社交资本的心理学：为什么有些女性总能拥有对的人脉

发布于 2026-10-16 · 时长 14:52

字幕摘录

时间	英文	中文
0:00	There are certain advantages in life that never appear on a resume.	生活上的某些优势从未出现在简历中.
0:04	Sometimes they are as simple as knowing exactly who to call when you need advice,	有时,他们就像知道确切的是谁当你需要建议,
0:09	or having someone in your circle who can introduce you to the right person.	或者在你的圈子里有人可以给你介绍合适的人
0:13	Maybe you hear about an opportunity simply because someone thought to mention it to you,	也许你听到一个机会只是因为有人想告诉你
0:17	or you walk into an unfamiliar room and realize you already know someone who can tell you how	或者你走进一个陌生的房间发现你已经知道有人谁可以告诉你如何
0:23	things work.	东西工作。
0:24	We often think about success in terms of what we have individually.	我们常常从我们个人的角度来看待成功。
0:28	Our education,	我们的教育,
0:29	our skills, our knowledge, our money, our experience.	我们的技能,我们的知识,我们的钱,我们的经验。
0:34	But there is another kind of value	但还有另一种价值

展开字幕全文（285 条）

序号	英文	中文
1	There are certain advantages in life that never appear on a resume.	生活上的某些优势从未出现在简历中.
2	Sometimes they are as simple as knowing exactly who to call when you need advice,	有时,他们就像知道确切的是谁当你需要建议,
3	or having someone in your circle who can introduce you to the right person.	或者在你的圈子里有人可以给你介绍合适的人
4	Maybe you hear about an opportunity simply because someone thought to mention it to you,	也许你听到一个机会只是因为有人想告诉你
5	or you walk into an unfamiliar room and realize you already know someone who can tell you how	或者你走进一个陌生的房间发现你已经知道有人谁可以告诉你如何
6	things work.	东西工作。
7	We often think about success in terms of what we have individually.	我们常常从我们个人的角度来看待成功。
8	Our education,	我们的教育,
9	our skills, our knowledge, our money, our experience.	我们的技能,我们的知识,我们的钱,我们的经验。
10	But there is another kind of value	但还有另一种价值
11	that exists outside the individual.	存在于个人之外。
12	It exists in the relationships around us.	它存在于我们周围的关系中。
13	Sometimes an	有时
14	opportunity does not come from what you know, but from who knows you.	机会不是来自你知道的而是来自谁认识你。
15	And sometimes what changes	有时什么变化
16	your path is not a new qualification, but a conversation with someone who happens to know	你的道路不是新资格,而是和某个碰巧知道的人谈话
17	you.	你们
18	Sociologists have a name for this, social capital.	社会学家有这个名字,社会资本.
19	It refers to the resources, information,	它提到资源、信息、
20	support, and opportunities that can become available through relationships, networks,	支持和通过关系、网络、
21	and membership in social groups.	参加社会团体。
22	And once you start looking at life through this lens,	一旦你开始通过这个镜头看待生活
23	relationships begin to look slightly different.	关系开始变得有些不同。
24	The question is no longer simply, who do I know?	问题不再简单,我认识谁?
25	It becomes, what can our relationships make possible?	我们的关系会怎样?
26	Why do certain connections open doors	为什么某些连接打开门
27	to worlds that others never encounter?	去别人从未见过的世界?
28	Why can two people with similar abilities have	为什么两个能力相似的人
29	very different access to information and opportunities?	获得信息和机会的机会截然不同?
30	And how much of our social	多少我们的社交
31	world is shaped by the networks we happen to be born into compared with the ones we build for	世界是由我们所诞生的网络和我们所建设的网络塑造的
32	ourselves?	我们自己?
33	To understand that, we first need to understand what social capital actually is.	为了了解这一点,我们首先需要了解什么是社会资本。
34	The word capital usually makes us think about money, but sociologist Pierre Bourdieu used the	资本这个词通常让我们思考钱的问题,但社会学家皮埃尔·布尔迪厄(Pierre Bourdieu)使用
35	idea much more broadly.	更广义的观念。
36	He argued that there are different forms of capital, each of which	他主张资本有不同形式,每种形式
37	can provide resources and advantages in different social contexts.	可在不同的社会环境中提供资源和优势。
38	Economic capital is the most	经济资本最多
39	obvious.	很明显
40	It is money and material resources.	这是金钱和物质资源。
41	Cultural capital is different.	文化资本不同.
42	It includes	它包括
43	knowledge, education, skills, tastes, and ways of understanding and navigating cultural environments.	知识、教育、技能、品味以及理解和导航文化环境的方法。
44	And then there is social capital, which exists through our relationships with other people.	社会资本,通过我们与其他人的关系存在。
45	The simplest way to think about it is this.	最简单的思考方法是这个。
46	Social capital is the value that can become	社会资本是能够成为
47	available to us through the networks we belong to.	我们可以通过我们所属的网络获得。
48	A former classmate might tell you about an	前同学可能会告诉你
49	opportunity before it is widely advertised.	在广泛宣传之前,
50	A mentor might introduce you to someone working	有个导师会给你介绍一个工作的人
51	in a field you are trying to enter.	在您想要进入的字段中。
52	Or a community might give you information that would have taken	或者一个社区可能会给你信息,本来会
53	you months to discover on your own.	几个月后自己发现
54	Even a casual acquaintance can sometimes connect you to a	甚至一个偶然的熟人有时也会联系到你
55	completely different social world.	完全不同的社会世界。
56	But this is where social capital becomes more interesting	但这里社会资本越来越有趣
57	than simply saying that knowing people is useful.	而不是简单地说认识别人是有用的。
58	Social capital is not the same thing as popularity.	社会资本与受欢迎程度不同.
59	Having hundreds of followers does not automatically mean you have strong social capital,	拥有数百个追随者并不自动意味着你有强大的社会资本,
60	just as having a long contact list does not necessarily mean those relationships can provide	联系人名单很长并不一定意味着这些关系可以提供
61	meaningful information, trust, or support.	有意义的信息、信任或支持。
62	What matters is the network itself and the relationships	重要的是网络本身和关系
63	within it.	在它内部。
64	Relationships can carry information, create trust, make introductions possible,	关系可以携带信息,建立信任,使介绍成为可能,
65	and help people cooperate, exchange knowledge, and recognize one another as part of the same community.	并且帮助人们合作,交流知识,并承认彼此是同一社区的一部分。
66	And that means social capital is not simply something you collect.	这意味着社会资本不仅仅是你收集的。
67	It is something that	这件事情
68	develops through relationships, participation, and belonging.	通过关系、参与和归属发展。
69	Think about someone you have known	想想你认识的人
70	for years.	几年来
71	They might be able to give you advice because they understand you and your circumstances.	他们也许能给你建议因为他们了解你和你的情况
72	Or perhaps someone you met only once remembers you when an opportunity appears because the	或许你只见过一个人记得你的机会出现是因为
73	interaction left an impression.	互动留下了一个印象。
74	A professional community can become valuable in a similar way	专业社区可以同样的方式变得有价值
75	because the people within it share knowledge and are willing to help one another.	因为里面的人分享知识,并且愿意互相帮助。
76	So when we talk	所以,当我们说话
77	about social capital, we are not really talking about how many people are in your network.	关于社会资本,我们不是真正谈论有多少人在你的网络。
78	We are	我们是
79	talking about what exists between those people.	谈论着这些人之间的存在
80	And once we understand that, another question	一旦我们明白了,另一个问题
81	becomes much more interesting.	变得有趣多了
82	If relationships can give us access to information and opportunities,	如果关系可以让我们获得信息和机会,
83	what happens when our networks begin to connect us to entirely different worlds?	当我们的网络开始连接我们与完全不同的世界?
84	That is where the	这是在那里
85	power of a network becomes especially visible.	一个网络的力量变得特别明显。
86	Have you ever spent enough time around someone	你花足够的时间在别人身边
87	that, without really noticing, you started adopting some of their expressions, habits,	在没有注意到的情况下你开始接受他们的一些表达方式和习惯
88	or attitudes?	还是态度?
89	Maybe you started exercising because your friend exercises regularly,	也许你开始锻炼是因为你的朋友经常锻炼
90	or became more ambitious after spending time around people who constantly talked about their goals.	或变得更有雄心在那些不断谈论自己目标的人身边
91	And sometimes, it works in the opposite direction.	有时,它的工作方向相反。
92	If everyone around you complains about everything,	如果你周围的人都抱怨一切
93	you may eventually find yourself doing the same.	你最终可能会发现自己也一样
94	This isn't necessarily coincidence.	这不一定是巧合
95	Humans are	人类是
96	social creatures.	社会生物。
97	We learn by observing other people, comparing ourselves with them,	我们通过观察别人学习和他们比较
98	and using our social environment as a reference point for what feels normal.	并以我们的社会环境为参照点来衡量什么是正常的
99	Imagine growing up surrounded by people who read, learn new skills, discuss ideas,	想象一下,在成长的过程中, 周围的人阅读,学习新的技能,讨论想法,
100	and encourage one another to pursue ambitious goals.	并鼓励彼此追求宏伟目标。
101	Those behaviors may simply become part	这些行为可能只是成为一部分
102	of your definition of normal.	你定义的正常。
103	Now, imagine growing up in an environment where ambition is mocked,	现在,想象一下在野心被嘲笑的环境中长大,
104	change is discouraged, and failure is treated as something shameful.	变革是受挫的,失败被视为可耻的东西。
105	You might begin to limit	你可能会开始限制
106	yourself, not because you lack potential, but because your environment has taught you to	并不是因为你缺乏潜力而是因为你的环境教你
107	expect less.	期望减少。
108	Of course, the people around you don't determine your destiny.	当然,你身边的人不能决定你的命运
109	We can change our	我们可以改变
110	environments, resist social pressure, and build lives that look completely different from the	环境,抵御社会压力,建设与人类完全不同的生活
111	ones we grew up around.	我们一起长大的
112	But our environment creates friction.	但是我们的环境造成了摩擦。
113	When everyone around you	当大家在你身边
114	is trying to improve, improvement can feel natural.	正在试图改善, 改善可以感觉自然。
115	When everyone around you discourages	当你周围的人都灰心
116	change, it can require much more effort.	变革需要付出更多的努力。
117	So instead of asking only, are the people around	所以,与其只问, 周围的人
118	me successful?	我成功了吗?
119	Ask something more revealing.	问更显性.
120	What behaviors does my environment make easier?	我的环境会让什么行为变得更加容易?
121	And perhaps most importantly, what version of myself becomes easier to be around these people?	也许最重要的是,在这些人身边,我哪一个版本变得更容易?
122	Because our relationships don't just influence what we do, they influence what we see as normal.	因为我们的关系不仅仅影响我们的工作,它们也影响着我们所认为的正常.
123	And that becomes even more interesting when we look at the different kinds of relationships	当我们看不同的关系时,这更有趣
124	within a network.	在一个网络中。
125	You might assume that the people closest to you would naturally be the	你可能认为最接近你的人自然是
126	people who provide you with the most opportunities.	提供你最多机会的人
127	After all, they're the people who know your history,	毕竟他们都是了解你历史的人
128	understand your circumstances, and usually know you better than anyone else.	了解你的处境通常比任何人都了解你
129	But when it comes	但当它出现时
130	to discovering something genuinely new, your closest relationships aren't always the ones that	发现一些真正的新事物, 你们最亲密的关系并不总是那些
131	offer you the most new information.	提供最新的信息。
132	This is the idea behind sociologist Mark Granovetter's	这是社会学家马克·格拉诺维特的主意
133	famous concept of the strength of weak ties.	弱纽带的强项的著名概念.
134	Your closest friends often share many of the same	你最亲密的朋友经常分享很多相同的东西
135	experiences, communities, and information that you do.	经验,社区和信息,你做的。
136	They're incredibly important,	他们非常重要
137	but there can be a lot of overlap between your social worlds.	但是你们社会世界之间可能有很多重叠
138	Then there are the weaker	还有弱者
139	connections.	连接。
140	A former colleague, someone you met at university, an acquaintance from a conference,	一个前同事,你在大学认识的人一个会议的朋友,
141	or a person you occasionally speak to.	或者偶尔和你说话的人
142	You may not know them particularly well,	你可能不太了解他们,
143	but they might work in another industry, live in another city, or belong to a completely different	但是他们可能在另一个行业工作, 生活在另一个城市, 或者属于一个完全不同的
144	community.	社区。
145	And suddenly, they can become a bridge.	突然间,他们就成了一座桥。
146	They might tell you about an opportunity you would	他们可能会告诉你一个机会你会
147	never have found, introduce you to someone you would never have encountered, or give you	从来没有找到,介绍你的人你永远不会遇到,或给你
148	information that simply wasn't available within your immediate circle.	完全没有在你周围的信息。
149	It's almost like thinking	简直就像在思考
150	about your social network as a city.	关于你的社交网络作为一个城市。
151	Your closest relationships may take you along the same familiar	你最亲近的恋情可能带给你同样熟悉的
152	streets, while weaker ties can connect you to neighborhoods you've never visited.	街道,而薄弱的纽带可以连接你与邻里你从来没有去过。
153	That's why	这就是为什么
154	expanding your network can be valuable.	扩展您的网络是有价值的。
155	Not because every person you meet needs to become a	不是因为你遇到的每个人都需要成为
156	close friend, but because different relationships can connect you to different worlds.	亲密的朋友, 但因为不同的关系可以连接到不同的世界。
157	But there's	但还有
158	an important distinction.	一个重要的区别。
159	Networking becomes unhealthy when every relationship becomes a	网络变得不健康当每一个关系变成一个
160	People can sense when you're speaking to them only because you want something.	当你和他们说话时人们能感觉到因为你想要的东西
161	Healthy social	健康的社会
162	capital is built through reciprocity.	资本是通过互惠方式建立的。
163	You help when you can, share information, make introductions,	你可以帮忙,分享情报,介绍一下
164	listen, and sometimes give without expecting an immediate return.	听着,有时在不期待立即返回的情况下提供。
165	Over time, those interactions	随着时间的推移,这些互动
166	create something more valuable than a contact list.	创建比联系人列表更有价值的东西。
167	Trust.	信义.
168	And trust is what allows a relationship to	信任是能够和
169	become a real source of social capital.	成为社会资本的真正来源。
170	Social capital isn't only about careers, introductions,	社会资本不只是关于职业,介绍,
171	and opportunities.	和机会。
172	It's also connected to something much more fundamental.	也与更根本的东西有关.
173	Belonging.	属于自己。
174	You can sit in a crowded room and feel completely isolated, while sitting with two close friends	你可以坐在一个拥挤的房间感觉完全孤立, 而坐在两个亲密的朋友
175	can leave you feeling deeply understood.	让你感觉很明白
176	That's because connection isn't simply about being around	那是因为联系不仅仅是在身边
177	people.	人们
178	It's about feeling known, accepted, and able to participate without constantly feeling	这是关于感知,接受, 并且能够参与,没有不断的感觉
179	like you're performing.	就像你在表演一样
180	And psychologically, that matters.	心理上来说这很重要
181	When we have relationships where	当我们有关系在哪里
182	we feel trusted and valued, we have places where we don't constantly have to prove our worth.	我们感到信任和珍视, 我们有的地方,我们不总是证明我们的价值。
183	We have people who care when something goes wrong, celebrate when something goes right,	我们有人在乎什么是错的, 庆祝什么是错的,
184	and make difficult experiences feel less solitary.	并让艰难的经历感觉不那么孤独。
185	Belonging can also influence the	归属也可以影响
186	way we see ourselves.	我们自以为是
187	If the people around you consistently treat you as capable, creative,	如果你周围的人一直把你当成有能力,有创造力的人
188	trustworthy, or resilient, those social reflections can gradually become part of your own identity.	值得信赖或有弹性的这些社会反思可以逐渐成为你自身身份的一部分.
189	The opposite can happen too.	反之亦可能发生.
190	Constant criticism, disrespect, or people who repeatedly undermine	不断的批评,不尊重,或反复破坏的人
191	you can affect how you begin to see yourself.	你可以影响你如何开始看到自己。
192	But there's another side to belonging that is easy to	但另一边的归属是容易的
193	Sometimes, what we gain from our relationships is knowledge we didn't even realize we were missing.	有时候,我们从我们的关系中得到的是知识,我们甚至没有意识到我们失踪了。
194	Someone might teach you how to approach a person in your field, explain how a particular industry	或许有人会教你如何接近你领域的人解释一个特定的行业
195	works, tell you about an opportunity before it becomes public, or simply show you that a certain	工作,告诉你一个机会在它变得公开之前, 或者只是告诉你一个特定的
196	path is possible.	路径是可能的。
197	For some people, this kind of knowledge is almost invisible because it has	对有些人来说,这种知识几乎是隐形的,因为它
198	always been part of their environment.	永远是他们环境的一部分。
199	They grew up hearing people talk about certain careers.	他们从小就听到人们谈论某些职业
200	They knew who to ask for advice.	他们知道该问谁的意见。
201	They understood how to navigate unfamiliar situations because	他们懂得如何导航陌生情况因为
202	someone had already shown them how.	有人已经教他们怎么做了
203	For others, those same things have to be discovered alone.	对其他人来说,同样的事物必须单独发现。
204	And that is one of the less visible forms of social capital.	这是不太明显的社会资本形式之一。
205	It isn't always the introduction	这不是总的介绍
206	itself.	它本身。
207	Sometimes, it's knowing what to ask, who to ask, and how the world works once you're inside	有时候,它知道该问什么, 问谁,
208	the room.	房间。
209	This is why social capital can create very different experiences for people who may	这就是为什么社会资本可以为那些可能
210	have similar abilities.	拥有相似的能力。
211	One person may have the skills but not know where to direct them.	一个人可能具备技能,但不知道如何指导他们。
212	Another	又一个
213	may have the same skills and a network that helps them understand where those skills can take them.	可能拥有同样的技能和一个网络,帮助他们了解这些技能可以带给他们哪些方面。
214	But perhaps the most interesting part is that social capital doesn't have to stop with the	但也许最有趣的是社会资本不必停止
215	person who receives it.	接受它的人,谁接受它。
216	When someone gives you advice, makes an introduction, or teaches you	当有人给你建议、介绍或教你
217	something they once had to learn themselves, you can eventually pass that knowledge on to someone	他们曾经不得不学习的东西, 你最终可以把知识传递给某人
218	else.	别的
219	You haven't lost anything by sharing it.	你没有失去任何东西通过分享它。
220	You've multiplied it.	你已经倍增了。
221	And suddenly, social capital	突然间,社会资本
222	becomes more than something that benefits individuals.	成为更有利于个人的东西。
223	It becomes something that can move	变成可以移动的东西
224	through people.	通过人。
225	Which brings us to the question of how we can create more of it, both for ourselves	这让我们想到了我们如何创造更多为我们自己
226	and for the people around us.	和我们周围的人。
227	So if social capital is built through relationships, trust,	所以,如果社会资本通过关系,信任,
228	knowledge, and contribution, how do we actually create more of it?	知识和贡献,我们如何真正创造更多的知识?
229	The obvious answer might be	很明显的答案可能是
230	network more, attend more events, meet more people, collect more contacts.	更多的网络,更多的活动, 会见更多的人,收集更多的联系。
231	But meaningful	但有意义的
232	social capital doesn't come from collecting people.	社会资本不是来自收集人。
233	It starts with contribution.	它从贡献开始。
234	Instead of asking,	而不是问,
235	what can this person do for me?	这个人能为我做什么?
236	Ask, what can I contribute here?	问,我在这里有什么贡献?
237	You might introduce two people	你可以介绍两个人
238	who would genuinely benefit from knowing each other, share something useful with someone who	真正能从彼此认识中受益的人和那些
239	mentioned an interest, or simply be the person who listens when someone needs support.	提到某种兴趣,或者只是当某人需要支持时听话的人。
240	These actions	这些行动
241	seem small, but relationships are built through repeated interactions.	似乎很小,但关系是通过反复互动建立起来的。
242	That's why it also helps	这就是为什么它也帮助
243	to go where meaningful relationships can develop naturally.	自然发展有意义的关系。
244	If you're interested in entrepreneurship,	如果你对创业感兴趣
245	spend time in entrepreneurial communities.	将时间花在创业社区。
246	If you're interested in art, participate in	如果你对艺术感兴趣,参加
247	creative spaces.	创造空间。
248	If there's a field you want to understand, join the communities already built	如果有你想知道的田地加入已经建成的社区
249	around it.	围绕它。
250	One encounter can create a connection.	一次相遇可以产生连接.
251	Repeated participation gives that connection	重复参与提供了这种联系
252	somewhere to go.	找个地方去
253	And when you meet someone you genuinely like or respect, stay in touch.	当你遇到你真正喜欢或尊重的人时保持联系
254	Over time,	随着时间的推移,
255	familiarity can become trust, and trust gives a relationship depth.	熟悉可以成为信任,信任可以给予一种关系深度.
256	It also helps to diversify	它还有助于多样化
257	your social world.	你的社会世界。
258	If everyone you know works in the same field, comes from similar backgrounds,	如果你认识的每个人都在同一领域工作, 来自相似的背景,
259	and thinks in similar ways, your network may be large without actually expanding your perspective.	并且以类似的方式认为,你的网络可能是庞大的,而实际上并没有扩展你的观点.
260	Sometimes, the most valuable relationship is the one that introduces you to something you	有时候,最有价值的关系是介绍给你的东西
261	weren't looking for.	不是在寻找。
262	And remember what we talked about earlier.	记得我们之前说过的话
263	Social capital can be passed on.	社会资本可以传承.
264	If someone gives you advice that changes the way you see an opportunity, share that knowledge with	如果有人给你建议改变你看待机会的方式
265	someone else.	别人
266	If someone introduces you to a person who helps you move forward, become the person who	如果有人给你介绍一个帮助你前进的人, 成为那个
267	makes that kind of introduction for someone else.	给别人做这样的介绍
268	Because unlike money, social capital doesn't	因为不像钱,社会资本不会
269	necessarily become smaller when you give it away.	当你把它送走时一定变小了
270	Sometimes, giving someone access creates more	有时候,给人访问创造更多的
271	access.	进入。
272	And finally, don't confuse access with value.	最后,不要将访问与价值混淆.
273	Knowing someone can open a door.	知道有人能开一扇门
274	But what	但怎样
275	happens after that depends on your own ability, judgment, character, and contribution.	之后的发生取决于你的能力,判断,性格和贡献.
276	A connection	连接
277	can create an introduction.	可以创建一个介绍。
278	It cannot create trust for you.	它不能给你创造信任。
279	It can make an opportunity visible.	它可以让机会显现出来。
280	It cannot make you ready for it.	它不能让你做好准备。
281	So the goal isn't to become the most connected person in the room.	所以目标不是成为房间里联系最紧密的人。
282	It's to become someone people remember, trust, learn from, and genuinely want to help.	而是成为人们记忆、信任、学习和真正想要帮助的人。
283	Because	因为
284	that's when social capital stops looking like networking.	这时社会资本不再看起来像网络。
285	It starts looking like community.	它开始看起来像社区。

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