前女特工教你如何释放人的潜能、瞬间识破谎言！

前女特工教你如何释放人的潜能、瞬间识破谎言！

发布于 2026-10-20 · 时长 2:01:58

字幕摘录

时间	英文	中文
0:00	Being an interrogator and special agent with the US Secret Service.	在美国特勤局当审讯员和特工
0:03	I'm trained in the art of reading people's body language verbal cues	我接受过阅读人体语言语言的艺术训练
0:06	I mean even written statements so you can figure out who's full of BS and who isn't	我的意思是,甚至书面声明 这样你就可以找出 谁满是BS,谁不是
0:11	so one of the things I would see a lot of guilty people do is	所以我会看到很多有罪的人做的一件事
0:14	Evy pom porous former US Secret Service special agent who protected presidents worked undercover and trained in the art of lie detection	Evy Pom漏洞百出 前美国特勤局特工 保护总统
0:22	Human behavior and cognitive influence.	人类的行为和认知影响.
0:24	She's now on a mission to help us all benefit from the lessons.	她现在执行一个使命 帮助我们所有人从教训中获益。
0:27	She's learned along the way	她一路上学的
0:28	I want to go into all of the techniques the life lessons the wisdom	我想进入所有的技术 生活教训智慧
0:32	So what are the core components of how to get someone to do what you want?	如何让别人做你想做的事的核心部分是什么?

展开字幕全文（2771 条）

序号	英文	中文
1	Being an interrogator and special agent with the US Secret Service.	在美国特勤局当审讯员和特工
2	I'm trained in the art of reading people's body language verbal cues	我接受过阅读人体语言语言的艺术训练
3	I mean even written statements so you can figure out who's full of BS and who isn't	我的意思是,甚至书面声明 这样你就可以找出 谁满是BS,谁不是
4	so one of the things I would see a lot of guilty people do is	所以我会看到很多有罪的人做的一件事
5	Evy pom porous former US Secret Service special agent who protected presidents worked undercover and trained in the art of lie detection	Evy Pom漏洞百出 前美国特勤局特工 保护总统
6	Human behavior and cognitive influence.	人类的行为和认知影响.
7	She's now on a mission to help us all benefit from the lessons.	她现在执行一个使命 帮助我们所有人从教训中获益。
8	She's learned along the way	她一路上学的
9	I want to go into all of the techniques the life lessons the wisdom	我想进入所有的技术 生活教训智慧
10	So what are the core components of how to get someone to do what you want?	如何让别人做你想做的事的核心部分是什么?
11	Everybody's motivated by something different what you want to understand is that person's motivational mindset	每个人的动机 不同的东西,你想知道的是 人的动机心态
12	But the biggest mistake people make is it what about when your boss or your colleague isn't listening to you?	但人们最大的错误是 当你的老板或同事不听你的?
13	What should you do?	怎么办?
14	So it's called	所以这叫做
15	Paralinguistics everyone's so focused on what they say they don't think about the tone pitch of the voice	准语言 每个人如此专注 他们说什么 他们不考虑 声音的调子
16	But there are simple things you can do to make sure people hear you	但有些简单的事情你可以做 确保人们听到你
17	First you spent 12 years around people like Bill Clinton and Barack Obama.	首先你和比尔·克林顿和巴拉克·奥巴马等人相处了12年。
18	Did you learn anything about leadership?	你学过什么领导力吗?
19	They're not driven by emotion and the problem majority people have is they bring their feelings into it	他们不是被情绪驱使的 多数人的问题就是 他们把感情带进其中
20	You don't want to be an emotional decision-maker.	你不想做一个情绪决定者。
21	It never goes well pull back and be objective	永远往后拉,保持客观
22	When you think back of your Secret Service experience was there ever a day when you thought the president's life was at risk	当你回想起你的特勤局经历 曾经有一天你以为总统的生命有危险
23	You know, I don't think ever talked about it, but and then what was the scariest moment of your career?	你知道,我不认为曾经谈论过它, 但然后是什么 最可怕的时刻 你的职业生涯?
24	There's another undercover case	还有一个卧底的案子
25	All these things are escalating	这一切正在升级
26	Any second he's gonna kill my partner pull my gun out	他随时会杀了我的搭档 拔出我的枪
27	That stayed with me	留在我身边
28	恭喜你,Daria战胜CEO帮
29	We've made some progress	我们取得了一些进展
30	63% of you that listen to this podcast regularly don't subscribe which is down from 69%	你们有63%的人经常听播客的节目 不订阅,低于69%
31	Our goal is 50%	我们的目标是50%
32	So if you've ever liked any of the videos we've posted if you like this channel	如果你喜欢我们公布的视频 如果你喜欢这个频道
33	Can you do me a quick favor and hit the subscribe button?	你能帮我个忙 按下订阅按钮吗?
34	It helps this channel more than you know, and the bigger the channel gets as you've seen the bigger the guests get	它比你知道的更能帮助这个频道, 频道越大,因为你见过的客人越大
35	Thank you and enjoy this episode	谢谢你,请欣赏这集
36	If someone's just clicked on to this podcast to listen because they thought the title was interesting or the thumbnail was interesting	如果有人被点击到这个播客听 因为他们认为标题很有趣 或者缩略图很有趣
37	With the understanding that we're gonna talk about the work you're doing in this season of your life and who you're doing it for	我们来谈谈你这个赛季的工作 还有你为谁做的
38	Can you tell me exactly why they should stay and listen to this conversation?	你能告诉我他们为什么要留下来听这段谈话吗?
39	I think for each person it's different	我觉得每个人都不一样
40	But why should you listen at the core?	但你为什么要听核心?
41	We're always trying to become something better	我们总是想成为更好的
42	I wrote my book becoming bulletproof and I think the essence of that was I'm trying to become more than and	我写了我的书 变得防弹, 我认为其本质 是,我试图成为更多
43	How about this the day you think you know, everything is a day you become obsolete	你觉得你知道的那一天,怎么样? 一切都是你过时的一天
44	I live by that because I am never at my peak	我靠这个生活,因为我从来没有在我的峰值
45	I'm always becoming more so if you're looking to become more and you don't know what that is exactly	我总是变得更强 所以如果你想要变得更强 你不知道那到底是什么
46	Then listen all of this information we're gonna talk about today the techniques the things you've learned the life lessons the wisdom	那么,听所有这些信息 我们将谈论今天的技巧 你学到的东西 生活教训 智慧
47	Where does it come from?	从何处来.
48	What is your if I looked at your CV?	如果我看你的简历呢?
49	What would I say?	我该说什么?
50	I probably honestly it came from	我大概是真心的说
51	Probably comes from growing up in New York daughter of immigrants	可能是在纽约长大的移民女儿
52	I think that there's one aspect there	我觉得有一个方面
53	but I to think I truly think the majority is when I became a New York City police officer and	但我真的认为多数是当我成为纽约市的警察时
54	then I went to the US Secret Service and	然后我去了美国特勤局
55	Went in young I was like	年轻的时候,我就像
56	2223 and so while everyone's out at that age partying doing whatever I went into this	2223年,所以当每个人都在那个年龄的派对上 做我所做的事
57	this field and I was around a lot of a lot of other elite performers and thinkers and	这个领域,我身边 很多其他的精英 表演者和思想家,
58	I learned so much training help	我学到了这么多训练帮助
59	Humbles you though the job humbles you and then also working in the White House being around other top performers top thinkers	虽然这份工作令你谦逊,但你却不爽 然后在白宫里工作
60	That really kind of not kind of I mean that really	那种真的不是那种 我说真的
61	I grew up there.	我在那里长大。
62	I grew up in the White House.	我在白宫长大
63	I grew up in the US Secret Service	我在美国特勤局长大的
64	That's how I grew up	我就是这么长大的
65	So I think that those things help shape me and mold me not just training but also the people I was around	所以我觉得那些东西能塑造我 塑造我 不仅能培养我 还能塑造我身边的人
66	I learned a lot made many mistakes, but I had really good.	我学到了很多错误, 但我真的很好。
67	I don't want to say role models because I don't like that word	我不想说榜样 因为我不喜欢这个词
68	I don't look at anybody and say I want to be that no I want to be me	我不看任何人,说我想成为... ...我想成为我
69	but I can look at other people and learn and	但我可以看着其他人 学习
70	Get inspired from them and see what they do.	从他们那里得到灵感,看看他们做了什么。
71	So I had those examples that guided me	所以我有那些例子引导我
72	So I think that's the majority of where	所以,我认为这是大部分的地方
73	That comes from and then the practicing of it them flexing that muscle.	这来自,然后练习它们 使肌肉灵活。
74	It's like a workout.	如是修习.
75	You have to keep	你必须保持
76	Doing that and being honest with yourself US Secret Service.	这样做,并诚实地对自己 美国特勤局。
77	Nobody wants to hear excuses.	没人想听借口
78	Nobody cares how you feel	没人在乎你的感受
79	I don't mean it in a mean way, but they're like we have a job to do.	我不是故意的,但他们就像我们有工作要做。
80	What is the Secret Service?	什么是特勤局?
81	I really want to zoom in on your career experience to understand	我真的想放大你的职业经验来理解
82	how the wisdom you have was derived from different sort of seasons of your	你的智慧是如何从不同的季节衍生出来的
83	Experience so a lot of us have heard this term Secret Service agent	我们很多人都听过这个术语
84	But in but in reality if I look at the span of your career, what did that involve?	但实际上,如果我看看 你的职业生涯, 这涉及到什么?
85	specifically	具体
86	Okay, so Secret Service the United States Secret Service was actually the one of the oldest federal law enforcement agencies in the US	好吧,所以特勤局 美国特勤局实际上是美国最古老的联邦执法机构之一
87	So they do two things	所以他们做两件事
88	The one thing that they do is they protect the president everybody sees it right everyone's at that Secret Service	他们做的一件事是保护总统 每个人都看对了 特勤局的人
89	That's all they do.	这就是他们所做的。
90	No, in fact even that unit of of people that you see around the president	不,事实上,即使是你看到的 总统身边的那组人
91	It's very hard even to get in there	进去也很难
92	You don't you don't automatically go and even if you want to go doesn't mean you're gonna get it.	你不自动走 即使你想走也不表示你会得到它
93	So you do protection	所以你做保护
94	President former presidents vice president first ladies even foreign heads of state	前总统 副总统 一等夫人 甚至外国元首
95	So when the Prime Minister of the UK comes to the US he gets protection	所以当英国首相来到美国时 他能得到保护
96	Because we don't want him getting assassinated in the US so all these foreign heads of state	因为我们不希望他在美国被暗杀 所以所有的外国国家元首
97	So you're you're protecting tons of people and it doesn't matter who it is	所以你是在保护无数的人 而不管是谁
98	You're the job is I die for you	你的工作就是我为你而死
99	Period.	期间。
100	So that's one aspect of it	所以这就是其中一个方面
101	So there's a very selfless aspect of that which goes against all your intuition, right?	因此,有一个非常无私的方面 与你的直觉,对不对?
102	Because even in law enforcement as a cop or police officer, they teach you	因为即使是在警察或警察的执法部门 他们也会教你
103	Hey if you're getting shot at you make yourself small take cover then engage US Secret Service is that all goes out the window	嘿,如果你中枪了,你让自己 少找掩护,然后联系美国特勤局 是,所有出去窗口
104	It's no you're getting shot at you jump in front and then make yourself big even bigger	不是,你被枪毙了 跳到前面,然后变大
105	To make sure the bullet hits you and not the person behind you	为了确保子弹击中你 而不是你背后的人
106	So you have to really rewire like something that's instinctual.	所以你必须像本能一样重新连接。
107	That's protection.	这是保护。
108	The other aspect of it is investigations	另一个方面是调查
109	They work investigations	他们负责调查
110	fraud a lot of fraud a lot of	骗了很多人
111	Complex crimes and today fraud is global.	复杂的犯罪以及今天的欺诈是全球性的。
112	So you'll be investigating somebody in Russia	所以你要调查俄罗斯的某个人
113	I remember there was one guy in Russia who was committing fraud here in the US	我记得俄罗斯有个家伙 在美国犯下诈骗罪
114	He was going into bank bank accounts of these	他正要进入这些银行帐户
115	very wealthy people	非常有钱的人
116	So the US Secret Service and home homeland and CBP customs border patrol everybody got together because like we have to get this guy	所以,美国特勤局和家乡 和CBP海关的边境巡逻 每个人聚集在一起 因为像我们必须得到这家伙
117	So they figure out okay, he's in Russia.	所以他们知道,他在俄罗斯。
118	So the US goes to Russia says hey Russia	所以,美国去俄罗斯说嘿俄罗斯
119	Can you help us get this guy?	你能帮我们找到这家伙吗?
120	Can you know, can you send him over?	你能让他过去吗?
121	And so Russia of course is like no	所以,俄罗斯当然像没有
122	We're not gonna do it	我们不会这么做的
123	To be fair.	以是义故.
124	We wouldn't do it for Russia either.	我们也不会为俄罗斯这么做
125	So it goes both ways.	故双行.
126	So then everyone had to get creative	所以每个人都得有创意
127	How do we get this guy?	我们怎么找到这家伙?
128	So it's like alright	所以,这就像没事
129	We're gonna put a plan together to lure him into another country a neutral country.	我们要制定计划 引诱他进入中立国家
130	So this plan goes into place	计划就绪了
131	It's not my case and it's probably Friday night.	这不是我的案子 可能是星期五晚上
132	I hear my boss calling from across the way.	我听到我老板从对面打来的电话
133	He's like, hey pompurus	他就像,嘿庞普鲁斯
134	Yes, sir.	是 长官
135	He's like, what are you doing tomorrow?	他喜欢,你明天做什么?
136	I looked at him.	我看着他
137	I'm like, why don't you tell me what I'm doing tomorrow?	我很喜欢,为什么不告诉我 我明天做什么?
138	He said can you go to the DR Dominican Republic?	他说你能去多米尼加共和国吗?
139	I said sure.	我说当然
140	What do you need?	你还需要什么?
141	He's like you need to do undercover	他就像你需要做卧底
142	Okay, what am I doing?	好吧,我在干吗?
143	He's like we've got this guy in Russia.	他就像我们在俄罗斯抓到了这个家伙
144	We're learning luring him over from Russia to the DR	我们正学着把他从俄罗斯带到德国
145	We want to get him and bring him to the US.	我们要把他带到美国
146	You're gonna go with your boyfriend.	你会跟你男朋友一起去的
147	Like who's my boyfriend?	喜欢谁是我的男朋友?
148	He's a detective from the NYPD.	他是纽约警局的警探
149	I think he was I can't remember what grade he was.	我觉得他是我记不清他是什么年级了
150	You're gonna be his	你会成为他的
151	Girlfriend you're gonna give him legitimacy you guys are gonna convince this Russian to come to the US	女朋友 你要给他合法性 你们要说服这个俄国人来美国
152	I'm like, where are we gonna do this?	и赣或暗
153	He's like at a resort.	他就像在度假村一样
154	I said resort	我说了度假
155	I'm like, what do I have to do?	我像,我该怎么做?
156	He's like just make him look legit	他就像只是让他看起来合法
157	I mean hang out by the pool all day and just drink pina coladas.	我的意思是整天在泳池边玩 喝着皮娜可乐
158	He said yes as long as they're virgin	他答应了,只要他们是处女
159	I said no problem.	我说没问题
160	And so that's what we did	所以这就是我们所做的
161	we spent I don't know how many days at this resort me and my boyfriend who was like 20 years older than me maybe 30 and	我们花了多少天 在这个度假村 我和我的男朋友 谁像20岁 比我,也许30和
162	With the Russian talking to him and what we tried to motivate him by his greed come to America	俄国人和他说话 我们用他的贪婪来激励他
163	we'll sneak you in and you'll make a ton of money and	我们把你偷偷带进来 你就能赚一吨钱
164	Because we knew what his motivator was more money.	因为我们知道他的动机是钱
165	So he's thinking about it.	故发心.
166	He's thinking about it	他在考虑
167	We're having a little bit of hard time with him	我们和他有点难相处
168	Then finally, it's the day before we're supposed to leave on our private jet, which is customs border patrol	最后,这是前一天 我们应该离开 我们的私人飞机, 这是海关边境巡逻
169	And I'm talking to my boyfriend's detective.	我在跟我男朋友的侦探说话
170	I'm like you think he'll show he's like, I don't know.	就像你认为他会显示他喜欢,我不知道。
171	So we're waiting that morning	所以我们在等那天早上
172	It's like five minutes to nine.	5分钟到9分钟
173	We're about to leave the resort and	我们即将离开度假村
174	We're like, he's not gonna show three minutes before nine.	我们想,他不会显示 3分钟前九。
175	He rolls up.	他卷起来。
176	He's like I'm in so we board our plane	他就像我一样,所以我们登机
177	It's our private jet.	这是我们的私人飞机。
178	It's customs border patrol.	海关边检.
179	Everyone's undercover.	每个人都是卧底
180	We get on there's like alcohol.	我们在那里得到像酒精。
181	I don't drink.	不饮.
182	There's food	还有食物
183	He gets on the Russian we fly from the Dominican Republic to Miami.	我们从多米尼加共和国飞到迈阿密 他上了俄国飞机
184	We land in Miami do a refuel	我们降落在迈阿密做加油
185	It's all agents.	都是探员干的
186	They're watching but they're all, you know reading newspapers	他们正在看,但他们都看报纸
187	Everyone's undercover	每个人都是卧底
188	we	我们
189	Get back on the jet	回到飞机上
190	We fly to New York and then we land in Long Island in a very no remote area	我们飞到纽约 然后降落在长岛 一个非常遥远的地区
191	There's a limo there our limo my boyfriend's limo with I don't drink out again	那里有辆豪华轿车 我男朋友的豪华轿车 我不会再喝酒了
192	I it's like Jack Daniel's Jack Daniel's blue label, which is like the fancy	我就像杰克丹尼尔的蓝色标签, 这就像花样
193	I guess a liquor we get in we get into the limo and then we drive so now we got him in the US	и稱и秈ㄓ狹皊 и秈 limoó 礛и秨ó
194	we got him the goal was to bring him to Brooklyn to the Brooklyn Bridge and	我们把他带到布鲁克林大桥
195	The takedown was I take a photo of my boyfriend and the Russian by the Brooklyn Bridge wearing their Russian hats because he brought	我拍了一张我男朋友和俄罗斯人的照片 在布鲁克林桥边 他们戴着俄罗斯帽子 因为他带来了
196	Russian hats and that was my clear take a sound	俄國帽子,那是我的清晰声音
197	It's safe.	这是安全的。
198	And so I put the photo up the bridges in the back.	所以我把照片放在后面的桥上。
199	My boyfriend's like welcome to America	我男朋友就像欢迎来到美国
200	We're gonna commit all this fraud.	我们要实施所有这些欺诈。
201	We're gonna steal all this money.	我们要偷走所有的钱。
202	The Russians super happy click	俄罗斯人超级快乐的点击
203	Everybody comes in we're all in cuffs	大家都进来了 我们都戴着手铐
204	That's an example of a case	这是案件的例子
205	If I back up there you said that what he wanted was more money	如果我回到那里,你说他想要的是更多的钱
206	When you're trying to understand how to get someone to do what you want to do	当你试图理解如何让别人做你想做的事
207	What are the sort of core components of that?	核心内容是什么?
208	I spoke to him Andrew Bustamante who's the former CIA agent and he's he said he spent a lot of time undercover doing very	我跟他谈过了 安德鲁·布斯塔曼特 他是前中情局特工 他说他花了很多时间做卧底
209	similar work going to foreign countries getting people to	外国的类似工作
210	Like him to trust him and then to give him something and one of the things he said to me is you need to understand	就像他信任他,然后给他一些东西 和他对我说的一个事情是 你需要明白
211	Their ideology he says of all the things that make someone do something is understanding their ideology	他们的意识形态,他所说的一切 使别人有所作为的东西 是理解他们的意识形态
212	Which is kind of what you're describing there.	这就是你在描述的
213	I think there's ideology and the other thing he said this framework rice reward ideology coercion of ego	我认为有意识形态,还有一件事 他说这个框架米奖励 意识形态胁迫自负
214	And what you described I guess is the reward that that Russian guy wanted when you're thinking about how to get someone to do what you want	我猜你所描述的 就是那个俄国人想要的奖赏 当你想着如何让别人做你想做的事时
215	What's the what's the kind of framework?	什么样的框架?
216	Where'd you where'd you default to and I'm and here I'm thinking about business	你在哪里 你违约 我在这里 我想着生意
217	I'm thinking about sales and thinking about all forms of persuasion	我考虑的是销售和各种说服方式
218	Because that's essentially what you had to do	因为你必须这么做
219	You had to get this total stranger sounds like a stranger on to a private jet and to come with you to America	你必须让这个陌生人 听起来像一个陌生人 上私人飞机 并和你一起去美国
220	So I'm gonna shut up	所以我要闭嘴
221	Because I need to understand what you want.	因为我需要了解你想要什么
222	The biggest mistake people make is they talk a lot	人们最大的错误是他们经常说话
223	Steven if I'm doing all the talking and you're doing all the listening, right?	史蒂文,如果我在说话 而你在听,对不对?
224	You're learning everything about me	你在学习我的一切
225	You're learning about what I care about my values my belief systems	你在学习我所关心的 我的信仰体系
226	You're getting a good read on me and I'm learning nothing about you	你读了我很好,我对你一无所知
227	There's a myth that people think if I do most of the talking I have control it's garbage you have the power	有一种神话,人们认为 如果我做大部分的谈话,我有控制 它的垃圾,你有力量
228	Because you've got me now.	因为你现在有我了
229	So what I will tell you is and I know of Andy	所以我要告诉你的是 我知道安迪
230	What you want to understand is that person's motivational mindset?	你想知道的是那个人的动机心态?
231	What are you motivated by so that is your value and belief system?	你有什么动机,这就是你的价值观和信仰体系?
232	Everybody's motivated by something different but I have to hear you and pay attention to you to understand what that is	每个人都受到不同事物的驱使 但我必须听到你 并注意你 了解那是什么
233	Everybody's purpose is this different the example I gave you with the Russian he's motivated by money	每个人的目的都不同 我用俄罗斯人给你的榜样 他是为了钱
234	How did you figure that out?	你怎么发现的?
235	Was that a question or was it just one his action showed it because he wants money and then in talking to him	那是个问题,还是只是他的一个行动 表现出来是因为他想要钱 然后和他谈话
236	He had a I believe he had a wife home.	他有一个我相信 他有一个妻子回家。
237	He had a kid home.	他有一个孩子在家。
238	He grew up a certain way	他长大了
239	So you just listen here have a drink talk to me.	所以,你只是听着在这里 有喝一杯说话给我。
240	Let me know if you give people enough space	给人足够的空间就告诉我
241	They will reveal themselves to you, but we're so busy talking.	他们会向你露面 但我们很忙
242	We're so busy making noise because we think	我们忙着制造噪音,因为我们想
243	Everybody needs to hear me.	每个人都需要听到我。
244	I'm identity.	我是身份证明
245	Everybody needs to know me me me me and	每个人都需要认识我 我和
246	You know what nobody cares	你知道没人在乎什么
247	Is there something in that as well where when you listen to someone they like you more?	你听别人说话的时候,有没有其他东西?
248	Yeah, they like you more because everybody loves to talk about themselves because everybody wants to feel heard now	是啊,他们更喜欢你 因为每个人都喜欢谈论自己 因为每个人都想感觉听到现在
249	I'll tell you this though	我会告诉你的
250	I'm gonna push back on the little bit of the like thing because even in business people like I need people to like me	我要退后一点 像这样的小事 因为即使是在商业上 像我要人喜欢我
251	I need people to like me	我需要人们喜欢我
252	That is a trek for disaster because now you're focused on not what your goal is	那是一场灾难之旅 因为现在你不是在关注你的目标
253	But I need to make somebody like me.	但我需要让一个人像我一样。
254	Those are two different animals	那是两个不同的动物
255	If my goal is to do a deal with you	如果我的目标是和你做个交易
256	Then I'm gonna focus on what do I need to get this deal done if my goal is to get you to like me	那我要专心做点什么来完成这个交易 如果我的目标是让你喜欢我
257	Which is much more complex and much more confusing and also it's gonna mess me up and trying to figure that out.	这更复杂 也更令人困惑 而且它会弄乱我 试图弄清楚这一点。
258	I say this	我说这个
259	Don't focus on making people like you because you can do everything right and people may still just not like you	不要专心于造就像你这样的人 因为你能做一切正确 而人们仍然可能不喜欢你
260	instead focus on	而不是专注于
261	How about I'm gonna be competent and what I do when I say I'm going to do something I follow through when I say	怎么样,我会是 有能力,我做什么 当我说,我会做一些事情,我
262	I can do something.	我可以做点什么
263	I actually can do it when I say I'm gonna be there at 9	我九点就到
264	I'm there at 855 in the US Secret Service.	我在855号的美国特勤局
265	We had a saying if you're on time, you're late	我们有个说法 如果你准时,你迟到了
266	So I show you that I'm competent when you see that are you gonna like me for that?	所以我告诉你,我有能力 当你看到,你会喜欢我吗?
267	Yes, you are	对,你是
268	I'll respect you	我会尊重你的
269	Now	现在
270	There's warmth	有温暖
271	Warmth is the other element here warmth is I show you respect	温暖是另一个元素 在这里温暖,我表示尊重
272	So instead of me trying to get you to like me, how about I just show you respect?	所以我不想让你喜欢我 我尊重你好吗?
273	What does that look like in reality showing some more respect is that again the timekeeping?	这在现实中是什么样子 表现出更多的尊重 又是时间的保持?
274	I'm listening to you	我听着呢
275	I show up on time.	我准时出现
276	I follow through with what I say I'm going to do.	我按我说的去做
277	I'm also open and approachable	我也很开放,很能接近
278	I'm also non-judgmental.	亦不审义.
279	That's a big thing	这是件大事
280	Everybody's kind of like throwing their weight around.	每个人都喜欢把体重扔过来
281	Let me tell you what I think.	让我告诉你我的想法
282	Let me tell you what I think	让我告诉你我怎么想
283	Nobody needs to know what you think	没人需要知道你怎么想
284	It doesn't matter if you're really trying to build a connection with a person then build it and let them tell you what they think	如果你真的想和一个人建立联系 那就不要紧 然后让他们告诉你他们的想法
285	Because now I see the world through your lens not mine	因为现在我从你的镜头看世界 而不是我的
286	I always say when especially I do a lot of keynotes and training for businesses.	我总是说,当我特别 做很多的基调 和培训企业。
287	You don't matter.	你无所谓
288	They matter	它们很重要
289	What do they want?	他们想要什么?
290	What did they need?	他们需要什么?
291	What's important to them?	对他们有什么重要?
292	Let them tell you and then when they tell you instead of trying to guess how to enter a conversation	让他们告诉你,然后当他们告诉你 而不是试图猜测如何进入谈话
293	Because you're coming into the blind but what do I do I shut up I listen I let you reveal to me what matters to you	因为你要进到盲眼里... ...但我要做什么... ...我闭嘴...
294	What your values are and then I come in more intelligently into the conversation and I speak to you	你的价值是什么 然后我更聪明地走进谈话 我和你说话
295	You have to know your audience, but you don't know your audience if you're doing all the talking	你必须了解你的观众,但你不知道你的观众 如果你做所有的谈话
296	Everybody's motivated by something different if you take my motivational factor growing up	每个人的动机 不同的东西 如果你拿我的动机因素长大
297	I was never motivated by money.	我从来就没有钱的动机
298	My Russian was greed.	我的俄罗斯人很贪婪
299	That's fair, but I wasn't whenever I got a job	这很公平,但当我找到工作时,我没有
300	I never looked at the pay NYPD.	我从没看过纽约警局的薪水
301	I had no idea what my salary was	我不知道薪水是多少
302	When I went to the US Secret Service, I never once asked them.	当我去美国特勤局时 我从来没有问过他们
303	What's the pay because I wasn't motivated by that	薪水是多少,因为我没有这个动机
304	I was motivated by the mission by the purpose	我受使命的驱使
305	But people will show you that so the recruiter that talked to me probably realized this woman never once	但人们会告诉你,所以 招募者谁跟我说话 可能意识到这个女人从来没有一次
306	Asked me what her salary is going to be.	问我她的工资是多少
307	She's not motivated by that.	她没有这个动机
308	Those are little things that people show you	那些是人们展示给你的小东西
309	People will show you what they care about if we just hold back stay silent	人们会告诉你他们在乎什么 如果我们不说话
310	Ask good questions and you know what we're genuinely curious.	问好问题,你知道我们真正好奇的是什么
311	I genuinely want to get to know you	我真的很想认识你
312	I genuinely want to understand you.	我真心想了解你 我非常想了解你 明白吗
313	I don't genuinely want to tell you all about me	我不想告诉你我的一切
314	That's different and the one factor that's really important is not having judgment being non-judgmental	这是不同的, 一个真正重要的因素是 判断不是判断
315	When you show judgment to another person	当你对别人做出判断
316	They're gonna filter what they say they're gonna shut down	他们会过滤他们说要关闭的东西
317	They're gonna hold back because nobody likes to be judged.	他们不会罢休 因为没人喜欢被审判
318	I would interview in the polygraph room	我会在测谎室采访
319	People who committed really horrible crimes crimes against children a lot of people would say to me	那些对儿童犯下滔天罪行的人 很多人会对我说
320	How can you sit there and listen to it and not you know, tell them what you thought or not like	你怎么能坐在那里,听它,不知道, 告诉他们你的想法或不喜欢
321	Ream them out.	把他们干掉
322	I was like because my goal was to get information to see where there are their victims	我之所以如此,是因为我的目标是 得到信息,看看哪里有受害者
323	How did they do it?	他们怎么做到的?
324	I want to know what they did so that I can make sure that this doesn't happen again and that I do maybe get information	我想知道他们做了什么 这样我就能确保不再发生这种事 并且我能得到信息
325	So I can get a conviction and then I also want to know if there are other victims out there	这样我就能定罪了,然后我也想知道 是否有其他受害者在那里
326	My goal is not to check somebody and put him in his place or her and tell them what I think of them	我的目标不是检查某人,把他放在他的位置上 告诉他们我对他们的看法
327	Those are two different things also in the room	房间里还有两样东西
328	My goal was not to get them to like me	我的目标不是让他们喜欢我
329	My goal was to get them to feel heard to feel respected for me to be professional and I think we bring the wrong terms	我的目标是让他们觉得听到 觉得受人尊重 对我来说是专业的 我认为我们带错了条件
330	Because it's confusing if I want you to like me to think of it this way then I'm gonna think I have to be nice to him	因为如果我想你喜欢我 这样想的话 我就会觉得自己应该对他好一点
331	I have to be his friend and when you become you're in business, you can be warm	我必须做他的朋友 当你在生意上,你可以温暖
332	But when you start becoming people's friends, that's when the lines get blurred and we get confused	但当你开始成为人们的朋友, 那就是当线变得模糊 我们变得困惑
333	And in fact, there's research done by Susan Fisk and Chris Malone and they say be warm to people be open and approachable	事实上,苏珊·菲斯克和克里斯·马龙 做了一些研究,他们说要对人温暖,要开诚布公
334	But if you're overly nice overly kind overly polite, that's when you get rolled	但是如果你太好 过分礼貌, 这就是你被滚
335	You want to find that beautiful balance where I'm a professional I'm warm.	你想找到美丽的平衡 在那里,我是一个专业 我温暖。
336	I'm non-judgmental come talk to me	我不是法官 来跟我说话
337	Tell me but at the same time I maintain my authority.	告诉我,但同时我保持我的权威。
338	I maintain my boundaries	我维持我的界限
339	What about when someone compromises your boundaries or disrespects you?	当有人妥协或不尊重你时呢?
340	How do you react to that?	你对此有什么反应?
341	Because I think I have a lot of leaders around me in my various businesses and I see sometimes that some	因为我认为我身边有很多领导者 在我的各种业务,我有时看到一些
342	leaders struggle with	领导人与
343	confrontation they struggle with you know team member might	对抗他们与你知道团队成员可能
344	Disrespect them in some way or might disregard might not deliver work to the right standard and they might	以某种方式不尊重他们,或可能不尊重他们,可能无法使工作达到正确的标准,而且他们可能
345	struggle with like pulling that person in knowing how to do that and how to address that situation and the avoidance of that conflict obviously just	像拉那人 知道如何做到这一点, 如何解决这种情况, 避免冲突
346	Causes a bigger future problem because that you're setting a new you're setting a new boundary, right?	造成一个更大的未来问题 因为你正在设定一个新的 你正在设定一个新的界限,对不对?
347	You've let someone	你让一个人
348	Jeopardize or	危害或
349	Cross a line and if you don't I'm assuming that if in the moment you don't address that they're gonna cross it again in the future	跨过一条线,如果你不这样做,我假设,如果你不 在那一刻,你不 地址,他们会再次越过它 在未来
350	This is really about like conflict resolution interpersonal conflict resolution.	这实际上就像解决人际冲突一样。
351	And when you've been disrespected, how do you deal with that?	当你受到不尊重时, 你怎么处理?
352	So the first I'm gonna do is I'm gonna flip it back.	所以首先我要把它翻回来
353	What have you done to let people think that they can do that to you?	你做了什么 让别人以为他们能这样对你?
354	That's the first thing I'm gonna say what standards have you created or what things have you set up to let people think?	我首先要说的是 你创造了什么标准 或设置什么来让人们思考?
355	I don't have to deliver on time.	我不用准时送货
356	I can't be disrespectful.	我不能无礼
357	I can't show up late for work	我不能迟到上班
358	that's the first thing I'm gonna say so it has it a guess that I did I in the past set a	这是我要说的第一件事,所以它有一个猜测,我过去做了一个
359	Standard for this right in some way that I showed up in the past.	过去我以某种方式出现的权利的标准。
360	That's the first thing I'm gonna do	这是我要做的第一件事
361	What is there something I have done to create an environment where a person thinks that it is okay to do these things	我做了什么来创造一个环境 一个人认为做这些事是好的
362	That's first.	这是第一个。
363	Why do you go to I?	你为什么找我?
364	Because I'm the one who sets the tone	因为我是定调的人
365	I I just interviewed a chief of station former chief of station John Francie.	我刚刚采访了一位站长 前任站长约翰·弗朗西
366	He's former CIA and	他是前中情局探员
367	He managed a lot of people and a very strong a lot of strong	他管理着很多人,非常强壮
368	personalities because you got officers and all these in different people and he said to me, you know what I learned he said	因为你有军官 和所有这些 在不同的人 他对我说, 你知道我学到了什么 他说
369	It is easier to be	比较容易
370	More have boundaries and be a little bit more	更多有界限,多一点
371	sturdy and more authoritative in the beginning and then pull back and	刚开始就很稳健 更有权威 然后再撤退
372	To be everybody's friend and then try to put those boundaries in place.	成为大家的朋友,然后尝试设置这些界限。
373	The latter doesn't work	后者没用
374	He's like you do the first you let people know what you expect of them and then you can pull back a little bit	他就像你做的第一件事,你告诉人们你期望他们什么, 然后你可以收回一点点
375	But you always have to toe that line.	但你总得去摸那条线
376	So that's what I'm gonna say first and he's right	所以我要先说,他是对的
377	What tone have I set in the environment that I'm working that people think it's okay to do these things.	我在工作的环境里设置了什么样的语气, 人们觉得可以做这些事情。
378	That's one now	这是现在
379	Let's say sometimes I have an outlier.	假设我有时有外线
380	I have a person who does these things as soon as it happens.	我有一个人做这些事情 一旦发生。
381	You have to address it	你得解决它
382	What people do is they don't address things they let it go.	人们做的是 他们不处理他们放过的东西。
383	It's small and then it happens again	它很小,然后又发生
384	It's small then again, and then we become resentful.	它又小了,然后我们变得怨恨。
385	We become pissed	我们变得很生气
386	Why does this person keep doing it why don't they self-correct again it goes back to me why haven't I addressed it	为什么这个人一直这样 为什么他们不再自我纠正呢?
387	People are afraid of conflict	人们害怕冲突
388	Conflict can be done in a great way	冲突可以大有作为
389	You have to think of conflict as think of it as like I'm competing	你一定要把冲突当成我的竞争
390	I'm I can speak to you not raise my voice not make it ugly and debate something with you in the in the White House	我可以跟你说话,不大声说话 不让它丑陋 和你辩论什么在白宫
391	Next to the Oval Office was the cabinet room	办公室旁边是柜房
392	The cabinet room is where the president would sit with all his heads, you know	内阁室是总统坐在他头顶的地方,你知道的
393	Secretary of Treasury Secretary of Homeland Security and they would discuss and debate	国土安全财政部长,他们将讨论和辩论
394	Policies laws and they would compete one person would say I don't like this idea.	政策法和他们竞争 一个人会说我不喜欢这个想法。
395	This is why another person would say well	这就是为什么别人会说得好
396	This idea doesn't work.	这个想法行不通。
397	This is why	这就是为什么
398	You have to be comfortable in doing that.	你这样做必须自在。
399	Most people are not they don't understand that you can sit somebody down and say hey	大多数人不是他们不明白 你可以坐下来说嘿嘿
400	You know this happened.	你知道这发生了。
401	Can you tell me about that?	你能告诉我吗?
402	I had someone who worked for me and she had made a mistake on something and so it was a pretty big mistake	我有一个为我工作的人, 她犯了一个错误的东西 所以这是一个相当大错误
403	So I I called her up and I said hey, you know what this and this happened	所以我打电话给她,我说,嘿, 你知道这是怎么回事,这是怎么回事
404	You know talk me through it and I let her explain and you know, she said, you know, I'm sorry this and that	我让她解释 她说过 我很抱歉
405	There's a reason why?	有原因吗?
406	But the one thing I did I said because I wanted to rectify it because I didn't want to tap it again	但有一件事我说了 因为我不想再拍了
407	I was like, is there anything I can do to help make your job better so you can be more successful at what you do	и稱и暗ぐ或 腊暗ㄆ ┮跑眔
408	Because I want to hear is there something I'm doing or not doing	因为我想听的是,我在做什么或不做什么
409	That's impacting her decision-making or the way she sees things so it's a twofold	这影响了她的决策 或她看待事情的方式 所以这是双重的
410	But you also to when it comes to respect and this is a whole separate thing you brought up with the respect part	但你在尊重方面也一样 这是你提出来的一个单独的事情
411	Just make sure people are truly disrespecting you and that's not your ego	只要确保人们真的不尊重你 这不是你的自负
412	That feels disrespected because sometimes people can't take somebody pushing back	那种感觉很不尊重 因为有时候人们不能把别人推回去
413	And if my goal is to make a great product or business deal or transaction	如果我的目标是做一个伟大的产品 或商业交易或交易
414	Then everything we do should be in furtherance of that	那么我们所做的一切 都应该促进
415	But what happens is Steven people are so afraid of hurting other people's feelings or stepping on other people's toes	但是史蒂文害怕伤害别人的感情 或者踩别人的脚趾
416	Nobody says something and that's worse	没有人会说些什么,那更糟
417	It's sometimes difficult to know the difference between whether this is a violation of my boundaries or this is my ego	有时候很难分辨这到底是违反我的边界,还是违反我的自我
418	because you know	因为你知道
419	I think of	我觉得
420	Much of the reason why people won't confront something in the moment is because they start double-guessing whether they're in the right they're in the wrong	人们现在不面对什么 主要是因为他们开始怀疑自己是否正确
421	This is acceptable.	这是可以接受的。
422	This is unacceptable behavior and that kind of mental debate of	这是令人无法接受的行为 和那种精神争论
423	is that actually acceptable that they treat me like this or that they did this or	他们这样对待我 或者他们这样做
424	am I just being triggered because you know of some kind of emotional issue that I have and that kind of conversation often results in	我之所以被触发是因为你知道我有某种情感问题 那种对话常常导致
425	Them taking their action, which means they tolerate that behavior whether they should or shouldn't and then it becomes a norm	他们采取行动,这意味着他们容忍这种行为,不管他们是否应该这样做,然后就成为一种规范
426	You know, it's interesting.	你知道,这很有趣。
427	So I'm a very	所以我是一个非常
428	Like I'm quick to to jump and like I don't want to say go into attack mode, but I have it	就像我跳得很快一样 我不想说进入攻击模式 但我有
429	I'm Greek.	我是希腊人,我是希腊人 I'm Greek.
430	I grew up in New York and Queens.	我在纽约和皇后区长大的
431	It's like it's just on so I always have to my immediate response is like what?	就像它刚刚开始,所以我总是有 我的即时反应是什么?
432	internally inside voice I	内部的声音I
433	Pause and I'm like hang on.	暂停,我就像坚持。
434	Is this person telling me something or doing something that I should hear?	这个人告诉我什么 还是做一些我应该听到的事?
435	Right.	对
436	Maybe they're telling I made a mistake and they're trying to help me make something better	也许他们告诉我犯了一个错误 他们想帮我做点更好的
437	Or is this person crossing a boundary that I don't want them to cross so then I will sit that person down or have a conversation	还是这个人越过了边界 我不想让他们越过 那样我就让那个人坐下来 或谈话
438	Hey, can you tell me about this?	你能告诉我吗?
439	What were you thinking when this happened walk me through it?	当事情发生时你在想什么?
440	But I will tell you non-judgmental right you don't want to show it is I called the poker face	但我会告诉你,没有判断的权利,你不想 显示它是我叫扑克脸
441	Just don't show it and let them talk and just see what they're thinking	让他们说话 看看他们在想什么
442	Most people as they're talking to you Steven	大多数人在跟你说话 史蒂芬
443	They will on their own realize as they talk through it what they made wrong what they did wrong	他们将觉悟,当他们在乐园中谈论自己所犯的罪恶。
444	Also, you lead by example, so sometimes I'll make a mistake	还有,你以身作则,所以有时候我会犯错
445	I'll miss a deadline with someone I work with and I'll say listen.	我会错过一个最后期限 与我工作的人 我会说听。
446	I'm sorry.	对不起
447	I was traveling	我当时在旅行
448	I own it	我拥有它
449	Tell me what I need to do to fix it and what I have found	告诉我我需要做什么来修复它和找到什么
450	When I do that the people I work with when they make a mistake and I'm like, hey what happened with this?	当我这样做的时候,我的同事 他们犯了一个错误,我一样,嘿,这是怎么回事?
451	You know what?	你知道吗?
452	I mean, I'm sorry.	我的意思是,对不起。
453	I missed the deadline.	我错过了最后期限。
454	I own it.	我拥有它。
455	I'll fix it.	我会修好的
456	They reflect back what I show them	他们反射我给他们看的东西
457	So I think it also shows in the behavior and and then there's sometimes	因此,我认为它也显示 在行为,然后有时
458	Sometimes you'll bring somebody in that just should not be there and then you also have to make that hard decision	有时候你会带一个人进去, 只是不应该在那里, 然后,你还必须做出艰难的决定
459	Because that one person it will destroy the fabric of the group	因为一个人,它会破坏 组织的结构
460	One person can do that because everybody else around now	一个人可以这样做,因为其他人现在都在
461	Watches that interaction and they're thinking well Steven doesn't care.	看着互动 他们想的很好 史蒂芬不在乎
462	I was like he's letting this guy do this so I can do this	我仿佛他让这家伙这样做 让我可以做到这一点
463	Right.	对
464	It's a I compared to like when I teach so as I said, I'm an adjunct professor	就像我说的,我是副教授
465	I teach college.	我教大学。
466	I teach underground criminal justice first day class	我教地下刑事司法 第一天课
467	When they come in I tell them no cell phones	当他们进来时,我告诉他们没有手机
468	I was like and the reason I have you do no cell phones is not because I'm I want you to respect me or this	我当时很喜欢,我让你没有手机的原因 不是因为我要你尊重我或这个
469	And that I was like I owe you an education.	我就像欠你教育一样
470	I owe you an education	我欠你一个教育
471	I know some professors don't care but I tell my students day one.	我知道有些教授不在乎 但我告诉我的学生第一天。
472	I give a shit and because I give a shit	我在乎,因为我在乎
473	I don't want to see the phone in the class.	我不想在课堂上看到电话
474	However, I do something else.	然而,我做了别的事。
475	It's an influence strategy	这是一个影响策略
476	I say however, you can leave this classroom anytime you want to check Facebook go on Instagram	但我说,你可以随时离开这个教室 你想检查Facebook去Instagram
477	I don't care you have that autonomy	我不管你有这种自主权
478	But in here, I want you to respect the sanctity of the classroom	但在这里,我要你尊重教室的神圣
479	Because you deserve education and I owe it to you and I set that standard and side note	因为你应该得到教育 我欠你一个人情 我设定了标准 和副奏
480	There's a video clip that I showed day one and you're actually in it.	有一个视频片段,我展示了第一天,你实际上在里面。
481	I didn't even know who you were	我甚至不知道你是谁
482	There's a clip of you and some others	有你和其他一些人的片断
483	Montage of videos together talking about social media and how it impacts you adversely and	并分享社群媒体,
484	Cell phones and cell phone addiction and all that and I actually play that clip and can I tell you it resonates with everybody?	手机和手机上瘾,所有这一切, 我实际上播放的剪辑, 我可以告诉你它与每个人的共鸣?
485	And I have no problems the rest of semester	我下半学期没有问题
486	But I set that tone and I tell them if I see the phone you're going home.	但我定下了语气,告诉他们如果我看到电话,你会回家。
487	No hard feelings	没有不好的感觉
488	I'm gonna pause class and I'm gonna send you home and then if somebody violates it though, I do it	我要暂停上课,然后送你回家 如果有人违反它,我做它
489	{\fn黑体\fs22\bord1\shad0\3aHBE\4aH00\fscx67\fscy66\2cHFFFFFF\3cH808080}你必须建立起来吗?
490	How would I describe it?	我该怎么形容呢?
491	mental fortitude	精神坚韧
492	Ability to be direct to look someone in the eye	能直视别人的眼睛
493	To stand up straight	直立起来
494	have you had to build that up over time because there'll be a lot of people who look at you and see strength and they see	你不得不逐渐建立起来 因为会有很多人看着你,看到力量,看到力量
495	Confidence and they see conviction and they'll wonder maybe she was just born like that	信心和他们看到信念 他们会怀疑 也许她就是那样出生的
496	Or maybe there's something she did along the way that grew that a lot of mistakes and a lot of discipline	或者也许她在路上做了一些事 越演越烈 错误越多 纪律也越严格
497	and it's also	还有...
498	The people you surround yourself with will set that example that tone for you	你身边的人会为你树立这个榜样
499	If everybody around me is a mess or everybody around me when there's a stressful situation, they fall apart and they're chaotic	如果我周围的每个人都是一团糟 或者我周围的每个人都有压力的时候, 他们崩溃了,他们是混乱的
500	I'm gonna be that even to this day Stephen	我会一直这样 直到今天 史蒂芬
501	I sit and I'm very aware of who I have conversations with whose energy I absorb whose problems	我坐着,我非常清楚我和谁的对话 我吸收谁的精力,谁的问题
502	I solve I have somebody care about very deeply there in a	我发现有人很关心
503	Situation with someone a relationship with someone who is volatile chaotic.	和一个不稳定的混乱的人有关系
504	They've come to me so many times	他们来找我很多次了
505	I said you need to let go of this person.	我说你要放开这个人
506	I will I will they don't but what happens is they keep coming to me	我将不让他们,但会发生什么 他们不断来找我
507	I'm having this problem and I put them on point	我有这个问题,我让他们注意
508	I'm like I told you what to do now you have to sort that out because now what's happening is your stuff is	и碞钩и禗筁瞷赣或快 ┮瞷ㄆ薄琌ㄆ薄
509	Coming into me and I can't have that because I have to keep this steady	进入我和我不能拥有 因为我必须保持稳定
510	So	这么说
511	Sometimes even with pain in my heart	有时候,即使我心痛
512	I'll have to kind of move that person a little bit to the outer part of the circle does not mean I don't care	我不得不把那个人移到外圈 并不意味着我不在乎
513	I love them, but it means your chaos has to stay there because it's going to bleed into my life	我爱他们,但这意味着你的混乱 必须留在那里,因为它会流血进入我的生活
514	You're unsteady.	你有点不稳
515	I'm unsteady	我不稳
516	But everybody around me it's like a I don't want to say it's like a calculus problem	但我身边的每个人都像一个 我不想说它就像一个微积分问题
517	But it's kind of simple math man.	但它是一种简单的数学人。
518	Look at who's around you.	看看你身边是谁
519	You are them	你是他们
520	They are you and if you don't like what's going on with you pause and be like, who am I exposed to the most?	他们就是你,如果你不喜欢 发生了什么事,你暂停和喜欢, 我是谁最暴露?
521	Sometimes the people we love they can be very difficult personalities, but even with them you could say I can manage this	有时我们所爱的人 可能很困难的个性, 但即使与他们,你可以说,我可以管理这个
522	I don't want to cut this person out	我不想让这个人出局
523	But what do I do?	我该怎么办?
524	I just move them to the edge of the circle a little bit more and you have to make sure your core	我把它们移到圆圈的边缘 再多一点 你得确保你的核心
525	Circle is strong and that's something you have to constantly reassess because sometimes in our lives	圈子很坚固,这是你必须不断重新评估的东西 因为有时我们的生活
526	This person is good here and then maybe two three years later, they're not good anymore	这个人在这里很好,然后也许两年后, 他们不再好
527	But what we're tied to is that person who we knew back then well, they're not the same person now	但是我们被绑在一起的是 那个我们认识的人
528	You have a shit show around you	你身边有鬼东西
529	It's you because you're allowing it to exist.	因为你允许它存在
530	So think about quietly	所以静静想想
531	how can I create these changes and	我如何创造这些变化和
532	Quietly make these changes quietly make these boundaries because these are boundaries internal for you	静静地做这些改变 静静地做这些界限 因为这是你内部的界限
533	It's interesting I remember watching a video of Steve Jobs talk about how he built his career and he said in that video	有趣的是,我记得观看了一段关于史蒂夫·乔布斯的视频 谈到他如何构建他的职业生涯 他在视频中说
534	He said I built my career by surrounding myself and finding these truly exceptional people these a players and the crazy thing is	他说我靠环绕自己来建立事业 找到这些真正非凡的人 这些球员
535	When you find these a players, they like working with other a players and it propagates	当你发现这些玩家, 他们喜欢与其他玩家合作 并传播
536	But the opposite is also true, right?	但恰恰相反,对不对?
537	If when you build a circle of drama, they'll invite more drama	如果你造出一圈的戏剧 他们就会邀请更多的戏剧
538	But if you I look at my own life and I look at my company's and it's almost this crazy sort of process of osmosis	但是,如果你看我自己的生活,我看我的公司 它几乎是这种疯狂的 渗透过程
539	when we have	当我们有
540	Chaos and we have an experience and we have drama we end up hiring and inviting more of the same.	混乱,我们有经验,我们有戏剧 我们最后雇用和邀请更多的相同的。
541	Whereas when we made those	而当我们做这些
542	Steps to bring in experience and thinking in my early my early career	在我早期的职业生涯中 引入经验和思维的步骤
543	experience and maturity and composure and	经验、成熟度和舒适度
544	a certain yeah certain psychological maturity then that's what we ended up bringing more of more and more in because	某种程度的心理成熟 那就是我们带来越来越多的东西的原因
545	Like-minded people attract like-minded people and even in the context of our own lives	志同道合的人会吸引志同道合的人 甚至在我们自己的生活中
546	Our circle will just you know, the fifth person will become the sixth person if that makes sense	我们的圈子会只是你知道, 第五个人将成为第六人 如果这有道理
547	Yes, it's like they rotate out and it's okay	是的,就像他们旋转出去,没关系
548	You know, it's interesting to I'm wondering too because you do this podcast and you really try to you're warm	你知道,这很有趣,我也想知道 因为你做这个播客 你真的尝试 你温暖
549	you're open you want people to speak to you and I wonder if	你开业了 你想让别人跟你说话 我想知道
550	people that work with you outside of the podcast or people that work with you in your business see this Steven on the	在播客之外和你共事的人 或与你共事的人
551	Podcast and they think he's so warm.	波德卡斯人觉得他很温暖
552	He's so open	他这么开放
553	He's so flexible and they confuse that Steven with the Steven who does business and there can be different versions of you Steven	他如此灵活 他们把史蒂文和做生意的史蒂文混为一谈 可能会有不同版本的你 史蒂文
554	So you could think of it and I do this all the time who I am here doesn't mean I'm the same person here	所以,你可以想到它,我做这一切 我在这里所有的时间, 不意味着我是同一个人在这里。
555	So when I show up to work, I bring in maybe a little bit more energy a little bit more directness	所以当我上班时,我带进 一点点的能量 一点点的直觉
556	When I hire when I hire people I'll tell people hey listen because I want to be efficient at what I do	当我雇人的时候,我会告诉别人,嘿,听,因为我想 高效我的工作
557	Sometimes I'll be very direct because I want to just get there.	有时候我会很直接 因为我只想到那里。
558	Don't get your feelings hurt	不要伤害你的感情
559	If at any point there's something you're not sure about please tell me but because I need to get to there	如果有件事你不确定 请告诉我 因为我需要去那儿
560	I may be just be direct.	我也许只是直接。
561	So if you think it's gonna be hard for you, I'm not the person	所以,如果你觉得这对你来说很困难, 我不是那个人
562	I was like, but I will always appreciate you and I'm always here	我本来想,但我会永远感激你 我总是在这里
563	So I'll sprinkle in every now and then hey, I appreciate you.	所以我会时不时地洒进去,谢谢你
564	Thank you for this.	谢谢你
565	This is great that way in the so	这样很好
566	There's my warmth so that in those months when I'm like, hey this email you guys wrote	我的暖气让我在那些月里 想起你们写的邮件
567	This is we can't send this out.	我们不能把这个发出去
568	This needs to be redone.	这需要重做。
569	And so nobody's hearing like oh, I'm stupid	所以没人听得象哦,我傻了
570	She thinks I'm done.	她觉得我完了
571	I did a horrible job.	我做了一个可怕的工作。
572	It's like no the email just sucks change it and fix it	这就像没有电子邮件 只是吸它修改和修复
573	So we can move on and do better	这样我们才能继续前进,做得更好
574	but think about the versions you bring in because I'll give you an example who I am in the classroom is different than who I	但想想你带来的版本 因为我会给你一个例子 我在课堂上是谁 和我是谁不一样
575	Am on the podcast is different who I am when I do the news	播客里的人不一样 当我做新闻时
576	There are different versions of me and we have to weigh out those	有不同版本的我 我们必须权衡这些
577	So if you're going into a business meeting or you're dealing with people who look to you as a supervisor	所以,如果你去参加一个商业会议 或者你处理的人 谁期待你作为一个主管
578	A little bit of a different Stephen so they feel	有点不一样的史蒂芬,让他们觉得
579	It's not what you say to people Stephen	这不是你对别人说的 史蒂芬
580	It's how they feel around you and if they feel like he's not taking any of this	这是你周围的感受 如果他们觉得他不吃这些东西
581	They're gonna know it.	他们会知道的
582	It's the essence of who we are.	这是我们的本质。
583	It's our ethos is a Greek word your way of being	这是我们的特质 是一个希腊字 你的方式
584	We show we show people in the context of whatever environment we're in	我们展示我们所处环境的人
585	The version that we want them to see so that we can get the results that we want	我们希望他们能看到的版本 这样我们就能得到我们想要的结果
586	You spent much of your time around great leaders if I think about you know, you were working for about almost 12 years around	你花了很多时间在伟大领袖身边 如果我想到你,你知道, 你工作了大约12年左右
587	people like Bill Clinton and	比尔·克林顿和
588	Barack Obama and Michelle Obama	巴拉克·奥巴马和米歇尔·奥巴马
589	Did you learn anything about?	你学到什么了吗?
590	leadership	领导
591	From those individuals from observing them and seeing how they conducted themselves and how they communicated, you know in the UK	从那些观察他们,看到他们如何表现自己,如何沟通的人,你知道在英国
592	we see someone like Barack Obama is a	我们看见像巴拉克·奥巴马这样的人
593	really incredible	难以置信
594	Leader for many reasons, but I think one of the real standout reasons is his ability to communicate in a certain way	领导者有很多原因 但我认为一个真正的突出原因 就是他有能力以某种方式沟通
595	Which galvanizes people and we haven't really seen I mean one could actually argue that Trump has his own	这激励着人们,我们还没有真正看到 我的意思是,人们实际上可以争论 川普有自己的
596	Masterful communication skills.	精通沟通技巧.
597	It's very different	不一样
598	But it seems to work	但它似乎有用
599	You know, did you learn anything from being around these presidents about leadership and communication?	你知道,你从这些总统身边学到了什么 关于领导力和沟通的知识吗?
600	You learn you learn something from all of them to be president of the United States whoever you are	你从他们那里学到一些东西 成为美国总统 不管你是谁
601	That's a feat in of itself, so they're all they all have something so it's interesting the one thing I learned is	这本身就是个成就,所以他们都拥有一些东西 所以有趣的是我学到的一件事
602	{\fn黑体\fs22\bord1\shad0\3aHBE\4aH00\fscx67\fscy66\2cHFFFFFF\3cH808080}恢复力 {\fn黑体\fs22\bord1\shad0\3aHBE\4aH00\fscx67\fscy66\2cHFFFFFF\3cH808080}你将会是总统的旁边 {\fn黑体\fs22\bord1\shad0\3aHBE\4aH00\fscx67\fscy66\2cHFFFFFF\3cH808080}这是每个总统
603	Formers all of them	全都是前辈
604	I stood next to you and you're standing next to them and they're about to go on stage or in a big meeting or	我站在你旁边 你站在他们旁边 他们就要上台或参加一个大型会议
605	They're talking to someone and you've got the news on and there's some political pundit on the news or channel talking about how stupid	他们正在和某人谈话,你已经得到的消息 和一些政治专家 在新闻或频道谈论 多么愚蠢
606	He's a dummy he's this he's that just shredding them and he	他是一个傻瓜 他就是这个 他刚刚粉碎他们和他
607	Looks at it	看这个
608	Yeah, gets his stuff together gets a speech together gets on stage and delivers when the majority of the public would sit there	是啊,把他的东西一起 得到一个演讲 一起上台 和交付 当大多数公众 会坐在那里
609	Oh my god, I'm disrespected.	哦,我的上帝,我无礼。
610	I'm this how can they say that?	他们怎么能这么说?
611	Nothing that was amazing to me	对我来说没什么了不起的
612	So not only did the US Secret Service make me resilient but to see somebody just take	不仅美国特勤局让我恢复了活力 而且还让我看到有人只是拿
613	Such heat or hear such horrible things said about them on a consistent basis on such public platforms	如此热闹或听到如此可怕的事情 在这种公共平台上持续地说起他们
614	And you have the ability to wake up walk outside the White House your head up get in your limo go on stage	你有能力醒来 走出白宫 你的头 上你的豪华轿车去舞台
615	Go do this press conference and you're like, it's just gonna happen	去办记者招待会,你喜欢, 它只是要去
616	there's no there's no school for that and so because I was around these these these these	没有学校,所以我一直在这些周围
617	Personalities I'm like, yeah.	我个人喜欢,是的。
618	Well if he can do it I can do it.	如果他能做到这一点,我可以做到这一点。
619	He was the most impressive	他是最厉害的
620	I have to tell you they all were there was no one that wasn't like they all had their their gift	我不得不告诉你,他们都曾有过 没有人不像他们都有天赋
621	You know and even Trump you brought up Trump before I think what people like about him.	你知道,甚至特朗普 你提出特朗普之前,我想 人们喜欢他。
622	He's just direct	他只是直接说
623	He's very direct and he just lands it.	他非常直接,他刚刚着陆。
624	He says what he says and he doesn't care	他说他说的话,他不在乎
625	There's a there's something and I'm Switzerland because in the US Secret Service	有什么东西,我是瑞士 因为在美国特勤局
626	We actually weren't even allowed to talk about if we voted for someone we were very apolitical	如果我们投给某个人 我们甚至不能谈政治
627	And I've always stayed that way	我总是这样
628	But from an objective standpoint people just like the fact that he just says it and he doesn't care and	但从客观的观点来看,人们只是喜欢 他只是说出来,他不在乎
629	Sometimes I think people envy that did you did you see how they made their decisions?	有时候我觉得人们嫉妒 你看见他们如何做决定了吗?
630	Did you ever observe them making tough decisions?	你见过他们做出艰难的决定吗?
631	Yes all the time.	是的,所有的时间。
632	You'd be behind closed-door meetings	你会在闭门会面后
633	You would hear their ability give me an example of this	你会听到他们的能力 给我一个例子
634	I'm interested	我有兴趣
635	you know when the stakes are that high because a lot of us on a day-to-day basis are making fairly inconsequential decisions especially in the	你知道当赌注这么高的时候... ...因为我们中很多人每天都在做 相当不切实际的决定...
636	Running the most powerful nation in the world	管理着世界上最强大的国家
637	So I'm interested when the stakes are that high when you've got to get Osama bin Laden in a compound in Pakistan	所以,当赌注这么高的时候,我感兴趣 当你把奥萨马・本・拉登带到巴基斯坦的大院里的时候
638	Or you know, there's a there's a terrorist attack how these individuals	或者你知道,有 恐怖分子攻击 这些人是如何
639	Make decisions	作出决定
640	They're not driven by emotion.	他们不是被情绪驱使的
641	They're very rational based decisions.	它们是非常理性的决定。
642	I weigh the pros.	我重磅的亲。
643	I weigh the cons	我重负
644	I look at the facts.	我看看事实
645	So you very rarely if ever and I could probably say I've never heard a US president yell ever	所以,你很少,如果曾经, 我可以说,我从来没有听到过美国总统的吼叫
646	I've never heard a US president lose his	我从未听过美国总统失去他
647	Himself, you know when you hear them debate or talk about things, it's a debate	他自己,你知道 当你听到他们辩论或谈论事物, 这是一个辩论
648	I can look at you.	我可以看着你。
649	You can look at me like Stephen	你可以看着我 像斯蒂芬
650	I don't think that this is right and you say everyone why isn't this right if we do it this way this way this way	我不认为这是对的 而你说,为什么我们这样做是不对的?
651	This is gonna happen.	这会发生的。
652	Yeah, but Stephen if you do it like that, and what if this happens and these guys die	是的,但斯蒂芬 如果你这样做, 如果发生这种情况 和这些人死了
653	Well, I don't see it like that.	我不这么认为
654	Well, sir.	师曰.
655	I see it this way	我是这样看的
656	It's like we're gonna have to figure it out	好像我们得想办法
657	But you're also with people who have the ability to sit and withstand their their feelings are not so fragile	但你也和那些能坐着忍受感情的人在一起
658	Their ego not so soft that you can actually have this debate and that's important for you to have in your circle	他们的自负并不那么柔软 以至于你实际上可以有这场辩论 这对你圈子很重要
659	Can you have these debates with people?	你能和别人讨论这些吗?
660	I would call them competing.	我会叫他们竞争。
661	There's a two great researchers in the UK	英国有两位伟大的研究者
662	Lawrence博士和Emily Allison 他们把人设计成动物
663	One of the things that talk about is someone who's in control and setting the agenda is someone who's lying	谈论的其中一件事是 一个人谁在控制 和设定议程 是某人说谎
664	I'm a lion and so sometimes we have to bring a little bit more line and with us or somebody who's competing is	我是一个狮子,所以有时我们必须 带来一点点更多的线 与我们或某人谁的竞争是
665	somebody who's capable of kind of	一个有能力的人
666	Debating with you, but it doesn't have to be ugly	与你同床共枕,但没必要这么丑
667	I don't have to raise my voice or get in your face to break something down	我不必高声说话 也不必冲进你脸上 打破东西
668	I can sit there and be rational the problem the majority people have is they're so invested and emotional	我可以坐在那里 理性地处理多数人的问题 他们是如此投入和情感
669	They bring their feelings hurt their feelings into it	他们的感情会伤害他们的感情
670	Even something you just brought up Trump and he had like a little bit of a look like Trump	连你刚刚提起的特朗普 也有点像特朗普
671	Because everyone's so emotional when they hear that name pull back and be objective.	因为每个人听到这个名字后都会如此情绪化,变得客观.
672	It's like let me look at this from a factual standpoint	这就像让我从事实的角度来看待这个
673	I'm gonna lay this out.	我要说清楚
674	I'm gonna lay this out	我要说清楚
675	I let let let this lay out when you can make decisions based on facts and rationality	我让你在根据事实和理性做决定的时候,就让它说清楚
676	The emotions go out the window	情绪从窗外走出来
677	You don't want to be an emotional decision-maker	你不想做一个情绪决定者
678	It never goes well because you're not thinking clearly you're like just going with the wave and it's those moments when you say something	事情不会顺利,因为你没有 清楚的思考,你就像只是去 与波,
679	You shouldn't say that afterward you regret it.	事后你不应该这么说 你后悔了
680	Why did that person get me to say that?	为什么那个人让我这么说?
681	I went in with this intention.	我是为了这个目的进去的
682	I kind of got pulled in this direction.	我被拉到了这个方向
683	This person got me to say that no	这个人让我说不
684	It's always on you because you're the governor of you	总是由你负责 因为你是州长
685	The first time you got exposed to a president and you spent time around a president were there any things that	第一次你接触到总统 和你在总统身边呆过的时候
686	Surprised you any things that before then you had a sort of miss sort of	让你惊讶的是,之前你有点失落
687	Ideas of what they were like and how they behaved that you realized suddenly were like	思考他们是什么样子 和他们的举止 你突然意识到
688	Popular misconceptions that most people believe about presidents and so on	大众对总统的误解
689	I don't know if there's a misconception, but my first time they call it standing post	我不知道有没有误解 但我第一次叫它站岗
690	It was for president a George W. Bush, he's in office.	是给乔治·W·布什总统的 他在任
691	I'm standing post for him somewhere	我为他站在某个地方
692	What does that mean?	这是什么意思?
693	Oh standing post is when you're new you don't get into like the close close circle of the president	哦,站岗是当你是新人的时候,你不会像总统的近圈子那样进入
694	It's Evie.	这是伊维。
695	Here's the door and the president's gonna walk through this door in like eight hours from now	这是门 总统八小时后会从这扇门进去
696	We're gonna sweep it check for bombs and everything and your job is to stand watch the store for eight hours.	我们要检查炸弹和一切 你的工作就是守着商店8小时
697	Nobody comes through	没有人能通过
698	Right, that's it.	对,就是这样。
699	That's called post standing you secure the perimeter.	这叫站岗,你守住周边
700	It's mundane, right?	这是普通的,对不对?
701	But you do it.	但你这样做。
702	It's part of the job, especially when you start so I have my one of my first post standing things	这是工作的一部分,特别是当你开始 所以我有我的第一个职位 站立的东西
703	I'm standing by the door and	我站在门边
704	The head agent senior agents coming around checking on us.	首席探员高级探员来检查我们
705	Hey, you okay?	嘿,你没事吧?
706	You okay?	你没事吧?
707	You need anything?	你需要什么吗?
708	It's briefing us and the one agent comes and he's like you knew right?	它向我们汇报,一个探员来了 他就像你知道的一样?
709	I'm like, yeah.	我很喜欢,是的。
710	Well, I'm sorting you	我帮你整理一下
711	I mean I had started under Clinton, but Bush was my real I don't know what it but my real hardcore assignment	我的意思是,我开始在克林顿, 但布什是我的真实 我不知道是什么,但我真正的硬核任务
712	And he's like, where's your phone?	他喜欢,哪里是你的手机?
713	I said, it's here sir.	我说,它在这里,先生。
714	He's like is that thing off or on silent?	他就像那个东西是关闭 还是沉默?
715	I said, yeah, he's like don't let Bush hear your phone go off.	我说,是的,他就像不 让布什听到你的电话响。
716	And I'm like, what do you mean?	而我喜欢, 什么意思?
717	He's like if he hears your phone go off, you're going home	他好像听到你的电话响了 你就回家
718	He's like he doesn't want to hear phones.	他好像不想听电话
719	We want like a respectable environment a quiet quiet environment that thing goes off	我们想要像一个可敬的环境 一个安静的环境 东西会爆炸
720	You're gone.	你不见了。
721	He sends people home and I was like what why would he get so upset with the phone?	他把人送回家,我就想 他为什么会这么生气?
722	I didn't quite understand it now	我现在不太明白
723	I understand it because if everybody's doing this and distracted nobody's focused there's things going on.	我理解,因为如果每个人都这样做 并且分散注意力 没有人集中,有事情发生。
724	It's the energy the vibration	是振动的能量
725	He was trying to be a leader and set boundaries for the environment he wanted everybody present everybody focused	他试图成为一个领导者, 并为环境设定界限, 他希望每个人都展示 每个人专注于
726	Nobody's on their phones.	没人打电话
727	No shenanigans	不许乱来
728	That really stuck with me and you better make sure I took that thing out put it all the way down	那真的坚持了我,你最好确保 我拿了那东西 把它一路下来
729	I was like the president United States is not sending me home and they're like he does it so though	我仿佛美国总统没有送我回家 他们好像他这么做了
730	That's something like I always remembered and it's it's a boundary and it's just something he imposed	这就像我一直记得的 它是一个界限 只是他强加的东西
731	Throughout the environment I remember thinking wow the president the United States actually sits in I don't want to say control something so minute	在整个环境中,我记得在想... 哇... 美国总统...
732	But something so small	但这么小的东西
733	Can impact or create this ripple effect of the environment that he is trying to cultivate?	他试图培育的这种环境的连锁效应会影响还是产生?
734	Why did you get that job?	你为什么得到那份工作?
735	because	因为
736	when I was reading through the numbers around how many people sort of apply to do the initial training and then	当我读到数字 大约多少人申请 做初始训练,然后
737	How many people ultimately get to be that that close to these major issues	有多少人最终会 接近这些重大问题
738	It seems like very few people get there	看来很少有人到那里
739	Could you quantify that for me?	你能帮我量化一下吗?
740	How many people dropped out during training how many people passed and how many people how like rare is it to get to?	有多少人在训练期间退学 有多少人过世 有多少人像 罕见是得到的?
741	The position that you got to so they spend like tens of thousands of dollars	你得到的职位,所以他们花 像数万美元
742	Maybe even a hundred and hundred K by that time you get hired on you so to understand how they select you	你被雇的时候,甚至一百块也行 这样就明白他们是怎么挑选你的
743	Once you get	一旦你获得
744	Selected like you've gone through a rigorous process	被选中就像你经历了一个严格的过程
745	So for example I start in the NYPD when I went in it was 1500 of us and people would just quit left and right	举个例子,我从纽约警局开始... ...我进去的时候,我们有1500人... ...而人们就会退出左右
746	And they wanted you to quit when I went to the US Secret Service Academy	我上美国特勤学院的时候 他们希望你辞职
747	At that point it was like 54 of us, but you were hand selected	那时候我们有54个人,但你是被选中的
748	So when you apply and I think they only take 1% of all applications that they get which is like	所以当你申请的时候 我认为他们只能接受1%的 申请,就像
749	It's easier to get into Harvard than it isn't to get into the service so out of all the applications	更方便进入哈佛大学 而不是进入服务 所以所有的应用
750	They only you only select 1% to even look at	他们只选1%看
751	Then they decide okay.	然后他们决定好。
752	I'm gonna put this person through the process then they make you fill in all this paperwork Steven	我要让这个人经历这个过程 然后他们让你填满所有的文件 史蒂芬
753	I can't even tell you the amount of weeks.	我甚至不能告诉你周数。
754	It took me right essays.	花了我正确的论文。
755	How are you gonna handle problems?	你怎么处理问题?
756	Hey?	糑
757	They'll give you problem scenarios	他们会给你带来麻烦的情景
758	And they'll say you have this problem.	他们会说你有这个问题。
759	How would you handle this and it'll give you like you've been here	你怎么处理这件事,它会给你 像你已经在这里
760	What would you do here, and they have you write out essays and break down what you would do then your paperwork	你会在这里做什么, 他们让你写散文 并分解你会做什么,然后你的文件
761	So they take your paperwork	所以他们收了你的文件
762	They go through all that stuff then they do	他们通过所有的东西,然后他们做
763	Background checks on you criminal checks background checks they talk to all your neighbors	你的背景调查 刑事调查 背景调查 他们跟你所有邻居谈话
764	when I	当我
765	Was in the u.s.	当时在欧州
766	When I was applying I had studied overseas when I was in college and one of the semesters	当我申请的时候,我在大学和学期的一个学期 在海外学习过
767	I did abroad was in Italy	我出国是在意大利
768	They sent an agent to Italy to speak to my college professor in Rome to ask him what kind of student I was	他们派了一名经纪人到意大利 跟我在罗马的大学教授谈话 问他我是什么学生
769	So they do such an invasive look into you you do a polygraph you take a written test	所以他们这么入侵性地调查你 你做测谎 你做笔试
770	It's called the TEA exam.	名为TEA考试.
771	I think they've changed it, but it was like in the u.s.	我想他们已经改了, 但就像在U.
772	It's like they call it the SATs.	这就像他们称之为SAT。
773	It was the SATs on steroids that thing was so hard	是类固醇上的SAT 那东西太难了
774	I thought for sure I failed it.	我以为我肯定失败了
775	I was like there's no way I passed this thing	我仿佛没有办法通过这东西
776	I squeaked through that and there's all these things so by the time you get	我冲过去,有这些东西 所以当你得到的时候
777	Offered they give you it's a conditional offer of employment.	他们给了你一个有条件的就业机会
778	Evie you've passed everything	Evie,你已经通过一切
779	so we're gonna let you try to go to training and then if you pass that then you go on probation for	所以,我们会让你尝试去训练 然后如果你通过了,然后你去缓刑
780	Like I think it's three years and then you're good then you're truly in	就像我认为这是三年 然后,你很好,然后你真的在
781	But they by the time you get to this process where you're actually going to training because they've dumped so much money in you	但当你进入这个过程时,他们实际上要接受培训, 因为他们把这么多的钱丢在你身上
782	They want you're at that point where you're typically going to get through it	他们希望你进入你通常要经历的阶段
783	Because they don't want you to quit because they've dropped a lot of money on you	因为他们不想你辞职 因为他们对你投了很多钱
784	So at that point they've really invested in you because they believe that you can	那时他们真的投资你 因为他们相信你们可以
785	Meet the standards and be part of a culture that they want so it is hard	达到标准,成为他们想要的文化的一部分 所以很难
786	But they do kick people out it happens all the time	但他们确实把人赶出去 总是这样
787	What is it about you then if you reflect in hindsight now and go the reason I got through all of that is because I am	如果你现在反省一下 想想我经历这一切的原因
788	I didn't know any better.	我当时还不知道
789	I didn't know any better not to apply.	我不知道有什么更好的不申请。
790	I didn't know any better to know that it's 98%	我不知道有什么更好的 知道这是98%
791	Men I didn't know any better to think that I couldn't do it	男人们,我不知道 认为我不能做到这一点
792	My night my my naiveness as a young woman or girl	我小时候的天真
793	That's what helped me get to that job.	这就是帮助我找到那份工作的原因。
794	I didn't think about it.	我没想过
795	I was like, why not?	我当时想,为什么不呢?
796	What were they looking for?	他们在找什么?
797	They look for a lot of different things	他们在找很多不同的东西
798	I will tell you unequivocally they look for	我会毫不含糊地告诉你他们在找
799	Trustworthiness if you line your stuff and they catch you which later on I became one of their polygraph examiners and my job became	信得过,如果你把东西排好 他们抓住你 我后来成了他们的测谎员 我的工作成了
800	I became the person to see if you were	我成为了一个人 看你是否
801	Trustworthy if you had lied to us.	如果你骗了我们 值得信任
802	I was like the last layer of defense	我就像最后的防守层
803	That was a big thing integrity is a big thing because their mindset was if you can lie about your application form	这是一件大事 正直是一件大事 因为他们的心态是 如果你可以说谎 关于你的申请表
804	Or something that happened to you when you're 1920 or something dumb you did	或是你1920岁时发生的事 或者你做过的蠢事
805	Then you're gonna lie to us about anything because it is like if you can't own up to your stuff	那你会对我们撒谎的 就像你不能拥有你的东西
806	You're gonna make mistakes here and we can't trust you	你会犯错的 我们不能相信你
807	So integrity is a massive thing the other thing that really like they call it BQ ways, but better qualified applicants	所以正直是另一回事 他们称之为BQ方式 但更合格的申请人
808	That's what you get when they don't want you like hey, we have better qualified applicants that competitive wise	这就是你得到的 当他们不想你喜欢嘿嘿, 我们有更好的资格 申请人,有竞争力的明智
809	Drugs was a big thing	毒品是个大问题
810	people using like so drugs played a big role when people had a lot of usage that would be or	吸毒的人 扮演了重要的角色 当人们有 大量使用,这将是或
811	When I got on it was like barely nothing	当我得到它就像几乎什么都没有
812	That would be a quick thing to get you disqualified	这样会很快被取消资格的
813	because obviously	因为很明显
814	We were crime criminal cases.	我们是犯罪刑事案件
815	So if I'm working a counterfeit case criminal criminals don't really stay in one lane	所以,如果我在做假冒案 罪犯不会真正停留在一条路上
816	They do counterfeit money and they do drugs and they do other things	他们做假钱 做毒品 还有别的事
817	So they have to know that you can work these cases and they don't have to worry about you	所以他们必须知道你可以办这些案子 他们不必担心你
818	You said you were working in as an interrogator	你说你是审讯员
819	I read that you traveled the world for roughly about eight years for the Secret Service doing	我读到,你旅行世界 大约八年 特勤局做
820	polygraph tests and conducting interrogations as a polygraph examiner	作为测谎员进行测谎和审讯
821	You're trying to figure out if people are lying.	你试图找出 人们在撒谎。
822	You've got a machine in front of you, right?	你有一台机器在你面前,对不对?
823	That's telling you giving you a bunch of readings and data on what's going on physiologically inside their body	这说明你给了你很多关于 他们体内生理状况的读数和数据
824	But then also, you know in interrogations	但是,你也知道在审讯中
825	But as a polygraph examiner, you're looking at them and you must have a bit of a	但作为测谎员,你在看他们,你一定有一点
826	Sort of hunch based on like pattern recognition when you're looking at their body and how they're behaving	某种直觉,基于像模式识别 当你看着他们的身体 和他们的行为
827	Do you think you can predict or do you think you can now?	你觉得你能预测还是现在能预测?
828	Tell if someone's lying to you or if they're being dishonest	说有人在骗你 还是不诚实
829	It happens a lot when you speak to people you can I guess you can look at it this way	当你和别人说话的时候,事情经常发生 我猜你可以这样看
830	You can figure out who's full of BS and who isn't	你可以找出谁是BS的,谁不是
831	One you feel it.	一个你感觉到它。
832	I think your intuition is a huge thing and	我认为你的直觉是一件大事
833	We dismiss it two people show you you create baselines on people	我们开除了两个人 让你知道你们为人们创造基线
834	So if I sit and I speak to someone and the whole time they're speaking like when you talk Steven	所以如果我坐着和某人说话 他们一直说话 就像你说话史蒂芬
835	Most of your hands are usually here.	你的手通常在这里。
836	You'll go on the iPad you do this.	你会在iPad 你做到这一点。
837	That's your baseline, right?	这是你的基线,对不对?
838	You do a lock eye contact.	你做一个锁眼接触。
839	I've got Steven, right?	我有史蒂芬,对不对?
840	Now let's say I ask you later question and maybe it's a question you don't like right?	说不定你不喜欢这个问题呢?
841	I ask you like tell me about your employees at work or tell me about the most difficult employee you had and how did you	我问你喜欢告诉我 关于你的员工 在工作或告诉我 关于最困难的员工 你是如何
842	Deal with it and it's something maybe that affects you.	处理它,也许它的东西 影响你。
843	You don't want to talk about it	你不想谈这个
844	You don't want to be honest with me.	你不想对我说实话
845	You might be like, you know, I mean and you look down I'm like well	你可能喜欢,你知道,我的意思是,你 低头看 我像好
846	You know, I'll see a shift this whole time.	你知道,我会看到一个换班 这整个时间。
847	I'm talking to Steven.	我在跟史蒂芬说话
848	He's locked in with me.	他跟我关在一起
849	He's got a certain posture	他有点姿势
850	I asked him this question	我问他这个问题
851	He just showed me something different	他刚刚给我看了一些不同的东西
852	Why?	为什么?
853	That's it.	就这样
854	Why and then now I know to be curious that when you're done asking or answering my question	为什么现在我知道好奇 当你问完或回答我的问题
855	I come in with good follow-up questions because you're showing me something is happening here	我带了好后续问题进来 因为你告诉我这里有事发生
856	Well, most people don't do Steven is they see something it registers and they let it go	好吧,大多数人不做史蒂文是 他们看到的东西 它登记,他们放走了它
857	They don't follow up to with another question and then another question and then another question	他们不会再问另一个问题 然后又问另一个问题
858	You don't want to be nosy, but you want to be	你不想多管闲事,但你想成为
859	curious	好奇点
860	Who's the greatest liar you ever met?	你见过最伟大的骗子是谁?
861	Can you recall an instance of meeting someone who was just a really great liar?	你能记得一个遇到一个骗子的例子吗?
862	I had this one guy he was doing it wasn't a big scam, but he was doing ATM fraud	我有一个家伙,他正在做 它不是一个大的骗局, 但他正在做自动取款机欺诈
863	so, you know how you go to the ATMs and you	所以,你知道怎么去 自动取款机和你
864	You you go you put in your card you take out money	你走,你把卡 你拿钱
865	So he was going on to the ATMs and he would put us on a skimming device	所以他要去自动取款机 然后把我们放在滑雪装置上
866	This is a very I don't want to put a very primitive way to steal money	我不想用这种原始的方式偷钱
867	So he would put on his own skimmer on the ATM	所以他会自己在自动取款机上放滑板
868	So when you swipe your card, you're swiping it on his skimmer.	所以,当你刷你的卡, 你刷它在他的滑板。
869	So it captures all the info	所以它能捕捉到所有的信息
870	So this guy was just kind of like very low-level basic criminal	所以,这家伙只是那种 像非常低级 基本罪犯
871	He's going around to the all the ATMs in Brooklyn and he's doing this skimming device	他要去布鲁克林所有的自动取款机 做这个滑雪装置
872	So on the ATMs they take photos of you so I've got a photo of this guy I've got him	所以在自动取款机上 他们拍你的照片 所以我有一张他的照片
873	He's got his hat on I think it was like a New York Knicks hat at the time	他戴着他的帽子 我想当时就像纽约尼克斯的帽子
874	He's got his hat on I've got his full frontal	他戴着帽子 我戴着他的头盔
875	We found the guy we matched the prints to the prints on the ATM.	我们找到那个把指纹和自动取款机上的指纹匹配的人了
876	Boom.
877	I've got my guy got my photo	我有我的人有我的照片吗?
878	This is easy day.	今天很轻松
879	I put him in the interview room.	我把他放在面试室里
880	I sit him down	我让他坐下
881	Hey, you know, I want to talk to you about this first.	嘿,你知道,我想先和你谈谈这个。
882	I do like a rapport building.	我喜欢搭配楼
883	What's your name?	你叫什么来着?
884	Where you from talk to me super nice super nice guy.	你跟我说话的地方,超级好人。
885	Yes, ma'am.	是,长官
886	Okay, ma'am, you know, and he was from another country	好吧,夫人,你知道, 他是来自另一个国家
887	I remember so we're talking he's looking to me.	我记得我们是在谈他找我
888	Yes, and he's very very um wants to help me	是的,他非常想帮我
889	Yes, I want to help you and I'm so you know, yes, of course like very cooperative overly cooperative	是的,我想帮助你 我让你知道,是的,当然 就像非常合作 过度合作
890	so that's my red flag and this guy's trying too hard and	这是我的红旗 这家伙太努力了
891	So I want to ask you about this ATM scam.	所以我想问你 关于这个自动取款机的骗局。
892	Oh, no, I don't know anything.	哦,不,我不知道任何东西。
893	I don't know anything	我一无所知
894	I'm like, no, how about here and I just start revealing a couple of things and I've got my photo in my background	我很喜欢,不,怎么样 在这里,我刚开始 揭示一些事情,我有我的照片 在我的背景
895	I'm like, I'm gonna bust out this photo.	и璶р硂眎酚叉奔
896	This guy's gonna be like, yep.	这家伙会像,是啊。
897	That's me.	这就是我。
898	Sorry	对不起
899	So as I'm doing this I'm hitting a wall.	所以,当我这样做的时候,我打墙。
900	No, no, no, I'm sorry mom.	不,不,不,对不起妈妈。
901	I wish I could help you	我希望我能帮你
902	No, no, no, so I got the photo of the guy	不,不,不,所以我得到了那个家伙的照片
903	Do you know he showed up to my interview wearing the same hat and I'm thinking I'm locked I'm tight	你知道他来我的采访 戴着同样的帽子 我觉得我被锁住了 我紧
904	Pull out the photo and I'm like, oh, yeah, then what's this?	把照片拿出来,我就像, 哦,是的,然后这是什么?
905	Put it down on the table.	放下来
906	He looks at it.	他看着它。
907	Oh, yeah, that's me	哦,是的,这是我
908	Looks like me.	看起来像我。
909	But yeah, I could see it.	但我看得出来
910	No, it's not me	不,这不是我
911	It was him I got he mean nothing nothing	是他,我得到了他 没有什么意义
912	You know, I will never forget him.	我永远不会忘记他
913	Just great liar.	只是伟大的骗子。
914	Most people waver this not not this guy.	大多数人都在动摇,不是这个人
915	He was locked tight	他被锁紧了
916	He's stuck to that story never give a confession	他一直坚持这个故事 从来不认罪
917	Thankfully, we had enough to charge him.	幸好我们有足够的钱指控他
918	I mean it was ATM fraud, but	我的意思是,这是ATM欺诈,但
919	No, look at me.	不,看着我。
920	I'm sorry.	对不起
921	And you know one of the things people would do	你知道人们会做的事之一
922	Doesn't	没有
923	Doesn't mean that people are always lying when they do this	不代表人们总是在撒谎
924	But one of the things I would see a lot of guilty people do and he did this like I swear to God	但其中一件事,我会看到 很多有罪的人做的, 他这样做 就像我向上帝发誓
925	I swear to God God is my witness God knows that's not me	我向上帝发誓是我的见证 天知道这不是我
926	And so we would call a divine intervention whenever you'd hear somebody do that you knew it's like, okay	所以每当你听到有人这么做时 我们就叫神干预
927	There's a problem because it's kind of like you're saying	有一个问题,因为它有点像你在说
928	why do you need God to come in to vouch for you or sometimes we actually have people come in with Bibles or	为什么你需要上帝来担保你 或者有时我们真的有 人进来与圣经或
929	Rosary beads whenever you saw that in the waiting room that person coming in I was like	罗莎莉珠子 当你在候车室看到 那个人进来的时候
930	They'd be like don't even poly them.	他们就像不 连它们。
931	They did it	他们成功了
932	Because they're trying so hard to connect to that.	因为他们很努力地去联系
933	I'm a religious person	我是个虔诚的人
934	I would never do these things and that those were a little red flags	我永远不会做这些事情 那些是有点红旗
935	Of course, I would do my interview, but in my back of my head.	当然,我会做我的采访, 但在我的后脑勺。
936	I'm like you probably did it	и碞钩琌暗
937	What about other things like him?	那他这种人呢?
938	You're very good at keeping eye contact	你对保持联络很在行
939	Yes, is that such a thing as too much eye contact?	是的,这是什么事情 太多的眼睛接触?
940	It depends on the person	要看这个人
941	But I think you also need to be you so I make eye contact	但我认为你也需要成为你 所以我要和眼睛接触
942	Here's the other thing when I make eye contact with you, I show you	还有一件事,当我和你眼神接触时,我给你看
943	One I'm confident in myself	我对自己有信心
944	I also show you I deserve to make eye contact with you that I am relevant and I don't need to look away or hide	我也告诉你,我值得 与你进行眼神接触, 说我是相关的, 我不需要视而不见或隐藏
945	Because I deserve to be here and I deserve to be having a conversation with you	因为我应该在这里 我该和你谈谈
946	Right and that I matter that's one thing and I also convey on authority and confidence	对,而我很重要,这是一件事 我也传达了权威和信心
947	You don't have to say anything to people you show them.	你不必对别人说什么 你给他们看。
948	I look at you	我看着你
949	I'm comfortable to look at you, but I can also show you warmth, right?	我很愿意看你 但我也可以给你看温暖 对吧?
950	I can connect with you and engage with you and be present and listen to you	我可以跟你联系,和你接触, 在场,听你的
951	The other thing eye contact does it also sends the message to you that you matter to me	另一件事是眼睛接触 也传达给你 你对我很重要的信息
952	That I'm here and that I am present with you and that I'm listening to you that I see you	我在这里,我与你同在, 我听你,我看到你
953	And that I want to try to understand you so eye contact is wonderful because it does	我想试着理解你 所以眼睛接触是美妙的,因为它做到了
954	Two things it makes you real feel relevant and it makes me	有两件事让你觉得很贴切 让我觉得
955	Relevant also that I'm relevant enough	与此相关,我有足够的关联性
956	To sit here and look at you when I speak and it's another way to convey my authority without having to tell you	坐在这看着你 当我说话, 这是另一种方式 传达我的权力,而不必告诉你
957	Hey, you know what?	嘿,你知道吗?
958	I'm in charge.	我负责
959	I need to tell you I show you what about	我要告诉你,我给你看什么
960	Body language, you know, cuz I'm thinking about people that I know that are particularly low in self-esteem and they struggle with eye contact	身体语言,你知道,因为我想到的人,我知道 那是特别低的自尊, 他们挣扎与眼睛接触
961	but then also sometimes	但有时
962	They it's almost like they make themselves smaller in their in their body language and stuff like that	他们几乎就像在身体语言中 使自己变小一样
963	I was just thinking like I	我只是在想 就像我一样
964	Guess what?	你猜怎么着?
965	I'm thinking here is can I trick myself?	我想在这里我可以欺骗自己吗?
966	Can I trick myself and other people into thinking I'm confident if I'm not is	我可以欺骗自己和其他人 认为我有信心 如果我不是
967	You know because there's all this stuff about like the Superman posture where you can kind of make yourself bigger and look in people's eyes	你知道,因为有所有这些东西 像超人姿势 你可以使自己变大 看着人们的眼睛
968	But when I reflect on my early years when I was least confident	但当我回想我的早年 当我最不自信的时候
969	for some reason I	不知为什么我
970	couldn't	没办法
971	Get anyone I was pursuing	找到我所追求的任何人
972	So I remember there was these five girls that I over the over the course of about since I was from 14 to I'd say	所以我记得我从14岁到14岁 经历了这五个女孩
973	23 that I was really into all five of them weren't interested in me that we would like we'd get a little bit	23,我真的很喜欢他们所有五个人 对我不感兴趣,我们希望我们得到一点点
974	Far down the line.	远在下行.
975	So there was like a little bit of sort of initial	所以,有像一点点 排序的初始
976	Interest but then I would always lose them and I never knew why I never knew why but in but then it changed at about	但后来我总是失去他们 我不知道为什么我永远不知道为什么...
977	24 and it doesn't correlate to like money or success	24岁,跟钱或成功无关
978	Necessarily it correlates to my opinion of myself and it was almost like magic when I look back and I thought fucking hell	这必然与我对自己的看法有关 当我回头看时 感觉就像魔法一样
979	Like I got rejected over and over and over again	就像我一次又一次地被拒绝一样
980	And when I got to the point that I actually believed that I was good enough, even though I read all the books	当我说到 我真正相信自己足够好, 虽然我读了所有的书
981	I read up all the pickup artistry books.	我读了所有的皮卡画书。
982	I read the game.	我读了游戏。
983	I read all of these books	我读了所有这些书
984	I had the tips tactics and tricks to fake it	我用小费和小把戏来装
985	But I but it wasn't until I genuinely believed that I was high value that I had	但是直到我真正相信 我拥有的价值
986	real success with	实际成功
987	The opposite sex and so it left me with this feeling that you can read all the tips the tricks that I contact the body language	异性恋给我留下了这种感觉 你可以读到所有的提示 我接触身体语言的技巧
988	But maybe none of it works because there's a thousand other nonverbal micro expressions that are communicating your low value	但也许这些都行不通 因为还有一千个非言语的微表达
989	You don't believe in yourself	你不相信自己的话
990	You're not worthy that overpower that that we can't really control and the reason it changed at 24 25 26 27 is	你配不上我们无法真正控制的强权 以及24 25 26 27改变的原因
991	Because I genuinely felt like I was good enough for them	因为我真的觉得自己适合他们
992	Like so, you know	像这样,你知道的
993	This is why I reflect on this idea of like I know people would click podcasts like this because they want the tips the tricks	这就是为什么我思考这个想法 像我知道人们会点击播客 像这样,因为他们想要小费和技巧
994	They want to get from a to Z in three seconds	他们想在三秒内从一到二
995	No	没有
996	they want to get for they want to get from low confident low self-esteem all that to	他们想要得到 他们希望从 低自信 低自尊 所有这一切
997	At the altar with a king then they want to do it	和国王在祭坛上,他们想这么做
998	they want to know how to do it in the space of this conversation so they can end this conversation and	他们想知道如何在这场对话中做到这一点 这样他们就可以结束这场对话
999	Walk down the aisle tomorrow with their Prince charming	明天带着他们迷人的王子走下过道
1000	That's what people want they want to solve complex things with short simple solutions	这就是人们想要的 他们想用简单的解决方案解决复杂问题
1001	Doesn't exist.	不存在。
1002	I know this because I know that if I titled this book like if you title a podcast	我知道这一点,因为我知道,如果我 标题这本书像 如果你标题播客
1003	Six-pack abs in seven minutes people are gonna go better	7分钟后6包腹肌就会更好
1004	But if you titled it six pack abs in three years of work and diet restriction fucking no one's gonna click	但是如果你在三年的工作和饮食限制中 给它命名6包腹肌... ...他妈的没有人会点击
1005	You know and it's the same thing for here enough and I'm often wondering like how how does someone change the core of themselves	你知道,这是同样的事情 在这里足够, 我经常想 像如何改变自己的核心
1006	Whether it's as a leader a manager in a relationship that very core of you because in my life	无论是作为领导者 在一个关系 和你非常核心 因为在我的生活中
1007	It was actually just this like a long grueling process of building myself.	实际上,这就像一个漫长的艰难过程 建设我自己。
1008	It was at the like retiring from	这就像退休了
1009	caring so much about	这么关心
1010	Actually getting any of these people and just building up this real	实际上,他们中的任何一个人 并且只是建立这个真正的
1011	Internal fortress and then everything else took care the body language the eye contact the way I walk into a room	内部的堡垒,然后其他一切 照顾身体语言 眼睛接触的方式 我走进一个房间
1012	It all took care of itself and you know, but it doesn't sell books that like there's no one's gonna buy that book	都照顾好自己,你知道的,但它不卖书 像没有人会买那本书
1013	You know what though it is all the little things we do that help us get there.	你知道什么,虽然这是所有的小事情 我们做的帮助我们到达那里。
1014	There's no magic thing	没有魔法
1015	That's why you're like it took me time and what it was is all the little things along the lines that that came	这就是为什么你喜欢它 花了我的时间,是什么 它是所有的小事情 沿着这条线,来了
1016	It's there's no magic thing people could sometimes come to me	没有魔法,有时候人们会来找我
1017	They're like every what's the secret and I tell them there's no secret	他们就像每一个秘密 我告诉他们没有秘密
1018	The change that you want in your life.	你生活中想要的改变
1019	It's all the little things that you do	这是所有的小事情,你做
1020	It's like think of it like compound interest, right?	这就像把它像 复合利息,对不对?
1021	I do this and then I add this layer and then this layer and then this layer and there's this layer	我这样做,然后我加这个层 然后这个层,然后这个层,还有这个层
1022	It's like the sheets of paper you put one sheet.	就像你放的一张纸
1023	It's light two sheets are light three sheets	是两张是三张
1024	But you put a thousand sheets now you've got weight.	但你现在有一千张床单了
1025	That's how we are	我们就是这样
1026	We're layers and we have to add to those layers.	我们都是层,我们必须增加这些层。
1027	There's no quick thing, you know when you know, you're gonna get there	没有什么快事,你知道 当你知道,你会得到那里
1028	When you're sovereign	当你拥有主权时
1029	When you feel like I don't need anybody	当你觉得我不需要任何人时
1030	It's wonderful to have human beings around me and I think connection is it's it's it's wonderful	有人类在我身边真好 我觉得联系是美妙的
1031	But if your goal is I need someone to complete me you're done	但如果你的目标是我需要有人来完成我 你就完了
1032	And I think also it's a while because I'm thinking about my youth as you're talking about yours when I became sovereign	我想也是因为我在思考我的青春 当你在谈论你的,当我成为君主时
1033	Like where I'm like, I'm good enough.	就像我喜欢的地方,我足够好。
1034	I'm good as I am	我和现在一样好
1035	You become a magnet I became a magnet people like well I wanted that I want to be around that	你变成磁铁 我变成磁铁人 就像我想要的
1036	I want to be around her	我想陪着她
1037	Everywhere people like how do you it's like because I believe in me	到处都有你这样的人 因为我相信我
1038	But it took time to believe in me and when you became sovereign	但你需要时间相信我 当你成为君主
1039	Yes, everyone was just like but how did your behavior change those micro behaviors?	是的,每个人都只是喜欢 但你的行为是如何改变这些微观行为的?
1040	I stopped chasing things and chasing people.	我停止了追逐事物和追逐人们。
1041	Yeah, I stopped looking for approval.	是啊,我不再寻求批准。
1042	I stopped trying to people please	我不再试着找别人了
1043	Right, and I just I trusted myself.	对,我只是相信自己
1044	I also stopped taking inventory from everybody	我也不再向大家收取存货
1045	Asking everybody their opinion and I also though	问每个人的意见 我也一样
1046	But I also had I dealt with a lot of rejection a lot of like rejection a lot of people not agreeing with me	但我也面对过很多的拒绝 就像拒绝 很多人不同意我
1047	I gossip growing up.	我长大了八卦
1048	There was a lot.	有很多东西
1049	I took a lot of heavy hits and those things made me resilient	我承受了很多重击 那些东西让我恢复力
1050	Those things taught me to like not	那些东西教会我不喜欢
1051	You know	你知道吗
1052	To stay my course like you know, and i've shared this before but when I became an agent	就像你所知道的 我之前分享过 但当我成为特工时
1053	I put in front of ypd	我让艾比面前
1054	The community of friends and people I had around me thought it was ridiculous.	我身边的朋友和人们都觉得这很可笑
1055	They thought I was silly.	他们觉得我很傻
1056	I remember after	我记得后来
1057	When I started dating after I became an agent there was one guy a friend of mine's a good friend of mine's brother	当我成为经纪人后开始约会时 有一个朋友是我哥哥的好朋友
1058	She was trying to hook me up with him.	她想勾引我和他在一起
1059	This is before my husband.	这是摆在我丈夫面前的
1060	My husband knows everything and uh	我丈夫知道一切,呃... ... . .
1061	So i'm like, all right, you know, he was a nice greek guy.	所以我想,好吧,你知道, 他是一个不错的希腊人。
1062	I'm greek	我是希腊语
1063	I'm saying i'm keeping it in the community because you're supposed to	我是说我把它留在社区里 因为你应该
1064	um, so i'm talking to him and i'm like yeah and i'm thinking like I went through	嗯,所以我跟他说话 我像是的,我想像我经历了
1065	So much to become a special agent with the u.s secret service and you know, he said to me he's like	要成为特勤局的特工 他对我说
1066	So, uh, like when you get married are you gonna quit that job and you know ditch this	所以,呃,就像当你结婚 你会退出那份工作 你知道这个
1067	I mean like how long are you gonna do this like he spoke about it like it was nothing like it was trivial	我的意思是,你要多久 做到这一点,就像他谈到它 像它没有像 这是微不足道的
1068	And I heard that and I was just like wait what?	我听到了,我就像 等待什么?
1069	it's like dude you couldn't get into the secret service if like	就像你无法进入特勤局一样
1070	Like with your like there's no like with all your might	像你这样,没有像你一样的力量
1071	And when he was like said that to me and his job he owned a diner and he won't he owned a diner food	当他这样对我和他的工作说的时候 他拥有一家餐馆 他不会拥有一家餐馆的食物
1072	His success was wealth and money and some cultures including mine and the community I was in they they measured success with money	他的成功是财富和金钱 以及包括我和社区在内的一些文化 他们用金钱衡量成功
1073	Like what I was doing was not successful	就像我所做的那样,没有成功
1074	But I had the ability to be sovereign enough to like not listen.	但我有能力拥有主权 足以不听话
1075	I was just like no, that's not my belief system my moral compass	我只是不,这不是我的信仰体系 我的道德指南针
1076	and um	还有...
1077	I stopped caring then I dated another guy who knew I was in the secret service.	我不再关心了 然后我和另一个知道自己在特勤局的人约会了
1078	I really like this guy	我真的很喜欢这家伙
1079	I was this italian kid	我是一个意大利孩子
1080	And i'm thinking he's gonna be so proud of me I got in and we went on this date and he had just broken up	我想他一定会为我骄傲的 我进去了,我们去约会 他刚刚分手了
1081	with someone	和别人
1082	Steven like	史蒂文喜欢
1083	He was so uncomfortable around me.	他让我很不舒服
1084	Why?	为什么?
1085	And I'm thinking he's gonna be so proud of me. I got in and we went on this date and he had just broken up with someone	我想他会为我骄傲的 我进去了,我们去 约会,他刚刚分手的人
1086	Because I was an agent.	因为我是经纪人
1087	I was like a freak show.	我就像一个怪胎秀。
1088	It was weird.	这很奇怪。
1089	I think today's a little different maybe at that time.	我认为今天可能有点不一样
1090	Do you think men struggle with strong women?	你觉得男人会和强壮的女人斗争吗?
1091	I think certain men do.	我想某些人会的
1092	I think men who are not confident in themselves,	我认为男人谁不自信自己,
1093	if you're steady, you don't care what somebody else is.	如果你是稳的,你不在乎 别人是什么。
1094	You're cheering for them.	你为他们欢呼
1095	I ended up dating an agent and marrying him.	我最后和一个经纪人约会并嫁给了他
1096	So because my husband's so steady and sovereign in himself,	所以,因为我丈夫是如此稳定 和主权自己,
1097	I could do whatever.	我什么都做得到 随便你
1098	And he'd be like, you go.	他会说,你去。
1099	You had your first child at 45 years old.	你45岁时生了第一个孩子
1100	I had my daughter at 40, excuse me, 46.	我40岁就生了我女儿,46岁
1101	My daughter's 18 months old.	我女儿才18个月大
1102	Your daughter gets to 18.	你女儿才18岁
1103	Yeah.	对
1104	And she just can't get out of bed.	她只是不能从床上下来。
1105	She's lazy.	她很懒
1106	She's blaming the world.	她责怪世界。
1107	She's saying, listen, this person's fault	她说,听着,这个人的错
1108	and this person's fault and I just can't be bothered.	和这个人的错,我就是不烦。
1109	Where'd you start?	你从哪里开始的?
1110	Well, look, if I've done a good job	如果我做得很好的话
1111	and my husband and I have done a good job,	我丈夫和我做了一件好事,
1112	and again, it's not 100% us,	再说一遍,我们不是100%的
1113	we should have hopefully by that point	我们希望到那时
1114	put in certain structures in place to prevent that.	建立某些机构来防止这种情况。
1115	I'll give you a small example.	举小譬.
1116	I've never put an iPhone in front of her.	我从来没有在她面前放过iPhone.
1117	I have no working television in my house	我家里没有电视
1118	because I control what she absorbs, not the internet.	因为我控制了她吸收的东西 而不是互联网
1119	And I'm gonna hold onto that as long as possible	我会尽可能坚持下去
1120	because I've seen what these cell phones,	因为我看过这些手机
1121	I'm a grown ass adult and I'll look at stuff	我长大成人了,我会看东西
1122	and it impacts me and I'm like, I can't look at this	它影响我,我就像,我不能看这个
1123	or I'll unfollow things or I'll go off social.	不然我就不听话,否则我就去社交
1124	I don't wanna see it.	我不想看见它。
1125	I cover news, I cover crime, child.	我报道新闻,我报道犯罪,孩子。
1126	I cover really heinous things	我覆盖了非常令人发指的事情
1127	and there are times where I do the news.	有时我也会做新闻
1128	I do the news, Steven, I don't watch it.	我做新闻 史蒂芬 我不看
1129	So there are little things that I can do.	所以有些小事我可以做。
1130	So up until this point, 18 months,	18个月前
1131	it's a lot more work for me and my family.	对我和我的家人来说 还有很多工作
1132	There's no social device, there's no cell phone.	没有社交设备,也没有手机.
1133	I control that.	我控制着这个
1134	I kinda look at it, I wanna know what's feeding her mind.	我有点看它, 我想知道什么是喂她的心。
1135	The way I choose to make her food,	我选择给她做饭的方式
1136	I choose what goes in the mind, I control it.	我选择思想,控制它
1137	And a lot of parents will come to me and I'll tell them,	很多父母会来找我 我会告诉他们
1138	if you're not comfortable dropping your kid	如果你不想放下你的孩子的话
1139	in the middle of Times Square to talk to whoever,	在时代广场中央 与任何人交谈,
1140	then you get that thing out of their hands	然后你把那个东西从他们手中拿开
1141	because now somebody else is putting ideas	因为现在有人在想
1142	in your kid's head.	在你孩子的头上。
1143	I have no control over that, zero.	我无法控制,零。
1144	And that's powerful.	这很有力
1145	That's one, and especially we see it affect little girls.	这是其中之一,尤其是我们看到它 影响小女孩。
1146	And again, I'm a grown woman and social media impacts me	再说一次,我是成年人,社交媒体影响我
1147	and the moment I'm like, I put that thing away.	当我喜欢的时候,我把那东西收起来。
1148	That's one, no TV in my house because TV is like,	那是一,没有电视在我家 因为电视就像,
1149	when I was a kid, you had cartoons Saturday morning,	当我还是个孩子的时候 你周六早上有漫画
1150	that was it, and you had to wait for those cartoons.	就是这样,你不得不等待那些漫画。
1151	I mean, I was like, tomorrow are cartoons.	我的意思是,我就像, 明天是漫画。
1152	So this instant gratification process that kids have,	所以,这个即时的满足过程 孩子们有,
1153	that's why you hear like, help me get to hear fast.	所以你才会听到 帮我快速听到
1154	She's never gonna learn how to work hard.	她永远不会学会如何努力工作。
1155	She's gonna be lazy, she's gonna lay in bed,	她会很懒,会躺在床上
1156	she's gonna get depressed quicker,	她会越来越沮丧,
1157	she's gonna have anxiety.	她会有焦虑。
1158	So I'm doing everything I can to impact those things.	所以我尽力去影响那些东西
1159	They're little seeds, it's little things	他们是小种子,是小东西
1160	so that by the time she's 18, I hope in my heart,	所以在她18岁的时候 我希望在我心里
1161	I have done my best.	我已经尽力了。
1162	But I also understand I'm 50%, she's 50%.	但我也明白我50%,她50%。
1163	So as much as I try to help navigate her,	所以,尽管我试图 帮助导航她,
1164	she's gonna be her own person.	她会是她自己的人。
1165	Now I'm gonna have to listen,	现在我必须听
1166	understand what her value systems are,	了解她的价值系统是什么,
1167	what she cares about, but her exposure to them is real.	她所关心的, 但她接触他们是真实的。
1168	I regulate that, even the school she's gonna go to.	我规定,即使学校 她要去。
1169	I sit there, I'm already thinking about	我坐在那里,我已经在想
1170	where I'm gonna put her to school.	我要把她送去学校
1171	And I'm like, do I want her in a public school?	我想让她上公立学校吗?
1172	I don't know.	师曰.
1173	I don't want her being like, mom,	我不想让她像,妈妈,
1174	I want a Gucci belt and labels and all this stuff.	我要Gucci带和标签 还有这些东西
1175	I was like, I don't want her to think like that.	我想,我不想她那样想。
1176	I want her to have a different mindset.	我希望她有一个不同的心态。
1177	I'm like, so I'm creating in my head, how do I do that?	我像,所以我创造在我的脑海里, 我如何做到这一点?
1178	Another thing I do, super small,	还有一件事我做,超级小,
1179	I take her to Greece with me every summer.	我每个夏天都带她去希腊
1180	Do you know where we go in Greece?	你知道我们在希腊去哪里吗?
1181	In the village, village.	在村里,村里。
1182	I'm talking like, bathroom in the back,	我说的就像后面的浴室
1183	hardcore, like, rugging it.	硬核一样, 崎岖它。
1184	My parents grew up in villages.	我父母在村里长大
1185	I grew up in that, I lived in that in the summer.	我在那个地方长大,我住在那个夏天。
1186	June, July, August, September, I was in the village.	六月,七月,八月,九月,我在乡里.
1187	In fact, the bathroom was connected to the chicken coop.	事实上,浴室与鸡舍相连.
1188	Would you let her fly business class?	你会让她坐公务舱吗?
1189	No.	没有
1190	The only time I fly business class	我唯一一次坐公务舱
1191	is when somebody else is paying.	是别人付钱的时候
1192	Because I'm saving my money.	因为我在省钱
1193	Because business class is expensive.	因为商务舱很贵
1194	Because I work really hard and I'm okay to sit in the back.	因为我很努力地工作 坐在后面没事
1195	So business class, there has to be a really good reason	商务舱一定有很好的理由
1196	why I'm gonna dish out the money for business class	为什么我要花钱买商务课
1197	for myself, let alone my daughter.	更别说我女儿了
1198	Economy.	经济。
1199	Economy?	经济?
1200	My poor kid, right?	我可怜的孩子 对吧?
1201	She can grow up on my mic.	她可以在我的麦克风上长大
1202	You can keep all your stuff to yourself.	你可以保持所有的东西自己。
1203	You, one of the things we were chatting about	你,我们聊过的事情之一
1204	before we started recording was that	在我们开始录音之前
1205	your favorite days when you work out, you go to the gym.	你最喜欢的一天 当你工作, 你去健身房。
1206	Why is that so important to you?	你为什么这么重要?
1207	Why is exercise so central to everything	为什么锻炼对一切如此重要
1208	that you do in your mind?	在你的脑海里做?
1209	I think that there's a school of like,	我认为有所学校像,
1210	the mind and the body are two separate things.	心灵和身体是两个独立的事物.
1211	And a lot of people will be like,	很多人会说,
1212	I'm working on my mind, I listen to podcasts,	我在努力工作,听播客说
1213	which is great, but then they don't work out their body.	这是伟大的,但 然后他们不工作 他们的身体。
1214	And these things live together.	这些东西一起生活
1215	I learned this in the Secret Service,	我在特勤局学的
1216	like these things were, they're married.	就像这些东西,他们结婚了。
1217	So if you're depressed and you're not getting off the sofa,	所以如果你很沮丧 而且你不会离开沙发
1218	there's a problem.	有个问题
1219	Your body needs help.	你的身体需要帮助。
1220	I work with, I train now with Don Saladino,	我现在跟萨拉迪诺先生一起训练
1221	even me, with all my experience,	即使我,以我的所有经验,
1222	like sometimes we need somebody to push us.	有时候我们需要有人来推动我们
1223	And accountability is a big thing.	问责制是一件大事。
1224	So I always tell people, if you're struggling,	所以我总是告诉人们,如果你在挣扎,
1225	have somebody be accountable for you.	找人为你负责
1226	Don, who I work with and I train with,	唐,我和谁合作,我训练,
1227	he makes me take a photo of every meal I eat	他让我拍我吃的每一顿饭的照片
1228	and text it to him.	给他发短信
1229	He's like, I wanna see what you're putting in your mouth.	他就像,我想看看你在说什么 在你的嘴。
1230	And every time I'm about to have something that I shouldn't,	每次我要有不该有的东西
1231	I think to myself, I gotta send this to Don.	我自己想,我得把这个寄给唐
1232	So he's gonna police it.	所以他要报警
1233	So having somebody help you is also a good thing,	所以有人帮你也是件好事
1234	but your body is your temple.	但你的身体是你的庙宇。
1235	You get one of these.	你得到一个这个。
1236	We take better care of our cars than we do this.	我们比这更好的照顾我们的车。
1237	And then we wonder, why am I depressed?	然后,我们想知道, 为什么我沮丧?
1238	Because you have to move this, you have to take care of it.	因为你必须移动这个, 你必须照顾它。
1239	Everything in the US Secret Service was about performance.	美国特勤局的一切 都是为了表演
1240	This is your home.	这是你的家
1241	It houses your mind, it houses your soul.	它包含你的思想,它包含你的灵魂。
1242	And we treat it like garbage.	我们把它当垃圾处理
1243	And we give it garbage.	我们给它垃圾。
1244	When I run and I work out at night, all the stress,	当我在晚上跑步和锻炼时 压力很大
1245	unlike any other human being, I accumulate stress,	不像其他任何人, 我积聚的压力,
1246	people's angst, stuff coming at me.	人们的愤怒,东西来了我。
1247	And I need a way to release it.	我需要一个方法释放它。
1248	So at night I go run and I let it out.	所以在晚上,我跑出去,我把它说出来。
1249	There's been times in my life,	我这辈子有好几次了
1250	I could think of two distinct times.	我可以想到两个不同的时间。
1251	I remember once, and I don't remember what it was,	我记得一次,我不记得是什么,
1252	but I had such a stressful, hard day.	但我今天压力很大,很辛苦
1253	Steven, I went to the track to run.	史蒂芬,我去跑马场了
1254	I remember it was freezing, it was winter, it was snowing.	我记得当时很冷,冬天,下雪了
1255	And I was just on the verge of just pure emotion and rage.	而我只是濒临 纯粹的情感和愤怒。
1256	I started running.	我开始跑。
1257	I was talking to myself, I was running,	我自言自语,我跑,
1258	I'm bawling, my eyes are bowling.	我在哭,我的眼睛在保龄球。
1259	I look like a crazy person to the outside world.	我看起来像一个疯狂的人 在外界世界。
1260	But I ran it all out.	但我跑出这一切。
1261	And when I was done, I was back to me.	当我完成的时候,我回到我身边。
1262	The physical element of our body is such an important thing.	我们身体的物理元素是如此重要。
1263	And we treat them as two separate entities.	我们把他们当作两个独立的实体。
1264	And you have to take care of what	你要照顾什么
1265	houses your soul and your mind.	拥有你的灵魂和心灵
1266	You strike me as someone that is pretty fearless.	你把我当成一个无所畏惧的人
1267	I say pretty because I think we all have fear in us.	我说漂亮是因为我觉得我们都有恐惧感
1268	I think fear is a useful, natural emotion.	我认为恐惧是一种有用的自然情感.
1269	But you're someone that clearly has built up	但你是一个显然 积蓄
1270	a more productive relationship with fear than most people.	和恐惧的关系比大多数人更有成果
1271	When you think back of your Secret Service experience,	当你想起你的特勤局经历时
1272	was there a day where you were more scared than another day?	有没有一天你比一天更害怕?
1273	I.e.	即为.
1274	what was the most scared you were	你最害怕的是什麽?
1275	during your time in the Secret Service?	在特勤局工作期间?
1276	You know, I had this one scenario,	你知道,我有一个情景,
1277	and I don't think I ever talked about it.	我不认为我曾经谈论过它。
1278	I'm in downtown Manhattan, I'm with my colleague,	我在曼哈顿市中心 我和同事在一起
1279	and we're driving to a Secret Service meeting.	我们开车去特勤局的会议
1280	We're gonna go arrest somebody the next day,	第二天我们就去抓人
1281	{\fn黑体\fs22\bord1\shad0\3aHBE\4aH00\fscx67\fscy66\2cHFFFFFF\3cH808080}我们正准备去做简报
1282	with this other department.	还有这个部门
1283	We were gonna do our pre-arrest briefing	我们本来要做逮捕前的通报的
1284	about how we're gonna go in tactically.	关于我们如何在战术上去。
1285	So we're driving to this meeting,	所以,我们开车去这个会议,
1286	and as we're going to this meeting,	当我们要去参加这个会议时,
1287	we're in downtown Manhattan.	我们在曼哈顿市中心
1288	Somebody runs out of a, it was a jewelry store.	有人跑出一个, 这是一个珠宝店。
1289	This man runs out of a jewelry store,	这个人从珠宝店跑出来
1290	and these other people are out there running with him,	这些人和他一起跑
1291	and they're yelling.	他们喊着
1292	And they see us, and I guess they realize	他们看见我们,我猜他们意识到
1293	that we were in a police car.	我们当时在警车里
1294	Even though it was undercover, they just stand out.	虽然是卧底的,但他们很突出。
1295	They're like, help, help, get him, get him.	他们喜欢,帮助,帮助, 抓住他,抓住他。
1296	And the way they were acting,	他们的行为,
1297	you'd think somebody shot somebody.	你觉得有人开枪了?
1298	And we can see, as you see them screaming and yelling,	我们可以看到,当你看到他们尖叫和喊叫,
1299	help, help, you see this other person running away.	帮助,帮助,你看到另一个人逃跑。
1300	So my partner flips on the lights.	我的搭档把灯打开了
1301	We start driving, and we're chasing this person.	我们开始开车,我们追着这个人。
1302	Now, I can't see this person.	我看不见这个人
1303	I see their back.	我看到他们的背
1304	They have a hoodie on.	他们戴着连衣帽
1305	They're running.	他们跑了。
1306	From the posture of it, it looked like a male,	从它的姿势看, 它看起来像一个男性,
1307	and it looked like a guy running.	它看起来像一个家伙跑。
1308	So he's running, lights on.	所以他在跑 开灯
1309	We get on the thing, stop running, stop running.	我们开始行动,停止运行,停止运行。
1310	He's not listening to anything.	他什么都没听
1311	He goes, he turns the black.	他去,他转黑色。
1312	We're still chasing him.	我们还在追他
1313	Then he turns into a parking garage.	然后他变成了停车场
1314	In New York City, there's this parking garage,	纽约市有个停车场
1315	and they go all the way underground.	他们一直走在地下
1316	So he turns in.	所以他转身了
1317	So we can't go in with the car.	所以我们不能用车进去
1318	We're going in blind.	入无明.
1319	We pull up, we get ourselves out,	我们拉起来,我们自己出去,
1320	and as we're going in, we're clearing people out.	而当我们进去时,我们正在清除人们。
1321	But you could also see people running out.	但你也能看到人们跑掉
1322	I guess they could tell something was wrong.	我想他们可以发现有问题
1323	People are leaving, and now we're thinking,	人们要离开, 现在我们在想,
1324	does this guy have a gun?	这家伙有枪吗?
1325	Like, what's going on?	像,发生了什么事?
1326	Because people are responding very agitatedly	因为人们的反应非常激动
1327	to the scenario.	到场景。
1328	We go in, we pull everybody out.	我们进去把所有人都拉出来
1329	Everybody get out, get out.	所有人都出去,滚出去
1330	So we go to the bottom level of the parking garage	所以我们去停车场的底层
1331	where we believe he's at.	我们相信他在那里。
1332	Lights are, it's dark.	灯光是,它是黑暗的。
1333	And we go in, police come out, police come out.	我们进去,警察出来,警察出来。
1334	He's not listening.	他没听
1335	We're looking for him underneath all these cars.	我们在车底下找他
1336	And then I see him.	然后见他.
1337	He's underneath the car.	他在车下面
1338	And I go to my partner, I sing it to my partner	我去找我的搭档,唱给我的搭档听
1339	because he's like on the other side.	因为他就像在另一边。
1340	I'm like, hey, I'm like, he's right down.	我像,嘿,我像,他正下来。
1341	He's right there.	他就在这里
1342	Now we can't see him.	现在我们看不到他了
1343	My partner's like, I'm going to go around.	我的搭档说,我要绕过去
1344	So my partner goes around,	所以我的搭档到处走
1345	and he didn't listen to me, my partner.	他没有听我的,我的搭档。
1346	So I blame him a little bit.	所以我有点怪他
1347	He went too prematurely before we kind of figured out	他来得太早了 我们才知道
1348	what was.	本来是什么.
1349	He goes to go grab him from behind.	他从后面去抓他
1350	So now my partner's out in the open.	所以现在我的搭档已经露面了
1351	This guy's out there.	这家伙在外面
1352	I see him.	我看见他了
1353	I don't know if he has a weapon.	我不知道他有没有武器
1354	We have enough to, he ran from us, right?	我们有足够的,他逃离我们,对不对?
1355	So all these things are escalating.	所以所有这些事情都在升级。
1356	Let me see your hands.	让我看看你的手。
1357	Nothing.	没什么
1358	Let me see your hands, put your hands out.	把手伸出来
1359	I can see you.	我能看见你。
1360	I see you under the car.	我看到你在车底下。
1361	Let me see your hands.	让我看看你的手。
1362	Because now I'm worried he's going to shoot my partner	因为我现在担心他会杀了我的搭档
1363	because my partner's out in the open trying to get to him.	因为我的搭档在公开场合试图接近他
1364	Let me see your hands.	让我看看你的手。
1365	So then I pull my gun out and I pointed at him.	然后我拔枪指着他
1366	Let me see your hands.	让我看看你的手。
1367	And I'm thinking, please show your hands	我在想,请举手
1368	because now I'm in this cross between	因为现在我在十字架上
1369	if this guy have a gun and if he has a gun,	如果这家伙有枪 如果他有枪
1370	any second he's going to kill my partner.	他随时都会杀了我的搭档
1371	And I had a choice where I was like, do you shoot?	我有一个选择,我像,你会开枪吗?
1372	Because I think he's going to shoot my partner	因为我觉得他会杀了我的搭档
1373	because he's not showing me his hands and he's fidgeting.	因为他不给我看他的手 而且他正在发疯。
1374	Do I not shoot, give him the benefit of the doubt	我难道不开枪吗?
1375	and then he does shoot my partner	然后他开枪打我的搭档
1376	and now I'm responsible for the death of my partner	现在我要为我搭档的死负责
1377	or if he doesn't have a gun,	或者如果他没有枪,
1378	am I responsible because now I just shot him	我的责任,因为现在我刚刚向他开枪
1379	and he didn't have a gun?	他没有枪?
1380	And you're doing this thing in your head	你脑子里想着这个
1381	and there's no way to win and it's happening in seconds.	并且没有办法赢得它 并且它发生在几秒钟。
1382	I couldn't see his hands.	我看不见他的手。
1383	I chose not to shoot.	我选择不开枪
1384	I'm praying that he doesn't shoot my partner.	我祈祷他不会杀我的搭档
1385	He has no gun.	他没有枪。
1386	He's not showing his hands.	师不展手.
1387	And then I'm like, I'm going to shoot you.	然后,我像,我要杀了你。
1388	Please show your hands, show your hands.	请师举手.
1389	And then my partner goes from behind	然后,我的搭档从后面走
1390	and then the guy's like, fine, fine.	然后这家伙就好像,很好,很好。
1391	He's like, put your gun away.	他就像,把你的枪收起来。
1392	He's screaming.	他尖叫着呢
1393	He puts his hands out.	他把手伸出来。
1394	My partner pulls him up from the back and we get him.	我的搭档把他从后面拉上来 我们抓住他
1395	Then we come around.	然后我们绕过来。
1396	I'm pissed.	我有点生气
1397	I'm so pissed.	我太生气了 我太生气了 我太生气了 I'm so mad.
1398	We sit him down.	我们让他坐下。
1399	We cuff him.	我们把他铐起来。
1400	I pull his hoodie out.	我把他的连衣帽拉出来。
1401	16 year old kid.	16岁的孩子。
1402	I searched his pockets.	我搜了他的口袋。
1403	You know what he did?	你知道他做了什么吗?
1404	He sold one.	他卖了一个。
1405	He stole one of those big gold crosses.	他偷了一个大金十字架
1406	That is all he did.	这就是他所做的一切。
1407	Cause I pulled out his ID.	因为我拿出了他的身份证。
1408	I checked his ID.	我检查了他的身份证。
1409	I was like, do you know I almost shot you for this?	我当时想,你知道我差点就开枪打死你吗?
1410	Do you know we chased you down for this?	你知道我们为了这个追你吗?
1411	You almost died for the stupid cross.	你差点因为傻十字架而死
1412	So we call the cops.	我们报警了
1413	They come.	他们来了。
1414	That stayed with me	留在我身边
1415	because I almost killed an innocent person for what?	为什么我差点杀了一个无辜的人?
1416	For nothing.	为无为故.
1417	That was probably very powerful.	这可能是非常强大的。
1418	I was afraid.	我当时很害怕
1419	I've been scenarios where the death was on my receiving end	我一直有预兆 死亡在我接收端
1420	and I was okay with that.	我当时也同意
1421	But I wasn't okay with this	但我不喜欢这样
1422	because I thought there was a split second	因为我以为有一分秒
1423	where I was deciding do I shoot him	我决定要射杀他
1424	because he's not following my instructions.	因为他没有遵守我的指示
1425	I cannot see his hand.	我看不见他的手。
1426	My partner's out there.	我的搭档在外面
1427	He could kill my partner.	他会杀了我的搭档
1428	I don't know if he has a gun.	我不知道他有没有枪
1429	I had all these escalating reasons to think that.	我有这么多 不断升级的理由来思考。
1430	And I chose not to shoot.	我选择不开枪
1431	What is your mental health like generally	你一般的精神健康怎么样?
1432	and throughout your career?	整个职业生涯?
1433	Because people talk about mental health.	因为人们谈论的是心理健康.
1434	They talk about anxiety, depression, low moods and stuff.	他们谈论焦虑,抑郁,情绪低落等等.
1435	Have you ever experienced what people describe	你有没有体验过人们描述的
1436	as mental health disorders?	作为精神健康障碍?
1437	This is terrible.	这太可怕了
1438	I don't think so.	亦不见.
1439	I think I'm trying to think.	我觉得我在思考
1440	I mean, like any human being, I go through moments	我的意思是,像任何人, 我经历的时刻
1441	but I don't let myself live there.	但我不会让自己住在那里。
1442	I guess I always feel like I'm the governor.	我想我总是觉得自己是州长
1443	I will say this.	我会这么说的
1444	It is okay to be depressed.	沮丧是正常的。
1445	It is okay to have anxiety.	焦虑是正常的。
1446	It is okay to feel bad.	感觉不好也没关系
1447	I think maybe that's the issue	我想也许这就是问题所在
1448	because we're in a space where, oh, you're depressed.	因为我们在一个空间, 哦,你沮丧。
1449	There's something wrong with you.	尔时有情.
1450	You have anxiety.	你有焦虑症
1451	Whoa.	珃
1452	I had anxiety every day when I went to training.	我每天都有焦虑 当我去训练。
1453	I always had anxiety.	我总是有焦虑。
1454	When I put my vest on and I was protecting the president,	当我穿上防弹衣 保护总统时
1455	I would carry my MP5, which is like this weapon	我会带着我的MP5 就像这个武器
1456	that basically like could go into automatic.	基本上可以说是自动的
1457	You could cause serious damage.	你会造成严重的伤害。
1458	Like I had anxiety.	就像我有焦虑。
1459	I'm like, man, it's today of the day.	我像,伙计,这是今天。
1460	Those are okay things to have.	那些东西是好的。
1461	So I feel like maybe we should change the narrative	所以我觉得也许我们应该改变叙述
1462	and normalize feeling bad.	和正常的感觉不好。
1463	Instead of making people feel like you're sad,	而不是让人觉得你很伤心
1464	take this pill.	吃这个药
1465	You have anxiety.	你有焦虑症
1466	Something's wrong with that.	有点不对劲
1467	Why is that bad?	为什么那么糟糕?
1468	Why do I have to be like every ridiculous commercial?	为什么我要像每个荒谬的广告一样?
1469	Because in the US, we advertise prescription medication	因为在美国,我们做处方药广告
1470	where I'm smiling all the time and happy.	在那里我总是笑着快乐
1471	My barometer for life is not to be happy.	我一生的气压计是不会快乐的
1472	The moments that I've done the most amazing things	我做过最奇妙的事
1473	in my life, I've not been happy.	在我的生活中,我一直不快乐。
1474	I've been fulfilled.	我已圆满.
1475	I've been like, man, I just did that.	我一直喜欢,伙计,我只是做到这一点。
1476	When I woke up, when I would wake up at 3 a.m.	当我醒来时,我会在凌晨3点醒来
1477	to go to the White House to stamp posts	去白宫盖邮票
1478	for 10 hours outside the Oval Office	在总统办公室外10小时
1479	in the freezing cold in the winter, I wasn't happy.	在冬天寒冷的寒冷中 我并不快乐
1480	It was freezing, I was cold.	冻死了,我冷死了
1481	But you know what?	但你知道吗?
1482	I was like, man, how did I get here?	我当时想,伙计,我怎么来的?
1483	Was there ever a day when you thought	你有没有想过
1484	the president's life was at risk and you were around him?	总统的生命有危险 而你却在他身边?
1485	Was there ever a moment where you thought-	你有没有想过...
1486	Every day.	每日无时.
1487	But was there a particular day where you thought, no?	但你有想过哪一天吗?
1488	Oh, we're screwed?	哦,我们完蛋了?
1489	Or that he was gonna be attacked?	还是说他会被攻击?
1490	Was there ever a moment where you genuinely thought	你曾经真正想过
1491	there was a genuine threat on his life?	他的生命有真正的威胁吗?
1492	Just wondering.	只是想问问。
1493	Yes and no.	是亦无.
1494	Yes in that, like when you would do outdoor events,	是的 就像你做户外活动时
1495	like certain events where he was very vulnerable,	就像某些他非常脆弱的事件
1496	like he's speaking to a crowd of 10,000 people,	就像他在和一万人交谈
1497	there's so many things that could go wrong, right?	有很多事情可能会出错,对吧?
1498	So those events, like there was definitely	所以,那些事件, 像绝对有
1499	that threat level was heightened.	威胁程度有所上升。
1500	But we had just put together-	但我们刚刚拼凑起来...
1501	Man, the agency was just such a competent agency	人,这个机构 只是这样一个主管机构
1502	and there were so many layers of security put in.	有这么多层的 安全设置。
1503	Things that you don't see, but it's the snipers,	你看不到的东西,但这是狙击手,
1504	it's the counter-assault team, it's the air restrictions,	这是反攻击小组, 这是空中限制,
1505	no planes flying above ground	没有飞机飞越地面
1506	because we put those into place.	因为我们把这些放进去了
1507	It's even radiation detection, nuclear.	甚至是辐射探测 核子
1508	There's so many things we do that the average person	有很多事情我们做 普通人
1509	has no idea about.	我对这件事一无所知
1510	The protocols we put in place.	我们制定的协议
1511	So I can't say the president per se	所以我不能说总统本身
1512	because I feel like he got all the bells and whistles.	因为我觉得他得到了所有的铃声和哨子。
1513	But maybe there were times where it was hard	但也许有些时候很难
1514	to protect certain people	保护某些人
1515	and that's where I felt it was harder.	在那里我觉得更难
1516	When I protected Barbara Bush, Bush's daughter,	当我保护芭芭拉·布什时 布什的女儿
1517	when I had her, that was hard	我生下她的时候 很难
1518	because I did not have the resources	因为我没有资源
1519	that you would have for a president	你会有总统
1520	and she wanted to be a young girl and go out and date	她想成为一个年轻的女孩 出去约会
1521	and go to clubs and go to Coachella and do these things.	然后去俱乐部 去Coachella做这些事
1522	我不得不带她去Coachella 我想
1523	I gotta keep her alive.	我得让她活着
1524	是Coachella 还有多少人在Coachella?
1525	It's like 10,000, hundreds,	这就像一万,数百,
1526	I don't even know at this point.	这时候我都不知道
1527	So those scenarios were usually the most uneasy for me	所以,这些情景 通常最让我不安
1528	because I had limited resources	因为我资源有限
1529	and it was a very different environment	它是一个非常不同的环境
1530	and they wanna live their life.	他们想过自己的生活
1531	Is there anything that you can't talk about?	有什么不能谈的吗?
1532	Sure, if you ask me something I can't answer, I'll tell you.	当然,如果你问我一些我不能回答的事情,我会告诉你。
1533	But I'm interested to know	但我有兴趣知道
1534	what you're unable to talk about.	你无法谈论的事
1535	You can't talk about the cars.	你不能谈论汽车。
1536	Okay, the way that the cars work and the security systems.	好吧,汽车的运行方式 和安全系统。
1537	Yeah, the way, technical, mechanical things with the cars	是啊,方法,技术,机械的东西与汽车
1538	because you have to think of it this way.	因为你必须这样想
1539	Anything I share here,	我在这里分享的一切
1540	you're gonna have people that follow you that listen,	你会有人跟随你听
1541	but you're also gonna have bad actors	但你也会有坏演员
1542	who listen to these interviews to gather information	谁听这些采访 收集信息
1543	because they wanna carry out an attack.	因为他们想发动攻击
1544	I always think like that.	我总是这样想
1545	So there are certain things you can't share.	所以有些事情你不能分享。
1546	I can't share certain things about Air Force One.	我无法分享空军一号的某些东西
1547	I can't share certain things	我不能分享某些东西
1548	about how we position ourselves.	关于我们如何定位自己。
1549	Like even though you'll see agents around the president,	就像你看到总统身边的特工一样
1550	there's a schematic that we follow	有一张图,我们遵循
1551	that the average person won't understand how we move,	普通人不会理解我们如何行动,
1552	our vehicles, how they're positioned and why,	我们的车辆, 他们是如何定位和为什么,
1553	how we would fight an attacker.	我们怎么对付攻击者?
1554	Like there's scenarios we play and movements that exist.	就像我们玩的游戏和运动一样
1555	犹如 dance舞.
1556	Do you have to sign a form when you leave	离开时必须签表吗?
1557	or before you start to say that	或者在你开始说之前
1558	I'll never speak about certain things?	我永远不会谈论某些事情?
1559	Do you initially know there was no such thing	你最初知道没有这种事
1560	because there was such a level of trust?	因为有这样的信任程度?
1561	You didn't need it.	你不需要这个
1562	And then one agent, and I love him,	然后一个探员 我爱他
1563	he came out and he started talking about things	他出来 开始谈论事情
1564	he shouldn't have talked about.	他不应该谈论。
1565	And as soon as he did that, the NDAs came,	一旦他这样做, NDAs来了,
1566	which is a little sad because up until that point,	有点悲哀 因为直到那时
1567	it was really just everything we did	我们所做的一切
1568	was based on the honor system.	是建立在荣誉制度之上的
1569	Did you ever have any form of imposter syndrome?	你有过冒牌货综合症吗?
1570	We talked earlier that when you joined the secret service,	我们之前说过 你加入特勤局时
1571	there was what, 98% men or something crazy?	98%的男人还是什么疯子?
1572	It was.	没错
1573	And so as a woman in that environment,	所以作为一个女人 在那种环境中,
1574	I know that you underwent a lot of prejudice,	我知道你遭受了很多偏见
1575	a lot of discrimination, a lot of comments.	很多歧视,很多评论。
1576	Did that ever leave you feeling like	难道你曾经觉得
1577	you were somewhere you weren't supposed to be,	你当时在不该去的地方
1578	or as they describe it as imposter syndrome?	还是他们称之为冒牌综合症?
1579	So I hate that word.	所以我讨厌这个词。
1580	And I don't let it live in my head.	亦不令其生于脑中.
1581	And it's like, who invented that word?	就像是谁发明了这个词?
1582	I think there's like these two researchers.	我觉得这两位研究者一样
1583	And I want to say, I could be completely wrong.	我想说 我可能完全错了
1584	So everybody be kind to me if I'm making a mistake.	所以,每个人都对我好 如果我犯了一个错误。
1585	But I had looked into it and I can't remember.	但我已经调查过了 我不记得了
1586	And I think it was two researchers who invented it	我觉得是两位研究者发明的
1587	specifically for women.	特别针对妇女。
1588	So I don't have imposter syndrome.	所以我没有冒牌货综合症。
1589	I earned to where I got.	我从哪里得到的
1590	I killed myself to get there.	我为了到那里自杀了
1591	So I always felt like, oh wow, how did I get here?	所以我总是觉得,哦,哇, 我怎么来到这里?
1592	But I'm like, I got here.	但我喜欢,我来到这里。
1593	So I never let that live in my head and take up real estate.	所以我从不让它活在我的脑子里 占据房地产
1594	So one is my naiveness and my ignorance	所以,一个是我的天真和无知
1595	allowed me to get to where I was	允许我回到我原来的位置
1596	because I didn't have this narrative.	因为我没有这个叙事。
1597	I shouldn't be there.	我不应该在那里。
1598	By whose standard?	谁的标准?
1599	That's one.	就是这样
1600	The other thing is, I'm not going to dismiss and say	另一件事是,我不会 解雇和说
1601	that I did not endure difficult things.	我没有忍受艰难的事情。
1602	Of course I did.	当然了
1603	I was a woman.	我是一个女人。
1604	Yes, these things happened.	是的,这些事情发生了。
1605	I remember once I was at a briefing.	我记得有一次我在做简报
1606	I was a brand new.	我是一个全新的。
1607	We were at this one briefing.	我们参加了这次通报会。
1608	It's me and all these guys.	是我和所有这些家伙。
1609	And then there was a boss giving a briefing to everybody.	然后有个老板给大家做简报
1610	He locked eye contact with everybody except me.	除了我,他把眼睛和别人的接触都锁上了
1611	He wouldn't look at me the whole briefing.	他不会看着我 整个简报。
1612	After every brief, and then I ended up having it	每一次简讯之后,我终于有了
1613	for a boss for a lot of things.	为了老板很多事
1614	It's like I wasn't there.	好像我不在一样
1615	He'd look at everybody else.	他会看着其他人
1616	I knew intuitively it's like he feels weird looking at me	我直觉地知道 他看着我感觉很奇怪
1617	because I'm a woman.	因为我是个女人
1618	Okay.	摆
1619	I was like, I still deserve to be here.	我当时想,我仍然应该在这里。
1620	In those environments, if someone's not,	在那种环境中,如果有人不是,
1621	if you feel like your manager or your boss or the CEO	如果你觉得自己是你的经理,你的老板或CEO
1622	or even like a colleague isn't showing you respect.	甚至像一个同事 并不尊重你
1623	And I've read your story.	我读过你的故事
1624	So I know that this happened multiple times in your life	所以我知道这发生在你生命中多次
1625	where there'd be someone around you	你身边会有人
1626	that wasn't showing you the respect you deserve.	那并没有让你得到应有的尊重
1627	And I have a lot of people that come up to me	我有很多人来找我
1628	and they say I'm struggling	他们说我在挣扎
1629	because my boss is not showing me respect	因为我老板不尊重我
1630	or my colleague, this colleague isn't listening to me	或我的同事,这个同事不听我的
1631	or all these kinds of things.	或所有这种东西。
1632	Where does your mind default to when I say that?	我这么说的时候 你的头脑是哪里来的?
1633	Like, where do you go to in your mind?	喜欢,你要去哪里 你的思想?
1634	What is your like action A?	你的动作A是什么样?
1635	So with the last one you just said,	你刚才说的最后一个
1636	my colleagues don't listen to me.	我的同事不听我的话。
1637	I would come back and I would say,	我会回来,我会说,
1638	give me an example of where they don't listen to you, right?	举个例子,他们不听你的,对吧?
1639	So I would say to you, when you do speak,	所以我会告诉你 当你说话的时候
1640	do you look at people when you speak?	你说话的时候会看人吗?
1641	Do you project your voice?	你发出你的声音吗?
1642	So it's called paralinguistics.	故名为彼语.
1643	Everyone's so focused on what they say,	每个人都这么专注于他们所说的话,
1644	like reading my notes or reading my agenda.	喜欢阅读我的笔记或阅读我的日程。
1645	They don't think about the tone pitch of the voice.	他们不考虑声音的音调投注.
1646	How are you delivering this?	你怎么送这个的?
1647	Are you projecting your voice?	你在投射你的声音?
1648	Or do you talk like this when you speak?	还是你说话的时候这样说话?
1649	I have a question, I just wanna share something.	我有一个问题, 我只是想分享一些东西。
1650	People are gonna like glaze over.	人们会喜欢光泽的
1651	I have a question.	我有个问题
1652	Or even just the tone, how you under,	或只是语气,你如何下,
1653	hi, I'm Evy.	嗨,我是伊维。
1654	Hi, I'm Evy.	嗨,我是艾维。
1655	Feels different.	感觉不同
1656	Those are simple things you can do	很简单,你可以做的
1657	to make sure people hear you.	确保人们听到你。
1658	The other thing is, I say this a lot	另一件事是,我常说
1659	when I speak to companies	当我和公司谈话时
1660	because communication is a big thing.	因为沟通是件大事
1661	Don't just talk to talk.	别光是说话
1662	There's this thing out there and especially with women	外面有这个东西 特别是女人
1663	where it's like, make sure they hear you.	让他们听到你的声音
1664	Make sure your voice is heard at the table.	确保你的声音在桌子上被听到。
1665	I'm fine with that.	没关系
1666	Do you have something beneficial to say or value to say?	你有什么好说的或有价值的?
1667	Because if you don't, don't say anything.	因为如果你不说,不要说什么。
1668	Half the meetings I go to, I don't speak	半场我参加的会议,我不说话
1669	because maybe I have nothing to say.	因为我也许没什么好说的
1670	It's so interesting.	这很有趣。
1671	I am from being in many boardrooms for many, many years,	我从很多年,很多年的会议室里
1672	probably 15 years being in marketing boardrooms,	可能15年在销售室,
1673	not 15 years, about 10 years being in marketing boardrooms	不是15年,大约10年是在 营销董事会
1674	with CEOs, with my team, with lots of different people,	与首席执行官,与我的团队, 与很多不同的人,
1675	lots of different teams.	很多不同的团队。
1676	I've had thousands and thousands of meetings.	我有过上千次会议
1677	I eventually observed something in myself,	我最终发现自己身上有些东西
1678	which is a bit of a prejudice that I have,	这是有点偏见,我有,
1679	which is the minute someone speaks,	这时候,有人说话,
1680	based on their contribution score,	根据其贡献分数,
1681	which is like a credit score,	这就像一个积分,
1682	based on all of the contributions you made in the past,	基于你过去的所有贡献,
1683	in those first couple of seconds,	在这前两秒钟,
1684	if their previous contributions were all valuable,	如果他们以前的贡献都是有价值的,
1685	everyone in the room would stop and look and lean in.	房间里的每个人都会停下来看,然后靠着。
1686	But if they had developed a low contribution score	但是,如果他们发展了一个低贡献分数
1687	because they'd continually talked for the sake of talking,	因为他们为了说话而不断说话
1688	i.e.	即说.
1689	they're just like, I'll give you an example.	他们就像,我给你一个例子。
1690	In my New York office back in the day,	那天我在纽约的办公室
1691	there was this one guy who,	有个家伙
1692	we'd be in a brainstorm trying to solve a problem,	我们会在一场脑风暴 试图解决问题,
1693	and he would start speaking.	然后他开始说话。
1694	And you'd see, by the way he started speaking,	你会发现, 通过他开始说话的方式,
1695	that he hadn't actually thought through	他没有真正思考过
1696	what he was going to say.	他会说什么。
1697	And he'd go, what about if we put a,	他会去,如果我们放一个,
1698	I don't know, like a pop-up,	我不知道,像弹出,
1699	and maybe we'll do some TikToks.	也许我们会做一些TikToks。
1700	And so honestly, what I then observed from that individual	老实说,我从这个人身上看到的
1701	is every time they open their mouth,	他们每张嘴,
1702	people would instantly basically dismiss the idea	人们会立刻放弃这个想法
1703	because they had such a low contribution score.	因为他们的贡献分数很低
1704	And we all have a contribution score.	我们都有一个贡献分数。
1705	You have one, I have one,	你有一个,我有一个,
1706	based on the last 10 years of when we've opened our mouth,	根据过去10年我们张开嘴,
1707	how valuable it was to the people around us.	这对我们周围的人有多有价值
1708	That individual, whenever he spoke,	这个人,每当他说话,
1709	I would see the person sat next to him, who I won't name,	我看见坐在他旁边的人 我不会说出他的名字
1710	almost low-key roll their eyes in the first five seconds	几乎低调地在头5秒钟里翻转眼睛
1711	and shut it down before he'd even got it out.	在他把它弄出来之前关掉它
1712	And then there was this other guy called,	然后还有一个人叫,
1713	in my UK office called Paul,	在我的英国办公室 叫保罗,
1714	never spoke, like never really said anything,	从来没有说过, 像从来没有真正说过什么,
1715	super mature, super experienced guy.	超成熟,超有经验的家伙。
1716	The minute he said anything,	他一说什么
1717	because every time he opened his mouth,	因为每次他张开嘴
1718	it was important and valuable and considered.	这是重要和有价值的,经过考虑。
1719	Everyone went, he could interrupt anyone,	每个人都去,他可以打断任何人,
1720	the instant silence, everyone stares over at this guy.	立即的沉默 每个人都盯着这家伙看
1721	Because when he contributed,	因为当他捐款的时候
1722	we all knew that he had something valuable to add.	我们都知道他有有价值的东西要补充。
1723	And I, so I would say to my team,	我,所以我要对我的人说,
1724	and I said this to this team,	我告诉这个团队,
1725	that we're here with this in New York,	我们在这里与这个在纽约,
1726	like just make sure you protect your contribution score.	就像只是确保你保护 你的贡献分。
1727	That's such a brilliant way to say it, yes.	说得真好
1728	You're probably, yes, it's like it's your score	你可能,是的,这就像是你的分数
1729	because people keep taps on you.	因为人们总是在拍你。
1730	Yeah.	对
1731	They know, Steven's gonna say something,	他们知道,史蒂文会说什么,
1732	he doesn't always speak,	他不总是说话,
1733	but if he's gonna say something,	但是如果他要说什么,
1734	every time he drops something, he drops something of value.	每次他掉东西的时候 他就会掉一些有价值的东西
1735	Where people think like, I have to talk	人们想的地方,我得谈谈
1736	because everyone tells me I have to talk, make my voice heard.	因为每个人都说我要说话,让我的声音被听到
1737	No, shut up.	不,闭嘴。
1738	And if you're silent, then you're not of value,	如果你沉默,那么你没有价值,
1739	that's what people think, they think.	这是人们的想法,他们的想法。
1740	Right.	对
1741	You didn't add anything.	你什么都没加
1742	Right.	对
1743	Well, you didn't take anything away either.	你也没拿走任何东西
1744	Yes, I will tell you this too, Steven,	是的,我也会告诉你,史蒂芬
1745	when I go to meetings or sometimes I go to meetings,	当我去开会或有时去开会,
1746	and if I'm the dumbest person in the room,	如果我是房间里最蠢的人
1747	I'm the happiest person.	我是最快乐的人
1748	That's the one time where I'm happy	那是我快乐的一次
1749	because I'm thinking, wow,	因为我想,哇,
1750	look at all these smart people around me	看看身边这么多聪明人
1751	and I get to be part of this.	我也会参与其中
1752	I get to listen.	我会听的
1753	I love to sit back and listen.	我喜欢坐着听
1754	There's times, I just had a meeting	有几次,我刚开了个会
1755	with like my scripted agent, Sylvie,	就像我的剧本经纪人西尔维
1756	with my manager about some TV project,	和我经理谈一些电视项目
1757	and I knew enough to know to say,	我足够知道该说
1758	they're like, hey, Evie, this and this,	他们就像,嘿,Evie,这个和这个,
1759	and I said, you know what?	我说,你知道吗?
1760	This is space I don't know, I'm gonna follow your lead,	这是我不知道的空间, 我会遵循你的线索,
1761	fill me in, I'm taking a seat back,	说吧,我要坐回去
1762	you guys do the talking.	你们来说话
1763	I'm gonna let you in on a little secret.	我要告诉你一个小秘密
1764	What is in the Diary of a CEO cup?	首席执行官杯的日记里有什么?
1765	This cup that sits in front of me	这杯子坐在我面前
1766	when I interview these people,	当我采访这些人时,
1767	sometimes for three hours,	有时三个小时,
1768	and sometimes three people a day,	有时每天有三个人
1769	and the answer is this, perfecto.	答案是这个,完美。
1770	I invested in the company on Dragon's Den,	我投资公司 在龙穴,
1771	and since then they've gone from an idea	从那时起,他们从一个想法出发
1772	to the fastest growing energy drink in the UK.	在英国增长最快的能源饮料。
1773	It is a matcha energy drink,	这是一个火柴能量饮料,
1774	and it is absolutely delicious,	这绝对是美味的,
1775	but that's not why I choose to drink it on this podcast.	但这不是为什么我选择 喝这个播客。
1776	The reason I choose to drink it	我选择喝这个的原因
1777	is because it gives me what I call all day energy.	因为它给了我所谓的一整天的能量。
1778	I don't get the same crashes that I used to get	我和以前不一样
1779	with other energy drinks.	和其他能量饮料。
1780	If you're in the middle of a conversation,	如果你在谈话
1781	or you're in the middle of a talk on stage,	或者你在台上闲谈
1782	or in the boardroom,	或在会议室,
1783	the last thing you wanna do is have a crash.	你最不想做的就是发生车祸
1784	You don't want jitters, and you need focus,	你不想紧张, 你需要集中精神,
1785	and that is why they now sponsor this podcast.	这就是为什么他们现在赞助这个播客。
1786	Not only is it delicious,	不仅好吃
1787	but it gives me a significant competitive advantage.	但它给了我巨大的竞争优势。
1788	If you haven't tried it, go down to a Tesco,	如果你还没有尝试过, 去Tesco,
1789	go to a Waitrose, or go online,	去维特洛斯 或者上网
1790	and use the code Diary10 at checkout,	并在离职时使用代码Diary10,
1791	and you'll get 10% off.	你会得到10%的折扣。
1792	And when you do try it, let me know how you get on.	当你尝试, 让我知道你是如何得到的。
1793	You're someone who has a default to taking responsibility.	你是没有责任的人
1794	You know, like the opposite, I guess,	你知道,就像相反,我想,
1795	of taking responsibility is becoming a victim,	承担责任正在成为受害者,
1796	which we talked a little bit about	我们聊了一下
1797	before we started recording,	在我们开始录制之前
1798	but people don't like taking responsibility.	但人们不喜欢承担责任
1799	It almost is like holding a mirror up to yourself.	它几乎就像拿着一面镜子 自己。
1800	It's much easier to go through life blaming the world,	怪罪世界的生活容易得多
1801	blaming the government, blaming circumstance, luck,	指责政府 指责情况 指责运气
1802	parents, the guy that did it to me,	父母,谁做了它给我,
1803	my ex-boyfriend, my ex-husband.	我的前男友,我的前夫。
1804	It's a much easier way, it's a much more comfortable way	比较容易,比较舒服
1805	to exist within your mind for most people,	在你的脑海里为大多数人存在,
1806	for a lot of people.	对很多人来说
1807	I sat with a guy called Mo Gawdat many years ago,	几年前我和一个叫莫·戈达特的家伙坐在一起
1808	and he, the first time he came on my podcast,	他,他第一次来到我的播客,
1809	and he told me that when he writes a book,	他告诉我 当他写一本书,
1810	he gets 500 people at random, members of the public,	他随机得到500人 公众成员,
1811	to go into a Google doc and kind of read through it.	进入谷歌博士 并读取它。
1812	And he goes, for some reason,	他去,出于某种原因,
1813	when people got to the section about personal responsibility,	当人们来到 关于个人责任的部分,
1814	about 10% of people just click off,	大约10%的人刚刚点击关闭,
1815	because they don't wanna read that.	因为他们不想读
1816	Because nothing's my fault.	因为没有什么是我的错。
1817	They don't want someone to tell them	他们不想有人告诉他们
1818	that they can change their life.	他们可以改变自己的生活。
1819	And I've always found that really bizarre,	我一直觉得这很奇怪
1820	like people don't want to know that they,	就像人们不想知道那样
1821	some people don't want to know that wherever they are now	有些人不想知道 他们现在在哪里
1822	and where they want to be will largely be based,	并且他们想住的地方,
1823	in most circumstances, not all,	多数情况下,不是所有,
1824	be based on what they do now and tomorrow and the day after.	以他们现在、明天和第二天的行为为基础。
1825	There's something about victimhood,	有一点关于受害者,
1826	which both alleviates blame from ourselves	这都减轻了我们的责任
1827	and makes us feel justified in our misery.	使我们在痛苦中感到正当
1828	Do you know, but some people want to live there.	你知道吗,但有些人想住在那里。
1829	It becomes their identity.	它成为他们的身份。
1830	So I am this.	我就是这样
1831	I am how I am today because of this thing	今天我就是这样 因为这件事
1832	that happened to me a long time ago.	这发生在我很久以前。
1833	I remember working with this woman.	我记得和这个女人一起工作
1834	There was a window during COVID	COVID期间有个窗口
1835	when people were writing to me, and I was like, ah,	当人们给我写信, 而我就像,啊,
1836	it's quiet, let me do consultations.	安静,让我做咨询。
1837	And I did consultation mentors,	我做了咨询导师,
1838	and I had this one woman come to me,	我让这个女人来找我
1839	and I would get people like what you're talking about	我会得到人们喜欢 你所说的
1840	every now and then.	时不时
1841	Usually when most people came to me, though,	通常,当大多数人来找我,虽然,
1842	they knew what they were getting,	他们知道自己得到了什么,
1843	but I would have people come to me	但我会让别人来找我
1844	that just wanted me to validate	那只是想让我验证
1845	that somebody else did this to you	别人对你做的
1846	or you're okay to feel this way.	或者你可以这样想
1847	This one woman came to me, she was a therapist,	有个女人来找我 是个心理医生
1848	and she came to me and she told me	她来找我,告诉我
1849	about some hardships she had when she was young.	关于她年轻时遇到的一些困难
1850	I think what she had was she grew up with no money,	我觉得她从小没钱
1851	it was very traumatic.	伤得很重
1852	She had to take care of her brother,	她不得不照顾她的兄弟,
1853	and there was a term for it,	并有一个期限,
1854	I forgot it was a clinical term.	我忘了那是个临床术语
1855	And because of that trauma, today she has all these issues.	由于这种创伤,她今天有这些问题。
1856	And so she's like, I have a hard time	所以她喜欢,我有困难
1857	talking in front of people, I have anxiety,	在人们面前说话, 我有焦虑,
1858	and she was telling me this stuff.	她告诉我这些东西。
1859	I said, why don't we leave what happened to you here, here?	我说,我们为什么不把发生在你身上的事留在这儿?
1860	Let's leave it there.	让我们把它留在那里。
1861	I said, and let's look at what we're doing,	我说,让我们看看我们在做什么,
1862	because you're telling me, Evy, I wanna perform in life,	因为你告诉我,艾薇 我想在生活中表演,
1863	but it's like you've just bought yourself	但好像你刚刚买了自己
1864	this brand new Porsche, and you're like,	这个全新的保时捷,你就像,
1865	this thing won't go past 50 or 60, why?	这东西不会超过50或60,为什么?
1866	Because I'm like, because you have this big-ass U-Haul	因为我喜欢, 因为你有一个大屁股U -豪尔
1867	attached to it, and it can't,	附属于它, 它不能,
1868	so why don't we leave this back there,	所以我们为什么不把这个留在后面
1869	and we'll move forward.	我们继续前进
1870	Would you believe, Steven, she lost her mind?	你相信吗 史蒂文 她疯了吗?
1871	She's like, how dare you?	她喜欢,你怎么敢?
1872	How dare you dismiss what I've been through?	你竟敢抛弃我的经历?
1873	How dare you?	你怎么敢这样?
1874	Read the room, I will never forget her.	看房间,我永远不会忘记她。
1875	And the thing was, it was so part of who she was today,	事情是这样的,这是她今天的一部分,
1876	it was her, it defined her so much,	这是她, 它定义了她这么多,
1877	she didn't wanna leave it behind,	她不想丢下它,
1878	she just wanted to talk about it more.	她只是想多谈谈
1879	And so sometimes people-	所以有时候人们...
1880	Why doesn't she wanna leave it behind, do you think?	为什么她不想留下它 你觉得呢?
1881	Because it's her identity, it's who she is,	因为这是她的身份, 她是谁,
1882	it's like people who have been through something,	这就像人们 谁经历过的东西,
1883	an experience.	一个经验。
1884	I will give you another example, September 11th.	我将举另一个例子,9月11日。
1885	So I was in the World Trade Center on September 11th,	9月11日我在世贸中心
1886	I survived, I was almost killed,	我活下来了,我差点死了
1887	I lost colleagues and friends,	我失去了同事和朋友,
1888	but I was also around other people	但我也在别人身边
1889	who experienced what I experienced.	他们体验了我的经历。
1890	And different people behave differently,	而不同的人行为不同,
1891	and there were some people that would reach out to me,	有些人会来找我
1892	remember this one guy, he was a medic,	记住这个家伙,他是一个医生,
1893	and he saw what I saw, he experienced what I experienced,	他看到了我所看到的 他经历了我的经历
1894	and he just couldn't recover.	他只是无法康复。
1895	And he would call me up, he's like,	他会打电话给我,他喜欢,
1896	Evie, I'm struggling, I'm struggling,	伊维,我挣扎,我挣扎,
1897	and I tell him, I'm like, I think his name was Jerry,	我告诉他,我觉得他叫杰瑞
1898	I'm like, Jerry, I'm like, leave it, it's done, we're here,	我像,杰瑞,我像,离开它, 它的完成,我们在这里,
1899	it's like, where we go?	就像,我们要去哪里?
1900	And he couldn't, and all he did was talk about it,	他不能, 他所做的只是谈论它,
1901	and the other thing he did is he went to therapy,	他做的另外一件事是 他去了治疗,
1902	a lot of it.	很多东西
1903	And I was like, dude, I was like,	我就像,伙计,我就像,
1904	I don't think you should be going therapy about this,	我不认为你应该 去治疗这一点,
1905	stop talking about it.	别再说了
1906	I was like, you're reliving it every time.	我当时想,你每一次都要重生
1907	Like, therapy's supposed to, like,	像,治疗应该,喜欢,
1908	it's a Hippocratic oath, do no harm,	这是一个希波克拉底的誓言,没有伤害,
1909	like, therapy's supposed to help you move forward,	治疗应该有助于你前进
1910	but if, I was like, if I went to therapy every week,	但是,如果我喜欢, 如果我每周去治疗,
1911	and I talked about 9-11, I'd be a mess.	我说的是9 -11,我会是一团糟。
1912	I was like, leave it, let it be where it is in the past.	我当时就想,别管它,就让它过去吧
1913	And like, what do you do with what we experienced,	喜欢,你做什么 用我们的经验,
1914	and how do we move forward, and how do we help other people?	我们如何前进,如何帮助其他人?
1915	And I like, that was a scenario where I was like,	我喜欢,那是一种情景 我像,
1916	if you keep reliving this trauma,	如果你继续重温创伤
1917	like, you become it, and it was him, it was him.	就像,你变成它, 而这是他,这是他。
1918	He left being a medic, he lost, his marriage,	他离开了一个医生, 他失去了,他的婚姻,
1919	he got a divorce, like, his whole life just fell apart.	他离婚了,就像, 他的整个生活只是崩溃了。
1920	But do you know, he wanted to stay there.	但你知道吗,他想留在那
1921	He didn't want to leave it.	他不想离开它。
1922	It was what, it was, it defined who he was.	这是什么,这是,它是, 它定义了他是谁。
1923	I met another dude, I shouldn't say dude,	我遇到了另一个男人, 我不该说,伙计,
1924	but I met another man who I knew.	但我遇到了另一个我认识的人
1925	He was an iron worker, nice guy,	他是个铁匠,是个好人
1926	he does a lot of stuff around 9-11,	他在9 -11左右做很多事情,
1927	but I remember once I interviewed him for a news thing.	但我记得我曾经采访过他 做新闻
1928	He didn't know anything about me.	他对我一无所知
1929	This was strictly news as a journalist	这完全是记者新闻
1930	after I left the Secret Service,	我离开特勤局后
1931	and it was a 9-11 piece we were doing.	这是9 -11的作品 我们做了。
1932	I didn't say anything, because of course it's not about me,	我什么也没说,因为那当然不关我的事
1933	it's about him.	这是关于他的。
1934	I remember putting his mics on, and doing stuff,	我还记得他戴上麦克风 做点什么
1935	and getting ready to do my video thing with him.	准备和他一起拍我的视频
1936	He had like, 9-11 tattoos all over his arm.	他手臂上有9-11个纹身
1937	And like, he had a 9-11 room,	他有一个911房间
1938	he's like, let me show you my room,	他喜欢,让我告诉你 我的房间,
1939	and again, I said nothing.	再说一遍,我什么都没说
1940	I remember thinking, I'm like,	我记得在想,我像,
1941	it's like, I can't, I would never tattoo	就像,我不能,我不会纹身
1942	the towers on my arms.	塔在我的手臂上。
1943	I was like, I can't.	我当时想,我不能。
1944	I'm like, what mental mindset are you going to be in?	我很喜欢,什么精神 心态你会是什么?
1945	And he had a room with all his 9-11 stuff.	他有一个房间 与他的所有9 -11的东西。
1946	I was like, I don't, I have a Valor Award.	我好像,我没有,我有一个英勇奖。
1947	It's under my bed.	它在我的床底下。
1948	My dad had took it, he hung it,	我爸爸拿走了,他挂起来了
1949	then when he passed away, I took it and I put it away again.	然后当他去世时,我把它拿走,我又把它收起来。
1950	It's under my bed.	它在我的床底下。
1951	I think that these things,	我认为这些东西,
1952	there are certain types of people, Steven,	有一些类型的人,史蒂芬,
1953	that they want to be tied to this.	他们想被绑在这上面
1954	It's their story, and when they meet you,	这是他们的故事 当他们见到你时
1955	they're gonna tell you about it.	他们会告诉你的
1956	Oh, do you know what I would have been through?	你知道我会经历什么吗?
1957	I'm recovering from this.	我从这里恢复过来。
1958	I'm surviving for this.	我活下来了
1959	You come across those folks, because that's their identity.	你遇到那些人, 因为那是他们的身份。
1960	It's become who they are,	变成他们是谁了
1961	and they don't know how to let it go.	他们不知道该怎么放手
1962	And it's okay, but that's for them.	没关系,但那是给他们的
1963	It's not for me.	这不是为我。
1964	What is the harm then of not letting go of our trauma	不放下创伤有什么不好?
1965	and embodying it and allowing it to become our identity?	让它成为我们的身份?
1966	Like, what does it stop us from doing?	像,它阻止我们做什么?
1967	Because I'm not a 9-11 survivor, I'm heavy.	因为我不是911的幸存者 我很重
1968	That's something I experienced one day in my life,	这是我一生中经历的一天,
1969	and you're gonna tell me that one day defines who I am	你会告诉我,有一天 确定我是谁
1970	for the rest of my life?	一辈子?
1971	Fuck no.	他妈的没有。
1972	If it does, what's the harm?	如果真的这样,有什么不好?
1973	Who's it ever gonna become?	它会变成谁?
1974	I'm gonna be a mess.	我会是一团糟。
1975	I'm gonna be afraid to go in a high-rise building.	我会害怕去一个高层建筑。
1976	I'm gonna be afraid to get onto a plane.	我会害怕上飞机
1977	Three weeks after 9-11, I got on a plane.	911事件三周后 我上了飞机
1978	I was like, oh, no, no, no, no.	我当时想,哦,不,不,不,不。
1979	This is not, kill fear while it's so small.	这不是,在这么小的时候杀死恐惧。
1980	This is not gonna become a monster.	这不会变成一个怪物。
1981	I got my ass on a plane.	我的屁股在飞机上。
1982	I was like, I can't control everything in my life,	我当时想,我不能 控制我的生活的一切,
1983	but I can navigate the outcome of my life to some degree.	但我可以在某种程度上把握人生的结局
1984	Not all.	还没
1985	I'm not gonna be at the mercy of the world.	我不会被世界所左右
1986	I can take ownership to some degree, Steven,	我可以在某种程度上当家作主 史蒂芬
1987	but I have to choose to want it.	但我必须选择想要它。
1988	Not everybody wants it, but it's also, I have to,	不是每个人都想要,但这也是,我必须,
1989	you and I or whoever has to have enough intelligence	你和我,或者任何人 拥有足够的智力
1990	to see that when someone is like that, just leave them.	看着别人这样的时候 离开他们
1991	They don't want you to fix their problems.	他们不希望你解决他们的问题。
1992	They want to be there.	他们想在那里。
1993	Let them be there.	让他们在那里。
1994	However, if it's someone you're looking to hire or date	不过,如果是你要找的人 雇人或约会
1995	or hang out with, now you decide,	或挂出,现在你决定,
1996	is this someone I want to be around	我想和这个人在一起
1997	because it is not good for me?	因为这样对我不好?
1998	Those are two different things.	这两件事不同。
1999	I want to come back to this 9-11 thing,	我想回到9 -11的事情,
2000	but it reminded me of a conversation I had	但它让我想起我曾经的谈话
2001	with someone recently where they were telling me	最近有人告诉我
2002	about all the problems in their life	他们生活中的所有问题
2003	and problems they were having	以及他们遇到的问题
2004	with a particular job that they have.	他们有一份特殊的工作
2005	And I remember asking them, I was like,	我记得我问他们,我说,
2006	did you, you chose that job, right?	你选择了那份工作,对吧?
2007	And you can leave.	你可以离开。
2008	And they were so offended by the idea	他们被这个想法冒犯了
2009	that they had a choice.	他们有一个选择。
2010	Like, and they eventually, they admitted to me	就像,最终,他们承认了我
2011	that they could leave and they would be fine	他们可以离开,他们可以没事
2012	because they have enough money	因为他们有足够的钱
2013	and that they interviewed for that job and went for it.	他们为那份工作面试并去面试
2014	And they also could leave,	他们也可以离开,
2015	but they weren't interested in choice.	但他们对选择没兴趣
2016	Like, I remember saying to them, like, I've never,	喜欢,我记得告诉他们, 像,我从来没有,
2017	this is a good friend of mine.	这是我的好朋友
2018	I remember saying to them, like,	我记得对他们说,就像,
2019	why don't you want power in this situation?	为什么在这种情况下你不想要权力?
2020	Like, why don't you want to be empowered?	喜欢,为什么不想要 被赋予权力?
2021	You're like, I could observe in them	你就像,我可以从中观察
2022	that they wanted to be disempowered.	他们想被废黜
2023	They wanted to be powerless.	他们想变得无能为力。
2024	They wanted to be a victim of circumstance.	他们想成为环境的受害者。
2025	They didn't want to have a conversation about choices	他们不想谈选择
2026	and the decisions they could make.	以及他们能做出的决定
2027	They were not interested.	他们不感兴趣。
2028	And I was like, Jesus Christ, like, what a way to live.	我就像,耶稣基督一样, 多好的生活方式。
2029	What a way to live, to not want to, you know,	活着,不想,你知道,
2030	because objectively bad things happen to people.	因为客观上坏事发生在人们身上
2031	You know, traumas, they go through things	你知道,创伤,他们经历的东西
2032	which were nothing of their doing.	他们没有做什么。
2033	They weren't to blame.	不怪他们
2034	But it doesn't mean, right,	但这并不意味着,正确的,
2035	that we can't do something about it.	我们不能做点什么。
2036	There's a very two different things, like.	有非常两样东西,像。
2037	But you have to want it.	但你必须想要它。
2038	Some people don't.	有些人不会
2039	So I think what you'll do is you'll be able to,	所以,我认为你会做的是,你可以,
2040	people come to you and they'll say,	人们来找你,他们会说,
2041	Steven, I need help, or this and that.	史蒂芬,我需要帮助 或者这个或者那个
2042	But you'll be able to see	但你会看到
2043	who genuinely really wants to move forward,	他们的确想前进,
2044	who just wants to just tell you about it.	谁只想告诉你这件事。
2045	How would you be able to identify the difference?	如何辨别差别.
2046	So people who are, it's called being identity.	因此,人们谁是, 这被称为身份。
2047	And I used this word before, but more in a clinical,	我以前用过这个词,但更像是临床上的
2048	not in a clinical, but more in the way that I've learned it	不是临床上的,而是我学到的更多
2049	through training and the research.	通过培训和研究。
2050	I also have a master's in forensic psychology.	我还有一个法医心理学硕士
2051	When someone is identity, they use repeated,	当某人是身份, 他们使用重复,
2052	you'll hear them say I, I, I, I a lot.	你会听到他们说我,我,我,我很多。
2053	You can even see this in an email.	你甚至可以在邮件里看到这个
2054	People who are identity tend to be highly depressed,	身份认同的人往往非常沮丧
2055	have a lot of anxiety.	有很多焦虑。
2056	They're very self-focused.	二者极自专心.
2057	They're very emotional based.	他们非常情绪化
2058	So you can spot these individuals.	所以,你可以发现这些人。
2059	Now look, we all visit identity land from time to time.	听着,我们不时地访问身份地。
2060	Like, I may go through something difficult	喜欢,我可能会经历一些困难
2061	and have a moment in this identity space,	并有一个片刻 在这个身份空间,
2062	but then I'm like, okay, I have to recover.	但我想,好吧, 我必须恢复。
2063	But some people stay in this space.	但有些人留在这个空间。
2064	It's like their predominant disposition.	这就像他们的主要处置。
2065	So repeated use of I this, I that, I feel, I want,	所以,反复使用我这个, 我,我觉得,我想,
2066	I went through, that's one red flag.	我穿过了,那是一面红旗。
2067	The other thing is they're very emotional.	另一件事是,他们非常情绪化。
2068	You'll see there's links to depression.	你会看到与抑郁症有关联
2069	They're typically depressed, but they stay in this space.	他们通常很郁闷,但他们留在这个空间.
2070	The other thing is people like this who complain a lot.	另一件事是这种人经常抱怨
2071	Do you know that when you relive a trauma	你知道当你重温创伤时
2072	or you complain or you have drama,	或者你抱怨或你有戏剧,
2073	like you get those cortisol hits.	就像你得到那些皮质醇的打击。
2074	You'll get also adrenaline hits.	你也会得肾上腺素的
2075	You get F3.	你会得到F3。
2076	It's your fight, flight, freeze response.	这是你的战斗,飞行,冻结反应。
2077	We peak.	我们顶峰。
2078	And some people get addicted to that peak.	而有些人对那个高峰上瘾。
2079	I'm addicted to the trauma.	我对创伤上瘾了
2080	I'm addicted to feeling that.	我上瘾的感觉。
2081	It's like last week I was racing a car.	这就像上周 我赛车。
2082	I was at Ports and I was racing cars for fun.	我在波特斯 和赛车为乐趣。
2083	And when you're in the car, you're in the present, right?	当你在车里的时候,你就在现在,对吗?
2084	I'm like, shh.	我很喜欢,嘘。
2085	Look, trying not to hit the cones, doing whatever.	听着 尽量不打锥子 做任何事
2086	I'm there, I'm in the moment.	我在那里,我的时刻。
2087	But like my adrenaline's going up.	但我的肾上腺素会上升
2088	I'm peaking.	我在顶峰。
2089	I've got my F3s on fire, but I'm focused.	我有我的F3着火,但我焦点。
2090	It feels, I feel alive.	感觉,我感觉活着。
2091	So for some people, when they get into this state,	所以有些人,当他们进入这个状态时,
2092	when they relive this stuff and they have these spikes	当他们重现这些东西, 他们有这些钉子
2093	or you see them very high conflict driven	或你看到他们 激烈的冲突驱动
2094	or high drama driven, they get these spikes.	或高戏剧驱动, 他们得到这些钉子。
2095	And it's when they feel in the moment, they feel alive	当他们感受到那一刻,他们感到活着
2096	and you become addicted to it.	你却沉迷于其中。
2097	It also becomes a habit.	这也成了一种习惯。
2098	I was thinking then about this idea of identity	我当时在想这个身份的想法
2099	and what identity also sometimes seems to give people	和什么身份 有时似乎 给人们
2100	is it gives them a community	是它给他们一个社区
2101	and it gives them a sense of belonging	让他们有归属感
2102	and it gives them purpose, which we're all searching for.	这给了他们我们寻找的目的
2103	Like if I'm a insert trauma,	就像我是一个插入 创伤,
2104	then I instantly have a community of people	然后,我立刻有一个社区的人
2105	that will make me feel like I belong.	那会让我觉得属于我
2106	And then that is something I don't want to give up.	这才是我不想放弃的
2107	If I give up my trauma,	如果我放弃我的创伤,
2108	I end up giving up my sense of purpose,	我最终放弃了使命感
2109	my community, who I belong to,	我所属的社区
2110	the way the world understands me.	这个世界理解我的方式。
2111	And that's, oh, I guess another reason why	这也是,哦,我想另一个原因
2112	it can be so sticky.	它会很粘
2113	Like our traumas can be so sticky	就像我们的创伤会这么粘
2114	because we build our whole social circle around them.	因为我们把整个社会圈子建在他们周围
2115	We go to events about it.	我们去看关于它的事件。
2116	We're in little social media groups about it.	我们参加一些社交媒体团体
2117	But I think today trauma has become like a badge of honor now.	但我认为今天的创伤已经变成了荣誉的徽章
2118	In fact, you hear people talking	其实你听到有人在说话
2119	and it's like a competition about who has more trauma.	这就像一个竞争 谁有更多的创伤。
2120	Is it not that?	是吗?
2121	Who has, I have more trauma than you.	谁有,我有更多的创伤 比你。
2122	No, I've had it harder than you.	不,我比你还难受
2123	Like it's a competition of who's had it the hardest.	喜欢它的竞争 谁拥有它最难。
2124	And it's become like this thing now	现在已经变成这样了
2125	that we put on a pedestal.	我们把一个踏板。
2126	I think it's just the new way to draw attention to ourselves	我觉得这只是吸引大家注意的新方式
2127	and to make ourselves relevant.	并使我们自己具有相关性。
2128	It's like ego and status.	这就像自我和地位。
2129	It is ego.	这是自我。
2130	It is status.	这是状态。
2131	And it's interesting the sense of belonging	它很有趣的归属感
2132	in group, out group.	组,出组。
2133	That's a whole other psychological thing.	这是另外一种心理问题
2134	If I'm in a group and I feel like I belong somewhere,	如果我在一个团体 我觉得我属于某个地方
2135	it's like how I'm taking it back to crime gangs	就像我把它带回犯罪团伙一样
2136	or why people join terrorist organizations.	或者为什么人们加入恐怖组织。
2137	They join it because they want to be part of something.	他们加入,因为他们想参与其中
2138	Not because they're bad people.	不是因为他们是坏人
2139	I want to feel like I'm part of a group.	我想感觉自己是一群人的一部分
2140	And so this makes me feel relevant, which is fine.	这让我觉得很贴切,这很好。
2141	But to a degree, you also have to have	但在某种程度上,你还必须拥有
2142	your sovereignty as a person.	你作为一个人的主权。
2143	We want to be part of something	我们想参与其中
2144	because we don't want to be out there alone out there.	因为我们不想一个人在外面
2145	But you don't have to be alone out there.	但你不必一个人在外面
2146	But we hitch ourselves to these narratives.	但是,我们只是顺从于这些叙事。
2147	And now my identity is I'm a survivor of this.	现在,我的身份是 我是这个幸存者。
2148	I am someone who's experienced this.	我是经历过这种事的人
2149	It's like, no, those are things that happened to me,	这就像,不, 那些事情发生在我身上,
2150	but they are not who I am.	但他们不是我
2151	I'm an evolving thing.	我是一个进化的东西。
2152	I called my book Becoming Bulletproof	我把我的书叫做"防弹"
2153	because I am always becoming.	因为我总是变成这样
2154	I'm becoming more.	我变了
2155	I'm evolving.	我在进化
2156	We don't stop.	我们不停止。
2157	I don't want to stop.	我不想停下来。
2158	I'm never going to get to a point where I know everything.	我永远不会得到一个点,我知道的一切。
2159	Every day I learn something.	我每天都在学东西
2160	What was the most interesting day of your career?	你职业生涯中最有趣的一天是什么?
2161	When I say interesting, the day that you think about	当我说有趣的时候,你想到的那一天
2162	and go, Jesus, that was like awesome.	去吧,耶稣,那就像真棒。
2163	Well, that was from a movie.	嗯,这是从电影。
2164	So I have, I can give you a story,	所以,我可以给你一个故事,
2165	which I don't think I've shared.	我觉得自己没有分享过
2166	So because I didn't look like an agent,	因为我看起来不像经纪人
2167	I would get pulled in for a lot of undercover stuff,	我会被拉进来 很多卧底的东西,
2168	which I loved.	我喜欢的
2169	It was fun, scary.	很有趣,吓人
2170	But because I never got pegged for an agent,	但因为我从未被定位为特工
2171	like I always felt super safe.	就像我总是觉得超级安全。
2172	So I did this one thing where it was another undercover case	所以我做了一件事,这是另一个卧底的案子
2173	where they came to me and we were working with NYPD.	他们来找我 我们和纽约警局合作
2174	It wasn't my case, but they wanted me,	这不是我的案子,但他们想要我
2175	there was this organized crime ring.	有一个有组织的犯罪圈。
2176	I think they were Albanian	我觉得他们是阿尔巴尼亚人
2177	and they were selling passports,	他们卖护照,
2178	original passports and birth certificates to terrorists.	恐怖分子的护照和出生证原件。
2179	This is, and so they're selling it to them	这是,所以他们卖给他们
2180	to help them come into the US	帮助他们进入美国
2181	and to other, other people who are bad actors.	以及其他人,谁是坏演员。
2182	So we, the agencies get wind of this	所以,我们,机构得到风 这一点
2183	and they want to get these guys,	他们想抓住这些人
2184	this guy specifically with this organized crime ring.	这家伙特别 与这个有组织犯罪团伙。
2185	They're trying to figure out how to get in	他们想想办法进去
2186	because they were so good at what they did,	因为他们很擅长他们的行为,
2187	like you couldn't get them.	就像你拿不到一样
2188	So they wanted me to go in undercover	所以他们想让我去卧底
2189	and pretend to be someone who needed paperwork.	假装是需要文件的人
2190	So they're trying to figure out how do we do it.	所以他们想找出我们该怎么做
2191	So the idea we came up with was I would be someone	所以,我们想出的想法是 我会成为一个人
2192	who had been sex trafficked from an Eastern Bloc country	从东布洛克州被贩卖的
2193	because I can pass for it.	因为我可以通过它。
2194	So I started talking on the phone.	于是我开始打电话
2195	I was introduced in through another undercover	我是通过另一个卧底介绍的
2196	and talking to him on the phone	和他在电话里说话
2197	and I had to develop an Eastern Bloc accent.	我不得不发展出一个东布洛克口音。
2198	I need my papers.	我需要我的证件。
2199	They brought me here from my country	他们从我的国家带我来的
2200	because when they sex traffic people in,	因为当他们做爱 贩卖人口,
2201	the first thing they do when they lure you in	当他们引诱你进来时,他们做的第一件事
2202	is they'll take your paperwork from you.	他们会从你那里拿走你的文件
2203	And they, and you can't even get a cell phone here	还有他们,你连手机都拿不到
2204	in the US without paperwork.	在美国,没有文件。
2205	So they take your stuff	所以他们拿走了你的东西
2206	and then they put you either to do sex traffic,	然后他们让你要么做性交易,
2207	sex work or work in strip clubs or both	性工作或在脱衣舞俱乐部或两者兼有
2208	till you pay off your debt for them bringing to America.	直到你还清你的债务 因为他们带美国。
2209	So I pretended to be one of those.	所以我假装是其中之一。
2210	So I, you know, under that premise, I have no paperwork	所以我,你知道,在这个前提下, 我没有文件
2211	so I can't get an apartment.	所以我不能得到一个公寓。
2212	I can't get anything.	我什么也拿不来
2213	I'm at the mercy of these traffickers,	我受这些贩子的摆布
2214	which until I pay my dues, which you never do by the way,	直到我支付我的会费, 你从来没有这样做,
2215	they keep you locked in.	他们把你锁在里面
2216	And then they make them afraid	然后让他们害怕
2217	and they tell them if you say anything,	他们告诉他们,如果你说什么,
2218	they're gonna deport you back, which actually is not true.	他们要把你遣送回去 这不是真的
2219	However, so I take on this role.	然而,我承担这个角色。
2220	I start talking to this guy.	我开始跟这家伙说话
2221	I need papers.	我需要证件。
2222	I please, they take my papers.	我求你了 他们拿走了我的证件
2223	How much for new papers?	新报纸多少钱?
2224	How do you line this accent?	你怎么用这种口音?
2225	Did you just go on my own?	你只是一个人去?
2226	I started acting and then plus my parents are immigrants.	我开始演戏 再加上我父母是移民
2227	I grew up in New York and Queens.	我在纽约和皇后区长大的
2228	So I just picked them up, but I practice it.	所以我刚刚捡起来,但我练习它。
2229	And I had to be good because if you're not good,	我一定要乖 因为如果你不乖
2230	you get a bullet to the head when you meet this guy.	当你遇到这个家伙时 头部会中子弹
2231	So you have to live in reality	所以你必须活在现实中
2232	because my life is also on the line.	因为我的生命也是在线上。
2233	And so I have these phone calls with them.	所以我有这些电话与他们。
2234	He agrees, okay, I'll meet with you.	他同意,好吧,我会见你。
2235	So my first meeting is passport photos.	我第一次见面是护照照片
2236	I had to go get passport photos.	我得去拿护照照片
2237	I go meet him.	我去见他
2238	And I remember when I met him at his,	我记得在他身边遇见他时
2239	I think he did construction was the outside thing he did.	我想他做的建筑是外在的事
2240	We meet him.	我们遇见他。
2241	I mean, I'm in like dress clothes.	我是说,我穿的像衣服
2242	I'm dressing like as a very young woman,	我穿得像个年轻女人
2243	but I also had to put on sneakers	但我还得穿上运动鞋
2244	because I'm like, hey, if this guy has to do something,	因为我喜欢,嘿, 如果这家伙必须做一些事情,
2245	I need to be able to run.	我需要能够运行。
2246	So I meet him.	我遇见他
2247	I bring my passport photos.	我带了护照照片
2248	I go to this location that's a front.	我到前面这个地方去
2249	Hi, I'm here to see, I don't remember the guy's name.	嗨,我在这里看到, 我不记得这家伙的名字。
2250	They're like, oh, no, he's not here.	他们喜欢,哦,不,他不在这里。
2251	You'll have to wait for him.	你必须等他。
2252	So they play with me for a little while.	所以他们跟我玩一会儿
2253	Everyone's watching me from the outside,	大家都从外面看着我
2254	but I have no wire on.	但我没有电线。
2255	And we debated whether I should have a wire or not or a gun.	我们辩论我是否应该有线还是枪
2256	And I chose to take nothing.	我选择什么都不拿
2257	So I've got nothing with me, which makes me more vulnerable.	我身上一无所有 这让我更脆弱
2258	But my concern was if they put me through a metal detector	但我的担心是 如果他们把我通过金属探测器
2259	or they checked me, that would be worse	或者他们检查我,那会更糟
2260	because now I'm in their home	因为现在我在他们家里
2261	and like they'll just off me right off the bat.	他们就会把我从球棒上扔下来
2262	So I'm sitting there and I'm waiting.	所以我坐在那里等着
2263	He finally comes and he tries to lure me into his car.	他终于来了,并试图引诱我进入他的车。
2264	And I had been briefed, whatever you do,	无论你做什么,我都听取了简报
2265	you don't get into a car with this guy.	你不能和这家伙上车
2266	So I don't get in the car and I'm like, no, no, no, no,	所以我不上车 我就像,不,不,不,不,不
2267	I don't get into a car.	我不上车。
2268	He's like, no, we need to talk private.	他就像,不,我们需要谈谈私人。
2269	Now I have eyes on me and I want to make sure the agents	现在我看到自己了 我想确认一下特工们
2270	and everybody can see me.	每个人都能看到我
2271	So there's this back and forth where I'm like,	所以,有这个 前后我喜欢,
2272	please, I afraid, I don't want to go into the car.	请,我怕,我不想上车。
2273	He has passport photos.	他有护照照片
2274	I gave him, I think it was five Gs.	我给了他,我想是5G
2275	I gave him an envelope of five grand.	我给了他五千块的信封
2276	Here's the five grand.	这是五千块
2277	He's like, okay, come back in like two weeks.	他就像,好吧,回来 像两个星期。
2278	And he's like, maybe you'll get in my car.	他就像,也许你会得到我的车。
2279	So I come back like two weeks later, same story.	所以我像两周后回来 同一个故事。
2280	I meet him.	我遇见他。
2281	I get my passports.	我拿到护照了
2282	He gave me a Polish passport.	他给我一本波兰护照
2283	I won't forget, it was a real authentic Polish passport	我不会忘记,这是一本真正的波兰护照
2284	and a birth certificate and all that.	和出生证明等等
2285	And I'm like, the deal was though,	而我喜欢, 交易虽然,
2286	I needed more transactions with this guy	我需要更多的交易 与这家伙
2287	because the more you get, the longer you can put them away.	因为你得到的越多, 你越可以把它们收起来。
2288	But he was so good.	但他很厉害
2289	We couldn't get anything that we knew he had done.	我们得不到任何我们知道他做过的事
2290	So I'm like, hey, I have more friends.	所以我喜欢,嘿, 我有更多的朋友。
2291	Can I send you more girls?	我可以给你多送些女孩吗?
2292	I'll bring you more girls.	我会给你带来更多的女孩。
2293	Oh yeah.	对
2294	So then I start bringing him more girls.	所以我开始给他带来更多的女孩。
2295	Who are these girls?	这些女孩是谁?
2296	Other undercovers, other undercover female agents	其他卧底,其他卧底女特工
2297	and cops.	还有警察
2298	We had NYPD play.	我们有纽约警局的演出
2299	And so we go in and we're doing this buying	所以我们进去买东西
2300	and selling transactions, transactions till we got enough	和销售交易,交易 直到我们得到足够的
2301	to get the US attorney to say, yes, we got them.	让美国律师说,是的,我们得到了他们。
2302	And then they went in and they took them down.	然后他们进去,然后把他们拿下来。
2303	That was pretty interesting.	这很有趣。
2304	Were you scared at any point?	你害怕吗?
2305	I was not because I always felt safe	我不是因为我总是觉得安全
2306	in that nobody even ever thought I was a cop.	连我当警察都没想到
2307	Nobody ever thought I was an agent.	没人以为我是经纪人
2308	I didn't look like one.	我看起来像一个。
2309	I didn't speak like one.	我没有说话像一个。
2310	So I felt very safe.	所以我觉得非常安全。
2311	On that point, because you don't look like an agent,	在这一点上,因为你看起来不像经纪人
2312	I understand how that's useful for the going undercover,	我知道这对卧底有什么用
2313	but it's got to lead people to underestimate you	但总得让人低估你
2314	in your professional career.	在你的职业生涯。
2315	Yes.	对
2316	And a lot of people that I've spoken to,	我和很多人谈过
2317	I was speaking at a women's leadership conference	我在一次妇女领导会议上发言
2318	about a week ago in London.	大约一周前在伦敦
2319	And lots of the questions from the audience	观众问了很多问题
2320	were about that subject, about being underestimated	是关于这个话题, 关于被低估
2321	and how to deal with that.	和如何应对这一点。
2322	It was a DEI conference,	这是一次DEI会议,
2323	so diversity, equity, inclusion conference.	所以多样性,公平,包容的会议。
2324	Lots of people that are black, lots of people that are women,	很多人是黑人,很多人是女人,
2325	lots of people that are from different sort of minority	很多人来自不同的少数
2326	groups.	组合。
2327	And the question came up about being underestimated	问题是被低估了
2328	because of your skin color, because of your gender,	因为你的肤色, 因为你的性别,
2329	because of something else.	因为别的东西。
2330	How do you deal with that?	你怎么处理?
2331	And it's something that I thought a lot about	这也是我常想的
2332	when I started in business at 18 years old	当我18岁开始做生意时
2333	as a university dropout.	作为大学退学。
2334	I'm going into rooms and I'm dealing with men	我要进房间和男人打交道
2335	that are all in suits and they're triple my age.	他们都穿西装 而且比我大三倍
2336	I'm 18.	我18岁。
2337	I know they're looking at me with my Afro, my fake tie,	我知道他们正用我的Afro 假领带看着我
2338	like my little cheap tie,	像我的小便宜领带,
2339	thinking, who the fuck is this guy?	想想看,这家伙到底是谁?
2340	But have you seen that underestimation of you	可是你有没有看到这么低估你
2341	as a disadvantage or an advantage?	作为劣势还是优势?
2342	It's how you choose to view it.	这是你选择如何看待它。
2343	I remember once I was in Africa.	我记得我曾经在非洲。
2344	Where was I?	我说到哪儿了?
2345	Botswana.	博茨瓦纳。
2346	Where I was born.	我所生之处.
2347	You were born in Botswana?	你出生在博茨瓦纳?
2348	卡普林(英语:Capurin).
2349	I spent a whole month.	我花了整整一个月
2350	I've been to Africa a lot.	我去过非洲很多。
2351	I loved Botswana.	我爱博茨瓦纳
2352	I remember I had to close the windows at the hotel	我记得我不得不关闭酒店的窗户
2353	because they said, the monkeys come in.	因为他们说 猴子进来了
2354	And I was like, monkeys?	我就像,猴子吗?
2355	I thought it was cool though.	我觉得这很酷
2356	I was like, no, I'll leave them open.	我当时想,不,我会让他们打开。
2357	They're like, no, no, you don't want the monkeys	他们就像,不,不,你不要猴子
2358	coming in your room.	在你的房间。
2359	So I spent a lot of time at Botswana.	所以我花了很多时间在博茨瓦纳。
2360	And I was there with, I did a trip where I went	我在那里,我做了一个旅行,我去了
2361	from Botswana to Tanzania and I was with Barbara,	从博茨瓦纳到坦桑尼亚 我和芭芭拉在一起
2362	excuse me, Laura Bush, the daughter,	对不起 劳拉·布什 那个女儿
2363	President Bush's daughter.	布什总统的女儿
2364	She was doing some work there, nonprofit work.	她在那里做一些工作, 非营利工作。
2365	And when I was her, it's called an assistant detail leader.	当我是她的时候,它被称为助理细节领导。
2366	So I was kind of like her main person	所以我有点像她的主要人物
2367	and then I had a team under me.	然后,我有一个团队在我下面。
2368	So I have my team and I'm holding a briefing.	所以我有我的团队,我举行一个简报。
2369	I'm in charge.	我负责
2370	And we're in the hotel room.	我们在酒店房间
2371	We're there to meet before our trip starts.	出发前我们会在那里见面的
2372	So they sent me agents from different parts of the world.	他们从世界各地派来了我
2373	They come in and the first agent that walked in,	他们进来了,第一个进来的探员
2374	I was by myself in the room.	我一个人在房间里
2375	First agent walked in.	第一探员进来了
2376	He's like, hey, oh, hey, hi, how are you?	他就像,嘿,哦,嘿,你好吗?
2377	I'm like, oh, good, how are you?	我很好,你好吗?
2378	He said, are you with the staff?	他说,你和员工在一起吗?
2379	Are you an intern?	你是实习生吗?
2380	Because if the staff's office is down the hall,	因为如果工作人员办公室在大厅下面
2381	if you want to go to the staff's office,	如果你想去员工办公室
2382	I'll show you where it is.	我会告诉你在哪里。
2383	You know, so I don't show it.	你知道,所以我不显示它。
2384	So I keep my face and I said, no,	所以我保持我的脸 我说,不,
2385	I'm actually agent Pampuris.	我是潘普里斯探员
2386	I'm the one who's holding the briefing.	我是那个举行通报会的人
2387	Hi, good to meet you.	嗨,很高兴见到你。
2388	Meaning I'm your supervisor for this trip.	意思是我是你的上级
2389	And he's like, oh, okay, hi, nice to meet you.	他就像,哦,好吧,嗨,很高兴见到你。
2390	Now I could sit there and be pissed about this	现在我可以坐在那里,为这个生气
2391	or I can just leave it.	或者我可以离开它。
2392	Sometimes like Stephen, like who cares?	有时候像史蒂芬, 谁在乎呢?
2393	Like who cares?	像谁在乎?
2394	I can't care so much.	我可没这么在乎
2395	There's some things you need to care about	有些事情你需要关心
2396	and some things you don't.	和一些你没有的东西。
2397	And as you were talking about, you know, who we are,	当你在谈论,你知道,我们是谁,
2398	when I went to poly school.	当我去多科学校。
2399	What's poly school?	什么是综合学校?
2400	I'm sorry, polygraph school.	对不起,测谎学校。
2401	It's where I went to the Department of Defense	我去过国防部
2402	to be trained to be an interrogator.	被训练成为审讯者。
2403	It was a really selective school.	那是个很有选择性的学校。
2404	And it was like the who's who of agencies were there.	这就像谁是谁 谁的机构在那里。
2405	And we were all in the classroom.	我们都在课堂上。
2406	And I remember I was walking with a colleague of mine.	我记得我和我的一位同事一起走
2407	We'll call him Kay.	我们叫他凯
2408	Kay and I are walking and we're walking back to our hotel.	凯和我正在走 我们正走回旅馆
2409	It's just he and I.	只是他和我之间。
2410	And he was quiet.	他很安静
2411	I'm like, Kay, what's wrong?	我像,凯,怎么了?
2412	And he's like, he's like, you know what?	他喜欢,他喜欢,你知道吗?
2413	He's like, I don't know.	他喜欢,我不知道。
2414	He's like, it's just like the group of people.	他就像,这就像人群。
2415	And he was an agent.	他是一个特工。
2416	He was a Secret Service agent.	他是特勤局的探员
2417	I was like, he's like, did you notice?	我好像,他一样,你注意到了吗?
2418	Like, did you take toll of the room?	喜欢,你占用了房间吗?
2419	I'm like, what about the room?	我很喜欢,怎么样的房间?
2420	He said, you know, I'm the only black guy in the room.	他说,你知道,我是 唯一的黑人在房间里。
2421	And I was just like, and I paused.	我就像,我停下来。
2422	And we had been there like maybe a couple of weeks already.	我们在那里大概已经几个星期了。
2423	And I'm like, I stopped.	然后我就停下来了
2424	I said, I had to do the mental assessment.	我说,我不得不做精神评估。
2425	I was like, yeah, Kay, you're right, you are.	是的,凯,你说得对,你是对的
2426	And he looked at me, he's like,	他看着我,他像,
2427	you're the only female agent in the room too.	你是房间里唯一的女特工
2428	And I was like, am I?	我当时想,是吗?
2429	And I stopped and did a mental assessment.	我停下来做了心理评估
2430	I was like, yeah, you're right.	我很喜欢,是的,你是对的。
2431	And it made me sad in that moment	那一刻让我难过
2432	because I'm thinking like, look at what Kay's thinking about	因为我在想,看看凯在想什么
2433	and I hadn't even thought about it.	我甚至都没想过
2434	And what ended up happening is like,	最后发生的事情是
2435	I would invite him out.	我会邀请他出来。
2436	I'm like, Kay, come on, we're going with the guys.	我像,凯,来吧,我们去的家伙。
2437	He's like, but they don't invite me.	他喜欢,但他们不邀请我。
2438	I'm like, dude, you don't need a special invite.	你不需要特别邀请
2439	They don't invite me either.	他们也不邀请我。
2440	We just go.	我们只是走了。
2441	And because he built this narrative in his head	福
2442	because he thought, he thought,	因为他想,他想,
2443	because he was different or I was different,	因为他与众不同或我与众不同
2444	we weren't wanted.	我们不是被通缉的
2445	Makes you show up different, doesn't it?	让你变了,不是吗?
2446	You show up different.	你出现的时候不一样
2447	And he was such a great guy, such a competent guy.	他是个好人,很能干
2448	And I would actually sit there, I'm like, Kay,	我其实会坐在那里,我就像,凯,
2449	I'm like, nobody's thinking like that.	我很喜欢,没有人这样想。
2450	And there was a group of guys that were with us	有一群人和我们在一起
2451	that were Secret Service guys.	他们都是特勤局的人
2452	And I was like, I am telling you,	我当时想,我告诉你,
2453	these guys are not thinking about you're black,	这些家伙不是在想你是黑人
2454	I'm a woman.	我是个女人。
2455	I don't think they give a shit.	我觉得他们根本不在乎
2456	And he's like, I don't know.	而他喜欢,我不知道。
2457	He's like, I don't want to just show up.	他喜欢,我不想 只是出现。
2458	I'm like, I do.	我很喜欢,我做的。
2459	I ask him every day, what are we having for dinner?	我每天都问他 我们吃什么?
2460	I don't want to eat alone.	不独食.
2461	And I would have to go knock on his door.	我会去敲他的门。
2462	And I remember it came to a point, he's like,	我还记得它有一个重点,他像,
2463	I want them to invite me.	我要他们邀请我
2464	And I had to go to the guys,	我不得不去找他们
2465	I'm like, can you guys do me a solid?	我很喜欢,你们能帮我一个坚实的?
2466	Can you invite Kay?	你能邀请凯吗?
2467	Because he thinks I'm inviting him.	因为他以为我在邀请他
2468	And I guess it's not enough to have the woman invite you.	我想这还不够 让女人邀请你
2469	I was like, can you invite him?	我当时想,你能邀请他吗?
2470	Because he feels like you guys don't want him.	因为他觉得你们不想要他
2471	And they looked at me like, what?	他们看着我,什么?
2472	I was like, just go knock on his door,	我当时想,只是去敲他的门,
2473	tell him we're having dinner tonight.	告诉他我们今晚要吃晚饭
2474	But he had set himself up mentally in such a space	但他在这样的空间里 把自己安置在精神上
2475	and he lived there.	他住在这里。
2476	And I was like, man, I can't live here.	我当时想,伙计,我不能住在这里。
2477	It's interesting because it begs the question sometimes,	这很有趣,因为有时候它会问问题
2478	what's doing more harm?	何谓更害.
2479	The discrimination or the belief	歧视或信仰
2480	that you're being discriminated against?	你被歧视了吗?
2481	Sometimes it's, I'm black, you're a woman.	有时候,我是黑人,你是女人
2482	I often wondered this in my early creative,	我常常在早期的创意中想知道这一点,
2483	I had a really adverse reaction one day	有一天我反应很不好
2484	when I saw this grant that they did.	当我看到这笔赠款 他们做到了。
2485	I was 18, 19 years old, had no money.	我18,19岁,没有钱。
2486	And I saw that they were doing this grant	我看见他们做了这个捐赠
2487	for young black entrepreneurs.	给年轻的黑人企业家。
2488	And there was something about it which just irked me.	有些东西让我很烦恼
2489	I don't know why, I've never really understood why,	我不知道为什么 我不知道为什么
2490	but I wanted to be considered on my merits,	但我想被考虑 我的优点,
2491	that's not my skin color.	这不是我的皮肤颜色。
2492	So when I saw that they were giving out these grants	所以当我看到他们发放这些赠款时
2493	to young black kids, you would think I'd go,	对年轻的黑人孩子, 你会认为我会去,
2494	amazing, give me the money.	太棒了,把钱给我
2495	But in my head, I was like, I hate that.	但在我的脑海里,我恨那。
2496	I hate that because it's a reminder	我讨厌因为那是提醒
2497	that it's like them thinking,	就像他们想的那样
2498	and I think this is a super complex thing, right?	我觉得这是件非常复杂的事情,对吧?
2499	For me, it was like, they think I'm not good enough	对我来说,他们觉得我不够好
2500	so they have to give me a foot up.	所以他们必须给我一脚。
2501	I know it's deeper and it's more systemic,	我知道它更深 更系统化,
2502	but I've always tried to stay away from that,	但我一直试图远离那,
2503	especially when I learned about labeling theory,	尤其是当我学会了标签理论
2504	which you see play out in kids in school	孩子们在学校里玩耍
2505	when they get like an F on an exam,	当他们得到像F 在考试,
2506	the implicit sort of message to themself	暗含的给他们自己的信息
2507	is that like, I am an F.	我是一个F。
2508	And when you overlay that with the thing	当你用那东西来掩盖
2509	I was reading about called stereotype threat,	我读到所谓的刻板印象威胁,
2510	where they like remind a woman before a math exam,	他们喜欢在数学考试前提醒女人
2511	they ask her to put her like gender on the math exam	他们要求她像性别一样 在数学考试中
2512	and then she performs worse,	然后她表现得更糟
2513	or they remind a black person about their race	或者他们提醒一个黑人 关于他们的种族
2514	by asking them to tick a box with their race	要求他们用他们的种族来勾选一个盒子
2515	and then those people perform worse on the exam	然后那些人在考试上表现更差
2516	because we're reminded of our identity	因为我们被提醒 我们的身份
2517	and all of the identity stuff that you talked about,	和所有身份的东西 你谈论,
2518	we then perform worse.	然后我们表现得更糟。
2519	I've always tried to make sure that I don't ever believe	我一直试图确保 我从来没有相信
2520	that my race is a reason not to show up	我的种族是不能出现的原因
2521	and give everything I am in every situation.	把我身处的每况愈下
2522	And I can see how for some people,	我看得出来对有些人来说
2523	anything that someone might discriminate you for	任何可能有人歧视你的东西
2524	can also cause harm if you start to believe it,	如果你开始相信,也会造成伤害,
2525	you start to embody it, you start to look for it,	你开始表现它, 你开始寻找它,
2526	and you let it become real in your mind.	你却让它成为现实
2527	This is not to say that objectively	这不是说客观上
2528	discrimination and prejudice isn't real.	歧视和偏见不是真实的。
2529	I've always been well aware that it's real,	我一直都知道这是真的
2530	but as you said earlier,	但正如你刚才所说,
2531	I'm also of the mind that it's not my problem	我也觉得这不关我的事
2532	in that moment to try and change someone.	在那一刻 尝试改变某人。
2533	Yes, and I get what you're saying.	是的,我明白你说的
2534	Labeling theory, we use it in criminal justice too.	标签理论,我们在刑事司法中也使用它。
2535	When you label somebody a criminal or an offender	当你给罪犯或罪犯贴上标签
2536	and you put that label on them,	你把标签放在他们身上,
2537	they are more likely to re-offend again	他们更有可能再次犯罪
2538	because you're just reminding me	因为你只是提醒我
2539	that I'm just a bad person, so if that's what I am,	我只是一个坏人, 所以如果这就是我是什么,
2540	that's what I'm gonna think like.	我会这么想的
2541	And I will tell you, every time somebody asks me,	我会告诉你 每次有人问我
2542	like, what was it like being a female special agent?	像,它是什么感觉 作为一个女性特务?
2543	I always get like a teeny tiny pang.	我总是变得像一个小小庞克。
2544	And I wanna be like, how many dudes do you sit in this chair	我想成为这样的, 你有多少人坐在这椅子上
2545	and ask them, was it like being an agent?	问他们,这是像当经纪人吗?
2546	Why do I get that?	我为什么要知道?
2547	I was an agent, I earned it.	我是一个经纪人,我应得的。
2548	I earned it like everybody.	我像大家一样挣来的
2549	And I also had to perform like everybody.	我也得像大家一样表演
2550	And yes, it implies like, and you hear it sometimes,	是的,这意味着, 你听到它有时,
2551	or sometimes like maybe you'll read like,	或有时喜欢 也许你会读像,
2552	I'll see an interview of mine and you'll see	我会看到我的采访 你会看到
2553	token hire or female, you know, how would they word it?	代币雇佣或女性, 你知道,他们会怎么说呢?
2554	Like, oh, you could tell she was a female hire.	像,哦,你可以告诉 她是一个女性雇佣。
2555	And you just wanna be like,	而你只是想成为,
2556	I'm not gonna give the finger because we're being PG here,	我不会给手指 因为我们是PG在这里,
2557	even though we've cursed a few times,	尽管我们已经诅咒了几次,
2558	but I just wanna flip the board.	但我只想翻转板子
2559	It's like, dude, like you don't know	就像,伙计,就像你不知道
2560	what I went through to be that.	我所经历的就是这样
2561	Don't give me a handout.	别施舍.
2562	I want an opportunity, fine, but I'm gonna own it.	我想要一个机会,很好, 但我会拥有它。
2563	And even in training, they had, you know,	即使在训练中,他们,你知道,
2564	and I have talked about this before,	我以前也说过这个
2565	in training, like I found out they had male standards	就像我发现他们有男性标准一样
2566	and female standards for performance.	以及女性的表现标准。
2567	Oh yeah, military too.	哦,是的,军队也是。
2568	There's different schools on this.	这上面有不同的学校
2569	So I, according to this, I don't have to run as fast	因此,根据这个,我不用跑这么快
2570	as the guy, according to these standards.	根据这些标准,作为男人。
2571	According to these standards, I don't have to do	根据这些标准,我不用做
2572	as many pull-ups or push-ups.	和许多拉拉或俯卧撑。
2573	I didn't know this when I got hired.	我被雇佣时不知道
2574	I find out later because some agent in training	我晚点才知道,因为有些特工在训练
2575	made sure that I knew, hey, just so you know,	确保我知道,嘿, 只是让你知道,
2576	you got special treatment to get here.	你有特殊的治疗 来到这里。
2577	And I'm thinking, what are you talking about?	我在想,你在说什么?
2578	They're like, well, the standards that we have to meet	他们就像,嗯,我们必须遵守的标准
2579	and that you have to meet are not the same.	而你们必须相遇的 不一样
2580	Clearly, I'm not happy about this.	显然,我对此不满意。
2581	I find out, I get the male standards,	我发现,我得到了男性标准,
2582	and I'm like, I felt horrible.	我觉得很可怕
2583	I remember when they told me this.	我记得他们告诉我的
2584	I went to my room that night and I felt horrible about it.	那晚我去了我的房间 感觉很恐怖
2585	And I'm thinking, there's a part of me that's like,	我在想,我有一个部分 就像,
2586	fuck these guys.	他妈的这些人。
2587	How dare you talk to me like that?	你怎么敢这样跟我说话?
2588	I have just as much a right to be here as you.	我和你一样有权来这里
2589	And then there's another part of me that's like,	然后还有我的另一部分,就像,
2590	oh, they're right.	哦,他们是对的。
2591	So I was like, well, I was like,	所以我想,嗯,我说,
2592	I'm gonna have to perform like they do.	我要像他们一样表演
2593	And so I just started, Steven, like working out	所以我才开始,史蒂芬,像工作
2594	like a maniac.	像个疯子
2595	And I was like, I don't wanna hear anything from anybody.	而我想,我不想听到任何人的任何消息。
2596	And I worked out and I worked out and I worked out	我工作,我工作,我工作,我工作
2597	晨夜 and.
2598	So I was like, I'm gonna be at their level.	所以我想,我要去 在他们的水平。
2599	I'm gonna score what they score.	我要得他们得的分
2600	But I will also tell you,	但我也会告诉你,
2601	cause there were a couple of girls in my class,	因为我班里有好几个女孩
2602	like maybe another one or two, I can't remember.	比如说,我不记得了。
2603	They didn't care.	他们根本不在乎
2604	They were fine with the female standards.	她们跟女性标准没什么两样
2605	So I've seen both.	所以,我已经看到两者。
2606	I've seen both.	我见过两个
2607	I'm not judging them.	我不是在评判他们
2608	I chose my own path.	我选择了自己的道路。
2609	But I've also seen it where I've seen,	但我也见过它 我见过的地方,
2610	and I can, I'm just speaking from the female standard,	我可以,我只是说 从女性标准,
2611	where a woman was okay, who is an agent,	在那里,一个女人没事, 谁是一个代理人,
2612	not being able to do a pull-up.	无法进行拉动。
2613	And I'm thinking like, that's no good either.	我在想,这也不是好事
2614	It's complex, isn't it?	这很复杂,不是吗?
2615	Because it's, when we have these conversations,	因为,当我们有这些谈话,
2616	it always sounds like we're saying that	听起来我们总是这么说
2617	prejudice and discrimination aren't very real things.	偏见和歧视并不是真正的事物。
2618	But what we're saying is we're like,	但是,我们说的是,我们喜欢,
2619	not gonna make them our problem.	不会让他们成为我们的问题。
2620	It's not my identity.	这不是我的身份。
2621	Yeah.	对
2622	It's your problem.	这是你的问题。
2623	If that's part of you, that's, you know,	如果这是你的一部分,这就是,你知道,
2624	and I'm not gonna commit my very limited energy	我不会投入我有限的能量
2625	to fixing everybody I meet.	修复我遇到的每个人。
2626	It's like, Jesus Christ, I've got enough stuff	就像,耶稣基督,我有足够的东西
2627	to be thinking about than fixing everybody	考虑的比修复每个人
2628	and correcting everybody,	并责备众人,
2629	which some people fall into the trap of that.	一些人陷入了这种陷阱。
2630	They go around their lives trying to fix the world,	他们环绕自己的生活 试图修复世界,
2631	and you can't get much done.	你做不来太多
2632	How tiring is that?	这有多累?
2633	How exhausting is that?	多么累人吗?
2634	And how mentally draining?	精神如何消耗?
2635	And how, even just emotionally,	和如何,即使只是情感上,
2636	like, what does that do to your soul	就像,那对你的灵魂有什么影响
2637	that you're trying to fix that?	你想弥补吗?
2638	Who are you fighting?	你在打谁?
2639	I guess that's, who are you fighting?	我猜那是,你在跟谁打?
2640	I'm not gonna, maybe if you're sovereign in here	我不会,也许如果你是主权在这里
2641	and you know, you show, I feel like you show people.	而且你知道,你显示, 我感觉你显示的人。
2642	I'm not, I know those things exist.	我没有 我知道那些东西存在
2643	I know it.	我知道这一点。
2644	My parents were immigrants.	我的父母是移民。
2645	My dad, like, he would always peg for Middle Eastern,	我爸爸,喜欢,他总是 挂中东,
2646	and he had, even though he was Greek,	虽然他是希腊人,
2647	and he had a really heavy accent,	他有一个非常重的口音,
2648	I saw how people treated him, even as a man,	我看到人们如何对待他, 即使作为一个男人,
2649	but, like, seeing him, like, Middle Eastern,	但是,像,看到他一样,中东,
2650	dark tone, heavy accent.	深色的音调,重口音。
2651	Like, my brother and I,	喜欢,我和我哥哥,
2652	we'd go through, like, security at the airport.	我们会通过,像,机场的安全。
2653	He's like, we always knew he was gonna get pulled.	他就像,我们一直知道 他会被拉。
2654	He's like, who's going, you or me?	他喜欢,谁去,你还是我?
2655	And it would hurt my heart to see how he was treated.	看到他受到的待遇会让我心痛
2656	But you can't sit and fight everybody.	但你不能坐视不理地和所有人战斗
2657	Like, I'm not, the space you take up in the world is just,	喜欢,我不是, 你占据的空间 在世界上只是,
2658	and your time here, man, it's just so finite.	而你在这里的时间,伙计, 它只是如此有限。
2659	Fight who you need to fight if you have to fight.	你要打谁就打谁
2660	But, like, you have a choice, and I'm just too busy.	但是,喜欢,你有选择, 而我只是太忙。
2661	Like you, I have things to do.	像你一样,我有事情要做
2662	And I can't sit and waste my time on every buffoon	我不能坐着浪费我的时间去泡泡妞
2663	that comes my way, that's thinking and seeing me	来我的方式, 这是思考和看到我
2664	through a certain lens.	通过一定的镜头。
2665	Not my problem.	不关我的事
2666	Sometimes it is my problem, if it's my performance.	有时候,这是我的问题,如果 这是我的表演。
2667	So, like, with the scenario I gave you before, I get that.	所以,我之前给你的情景,我明白了。
2668	I get what they were saying.	我知道他们说什么
2669	Fair enough.	不错
2670	I'm not qualifying at the standards you are.	我不符合你的标准
2671	I'm gonna do it, but I don't wanna hear shit from anybody	我会做,但我不想听到任何人的狗屎
2672	once I do it.	一旦我做到这一点。
2673	But even then, Steven, I still heard shit.	但即使这样,史蒂芬,我还是听到狗屎。
2674	And that's when you know, you're the problem,	当你知道,你是问题所在,
2675	I'm not the problem.	我不是问题所在
2676	At some point, you have to be able to, like, write it off.	在某些时候,你必须能够,喜欢,注销它。
2677	It's interesting because the, you talked,	这很有趣,因为,你说话,
2678	you did a little gesture then, which was kind of,	你做了一个小姿态,然后, 这有点,
2679	it looked like you were making a little bubble	看起来你好像在泡泡
2680	around yourself.	在你身边。
2681	And that bubble is, in the way that I perceived it,	而那个泡沫,就我的看法来说,
2682	was like, I'm gonna just protect this space here.	我本来想保护这里的空间
2683	Because, you know, thinking about the border agent	因为,你知道, 思考边境特工
2684	that, like, pulls you into the back room for four hours,	把你拉进后门四个小时
2685	which happens to me quite a lot	我经常遇到这种事
2686	for a variety of different reasons.	由于各种不同的原因。
2687	I was actually in an article about it,	其实我在一篇关于它的文章,
2688	like, a couple of weeks, couple of months back,	像,几个星期, 几个月前,
2689	that I'd been pulled into this, like, back room	我被拉进这 一样,后室
2690	at Heathrow Airport over and over and over and over again.	在希斯罗机场 一遍又一遍地
2691	In the moments when I fight that situation,	在我与那种情况作斗争的时候
2692	I do so much harm to my own energy.	我对自己的能量伤害很大
2693	I'm, like, letting resentment in.	我一样,让怨恨英寸
2694	And it's so tempting because it, objectively,	这太诱人了 因为客观上
2695	probably is prejudice or some kind of, like, injustice.	可能是偏见或某种不公正
2696	But I have to be conscious, as you always talk about,	但我必须自觉 就像你常说的
2697	like, of that energy exchange.	像,能量交换。
2698	It's almost impossible to, like,	这几乎不可能,喜欢,
2699	do a one-way transfer of energy.	单向转移能量
2700	It's always, like, a two-way transfer.	常以二义转.
2701	I think you can.	我认为你可以。
2702	Like, I feel like it's your mental armor.	我觉得这是你的精神盔甲
2703	Like, that bubble.	就像那个泡泡一样
2704	Like, you can bubble wrap yourself.	喜欢,你可以泡包自己。
2705	You can look at somebody and be like,	你可以看着某人,就像,
2706	all right, I know what I got.	好吧,我知道我得到了什么。
2707	I don't have time because I'm busy.	我没有时间 因为我很忙。
2708	What do you need to ask me?	你要问我什么?
2709	Are we done?	说完了吗?
2710	Okay.	摆
2711	Because I do agree with you, sometimes if you fight it,	因为我同意你的观点 有时如果你反抗
2712	their perception is gonna be,	他们的感知会是,
2713	and I'm telling you because I'm former law enforcement,	我告诉你 因为我以前是执法部门
2714	they're thinking, oh, why is he escalating?	他们想,哦,他为什么升级?
2715	Oh, why is he this?	哦,他为什么这样?
2716	Why does he have a problem?	为什么他有问题?
2717	But from your standpoint, sure,	但从你的观点,当然,
2718	are they picking you for a specific reason?	他们挑你是为了什么?
2719	Chances are if it keeps happening to you over and over again,	如果它一直发生在你身上 一次又一次,
2720	oh yeah, there's something there.	哦,是的,有东西在那里。
2721	And there is something systemic there.	那里有系统的东西。
2722	I'm not dismissing that those things don't exist,	我不会否认那些东西不存在
2723	but it's also, like, how much energy are you gonna put in?	但它也一样, 你要投入多少能量?
2724	And I guess is the energy you're putting in	我想这是你投入的能量
2725	worth the outcome?	值得结果吗?
2726	That's all.	就这样
2727	Becoming bulletproof.	准备防弹了
2728	Life lessons from a Secret Service agent.	特勤局特工的人生课
2729	The quote on the front from Roger Alton	罗杰·奥尔顿的正面引用
2730	at The Daily Mail is part memoir,	《每日邮报》是部分回忆录
2731	part hugely entertaining self-help manual	部分巨大的娱乐 自助手册
2732	for these tough times.	对于这些艰难的时代。
2733	Protect yourself, read people,	保护自己,读书人,
2734	influence situations, and live fiercely.	影响局势, 并生活激烈。
2735	Become bulletproof.	变得防弹
2736	The paperback edition of this book is now available everywhere,	这本书的背书版现在到处都是
2737	and I think anybody that...	我认为任何人...
2738	Anybody that...	谁...
2739	listen to this conversation should have enough evidence as to why they need to read this book	听这段对话应该有足够的证据 说明为什么他们需要阅读这本书
2740	because it's a really, really accessible, important book that's full of incredible,	因为它是一本真正, 真正容易获得, 重要书籍充满了不可思议的,
2741	actionable advice that we can translate to the boardroom, to our relationships, to our lives	可行的建议,我们可以 翻译到会议室, 我们的关系, 我们的生活
2742	more broadly to enable us to become who we want to become.	更广义地让我们成为我们想要成为的人。
2743	We have a closing tradition on this	我们有一个封闭的传统
2744	podcast where the last guest leaves a question for the next guest not knowing who they're going to	播客最后一位嘉宾给下一个嘉宾留了个问号 不知道他们要找谁
2745	be leaving it for.	离开它。
2746	And the question that has been left for you inside the diary of a CEO is,	在首席执行官的日记里留给你的问题是
2747	what about your body health have you struggled with the most and what did you do to fix it or	你的身体健康 与最艰难 你做了什么来修复它或
2748	improve it?	改进它?
2749	After I gave birth because it was such a my body went through so much trauma	我生下孩子后,我的身体遭受了这么多的创伤
2750	I had to leave it alone and let it heal.	我不得不离开它 让它愈合。
2751	Oh you know what else I did when I was pregnant because	哦,你知道我怀孕时还做了什么
2752	I worked out my whole life the entire time I was pregnant I didn't work out.	我怀孕时就想出我整个人生 我都没想好
2753	So I guess listen to	所以,我猜听
2754	your body and give it what it needs it'll tell you.	你的身体,并给它需要的 它会告诉你。
2755	Evie非常感谢
2756	Thank you.	谢谢
2757	You're	琌
2758	for so many reasons that I think I'd be here all day if I went through the entire list.	这么多原因,我想我会在这里 一整天,如果我通过整个列表。
2759	You're an inspiration because of your vulnerability because of the way that you	你是一个灵感 因为你的弱点 因为你的方式
2760	articulate wisdom in such accessible, relatable ways to people and really you know you said you	以如此易懂,可重塑的方式向人们表达智慧,而你真的知道你说过你
2761	don't really like the word but unfortunately you are a role model to many people for many, many	不喜欢这个词 但不幸的是 你是一个榜样 很多人,很多人
2762	reasons because your life and your career are evidence to all of us that we can climb to the	因为你的生活和事业 证明了我们能攀登
2763	obstacles that are in our way and much of that comes down to the way that we perceive those	阻碍我们前进的障碍 以及我们看待这些障碍的方式
2764	obstacles and hurdles and also from speaking to you I realized that many of those obstacles	障碍和障碍, 也与你交谈, 我意识到很多这些障碍
2765	and hurdles that are in our way as we journey up that mountain have been placed there ourselves	以及我们上山时遇到的障碍
2766	by ourselves and I think that is an incredibly liberating thing.	由我们自己,我认为这是一个令人难以置信的解放的东西。
2767	Your book is a must read for	你的书是必读的
2768	all people for both men and women that are trying to climb their own personal professional mountain	所有男人和女人都想爬自己的职业山
2769	and become more as you said at the start of this conversation so thank you so much for your wisdom	就像你在谈话开始时说的 非常感谢你的智慧
2770	thank you for the work you're doing and thank you for the work you're doing and thank you for the work you're doing	感谢您的工作 感谢您的工作
2771	and thank you for the work you're doing and thank you for the work you're doing and thank you for the work you're doing	并且感谢您的工作 感谢您的工作,感谢您的工作

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