Small talk是信任建立绕不开的一环｜如何有效开启Sm
字幕摘录
| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| 0:00 | Small talk can be a complete waste of time, | 闲聊会浪费时间的 |
| 0:02 | but if you use it right, it's actually a superpower | 但如果你用对了,它其实是超能力 |
| 0:04 | and can land you massive opportunities. | 并可以降落你 巨大的机会。 |
| 0:07 | I once had a five minute very casual conversation | 我曾经有五分钟的闲聊 |
| 0:09 | with Heather Rae El Moussa | 与希瑟·拉·穆萨 |
| 0:11 | and turned that into a partnership. | 并把它变成一个伙伴关系。 |
| 0:13 | So here are five tips on how to master small talk | 所以这里有五个关于如何掌握小谈的提示 |
| 0:15 | and unlock that one conversation that could change your life. | 解开能改变你生活的对话 |
| 0:18 | So first of all, the expression small talk | 所以,首先,表达 小谈话 |
| 0:20 | sounds a little bit off to me | 听起来有点不对劲 |
展开字幕全文（291 条）
| 序号 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Small talk can be a complete waste of time, | 闲聊会浪费时间的 |
| 2 | but if you use it right, it's actually a superpower | 但如果你用对了,它其实是超能力 |
| 3 | and can land you massive opportunities. | 并可以降落你 巨大的机会。 |
| 4 | I once had a five minute very casual conversation | 我曾经有五分钟的闲聊 |
| 5 | with Heather Rae El Moussa | 与希瑟·拉·穆萨 |
| 6 | and turned that into a partnership. | 并把它变成一个伙伴关系。 |
| 7 | So here are five tips on how to master small talk | 所以这里有五个关于如何掌握小谈的提示 |
| 8 | and unlock that one conversation that could change your life. | 解开能改变你生活的对话 |
| 9 | So first of all, the expression small talk | 所以,首先,表达 小谈话 |
| 10 | sounds a little bit off to me | 听起来有点不对劲 |
| 11 | because calling that superpower small | 因为称超能力小 |
| 12 | is one of the most expensive mistakes you can make. | 这是你最昂贵的错误之一。 |
| 13 | I was on a work trip last summer. | 我去年夏天去上班了 |
| 14 | It was a short onsite with one of our clients | 和我们的客户在现场 |
| 15 | and we had the opportunity to sit down for lunch. | 我们有机会坐下来吃午饭 |
| 16 | It was their team and it was our team. | 那是他们的团队,也是我们的团队。 |
| 17 | And the reason for flying there was to do business. | 而在那里飞行的原因是做生意。 |
| 18 | That was the job. | 这就是工作 |
| 19 | But as I'm sitting there, | 但当我坐在那里, |
| 20 | I hear my team just casually chatting away | 我听到我的团队只是随便聊天 |
| 21 | about personal stuff with their team. | 关于个人的东西 与他们的团队。 |
| 22 | A big game coming up, something in the news, | 一场大赛即将到来 新闻里的东西 |
| 23 | talking about what people are doing this weekend, | 谈论人们在这个周末在做什么, |
| 24 | just getting to know each other on that personal level. | 刚刚开始了解对方 在个人层面。 |
| 25 | And honestly, it got me thinking, | 说实话,这让我想到, |
| 26 | why is it that most people just switch | 为什么大多数人只是切换 |
| 27 | to this generic chit chat | 到这个普通的聊天 |
| 28 | the second a formal meeting ends? | 第二次正式会议结束? |
| 29 | Top performers, people who are at the top of the game | 顶尖表演者,在游戏中名列前茅的人 |
| 30 | know that nothing is small talk. | 知道没有什么是小说。 |
| 31 | Every single conversation is an opportunity. | 每次谈话都是机会 |
| 32 | So a while back, my husband and I flew out to California | 刚才,我丈夫和我飞到加州 |
| 33 | to meet with Tarak Al Musa. | 与塔拉克·穆萨会面 |
| 34 | We were talking about working on a project together | 我们说要一起做一个项目 |
| 35 | and we had spent about three or four hours | 我们花了大约三四个小时 |
| 36 | going back and forth on what this could look like. | 一遍又一遍地看这个样子 |
| 37 | And as the meeting was wrapping up, | 当会议结束的时候, |
| 38 | I started chatting with his wife, Heather. | 我开始和他的妻子Heather聊天 |
| 39 | It was just small talk at first, | 一开始只是小说 |
| 40 | but while we were talking, I looked around the room | 但是当我们谈话时,我到处看看房间 |
| 41 | and I saw these lip glosses with her logo on them. | 我看到这些唇膏 上面有她的标志。 |
| 42 | So I asked, what are these? | 所以我问,这是什么? |
| 43 | And she said, oh, it's a project that I've been working on | 她说,哦,这是我一直在研究的项目 |
| 44 | that I'm really passionate about, | 我真的很热心, |
| 45 | but I'm not sure what the launch plan should be. | 但我不确定发射计划应该是什么 |
| 46 | And I said, well, I could help you launch it. | 我说,我可以帮你发射它。 |
| 47 | That little five minute chat at the very end of a meeting | 5分钟的闲聊 在会议结束时 |
| 48 | about something completely different | 关于完全不同的事情 |
| 49 | 成为HRE Beautiful的合伙人 | |
| 50 | We've launched lip glosses, body products, | 我们推出了唇膏 身体制品 |
| 51 | and it all happened because I was paying attention. | 这一切的发生是因为我在注意 |
| 52 | It happened because I didn't treat the end of the meeting | 是因为我没有把会议结束 |
| 53 | as downtime to talk about personal things. | 作为谈论私人事物的休息时间。 |
| 54 | You see, it's so easy when you're making small talk | 你看,这很容易 当你在谈小事 |
| 55 | to assume that nothing important can come from it. | 假设它不会有什么重要的东西 |
| 56 | Like we're here for this other thing, | 就像我们来这是为了别的事 |
| 57 | so this part just doesn't matter. | 所以这个部分只是不重要。 |
| 58 | But the way I see it, every conversation, | 但在我看来 每一次谈话 |
| 59 | no matter how casual is a chance to notice something, | 无论多么随意的机会 发现什么, |
| 60 | ask about it and find a way to help | 问吧,想办法帮忙 |
| 61 | because nobody loses money on small talk. | 因为没有人会因为闲聊而失去钱 |
| 62 | They lose it on small attention. | 他们的注意力少了 |
| 63 | So the next time you're finishing a meeting, | 所以,下一次你完成一个会议, |
| 64 | don't switch off. | 不要关机。 |
| 65 | Keep your brain switched on the entire time | 保持你的大脑一直切换 |
| 66 | during the in-between moments and look for ways to add value. | 寻找增加价值的方法。 |
| 67 | Look around, get curious about the person | 四处看看,对这个人好奇 |
| 68 | and the opportunities in front of you | 和你们面前的机会 |
| 69 | and what's actually happening around them. | 以及他们周围发生的事情 |
| 70 | Your version of that lip gloss opportunity | 你那副嘴唇的表情掩盖了机会 |
| 71 | is sitting right in front of you. | 坐在你们面前 |
| 72 | Number two, the first 15 seconds of a conversation | 第二,第一次15秒的谈话 |
| 73 | with a stranger are the most important. | 与陌生人是最重要的。 |
| 74 | Researchers recorded highly structured | 研究人员记录的高度结构化 |
| 75 | 20 minute job interviews where trained professionals | 在经过培训的专业人员中进行20分钟的工作面试 |
| 76 | rigorously evaluated candidates on 18 specific skills, | 严格评价候选人18种具体技能, |
| 77 | knowledge, and competencies. | 知识和能力。 |
| 78 | The researchers extracted a thin slice of the video, | 研究人员提取了一段薄片的录像 |
| 79 | a 15 to 20 second clip starting the moment | 15至20秒的片段开始 |
| 80 | the applicant knocked on the door | 申请人敲门 |
| 81 | and ending exactly five seconds after they took their seat. | 在他们就座5秒钟后结束 |
| 82 | Then they showed these ultra brief clips | 然后他们展示了这些超短片段 |
| 83 | to completely untrained strangers. | 完全没有训练的陌生人。 |
| 84 | And here is what the researchers found. | 这就是研究人员发现的。 |
| 85 | Strangers watched just 15 seconds of each interview | 陌生人每次采访都只看了15秒 |
| 86 | and rated how competent and how hireable the candidate seemed. | 并评定候选人的能力和可雇用性。 |
| 87 | Then those snap judgments were compared | 然后这些快速的判决被比较 |
| 88 | to the evaluations from trained interviewers | 对受过培训的访谈者的评价 |
| 89 | who had spent a full 20 minutes with each candidate. | 和每个候选人一起待了整整20分钟 |
| 90 | The results were nearly identical. | 结果几乎相同。 |
| 91 | The researchers concluded that much of a hiring manager's | 研究人员的结论是,大部分的招聘经理 |
| 92 | assessment of your skills and knowledge | 评估您的技能和知识 |
| 93 | may actually be shaped by the first impression you make. | 可能实际上被你的第一印象所塑造。 |
| 94 | So here's what this actually means for you. | 所以这是你真正需要的。 |
| 95 | You don't get hired on your answers. | 你没有被雇佣在你的答案。 |
| 96 | You get hired in the first 15 seconds | 15秒后你就会受聘 |
| 97 | and then spend 20 minutes proving them right. | 然后花20分钟证明他们是对的 |
| 98 | You can't rewrite your resume once you're in the room, | 你不能在房间里重写简历 |
| 99 | but those 15 seconds, that part you can completely control. | 15秒后,你就能完全控制 |
| 100 | And that's the part that's quietly influencing | 而这正是 悄悄地影响 |
| 101 | the whole thing. | 整个事情。 |
| 102 | Your resume gets you in the room, | 你的履历让你在房间里, |
| 103 | but crafting your first sentence | 却在构思你的第一句 |
| 104 | can be what allows you to get the job. | 可以让你得到这份工作 |
| 105 | So stop treating it like it's just a warmup. | 所以别把它当成只是热身 |
| 106 | It is the moment. | 此时此刻。 |
| 107 | Walk in like you belong there | 像你属于那里一样走进来 |
| 108 | and then stop writing the script like you're on autopilot. | 然后停止写剧本 就像你在自动驾驶。 |
| 109 | Hey, how are you? | 你好吗? |
| 110 | Good, how are you? | 很好,你好吗? |
| 111 | Nobody remembers that. | 没人记得 |
| 112 | Instead, make your first line specific to them | 相反,让你的第一行 专门针对他们 |
| 113 | or this exact moment. | 或者这个时刻 |
| 114 | Comment on something you noticed on the way in, | 评论你进来时注意到的东西, |
| 115 | like, hey, I was watching your last campaign while waiting. | 喜欢,嘿,我在看 你的最后一次竞选 等待。 |
| 116 | What was it like to work on this project? | 这个项目的工作是什么感觉? |
| 117 | Because the whole game changes when you walk in | 因为整个游戏都变 当你走进来 |
| 118 | trying to help them instead of trying to impress them. | 试图帮助他们 而不是试图打动他们。 |
| 119 | You stop being one more candidate answering questions | 你不要再当候选人了 回答问题 |
| 120 | and you become the person who actually gets what they need. | 成为真正得到他们需要的东西的人 |
| 121 | That's what small talk is really for. | 这就是小谈的真正目的。 |
| 122 | Number three, having good people skills | 第三,有好人技能 |
| 123 | has nothing to do with how loud you are | 跟你这么大声无关 |
| 124 | and has everything to do with how efficiently | 并且与效率有关 |
| 125 | you're using your curiosity. | 你在利用你的好奇心。 |
| 126 | I was interviewing someone on my podcast recently | 我最近采访了播客 |
| 127 | and at the end, she told me, | 最后 她告诉我 |
| 128 | you're a really great interviewer. | 你是一个非常棒的采访者。 |
| 129 | And most people assume that that comes from preparation, | 大多数人认为这是从准备, |
| 130 | from doing my homework before the interview. | 在采访前做功课 |
| 131 | It really doesn't. | 它真的没有。 |
| 132 | It comes from actively listening | 它来自积极倾听 |
| 133 | and being genuinely curious about people. | 并真正好奇的人。 |
| 134 | And here's the truth. | 则此真言. |
| 135 | I have never been the loudest person in any room, | 我从未是任何房间最响亮的人 |
| 136 | but at any situation, I'll walk up | 但无论如何,我会走起来 |
| 137 | and start a real conversation | 开始真正的对话 |
| 138 | and actually make somebody feel heard. | 并让别人感觉听到。 |
| 139 | Because what I believe is that curiosity is a skill | 因为我相信好奇是一种技巧 |
| 140 | and I had to actively learn it. | 我不得不积极学习 |
| 141 | When I'm interviewing someone | 当我采访某人时 |
| 142 | or just trying to understand them, | 或者只是想了解他们 |
| 143 | I hold a simple frame in my head. | 我脑子里有个简单的框架 |
| 144 | I'm not collecting this for me. | 我不是为我收集这个。 |
| 145 | I'm collecting it for someone else. | 我为别人收集. |
| 146 | There's an audience that I'm serving | 我为观众服务 |
| 147 | and that lets me genuinely get interested. | 让我真正感兴趣 |
| 148 | Like I'm digging for something | 好像我在挖东西一样 |
| 149 | that I have to hand to somebody else. | 我不得不给别人。 |
| 150 | And you can build that exact same frame | 你可以建造一个完全相同的框架 |
| 151 | in normal everyday conversation. | 在正常的日常谈话。 |
| 152 | So instead of being the loudest | 因此,与其成为最响亮的 |
| 153 | or the most charismatic in the room, | 或室内最有魅力者, |
| 154 | make your goal to ask the single best question | 让你的目标 问一个最好的问题 |
| 155 | to whatever answer you just got. | 无论你刚刚得到什么答案 |
| 156 | If someone said that they just got back from Japan, | 如果有人说他们刚从日本回来 |
| 157 | don't say, oh yeah, I love Japan. | 别说我爱日本 |
| 158 | I've always been interested in sushi | 我一直对寿司感兴趣 |
| 159 | or start rambling on about some experience | 或者开始纠缠一些经验 |
| 160 | that you had in Japan. | 你曾经在日本。 |
| 161 | Ask them what surprised them the most. | 问他们最惊讶的是什么? |
| 162 | Ask them what they'd skip if they went again. | 问他们如果再去会跳什么 |
| 163 | Ask them if they went for business. | 问他们去做生意吗? |
| 164 | One of my favorite questions to ask somebody | 我最喜欢问的问题之一 |
| 165 | after they've come home from a trip | 他们旅行回家后 |
| 166 | is what is the best thing that you ate? | 你吃什么最好吃的东西? |
| 167 | You see, that's how conversations stop feeling | 你看,这就是如何 对话停止感觉 |
| 168 | like small talk that don't get you anywhere. | 就像小话小说 对你没好处 |
| 169 | Number four, how do you actually ask the good questions | 第四,你怎样问好问题? |
| 170 | and consequently avoid the awkward ones? | 从而避开尴尬的人吗? |
| 171 | Let me give you the exact openers I use | 让我给你我用的确切开口器 |
| 172 | because they change the whole conversation. | 因为他们改变了整个谈话 |
| 173 | If I'm at a networking event, | 如果我在网络活动, |
| 174 | I don't ask, how's your day? | 我不问,你今天怎么样? |
| 175 | I ask, how are you affiliated with the event? | 我问,你如何 附属于该活动? |
| 176 | Do they work there? | 他们在那里工作吗? |
| 177 | Are they a vendor? | 他们是卖家吗? |
| 178 | Are they a partner? | 他们是搭档吗? |
| 179 | Are they an owner? | 他们是主人吗? |
| 180 | Are they a speaker? | 他们是演说家吗? |
| 181 | Now I know exactly who I'm talking to | 现在我知道我在跟谁说话了 |
| 182 | and how I might be able to help them | 我怎样才能帮助他们 |
| 183 | or to be a part of the conversation. | 或者成为对话的一部分 |
| 184 | And if I'm just talking to someone out in the world, | 如果我只是跟外面的人说话 |
| 185 | I ask, what are you working on | 我问你在忙什么? |
| 186 | that you're passionate about right now? | 你现在很热情吗? |
| 187 | Both of these get me genuinely interested | 都让我真正感兴趣 |
| 188 | in the other person. | 在另一个人。 |
| 189 | Now compare that to the question I fricking hate, | 跟我讨厌的问题比起来 |
| 190 | which is, what's new with you? | 也就是说,你有什么新发现? |
| 191 | People ask me that and I freeze. | 人们问我,我冷冻。 |
| 192 | I literally don't even know how to answer | 我甚至不知道该怎么回答 |
| 193 | what's new with me because there's a hundred things | 我有什么新鲜的,因为有一百件事 |
| 194 | that are going on all the time | 总是这样 |
| 195 | and I feel like it's such a lazy question | 我觉得这是一个很懒的问题 |
| 196 | because it points at nothing | 因为它指的一无所有 |
| 197 | and the person that you're asking | 你问的人 |
| 198 | usually can't answer it either. | 通常也无法回答。 |
| 199 | So the whole thing just creates actual small talk. | 所以整个事情只是 创造真正的小谈话。 |
| 200 | The difference is what the question points at. | 区别在于问题所在。 |
| 201 | How was your day? | 今天过得怎么样? |
| 202 | What's new with you? | 有什么新鲜事吗? |
| 203 | Those point at nothing. | 一点也没有 |
| 204 | They're wasting your time | 他们在浪费你的时间 |
| 205 | without giving you any return. | 没有给你任何回报。 |
| 206 | They put all the weight on the other person | 他们把重量都放在另一个人身上 |
| 207 | having to come up with something interesting. | 得想点有趣的事 |
| 208 | My openers point at one thing. | 我的开场白只指一件事 |
| 209 | How can I help this person? | 我该怎么帮这个人? |
| 210 | Going to the networking question | 进入网络问题 |
| 211 | of how are you affiliated with this event? | 你如何参与这个活动? |
| 212 | As soon as someone tells me that they are a speaker, | 一旦有人告诉我他们是演说家 |
| 213 | I can now ask them what they're speaking about. | 我现在可以问他们正在谈论什么。 |
| 214 | I can now understand when their panel is | 我现在能理解他们的面板是什么时候 |
| 215 | and I can offer to actually sit in their session. | 我愿意参加他们的会议 |
| 216 | And then after I sit in their session, I can take notes | 然后,当我坐在他们的会议, 我可以做笔记 |
| 217 | and I can send them via LinkedIn the notes that I took | 我可以通过Linked发送 在我的笔记中 |
| 218 | and the things that they said that I thought were insightful. | 和他们所说的话,我认为是深刻的。 |
| 219 | You see, when you meet somebody | 你看,当你遇到一个人 |
| 220 | and you're thinking about adding value to them, | 你在考虑给他们增加价值, |
| 221 | you're able to then come up with all of these creative ways | 你就可以想出所有这些创造性的方法 |
| 222 | to not make everything you do about you | 不让你所做的一切 |
| 223 | and to start adding deposits | 并开始增加存款 |
| 224 | into every potential relationship | 在每一个潜在关系中 |
| 225 | because you never know what opportunities those deposits | 因为你永远不知道 这些存款的机会 |
| 226 | can help you within the future. | 可以帮助你在未来。 |
| 227 | Bad openers point at nothing, | 坏开口者一无所获 |
| 228 | but good ones point at one thing. | 但好的一点一件事。 |
| 229 | How can I help you? | 有什么事吗? |
| 230 | And number five, the biggest, most lucrative opportunities | 第五,最大的,最有利可图的机会 |
| 231 | almost always come from the exact person you least expect. | 几乎总是来自你最期望的人。 |
| 232 | Earlier, I told you about this lunch that I sat at | 之前,我跟你说过这个午餐,我坐在那里 |
| 233 | where my team members were having casual chit chat | 我的团队成员在闲聊 |
| 234 | and I was a little frustrated | 我有点沮丧 |
| 235 | that they weren't continuing to drive the business outcomes. | 他们并没有继续推动商业成果。 |
| 236 | What was funny to me about this particular lunch | 这顿午餐对我来说有什么好笑的 |
| 237 | is after lunch wrapped, I had the opportunity to talk | 午饭后,我有机会谈 |
| 238 | to one of our clients' team members | 给一位客户团队成员 |
| 239 | for about 15 minutes on our walk to the car. | 大约15分钟 我们步行到车。 |
| 240 | And during that 15 minutes, | 在这15分钟里 |
| 241 | we did not talk about anything casual. | 我们没有谈论任何随意。 |
| 242 | I asked her five questions about her role | 我问了她五个关于她角色的问题 |
| 243 | inside the business, the opportunities that she sees, | 在企业, 她看到的机会, |
| 244 | the problems that she is struggling with | 她正在面对的问题 |
| 245 | and it was illuminating. | 和它的辉煌。 |
| 246 | We took the answers from those five questions | 我们从这五个问题中得到了答案 |
| 247 | and built out an entire training protocol | 并建立了整个训练程序 |
| 248 | that has generated us hundreds of thousands of dollars | 这给我们带来了数十万美元 |
| 249 | all because she had such a valuable point of view. | 因为她有这么有价值的观点 |
| 250 | Now my team thought that the business owner | 现在,我的团队认为 企业老板 |
| 251 | was the person that had the valuable point of view. | 是那个有宝贵观点的人 |
| 252 | They effectively disregarded the other team members | 他们完全无视小组其他成员 |
| 253 | for the value that they could be driving to this business. | 因为他们可以推动这个行业。 |
| 254 | And when I look back, what I realize is | 当我回头看时 我意识到 |
| 255 | when you actually love the work that you do, | 当你真正爱 你的工作, |
| 256 | the small talk just disappears | 小话一说就消失了 |
| 257 | because there's no such thing anymore. | 因为已经没有这种事了 |
| 258 | People look at their personal lives | 人们看他们的个人生活 |
| 259 | {\fn黑体\fs20\shad2\2aH82\3aH20\4aH33\fscx95\3cH592001\be1}就像这个东西要谈论 | |
| 260 | because oftentimes they don't actually feel connected | 因为经常他们不 真正感觉连接 |
| 261 | to the purpose of the work that they do. | 他们的工作目的。 |
| 262 | They spend all of this time | 他们花了这么多时间 |
| 263 | doing useless mindless small talk | 做没用的无脑小话 |
| 264 | and this stuff that is outside of work | 和这些东西 工作之外 |
| 265 | because they don't feel the purpose | 因为他们不觉得目的 |
| 266 | and they don't see how they can make an impact. | 他们看不到他们如何产生影响。 |
| 267 | But every person that you meet could become a customer. | 但你遇到的每一个人 都可以成为顾客 |
| 268 | They could buy from you. | 他们可以从你那里买东西 |
| 269 | They could join your team. | 他们可以加入你的团队。 |
| 270 | They could teach you something about leadership | 他们可以教你什么是领导 |
| 271 | or what not to do based off an experience that they've had. | 或者什么不能做的 基于他们有过的经历。 |
| 272 | There is always an angle | 总有一个角度 |
| 273 | and the opportunities truly are limitless, | 机会是无限的, |
| 274 | but you only see them if you're connected to the work | 但你只看到他们 如果你连接到工作 |
| 275 | and paying attention to the person | 并注意个人 |
| 276 | who's right in front of you. | 谁在你面前。 |
| 277 | The next time you meet someone, don't think to yourself, | 下次你见一个人的时候 别对自己想 |
| 278 | how do I keep this conversation going? | 我该怎么继续谈话? |
| 279 | Or whine about having to keep the conversation going. | 或者抱怨要继续谈话 |
| 280 | Ask yourself, what opportunity | 问问你自己,什么机会 |
| 281 | could be sitting right across from me? | 可以坐在我对面吗? |
| 282 | It could be knowledge. | 这可能是知识。 |
| 283 | It could be a connection, a future client | 可能是一个连接,未来的客户端 |
| 284 | or even a future friend. | 甚至是未来的朋友 |
| 285 | And when you have this frame, | 当你有了这个框架, |
| 286 | you will start listening differently. | 你会开始不同的听。 |
| 287 | And this happens very naturally | 这很自然 |
| 288 | when you fall in love with the work that you're doing | 当你爱上你的工作 |
| 289 | because then none of this is forced action. | 因为这一切都不是强迫的。 |
| 290 | It's a byproduct of your commitment to what you do. | 这是你对你所作所为的承诺的副产品. |
| 291 | And most importantly, where you see yourself. | 最重要的是,你看到自己的地方。 |
该视频共有字幕 291 条。解锁更多字幕为会员功能，请移动到 价格