【TED演讲】如何给出有效的反馈
字幕摘录
| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| 0:04 | A few years ago, I found myself individually coaching both a manager and an employee at | 几年前,我发现自己 单独指导一个经理和一个员工 |
| 0:12 | the same time. | 同时。 |
| 0:14 | The employee was super confident she'd get promoted, whereas the manager privately shared | 员工很有信心能升职 而经理私下分享 |
| 0:20 | with me that she had no plans to do so. | 和我说她没有计划这样做。 |
| 0:25 | Why the disconnect? | 为什么断线? |
| 0:27 | The manager admitted using the feedback sandwich technique, which is praise, feedback, then | 经理承认使用了反馈三明治技术,即赞美,反馈,然后 |
| 0:34 | praise again, embedding that critical feedback in the praise, leading to false expectations. | 将这种批评性反馈植根于赞美中,导致虚假的期望。 |
| 0:43 | Despite the manager's good intentions, the impact was damaging. | 尽管经理有好意,但影响还是很严重. |
| 0:48 | There was burnout for the manager for overcompensating. | 经理因过度赔偿而焦头烂额。 |
| 0:52 | There was a breakdown in trust for the employee, and ultimately, unachieved goals for the organization. | 对雇员的信任崩溃,最终本组织的目标未能实现。 |
展开字幕全文（133 条）
| 序号 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | A few years ago, I found myself individually coaching both a manager and an employee at | 几年前,我发现自己 单独指导一个经理和一个员工 |
| 2 | the same time. | 同时。 |
| 3 | The employee was super confident she'd get promoted, whereas the manager privately shared | 员工很有信心能升职 而经理私下分享 |
| 4 | with me that she had no plans to do so. | 和我说她没有计划这样做。 |
| 5 | Why the disconnect? | 为什么断线? |
| 6 | The manager admitted using the feedback sandwich technique, which is praise, feedback, then | 经理承认使用了反馈三明治技术,即赞美,反馈,然后 |
| 7 | praise again, embedding that critical feedback in the praise, leading to false expectations. | 将这种批评性反馈植根于赞美中,导致虚假的期望。 |
| 8 | Despite the manager's good intentions, the impact was damaging. | 尽管经理有好意,但影响还是很严重. |
| 9 | There was burnout for the manager for overcompensating. | 经理因过度赔偿而焦头烂额。 |
| 10 | There was a breakdown in trust for the employee, and ultimately, unachieved goals for the organization. | 对雇员的信任崩溃,最终本组织的目标未能实现。 |
| 11 | Having coached hundreds of leaders, this is just one of many examples that I've encountered | 教过几百位领袖,这只是我遇到的许多例子之一 |
| 12 | where low emotional intelligence, EQ for short, leads to low results. | 低情感智能,EQ为短,导致低结果. |
| 13 | And that's no surprise given the decades of research that show that EQ can boost profitability. | 这并不奇怪,因为几十年的研究表明 EQ 能够提升盈利能力。 |
| 14 | My fascination with human behavior started at an early age, where amidst family dysfunction, | 我对人类行为的迷恋从小开始,在家庭功能失调期间, |
| 15 | I witnessed firsthand how low EQ can leave a negative legacy. | 我亲眼目睹了EQ的低水平会留下负面的遗产. |
| 16 | And now, as a psychologist, as an executive coach, I'm passionate about drawing from | 作为心理学家 作为执行导师 我热衷于从 |
| 17 | my unique corporate and counseling background to bridge theory and practice when it comes to teams. | 我独特的公司背景和咨询背景 在团队中沟通理论和实践 |
| 18 | Managers, I see you. | 经理,我看见你了 |
| 19 | With the pressure to meet bottom-line goals, you often have to do more with less. | 面对达到底线目标的压力,你常常需要用更少的时间做更多的事情. |
| 20 | But what got you here, excelling as an individual contributor, doing things yourself, won't | 但是什么让你在这里, 杰出的个人贡献者, 做自己的事情,不会 |
| 21 | get you success as a manager. | 让你做经理成功 |
| 22 | As a leader, your impact is measured by what you achieve through your team. | 作为一个领导者,你的影响是衡量 通过你的团队所实现的。 |
| 23 | But let's be honest, increasing the intrinsic motivation and accountability of your team | 老实说 提高团队的内在动力和责任 |
| 24 | isn't always easy, especially when there's resistance or a breakdown in trust. | 并不总是容易的, 特别是当有抵抗 或信任崩溃。 |
| 25 | How do you drive results? | 如何驱动结果? |
| 26 | By unlocking the leadership potential of every team member, no matter their title. | 通过释放每个团队成员的领导潜能,无论他们的头衔如何. |
| 27 | I believe it begins by elevating your emotional intelligence with three key skills. | 我相信它开始于用三种关键技能提升你的情感智力. |
| 28 | Connect, correct and cultivate. | 连接,正确和培育。 |
| 29 | These three Cs make up a research-backed framework called Leadership Activated that I've developed | 这3个C构成一个研究支持的框架, 叫做领导激活,我已经开发 |
| 30 | to help leaders practically build trust, guide behavior and foster growth. | 帮助领导人切实建立信任、引导行为和促进增长。 |
| 31 | The first C is Connect. | 第一个C是连接。 |
| 32 | An executive once asked me to repurpose her session time to coach a seasoned employee | 有一次,一个主管叫我改用她的课时间 来训练一个老练的员工 |
| 33 | of hers whose performance was declining. | 她的表现在下降 |
| 34 | But as soon as I got into session, I knew she didn't need coaching on her external skills. | 但我一上课 我就知道她不需要外力训练 |
| 35 | She needed coaching to really uncover the internal factors influencing her performance. | 她需要辅导才能真正发现影响她表现的内部因素. |
| 36 | Connection is what unlocks high performance because it creates psychological safety, | 连接是解锁高性能 因为它创造了心理安全, |
| 37 | a key driver to team success, where individuals feel freedom to communicate without fear. | 团队成功的关键驱动力, 在那里,个人感到自由的交流 没有恐惧。 |
| 38 | Research also shows that the number one factor to job satisfaction is not our pay, | 研究还表明,工作满意度的首要因素不是我们的工资, |
| 39 | but how valued and appreciated we feel. | 但是我们是多么珍视和欣赏 |
| 40 | Sometimes we have to go slow to go fast, and trust is an accelerator to business results. | 有时我们得慢慢地去快速去,信任是加速商业结果的一个因素. |
| 41 | And we build trust when we take the time to connect. | 当我们花时间联系的时候,我们就建立信任。 |
| 42 | What would it look like for this manager to connect? | 这个经理能联系到什么? |
| 43 | Because I see a lot of managers push without connection. | 因为我看到很多管理者 推而不连接。 |
| 44 | And what happens is that the behavior gets worse. | 接下来是行为恶化。 |
| 45 | Because correction without connection feels like rejection. | 因为没有连接的校正 感觉就像拒绝。 |
| 46 | Connection is what separates our work from our worth. | 连接是我们的工作和价值之间的区别。 |
| 47 | It's about valuing people, not just for what they do, but who they are. | 这是关于重视人,不光是为了他们的行为,也是为了他们是谁. |
| 48 | The best practice here is when you use a tone of curiosity, you can say something like, | 这里的最佳做法是 当你用好奇的语气, 你可以说, |
| 49 | I want you to know it's safe to share. | 我想让你知道分享是安全的 |
| 50 | Or use open-ended questions like, can you help me understand? | 或者用开放式的问题 比如 你能帮我理解吗? |
| 51 | Or use phrases like, I see you, I hear you, that's hard. | 或用词如,我见,我听,难. |
| 52 | All while paraphrasing back to make the employee feel heard. | 一直说回来 让员工觉得有耳闻 |
| 53 | And when we do, the magic here is that we uncover the root issue. | 而当我们这样做,这里的魔力是,我们发现了根本问题。 |
| 54 | Maybe it's imposter syndrome. | 也许这是冒牌货综合症 |
| 55 | Maybe it's a personal issue at play. | 也许是个人问题 |
| 56 | What makes them feel valued? | 是什么让他们觉得很受重视? |
| 57 | What motivates them? | 什么激励他们? |
| 58 | All without fixing, lecturing or using the information against them in any way. | 所有这一切不以任何方式固定、教导或使用针对他们的信息。 |
| 59 | It's about talking with them, not at them. | 是要和他们谈话,而不是对他们说话. |
| 60 | And sometimes we find what is part of it contributing to this resistance is actually us. | 有时我们发现 造成这种阻力的部分 实际上是我们。 |
| 61 | Lean in to that insight. | 顺其自然 |
| 62 | It's a gift. | 礼毕. |
| 63 | Instead of defending your intention, model owning your impact. | 而不是捍卫你的意图,模型拥有你的影响力。 |
| 64 | Saying something like, it looks like I need to work on that goes a long way. | 说一些类似的话, 它看起来像我需要工作 做到这一点很长。 |
| 65 | The first C, connect, is not a nice to have. | 第一个C,连接,不是一个好有。 |
| 66 | Even if it takes more than one meeting, the only goal is to make an employee feel seen. | 即使这需要不止一个会议,唯一的目标就是让员工感到看见. |
| 67 | And while that's essential, not providing any developmental guidance is actually coddling. | 虽然这很重要,但是不提供任何发展指导 实际上是在串通一气。 |
| 68 | The second C is correct. | 第二个C是正确的。 |
| 69 | I once coached a brilliant COO, but he would redo his team's work instead of correcting them. | 我曾经教过一个优秀的COO, 但他会重新做他的球队的工作 而不是纠正他们。 |
| 70 | His over-functioning enabled their under-functioning. | 他的过度运作使他们的功能不足。 |
| 71 | The story he told himself was feedback was hurting people. | 他告诉自己的故事是反馈在伤害人们. |
| 72 | But when you look at the definition of a manager, which is to steward the organization's goals through people, | 但当你看一个经理的定义, 就是通过人来管理组织的目标, |
| 73 | feedback given with psychological safety is actually empowering. | 提供心理安全反馈实际上是增强能力。 |
| 74 | Now that we've separated work from worth, we can have a compassionate focus on behavior. | 现在我们把工作与价值分开了, 我们可以对行为有同情心。 |
| 75 | Remember, we are correcting the behavior, not the person. | 记住,我们正在纠正 行为,而不是人。 |
| 76 | What would it look like for this manager to correct? | 这个经理会怎样纠正? |
| 77 | Well, one thing I see a lot of managers do is hint. | 嗯,我看到很多管理人员做的一件事 就是暗示。 |
| 78 | Hinting doesn't work. | 施设不效. |
| 79 | Effective correction balances clarity and kindness. | 有效的校正平衡了清晰和善良. |
| 80 | No one can read your mind. | 没人能读懂你的心思 |
| 81 | Instead of saying deadlines are important, we can say the deadline was X, this was submitted on Y, | 而不是说最后期限很重要, 我们可以说最后期限是X, 这是在Y, |
| 82 | we need all deadlines met from now on because of Z impact. | 从现在起我们需要遵守所有的最后期限 因为Z的影响。 |
| 83 | Authors Heen and Stone break down the psychology behind why we do this. | 作者希恩和斯通破解了为什么我们这样做背后的心理学. |
| 84 | The feedback sits at the intersection of two competing human needs. | 反馈位于人类两个相互竞争的需求的交汇点。 |
| 85 | On one hand, we want to learn and grow. | 一方面,我们希望学习和成长。 |
| 86 | On another hand, we want to be worthy and enough just the way we are without change. | 另一方面,我们想要有价值和足够,就像我们没有变化一样。 |
| 87 | Vague feedback equals vague commitment equals zero chance of change. | 模糊的反馈等于模糊的承诺等于零的改变机会。 |
| 88 | And no one is motivated by shame. | 没有人会因为羞耻而动心 |
| 89 | So managers are so much more successful when they use the word and instead of but. | 所以当管理者使用这个词时,他们就更成功,而不是但是。 |
| 90 | We, instead of you, your client dedication is impressive. | 我们,而不是你, 你的客户奉献是令人印象深刻的。 |
| 91 | And can we collaborate to improve communication? | 我们能合作改善沟通吗? |
| 92 | Unlike the ineffective feedback sandwich, the first C, connect, establishes enough trust for the second C, correct, | 与无效的反馈三明治不同,第一个C,连接,为第二个C建立了足够的信任,正确, |
| 93 | which is that clear, kind guidance. | 这是明确的, 良好的指导。 |
| 94 | And because connect and correct is not a one and done, the third C is cultivate. | 因为连接和正确不是一 做,第三个C是培育。 |
| 95 | Just like a garden needs ongoing care to flourish, | 就像花园需要不断的照顾 才能繁荣 |
| 96 | leadership potential is cultivated by ongoing coaching. | 通过持续的辅导培养领导能力。 |
| 97 | Yet many managers will wait until the last minute to a year and review to give vague feedback, | 然而,许多管理人员将等到最后一分钟到一年再进行审查,以提供模糊的反馈, |
| 98 | which, of course, erodes trust. | 这当然会侵蚀信任。 |
| 99 | Whereas research shows that real time, informal, frequent feedback is far more effective. | 研究表明,实时、非正式、频繁的反馈要有效得多。 |
| 100 | And when we ask our teams open ended coaching questions like, what do you think we should do? | 当我们问我们的球队 公开结束的教练问题 比如, 你觉得我们应该怎么做? |
| 101 | It empowers a whole team to step up with solutions, | 它赋予了整个团队力量 以提升解决方案, |
| 102 | which unlocks the leadership potential of both our team as well as our own. | 它释放了我们团队和我们自己的领导潜力。 |
| 103 | Because we're trading in burnout for a culture of ownership. | 因为我们为了一种主人翁文化 正在用火烧成灰 |
| 104 | This talk is actually not about feedback or the latest management trend. | 这其实不是关于反馈或最新的管理趋势。 |
| 105 | Connect, correct and cultivate are these three C's that we may excel in one. | 连接、正确和培育是这三个C的, 我们可能会在其中一个中表现优异。 |
| 106 | But the truth, they're like a tripod. | 但事实是,他们就像三脚架。 |
| 107 | And if we don't excel in all three of them, our ability to activate leadership falls apart. | 如果我们不在所有三个方面都表现出色, 我们启动领导的能力就会崩溃。 |
| 108 | But you may think that EQ is fluff, that a focus on people moves us further away from the bottom line. | 但你可能认为EQ是模糊的, 专注于人使我们更远离底线。 |
| 109 | However, I am in the trenches with leaders daily. | 然而,我每天都与领导人在战壕中。 |
| 110 | And I know firsthand that emotional intelligence is our greatest strategy to results. | 我第一手知道 情感智能是我们取得结果的最大策略 |
| 111 | Because our work is only as good as our work with other people. | 因为我们的工作只和别人的工作一样好. |
| 112 | The secret to high performance is simple. | 高性能的秘密很简单。 |
| 113 | We raise the intrinsic motivation and accountability of our teams | 我们提高团队的内在动机和问责制 |
| 114 | when they first feel seen, heard and valued. | 当他们第一次感觉 被看见,听到和重视。 |
| 115 | However, leadership isn't just about performance. | 然而,领导不只是表现。 |
| 116 | I know firsthand that low EQ can create cycles of mistrust, disconnection and pain. | 我第一手知道,低EQ可以造成不信任,断裂和痛苦的循环. |
| 117 | I dream of a healthier world where we don't just push on the world-changing missions of | 我梦见一个更健康的世界 我们不只是推动 改变世界的使命 |
| 118 | our organizations, but with the accelerated and unprecedented | 我们的组织,但随着加速和前所未有的 |
| 119 | paced results through non-human means, we must anchor those achievements in what is uniquely human. | 我们必须通过非人类手段逐步取得成果,这些成就必须扎根于独特的人类。 |
| 120 | Not replacing, but retaining connection as the cornerstone and the launching pad to | 不替换,而是保留连接作为基石和发射台 |
| 121 | all of our progress. | 我们所有的进步。 |
| 122 | I believe we can raise the emotional intelligence of entire workplaces | 我相信我们可以提高整个工作场所的情感智力 |
| 123 | to make them as kind as they are effective. | 以使他们像有效那样善良。 |
| 124 | To create an impact that's both measurable and meaningful. | 产生既可衡量又有意义的影响. |
| 125 | We're not just leaders. | 我们不仅仅是领导人。 |
| 126 | We're cycle breakers. | 我们是循环断路器。 |
| 127 | So today I'm asking you, what kind of legacy do you want to leave as a leader? | 所以今天我问你,你想作为领袖离开什么样的遗产? |
| 128 | Will it be defined solely by the what? | 它是否仅由什么定义? |
| 129 | The bottom line goals. | 底线目标. |
| 130 | Or will it transcend to the how? | 或者它会超越如何? |
| 131 | How through connection, we created an impact that truly mattered. | 如何通过连接,我们创造了一个真正重要的影响。 |
| 132 | Together, we can architect the leadership of tomorrow. | 我们可以一起设计明天的领导。 |
| 133 | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
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