, my preference is in person.	当我采访某人时,当我和某人谈话时,我偏爱的是本人.
89	No table between us, because if there's a table between us,	我们之间没有桌子 因为如果我们之间有桌子
90	all I can see is what's going on from here and up.	我所见一切如来及上.
91	I want to see all of you.	我想见你们所有人。
92	I want to see what every part of your body is doing, because then I can understand you.	我想看看你身体的每一部分都在做什么 因为我能理解你
93	And when I can understand you, I can begin to communicate.	当我能理解你,我可以开始交流。
94	And listening also means what?	倾听也意味着什么?
95	You listen and you speak less.	你听,你说话少。
96	We have this myth where we think if we speak more,	我们有这个神话 如果我们多说话,
97	if we control the conversation, we're in control.	如果我们控制了谈话,我们就控制了。
98	And it is the exact opposite.	这是完全相反的。
99	It's the person who speaks less who's actually in control,	说得少的人才是真正控制的人
100	because you're giving it all up.	因为你放弃了一切
101	You're an open book.	你是一个开放的书。
102	Here you go.	给你
103	What do you want to know about me?	你想知道我什么吗?
104	And people love to talk, so let them.	人们喜欢说话,所以让他们。
105	Think of it this way, 80-20 rule.	这样想吧,80-20规则。
106	You listen 80% of the time, 20% of the time you speak,	你听80%的时间,20%的时间你说话,
107	especially when it's something that you need from this person,	特别是当你需要这个人帮忙的时候
108	especially when it's something that you desire, that you need to learn,	特别是当你需要学习的时候
109	because if you're talking, you're not learning anything.	因为如果你说话,你什么也学不到。
110	And having patience when people speak, and then silence.	并有耐心,当人们说话,然后沉默。
111	A lot of us don't like silence.	我们很多人不喜欢沉默
112	Sometimes you speak to people and there's a moment of silence,	有时你和别人说话,有片刻的沉默,
113	and we feel like we have to keep talking and talking.	我们觉得我们必须继续说话
114	Silence is beautiful, because when you're silent,	沉默是美丽的, 因为当你沉默,
115	you're also telling that person,	你也在跟那个人说
116	I want you to answer my question.	我要你回答我的问题
117	But when you keep speaking, you don't allow them.	但是,当你继续说话, 你不允许他们。
118	Special.	特别的
119	I love special.	我喜欢特别的。
120	I tell everyone, make people feel special.	我告诉大家 让人们觉得自己很特别
121	And they look at me like, what?	他们看着我,什么?
122	Make people feel special.	令众生觉得特别.
123	When you speak to someone,	当你和某人说话时
124	and you're looking to have a communication with someone,	你想和某人交流
125	you have to make that person feel that they are the most important person	你必须让那个人觉得 他们是最重要的人
126	that you are dealing with at that moment.	那时你正在处理。
127	It doesn't mean you do one of these, or even glance at your watch.	这并不意味着你做一个, 甚至看你的表。
128	It doesn't mean you pull out your iPhone and talk to people.	这并不意味着你拔出你的iPhone 和人交谈。
129	And we've all had that done to us, and it doesn't feel so good.	我们都这样对我们 感觉不太好
130	During my previous career, I had the privilege	之前的职业生涯,我曾有幸
131	of being around some amazing people to include world leaders and presidents.	环绕着一些令人惊奇的人 包括世界领导人和总统
132	And often I was, you know, assigned to former President Clinton,	我经常被指派到前总统克林顿
133	and I would accompany him and supplement his detail.	我会陪着他 补充他的细节
134	And I was amazed at how he mastered this.	我很惊讶他是如何掌握的。
135	He would walk into a room.	他会走进一个房间。
136	It didn't matter where we were, who he was speaking to.	不管我们在哪,他和谁说话
137	And it didn't matter what was going on in his life.	而其生平之事,亦无所不至.
138	But he would walk into a room.	但他会走进房间
139	And when he would speak to someone,	当他和别人说话时
140	he would make that person feel like there was nobody else in that room,	他会让那个人觉得 房间里没有其他人
141	but him and that person.	但是他和那个人
142	And this is the former president of the United States,	这位是美国前总统
143	a man who's quite busy.	一个很忙的人
144	And you know what else he would do?	你知道他还会怎么做吗?
145	He would ask people their name.	他会问人们他们的名字。
146	What's your name?	你叫什么来着?
147	And he would remember it.	他会记得的
148	And then halfway during the conversation,	然后在谈话中,
149	he'd mention that person by their name.	他会提到那个人的名字。
150	Because when you mention somebody by their name,	因为当你提到某个人的名字,
151	our name is our identity.	我们的名字是我们的身份。
152	That's how we identify ourselves.	这就是我们如何辨别自己。
153	We're proud of our name.	以名为荣.
154	And when you can remember somebody's name, that speaks volumes.	当你能记住某人的名字, 那会说很多。
155	That is the ultimate compliment to remember somebody's name.	这是纪念某人名字的终极赞美。
156	Earlier on, they asked you to look to each other, introduce yourself,	早些时候,他们要求你们互相看望,自我介绍,
157	ask the person next to you their name.	问旁边的人 他们的名字。
158	I bet you 80% of you don't even remember the name of that person	我打赌你们80%的人 都不记得那个人的名字了
159	you introduced yourself to.	你自我介绍。
160	Because you're not listening.	因为你没在听
161	You're not trying to make somebody else feel special.	你不是想让别人觉得特别
162	And it's OK in this environment.	在这种环境下也没关系。
163	But if it's in an environment where you're looking to try to get somewhere,	但是,如果它在一个环境 你正在寻求得到的地方,
164	it's going to hurt you.	它会伤害你的。
165	Make people feel special.	令众生觉得特别.
166	Listen to people.	听人语.
167	Be present.	在场。
168	Nobody matters more than that person across from you.	你对面的人才是最重要的
169	When I would do interviews, I would take my phone,	当我做采访, 我会拿我的手机,
170	I would put that thing away, I would take my watch off.	我会把那东西收起来,我会把表拿掉
171	Because obviously it was very important to me	因为很明显这对我很重要
172	because I was trying to get an admission or a confession.	因为我想得到一个承认或忏悔。
173	I was trying to solve a crime to get information.	我试图破案 获取信息。
174	And I wanted that person, whoever it was, to know that I had nowhere to go.	我希望那个人,无论是谁, 知道我无处可去。
175	And all that mattered in that moment was that.	那一刻最重要的就是这个。
176	Perspective.	透视.
177	When I say perspective,	我说视角时
178	I speak about in the way in which we look at people	我以我们看人的方式说
179	and the way in which we see the world.	以及我们看待世界的方式。
180	And as human beings,	作为人类,
181	I've learned in studying human behaviour and dealing with people,	我在研究人类行为和与人打交道方面学到了
182	we are all egotistical people in some way.	我们从某种意义上来说都是自私自利的人。
183	We see the world truly through our own perspective.	我们从自己的角度真正看待世界。
184	We try sometimes to see it through other people's perspective.	我们有时尝试从别人的角度来看待它.
185	But we are so subjective and so biased.	但我们如此主观和有偏见。
186	And look, we've each lived our own life.	你看,我们每个人都过自己的生活。
187	And we are a culmination of our own experiences,	我们是我们自身经验的顶点
188	of our life's experiences, and that makes us who we are.	和我们的生活经历, 这使我们是谁。
189	But when you're communicating with someone,	但是当你与某人沟通时
190	you have to take a moment	你得花点时间
191	and learn about that other person's perspective.	了解别人的观点
192	And how do you do that?	那你怎么办?
193	Well, you have to know your audience.	好吧,你必须了解你的观众。
194	You have to know who you're speaking to.	你必须知道你在跟谁说话。
195	And if you're not listening,	如果你不听的话,
196	you really don't know who you're speaking to.	你真的不知道 你在跟谁说话。
197	I was in a situation or I was on an assignment in Florida	我当时有状况,或者在佛罗里达出差
198	and we were doing in advance, as we called it,	并且我们是在提前做, 正如我们所说的,
199	and I was doing the security preparations	我在做安全准备
200	for one of the people we were protecting	为了我们保护的人之一
201	who was going to the site.	谁要去现场。
202	My responsibility was to secure the site, the event site,	我的责任是保护现场 活动现场
203	to make sure everything was safe for one of our protectees,	确保一切安全 我们的一个保护人,
204	a high-level protectee.	一个高级保护人。
205	And I had to work with other members there, staff members,	我不得不在那里和其他成员合作,工作人员,
206	people from the facility and whatnot.	设施里的人什么的
207	We had to negotiate terms.	我们必须谈判条件。
208	And of course, being that I had the security angle,	当然,因为我有安全角度,
209	I wanted everything locked up and tight.	我想把所有东西都锁紧
210	I want to know who's going in, I want to know who's going out.	欲知谁入,欲知谁出.
211	And I had to compromise on certain things	我不得不在某些事情上妥协
212	with the other entities that I was working with	与我合作的其他实体
213	because they weren't focused on the event being a success.	因为他们没有把注意力放在活动的成功上。
214	We were at one point where we were discussing something	我们当时在讨论一些事情
215	and we were trying to compromise part of the security plan.	我们试图破坏安全计划
216	When one of my counterparts came up and he said to me,	当我的一位同事来对我说
217	you're acting as if somebody's going to fly a plane	你装作有人要开飞机
218	into this building.	进入这栋大楼
219	Now, I realized in that moment he didn't know his audience	现在,我意识到在那一刻 他不知道他的观众
220	because I am from New York City.	因为我来自纽约
221	I was in the World Trade Center on September 11th.	9月11日在世贸中心.
222	I lost colleagues and a friend.	我失去了同事和一个朋友。
223	Several of my colleagues and I stayed behind	我和几位同事留下来
224	to help evacuate people, to set up a triage,	帮助疏散人员 建立分队
225	and we were caught in the collapse of the towers, both.	我们被困在塔的倒塌之中
226	By the grace of God, I was able to go home that night.	受天恩赐,当晚得以归家.
227	But in hearing him speak,	但听到他说话
228	he had damaged those lines of communication.	他破坏了这些通讯线路。
229	And although I continued to work with him	虽然我继续跟他合作
230	and stay open and receptive,	你应当开诚布公,应当听从。
231	without realizing he had sabotaged something	没想到他有破坏的东西
232	because he didn't know his audience.	因为他不认识他的观众
233	When you speak to people, you have to know your audience.	与人说话时,必须了解观众.
234	And you're not going to know your audience	你不会了解你的观众
235	if you're just seeing things from your own perspective,	如果你只是从自己的角度看待事情
236	if you're the only one who's talking,	如果你是唯一说话的人
237	and if it's just about you, because it can't be.	如果它只是关于你, 因为它不可能是。
238	When we don't have perspective, we have ignorance.	当我们没有视角,我们就会有无知.
239	And ignorance causes conflict.	而无知导致冲突。
240	It causes conflict in our relationships.	它造成我们关系中的冲突。
241	It causes conflict in our personal relationships	它导致我们个人关系中的冲突
242	with our loved ones, at work, with our colleagues.	与我们所爱的人,在工作,与我们的同事。
243	It causes conflict within societies	造成社会内部冲突
244	when one group doesn't understand another group,	当一个团体不了解另一个团体时,
245	and even causes conflicts between countries	甚至是造成国与国之间的冲突
246	because we're too busy trying to shove down	因为我们忙着推下去
247	somebody else's throat our perspective	别人的喉咙 我们的观点
248	instead of trying to listen to somebody else's.	而不是听别人的
249	And when you communicate with people,	当你与人交流时
250	the idea to enhance communication	增强交流的想法
251	is to do so in a way that that person understands,	这样做的方式 以该人理解,
252	not in the way that you understand,	不为你们所了解的,
253	but in the way that person sees the world.	但以那个人看待世界的方式
254	Self, 50% of what we discussed	自己,我们讨论的50%
255	has to do with the other person,	和另一个人有关
256	but the other 50% has to do with you.	但另外50%与你有关
257	And when I say self, I mean self-awareness.	当我说自我,我的意思是自我意识。
258	Sometimes we're not really self-aware of ourselves.	有时候我们并不真正自觉
259	We're so focused on someone else.	我们这么专注于别人。
260	And when I say self-awareness,	当我说自我意识时,
261	it means really taking stock of yourself.	意思是好好总结一下自己
262	How do you present?	你怎么介绍的?
263	And it varies.	则各异.
264	We're different people with different individuals, right?	我们是不同的人 与不同的个人,对不对?
265	We're one person at home,	我们家里只有一个人
266	one person with our husband or our wife,	一个人与我们的丈夫或妻子,
267	one person with our children, one person at work.	一个人带着孩子,一个人在工作
268	But how do you carry yourself?	但是,你如何携带自己吗?
269	If you were to see you walk into a room,	如果你看到你走进房间
270	what impression would that give you?	那会给你什么印象?
271	I always hear, you know,	我总是听到,你知道,
272	it doesn't matter what you look like on the outside.	你外表的样子不重要
273	And it doesn't in that vain perspective.	而不是从那种空洞的角度看问题。
274	But what matters is how are you put together?	但重要的是你们如何组合?
275	Because if you look the part,	因为如果你看起来这个角色,
276	then people are gonna think, you know what?	然后人们会思考,你知道吗?
277	What he or she says is relevant.	他或她说的都是相关的
278	And unfortunately, if you look disheveled,	很不幸,如果你看起来被羞辱了
279	if you look like you're a mess, no one's going to listen.	如果你看起来一团糟 没人会听
280	Because it's gonna make the assumption	因为它会让假设
281	that she doesn't know what she's talking about.	她不知道自己在说什么
282	Look at her, she didn't even iron her shirt today.	看看她 她今天连衬衫都没熨过
283	And when it comes to self,	当涉及到自己时,
284	it's not just on the aesthetic level,	这不仅仅是在美学层面,
285	but also on the level of when it comes to confidence,	在信心方面,
286	how you carry yourself, who you are.	如何携带自己,你是谁。
287	There was this study done in Ontario and Canada.	在安大略省和加拿大进行了这项研究。
288	They went to a bunch of felons,	他们去找一群罪犯
289	and they asked them, how do you pick your victims?	他们问他们,你怎么挑选你的受害人?
290	They wanted to know how do they pick their targets	他们想知道如何选择目标
291	to commit a crime on these people?	对这些人犯罪?
292	And a lot of them said, well, we look at body language.	很多人说,我们看的是身体语言。
293	We look at how people carry themselves.	我们看看人们如何携带自己。
294	If you see somebody walking up with their head held high,	如果你看到有人抬起头走来
295	taking up space, because if I take up space,	占用空间,因为如果我占用空间,
296	I'm telling you what?	我告诉你什么?
297	I'm relevant, I'm matter, I'm here.	我与此事有关,我关系重大,我在这里.
298	That's one thing.	这是一件事。
299	But if I walk and I'm closed in,	但是,如果我走和 我关闭,
300	I have my head down, maybe I'm on my iPhone all the time,	我头朝下,也许我一直在我的iPhone上,
301	I'm in my own world, what message am I sending out to you?	我在我自己的世界, 我要给你什么信息?
302	Not a bad target, she might go down easy.	目标不错,她可能很容易下山
303	But the idea was, when they sensed	但这个想法是,当他们感觉到
304	somebody could possibly be a counterpredator,	某人可能是一个反掠夺者,
305	they didn't attack.	他们没有攻击。
306	But if they sensed somebody would go down easy,	但如果他们觉得有人会轻易下山
307	an easy victim, then that changed the scenario.	一个容易的受害者, 然后这改变了情景。
308	How you carry yourself, how you portray yourself,	如何携带自己,如何描绘自己,
309	that's communication, how people see you,	这就是交流 人们怎么看你
310	how people feel you.	人们对你的感觉
311	So although you may think you're sizing people up,	所以,虽然你可能认为你 缩小人们,
312	and you are, people are sizing you up too.	你也是,人们也正在把你拉大。
313	And every time I walked into the interview room,	每次我走进面试室
314	every time I went to do an arrest or search warrant,	每次我去做 逮捕或搜查令,
315	people were sizing me up.	很多人都把我逼疯了
316	And you have to be aware of that.	你必须知道这一点。
317	Respect.	敬礼.
318	I've talked to you about communication and words	我跟你说过沟通和言语
319	and how important it is, but there are times	和它有多重要, 但有时间
320	where words are not the way to communicate.	语言不是沟通的方式
321	Sometimes our actions are the way to communicate to people.	有时我们的行动就是与人沟通的方式.
322	When I went through training, through special agent training,	当我经过训练, 通过特殊特工训练,
323	it was like my second or third day,	这就像我的第二或第三天,
324	we were in the cafeteria, it was evening, eating.	我们在食堂,是晚上,吃饭。
325	And I sat down with some of my colleagues	我和我的一些同事坐下来
326	and a couple of guys came over and they said,	和几个家伙过来 他们说,
327	you know, some of the people don't feel comfortable	你知道,有些人不觉得舒服
328	with you being here.	你在这里。
329	Some of the guys don't want you here.	有些人不希望你在这里。
330	And I remember thinking, okay, I don't understand.	我记得我想,好吧,我不明白。
331	Well, they feel that, you know, it may be physically,	嗯,他们觉得, 你知道,这可能是身体上的,
332	you're not kind of stacked up to do this job.	你可没做好这个工作
333	And I remember turned around and I said,	我记得我转过身说,
334	I don't understand.	我不懂,我不懂你说什么
335	I went through the same hiring process as everyone.	我和大家经历了同样的雇用过程
336	I qualified like everybody else.	我和别人一样有资格
337	I did everything that everybody else did.	我做了其他人做过的一切
338	You guys don't even know me.	你们根本不了解我
339	You just met me two days ago, three days ago.	你两天前刚认识我 三天前
340	I don't understand.	我不懂,我不懂你说什么
341	And I said, well, you know what?	我说,你知道吗?
342	The standards for women are lower than they are for men.	妇女的标准低于男子。
343	The standards are lower so that women can get this job.	标准较低,以便妇女能够获得这份工作。
344	So I went home that night	我当晚回家
345	and I thought about what they said.	我考虑了他们说的话
346	And what they said was true.	他们说的话是真的
347	The standards were lower so that women could get in.	标准较低,以便妇女能够进入。
348	That wasn't a lie.	这不是谎言。
349	And I felt stupid.	我觉得自己很蠢
350	I felt like a stupid girl to think	我觉得自己像个愚蠢的女孩
351	that I actually thought I belonged there.	我其实以为我属于那里。
352	I felt ashamed and embarrassed.	我感到羞愧和尴尬。
353	But then there was this other part of me	但后来我还有另一部分
354	that felt angry and rage.	愤怒和愤怒
355	And I could feel this venom coursing through my veins.	我能感觉到这毒液在我的血管里凝结
356	And lucky for me, that part of me won over.	幸运的是,我的一部分赢了。
357	Next day, I found out what the standards were for the men.	第二天,我发现了什么标准是男人。
358	And I started training.	我开始训练
359	I would train during the day	我会在白天训练
360	and then I would train at night by myself	晚上我一个人训练
361	for months, pushing and pushing.	数月,推和推。
362	And eventually it got stronger.	最终它变得更加强大。
363	But what I realized is my confidence got stronger	但我意识到 我的信心变得更强了
364	and my mental armor got stronger.	我的精神盔甲变强了
365	That part of me, because it was all mental,	我的一部分,因为这一切都是精神上的,
366	it wasn't really physical.	这不是真的物理的。
367	And I built up my mental armor.	我建立了我的精神盔甲。
368	And eventually I started competing on the same level	最后我开始在同一个级别上竞争
369	as the men in my class.	作为我班上的人
370	And even in some occasions, surpassing them.	甚至在某些场合, 超越他们。
371	I earned the respect, not through going to somebody	我赢得了尊重,不是通过去某人
372	and saying, hey, you need to respect me.	并说,嘿, 你需要尊重我。
373	I knew that that wasn't gonna work,	我知道那不会成功,
374	but I earned it through my actions.	但我通过我的行动赢得了它。
375	And I have to tell you though, not everybody respected me	我必须告诉你,不是每个人都尊重我
376	no matter how much I excelled,	无论我有多出色
377	no matter how so much I surpassed,	无论我超越了多少
378	not everybody respected me.	不是每个人都尊重我
379	And that's when I learned it wasn't my issue.	那时我得知那不是我的问题
380	It was theirs.	这是他们的。
381	That's when I learned you don't need everybody's respect.	那时我才知道你不需要别人的尊重
382	Some people's you don't need.	有些人你不需要帮助
383	First and foremost is your own, respecting yourself,	首先是你自己,尊重你自己,
384	which I acquired.	我得到了这个
385	And then knowing whose opinions of you matter	然后知道你对谁的意见很重要
386	and whose opinions of you don't.	和谁的意见 你没有。
387	When you learn to differentiate which ones matter	当你学会区分什么才是重要的
388	and which ones don't, that's when you're really free.	哪些没有,那就是你真正自由的时候。
389	I wanna finish with this.	我想结束这一切。
390	How you define yourself is your choice.	如何定义自己是你的选择。
391	How others define you is their choice,	别人如何定义你 是他们的选择,
392	is up to you to decide which definition you prefer.	由你决定你喜欢哪个定义。
393	Thank you.	谢谢

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