当性变成一场权力游戏：恋爱与婚姻中的权力游

发布于 2026-10-28 · 时长 1:08:27

字幕摘录

时间	英文	中文
0:00	in my private practice and in my consultations.	在我的私人实践和磋商中。
0:05	And men fall in love with strippers,	男人爱上脱衣舞娘,
0:07	men fall in love with prostitutes,	男人爱上妓女,
0:10	men fall in love with women with personality disorders	男人爱上性格有问题的女人
0:13	every single day.	每一天都这样
0:15	Why is that?	为什么?
0:17	Is it because these women love them so much?	是因为这些女人这么爱她们吗?
0:20	Is it because they're kind?	是因为他们是善良的吗?
0:22	Is it because they're supportive or virtuous?	是因为他们支持还是善良?
0:25	No, it's because they fuck these men	不,是因为他们操了这些人

展开字幕全文（1338 条）

序号	英文	中文
1	in my private practice and in my consultations.	在我的私人实践和磋商中。
2	And men fall in love with strippers,	男人爱上脱衣舞娘,
3	men fall in love with prostitutes,	男人爱上妓女,
4	men fall in love with women with personality disorders	男人爱上性格有问题的女人
5	every single day.	每一天都这样
6	Why is that?	为什么?
7	Is it because these women love them so much?	是因为这些女人这么爱她们吗?
8	Is it because they're kind?	是因为他们是善良的吗?
9	Is it because they're supportive or virtuous?	是因为他们支持还是善良?
10	No, it's because they fuck these men	不,是因为他们操了这些人
11	to the point where their brains start to melt, okay?	到他们的大脑开始融化的程度,好吗?
12	And when a man has brain melting, face skewing,	当一个人的大脑融化, 脸摇晃,
13	life altering sex, it's like a drug.	生活改变性, 它就像一种药物。
14	And it's like all that that guy can think about.	就像那个家伙能想到的一样
15	And that guy isn't gonna just hit and quit a woman	那家伙不会只是打和退出一个女人
16	who does the freaky nasty shit for him	谁会为他做那些恶心的事
17	because he knows he can't get that on any street corner.	因为他知道他在任何街角都得不到这个
18	I think the question all men want to know,	我想所有男人都想知道的问题
19	it's a very basic one, is what do women want?	这是一个非常基本的问题, 女人想要什么?
20	It's a very heavy one.	其重甚重.
21	There's a lot to it, right?	有很多问题,对吧?
22	There is a lot to that.	这一点有很多。
23	That was the greatest mystery to Freud	这是弗洛伊德最大的谜团
24	and the fathers of psychology.	和心理学之父。
25	The true and unsatisfying answer	真实和不满意的答案
26	is women want what they want.	女人想要的东西。
27	And the secondary to that is women want	其次是女人想要
28	what other women want.	其他女人想要的东西
29	Often women want what other women want more	女人常常想要其他女人想要的东西
30	than they want what's best for themselves.	比他们想要的更适合自己
31	This has to do with the fact that both men and women	这跟男人和女人都有关系
32	are playing two different games simultaneously.	正在同时玩两个不同的游戏。
33	Both sexes are playing their own intrasexual status games	两性都在玩自己的性生活游戏
34	and they're also playing intersexual power games.	他们也在玩性能力游戏
35	And it's very difficult for a man to win both of those games	一个人很难赢得这两场比赛
36	or a woman to win both of those games simultaneously.	或者一个女人同时赢得这两场比赛
37	For instance, a man could potentially	例如,一个人有可能
38	simp powerfully for a woman and be at her beck and call	对一个女人来说很粗鲁, 直呼着她
39	and yes dear, sweetheart, and buy her flowers and roses.	是的亲爱的给她买花和玫瑰
40	And that might work in the short term	这在短期内可能可行
41	to attract a woman into a relationship.	吸引一个女人进入一个关系。
42	But that man isn't going to be elevated in status	但那个人不会被提升地位
43	within his own intrasexual hierarchy.	在他自己的性内部等级。
44	So other men aren't really going to look at that behavior	所以其他人不会真的看这种行为
45	admiringly, admiringly, and that's going to be	赞美,赞美,这将是
46	potentially a liability for that person.	有可能是此人的责任。
47	By the same token, a lot of modern women are in this trap	同样,很多现代女性也陷入了这个陷阱
48	where some of the behavior that might work	其中的一些行为可能有效
49	to get them the kind of relationship they want	让他们得到他们想要的那种关系
50	from the men they want to have that relationship with	从男人他们想有这种关系
51	is frowned upon by their fellow woman.	他们的同胞们,
52	It's basically the equivalent of simping in men.	基本上相当于在男人中作简化.
53	And the equivalent of simping in men for women	和男人对女人的简化
54	is anything that has to do with, let's say,	与一切有关,让我们说,
55	traditional reactionary feminine behavior.	传统的反动女性行为。
56	That I am going to be submissive for a man.	我会为一个人屈服
57	That I am going to wait for him.	我要等着他
58	That's how it used to be where a woman,	过去女人就是这样
59	what was that in the Odyssey, where Penelope waited	是什么在奥德赛, 佩内洛普等待
60	for 20 years for Odysseus to come home	20年奥德修斯回家
61	and all of the suitors of Greece had taken over her house	希腊的所有求婚者都接管了她的房子
62	and she still refused to believe that Odysseus was dead.	她仍然拒绝相信奥德修斯死了
63	I mean, that's a model for feminine loyalty	我是说,那是女性忠诚的典范
64	that, I mean, it's a myth, but it's something	我的意思是,这是一个神话,但它的东西
65	that you don't see so often anymore.	你不再经常见到
66	The idea that I'm going to serve a man	我要为男人服务的想法
67	or make his life easier or do any kind of domestic help,	或让他的生活变得轻松或做任何种类的家庭帮助,
68	all of these things would be seen as almost a betrayal	所有这些事情都会被视为背叛
69	of her gender at this point.	她现在的性别。
70	And so, even though those behaviors	所以,即使那些行为
71	might instrumentally help her get the kind of relationship	可能帮助她获得那种关系
72	she wants with the man she wants to have	她想和她想要的那个人在一起
73	that relationship with, it would come at the cost	关系,会付出的代价
74	of, let's say, the respect of the women	例如,尊重妇女
75	that she's competing against	她正在竞争
76	in her own intersexual status games.	在她自己的性关系状态游戏。
77	So this is kind of how we get into our own ways these days.	因此,这就是我们如何进入我们自己的方式。
78	好吧,你有一个YouTube频道名为Physic Hacks,
79	which is, I believe, is gonna be the hottest YouTube channel	这将是最热门的YouTube频道
80	in the world, I think.	我认为,在世界上。
81	I think it's just the most fascinating thing	我觉得这只是最迷人的事情
82	我在YouTube上见过
83	One of your talks is on how, how is it titled?	你的谈话之一是如何,如何标题?
84	Any woman can, a woman can get any man she wants?	任何女人都可以,女人可以得到任何她想要的男人吗?
85	How to get any man you want.	如何获得任何你想要的男人。
86	Yes, and it's geared towards women.	是的,它面向女人。
87	And there are three steps to that, right?	还有三个步骤,对吧?
88	Talk to me about that.	跟我谈谈
89	Sure, first of all, I'll go a little bit more	当然,首先,我会去多一点
90	what I say in those three videos,	我在这三个视频里说的话
91	because this is important.	因为这很重要
92	There are two general approaches to dating,	有两种一般的约会方法,
93	and I call them hunting and fishing.	我称之为狩猎和钓鱼。
94	Hunting is where you can target a very specific person	猎杀是可以瞄准一个非常具体的人的地方
95	for a potential relationship,	潜在的关系,
96	and pursue that one person.	追踪那个人
97	Fishing is more or less you cast a wide net,	钓鱼或多或少你投了一个宽网,
98	and you develop optionality,	你们可以选择,
99	and you choose the best option	你选择最好的选择
100	that also has already chosen you.	也已经选择了你
101	And I think it's actually in most women's best interests	我觉得这实际上符合大多数女性的最大利益
102	to hunt.	狩猎。
103	Women can hunt in the dating market	女人可以在约会市场打猎
104	much better than men can.	比男人强得多
105	This is due to the fact that there is an enormous asymmetry	这是因为存在着巨大的不对称现象
106	between men and women's openness to a sexual relationship.	男女之间对性关系的开放。
107	I'm gonna take a little bit of detour,	我要绕路走
108	I'm gonna get back to your question.	我会回到你的问题。
109	One of my all-time favorite psychological studies	我最喜欢的心理研究之一
110	took place on a college campus a few decades ago.	发生在几十年前的一个大学校园里.
111	And the researchers were trying to examine	研究人员试图检查
112	men and women's differential attitudes towards casual sex.	男女对随意性行为的不同态度。
113	And what they did is they got a attractive young college man,	他们做了一个有吸引力的年轻大学生
114	an attractive young college woman,	一个迷人的年轻女大学生,
115	and they basically memorized the same script,	他们基本上记住同样的剧本,
116	and went up to members of the opposite sex on campus.	升到校园里的异性成员。
117	And the script was basically like,	剧本基本上就像,
118	hey, I've seen you around school.	嘿我在学校见过你
119	I think you're very attractive.	我觉得你很有吸引力
120	Would you like to come to bed with me?	你想跟我上床吗?
121	Something like that.	类似的东西。
122	Women are always saying, I want an honest guy.	女人总是说我想要一个诚实的人
123	I want a guy to tell me what his true intentions are.	我要一个人告诉我他的真实意图
124	This is about as honest and true as a guy can get.	这和男人一样诚实真实
125	How many women do you think responded yes to that overture?	你认为有多少女人答应了?
126	Oh, they're all gonna say no.	哦,他们都会说不。
127	100%, 100% of the women approached,	100%,100%的妇女接近,
128	that's a 0% success rate, said they were not interested.	成功率是0% 他们说他们不感兴趣
129	In fact, many of them got offended and angry	事实上,他们中很多人都生气了
130	at the supposition.	在假设。
131	And what happened with the women?	女人们怎么了?
132	When the women approached men, 75% said yes.	当女性接近男性时,75%的人同意.
133	Only 75.	只有75个
134	Well, that's probably because the other 25%	可能是因为另外25%
135	were looking for where the hidden camera was	正在寻找隐藏的相机在哪里
136	because this was such a strange and unusual circumstance.	因为这是个奇怪和不寻常的情况。
137	They knew that something was up about this.	他们知道这件事有问题
138	And so they probably, their spidey sense was tingling.	因此,他们可能, 他们的spidey感是微弱的。
139	And so they holstered it	于是他们就把它包起来了
140	and they did the socially acceptable response.	他们做出了社会上可接受的反应。
141	That's my interpretation anyway.	反正这是我的解释
142	So the fact of the matter is,	所以事情的事实是,
143	is that most women could just go up to a guy	大部分女人都只能去找一个男人
144	and offer to initiate a sexual relationship	并主动提出建立性关系
145	and she is overwhelmingly likely	她绝对有可能
146	to get a positive response.	以获得积极的响应。
147	Now, women generally respond,	现在,女人一般会回应,
148	well, Orion, that's just sex.	好吧,猎户座,那只是性。
149	I don't want to just have a sexual relationship	我不想仅仅发生性关系
150	with a guy.	和一个男人
151	I want to have an emotional relationship.	我想有一个情感的关系。
152	I want to have a committed relationship.	我想有一个坚定的关系。
153	I say, okay, that's fine.	我说,好吧,没关系。
154	But how else are you gonna get the foot in the door?	但你要怎么把脚伸进门里?
155	It's like, you have to understand women	这就像,你必须了解女人
156	that sex is like the Trojan horse	性爱就像特洛伊马
157	that gets you into the gates of the city.	让你进入城门
158	That's what allows men to open up and let you in.	才允许男人打开门让你进来
159	Now, if they let you in and then they just kick you out,	现在,如果他们让你进来然后他们就把你赶出去
160	well, that was a blown opportunity.	好吧,这是一个被吹嘘的机会。
161	Like once you're in, there are things that you can	碞钩秈妓 Τㄇㄆ暗
162	and should do to stay there.	并且应该留下来
163	But you can't do those things until he lets you in.	但是在他让你进去之前你不能这么做
164	And the way to be let in to the gates of the city	进入城门的道路
165	is to provide a sexual opportunity.	提供性的机会。
166	And most men are willing to have sex with most women,	大多数男人愿意和大多数女人做爱
167	whereas the converse is certainly not true.	事实并非如此。
168	That's why women can hunt	这就是为什么女人可以打猎
169	and that's why women should hunt.	这就是为什么女人应该打猎。
170	They should target specific men.	他们应该针对特定的人。
171	They should do their research.	他们应该做他们的研究。
172	They should try to do as much stalking,	他们应该努力做很多跟踪,
173	broadly defined on their target as possible.	目标范围尽可能广泛。
174	They need to know who is this guy?	他们需要知道这家伙是谁?
175	What is he like?	他长什么样?
176	What is he not like?	他不喜欢什么?
177	What are his foibles?	他的弱点是什么?
178	What's his reputation like?	他的名声怎么样?
179	The more information that she has,	她掌握的信息越多
180	the more that she can bait her hook with	她越能诱饵她的钩子
181	for that particular man.	为了那个男人
182	And of course, the most succulent, juicy bait	当然,最有汁味的诱饵
183	is a sexual opportunity, okay?	这是一个性的机会,好吗?
184	So once a woman has decided that this is the man	所以一旦一个女人决定这是男人
185	that she would like to target for a relationship,	她想成为恋人
186	there's a few things that she has to do.	有几件事她必须做。
187	One is she needs to make it clear	一是她要讲清楚
188	that she is open to a sexual relationship,	她喜欢性关系,
189	that she is not going to put up much resistance at all.	她根本不会反抗的
190	There's a kind of an art to this.	有一类的艺术。
191	If a woman just kind of goes up to a guy and says,	如果一个女人只是那种上到一个男人说,
192	oh, I'm yours, that's going to be kind of unusual	哦,我是你的,这将是一种不寻常的
193	and it's gonna make the guy potentially standoffish.	这会让那家伙潜在的僵持。
194	So women have to put themselves in front of the guy,	所以女人必须把自己放在男人面前
195	just like in olden days,	就像以前一样
196	where they would kind of drop the handkerchief and bend over	他们把手帕放下弯腰
197	and the guy would be like, hmm, my lucky day, you know?	这家伙会喜欢,嗯,我的幸运日,你知道吗?
198	We often think of men initiating,	我们经常想到男人发起,
199	but often women initiate the initiation.	但通常由妇女发起。
200	You understand?	你明白吗?
201	And if a woman is just waiting for a guy to do that	如果一个女人只是等待一个男人这样做
202	and she's not initiating the initiation,	而且她没有启动启动,
203	I don't have a lot of sympathy because she has this,	我没什么同情心因为她有这个
204	she's sitting on this incredible gender-specific success rate	她正坐在这个不可思议的性别成功率
205	that has to do with initiation, okay?	这和启动有关,好吗?
206	So a woman needs to make it clear	所以女人要说清楚
207	that she is open to a sexual relationship with a guy	她喜欢和男人发生性关系
208	because that's the Trojan horse to get into the city.	因为那是特洛伊马进入城市。
209	And in general, to keep a man,	一般来说,为了留住一个人
210	it's important for a woman	这对女人很重要
211	to not just offer a sexual opportunity,	不只是提供性的机会,
212	but to be the nastiest, sluttiest version	但成为最讨厌最淫荡的版本
213	of herself possible.	可能的话
214	And there's a number of good reasons for why this is true.	然此真谛有种种妙因.
215	First of all, and foremost,	首先,最重要的是,
216	men, whether or not it's true, but it's mostly true,	男人们,无论这是否是真的, 但大多是真实的,
217	men gauge a woman's interest and attraction in him	男人衡量女人对他的兴趣和吸引力
218	by what she is willing to do with him sexually.	她愿意和他发生性关系
219	It's been very well-documented,	证据确凿
220	and I think all men understand this on like a gut level,	我想所有的男人都理解这一点就像一个直觉层面,
221	that women will do more things faster in the bedroom	女人会做更多的事情在卧室更快
222	with men that they like and they're attracted to	他们喜欢的男人他们被吸引
223	than with men that they are not.	比那些男人还难受
224	And so when a woman is the nastiest, sluttiest version	所以,当一个女人最讨厌,最淫荡的版本
225	of herself possible,	可能的话,
226	what she's functionally communicating with her behavior,	她的功能沟通与她的行为,
227	which is the only thing that really matters,	这才是真正重要的
228	not with her words, but with her actions,	不是用她的话而是用她的行为
229	that you are the most desirable man I've ever met,	你是我见过的最理想的人
230	and I am willing to break the rules for you	我愿意为你打破规则
231	that I strongly, rigidly enforce with all other men.	我强烈地,严格地执行与所有其他男人。
232	And that's going to play to a man's ego,	这将会让一个人的自我化为现实
233	which is a trap for men,	这是男人的陷阱,
234	but women should absolutely use that to their advantage	但是女人应该绝对利用它来谋取自己的利益
235	whenever possible.	尽可能
236	I mean, all's fair in love and war, right?	我是说,爱情和战争是公平的,对吧?
237	That's gonna make the man feel like he's a king	那会让人觉得自己是国王
238	of the boudoir, he's going to feel like,	在舞厅,他会觉得,
239	and it's gonna put him in his masculine.	它会让他的男性。
240	All good things, because when a man is put into his masculine	所有好事,因为当一个人被投入他的男性
241	and he feels that there is a beautiful woman	他觉得有一个美丽的女人
242	who is sexually submissive to him,	谁是顺从他的。
243	it triggers his instinct to protect and to provide,	它触发了他的本能保护并提供,
244	which, how does that not redound to the woman's benefit?	什么,这怎么不恢复妇女的利益?
245	You know what I'm saying?	你知道我在说什么吗?
246	It's actually a very easy con on the part of the women.	这其实是一个非常容易骗女人。
247	I don't know a guy that wouldn't fall for that.	我不认识一个不会相信的人
248	It's very hard to do, man.	这很难做,男人。
249	So, by being the nastiest, sluttiest version	所以,通过做最讨厌,最淫荡的版本
250	of yourself possible, women are communicating	女人在交流
251	that I'm willing to break the rules for you	我愿意为你打破规则
252	because I'm putting you above all other men,	因为我把你置于其他男人之上,
253	which is going to stimulate his ego	这会刺激他的自我
254	and put him into that position.	并把他置于那个位置。
255	Now, that's also gonna keep him coming back.	现在,这也将使他回来。
256	You have to understand that	你必须明白
257	one of my very first episodes years ago	我几年前的第一集
258	was everyone is unique and everyone is replaceable.	每个人都是独一无二的,每个人都可以替代。
259	Both of those things are true.	这两件事都是真的。
260	That's one of the paradoxes of being alive.	这就是活着的悖论之一.
261	You are a unique individual.	你是一个独特的个体。
262	No one like you has ever existed before	从来没有像你这样的人存在过
263	and will never exist again.	永远不再存在
264	But once you're gone,	但一旦你离开
265	people will be making interviews like this.	人们会做这样的采访。
266	And once I'm gone, people will be sitting here	一旦我走了,人们就会坐在这里
267	answering questions like this.	回答这样的问题。
268	And that's how the whole game continues forever.	整个游戏就是这样持续下去的.
269	And thank God for that,	感谢上帝,
270	or else everything would come crumbling down on some level.	否则一切都会崩溃的
271	So, bad for the individual, but good for society	所以,对个人不好,但对社会有好处
272	and the perpetuation of the game, let's put it that way.	和游戏的延续, 让我们这样说。
273	So, if a woman simply provides	所以,如果一个女人只是提供
274	a run-of-the-mill sexual opportunity,	一个奔跑的性机会,
275	that's very easy to replace.	这很容易被替换
276	And the fact of the matter is,	而事实是,
277	is that sex in today's marketplace is extremely cheap.	今天市场上的性生活非常便宜
278	It's cheap because sex must now precede commitment.	这是便宜的,因为性现在必须先承诺。
279	There's a whole other spiel I can give you	还有一大堆小东西我可以给你
280	about why that's the case,	关于为什么是这样,
281	but let's table that for now,	但是,让我们现在讨论,
282	because I still want to answer your question.	因为我还是想回答你的问题
283	That's changed since our parents' generation, perhaps.	自从我们父母这一代以后,情况就变了
284	It's changed in the last 60 years	过去60年变了
285	and the main instigator of the change was birth control.	改变的主要动机是节育。
286	Two-minute sidebar,	两分钟的侧边栏,
287	the reason why commitment had to precede sex for so long	为何如此之久必须先于性的原因
288	is because the threat of pregnancy always loomed large.	因为怀孕的威胁总是很大。
289	And in that day, it was extremely difficult,	在那一天,这是非常困难的,
290	if not impossible, for a woman to earn her own money	如果不是不可能的话女人自己赚钱
291	and to survive in society without the protection	在没有保护的社会中生存
292	or provision of a man or a governmental program	提供男子或政府方案
293	that served as its surrogate.	成为它的代理。
294	And all of those things have changed.	所有这些事情都改变了。
295	The reason why commitment was required before sex	要求在性别之前作出承诺的原因
296	was because the stakes of a woman becoming pregnant	因为女人怀孕的赌注
297	outside of marriage were extremely high	婚外结婚的比例极高
298	and it was upheld socially	并得到了社会支持
299	because if that man couldn't be persuaded	因为如果那个男人不能被说服
300	or coerced to commit,	或强迫实施,
301	then that single unwed mother and her children	然后单身未婚母亲和她的孩子
302	would have become society's problem.	就会成为社会的问题
303	So all of these things have changed.	所以这些事情都变了。
304	Women can and do earn their own money.	妇女能够并且确实自己赚钱。
305	There are all kinds of governmental programs	有各种各样的政府方案
306	to subsidize single mothers.	补贴单身母亲。
307	Men, whether they commit to this arrangement or not,	男人们,无论他们承诺与否,
308	are legally required to give women child support	法律要求给予妇女子女抚养费;
309	for the children that they sire,	他们为自己的子嗣而祈祷,
310	in some cases, even for the children that they don't.	在某些情况下,甚至对孩子来说,他们没有。
311	So the circumstances for requiring commitment	因此,需要承诺的情况
312	prior to sex have shifted.	性爱之前已经转移。
313	And once a few women started to be okay	一旦有几位女人开始没事
314	with a sexual relationship	性关系
315	prior to an exclusive commitment or marriage,	在作出独家承诺或结婚之前,
316	once a critical mass was reached,	一旦达到临界质量,
317	then functionally all other women had to do the same	然后在功能上所有其他女人也一样
318	in order to remain competitive	为了保持竞争力
319	within the sexual marketplace.	在性市场。
320	Because in today's day and age,	因为今天这个时代
321	if a woman were, if you were to go out on the first date	如果一个女人是, 如果你要出去在第一次约会
322	with a woman and she were to insist,	和一个女人在一起她坚持
323	well, I'm not gonna have sex until I get married,	好吧,我不做爱直到我结婚,
324	especially if she's not a virgin,	尤其是如果她不是处女
325	I mean, she's going to price herself	我的意思是,她会给自己定价
326	out of the sexual marketplace.	离开性市场。
327	That's going to be too expensive for any given man	这对任何人来说都太贵了
328	when there's a woman two swipes away	当有一个女人两个刷子离开
329	who's going to be willing to go home with him	谁愿意跟他回家
330	for a drink or two.	喝两杯
331	So that's the situation that we live in	这就是我们的生活
332	for better or for worse.	无论是好还是坏
333	So sex is kind of the standard.	所以性是一种标准。
334	We used to say, why buy the cow	我们常说,为什么买牛
335	if you can get the milk for free, right?	如果你可以免费得到牛奶,对不对?
336	Well, that presumes that milk	嗯,这假设牛奶
337	wasn't being freely distributed in the pasture.	并不是在草原上自由分布
338	But now that milk is freely being distributed	但是现在牛奶是免费分发的
339	in the pasture, you have to give milk,	在草场里,你们得给乳汁,
340	not because milk will motivate anyone	不是因为牛奶会激励别人
341	to make the sale, but because not providing milk	但因为不提供牛奶
342	is going to be in a strange absence.	将是一个奇怪的缺席。
343	It's going to be more expensive for the buyer	对买家来说会更贵的
344	in a way that none of the competitors are requiring, okay?	某种方式,没有竞争者要求,好吗?
345	So this is the world that we live in for better or for worse.	所以这就是我们生活的世界无论好坏
346	So when women provide a sexual opportunity,	所以当女人提供性的机会,
347	it's a good idea to not just be a run-of-the-mill	这是个好主意不只是一个跑步
348	sexual opportunity.	性机会。
349	Because let me tell you,	因为让我告诉你,
350	I've worked with thousands of men	我和无数男人一起工作过
351	in my private practice and in my consultations,	在我的私人实践和磋商中,
352	and men fall in love with strippers,	男人爱上脱衣舞娘,
353	men fall in love with prostitutes,	男人爱上妓女,
354	men fall in love with women with personality disorders	男人爱上性格有问题的女人
355	every single day.	每一天都这样
356	Why is that?	为什么?
357	Is it because these women love them so much?	是因为这些女人这么爱她们吗?
358	Is it because they're kind?	是因为他们是善良的吗?
359	Is it because they're supportive or virtuous?	是因为他们支持还是善良?
360	No, it's because they fuck these men	不,是因为他们操了这些人
361	to the point where their brains start to melt, okay?	到他们的大脑开始融化的程度,好吗?
362	And when a man has brain-melting, face-skewing,	当一个人有大脑的熔炼, 脸吸,
363	life-altering sex, it's like a drug,	改变生命的性, 它就像一种药物,
364	and it's like all that that guy can think about.	就像那家伙能想到的一样
365	And that guy isn't gonna just hit and quit a woman	那家伙不会只是打和退出一个女人
366	who does the freaky nasty shit for him	谁会为他做那些恶心的事
367	because he knows he can't get that on any street corner.	因为他知道他在任何街角都得不到这个
368	That's the second time I've laughed in 8,000 interviews.	8000次采访中,我第二次笑了.
369	The first time was last week.	第一次是上周。
370	So, I mean, does this make sense to you?	所以,我的意思是,这有道理吗?
371	It makes perfect sense.	这是完全合理的。
372	Okay, so they used to say that the way	好吧,所以他们常说的方式
373	to a man's heart is through his stomach.	对一个人的心脏通过他的胃。
374	It's actually just a few inches lower.	它实际上只是少了几英寸。
375	And there's no reason why,	而且没有理由,
376	I mean, all these are like behaviors.	我的意思是,所有这些就像行为。
377	There's no reason why a non-stripper,	没有任何理由一个非刺客,
378	slash prostitute, slash borderline,	斜线妓女斜线妓女
379	couldn't learn to do some of the things in the bedroom	无法学会做一些事情在卧室里
380	that these women tend to do	这些女人往往做
381	and to get men obsessed with them, okay?	并让男人迷恋他们,好吗?
382	So, once you target a man	所以,一旦你瞄准一个人
383	and you provide the sexual opportunity	你提供性的机会
384	and you're the nastiest, sluttiest version of yourself,	你是你最讨厌最淫荡的版本
385	then you have an in.	然后,你有一个英寸
386	Like you're within the city	就像你在城里一样
387	and you're not going to be kicked out anytime soon.	而且你不会很快被赶出去。
388	You're not gonna be pumped and dumped	你不会被抽动和抛弃的
389	if you're an amazing, over-the-top sexual experience, okay?	如果你是一个惊人的, 超顶级的性经验,好吗?
390	It's very, very important.	这很重要
391	And you don't wanna do this with everybody	你不想和大家一起做这个
392	because that just is a race to the bottom too	因为那也只是一场比赛
393	because it becomes harder and harder	因为它变得越来越难
394	to be the nastiest, sluttiest version of yourself	成为你最讨厌最淫荡的版本
395	if you're that with every single guy.	如果你跟每个男人都这样
396	That's why you have to do your homework	所以你必须做功课
397	and you want to hunt and you wanna target specific men.	你想打猎想瞄准特定的人
398	It's important to be very selective as a woman	女人要有选择很重要
399	because men have a very understandable,	因为男人有一个非常明白的,
400	but from a woman's perspective,	但从女人的角度来看,
401	extremely frustrating double standard	极为令人沮丧的双重标准
402	with respect to female chastity.	关于女性贞操。
403	Chastity is something that they would highly prize in a wife	贞洁是她们对妻子的高度评价
404	and don't wanna see anything in a casual lover.	不想在临时情人中看到任何东西
405	But the fact of the matter is	但事实是
406	that the pathway to become a wife	成为妻子的道路
407	for the vast majority of women	妇女人数
408	is through the casual lover route.	是通过临时情人路线。
409	Most women will see this happening.	大多数妇女都会看到这种情况的发生。
410	They'll be with a guy casually for some months,	他们会随便和一个男人在一起几个月
411	maybe even some years, and then the guy will catch feelings.	也许甚至几年, 然后这家伙会抓住感觉。
412	Usually guys, it takes a little bit longer	通常,男人,需要一点时间
413	for them to catch feelings.	让他们抓住感情
414	And then they'll start to ask questions.	然后他们开始问问题。
415	How many guys you've been with?	你和多少人在一起过?
416	What's your family like?	你家人怎么样?
417	Patrice O'Neil曾经有一个伟大的笑话
418	where his girlfriend had been with him for seven years	他的女朋友和他在一起已经七年了
419	and he had been with her for four.	他已经和她在一起4年了
420	Like it took three years for him to kind of like	好像他花了三年时间才变得像
421	see that woman as his girlfriend, you know?	把那个女人当成他的女朋友
422	And that's when the relationship begins to shift.	而此时关系开始转变.
423	And that's when the guy starts to become	这时候他开始变成
424	a little bit more possessive potentially.	可能更占有性一点
425	Don't go out to the club or why are you dressed like that?	不要去俱乐部或者为什么你穿成这样?
426	They're not gonna act like that on the first date.	他们不会在第一次约会时那样
427	They're just looking to smash, right?	他们只是想打碎,对不对?
428	So the fact of the matter is	所以事实就是
429	most men don't show up on first dates thinking,	大部分男人不会在第一次约会时出现
430	oh, please, Jesus, Allah, Buddha,	哦,请,耶稣,阿拉,佛祖,
431	make this the last date I ever have to go on.	把这作为我最后一次约会
432	I'm ready for the one.	我准备好了
433	I'm ready for my wife.	我为我的妻子准备好了。
434	I wanna settle down today.	今天我想安顿下来
435	They're looking, they're thinking,	他们在看,他们在想,
436	I hope she mostly looks like her pictures	我希望她看起来很像她的照片
437	and she lets me smash.	她让我打碎。
438	That's what most guys are thinking.	大多数人都这么想
439	So to get, and a lot of women,	所以为了得到, 很多女人,
440	when they show up to their first date,	当他们第一次约会时
441	they're not thinking, I sure hope this guy	他们没在想,我希望这家伙
442	just buys me a couple of drinks,	只是请我喝两杯
443	uses me sexually and never calls me again, you know?	利用我性欲再也不给我打电话,你知道吗?
444	And yet that can happen, right?	但是,这可能会发生,对不对?
445	So it's like most women don't show up on a date	所以大多数女人都不约会
446	thinking or expecting that they're gonna go back	想着或者想着他们会回去
447	to a guy's house and have sex.	去男人家做爱
448	And yet that happens every, like all the time, right?	却总是这样对吧?
449	Why?	为什么?
450	Because that guy had a plan, that guy had some game,	因为那家伙有计划, 那家伙有一些游戏,
451	and that guy was moving interaction	那家伙在移动互动
452	in the direction of that kind of relationship.	在那种关系的方向。
453	The same thing happens for the committed relationships	承诺的关系也一样
454	that women want.	这是女人想要的。
455	They don't just happen.	他们不只是发生。
456	They happen because a woman had a plan,	发生这种情况是因为一个女人有计划
457	she had some game, and she was guiding the relationship	她有一些游戏, 她指导的关系
458	in the direction of that kind of encounter.	在那种交锋的方向。
459	Very few guys are gonna give that voluntarily,	很少有人会自愿送货
460	just like very few women are just handing out sex to guys	就像很少有女人在给男人发性爱
461	just because they want it, right?	只是因为他们想要,对不对?
462	Wanting is free.	想要是免费的。
463	It costs nothing to want things.	想要的东西并不费钱。
464	My wanting sex from women has never persuaded	我对女人的渴望从未说服过
465	any single woman to give it to me in my entire life.	任何单身女人都会给我
466	Why would a woman wanting commitment or marriage	为什么一个女人想要承诺或结婚
467	or exclusivity or et cetera,	或排他性或等等,
468	why should that motivate me in and of itself	为什么这应该激励我本身
469	to give that to her?	把它给她?
470	Like there has to be some back and forth,	就像一定有一些前后,
471	there has to be some strategy,	一定有一些策略,
472	and there has to be some,	一定有一些,
473	the value proposition has to make sense.	价值建议必须合理。
474	So to boil down the transaction	所以,把交易整理下来
475	that's hopefully taking place,	希望这是发生在,
476	the woman is looking for a commitment	那个女人在寻找承诺
477	and a better lifestyle,	和更好的生活方式,
478	and the man is looking for an attractive sexual partner.	男人正在寻找一个迷人的性伴侣。
479	Most guys don't get beyond that, that's right.	多数人不会超越这个范围没错
480	They're like, I just wanted to have sex.	他们喜欢,我只是想做爱。
481	That's why I called you up, you looked hot.	这就是为什么我打电话给你, 你看起来很性感。
482	And eventually, hopefully they develop feelings.	最终,希望他们发展出感情。
483	Often, not always.	经常,并不总是。
484	Not always.	并不总是
485	But yeah, I mean, what did Hannibal Lecter say?	但是,是的,我的意思是, 汉尼拔莱克特说什么?
486	We covet what we see every day.	我们日复一日地渴望所见
487	So it's like, and there's the psychological term for that	所以,它就像, 有一个心理术语
488	I think is the mere exposure effect,	我认为仅仅是暴露效应,
489	which is the well-documented phenomenon	这是有充分记载的现象
490	that people just feel more positively	人们只是觉得更积极
491	towards people, brands, ideas that they see every day.	对人们,品牌,想法他们每天都看到。
492	That's part of why marketing works,	这就是为什么营销工作的一部分,
493	is that if I give you two brands	如果我给你两个牌子
494	and you've heard of this one	你听说过这个
495	and you haven't heard of this one,	你没听说过这个
496	you're gonna feel more positively disposed towards this one	你会觉得对这个更积极
497	just because you're familiar with it.	只是因为你熟悉它。
498	In fact, a great deal of dating	事实上,很多约会
499	and the emotion attached to that	和情感的附着
500	is really just familiarity,	真的只是熟悉, 说说看,
501	as opposed to, let's say, love.	而不是,让我们说,爱。
502	But I digress.	但我会分身
503	Okay, so a woman's in,	好吧,所以一个女人英寸
504	she's now being the nastiest latest version of herself.	她现在是她最恶心的最新版本自己。
505	So how can she convert that	所以她怎么能改变这个
506	into the kind of relationship that she wants?	进入她想要的那种关系?
507	The key to stay there,	留在那里的钥匙,
508	the key to deepen the intimacy of that relationship	深化这种关系的关键
509	beyond a pure sexual dynamic	超越纯粹的性动力
510	is for the woman to become useful.	是为了让女人变得有用
511	She has to be of use to the man	她一定对男人有用
512	in order to justify her introduction	以证明她的介绍是合理的
513	into increasingly intimate circles of his lifestyle.	他的生活方式越来越亲密
514	So let's go out on the limb and say that the men	所以让我们出去的四肢并说男人
515	that the women are generally targeting	妇女一般以
516	for their relationships are not just like shmoes	因为他们的关系不只是像洗手间
517	who are sleeping on the couch in their parents' basement.	他们睡在他们父母的地下室的沙发上
518	These are generally guys who are successful,	这些人一般都是成功的
519	who are rich, who are high status,	他们是富裕的,是崇高的,
520	who have prestigious professions.	他们有崇高的职业。
521	Maybe they're famous.	也许他们很出名
522	Like, these women weren't there for this guy's struggles.	喜欢,这些女人不在那里这家伙的挣扎。
523	They weren't there for when he was up and coming.	他起身来的时候他们不在
524	They're targeting him now	他们现在瞄准他了
525	because of his fully extrapolated lifestyle, okay?	因为他完全推论的生活方式,好吗?
526	That's basically the biggest bait	这基本上是最大的诱饵
527	that men can use to attract women is lifestyle.	男人可以用来吸引女人就是生活方式
528	The joke is basically that men want the Barbie doll.	笑话是男人想要芭比娃娃
529	That's it.	就这样
530	We'll take the clothes off and just, we want the doll.	我们把衣服脱了,我们想要娃娃
531	Don't tell me the name, don't tell me the story.	别告诉我名字,别告诉我故事
532	We just want the doll.	我们只要那娃娃
533	And what women want is all the shit the Ken doll comes with.	女人想要的就是肯娃娃带来的狗屎
534	That's why there's Cowboy Ken and there's Stockbroker Ken	这就是为什么有牛仔肯和股票经纪人肯
535	and there's Malibu Stacy Ken.	还有马里布·斯泰西·肯
536	And they'll throw the Ken away	他们会把肯丢掉
537	and they'll just play with the accessories	他们只是玩配件
538	and the dream house.	还有梦中之屋
539	And that's why the gendered complaints	这就是为什么性别投诉
540	always fall along the lines	总是沿着这条线坠落
541	of the man is just using me, the woman, for sex	那个男人只是利用我这个女人来做爱
542	and the woman is just using me, the man, for my resources	女人只是利用我,男人, 为了我的资源
543	and won't even fuck me.	连我都不干
544	I have never ever in my life heard a woman complain to me,	我这辈子从没听过女人向我抱怨
545	I pay for the house, I pay for the car,	我付房子,我付车,
546	I gave him the kids that he wanted	我给了他想要的孩子
547	and he still won't touch me.	他还是不会碰我。
548	I've never heard that, not even once.	我从来没有听说过, 甚至一次。
549	And I've never heard a man complain	我从来没有听说过一个男人抱怨
550	that he was just being used by a woman sexually.	他被一个女人利用了
551	I, sometimes in my past, I've wondered	我,有时在我的过去,我想知道
552	if I just wasn't attractive enough	如果我不够吸引人
553	to be used sexually by a woman.	被一个女人性地利用
554	I mean, I think it might even be	我的意思是,我觉得它甚至可能是
555	kind of a refreshing change of pace.	节奏的变了
556	And that's an interesting failure,	这是一个有趣的失败,
557	intersexual understanding that men don't often see	性间的理解男人不常看到
558	the problem of being sexually objectified	被性攻击的问题
559	because they think it's a compliment,	因为他们觉得那是赞美
560	but I can see how it would be uncomfortable	但我看得出来会很不舒服
561	for women to be sexually objectified	使妇女成为性对象
562	by men that they don't want to be sexually objectified by.	他们不想被性攻击
563	So, once you're in, you want to be useful.	所以,一旦你加入,你想成为有用的。
564	This guy has been targeted by you	这家伙被你盯上了
565	because he's got a lot going on.	因为他有很多事情要做
566	Don't create problems for him	别给他制造麻烦
567	because the more you rock the boat,	因为越是摇动船,
568	the more time, energy, and attention	时间、精力和注意力
569	he has to take away from everything that's working,	他必须放弃一切工作
570	which is why you're there,	这就是为什么你在那里,
571	is to enjoy the extrapolated lifestyle to focus on you.	享受你的生活方式
572	So, don't rock the boat,	所以,不要摇船,
573	don't make any unnecessary problems,	不要制造任何不必要的问题,
574	and then look around.	然后看看周围。
575	Like, open your eyes, open your ears, listen to the guy.	比如,睁开眼睛,睁开耳朵,听那个人的话
576	The guy will tell you all the time where he's struggling,	那家伙会告诉你他一直在挣扎的地方,
577	where he still needs assistance,	在那里他仍然需要帮助,
578	where his bottlenecks happen to be,	他的瓶颈恰好是
579	and then just start to help him.	然后开始帮他
580	Just start to help him.	刚刚开始帮助他。
581	If you see that something needs to be done	如果你看到需要做点什么
582	and no one else is doing it,	而没有人这样做,
583	congratulations, you've just been elected, you know?	恭喜,你刚刚当选,你知道吗?
584	And why would you do this?	你为什么要这么做?
585	Because I know a lot of women out there are thinking,	因为我知道很多女人在想
586	Ryan, this is a terrible idea.	瑞安,这是个糟糕的主意。
587	I'm gonna have to like,	我必须喜欢,
588	what am I getting out of all this?	我从这得到什么?
589	I have to do all this stuff for a man?	我必须为男人做这些事?
590	Well, what you're getting out of this is job security.	好吧,你得到的是工作保障。
591	Because the idea here is once you start to do things	因为一旦你开始做事
592	in an instrumental way that are necessary	以必要的工具方式
593	for the maintenance and the propagation	维修和传播
594	of this man's lifestyle,	这个人的生活方式,
595	you become essentially indispensable to the whole machinery.	你成为整个机器不可或缺的人
596	It would be very difficult or painful	这将是非常困难或痛苦的
597	to extricate you from all of the good stuff	让你摆脱所有好东西
598	that that guy has.	那个家伙有。
599	That's where he's vulnerable, where he needs help.	他在那里很脆弱,需要帮助
600	Because if you show up, don't see that as like a chore,	因为如果你出现, 不要把它看成一个胆小鬼,
601	see that as an opportunity.	认为这是一个机会。
602	Oh, I'll take care of that, that's great.	哦,我会处理的,这是伟大的。
603	Because it gives you one more like purchase into that life.	因为它给你一个像购买生活。
604	If you can take care of that,	如果你能处理好
605	it's gonna be very, very difficult to get rid of you.	很难摆脱你
606	And it also means that you're gonna be around more and more	也意味着你将会在越来越多的地方
607	and you're gonna be privy to increasingly levels	并且你将会越来越深入
608	of intimacy in his lifestyle.	他的生活方式很亲密
609	And that's basically how you achieve de facto commitment	这就是你如何实现事实上的承诺
610	and exclusivity from a man.	和排他性从一个人。
611	And you're integrating yourself into his life	而你正在把自己融入他的生活
612	and you're also the best sexual partner	你也是最好的性伴侣
613	he's probably ever had.	他可能曾经有过。
614	That man is never gonna fucking leave you.	那个人永远不会离开你
615	If you fuck his brains out,	如果你他妈的他的脑袋了,
616	don't cause problems and help him,	别惹麻烦帮他
617	and men are not difficult.	男人并不难
618	Like you can get any man that you want	就像你可以得到任何你想要的男人一样
619	and keep him if you do those things.	并留住他如果你做那些事情。
620	He could be a millionaire, he could be a billionaire,	他可能是一个百万富翁, 他可能是一个亿万富翁,
621	he could be an athlete, he could be a celebrity,	他可以当运动员,也可以当名人
622	he could be a neurosurgeon, he could be a rock star,	他可能是神经外科医生也可能是摇滚明星
623	whatever floats your boat, that's what you do.	无论你漂浮在船上,这就是你的工作。
624	But there's still one thing a woman can do to screw it up.	但女人还是能搞砸的
625	Yes, so women got in touch with me and they said,	是的,所以女人接触我他们说,
626	Oh, Ryan, I tried all those things	瑞安,我试过这些
627	and it still didn't work.	但还是没成功
628	And I believed them.	而我相信他们。
629	Some women do do those things.	有些女人做这种事
630	I mean, there are certainly some women out there,	我的意思是,肯定有一些女人在那里,
631	I mentioned some of them,	我提到了其中的一些
632	who know exactly what sexual buttons	谁知道什么是性按钮
633	to push in a man to turn him into jelly.	逼人把他变成果冻
634	And they are great with let's say the love bombing	他们很擅长说爱情爆炸
635	and they show up and they over deliver	他们出现,他们完成
636	with what they're willing to do	他们愿意做的事
637	in the context of that relationship.	在这种关系的范围内。
638	Maybe they don't do it quite long enough	也许他们做的不够久
639	to really be fully integrated into his lifestyle,	完全融入他的生活方式,
640	but they do those things.	但他们这样做。
641	A lot of women, unfortunately, can snatch defeat	很不幸,很多女人都会被打败
642	from the jaws of success by doing one thing.	从成功的下巴通过做一件事。
643	And that one thing is disrespecting men.	还有一件事就是不尊重男人
644	This is what I call the unbreakable rule	这就是我所说的不可突破的规则
645	a woman can never, ever, ever allow herself	女人永远不能允许自己
646	to disrespect the man that she wants to be	不尊重她想要成为的男人
647	in a long-term committed relationship with.	在长期承诺的关系。
648	And there's a number of reasons for that.	然此亦有数种因缘.
649	But one of the least appreciated ones is that	但最不值得赞赏的是
650	if a woman allows herself to disrespect this man	如果一个女人允许自己不尊重这个男人
651	and he allows that as well,	他允许这样,
652	then over time, the dynamic of that relationship	然后随着时间推移, 这种关系的动态
653	will shift to the point where that woman	将转向那个女人
654	is functionally with a shell of a man	在功能上与一个男人的外壳
655	that is no longer a person that she can respect	她已经不是她能尊重的人了
656	or be attracted to.	或者被吸引起来。
657	And that's generally when she looks for the door.	这一般是她找门的时候
658	So disrespecting a man usually provokes conflict,	所以不尊重一个人通常会引起冲突,
659	which rocks the boat,	使船摇晃,
660	which goes against the things	与物为敌
661	that I was talking about earlier.	我之前说的
662	And it decreases a woman's own attraction for a man,	这降低了女人对男人的吸引力
663	especially if he doesn't respond effectively.	特别是如果他没有有效反应的话
664	And what do they say in the Bible?	圣经里怎么说?
665	It's like a wise woman builds her house with her hands	这就像一个聪明的女人用手建房子
666	and tears it down, my ellipses, with her mouth.	并撕下来,我的椭圆, 用她的嘴。
667	It's like a lot of women will open their mouth	好像很多女人会张开嘴
668	and talk their way out of the relationship	和谈他们的出路关系
669	that they could have had with the men	他们本可以和男人们在一起的
670	who actually wanted to have it with them.	他们其实想带着它
671	And they do this because in the moment,	他们这样做是因为在此刻
672	they might be frustrated or impatient.	他们可能感到沮丧或不耐烦。
673	So it's emotional regulation and self-soothing.	所以这是情绪调节和自慰.
674	Women also disrespect men in less obvious ways.	妇女也以不太明显的方式不尊重男子。
675	I mean, obvious ways are verbal abuse,	我的意思是,明显的方式是辱骂,
676	criticism, physical abuse, mocking,	批评、身体虐待、嘲笑、
677	especially in front of other people.	尤其是在别人面前
678	But a woman can also disrespect a man	但女人也可以不尊重男人
679	by demanding explanations, by interrogating him.	要求解释审讯他
680	These are forms of disrespect	这些都是不尊重的形式
681	because they play inappropriately with power differentials.	因为他们玩的不恰当的权力差。
682	The right to demand an explanation,	要求解释的权利,
683	the right to ask questions	提问权
684	always goes from the high to the low.	总是从高到低
685	It never goes the other way around.	永不退转.
686	Just think about the military.	想想军队
687	If I were your commanding officer and I called you in	如果我是你的指挥官,我叫你进来
688	and I told you about a mission,	我告诉过你一个任务,
689	you wouldn't have the right to ask me a bunch of questions	你没有权利问我一堆问题
690	before you decided whether you were gonna accept the mission.	在你决定是否接受任务之前
691	That would be insubordination and it wouldn't be tolerated.	那样就是不服从命令绝对不能容忍
692	So there's a way to get the kind of information	所以有办法获得信息
693	that you want from a man without interrogating,	你想从一个男人而不审问,
694	without shaming, without demanding.	没有羞辱,没有要求。
695	You do not have to always agree with a man.	你不必总是同意一个男人。
696	That would be impossible	这是不可能的
697	because men, we men do all kinds of boneheaded things,	因为男人,我们男人做各种各样的骨头的事情,
698	all the fucking time.	他妈的所有的时间。
699	So women do not have to approve of a guy,	所以女人不必喜欢男人
700	but they absolutely have to find ways to disapprove,	但他们必须找到不赞成的办法,
701	disagree without disrespecting.	不同意,没有不尊重。
702	And that's absolutely something that can be possible.	这绝对是有可能的。
703	The general rule of thumb is if you wouldn't say that	一般的拇指规则是如果你不说
704	in that way to your boss,	这样对你老板
705	if you were interested in keeping your job,	如果你有兴趣保住你的工作
706	you shouldn't say that to a man.	你不应该对一个人说。
707	So that was some great advice for the women.	所以,这是一些伟大的建议给女性。
708	What do men need to provide	男人需要提供什么
709	in order to find the woman they want?	为了找到他们想要的女人?
710	It seems the ability to provide a better lifestyle	似乎有能力提供更好的生活方式
711	is the number one thing a woman is looking for, right?	女人想要的就是头号目标对吧?
712	Oh, generally, yes.	哦,总的来说,是的。
713	So women treat men the way men treat jobs.	所以女人对待男人的方式男人对待工作的方式。
714	And this will help men not take the dating process	这会帮助男人不采取约会过程
715	as personally as they might otherwise.	和他们个人一样,否则。
716	Think of it this way.	这么想
717	You might, as a man,	你可以,作为一个男人,
718	have no problems at your current employment.	您目前的工作没有问题。
719	You might feel that you're perfectly happy there.	你可能觉得自己很快乐
720	But if one day a recruiter called up and said,	但是如果有一天一个招募者打电话说
721	hey, Orion, I got an offer for you.	嘿,猎户座,我有一个提议给你。
722	Would you be interested in coming over to this company?	你有兴趣来这家公司吗?
723	We'll triple your salary.	我们会给你三倍的工资
724	We'll give you unlimited paid time off.	我们会给你无限的带薪假
725	We'll give you a promotion.	我们会给你升职的
726	And we'll make sure that you never have to work	我们会确保你不用工作
727	on any of the projects you don't wanna work on ever again.	任何你不想再工作的项目
728	I'll take it.	我来
729	You're at least gonna consider that offer strongly.	你至少会认真考虑这个提议
730	And the vast majority of people are gonna say,	大多数人会说,
731	you know what, there's no problem here,	你知道,这里没有问题,
732	but I have to do this for my career.	但为了事业我必须这么做
733	And that's what a lot of guys hear,	很多人都这么说
734	especially when they're young,	尤其是他们年轻的时候
735	when the women break things off,	当妇女们解除一切的时候,
736	because in the vast majority of cases,	因为绝大多数情况下
737	that's what women do.	女人就是这样
738	They say something like, you know, you were great.	他们说你很棒
739	I don't have any complaints about this.	我对此没有任何不满.
740	I just have to do this for me.	我只能为我这么做了
741	This is something that I need to do for myself right now.	我现在需要为自己做点什么
742	It's the same thing.	亦复如是.
743	And everybody will understand at that company	大家都会明白的
744	that this was the right move for your career.	这是你职业生涯的正确举动
745	No one is going to say, oh, after all,	毕竟没有人会说
746	all we've done for you, it's a fucking job.	我们为你所做的一切,这是他妈的工作。
747	It's business.	是业.
748	And if that person were in the same position,	如果那个人是同一个人
749	he or she would also have accepted the offer as well.	他(或她)也会接受这一提议。
750	So we don't need to get on our high horse	所以我们不用骑高马
751	and pretend to a righteousness	你应当为正义而伪装,
752	that we probably don't possess.	我们可能没有
753	So the best way to attract a woman	所以吸引女人的最好办法
754	is to be a woman's best offer,	是一个女人最好的报价,
755	to be a woman's best option, okay?	成为女人最好的选择,好吗?
756	And this is no small feat,	这可不是什么小事
757	because when you're 18 and you're a man,	因为当你18岁,你是一个男人,
758	you have fuck all.	你他妈都干了
759	Like, it's extremely difficult to be a young man	喜欢,这是极其困难作为一个年轻人
760	in today's society,	在今天的社会中,
761	and it is not appreciated at all in popular culture.	而在大众文化中却完全不受重视。
762	It's very, very difficult,	这是非常,非常困难的,
763	because at 18 women don't want you,	因为18岁的女人不想要你
764	because you have nothing that women want.	因为你没有女人想要的东西
765	You don't have any wealth.	你没有任何财富。
766	You don't have any status.	你没有任何地位。
767	You don't have any emotional maturity.	你没有感情成熟
768	You're not ready to settle down and have kids.	你还没准备好安顿下来生孩子
769	You're useless.	你没用
770	You're just a big throbbing hard-on,	你只是一团糟
771	and you can't even use that to transact	你甚至不能用它来进行交易
772	for anything of interest for the woman.	任何与女人有关的事情
773	And you're kind of useless to men,	你对男人也没用
774	because you have no skills.	因为你没有技能
775	You have no experience.	你没有经验
776	You have no mastery.	你没有本事
777	You're a liability on the fucking team.	你是球队中的责任者
778	Like, I can help you.	我可以帮你
779	You can't help me.	你帮不了我
780	God forbid I have to fall,	上帝不让我跌倒,
781	because are you gonna catch me?	因为你会抓住我吗?
782	Absolutely not.	绝对不是。
783	So it's like, young men are double fucked.	所以,这就像,年轻人是双重性交。
784	They're at the lowest of the low	他们是最低的
785	of all of their status hierarchies	他们的地位等级
786	that they have to compete in.	他们必须竞争。
787	And they can be that way for 10 years,	他们可以这样10年,
788	because it can take about that long	因为它可以花那么长时间
789	to develop an emotionally compelling lifestyle	发展一种情感上吸引人的生活方式
790	that might be the best option for a woman	这可能是女人的最好选择
791	that that man is authentically attracted to, okay?	那个人真的被吸引了,好吗?
792	So what do men have to do?	那么,男人必须做什么?
793	They have to do a lot.	他们必须做很多。
794	And the first thing they have to do	他们必须做的第一件事
795	is they have to learn how to wait.	他们必须学会等待
796	So this has to do with,	所以,这与,
797	let's call it the normalized sexual marketplace values	我们称之为正常的性市场价值
798	of men and women, according to the research.	研究显示,男女的性别状况。
799	So women's normalized sexual marketplace value	所以,妇女正常的性市场价值
800	peaks at 18 years old	18岁高峰期
801	and drops precipitously from that day forward.	从那日起,他们就坠落,
802	It never rises again.	永无复起.
803	Men's normalized sexual marketplace value	男子的性市场价值正常化
804	is lowest at 18, gradually rises up until about 40,	最低是18岁,逐渐上升到40岁左右
805	remains constant for about another 20 years,	再维持20年左右,
806	and then slowly declines into old age.	然后慢慢地衰老起来
807	It isn't until 30 years old	才30岁
808	that the average male sexual marketplace value	男性性市场平均价值
809	exceeds the average woman's sexual marketplace value	超过女性平均性市场价值
810	for the very first time.	这是第一次
811	This means that women's default action is to act.	这意味着妇女的违约行为就是采取行动。
812	Like all things being equal,	就像一切平等一样,
813	they will never be in a moment	他们永远不会在某一刻
814	where they can demand the relationship they want	他们可以要求他们想要的关系
815	from the man they want to have it with than today,	从男人他们想拥有它比今天,
816	because for the vast majority of women,	因为对于绝大多数妇女来说,
817	this is when they're going to have their highest valuation	这是他们最高价值的时候
818	in the sexual marketplace.	在性市场。
819	So their default is to act.	所以他们的默认是采取行动。
820	On the other hand,	另一方面,
821	most men will never be more disadvantaged	大部分男人都处于最不利的地位
822	in the sexual marketplace than they are today.	在性市场比今天。
823	With each passing year, they accumulate more experience,	年复一年,他们积累更多的经验,
824	more wealth, more status, more prestige,	财富、地位、威望
825	and these are the things that are instrumentally connected	这些东西是用工具连接的
826	to women's attraction to men.	女人对男人的吸引力。
827	So the first thing that men need to learn how to do	所以,第一件事男人需要学习如何做
828	is to wait, because it could be a while.	等待,因为可能要等一会儿。
829	It could be a while before they can start to enjoy	可能还有一段时间他们才开始享受
830	an advantage in the sexual marketplace.	性交易市场中的优势
831	And most guys don't get there	而大多数男人都到不了那里
832	in the sense that they commit and foreclose	他们犯下和取消赎回权
833	before they experience that possibility.	在他们体验到这种可能性之前
834	It's not a coincidence that the average age	平均年龄不是巧合
835	at first marriage in this country is 29.	我国初婚时29岁。
836	Remember I just said that 30 is the day when,	记得我刚说过30岁是...
837	or the year when the sexual marketplace polarity switches	性市场极性切换的年份
838	for the very first time, it never ever returns.	这是第一次,它永远不会回来。
839	So most marriages happen at the last moment	所以大多数婚姻发生在最后一刻
840	that a woman enjoys a power differential	妇女享有权力差别
841	over the man in the sexual marketplace.	在性市场的男人。
842	This is the smartest fucking thing	这是最聪明的
843	that she could possibly do,	她可以做到这一点,
844	because if she were to wait another year or two,	因为如果她再等一两年
845	she might not have been able to get that same commitment,	她可能没有得到同样的承诺,
846	even from that same man,	即使从同一个男人,
847	because she will have declined a little bit	因为她会拒绝
848	and he will have gone, and he'd be like,	他就会离开,他会说,
849	oh, well, wait a minute,	哦,好吧,等待一分钟,
850	I'm starting to get some options here.	我开始得到一些选择。
851	I kind of feel attractive.	我觉得很吸引人
852	Women are kind of showing themselves	女人都露出来了
853	that they're interested in me,	他们对我感兴趣,
854	maybe for the very first time, you know what I'm saying?	也许第一次,你知道我在说什么?
855	But most men never get to a place	但大多数男人都找不到地方
856	where they are more attractive	他们更吸引人的地方
857	than most of the women that they're dealing with.	比她们对付的大多数女人都多
858	And so they think that it's almost like	所以他们觉得这就像
859	just a woman's right or an innate privilege	只是女人的权利或天生的特权
860	to have that kind of attraction.	拥有那种吸引力。
861	It's not.	这不是。
862	It's just the consequence of being in a favorable moment	这只是在有利的时刻的后果
863	in the sexual marketplace.	在性市场。
864	Men don't always get there.	男人不是总能到那里
865	They have to play their cards right,	他们得打好牌
866	but they might get there eventually later in life,	但他们可能会在晚年到达那里,
867	like a division one athlete	像个分区的运动员
868	or a professional athlete a little bit later in life,	或职业运动员稍晚一点,
869	a partner at a prestigious law firm,	在一个著名的律师事务所的合伙人,
870	a politician.	一个政治家。
871	These guys, they understand	这些家伙,他们明白
872	that because they've played their cards right,	因为他们打的牌没错
873	they have incredible optionality with women these days.	这些天她们和女人有着不可思议的选择性
874	Okay, so men need to learn how to wait.	好吧,所以男人需要学会如何等待。
875	So what do they have to, but they can't just sit there.	他们必须做什么但他们不能坐在那里
876	So that men have to do three things really	所以男人必须做三件事
877	to become attractive to women.	以吸引妇女。
878	And these are things that I am extrapolating	这些都是我推断的东西
879	in the context of my metaphor for the sexual marketplace,	以我对性市场的比喻
880	which is a big dock, like a pier	这是一个大码头, 像码头
881	where all the ships moor, right?	哪里是所有的船的沼泽,对不对?
882	Is that women are looking for a captain.	女人在寻找船长
883	And there are three things	还有三件事
884	that men have to do to become a captain.	男人必须做一个队长。
885	They have to build a boat,	他们得造一条船
886	they have to learn to sail,	他们必须学会航行,
887	and they have to plot a course.	他们必须设计一条路线。
888	Build a boat, learn to sail, plot a course.	造船,习航,谋航.
889	And those three things can take 10 years at least to do.	这三件事至少需要十年的时间。
890	And if it's gonna take 10 years,	如果需要十年时间的话
891	you might as well get started, right?	你还是开始吧?
892	So build a boat is a metaphor for your lifestyle.	所以造船是你们生活方式的比喻
893	It's going to take two things to build a boat,	造船需要两样东西
894	resources, because wood ain't free,	资源,因为木材不是免费的,
895	and it's going to take knowledge.	和它要去取知识。
896	The knowledge is a part	知识是一部分
897	that doesn't get a lot of air time in today's society.	这在今天的社会中没有太多的广播时间。
898	Everyone's thinking about the money.	每个人都在想钱
899	Money is extremely important.	金钱是极其重要的。
900	But if you don't have knowledge about how money works,	但如果你不知道钱的用途
901	you're not gonna be able to keep the money	你将无法保存钱
902	if your fool ass actually lucks out and is able to get it.	如果你的蠢驴真的走运并可以得到它。
903	If you don't understand what women are and how they operate,	如果你不明白什么是女人以及她们是如何运作的
904	you're not gonna be able to keep one	你将无法保留一个
905	if you actually have the good fortune	如果你真的有好运气
906	to attract one into your life.	吸引一个进入你的生活。
907	Do you understand?	你明白吗?
908	So the knowledge that we're looking for	所以我们要找的知识
909	is awareness for how reality actually works.	认识现实是如何运作的。
910	Not how we want it to work,	不是我们想要它如何工作,
911	not how we think it should work,	我们不认为它应该如何工作,
912	not how our society tells us it's supposed to look,	而不是我们的社会告诉我们它应该看起来,
913	but how it actually works.	但它是如何实际工作。
914	Because if we can understand the principles and the laws	因为如果我们能理解原则和法律
915	by which reality operates,	在现实中,
916	we can flow with those currents	我们可以随流而流
917	and we won't be vulnerable when we're out on the open sea.	当我们在公海上时我们不会变得脆弱
918	So we need resources and we need the knowledge	所以我们需要资源和知识
919	and experience to be able to maintain	和能够保持的经验
920	all those good things that we built indefinitely.	我们无休止地建造了这些好东西
921	Because what's the point in taking a castle	因为拿一个城堡有什么意义
922	if we can't keep it, right?	如果我们不能保留它,对不对?
923	Then we have to learn how to sail,	然后我们要学会如何航行,
924	which is the development of some kind of mastery	这是某种掌握的发展
925	or expertise.	或专业知识。
926	The fact of the matter is that women want successful guys.	事实是女人想要成功的男人
927	And successful men are not necessarily virtuous men.	成功的人不一定是善良的人
928	They're not necessarily good men.	他们不一定是好人
929	They're not necessarily the best men or nice guys.	他们不一定是最好的人或好人。
930	The fact of the matter is that successful men	事实是,成功的男人
931	are men that other people want things from.	是别人想要的人
932	That's it.	就这样
933	Successful men are successful to the extent	成功的男子在程度上是成功的
934	that lots of people want things from them.	很多人想从他们那里得到东西。
935	The more people want things from you,	人们越想得到你的东西,
936	the more successful you are as a man.	你作为一个男人越成功
937	If nobody wants anything from you,	如果没人要你帮忙
938	no one will give you the fucking time of day	没有人会给你一天他妈的时间
939	if you're a guy.	如果你是一个男人。
940	That's just how it is.	就是这样
941	Now, this is the flip side of the male,	这是雄性的反面
942	this is the male experience to the equivalent to the,	这是男性的经历相当于,
943	let's say the sexual objectification	说到性玩物
944	that women complain about in the experience.	女性在经历中抱怨。
945	Men just wanna fuck me.	男人只想和我做爱
946	It's like, yeah, kinda.	这就像,是的,有点。
947	And if they didn't, they wouldn't be talking to you.	如果他们没有, 他们不会跟你说话。
948	The equivalent of that is,	相当于,
949	well, these women just want things from me.	这些女人只是想要我的东西
950	It's like, yeah, but if they didn't,	这就像,是的,但如果他们没有,
951	they wouldn't be talking to you, dude.	他们不会跟你说话,伙计。
952	So it's like, pick your poison.	所以它就像,选你的毒药。
953	We both have our struggles to deal with.	我们俩都要努力应付
954	But ultimately, we have to be useful to others.	但归根结底,我们必须对他人有用。
955	And a successful man has developed a solution	一个成功的人找到了解决办法
956	for a problem that many people have.	对于一个问题很多人有。
957	And those people will line up with dollars in their hand	那些人会用手中的美元排队
958	to hand it over to that guy for that solution, okay?	把它交给那个家伙来解决,好吗?
959	So this could be anything	所以,这可能是任何
960	from being a successful community plumber	从一个成功的社区水管工
961	to being a startup entrepreneur	作为创业者
962	with the next app that's going to solve a social crisis.	与下一个应用将解决社会危机。
963	It could be anything,	它可以是任何东西,
964	but you need to be able to solve many people's problems.	但你需要能够解决很多人的问题
965	And many people will need to want things	很多人需要的东西
966	from you in order to be successful.	从你们那里得来的,以便你们成功。
967	That's learning how to sail.	即学航海.
968	And the third component is plotting a course.	第三个部分是规划一个课程。
969	This is really important,	这很重要
970	is every man needs to have	每一个男人都需要
971	an overarching mission to his life.	他一生中最重要的任务
972	This is important because when we're out in the open sea,	这很重要,因为我们在公海上的时候
973	it's where there are no features of land,	这是没有土地特征的地方,
974	it's very easy to get lost.	这很容易迷路。
975	And how did the navigators of old traverse the wastes?	旧的航海家们是如何穿越废物的?
976	By looking at the stars,	通过看星星,
977	because the stars relative to the earth	因为恒星相对于地球
978	move in very fixed patterns.	以非常固定的模式移动。
979	We also will be blown off course by currents and weather.	我们也会被海流和天气吹走
980	And if we don't have a star to sail by,	如果我们没有星星可以航行
981	it's going to be very difficult	这将是非常困难的
982	to get ourself back on course.	让自己回到航线上
983	And we can't get ourself back on course	我们无法回到航线
984	if of course we never had a course to begin with.	当然,如果我们从来没有一个课程开始。
985	So the overarching mission to a man's life	所以人类生命中最重要的任务
986	also prevents him from doing stupid things	也阻止他犯傻
987	with respect to women,	关于妇女,
988	like making women the center of his life.	就像让女人成为他生活的中心
989	The fastest way to lose a woman	失去女人的最快办法
990	is to make her the center of your life.	让她成为你生活的中心
991	Because women want a guy who's on his shit.	因为女人想要一个男人谁在他的狗屎。
992	They want a guy with ambition, with drive, with purpose.	他们想要一个有抱负,有驱动力,有目的的人.
993	They don't want to be that ambition driver purpose.	他们不想成为那种野心的驱动者
994	They want to be next to the guy with those things	他们想跟那些家伙在一起
995	and to enjoy the fruits	享受水果,
996	of all of that ambition, drive and purpose.	这些野心、动力和目的
997	But if the woman becomes the ambition, drive and purpose,	但如果女人成为野心、动力和目的
998	then functionally the whole operation begins to fall apart.	然后在功能上,整个操作开始崩溃。
999	This also helps a guy to resist the urge to appease	这也帮助一个人抗拒安抚的冲动
1000	in moments of crisis with a woman.	在危机时刻与一个女人。
1001	Because it can very much happen	因为它可以发生很多
1002	in the course of a relationship	在关系过程中
1003	where an unhappy woman might make	一个不快乐的女人可能会
1004	certain unreasonable demands of a man.	一个人的某些不合理要求。
1005	Either you work too much, you spend too much time at work.	要么你工作太忙要么你花太多时间工作
1006	Either you need to spend more time at home	要么你多待一会儿
1007	or I'm walking, for instance.	或者我走路,比如说。
1008	Well of course, him working so much is part of the reason	当然,他工作这么多是原因之一
1009	why she was attracted to him to begin with.	为什么她一开始被他吸引
1010	Him working so much is what got him the money	他工作太忙了,所以他才有钱
1011	and the houses and the reputation	房屋和名声,
1012	that made it likely that she chose him	所以她很可能会选择他
1013	over all her other options.	在她的其他选择。
1014	She doesn't say when she goes out to dinner or on vacations	她没说什么时候出去吃晚饭或度假
1015	or when she drives her car	或者当她开车的时候
1016	that it's too bad that the guy works so much.	可惜这家伙工作太忙了
1017	And if this man in that moment	如果这个人在那一刻
1018	were to cater to that woman's demand	是为了满足那个女人的要求
1019	and he were to lose both his professional reputation	和他要失去他的职业声誉
1020	and success and the relationship, he would deserve it.	成功和关系, 他应该得到它。
1021	That would be his foible.	那将是他的失败。
1022	And that's where men are mostly weak	这就是男人大多软弱的地方
1023	is a lot of guys find it very difficult	很多人都觉得很困难
1024	to stand up to a woman's negative emotionality,	面对女人的负面情绪,
1025	whether it's their anger and their upsetness	不管是他们的愤怒和不安
1026	or their tears or their guilt tripping or their shaming.	他们的眼泪、罪恶感、耻辱
1027	All men, it seems, have an emotional thumbscrew.	所有的男人,似乎, 有一个情感的拇指。
1028	There's like one emotion for whatever reason	无论出于什么原因,都有一种情感
1029	is particularly difficult for them to bear.	他们尤其难以承受。
1030	And if a woman sticks around you long enough,	如果一个女人在你身边待得够久的话
1031	she's gonna figure out what that emotion is.	她会想出那种情感是什么
1032	And if she twists the screw on that particular emotion	如果她在那种特殊情感上扭动螺丝
1033	and you bend and you appease	你弯腰,你安抚
1034	and you change as a consequence of attempting to avoid	并因试图逃避而改变
1035	that temporary pain and discomfort	暂时的疼痛和不适
1036	of coming into contact with that unpreferred emotion,	与那种不受欢迎的情绪接触,
1037	what you will do is create a monster in your relationship	你要做的就是在你的关系中制造一个怪物
1038	because you'd be training this woman unconsciously	因为你会无意识地训练这个女人
1039	to know that whenever she really needed	当她真正需要的时候
1040	to get what she wanted,	为了得到她想要的
1041	all she had to do was hurt you in this way.	她只好这样伤害你
1042	And she loses respect.	她会失去尊重
1043	She loses respect.	她会失去尊重
1044	And the guy feels even less appreciated as well	那家伙也更不高兴
1045	because she often doesn't even want the thing	因为她常常不想要这个东西
1046	that she's demanding in that moment.	在那一刻她要求。
1047	So it's just not a bad, it's a very bad idea,	所以这只是不坏, 这是一个非常糟糕的主意,
1048	let's put it that way.	这么说吧
1049	So that's what men have to do to attract a woman.	这就是男人必须做的吸引女人。
1050	They have to build a ship,	他们必须造船
1051	which is to develop an extrapolated, interesting,	即发展出一种推论的、有趣的、
1052	emotionally compelling lifestyle.	情感上逼人的生活方式。
1053	They have to learn to sail,	他们必须学会航行,
1054	which is they have to develop expertise and skills	他们必须发展专门知识和技能
1055	that are of use to other people.	这对别人有用。
1056	And they have to plot a course.	他们必须计划一个路线。
1057	They need to have an overarching mission to their life,	他们需要有一个首要的使命他们的生活,
1058	something that is more important to them	对他们更重要的事
1059	than I guess anything else, really.	比我想的任何东西,真的。
1060	It has to be more important than anything else.	更须重于一切.
1061	If it's not, then a woman will figure out	如果不是,那么女人会明白的
1062	what that other thing will be,	那东西会是什么?
1063	and that will be your downfall.	那就是你的下场
1064	That will be your downfall.	那是你的下场
1065	So you've told us what women can do	所以你告诉我们女人能做什么
1066	to get the man they want,	为了得到他们想要的人,
1067	and you've told us what men could do	你告诉我们男人可以做什么
1068	to get the women they want,	要得到她们想要的女人,
1069	but there's more to it, isn't there?	但还有更多,不是吗?
1070	Of course.	当然
1071	The game.	游戏
1072	Oh yeah, the game is infinite.	哦,是的,游戏是无限的。
1073	I can be a wealthy, handsome man with a great future	我可以成为一个富有,帅气的人有美好的未来
1074	sitting at a bar on Saturday night,	星期六晚上坐在酒吧里,
1075	and nothing's gonna happen for me, right?	我也不会有事的对吧?
1076	Correct.	没错
1077	Especially if you're a man.	尤其是你是个男人
1078	If you are a decently attractive woman	如果你是个有魅力的女人
1079	and you were to sit by yourself at a bar on a Saturday night,	星期六晚上你一个人坐在酒吧里
1080	whether you wanted it or not, you would soon have company.	不管你是否想要, 你很快就会有伴。
1081	But a man could be brilliant, he could be rich,	但一个人可以聪明,他可以富有,
1082	he could be a neurosurgeon,	他可能是神经外科医生,
1083	and he could drink by himself all night, okay?	他可以一个人喝一整夜,好吗?
1084	So men need game in the sense of they need to put on,	因此,男人需要游戏, 他们需要穿上,
1085	they need some strategy in order to attract	他们需要一些策略来吸引
1086	the opposite sex.	异性恋。
1087	That's very different from the strategies that women do.	这与女性的策略大不相同.
1088	I'm not gonna say that women don't have to do that.	我不会说女人不必这么做的
1089	They do all kinds of things to their appearance, right?	他们做各种各样的事情他们的外表,对不对?
1090	Because that's generally what's most important to men,	因为这对男人来说是最重要的
1091	especially on first blush,	特别是第一次脸红时
1092	with respect to their attraction to women.	在吸引妇女方面。
1093	So they do all kinds of things with respect to their figure	所以,他们做各种各样的事情他们的身材
1094	and their dress and their fashion and their makeup	他们的服装、时尚和化妆,
1095	and things like that.	和类似的东西。
1096	Men, for better or for worse,	男人,无论好坏,
1097	we don't really have to worry about that as much.	我们不必再担心了
1098	So there are a few different strategies	所以有几种不同的策略
1099	that consistently work to increase your attraction	不断提高你的吸引力
1100	as a man to women.	作为男人对女人。
1101	Let's see if I can remember them.	看看我能不能记得他们
1102	Cocky and playful is an old standby	俗气又好玩,是个老旧的备用
1103	from the pick-up community.	从采摘社区。
1104	Being like, this is a tough one.	喜欢,这是一个艰难的。
1105	It's not the best one, but being like funny,	这不是最好的一个, 但像搞笑,
1106	being the funny guy can work,	作为有趣的家伙可以工作,
1107	like there's, but it can also backfire,	就像有,但它也可以反射,
1108	because at some point you do have to kind of transition	因为在某一时刻,你必须某种过渡
1109	from being kind of like goofy and playful to being sexual.	从那种愚蠢的和玩耍到性。
1110	And sometimes that can feel like a bait and switch	有时候感觉就像诱饵和开关
1111	to a woman.	对一个女人。
1112	Patrice O'Neill曾经说过:
1113	I wish I didn't have to laugh my way into pussy,	我真希望我不用笑到阴道上
1114	but that was what he had to do, apparently.	但显然他必须这么做
1115	There is also like low activation game,	还有像低激活游戏,
1116	which is just sort of like confidence	就像信心一样
1117	and not giving a woman much energy.	也没有给一个女人很多精力。
1118	That works if you already have,	如果你已经成功了,那就成功了
1119	let's say some reputation buy-in.	让我们说一些名声买入。
1120	If you have a table in the VIP bottle section of a club,	如果你在俱乐部的VIP瓶区有一张桌子
1121	for instance, you already have some social validation	例如,你已经有一些社会验证
1122	that you have the money to spend on that.	你有钱花在这点上。
1123	So you don't necessarily have to work as hard	所以你不必这么努力
1124	to attract attention to yourself,	为了引起大家的注意
1125	because like you did that passively	因为像你做的被动
1126	with respect to your structure.	关于你的结构。
1127	And so you can actually kind of be a little bit more aloof	所以,你实际上可以有点落空
1128	and withdrawn, which makes you potentially seem	并撤回, 这让你可能看起来
1129	even more attractive in that moment, right?	更迷人的那一刻,对不对?
1130	But the essence of game is to stimulate	但游戏的本质是刺激
1131	an emotional reaction in a woman.	女人的情绪反应
1132	That is the easiest way to seduce a woman	这最容易勾引女人
1133	is to stimulate an emotional response in her.	是为了刺激她的情绪反应
1134	And it doesn't even really matter what the emotion is.	连情感是什么都无所谓
1135	It doesn't even have to be a positive emotion.	它甚至不必是一个积极的情感。
1136	I mean, that's why negging works on some level.	我的意思是,这就是为什么挖苦在某种程度上工作。
1137	Which is disrespecting.	这是不尊重。
1138	It's a teasing, playful disrespecting, yes.	是以戏弄,玩弄不敬,是也.
1139	It's sort of like treating a girl	这就像对待一个女孩
1140	like your bratty little sister.	就像你的小妹妹一样
1141	So it's not, it shouldn't be anyway,	所以它不是,它不应该反正,
1142	a real cold-hearted, harsh disrespect.	真正的冷酷无情严酷的不尊重
1143	It should be-	应该...
1144	Playful.	游戏
1145	The idea here is that I'm so confident in your presence	这里的想法是我对你的存在充满信心
1146	that I can kind of toy with your beauty	我可以用你的美丽来玩
1147	that I know will dazzle and stun and petrify other men.	我知道会晕倒晕倒迷惑别人
1148	I, it has no effect on me.	我,这对我没有任何影响。
1149	Confidence goes a long way.	信心远矣.
1150	Confidence is amazing.	自信是惊人的。
1151	So one of the things that a lot of guys don't understand,	所以,其中一件事很多男人不明白,
1152	so I've had many, a few different careers	所以我有很多,几个不同的职业
1153	in my life so far.	至今为止
1154	I used to be an actor.	我以前是演员
1155	And when I was an actor as a young man,	我年轻时当演员时
1156	it was easier for me to get laid	更方便我做爱
1157	than when I was a rich, successful doctor.	比起我是个有钱成功的医生
1158	It's changed a little bit now that I'm somewhat famous,	现在我有点出名了
1159	but until I started the YouTube channel and it blew up,	但直到我开始YouTube频道,它爆炸,
1160	it was much, much harder for me to get laid	我更难上床了
1161	as a successful entrepreneur, doctor,	作为一个成功的企业家,医生,
1162	than being a broke theater actor in New York City.	而不是在纽约市当个破烂的戏剧演员
1163	And this is baffling to guys,	这让人很困惑
1164	but the fact of the matter is,	但事实是,
1165	that you do not need money to get laid.	你不需要钱才能上床
1166	You might need money if you want to get married,	如果你想结婚可能需要钱
1167	but you definitely don't need money to get laid.	但你绝对不需要钱去做爱
1168	And a lot of guys,	还有很多人
1169	and it's a kind of a function	这是一种功能
1170	of their male rational mindset.	他们的男性理性心态。
1171	They listen to talks online or they buy programs	他们在网上听演讲或者买节目
1172	and they, what do women want?	他们,女人想要什么?
1173	And they say, okay, women want abs.	他们说,好吧,女人想要腹肌。
1174	Women want tall guys.	女人想要高个子
1175	Women want rich guys.	女人想要有钱人
1176	And they think, okay, well, some of those things I can do,	他们认为,好吧,嗯,一些事情我可以做,
1177	but it's like, okay, I'll get the abs, check.	但是它就像,好吧,我会得到的腹肌,检查。
1178	I'll get the money, check.	我会得到钱,检查。
1179	And so now all I have to do is go up in front of a woman	所以现在我要做的就是在女人面前
1180	and say in so many ways and just let her know,	并说这么多种方式并让她知道,
1181	hey, I am a rich guy with abs	嘿,我是一个有钱人有腹肌
1182	and they're supposed to just line up to fuck them.	他们应该排队干他们
1183	And let me tell you that that's not how it works.	让我告诉你事情不是这样的
1184	So I call those things attraction proxies.	所以我叫它们吸引代理人
1185	Guys really want women to become attracted to them.	男人真的希望女人能被她们吸引
1186	They hear that these things are what women in general want.	他们听说这些东西是一般女人想要的.
1187	And so they say, well, I'll just get those things	他们说,好吧,我去拿那些东西
1188	and then the attraction will be taken care of.	然后,吸引将会得到照顾。
1189	And that's not true.	然则不然.
1190	I do consultations all the time	我经常咨询
1191	with guys who have super yachts down in Miami,	在迈阿密有超级游艇的人
1192	who fly private jets and who cannot get fucking laid	谁驾驶私人飞机谁不能得到他妈的上床
1193	because they have no experience picking women up.	因为他们没有接女人的经验
1194	They don't know how to talk to beautiful women	他们不知道怎么跟美女说话
1195	in particular.	特别是:
1196	They don't have any problems	他们没有问题
1197	with the ones they're not attracted to generally,	与那些他们没有吸引到一般,
1198	but obviously that's not the ones that they want.	但显然他们不想这样
1199	The way to get laid is to learn how to seduce a woman.	上床的方法就是学会如何引诱女人
1200	That's it.	就这样
1201	Like you don't need abs.	就像你不需要腹肌一样
1202	You don't need money.	你不需要钱。
1203	What you need is seduction technique.	你需要的是诱惑技巧
1204	And the core of seduction is the ability	诱惑的核心是能力
1205	to stimulate an emotional response in somebody else	激发别人的情绪反应
1206	and to guide them through an emotional journey	指引他们度过一段感情之旅
1207	that ultimately culminates in a sexual experience	最终导致性经历
1208	that you've more or less curated for that person.	你或多或少都为那个男人做了治疗
1209	There's a saying that goes,	有句话说,
1210	a man wants a good girl who's only bad with him	一个男人想要一个好女孩他只和他在一起
1211	and a woman wants a bad boy who's only good to her.	一个女人想要一个只对她好的男人
1212	That's great, yeah.	赞曰.
1213	I heard that one about a year ago.	一年前我听说了
1214	It resonated with me, it's true.	它与我共鸣,这是真的。
1215	Why do women love assholes?	为什么女人喜欢混蛋?
1216	Well, there's a number of reasons for that	有几个原因
1217	and there are good reasons.	有很好的理由。
1218	First of all, an asshole is generally somebody	首先,混蛋一般是别人
1219	who doesn't care about another person's feelings.	他们不在乎别人的感受
1220	This isn't my term.	这不是我的任期。
1221	This is a term that a lot of guys use	很多人用这个词
1222	when they're losing out.	当他们输了。
1223	This isn't my term.	这不是我的任期。
1224	I hear it, we can use that term assholes, I got no problem with asshole, but let's break	我听见了,我们可以用那个术语混蛋,我对混蛋没有意见, 但是让我们打破
1225	that down.	下来。
1226	Like assholes do get laid a lot.	就像混蛋经常上床一样
1227	They certainly get laid over the nice guys, so what are assholes doing or how are they	他们肯定被那些好人操了, 所以,什么是混蛋在做什么或者他们是如何
1228	being with women that is allowing them to have and enjoy greater success than the nice	与女人在一起,使她们能够拥有和享受比美好更大的成功
1229	guys out there?	外面的人吗?
1230	Well, like I said, one of the first things about assholes is they don't care how other	正如我所说,关于混蛋的头一件事就是他们不在乎其他的
1231	people feel.	人的感觉。
1232	And what did I just say a few minutes ago is like the Achilles heel for most men is	几分钟前我刚说的就像大多数男人的脚跟一样
1233	the negative expressed emotion of women.	女性的负面情绪
1234	I'm upset with you.	心生烦恼.
1235	生 you怒.
1236	They start to cry.	他们开始哭。
1237	It's like on some level, a nice guy will be too empathetic, will say, oh, I'm uncomfortable	就像某种程度,一个好人会太冷漠,会说,哦,我不舒服
1238	with this woman's distress, I am going to change myself, I'm going to change the situation,	面对这个女人的苦恼,我要改变自己,我要改变局面,
1239	I'm going to change the relationship, I will change reality itself if I can to get this	我要改变关系,我会改变现实本身如果我能得到这个
1240	woman to stop crying or to get this woman to stop being angry with me without necessarily	女人不要哭或让这个女人不再生我的气不一定
1241	considering whether or not this woman has a fucking point, whether her tears are justified,	考虑一下这个女人到底有没有道理她的眼泪是否合理
1242	whether her anger is justified.	她的愤怒是否合理
1243	Like for better or for worse, men and women can get angry inappropriately.	不论好坏,男人和女人都会不适当地生气。
1244	Maybe she's doing it just to see how spineless you are.	也许她这样做只是为了看看你有多无畏
1245	It's possible.	这是可能的。
1246	I mean, we call those shit tests, right?	我的意思是,我们称之为狗屎测试,对不对?
1247	And a lot of what happens in testing is unconscious.	在测试中发生的很多事情都是无意识的.
1248	I think that there are some conscious, intentional tests that women will do towards men, but	我认为,有一些有意识的, 有意的测试, 女人会做的男性,
1249	I think personally and professionally the majority of testing occurs below the threshold	我认为在个人和专业上大部分测试都发生在门槛以下
1250	of awareness for women.	提高妇女的认识。
1251	So an asshole isn't vulnerable to those displays because on some level he doesn't give a shit.	所以,一个混蛋并不易受那些展示的伤害,因为从某种程度上来说,他根本不在乎.
1252	He says, sweetheart, if you want to be upset with me, that's fine.	他说,亲爱的, 如果你想惹我生气, 那没关系。
1253	That's your right.	这是你的权利。
1254	Why do I need you to be upset or to be not upset?	为什么我要你生气?
1255	You're a full grown adult.	你长大成人了
1256	Like if you want to be angry, if you want to be out of sorts, if you want to be despondent	譬如欲生忿怒,欲离众生,欲生怨恨.
1257	and sulky, hey, no skin off my back.	和闷闷不乐,嘿, 没有皮肤从我的背上。
1258	I don't have to feel those feelings.	我不必去感受那些感觉
1259	I felt them.	我感觉到了
1260	I know they're not pleasant.	我知道他们不愉快。
1261	That's why I prefer not to experience them.	这就是为什么我宁愿不体验他们。
1262	But for whatever reason you want to feel that way, knock yourself out, sweetheart.	但无论你出于什么原因想这样都别想了亲爱的
1263	I'm not going to stand in the way of you and your feelings.	我不会妨碍你和你的感情
1264	And let me tell you, to the extent that those feelings were instrumentally attempting to	让我来告诉你, 以至这些感觉工具性地试图
1265	change that man's behavior, if a man responds that way, that emotion will disappear very	改变他的行为如果一个人这样回应那情感就会消失
1266	quickly because it doesn't work.	因为它不起作用。
1267	Most people don't persist in strategies that don't work.	大多数人不坚持不起作用的战略.
1268	If someone persists in a strategy, it's because it at least partly works.	如果有人坚持一个策略,那是因为它至少部分有效.
1269	The word dysfunction is mostly the word function.	功能障碍一词主要是词函数.
1270	Dysfunction is mostly functional in that it gets what it wants.	功能性功能主要在于它得到它想要的东西.
1271	That's why it exists.	故其存在.
1272	So if you want to look at any dysfunctional behavior, you have to understand that at least	所以,如果你想看任何功能失调的行为, 你必须明白,至少
1273	for a very long time, at least partly, it has succeeded in getting that person what	在很长一段时间里,至少部分地,它成功地使那个人得到了什么
1274	he or she wants.	他或她想要的。他或她想要的。
1275	That's why it's persisted through time.	这就是为什么它持续了一段时间。
1276	That's it.	就这样
1277	And if you were to change the operant conditioning, like the rewards or punishments as a consequence	如果你要改变操作条件就像奖赏或惩罚一样
1278	that behavior consistently, there out, you would very quickly change that behavior.	行为一致,在那里, 你会很快改变行为。
1279	That's the only thing that works.	唯此三业.
1280	So that's one reason why women like assholes is because they don't bend in ways that nice	所以,这就是为什么女人喜欢混蛋是因为她们不弯曲的方式那么好
1281	guys do that ultimately lead to the disintegration of the relationship and the attraction that	男人这样做最终导致关系解体和吸引力
1282	she felt for the guy to enter into the relationship to begin with.	她觉得男人应该开始交往
1283	And this also extends to other people out there.	这也适用于外面的其他人。
1284	It's sort of like, why does the woman gravitate towards the biggest, scariest guy in the room	这有点像,为什么女人引力在房间里最大的,最可怕的家伙
1285	often?	经常吗?
1286	Because he's the safest one.	因为他是最安全的
1287	Now you might think, well, he sure doesn't look safe with all of those tattoos and the	现在也许你觉得,嗯, 他看起来并不安全所有这些纹身和
1288	leather jackets and the kind of like growly stare.	皮夹克和那种像成长的凝视。
1289	Well, he might not be safe to you, another guy, but he's safe to her because she's thinking	好吧,他可能对你不安全,另一个男人, 但他对她安全,因为她想
1290	if I'm with that guy, no other guy is going to fuck with him.	如果我和那个家伙在一起, 没有人会惹他。
1291	So I want to be with the guy that no other guy is going to fuck with.	所以我想和别人不会惹的人在一起
1292	And assholes, they fight back.	和混蛋,他们反击。
1293	They don't just say, oh, oh, sorry, maybe I did something wrong there.	他们不只是说,哦,哦,对不起, 也许我做了错事在那里。
1294	Let's, let's work to friends, you know, get along.	让我们去和朋友共事吧
1295	An asshole will be like, oh, fuck yourself, man.	一个混蛋会像, 哦,他妈的自己,男人。
1296	Why would you do that?	你为什么要这么做?
1297	And they, they don't have a problem being disagreeable and they don't have a problem	而他们,他们没有问题令人不快,他们没有问题
1298	fighting for what they believe in.	他们为信仰而战
1299	Now, some assholes are narcissistic and what they believe in is just their own misguided	现在,一些混蛋是自恋他们相信的只是他们自己的错误
1300	self-interest, but not all of them, right?	自我利益,但不是所有他们,对不对?
1301	So, but in any case, they are willing to fight for what they believe and what they want.	所以,但无论如何,他们都愿意为自己所相信的和想要的而斗争.
1302	And that's what makes them more safe to women than guys who aren't willing to fight.	所以她们对女人来说要比那些不愿意打架的男人安全
1303	Assholes also often know that people don't like them and they've developed a kind of	混蛋也经常知道人们不喜欢他们他们已经发展出一种
1304	social callous around that, which gives them a social freedom.	社会冷酷无情, 给他们社会自由。
1305	When you talk to most guys, the thing that paralyzes them socially, whether it's with	当你和大多数男人谈话时, 社会上让他们麻痹的东西, 无论它与
1306	other guys at parties to make new friends or with women picking them up, is they're	派对上其他男人要交新朋友或者和女人去接他们,是么?
1307	afraid that they're going to look awkward or they're going to say something and people	害怕他们看起来很尴尬或者会说些什么和人
1308	aren't going to like them.	他们不会喜欢的
1309	But when you're an asshole, people already don't like you.	但当你是个混蛋人们已经不喜欢你了
1310	I mean, what's the fucking threat here?	我的意思是,什么他妈的威胁在这里?
1311	You know what I'm saying?	你知道我在说什么吗?
1312	So, because I'm used to people not liking me, because there are people today right now	所以,因为我习惯人们不喜欢我, 因为今天有人现在
1313	who don't like me and I can deal with it, I have a social freedom that you don't.	谁不喜欢我,我可以处理它, 我有社会自由,你没有。
1314	I can speak my truth because I know what happens when people disapprove or disagree with me	我可以说实话因为我知道当人们不同意或不同意我时会发生什么
1315	and they hate me.	他们恨我。
1316	Not much.	没什么
1317	Like they get all bent out of sorts and life goes on.	就像他们被曲解了一样生活还在继续
1318	Assholes often get into trouble because they also understand that rules are, this is going	混蛋经常惹麻烦因为他们也明白规矩
1319	to sound shitty, but rules are really just suggestions to maintain social cohesion at	听起来很烂,但规则其实只是维持社会凝聚力的建议
1320	the mass level.	质量水平。
1321	But every rule has an exception.	但每个规则都有例外。
1322	Every rule was created by people and so every rule can actually be undone by people as well.	每一个规则都是由人创造的,所以每个规则实际上也可以被人推翻.
1323	An asshole knows that it's not a virtue to simply follow a rule because it's a rule.	一个混蛋知道,仅仅遵守一条规则并不是美德,因为它是一条规则.
1324	Like it has to make sense.	譬如须达理.
1325	It has to support, I guess, his goals, whether they're personal or the social goals.	它必须支持,我想,他的目标, 无论是个人目标还是社会目标。
1326	And he doesn't mind necessarily transgressing those rules from time to time and getting	他不介意不时违反那些规矩
1327	into trouble.	陷入麻烦中。
1328	Because trouble is not really a real concept in many respects.	因为麻烦在许多方面并不是真正的概念.
1329	Some of the darkest moments that some of the people I look up to have been in were really	一些最黑暗的时刻有些我期待的人曾经真的
1330	ways for them to launch their careers and their missions to an even higher, greater	让他们的事业和使命更崇高、更伟大
1331	level.	级别。
1332	Like when Dr. King was arrested and thrown into the Birmingham jail, do you really think	就像金博士被捕后被扔进伯明翰监狱时你真的认为
1333	that he was in trouble?	说他有麻烦了?
1334	He has a mugshot, he was arrested, there he was in jail in handcuffs.	他手上有一枪,他被捕了,他带着手铐在监狱里。
1335	That's about as bad as it gets in today's society.	这和今天的社会一样糟糕
1336	But it was an opportunity for him to write some letters and it was then a pivot point	但是他有机会写一些信然后成了关键
1337	to draw even more attention to a social cause which generated even more momentum.	* 促使人们更加注意产生更大势头的社会事业。
1338	Trouble—like a master can use anything to it's—a master can use anything to its	麻烦,就像主人可以使用任何东西, 主人可以使用任何东西

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