调情力：会让你的生活更美好
字幕摘录
| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| 0:00 | Getting better at flirting will make your whole life better, and this is something I read in a substack article a few days ago and | 调情会改善你的一生 这是我几天前在一篇下层文章中读到的 |
| 0:08 | No, this is not a dating advice video. | 不 这不是约会建议视频 |
| 0:11 | It's about asking for things | 是关于要求的东西 |
| 0:14 | Being more bold having a little bit more audacity because fun fact this apartment this lovely apartment that I'm currently in I | 更大胆一点 更大胆一点 因为有趣的是 这间公寓 |
| 0:22 | Actually wasn't supposed to be able to afford wasn't within my budget for renting | 本来不该付得起的 不是我的租房预算 |
| 0:26 | I actually reached out to a few places as I was looking for a new temporary spot and | 实际上,我联系了几个地方 当我正在寻找一个新的临时位置, |
| 0:32 | I asked places that were out of my budget | 我问了那些超出我预算的地方 |
| 0:35 | I basically said hey like I know I'm offering something that's under what you're asking for could this work and | 我基本上说,嘿,就像我知道 我提供的东西 这是你要求的,这工作, |
| 0:41 | To my surprise more than one said yes, and that's been happening to me more and more lately | 令我惊讶的是,不止一个答应了 最近我越来越喜欢这样 |
| 0:46 | Even in work, you know getting projects that I didn't think I was going to get doing things that I would have probably talked to | 即使在工作,你知道 得到的项目,我不认为 我会得到得到 做一些事情,我可能已经谈过 |
展开字幕全文（186 条）
| 序号 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Getting better at flirting will make your whole life better, and this is something I read in a substack article a few days ago and | 调情会改善你的一生 这是我几天前在一篇下层文章中读到的 |
| 2 | No, this is not a dating advice video. | 不 这不是约会建议视频 |
| 3 | It's about asking for things | 是关于要求的东西 |
| 4 | Being more bold having a little bit more audacity because fun fact this apartment this lovely apartment that I'm currently in I | 更大胆一点 更大胆一点 因为有趣的是 这间公寓 |
| 5 | Actually wasn't supposed to be able to afford wasn't within my budget for renting | 本来不该付得起的 不是我的租房预算 |
| 6 | I actually reached out to a few places as I was looking for a new temporary spot and | 实际上,我联系了几个地方 当我正在寻找一个新的临时位置, |
| 7 | I asked places that were out of my budget | 我问了那些超出我预算的地方 |
| 8 | I basically said hey like I know I'm offering something that's under what you're asking for could this work and | 我基本上说,嘿,就像我知道 我提供的东西 这是你要求的,这工作, |
| 9 | To my surprise more than one said yes, and that's been happening to me more and more lately | 令我惊讶的是,不止一个答应了 最近我越来越喜欢这样 |
| 10 | Even in work, you know getting projects that I didn't think I was going to get doing things that I would have probably talked to | 即使在工作,你知道 得到的项目,我不认为 我会得到得到 做一些事情,我可能已经谈过 |
| 11 | A year ago and in this new phase of life where I've been asking for things that | 一年前,在这个生命的新阶段, 我一直在要求的东西 |
| 12 | Didn't really expect to get the way I'd hype myself up is with this really cheesy fate phrase | 没想到我会这样自吹自擂 是和这个很俗气的命运 |
| 13 | And it's been working and it's that closed mouths don't get fed | 而且它一直在工作, 这是闭口不吃 |
| 14 | And so when I stumbled across this substack essay about how flirting can improve your life | 所以当我偶然发现这篇关于调情如何改善你的生活的文章 |
| 15 | It actually really just aligned with what I've been realizing myself lately with my whole phrase closed mouths | 实际上,它只是 与我最近意识到的 我整个短语闭口不谈 |
| 16 | Don't get fed and before we get into this, you know | 别被喂饱了 在我们开始之前 你知道 |
| 17 | I'm not a naturally outgoing person. | 我不是一个自然离开的人。 |
| 18 | I try not to put myself in a box. | 我尽量不要把自己放进盒子里 |
| 19 | But as a whole I | 但作为一个整体,我 |
| 20 | Find I have to really try at it. | 我得试试看 |
| 21 | 我是一个INFJ | |
| 22 | That's my Myers-Briggs personality if that helps you guys kind of place me somewhere overall | 这是我的迈尔斯 -布里格斯的个性 如果这能帮助你们 把我放在一个整体的地方 |
| 23 | And so I figured if this is working for me | 所以我想如果这样对我有用的话 |
| 24 | I think this approach to life will work even better for a lot of you | 我觉得这种生活方式对你们很多人来说都更好 |
| 25 | So a bit of context as I mentioned I would never have considered myself a naturally outgoing person in life | 所以,有点背景,正如我提到,我永远不会 认为自己是 自然离开的人在生活中 |
| 26 | I try not to put myself that in a box anymore. | 我尽量不把 自己在一个盒子了。 |
| 27 | I really try not to tell myself that but | 我真的不想告诉自己 |
| 28 | Historically, I feel like I have leaned more into the introversion side of INFJ | 历史上,我觉得我更倾向于INFJ的内向 |
| 29 | and I think | 我觉得 |
| 30 | The way I can see that pattern in my life is I would be the type of person who would check an email like five times | 我一生中看到这种模式的方式, 就是我会是那种会检查邮件5次的人 |
| 31 | before sending it or | 在发送之前或 |
| 32 | Like really second-guess myself out of asking something already just assuming someone would say no or be like, I don't know | 就像在问一些事情 已经只是假设有人会拒绝或像,我不知道 |
| 33 | I don't want to be like | 我不想这样 |
| 34 | Too bold to ask. | 太大胆问. |
| 35 | I already feel like why would they say yes to me? | 我已经觉得他们为什么要答应我? |
| 36 | Who am I to be asking that? | 我该问谁呢? |
| 37 | So a lot of times I just wouldn't ask and then by not asking | 所以,很多时候,我只是不问 然后不问 |
| 38 | I would never actually know what the answer would have been | 我永远不知道答案是什么 |
| 39 | I'm sure like at least 30% of the time it probably would have been a yes | 我敢肯定,至少30%的时间 它可能已经是一个同意 |
| 40 | And what I've actually learned from asking a lot lately and putting myself out there more is actually I mean | 我最近从很多要求中 学到的更多是 我意思是 |
| 41 | I feel like the success rate is sometimes like 50% and also I'm like realizing that what is the worst thing that can happen | 我觉得成功率有时是50%, 并且我还意识到 最糟糕的事情会发生 |
| 42 | I know everyone always says that but truly what is the worst thing that can happen? | 我知道每个人都这么说 但真正能发生的最糟糕的事情是什么? |
| 43 | Someone says no | 有人说不行 |
| 44 | It's not a big deal | 没什么大不了的 |
| 45 | I don't know why we're so scared of rejection in life and we already preemptively | 我不知道为什么我们如此害怕 拒绝在生活中,我们已经先发制人 |
| 46 | reject ourselves out of things that could have happened and | 抛弃我们自己 远离可能发生的事情 |
| 47 | Save ourselves from it because you're just like closing off so much of life that could have been opened up to you | 省省吧,因为你就像 关闭了这么多的生活 本来可以对你开放的 |
| 48 | And so lately and I'm by lately. | 最近,我又来了 |
| 49 | I mean literally just in the last couple months | 我的意思是,实际上就在最近几个月里 |
| 50 | I've been doing this and it's been almost like a high to keep doing this | 我一直在做这个,而且一直以来 都几乎像一个高 继续做这个 |
| 51 | I will ask for things sometimes things that I think are ridiculous | 我有时会问一些我觉得荒谬的事情 |
| 52 | I would have never asked for before like a lot of the apartments that I was looking at and I would just tell myself | 我从来没有要求过 像很多公寓 我当时正在看,我会只是告诉自己 |
| 53 | I'd hit myself up and say closed mouth. | 我打自己 并说闭口。 |
| 54 | Don't get fed and then just ask and just see what happens and | 别被喂饱 然后就问 看看会发生什么 |
| 55 | That was it. | 就这样 |
| 56 | And sometimes I feel like you just have to use | 有时候我觉得你只需要用 |
| 57 | Cheesy catchphrases or whatever it is in your life | 狡猾的句子或你生命中的一切 |
| 58 | Hype yourself up to ask and the more you do the more you get used to it the more you get used to hearing | 假装自己问,你做的越多 你越习惯它,你就越习惯听 |
| 59 | No, and the more you realize it's just really not a big deal and most of the time life surprises you and things work out | 不,你越意识到 这其实没什么大不了的 大多数时候生活都会让你惊讶 |
| 60 | So let me just quickly tell you about the apartment because as I mentioned this one of the asks that surprised me the most | 所以,让我快速地告诉你 关于公寓 因为我提到一个 问,我最惊讶 |
| 61 | And honestly, it was one of the first ones that really just got me rolling | 老实说,这是第一个 让我滚滚的 |
| 62 | Kind of had me on this trajectory where then I went into work asking for things and just it was like a domino effect | 有点让我走在轨迹上 然后我去工作 要求的东西,就像一个多米诺效应 |
| 63 | I just needed one thing to work out to really inspire me to keep going with this | 我只是需要一件事来努力 真正激励我继续这样下去 |
| 64 | Asking for more lifestyle mindset. | 要求更多的生活方式心态。 |
| 65 | That's the word I'm looking for. | 即为寻之语. |
| 66 | So this apartment | 所以这个公寓 |
| 67 | I needed a place to live and work for the remainder of the year | 我需要一个地方 生活和工作 剩下的一年 |
| 68 | I live in quite an expensive city and I found also it's really hard to find a place that's light | 我住在一个很昂贵的城市里 我发现很难找到一个光亮的地方 |
| 69 | You can step outside have some fresh air bonus if there's a tree or nature nearby | 如果附近有树或自然,你可以出去吃新鲜空气 |
| 70 | It has enough space for me to be able to work from home comfortably | 它有足够的空间让我能够舒适地在家工作 |
| 71 | And that was really my three big requirements and I was looking at kind of a last-minute time of year | 这真的是我的三个大要求 而我正在寻找一种 一年的最后一分钟 |
| 72 | So there wasn't that much available left | 所以现在没有那么多了 |
| 73 | So a lot of the places that fit those requirements were just honestly out of my budget | 所以,很多适合这些要求的地方 只是从我的预算中诚实地 |
| 74 | And I think the old me would have just kept scrolling and then ended up picking a place that just really didn't fit my needs | 我觉得我老了会不停地滚动 然后最后找到一个地方 完全不符合我的需要 |
| 75 | And just being like hmm | 碞钩琌 |
| 76 | Well, that's just the way life goes | 人生就是这样的 |
| 77 | But I kept thinking of that phrase closed mouths don't get fed and I just hyped myself up and I was like it was really big | 但我一直想着那个词 闭口不吃,我只管自吹自擂,我感觉它真的很大 |
| 78 | For me, I'm not usually someone who like to any of you who just live life like that | 对我来说,我通常不是喜欢你们中任何一个 过着那种生活的人 |
| 79 | Anyways, this probably seems like a silly concept to even bother talking about but for me | 不管怎么说,这似乎是一个愚蠢的概念 甚至费心谈论,但对我来说 |
| 80 | And I hope there's a few of you out there that relate just wasn't something I'd ever do | 我希望有你们几个人 与我无关 |
| 81 | So I asked a bunch of different places that I liked and I was surprised that a lot got back to me and | 所以我问了很多地方 我喜欢,我感到很惊讶 很多回到我身边 |
| 82 | Were willing to work something out and I think that's the thing right? | 愿意做点什么 我想这是对的吗? |
| 83 | Like I don't want this whole | 就像我不想这样 |
| 84 | Phrase like closed mouths don't get fed or the idea of asking or making big asks to be about getting one over anyone like I | 嘴闭着的语句不会被喂食 也不会被问到 或做大的要求 |
| 85 | Don't think those situations are nice or things to strive for it's more about hey when you ask people you talk to a human | 不要认为那些情况很好 或事情来努力 它更多的是嘿,当你问人们 你说话的人 |
| 86 | Sometimes there's pros and cons to both right? | 有时两者都有利弊? |
| 87 | Like for example, the lovely owners of this place really got along with them | 比如说,这里可爱的主人 和他们相处得很好 |
| 88 | And also they were going out of town for X amount of months and this spot just worked out and they were happy to | 并且他们要出城10个多月 而这个地方刚刚解决了 他们很高兴 |
| 89 | Rent it at a lower price. | 以低价出租. |
| 90 | So really that's it | 原来如此 |
| 91 | Just asking talking to real people and seeing if it fits for both of you instead of just | 只是问和真人交谈 看看这是否适合你们两个 而不是只是 |
| 92 | Assuming it would have been a no scrolling on past and then missing out on the opportunity for something great to work out | 假设这不会是过去的事 却错过了成功的机会 |
| 93 | Okay, so back to the sub stack article that I referenced at the start because it put it into better words than I could it's | 好吧,所以回到子堆 文章,我引用 在开头,因为它把它放到更好的字 比我可以 |
| 94 | By Bella Dane and actually when I stumbled across this article by her I recognized her from tik-tok | 被贝拉·丹恩 发现这篇文章时 我认出了她 |
| 95 | So I'll link this article down below | 所以我把这篇文章连到下面 |
| 96 | But she has a lot of great content online on different platforms and it's called getting better at flirting will make your life better | 但她在不同的平台上有很多精彩内容 这叫调情会让你的生活更好 |
| 97 | And like I said, it's not really about dating at all | 就像我说的,这不是真的 关于约会的 |
| 98 | Her big idea is what she calls flirting with life seeing something you like and actually doing something about it | 她的大主意是,她所谓的调情生活 看到一些你喜欢的东西 并且实际上做一些事情 |
| 99 | There were three things in her article that I read that I thought related to this video really well that I wanted to mention | 她的文章里有三件事,我读过, 我认为与这段视频有关 非常好,我想提到 |
| 100 | To you guys and the first one is that the people who seem to get what they want all the time are often just | 对你们来说,第一件事就是 那些似乎总是得到他们想要的东西的人常常只是 |
| 101 | Asking more than everyone else. | 问甚于众. |
| 102 | That's it. | 就这样 |
| 103 | It's not that they're more deserving | 不是说他们更值得 |
| 104 | It's just that they ask more often and when I read that I was like, yeah exactly | 只是,他们更经常地问 当我读到,我就像,是的 |
| 105 | That is what has been happening to me lately. | 我最近就是这样 |
| 106 | Nothing about me or my circumstances have changed | 关于我和我的环境都没变 |
| 107 | I've just started asking more and the second one is that it's about how you ask her point was when you ask don't over explain | 我刚刚开始问更多的问题, 第二个是,你是如何 问她的要点是,当你问不完解释 |
| 108 | Don't start defending why you deserve it | 不要开始为自己辩护了 为什么要这么做 |
| 109 | you say it and then you go quiet and you let the other person feel the silence and | 你说出来,然后你走 安静,你让另一个人 感觉沉默, |
| 110 | As someone who has considered themselves an introvert | 作为一个自以为内向的人 |
| 111 | I find that kind of freeing because it doesn't mean you have to be chatty and super charming and you don't have to perform | 我发现这种自由,因为它不意味着你必须 聊天和超级迷人,你不必表演 |
| 112 | You can just say one sentence and just stop talking and her third point is one that I really like | 你可以只说一句话, 只是停止说话 她的第三点是 我真的喜欢 |
| 113 | Because it's the one that took the fear out of it for me | 因为这是为我消除恐惧的人 |
| 114 | She says if you get a no, you should be as happy as if you got a yes because you're not betting everything on it | 她说,如果你得到一个不,你应该 高兴的,如果你得到一个同意, 因为你没有赌的一切在上面 |
| 115 | You're just flirting with it. | 你只是在调情 |
| 116 | I feel like that reframe was really important for me and no isn't a rejection | 我觉得那重塑对我很重要 而不是拒绝 |
| 117 | It's just the conversation ending and then you can go on and ask someone else and lastly | 只是谈话结束 然后你可以去问别人 最后 |
| 118 | She also talks about charm and I do think this part is really important because to just ask | 她也谈论魅力,我确实认为这个部分真的很重要 因为只是问 |
| 119 | Can come across as really entitled like even when I was asking about the apartment situation, you know | 我问公寓的情况时 也会觉得自己很合适 |
| 120 | I just explained myself didn't over explain myself | 我只是解释自己没有结束 解释自己 |
| 121 | But approached it humanly like just a regular conversation to see if they would engage and if things would work out | 但从人的角度来说,就像一个正常的谈话, 看看他们是否会参与, 如果事情会成功 |
| 122 | Her point is to always be warm be curious about the person that you're asking | 她的意思是永远温柔 想知道你问的人 |
| 123 | I don't think anyone wants to say yes to somebody who's rude about it. | 我不认为有人想对不礼貌的人说好. |
| 124 | Okay, so let me quickly show you what | 好吧,所以让我迅速告诉你什么 |
| 125 | Over-explaining can look like because this was me | 说得太清楚了 可能看起来像是我 |
| 126 | This was me to a tee or this was me in my head and this is why I never used to ask her things ever | 这是我到一个TEE或这是我在我的脑海 这就是为什么我从来没有问过她的东西 |
| 127 | I was definitely guilty of this. | 我绝对有罪 |
| 128 | Hi, I'm so so sorry | 对不起 |
| 129 | I know this is like a long shot and you're probably really busy and this is not a good time to ask and you can absolutely | 我知道这是像一个很长的机会 你可能真的很忙 现在不是时候 问,你可以绝对 |
| 130 | Say no like feel comfortable to say no | 说"不"感觉很舒服 说"不" |
| 131 | But I was just wondering is there any chance that there'd be a slightly better room at the hotel if it's not an inconvenience for you | 但我在想,如果不是给您带来不便的话,酒店里会有一个稍好一点的房间。 |
| 132 | It's just we've had a really long week and I was just wondering if there's any | 只是我们度过了一个很长的一周 我只是想知道是否有 |
| 133 | Potential room upgrades and it's totally okay. | 潜在的房间升级 完全没关系。 |
| 134 | I if there's like no way that that's gonna work out | 如果没办法成功的话 |
| 135 | It's it's all right. | 皆是无碍. |
| 136 | If you're gonna say no, maybe a little dramatic | 如果你要拒绝,也许有点戏剧性 |
| 137 | Versus, you know politely coming up to someone say you're at a hotel and you say hi | 弗苏斯,你很有礼貌地来到 有人说你在酒店,你打招呼 |
| 138 | I was just wondering are there any potential upgrades available? | 我只是想知道是否有任何潜在的升级? |
| 139 | You can kind of sense where they're at when they respond to that see if the conversation continues and if not | 你可以感觉到他们在哪里 当他们回应,看看 谈话是否继续,如果没有 |
| 140 | It might just be a simple no and that's it | 可能只是一个简单的不, 就这样 |
| 141 | You move on with your day in the first version. | 在第一版本中你继续你的一天。 |
| 142 | You're basically asking them to say no | 你基本上要求他们拒绝 |
| 143 | You've given them every excuse and reason to and the second one just leaves space for a yes or you know | 你给了他们每一个借口和理由 第二个只是留了空间 |
| 144 | A further explanation or another possibility and I'll be honest, you know, even when I was reaching out about apartments | 进一步解释或另一种可能性, 我会说实话,你知道的, 即使我联系 关于公寓 |
| 145 | My messages were on a slightly longer side, but I wasn't over explaining myself | 我的留言比较长 但我还没解释完 |
| 146 | I was pretty straight up with just like what my budget was what my situation was how long I was looking for | 我非常直截了当 就像我的预算 就是我的处境 我在找多久 |
| 147 | But I work from home all the rest | 但我在家工作 其余的都在家工作 |
| 148 | Without you know, like being super apologetic and giving them so many opportunities to just like say no, okay | 没有你知道,像超级厌倦 给他们很多机会 就像说不,好吗? |
| 149 | So here are some tips to take away from this | 所以,这里有一些小费 从这个 |
| 150 | Substack essay and this video today that you can start with today and my key tip is to start small if you're someone like me | 今天你从下面开始写文章和这段视频 我的关键提示是 如果你像我一样 开始小 |
| 151 | Whose stomach drops when you have to ask for something big or reach out to someone who you find? | 谁的胃下降 当你必须要求的东西 大或伸出你找到的人? |
| 152 | Intimidating my advice is to start small build up to it as I mentioned when things start happening | 恐吓我的建议是开始小建设 就像我提到的那样 当事情开始发生时 |
| 153 | You'll feel like you're on a high | 你会觉得自己很兴奋 |
| 154 | You'll just keep continually to ask throughout life and it'll just get easier and you'll be one of those people who just | 你将一直问 整个生活, 它只会变得更容易, 你会是一个人 |
| 155 | Asks for things more often | 更经常问事情 |
| 156 | Things work out more often because of it | 事情经常因为它而变好 |
| 157 | So I wrote down some simple ways that you can start small one is to ask a barista | 所以我写了一些简单的方法,你可以开始小的方法 就是问一个律师 |
| 158 | What their favorite thing is on the menu? | 他们最喜欢的是什么? |
| 159 | No stakes at all. | 终无桩. |
| 160 | Just get used to talking to people | 习惯跟人说话 |
| 161 | More often when you don't need to then to ask if there's a discount an upgrade or a better table | 更常见的是,当你不需要,然后问 是否有折扣升级或更好的桌子 |
| 162 | The worst case is no | 最坏的情况是没有 |
| 163 | sorry, my third one is to message someone you admire like someone you look up to and | 对不起,我的第三个是 传达一个你崇拜的人 就像你仰慕的人 |
| 164 | Ask for 15 minutes of their time ask for a quick chat and number four is to ask for the rate you actually want for | 要求15分钟的时间 要求快速聊天 第四是要求你实际想要的费率 |
| 165 | You know, this could be an apartment a hotel | 你知道,这可能是一个公寓 酒店 |
| 166 | I don't know the car putting it out there and number five is to ask for the thing | 我不知道那辆车放在那里 五号是想找东西 |
| 167 | You've been wanting all year and you'll probably know what that is | 你一整年都在想,你大概会知道那是什么 |
| 168 | maybe it's | 也许 |
| 169 | Maybe you're into the social media space and it's a sponsor that you've been hoping to work with or reaching out to a client | 也许你已经进入了社交媒体的空间 这是赞助商 你一直希望与客户合作或联系 |
| 170 | You've always wanted to land. | 你总是想降落 |
| 171 | I don't know it could be anything | 我不知道这可能是什么 |
| 172 | But just know what your big one ask is and work your way up to it | 但只要知道你的大的要求是什么 并努力去达到它 |
| 173 | and there's one more idea from Bella Dane's sub stack piece that I really liked and | 还有一个想法 从贝拉・丹的子堆片 我真的很喜欢, |
| 174 | It's romanticizing your life when you start noticing the good things happening around you even on a trip to a grocery store | 当你开始注意到你身边发生的好事 甚至在去杂货店旅行的时候 生活就变得浪漫了 |
| 175 | You start noticing for more chances to ask things it becomes a habit and you start spotting opportunity | 你开始注意到更多的机会 问一些事情 它成为习惯,你开始发现机会 |
| 176 | Okay, so here's my tiny challenge for you to take away, which is for the next seven days | 好吧,所以这是我的小挑战 你带走, 这是接下来的七天 |
| 177 | I want you to ask something every single day big or small it doesn't matter and then honestly if you have the time | 我希望你每天问点事 不管大小都无所谓 如果你有空的话 老实说 |
| 178 | You can come back to this video and let me know how it goes in the comments or maybe you guys have your own | 你可以回到这段视频 让我知道 在评论中是如何进行的 或者你们有自己的 |
| 179 | Stories of things working out when you just ask | 当你问起事情时 |
| 180 | I think it's really motivating to hear it work out for other people to encourage each other to try more | 我想这真的激发了人们的热情 让他们互相鼓励 |
| 181 | Because truly that is the one thing that surprised me most in the last couple months is just how often you'll get a yes | 因为在过去几个月里,我最惊讶的一件事 就是你得到同意的频率 |
| 182 | And as I mentioned worst-case scenario, someone says no, whatever move on. | 我提到最坏的情况时 有人说不行,不管有什么进展 |
| 183 | It's like no big deal | 这没什么大不了的 |
| 184 | That's really it closed mouths don't get fed and that's all I have for you guys today | 今天我只给你们吃 |
| 185 | So I hope you enjoyed this video | 我希望你喜欢这个视频 |
| 186 | Hope you take some of these tips forward and with that I will see you all in my next video | 希望你们能把一些小费往前看 接下来的录像里会看到你们 |
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