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【双语音+文稿】最棒的演讲之一:提升自我觉察能力,同时一定要

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P1【双语音+文稿】最棒的演讲之一:提升自我觉察能力,同时一定要17:20

P1 · 【双语音+文稿】最棒的演讲之一:提升自我觉察能力,同时一定要远离身边认知低,并缺乏自省的人!(塔莎·尤里希) p01 英文版 (P1)

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时间英文中文
0:12Tennessee Williams once told us,田纳西·威廉姆斯曾经告诉我们
0:15there comes a time when you look into the mirror你看着镜子的时候
0:18and you realize that what you see is all you'll ever be.你意识到你所看到的是你将永远成为的一切
0:22And then you accept it.然后,你接受这一点。
0:25Or you kill yourself.或自杀.
0:28Or you stop looking in mirrors.或止观镜.
0:33And speaking of mirrors, someone else once said,说到镜子 别人曾经说过
0:36if we spend too much time scrutinizing what's in our rear view mirror,如果我们花太多时间 仔细检查我们后视镜里的东西
0:40we're certain to crash into a light post.我们肯定会撞到一个灯塔
0:45I've spent the last four years of my life studying people who look in mirrors,我花了我生命的最后四年 研究那些照镜子的人
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序号英文中文
1Tennessee Williams once told us,田纳西·威廉姆斯曾经告诉我们
2there comes a time when you look into the mirror你看着镜子的时候
3and you realize that what you see is all you'll ever be.你意识到你所看到的是你将永远成为的一切
4And then you accept it.然后,你接受这一点。
5Or you kill yourself.或自杀.
6Or you stop looking in mirrors.或止观镜.
7And speaking of mirrors, someone else once said,说到镜子 别人曾经说过
8if we spend too much time scrutinizing what's in our rear view mirror,如果我们花太多时间 仔细检查我们后视镜里的东西
9we're certain to crash into a light post.我们肯定会撞到一个灯塔
10I've spent the last four years of my life studying people who look in mirrors,我花了我生命的最后四年 研究那些照镜子的人
11rear view and otherwise,后视和其他,
12in their search for self-awareness.寻找自我意识
13I wanted to know what self-awareness really is,我想知道自我意识到底是什么
14where it comes from,从哪里来,
15why we need it,为什么我们需要它,
16and how to get more of it.和如何得到更多的东西。
17My research team surveyed quantitatively thousands of people.我的研究团队调查了数千人
18We analyzed nearly 800 scientific studies.我们分析了近800项科学研究。
19And we conducted dozens of in-depth interviews我们进行了数十次深入的访谈
20with people who made dramatic improvements in their self-awareness.与那些在自我意识上大为改善的人。
21Now, initially, we were actually so worried that we wouldn't find any of these people现在,一开始,我们其实很担心 我们找不到这些人
22that we called them self-awareness unicorns.我们称之为自我意识独角兽。
23True.没错
24But thank goodness we did find them.谢天谢地我们找到他们了
25Because what these unicorns taught me因为这些独角兽教我的
26would create a groundbreaking revelation将开创性启示
27for how all of us can find genuine self-awareness.我们如何找到真正的自我意识。
28And that's what I want to share with you.这就是我要告诉你的。
29Today, I want you to reflect on how you're reflecting.今天,我要你思考你是如何思考的。
30I know that's a mouthful.我知道这是口交。
31And to get there, we're going to need to shatter要赶到那里,我们就要粉碎
32one of the most widely held beliefs about finding self-awareness.找到自我意识的信仰最广泛
33But first things first,不过首先
34what is this thing we call self-awareness anyway?我们称之为自我意识的东西是什么?
35It's the ability to see ourselves clearly,它能清晰地看到我们自己
36to understand who we are,要了解我们是谁,
37how others see us,别人怎么看待我们
38and how we fit into the world.我们如何融入这个世界。
39Self-awareness gives us power.自我意识给了我们力量。
40We might not always like what we see,我们可能并不总是喜欢我们所看到的,
41but there's a comfort in knowing ourselves.但了解我们自己有一点安慰
42And there's actually a ton of research showing that people who are self-aware事实上,有很多研究显示 自我意识的人
43are more fulfilled.更圆满
44They have stronger relationships.他们的关系更牢固
45They're more creative.他们更有创意。
46They're more confident and better communicators.他们更自信,更善于沟通.
47They're less likely to lie, cheat, and steal.他们不太可能撒谎 欺骗和偷窃
48They perform better at work and are more promotable.他们的工作表现更好,而且更能宣传。
49And they're more effective leaders with more profitable companies.并且他们与利润更高的公司是更有效的领导者.
50In the world of self-awareness,在自我意识的世界中,
51there are two types of people.有两种类型的人。
52Those who think they're self-aware以为自我意识的人
53and those who actually are.和那些其实是。
54It's true.这是真的。
55My team has found that 95% of people think they're self-aware,我的团队发现,95%的人 认为他们自觉,
56but the real number但真实数字
57is closer to 10 to 15%.接近10%至15%。
58You know what this means, don't you?你知道这意味着什么吗?
59It means that on a good day,意思是,在一个美好的一天,
60on a good day,在一个美好的一天,
6180% of us are lying to ourselves我们80%的人都在欺骗自己
62about whether we're lying to ourselves.关于我们是否在欺骗自己
63Pretty scary, right?相当恐怖,对不对?
64So you can imagine the challenge we had这样你就能想象我们面对的挑战
65in figuring out who was truly self-aware.找出谁是真正的自我意识。
66What do you think would have happened if I had said,如果我说,你认为会发生什么?
67Hey, how self-aware are you?嘿,你对自己有多了解?
68Exactly.没错
69So to be part of our research,所以作为我们研究的一部分
70our unicorns had to clear four hurdles.我们的独角兽必须清除四个障碍
71They had to believe they were self-aware他们必须相信自己是清醒的
72as measured by an assessment my team developed and validated.根据我的团队制定和鉴定的评估
73Using that same assessment,利用同样的评估,
74someone who knew them well had to agree.认识他们的人必须同意
75They had to believe that they'd increased their self-awareness in their life,他们不得不相信,他们在生活中提高了自我意识,
76and the person rating them had to agree.而评分他们必须同意。
77We found 50 people out of hundreds and hundreds and hundreds我们发现50人 几百人和几百人
78who met our criteria.他们符合我们的标准。
79They were professionals, entrepreneurs, artists, students,他们是专业人士,企业家,艺术家,学生,
80stay-at-home parents,留在家里的父母,
81and we didn't find any patterns by industry,我们没有发现任何行业模式
82age, gender, or any other demographic characteristic.年龄、性别或任何其他人口特征。
83These unicorns helped my team discover a most surprising truth.这些独角兽帮助我的团队发现了一个最令人惊讶的事实.
84That approach you're using to examine your thoughts,你用来检查你的想法的方法
85your feelings, and your motives, you know, introspection?你的感受,你的动机,你知道的,回顾?
86Well, you're probably doing it.好吧,你可能这样做。
87There's no easy way to say this.说这话可不容易
88You're probably doing it totally wrong.你可能做错了
89Yes, there is a reason so few of us are self-aware.是的,我们当中很少有人有自我意识。
90So let me tell you about the evening让我告诉你晚上的事
91that I first discovered the ugly truth about introspection.我首先发现了关于内在回顾的丑陋真相。
92It was about 10 p.m. on a beautiful Colorado spring evening,在美丽的科罗拉多州春晚的晚上10点左右
93and I was in my office, hopped up on diet coke and smart food popcorn,我在我的办公室, 跳上饮食焦炭和智能食品爆米花,
94and I had just analyzed a set of data,我刚刚分析了一组数据
95and to say that I was surprised would be an understatement.并说,我很惊讶 会是一个轻描淡写。
96My team and I had just run a simple study我和我的团队刚刚做了一个简单的研究
97looking at the relationship between introspection审视反省之间的关系
98and things like happiness, stress, and job satisfaction.快乐 压力 工作满足
99Naturally, the people who introspected would be better off.自然而然,内审之人,会更胜.
100Wouldn't you think so?你不这么认为吗?
101Our data told the exact opposite story.我们的数据正好相反
102People who introspected were more stressed and depressed,反省的人 更紧张和沮丧,
103less satisfied with their jobs and their relationships,对她们的工作和关系不太满意,
104less in control of their lives.控制不了他们的生活
105I had no idea what was going on, and it got worse.我不知道发生了什么, 事情变得更糟。
106These negative consequences increased the more they introspected,这些负面后果越是加重,
107so I was quite confused.我当时很困惑
108Later that week, I ended up coming across a 20-year-old study那星期晚些时候,我来到一个20年的书房
109that looked at how widowers adjusted to life without their partners.他们研究了鳏夫如何适应没有伴侣的生活。
110The researchers found that those who tried to understand the meaning of their loss研究者发现,那些试图理解损失意义的人
111were happier, less depressed one month later,一个月后更快乐 更不抑郁
112but one year later were more depressed.但一年之后 更郁闷。
113They were fixated on what happened instead of moving forward.他们执着于所发生的事件而不是前进。
114Have you been there?你去过那里吗?
115I have.没错
116Self-analysis can trap us in a mental hell of our own making.自我分析会把我们困在自己制造的精神地狱中.
117So things were starting to make sense.事情开始变得有意义了
118Now, you die-hard self-awareness fans,现在,你们这些坚硬的自我意识爱好者,
119and particularly introspection fans in the audience,特别是观众中的反省粉丝,
120might be thinking, sure, introspection may be depressing,可能是在想,当然,回顾 可能令人沮丧,
121but it's worth it because of the insight it produces.但它值得,因为它所产生的洞察力。
122And you're right.你说得对
123I am not here today to tell you that the pursuit of self-awareness is a waste of time.我今天在这里不是要告诉你,追求自我意识是浪费时间。
124Not at all.一点也不
125I am here to tell you that the way you're pursuing it doesn't work.我是来告诉你 你追求的方法行不通
126Here's the surprising reality.这是令人惊讶的现实。
127Thinking about ourselves isn't related to knowing ourselves.思考自己与了解自己无关.
128So to understand this, let's look at the most common introspective question.因此,为了理解这一点,让我们来看看最常见的内观问题.
129Why?为什么?
130We might be searching for the cause of a bad mood.我们可能在找坏情绪的原因
131Why am I so upset after that fight with my friend?和我的朋友吵架后我为什么这么生气?
132Or we might be questioning our beliefs.或者我们在质疑我们的信仰
133Why don't I believe in the death penalty?我为何不相信死刑?
134Or we might be trying to understand a negative outcome.或者我们可能试图理解一个负面的结果。
135Why did I choke in that meeting?为什么我在那个会议上窒息?
136Unfortunately, when we ask why,不幸的是,当我们问为什么,
137it doesn't lead us towards the truth about ourselves.这并不能让我们发现我们自己的真相。
138It leads us away from it.它使我们远离它。
139There are so many reasons this is the case.情况如此之多。
140Today, I'll give you two.今以二'.
141Here's the first reason we shouldn't ask why.这是第一个我们不该问的原因。
142Researchers have found that no matter how hard we try,研究人员发现无论我们多么努力
143we can't excavate our unconscious thoughts, feelings, and motives.我们无法挖掘我们无意识的想法、感情和动机。
144And because so much is hidden from our conscious awareness,因为如此之多隐藏在我们意识中
145we end up inventing answers that feel true but are often very wrong.我们最终会发明出一些感觉真实但往往非常错误的答案。
146Let me give you an example.让我举个例子。
147心理学家Timothy Wilson和Richard Nisbet 设置了一张纸牌桌
148outside their local Meyers thrifty store in Ann Arbor, Michigan.在密歇根州安阿伯的梅耶斯节俭店外
149And on that card table,在纸牌桌上
150they laid out four identical pairs of pantyhose.他们放了四双相同的裤子
151And they asked the people walking by to pick their favorite.他们要求路过的人挑选他们最喜欢的。
152Now, consumer research shows that people tend to prefer products on the right.现在,消费者的研究表明,人们倾向于偏爱右边的产品.
153And that's exactly what happened.事情就是这样的
154Even though every pair was identical,虽然每对都一样,
155people chose pair D at a rate of four to one.人们以4比1的速度选择了配对D.
156And when asked why they had chosen the pair they had,当他们被问到为什么他们选择了他们的配对的时候,
157they confidently declared that pair D was just better.他们自信地宣称,D对只是更好。
158And even, get this, even when the researchers told them about the effect of positioning,即使研究者告诉他们定位的效果
159they refused to believe it.他们拒绝相信
160The second reason asking why is a bad idea is that it leads us away from our true nature.问为什么这是个坏主意的第二个原因是它使我们远离了我们真正的本性.
161We like to think of our brains as supercomputers,我们喜欢把大脑当成超级计算机
162rationally analyzing information and arriving at accurate conclusions.合理分析信息,得出准确结论.
163Unfortunately, that's not what happens.不幸的是,事情不是这样的
164Let's do a quick exercise that's based on another classic psychology study.让我们根据另一个经典的心理学研究做一个快速的练习.
165So if I were to ask you to make a list所以,如果我问你 列出一个清单
166of all the reasons your romantic relationship was going the way it was,你浪漫的恋情一直如此
167what would you say?你会说什么?
168Let's say that in general, your relationship is pretty awesome.这么说吧 总的来说 你们的关系相当棒
169But let's just pretend that yesterday you happened to get in a huge fight但是,让我们只是假装 昨天你碰巧 在一场大战斗
170about the proper way to load the dishwasher.关于装上洗碗机的正确方法
171It's really bad.这真的很糟。
172Now, because of something called the recency effect,现在,由于某种叫复健效应的东西,
173this is going to carry an unfair amount of weight.这会带来不公平的重量。
174You might start thinking of things like, I am so sick of his mansplaining.你可能会开始想类似的事情, 我太厌倦他的演讲。
175Or you might think, why the hell does it matter so much how I load the dishwasher?或者你可能会想,为什么它有这么重要 我装载洗碗机?
176And before you know it, you're thinking your relationship isn't going so well.在你知道之前,你认为你的关系不太顺利
177Asking why created alternative facts.问为什么创造其他事实。
178And over time, this leads us away from who we really are.随着时间推移,这让我们远离真正的我们。
179It clouds our self-perceptions.它使我们的自我认知蒙上阴影。
180So you might be wondering, if asking why makes us depressed,所以你可能会想,如果问 为什么让我们沮丧,
181overconfident, and wrong,过度自信,错误的,
182it's probably not going to increase our self-awareness.它可能不会提高我们的自我意识。
183But don't worry, I am not here today to tell you to stop thinking about yourselves.但不用担心,我今天不是来告诉你 停止思考自己。
184I am here to tell you to start doing it just a little bit differently.我在这里告诉你开始做它 只是一点点不同。
185So if we shouldn't ask why, then what should we ask?所以,如果我们不应该问为什么,那我们应该问什么呢?
186Do you remember our self-awareness unicorns?你还记得我们的自觉独角兽吗?
187When we looked at how they approached introspection, we found the answer.当我们观察他们如何进行反思时,我们找到了答案。
188We analyzed literally hundreds of pages of transcripts, and we saw a very clear pattern.我们分析了几百页的记录,我们看到了一个非常明确的模式。
189Although the word why appeared less than 150 times,虽然这个字为什么出现不到150次,
190the word what appeared more than 1,000 times.这个词出现了一千多次。
191Let me give you a few examples.让我举几个例子。
192Nathan, a brand manager, got a terrible performance review from his new boss.内森,一个品牌经理,从他的新老板那里得到了可怕的业绩审查.
193Instead of asking, why are we like oil and water?我们为什么喜欢石油和水?
194He asked, what can I do to show her I'm the best person for this job?他问,我能做什么 让她知道我是最好的人选吗?
195It changed everything.它改变了一切。
196People now point to Nathan and his boss as proof that polar opposites can work together.人们现在指向内森和他的老板,以此证明极对立面可以合作.
197Sarah, an education leader, was diagnosed with breast cancer in her late 40s.教育领袖莎拉40岁后被诊断患有乳腺癌.
198And when she asked why me, she said it felt like a death sentence.当她问我为什么, 她说这感觉就像一个死刑判决。
199So then she asked, what's most important to me?然后她问,什么对我最重要?
200This helped her define what she wanted her life to look like in whatever time she had left.这帮助她定义了在她离开的任何时候 她希望她的生活是什么样子。
201She's now cancer-free and more focused on the relationships that mean the most to her.她现在没有癌症了 更专注于对她来说最重要的关系
202Jose, an entertainment industry veteran, hated his job.Jose,娱乐行业的老兵,讨厌他的工作.
203And instead of getting stuck what most of us would do and ask, why do I feel so terrible?而不是被困住 我们大多数人会做什么 问,为什么我感到如此可怕?
204He asked, what are the situations that make me feel terrible and what do they have in common?他问,是什么情况让我感到可怕,有什么共同点?
205He quickly realized that he would never be happy in his job,他很快意识到他的工作永远不会快乐,
206and it gave him the courage to pursue a new and far more fulfilling career path as a wealth manager.它给了他勇气 去追求一条新的 更富有成就的事业之路 作为一个财富管理者。
207So these are just three examples of dozens of unicorns that ask what instead of why.这些只是数十种独角兽的 三个例子,它们问为什么,而不是为什么。
208Do I have any Nathan's or Sarah's or Jose's in the room?我房间有内森或莎拉或何塞的吗?
209I'll add one more, Tasha.再加一个,塔莎
210So earlier this year, I published a book about all of this, which I am so proud of.因此,今年早些时候,我出版了一本关于这一切的书,我为此感到自豪。
211But one day, for some unknown reason, I did what every author is never supposed to do.但有一天,不知为什么 我做了每个作者都不该做的事
212I read my Amazon reviews.我读了我的亚马逊评论。
213And you guys, it was devastating.而你们,这是毁灭性的。
214I asked, why are people being so mean to me about a book that I spent thousands of hours researching我问,为什么人们对我这么刻薄 关于一本书 我花了几千小时研究
215and wrote to make their lives better, right?并写信让他们的生活更好,对不对?
216I fell into a spiral of self-loathing.我陷入了自我厌恶的螺旋
217It was honestly one of the low points of my life.老实说,那是我人生的低点之一。
218A couple of weeks went by, and it dawned on me that maybe I should take my own advice.几个星期过去了 我突然意识到 也许我应该接受我的建议
219So I tried a different question.所以我尝试了一个不同的问题。
220I asked, what about all those people who were telling me that my book has helped them change their lives?我问,那些告诉我 我的书帮助他们改变生活的人怎么办?
221What a different outcome.多么不同的结果。
222So no, I wasn't doing it right either.所以,不,我做错了。
223This is not an easy world, is it?这不是一个容易的世界,是吗?
224Not at all.一点也不
225She knows.笵
226We all know.我们都知道。
227But I have seen, I have seen so much evidence that self-awareness gives us a much better shot at finding happiness但我看到,我看到很多证据 自我意识给我们找到幸福的机会
228and success in this crazy world.和在这个疯狂的世界中的成功。
229To start, we just need to change one simple word.首先,我们只需要改变一个简单的词。
230Change why to what.改变为甚么.
231Why questions trap us in that rearview mirror.为什么问题把我们困在后视镜里?
232What questions move us forward to our future.是什么问题促使我们走向未来。
233As human beings, we are blessed with the ability to understand who we are,作为人类,我们拥有理解自己的能力
234what we want to contribute, and the kind of life we want to lead.我们想贡献什么,想要过什么样的生活。
235Remember, our self-awareness unicorns had nothing in common记住,我们的自我意识独角兽没有共同点
236except a belief in the importance of self-awareness and a daily commitment to developing it.但相信自我意识的重要性和每天致力于发展自我意识除外。
237That means we can all be unicorns.也就是说我们都可以成为独角兽
238The search for self-awareness never ever stops.自我意识的探索从未停止过。
239Life goes on.命终继续.
240It's up to us to choose to learn and grow from our mistakes and our tragedies and our successes.要由我们自己选择从我们的错误,悲剧和成功中学习和成长.
241One of the best quotes I've ever heard on this subject is from Rumi.我听过的关于这个话题的最好的引言之一是来自鲁米.
242He said,他说,
243Yesterday, I was clever, so I wanted to change the world.昨天我很聪明 所以我想改变世界
244Today, I'm wise, so I'm changing myself.今我智,故自变也.
245Thank you very much.谢谢
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