如何停止越努力越累的职场内耗【TED演讲】
字幕摘录
| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| 0:07 | I am definitely not the hero of this talk, but if I do my job properly, you will be. | 我绝对不是这个演讲的英雄,但如果我做好我的工作,你会是的。 |
| 0:14 | You'll be the hero that goes on a journey today and discovers a gift that could change your world. | 你会成为英雄 踏上今天的旅程 发现一个可以改变你世界的礼物 |
| 0:24 | First, let me tell you a story that will give you context for everything I'm about to share with you. | 首先,让我告诉你一个故事, 它会给你的背景 我将要与你分享的一切。 |
| 0:30 | I was nine years old, and I was horror-stricken as I watched my two older brothers, Perry and Mark, | 我当时9岁 看着两个哥哥Perry和Mark时 我感到恐怖 |
| 0:38 | in a vicious fight. | 在一场恶毒的战斗。 |
| 0:40 | They were strangling each other on the floor. | 他们在地板上互相扼杀 |
| 0:44 | My nine-year-old brain actually believed that I was about to lose one or maybe both of my brothers. | 我九岁的大脑真的相信 我将要失去一个或两个兄弟 |
| 0:52 | When it was all done, they vowed that they would never speak to each other again, and they didn't, for several years. | 当这一切完成后,他们发誓他们再也不会和对方说话,而且他们没有,在几年里. |
| 1:02 | So here's how it went down in my house. | 事情是这样在我的房子里发生的 |
| 1:06 | The phone would ring, and Perry would answer it, discover that it was for Mark. | 电话会响,派瑞会回答,发现是给马克的. |
展开字幕全文（241 条）
| 序号 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | I am definitely not the hero of this talk, but if I do my job properly, you will be. | 我绝对不是这个演讲的英雄,但如果我做好我的工作,你会是的。 |
| 2 | You'll be the hero that goes on a journey today and discovers a gift that could change your world. | 你会成为英雄 踏上今天的旅程 发现一个可以改变你世界的礼物 |
| 3 | First, let me tell you a story that will give you context for everything I'm about to share with you. | 首先,让我告诉你一个故事, 它会给你的背景 我将要与你分享的一切。 |
| 4 | I was nine years old, and I was horror-stricken as I watched my two older brothers, Perry and Mark, | 我当时9岁 看着两个哥哥Perry和Mark时 我感到恐怖 |
| 5 | in a vicious fight. | 在一场恶毒的战斗。 |
| 6 | They were strangling each other on the floor. | 他们在地板上互相扼杀 |
| 7 | My nine-year-old brain actually believed that I was about to lose one or maybe both of my brothers. | 我九岁的大脑真的相信 我将要失去一个或两个兄弟 |
| 8 | When it was all done, they vowed that they would never speak to each other again, and they didn't, for several years. | 当这一切完成后,他们发誓他们再也不会和对方说话,而且他们没有,在几年里. |
| 9 | So here's how it went down in my house. | 事情是这样在我的房子里发生的 |
| 10 | The phone would ring, and Perry would answer it, discover that it was for Mark. | 电话会响,派瑞会回答,发现是给马克的. |
| 11 | He would say to me, go tell your brother, Paul wants to talk to him. | 他会告诉我,去告诉你的兄弟,保罗想跟他谈谈。 |
| 12 | I was drawn into the space between for years. | 我被拉进了几年的空间 |
| 13 | Fast forward, my brother Mark got into trouble. | 快速前进,我弟弟马克惹上麻烦了。 |
| 14 | My dad kicked him out of the house, held the hard line. | 我爸爸把他赶出家门,坚持了强硬路线。 |
| 15 | Even though my mother's heart was breaking, she would secretly bake cinnamon buns | 虽然我妈妈心碎了,她会偷偷烤肉桂包 |
| 16 | and come to me and say, would you take these to your brother and tell him that I love him? | 来到我面前,说,你会把这些给你哥哥,告诉他我爱他吗? |
| 17 | I was drawn into the space between. | 我被吸引到中间的空间。 |
| 18 | That was 50 years ago, and I have lived in and have worked in the space between ever since. | 那是50年前的事了,从那时起,我一直生活在一个空间里工作。 |
| 19 | And what I want to do today is to help you understand the power of what can happen when we step into that space. | 我今天想做的是帮助你理解 当我们踏进那个空间时会发生什么。 |
| 20 | In order to do that, I'm going to share a true and remarkable story with you about Paula and her manager, Zied, | 为了做到这一点,我要 跟你分享一个真实和了不起的故事 关于宝拉和她的经理,齐德, |
| 21 | in which they go on a journey from depleted brains to very energized brains. | 他们从耗尽的大脑到充满活力的大脑 |
| 22 | So I'd like you to meet Paula. | 所以,我想让你见见宝拉。 |
| 23 | Paula started her job, like most of us do, wanting to be a high performer. | 宝拉像我们大多数人一样开始工作, 想要成为一名出色的演员. |
| 24 | She was highly engaged, wanted to contribute to the organization. | 她非常投入,希望为该组织作出贡献。 |
| 25 | But what happened in her company was there was a reorg and leaders took their eye off the ball, | 但是她公司里发生的事是 有个瑞格 领导们把眼睛从球上移开 |
| 26 | leaving Paula without the support, the guidance, the coaching that she so desperately needed. | 保拉得不到她急需的帮助 指导 指导 |
| 27 | And although Paula had started out engaged, she became exhausted. | 虽然宝拉刚订婚,她就筋疲力尽了 |
| 28 | Although she had started out dedicated, her brain became depleted. | 虽然她一开始是献身的,但她的大脑已经枯竭. |
| 29 | And here's what we are seeing across North America. | 这就是我们在北美各地看到的。 |
| 30 | Massive amounts of employees, managers and leaders who are engaged but exhausted. | 大量雇员、管理人员和领导,他们已经订婚,但已经精疲力竭。 |
| 31 | They're dedicated but depleted. | 它们是献身但耗尽。 |
| 32 | So it's very difficult to become our best selves when our brain is depleted. | 所以当我们的大脑耗尽时 很难成为我们最好的自己 |
| 33 | But why is that? | 为什么? |
| 34 | Let's take a moment and peek inside this three pound blob of tofu that nestles into your cranium | 让我们花点时间偷看这三磅豆腐 巢穴进入你的阴囊 |
| 35 | and understand why that is. | 并理解为什么。 |
| 36 | This brain of ours, it only comprises 2% of our body weight. | 我们的大脑 只占我们体重的2% |
| 37 | But how much energy does it burn every day? | 但每天燃烧多少能量? |
| 38 | It is metabolically expensive. | 它的代谢成本很高。 |
| 39 | It burns 20% of our energy reserves every single day. | 每天消耗20%的能量 |
| 40 | Far more than any other organ in our body. | 比我们体内任何其他器官都要多得多。 |
| 41 | Heart, lungs, liver, they're all important. | 心,肺,肝,皆为重要. |
| 42 | But they can't come close to the energy draw that the brain does. | 但是它们不能接近大脑的能量图。 |
| 43 | So what happens if you are engaged but exhausted? | 如果你订婚了又累又怎么样? |
| 44 | If you are dedicated but depleted, you will lose access to one very important thing. | 如果你是献身但耗尽, 你会失去一个非常重要的事情。 |
| 45 | And the first thing you lose access to is your executive function. | 你失去的第一件事 就是你的行政职能。 |
| 46 | So all the autonomic functions of the brain that control your immune system, your digestive system, | 所以控制你免疫系统 消化系统的所有脑电离功能 |
| 47 | your fight and flight mechanism, they keep running. | 你的战斗和飞行机制, 他们继续运行。 |
| 48 | But the first thing you lose access to is the executive function | 但你失去的第一件事是 执行职能 |
| 49 | because the body is very judicious in its use of fuel. | 因为身体在使用燃料方面非常明智。 |
| 50 | So the executive function, what is it? | 执行职能是什么? |
| 51 | Well, let's take a look here. | 好吧,让我们来看看这里。 |
| 52 | With an energized brain, you can focus your attention. | 用一个充满活力的大脑,你可以集中你的注意力. |
| 53 | You can regulate your emotions. | 你可以调节你的情绪。 |
| 54 | You can connect the dots in surprising ways. | 你可以用惊人的方式连接点。 |
| 55 | You can anticipate the downstream implications of any decision or behavior. | 你可以预见到任何决定或行为的下游影响. |
| 56 | And you can make really smart decisions. | 你可以做出非常明智的决定。 |
| 57 | But when your brain becomes depleted and you lose access to the executive function, | 但是当你的大脑耗尽 失去执行功能时 |
| 58 | you get easily distracted. | 你很容易分心。 |
| 59 | You can react very impulsively. | 你可以非常冲动的反应。 |
| 60 | You lose the thread. | 你失去了线。 |
| 61 | You fail to see the downstream implications. | 你看不到下游的影响。 |
| 62 | And you make really unwise decisions. | 你做的决定很不明智 |
| 63 | This is not a bad person. | 这不是一个坏人。 |
| 64 | This is just a person with a depleted brain. | 这只是一个脑衰竭的人。 |
| 65 | So this is where Ziad enters the story. | 故兹德入此经. |
| 66 | In the reorg, he became Paula's new manager and he sat down with her. | 在reorg中,他成为宝拉的新经理,并和她坐下. |
| 67 | And after hearing a few things from other leaders and other managers in which they said, | 在听到其他领导人和其他管理人员的一些话后, |
| 68 | when she's on her game, Paula is amazing. | 当她玩游戏时,宝拉是惊人的。 |
| 69 | She's bright and she can be highly productive. | 她很聪明,而且很有生产力 |
| 70 | But she's begun to struggle with stress and sickness and absenteeism. | 但她开始挣扎 压力,疾病和缺勤。 |
| 71 | And in fact, she became absent so often that leaders had seriously considered freeing up her future. | 事实上,她经常缺席,以至于领导人认真考虑释放她的未来。 |
| 72 | Ziad sat down with Paula and said, I don't need to know what's happening in your personal life. | Ziad和Paula坐下来说 我不需要知道你的私生活 |
| 73 | That's not my business. | 这不关我的事 |
| 74 | But I do want you to know that I'm in your corner, that I've got your back. | 但我确实想让你知道我在你的角落, 我得到了你的支持。 |
| 75 | So what can we do to take some stuff off your plate to make this work for you? | 那么,我们能做什么 取出一些东西 从你的盘子里为你工作? |
| 76 | Does the approach sound okay so far? | 目前为止这个方法听上去还行吗? |
| 77 | It's not okay so far. | 目前还不行 |
| 78 | It's actually a train wreck. | 实际上是火车残骸 |
| 79 | My biggest work with leaders is helping them switch and shift from parenting to partnering. | 我与领导人的最大合作是帮助他们从养育子女转向伴侣关系。 |
| 80 | Ziad is taking a classic parenting approach, | Ziad正采取典型的养育方式 |
| 81 | assuming that he knows best and trying to fix Paula's situation by taking stuff off her plate. | 假设他知道最好 并试图通过 取走她盘子里的东西来改变宝拉的处境 |
| 82 | And sometimes when people try to fix us, it actually creates more frustration and more depletion. | 有时当人们试图修复我们的时候, 它实际上会制造更多的挫折和消耗。 |
| 83 | Every time they had that type of conversation, it was deeply unfulfilling as both of them walked away. | 每当他们进行这种对话时,他们都离家出走,结果很不成功。 |
| 84 | It was in this time period that Ziad happened to come to one of my sessions around energizing people's brains. | 就在这段时期,齐亚德恰巧来到了我身边的一次关于激发人们脑力的会议. |
| 85 | And he learned that it's not magic. | 他得知这不是魔法。 |
| 86 | In fact, it's not something you're either born with or not born with. | 事实上,你生下来或不是生下来的 |
| 87 | It's a trainable skill. | 是一种可训练的技能. |
| 88 | Anyone can learn how to do it. | 皆能学道. |
| 89 | And it's all about understanding what matters most and connecting on what matters most. | 这都是为了了解什么是最重要的 并且连接到什么是最重要的。 |
| 90 | Ziad learned that in any situation, there are things that matter most to us. | 齐亚德得知,无论如何,有些事情对我们来说是最重要的. |
| 91 | So for instance, in some situations, belonging, inclusion, acceptance, feeling part of the tribe, | 例如,在某些情况下, 归属,包容,接受, 感觉一部分部落, |
| 92 | social relationships, that is the thing that is deeply energizing for our brains. | 社会关系,这是 深深激发我们的大脑。 |
| 93 | But there are other situations where we feel a little bit off balance and security is the thing. | 但是,在其他一些情况下,我们感到有些不平衡,安全是问题所在。 |
| 94 | So system, structures, consistency, rules in fair play. | 所以系统,结构,一致性,规则在公平竞争。 |
| 95 | But in other situations, it's all about freedom. | 但在其他情况下,这都是关于自由的. |
| 96 | It's all about autonomy and independence, the ability to get our fingerprints on things, take a risk and make decisions. | 这都是关于自主性和独立性, 以及获得我们的东西的指纹, 冒险和决定的能力. |
| 97 | But in other situations, it is all about significance, the ability to do quality and excellent work, | 但在其他情况下,这都关乎意义, 做高质量和出色工作的能力, |
| 98 | make progress, achieve great results, move the needle. | 取得进步,取得伟大成果,移动针头。 |
| 99 | And in some situations, it is all about meaning, purpose, legacy, the greater good, changing the world. | 在某些情况下,它都涉及到意义,目的,遗产,更大的好处,改变世界. |
| 100 | And it's very important to understand and connect on what matters most to the person in the specific situation that they are in. | 并且非常重要的是 了解和联系什么是最重要的 在他们所处的特定情况下的人。 |
| 101 | Ziad came into this and what mattered most to him in this situation was freedom. | Ziad陷入了这种境地,在这种情况下对他来说最重要的就是自由. |
| 102 | He needed to get free of hand holding a problem employee. | 他需要自由的手 持有一个问题员工。 |
| 103 | And so he assumed that freedom must be the thing that mattered most to Paula as well. | 所以他假设 自由对宝拉也是最重要的 |
| 104 | So his approach was, how do we take stuff off your plate? | 那么他的方法是,我们怎么从你的盘子里拿东西? |
| 105 | How do we free up mind space for you? | 我们怎么为你腾出心灵空间? |
| 106 | Because I know this is stressful for you. | 因为我知道这对你压力很大 |
| 107 | And as I said, what happened was it was deeply unfulfilling for both of them. | 正如我所说,事情的发生 对他们两人来说都是无法完成的。 |
| 108 | What he learned was that for Paula, significance was the deal. | 他学到的是,对宝拉来说,重要的是交易。 |
| 109 | And here's how he learned that. | 他是这样学的 |
| 110 | You don't have to be a mind reader. | 你不必读心术 |
| 111 | You don't have to be a therapist. | 你不必当心理医生 |
| 112 | You don't have to be an expert coach to find out what matters to another person. | 你不必做一个专家教练 来找出对另一个人很重要的东西 |
| 113 | In fact, the people who are best at it do one simple thing. | 事实上,最擅长的人做一件简单的事情。 |
| 114 | They ask, what's most important to you in this situation? | 他们问,什么是最重要的 你在这种情况下? |
| 115 | So Ziad came back from that training session at a simple conversation with Paula and said, | 所以Ziad在和Paula的简单交谈中 从训练班回来说 |
| 116 | Paula, this has been difficult. | 宝拉 这很困难 |
| 117 | I'm wondering if you and I could do a redo of some of our conversations because I know they've been frustrating. | 我想知道你我能不能重做一些我们的对话 因为我知道他们很沮丧 |
| 118 | I want to ask you one question. | 我想问你一个问题 |
| 119 | What matters most to you in this situation? | 在这种情况下,你最关心的是什么? |
| 120 | Her response was instant. | 她的反应是即时的。 |
| 121 | She said, I want to be seen as a high performer. | 她说,我想被看成一个优秀的演员。 |
| 122 | I want to be seen as somebody who is highly productive. | 我想被看成一个 很有生产力的人。 |
| 123 | But every time I meet with you, you take stuff off my plate. | 但每次我见到你 你都会把东西从我的盘子里拿走 |
| 124 | You take challenges away from me. | 你从我身上夺走挑战 |
| 125 | You take learning opportunities away from me. | 你夺走了我的学习机会 |
| 126 | I want more challenges at work. | 我希望工作中有更多的挑战。 |
| 127 | And Ziad is thinking, who would have thought that somebody who is struggling with stress and sickness | 而Ziad在想,谁会想到 有人在挣扎 压力和疾病 |
| 128 | and absenteeism wants more challenge at work? | 缺勤还想要更多的工作挑战? |
| 129 | And he didn't know if she could really step up and do it. | 他不知道她能不能挺身而出 |
| 130 | But he thought, let's give it a go. | 但他想,让我们试试看。 |
| 131 | And he started giving her challenge after challenge and coming alongside of her and helping her out. | 他开始在挑战之后给她挑战 和她一起来帮助她 |
| 132 | And what happened was every time he did, she stepped up and she hit it out of the park. | 事情的发生是每次他这样做, 她挺身而出,她把它打出公园。 |
| 133 | Well, when you start to understand what matters most, possibility very fluidly flows from that. | 好吧,当你开始理解什么是最重要的, 可能非常流畅地流出。 |
| 134 | And they started to see new ways of Paula adding value and stepping in and being innovative. | 他们开始看到保拉增加价值的新方式 介入并创新。 |
| 135 | And when that starts to happen, it's very natural to move into partnering together for progress. | 当这开始发生的时候, 一起合作以争取进步是非常自然的。 |
| 136 | So what was happening inside the brains of our two our two journeyers here? | 我们两个旅行者的大脑里发生了什么? |
| 137 | What was happening was there were some powerful high performance hormones that were flowing. | 发生的事情是, 有一些强大的 高性能激素流动。 |
| 138 | Thanks to the work of Dr. Loretta Bruning and the Mammal Institute, | 感谢洛雷塔·布鲁宁博士和哺乳动物研究所的工作, |
| 139 | we know what happens inside the minds of mammals when you put them in certain situations. | 我们知道当哺乳动物进入某种状态时 其心灵会怎样 |
| 140 | So, for instance, you see the mother and her cub. | 所以,比如说,你可以看到母亲和她的孩子。 |
| 141 | There is a powerful hormone that is richly flowing in this situation. | 有一种强大的激素在这种形势下大量流动. |
| 142 | Some of you know what it is. | 你们有些人知道是什么 |
| 143 | It's oxytocin, not to be confused with oxycontin. | 是催产素,不要和催产素混淆. |
| 144 | When you create connection between two mammals, and we're mammals, so we can learn from this, | 当你在两个哺乳动物之间建立联系, 而我们是哺乳动物, 这样我们可以从中学习, |
| 145 | connection releases oxytocin. | 连接释放催产素. |
| 146 | Well, who cares about oxytocin? | 谁在乎催产素? |
| 147 | Well, oxytocin, when it's present in our brain, it produces a sense of trust, rapport, and bonding. | 催产素,当它存在于我们的大脑里时, 它会产生一种信任感, 亲切感,和亲切感。 |
| 148 | Some of you are thinking, yeah, there are people in my world that I could use more trust with. | 你们中有些人在想,是的,我的世界里有些人需要我更多的信任. |
| 149 | Is there something you can do that creates connection and unlocks oxytocin inside the brain? | 你能做点什么 在大脑里建立连接 解锁催产素吗? |
| 150 | There absolutely is. | 当然有 |
| 151 | What does she see? | 她看见什么了? |
| 152 | Anybody, what does she see? | 有人看到什么了吗? |
| 153 | You can tell by her body language. | 你可以从她的身体语言中得知。 |
| 154 | What is it? | 这是什么? |
| 155 | She sees food. | 她看见食物。 |
| 156 | She sees lunch. | 她看到午饭。 |
| 157 | When a mammal senses possibility, dopamine is released in our brains. | 当哺乳动物感知到可能性时,多巴胺就会在我们大脑中释放出来. |
| 158 | And when dopamine is released, something powerful happens. | 当多巴胺释放出来时, 就会发生一些强大的事情。 |
| 159 | Motivation, creativity, ingenuity, innovation, goal orientation. | 动力,创造力,智慧,创新,目标导向. |
| 160 | If you know somebody who is unmotivated, the first place their therapist will look is their dopamine levels. | 如果你认识一个没有动机的人, 他们的治疗师会首先看 他们的多巴胺水平。 |
| 161 | Is there something you can do that's a benevolent brain hack that will release dopamine inside another person? | 你能做点什么吗? 一个仁慈的大脑黑客 会释放多巴胺在别人体内? |
| 162 | Absolutely. | 当然 |
| 163 | Helping them see a glimmer of possibility, of potential, of opportunity. | 帮助他们看到一丝可能性、潜力和机会。 |
| 164 | Mammals love to outdo each other. | 哺乳动物喜欢互相超越 |
| 165 | It guarantees the survival of our species. | 它保证我们物种的生存。 |
| 166 | We feel intensely pleasurable when we make progress, when we have an achievement, when people value and respect us. | 当我们取得进展、取得成就、人们珍视和尊重我们时,我们感到非常高兴。 |
| 167 | Why do we feel so pleasurable? | 为什么我们这么高兴? |
| 168 | Because serotonin is flowing in our brain. | 因为血清素在我们的大脑里流动 |
| 169 | And when serotonin flows in our brain, we feel invincible. | 而当血清素流入我们的大脑时,我们感到不可战胜. |
| 170 | It unlocks a sense of agency, belief, confidence, self-efficacy. | 它释放出一种代理意识,信念,自信,自我效能. |
| 171 | Is there something you can do that can unlock that inside another person's brain? | 你能在别人的大脑里解锁吗? |
| 172 | There absolutely is. | 当然有 |
| 173 | Partnering with them for progress. | 与它们合作争取进步。 |
| 174 | Now, anybody can connect on what matters most. | 现在,任何人都可以连接 最重要的事情。 |
| 175 | Anyone can help someone see possibility. | 任何人都可以帮助别人看到可能性。 |
| 176 | Anyone can partner for progress. | 任何人都可以成为进步的伙伴。 |
| 177 | Why don't we do it? | 我们为什么不做呢? |
| 178 | The surprising reason we don't do it, | 令人惊讶的是,我们不这样做, |
| 179 | it's not because we're bored in their presence. | 不是因为我们在他们面前无聊 |
| 180 | It's not because we're tethered to our devices. | 不是因为我们的装置被系住了 |
| 181 | We are. | 我们是。 |
| 182 | But here's the big reason. | 但这是个大原因 |
| 183 | You put yourself in other's shoes. | 你自找麻烦了 |
| 184 | And you're going, aren't we supposed to do that? | 你要去,我们不应该这样做吗? |
| 185 | Let me tell you. | 我告诉你 |
| 186 | When you put yourself in someone else's shoes with all of your assumptions, your judgments, your conclusions, your beliefs, | 当你把自己在别人的 假设,你的判断,你的结论,你的信仰, |
| 187 | here's how the narrative goes. | 叙述是这样的 |
| 188 | If I were in your shoes, and what comes out next is your autobiographical fix for their situation. | 如果我在你的鞋里 接下来的是你对她们处境的自传 |
| 189 | This happened to me powerfully several years ago. | 几年前我遇到过这种情况 |
| 190 | My third child, Tyler, was finishing up university in the East Coast. | 我的第三个孩子泰勒 正在东海岸完成大学学业 |
| 191 | I was seated in my dining room, and I got the phone call that every parent dreads. | 我坐在我的餐厅, 我得到了一个电话 每一个家长都害怕。 |
| 192 | Now, the story turns out well, but it was chilling in the moment. | 现在,这个故事的结局很好, 但当时很冷淡。 |
| 193 | He began to describe the situation. | 他开始描述情况. |
| 194 | We're in the hospital, we're going to make it through, but it's been tough. | 我们在医院里,要熬过去,但一直很艰难. |
| 195 | And he described the vehicle. | 他描述了这辆车 |
| 196 | And I'll only keep this slide on for a moment. | 我只保留片刻。 |
| 197 | But the vehicle had rolled several times. | 但是这辆车已经翻了好几次了 |
| 198 | When it landed, it caught on fire. | 它降落时着火了 |
| 199 | Four of them had been able to get out of the vehicle, but his best friend, Holly, had been stuck in the front seat, | 其中四人已经能下车了 但他最好的朋友霍莉被困在前座 |
| 200 | and the door was jammed. | 门卡住了 |
| 201 | She was able to extricate herself from the vehicle. | 她得以从车上解脱出来。 |
| 202 | They grabbed hold of her, and they got far enough away that when the vehicle blew up, none of them lost their lives. | 他们抓住了她,他们走得够远了,当车辆爆炸时,没有人丧生。 |
| 203 | I sat there with unbelievable gratitude on that day that my son Tyler and his four friends had lived through this. | 那天我坐在那 以难以置信的感谢 我儿子泰勒和他的四个朋友 经历了这个。 |
| 204 | We all know it doesn't always happen that way. | 我们都知道事情并不总是这样 |
| 205 | I better move it to the next slide. | 我最好把它移到下一个幻灯片。 |
| 206 | There's my son Tyler. | 我儿子泰勒来了 |
| 207 | The next night, I was out with a friend who knows Tyler very well, and I simply told him the story of what happened to Tyler. | 第二天晚上,我和一个知道 泰勒很好,我只告诉他泰勒的事 |
| 208 | He said, you wouldn't believe what happened to Tyler. | 他说你不会相信泰勒的遭遇 |
| 209 | I told him, no sooner had I finished, and he said, well, you won't believe what happened to me in Chicago last weekend. | 我告诉他,我刚说完 他说,嗯,你不会相信 我上周在芝加哥发生了什么。 |
| 210 | I was slack-jawed because I had put something out there that was so important to me, and it was summarily dismissed. | 我被耍了,因为我把 对我很重要的东西放在那里, 它被立即开除。 |
| 211 | And he told his story. | 他讲了他的故事。 |
| 212 | Because I love my friend and I want to invest in him, I phoned him up the next day and said, could we go out for coffee? | 因为我爱我的朋友 我想投资他, 我打电话给他第二天, 说,我们能出去喝杯咖啡吗? |
| 213 | We went out for coffee. | 我们出去喝咖啡了 |
| 214 | I said, do you remember I told you the story about Tyler? | 我说,你还记得我告诉你泰勒的故事吗? |
| 215 | He said, oh, yeah. | 他说,哦,是的。 |
| 216 | I said, do you remember how you responded? | 我说,你还记得你的反应吗? |
| 217 | He said, not really. | 他说,不是真的。 |
| 218 | I said, well, here's what you said. | 我说,好吧,这是你说的。 |
| 219 | He said, did I actually say that? | 他说,我真的这么说吗? |
| 220 | I can't believe that. | 不可思议. |
| 221 | When I drilled down into what he was trying to achieve, what do you think it was? | 当我钻进他想要达到的目标时 你觉得是什么? |
| 222 | Because it wasn't one-upmanship. | 因为它不是单调。 |
| 223 | What it was was I want a sense of rapport and connection. | 我本来想要一种亲切和联系的感觉 |
| 224 | I want to show you that I understand your Tyler story by sharing mine. | 我想告诉你,我理解 你泰勒的故事 通过分享我的。 |
| 225 | He put himself in my shoes, and he heard enough to respond. | 他把自己的鞋子, 他听到足够的回应。 |
| 226 | That was Thanksgiving several years ago. | 那是几年前的感恩节 |
| 227 | Tyler came home that Christmas, and you can imagine what that was like. | 泰勒在圣诞节回家 你可以想象那是什么样子 |
| 228 | After Christmas, I was out with another friend who knows Tyler well, and I mentioned what had happened to Tyler. | 圣诞节过后,我和另一个知道 泰勒很好,我提到了泰勒的事 |
| 229 | No sooner had I finished, and he said, what was it like the first time you saw him again? | 我还没说完 他说 你第一次见到他是什么感觉? |
| 230 | I said, I was in my basement. | 我说,我在地下室 |
| 231 | I heard him come through the front door. | 我听到他从前门进来了 |
| 232 | I came running up. | 我跑过来了 |
| 233 | I grabbed hold of Tyler, and I hugged him, and I hugged him. | 我抓住泰勒,我拥抱他,我拥抱他。 |
| 234 | I didn't want to let go, because it was the first time I saw him since the accident. | 我不想放手,因为这是事故后我第一次见到他. |
| 235 | My friend invested five seconds. | 我的朋友投资了5秒钟。 |
| 236 | What was it like the first time you saw him again? | 你第一次见到他是什么感觉? |
| 237 | And what happened was another whole layer of what matters most came out of a father who almost lost his son. | 发生的事情是另一层最重要的事情 一个几乎失去儿子的父亲 |
| 238 | My energy level after the first conversation was through the floor. | 我第一次谈话后的能量水平是经过地板的. |
| 239 | My energy level after the second conversation was through the roof. | 第二次谈话后,我的能量水平 穿过屋顶。 |
| 240 | People rarely leave your presence neutral. | 人们很少离开你的中立。 |
| 241 | They will leave your presence engaged or depleted. | 他们会让你的出现失去或消失 |
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