【人际成长】停止讨好！CLEAR法则帮你赢得尊重 · Cod

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P1 · 【人际成长】停止讨好！CLEAR法则帮你赢得尊重 · Codie Sanchez p01 中英字幕 (P1)

【人际成长】停止讨好！CLEAR法则帮你赢得尊重 · Codie Sanchez p01 中英字幕 (P1)

发布于 2026-11-03 · 时长 16:45

字幕摘录

时间	英文	中文
0:00	If you want to be a terrible leader and have nobody listen to you,	如果你想做一个可怕的领导, 没有人听你的,
0:03	the biggest mistake you can make isn't saying the wrong thing.	你最大的错误就是说错了
0:06	It's refusing to tell people the truth.	它拒绝告诉别人真相。
0:08	Every time you soften the feedback and let someone walk out believing	每次你软化反馈 让别人走出去相信
0:12	this looks good when it doesn't,	这看起来很好 当它不,
0:14	you're just avoiding the hard conversation that you eventually need to have.	你只是在逃避你最终需要的艰难对话
0:17	I'm going to give you a four-step framework that makes hard conversations easier,	我要给你一个四步框架 让硬话更容易说
0:21	and I'll show you the one conversation almost every leader avoids,	我会告诉你一个谈话 几乎每个领导避免,
0:24	even though it's the one their team or the people in their lives need the most.	即使这是他们的团队 或者他们生活中最需要的人
0:28	I'm Cody Sanchez.	我是科迪・桑切斯。

展开字幕全文（410 条）

序号	英文	中文
1	If you want to be a terrible leader and have nobody listen to you,	如果你想做一个可怕的领导, 没有人听你的,
2	the biggest mistake you can make isn't saying the wrong thing.	你最大的错误就是说错了
3	It's refusing to tell people the truth.	它拒绝告诉别人真相。
4	Every time you soften the feedback and let someone walk out believing	每次你软化反馈 让别人走出去相信
5	this looks good when it doesn't,	这看起来很好 当它不,
6	you're just avoiding the hard conversation that you eventually need to have.	你只是在逃避你最终需要的艰难对话
7	I'm going to give you a four-step framework that makes hard conversations easier,	我要给你一个四步框架 让硬话更容易说
8	and I'll show you the one conversation almost every leader avoids,	我会告诉你一个谈话 几乎每个领导避免,
9	even though it's the one their team or the people in their lives need the most.	即使这是他们的团队 或者他们生活中最需要的人
10	I'm Cody Sanchez.	我是科迪・桑切斯。
11	This is the Big Deal Podcast.	这是大交易的播客。
12	Let's get into it.	进曰.
13	If this show has ever saved you from a bad deal, a bad day, do me one favor.	如果这个节目曾拯救你 从一个坏交易,坏的一天, 帮我一个忙。
14	Hit subscribe.	点击订阅。
15	It's free.	自由无碍.
16	It takes two seconds,	需要两秒钟
17	and it's the single biggest thing that helps us book better guests and make this better for you.	这是最重要的事情 帮助我们订更好的客人 并让这个更好的为你。
18	All right.	好吧,我们走。
19	I want to start talking about this.	我想开始谈论这一点。
20	Call it the vanity test.	称虚空验.
21	There's one test you need to run before giving anyone feedback,	在给任何人反馈之前 你得做一个测试
22	and there's no one who ran this vanity test better than Steve Jobs.	没有人比史蒂夫·乔布斯更能做这个虚荣测试
23	There's an incredible story, basically.	基本上有个不可思议的故事
24	Steve had this designer named Johnny Ive,	史蒂夫有个设计师叫约翰尼·伊夫
25	and they were very close, but Steve was kind of a maniac.	他们很亲近 但史蒂夫是个疯子
26	I remember having a conversation with him and was asking why he was a little harsh,	我记得和他谈过话 问他为什么有点苛刻
27	and he said, no, you just want people to like you.	他说,不,你只是想让人们喜欢你。
28	I thought you held the work up as the most important,	我以为你把工作当作最重要的工作
29	and I was terribly cross because I knew he was right.	我非常的过分 因为我知道他是对的
30	I think great leaders, they build up people by saying the hard thing.	我认为伟大的领导者, 他们通过说硬的东西来培养人。
31	Bad leaders, they're so obsessed with their image and what people think about them	坏领导,他们如此迷恋 他们的形象和人们对他们的看法
32	that they don't realize why vanity is so dangerous.	他们不知道为什么虚荣如此危险
33	It looks like kindness, and it's not.	其貌似仁义,则不然.
34	The second thing I've realized is soft feedback is the cool option, actually.	我意识到的第二件事是软反馈,其实是很酷的选择。
35	Every time you soften the truth, I want you to think that you buy yourself a few seconds of comfort,	每次你软化真相,我希望你认为 你买自己几秒钟的舒适,
36	but you cost someone else weeks or months of improvement.	但你花了别人 几周或几个月的改善。
37	Who are you to make that decision?	你凭什么做这个决定?
38	Don't you want to be the type of leader who people leave	你难道不想成为人们离开的领袖吗?
39	their time with them and say, God, I learned so much.	他们和他们在一起的时间,说,上帝,我学到了很多。
40	That person made me better,	那个人让我好起来
41	as opposed to like, yeah, that was a pretty good boss.	而不是喜欢,是的, 这是一个相当好的老板。
42	I kind of liked him.	我有点喜欢他
43	He was fine.	他没事
44	So I was reading about Bill Gates the other day, and he famously loved conflict.	那天我在读比尔·盖茨 他喜欢冲突
45	He believed in doing these really aggressive one-on-ones	他相信做这些 真正攻击性的一对一。
46	with people that would make other employees cringe, and it was how he communicated.	和那些会让其他员工发疯的人在一起 他就是这样沟通的
47	But he believed that it was never good enough in anything you could almost do.	但他认为你几乎能做的都不够好
48	You could always do more.	你总能做得更多
49	And so he actually used to push employees so hard in their one-on-ones	所以他经常在员工的一对一中 大力推动员工
50	that they would leave feeling like they got a workout, they famously said.	他们会离开的感觉 像他们得到了锻炼, 他们有名的说。
51	He even used to drive around the parking lot and check and see if employees were in on the weekend	他甚至经常开车在停车场附近 检查一下周末员工是否在
52	by memorizing their license plates and then following up and having a one-on-one with them	记住他们的牌照,然后跟踪他们 和他们有一个一对一
53	on Monday about why they weren't there.	周一,关于他们为什么不在那里。
54	Now, I'm not saying that works in every job or company,	我不是说每份工作或公司都行
55	but it tells you what the crazy ones do.	但它告诉你 疯狂的人做什么。
56	There's this chick, Kim Scott, and she leads	有个小妞,金史考特,她带头
57	She actually wrote this book called Radical Candor, really big book.	她实际上写了一本名为"激进坎多尔"的书,非常大。
58	She calls this	她叫这个
59	ruinous empathy.	疯狂的同情心。
60	It's when you care so much about avoiding an uncomfortable conversation	当你如此在乎 避免不愉快的谈话
61	that you never say what needs to be said.	你从不说需要说的话
62	You know what's crazy though is most people	你知道什么是疯狂 虽然大多数的人
63	actually do this.	实际做到这一点。
64	Like imagine for a second, someone makes the same mistake three meetings	就像想象一下,有人犯了同样的错误 三次会议
65	in a row with you.	和你们排成一排
66	It's not the first time you never told them.	这不是你第一次告诉他们。
67	They walk into a performance	他们走进表演
68	later thinking they're doing great only to find out you've been mad at them for months.	后以为他们做的很好 只为了发现你气他们几个月了
69	You've been unhappy for months.	你几个月来一直不开心
70	You haven't thought they were performing for months.	你几个月没想过他们要表演了
71	So every conversation you avoid is like you stealing from their future.	所以每一次你避免的对话 就像你从他们的未来偷东西。
72	It gets more expensive	越来越贵了
73	for them and for you.	为了他们和你
74	The most respectful thing you can do for a competent adult is treat them	你对有才能的成年人最尊重的就是治疗他们
75	like one.	像一个。
76	They can handle the truth or you guys shouldn't be working together.	他们可以处理真相 或者你们不应该合作。
77	What isn't helpful	什么没用的
78	is them finding out you knew and said nothing.	是他们发现你知情 却什么都没说
79	Steve Jobs was effective because he was tough.	史蒂夫·乔布斯之所以有效,是因为他很坚强.
80	Plenty of tough bosses build terrible companies, but he was effective because everyone knew the	有很多强悍的老板 建立可怕的公司, 但他是有效的 因为每个人都知道
81	work came first.	工作是第一个
82	That's what you're copying.	汝所抄诵.
83	You're not throwing a temper tantrum.	你不会发脾气的
84	You're not being	你不会是
85	mean to people to be mean to people.	对人来说是坏人
86	You're holding the standard or what we call holding the line.	你守着标准 或者我们称之为守线
87	And if you're not going to be a standard bearer, you shouldn't be in charge.	如果你不是标准持枪者,你不应该负责。
88	So here's the framework	这就是框架
89	that I use.	我用这个
90	So C is for care.	所以C是用来照顾的
91	You start with why you're giving the feedback.	先从你提供反馈的原因开始
92	I might say something	我可以说点什么
93	like, I want to give you feedback because I think you're capable of more.	喜欢,我想给你反馈 因为我认为你有能力更多。
94	And the reason you do that	你这样做的原因
95	is you're not softening the message.	你没有软化消息。
96	You're explaining why you're about to tell them something	你解释为什么你要告诉他们一些事情
97	hard.	很难。
98	I might even say something like, I'm telling you this because I think you're capable of more.	我甚至可以说,我告诉你这些 因为我觉得你有能力更多。
99	Do you want to hear feedback about an area where I think you need some improvement?	你想听到关于一个领域的反馈吗 我认为你需要一些改进?
100	I also really	我也一样
101	like that because it's allowing them to give you the option to give tough feedback.	因为它允许他们给你选择 提供严厉的反馈
102	L is for lead	L是铅
103	with the work.	和工作有关
104	I don't ever attack the person.	我从不攻击他
105	I don't say you're bad at presentations.	我不是说你在演讲上很坏
106	Who's that	那是谁?
107	helping?	帮忙?
108	I say, this presentation was not good.	我说,这个介绍不妙。
109	Here's why.	这是为什么。
110	Here's how I define good.	这就是我如何定义好的。
111	Help fix the	帮助修复
112	work instead of labeling the person as incompetent, unless you don't want them to make any change	工作而不是把一个人贴上无能的标签 除非你不想让他们改变
113	whatsoever.	随便
114	You guys should know this by dating people too.	你们应该知道这一点 通过约会的人。
115	E is for being exact.	E是准确的。
116	Do not be vague.	不要含糊不清。
117	Don't say do better.	不要说做更好。
118	That's so useless.	真没用
119	Nobody can act on it properly.	没有人能就此采取行动。
120	I would say instead,	我会说,相反,
121	the report is due Tuesday.	报告应于星期二提交。
122	You gave it to me Thursday.	你周四给我的
123	Do you see why that's an issue?	你知道为什么吗?
124	You	你们
125	didn't keep your word with me.	你没有跟我保证
126	A is ask.	A是问。
127	After the feedback, stop talking.	反馈后,停止说话.
128	Shut up and hand them a	闭嘴,交给他们
129	like.	喜欢。
130	Ask, what am I missing?	问,我漏了什么?
131	What don't I understand?	我听不懂吗?
132	And then listen.	然后谛听.
133	I like to a lot of	我喜欢很多
134	times say, what am I totally wrong on?	说,什么是我完全错了吗?
135	This is showing that you're just as open to feedback,	这显示你同样愿意接受反馈
136	but you have to actually listen when you do this part.	但你做这个部分的时候必须听
137	Like half the time you learn context that	就像一半的时间 你学习背景
138	might change the picture.	可能会改变画面
139	The other half, they talk their own way to the fix and then they own it.	另一半,他们自言自语 到固定,然后他们拥有它。
140	And finally, R is reset.	最后,R被重置。
141	End on what happens next.	结束接下来发生的事
142	So don't leave people wondering.	所以别让别人怀疑
143	Tell them exactly	告诉他们
144	what success looks like.	成功是什么样子。
145	So next time, send me the draft on Tuesday or flag something you're stuck on	所以下次星期二把草稿寄给我 或标上你坚持的东西
146	or if you're going to be late so we can work through it.	或者如果你要迟到,我们就可以通过它。
147	So care, lead, exact, ask, reset.	所以小心,铅,准确,问,重置。
148	That's how to be clear.	如何是清净法.
149	If you run that, you're going to watch what happens and be shocked.	如果你运行,你会看到什么 发生和震惊。
150	I've learned that great communication will change your relationship forever.	我知道伟大的沟通会永远改变你们的关系
151	Will change your partnership forever.	将永远改变你的合作关系。
152	Will make you more money and will make you better in business.	让你赚更多的钱 让你在生意上更好
153	I've learned that great employees want clarity.	我了解到,伟大的员工想要清晰。
154	Great friends and partners want clarity.	伟大的朋友和伙伴们想要清楚。
155	Weak ones want comfort.	弱者则求安乐.
156	And I don't want you to confuse the two.	我不想你把两者混淆
157	Now in the beginning of this,	现在,在这开始,
158	they will probably be a little miffed at the feedback.	他们可能会在反馈中有点沉闷。
159	I think feedback is really hard in	我觉得反馈很困难
160	the beginning, but as you give more and more of it and you explain the clear process for it,	开始,但当你付出 越来越多的,你解释 它的明确过程,
161	people understand it and they want it because they feel like you are clear and you care.	人们理解它,他们想要它 因为他们觉得你很清楚,你在乎。
162	And so if you remember the two C's, you'll get really far.	所以,如果你记得两个C, 你会得到真正的远。
163	Another little note is that	另一个小提示是,
164	feedback gets really hard when it isn't in person.	当它不是当面的,反馈变得非常困难。
165	Usually you're dealing with a whole team,	通常你和整个团队打交道
166	right?	对吧?
167	Or you're dealing with a bunch of people.	或与众生打交道.
168	Try to be in person when you do this.	试着当面做这个。
169	Often, I think in the beginning, you want to try to give tough feedback in private until you've	通常,我想在开始的时候, 你想尝试 私下提供强硬的反馈 直到你得到了
170	created a culture where everybody's so used to feedback that giving it in public isn't that big	造就了一种文化 人人都习惯于在公众场合反馈
171	of a deal.	一个交易。
172	There's this guy, Ben Horowitz.	有个叫本·霍罗威茨的家伙
173	He's one of the co-founders of Andreessen Horowitz,	他是安德烈森·霍罗威茨的联合创始人之一
174	huge software company, but he also started tech companies previously.	巨大的软件公司, 但他也开始 技术公司之前。
175	And he explicitly says that	他明确地说,
176	standard management advice of how you're supposed to give feedback, which is called the sandwich,	标准管理建议你应该如何提供反馈, 这叫做三明治,
177	which is praise, criticism, praise, trains employees to distrust praise and dread criticism.	这是赞美,批评,赞美, 训练员工不信任赞美和可怕的批评。
178	His rule is like, no, baby, give it to me straight with specifics.	他的规则是,不,宝贝, 直接告诉我细节。
179	Don't wrap it in	别包起来
180	compliments.	恭维.
181	He likes to do it in private, but he fired his best friend as the CEO of LoudCloud	他喜欢私下做,但他解雇了他最好的朋友 作为LoudCloud的首席执行官
182	and said in his book, I had to say the words, I'm firing you to the person who is the best man at	在他的书里说,我不得不说, 我开除你的人谁是最好的人
183	my wedding.	我的婚礼。
184	And if you can't do that, don't be a CEO.	如果你做不到,就别当首席执行官
185	What a hard ass.	何等为难.
186	NVIDIA的詹森·黄
187	famously doesn't do one-on-ones with any of his employees, thinks that giving private feedback is	著名的是,不做一对一 与他的任何员工, 认为给私人反馈是
188	a disservice to the entire team, mandates all different difficult conversations in person.	这不利于整个团队 授权所有困难的谈话
189	And maybe that's why he's one of the richest men in the world in the fastest period.	也许这就是为什么他是世界上最快的时期里 最富有的人之一
190	Now,	现在,
191	I already told you about Jensen Wang publicly critiquing his execs, but let me break down	我已经跟你说过王詹森 公开发泄他的执行官,但让我分手
192	exactly what this looks like.	这正是这个样子。
193	他经营NVIDIA.
194	He has 60 direct reports, six zero.	他有60个直接报告,6个零
195	Most CEOs have	多数CEO都有
196	eight to 10.	8点到10点
197	His reasoning is this idea of no one-on-ones.	他的推理就是这种没有一对一的想法.
198	Everything gets said in group	每件事物都是一组说的
199	meetings.	会议。
200	If he has feedback for a VP, he gives it in the room with all other VPs present.	如果他有VP的反馈,他会在房间里与所有其他VP在场.
201	Why?	为什么?
202	If you think about this, he really thinks he's doing them solid.	如果你想到这一点,他真的认为 他做的坚固。
203	He says feedback is a learning	他说反馈是一种学习
204	opportunity.	机会。
205	Why would I hoard it in a one-on-one when 40 other people could learn from watching?	我为什么要把它藏在一对一, 而40个其他人可以从观看中学习?
206	Now, it sounds brutal, but NVIDIA's employees stay five X longer than industry average.	现在,这听起来很残酷, 但NVIDIA的雇员停留 5X 比工业平均水平。
207	Turnover is 2%.	转身率为2%.
208	He calls it torturing them into greatness.	他称之为折磨他们成为伟大。
209	At Contour and Thinking,	在轮廓和思考,
210	my company, I do the same thing.	我的公司,我做同样的事情。
211	I do a leadership meeting, which is now about 10 or 12 leaders all	我做一个领导会议, 现在大约是10或12名领导
212	around our boardroom.	在我们的会议室。
213	And I also do a content leaders meeting.	我还做了一个内容领袖会议。
214	Any feedback I have to give	任何反馈,我要给
215	goes to those two groups as opposed to one-on-ones.	这两组是一对一的
216	I do not do one-on-ones.	我不做一对一。
217	This is really important.	这很重要
218	And if you think it's just dudes, talk about Kim Scott getting fired	如果你认为只是男人, 说金斯科特被解雇
219	by Sheryl Sandberg for being too nice.	谢里尔·桑德伯格因为太好。
220	So Kim Scott gave a presentation to Google leadership.	因此,金·斯科特向谷歌领导层做了介绍.
221	It went well.	进展顺利。
222	After Sandberg walked around and said, you said on the lawn there.	桑德伯格走来走去说 你在那草坪上说
223	Scott brushed	斯科特刷过
224	it off.	它关闭。
225	Sandberg pushed.	桑德伯格推动。
226	I know an amazing speech coach.	我知道一个惊人的演讲导师。
227	Google will pay for it.	谷歌会付出代价的
228	Scott brushed it	史考特刷过的
229	off again.	再次关闭。
230	Sandberg stopped walking and looked at her and said, you are one of the smartest people	桑伯格停止走路,看着她说, 你是最聪明的人之一
231	I know, but um, makes you sound stupid.	我知道,但嗯,让你听起来很愚蠢。
232	And I'm not going to let you sound stupid.	我不会让你听起来很愚蠢
233	So Scott wrote	所以斯科特写道:
234	radical candor about that moment.	激进的坦率 关于那一刻。
235	Her frame, caring personally means challenging directly.	她的画框 关心个人意味着直接挑战
236	And I think using words like stupid are really triggering for people.	我觉得用像傻话一样的词 真正触发了人们。
237	And in a way, that's	从某种意义上说,这就是
238	exactly what you want.	这正是你想要的。
239	I call it the idiot index, which I think I stole from Elon Musk.	我把它称为白痴指数, 我想我偷了从伊隆穆斯克。
240	And so with my admin team, I'll say, did you run this idea past the idiot index?	那么,对于我的管理团队,我要说, 你运行这个想法 通过白痴指数?
241	And that is such a triggering thing for people.	这对人们来说是种刺激。
242	They're like, does she call me an idiot?	他们喜欢, 她叫我白痴?
243	Does that	难道
244	mean I'm an idiot?	我是一个白痴?
245	But what I'm saying is only an idiot would do this.	但我想说的是 只有白痴才会这么做
246	So like, did we run it past	所以,我们运行它过去
247	an index?	指数?
248	Not you.	不是说你
249	But when you're looking at a bunch of options in front of you, did you go,	但当你在眼前看到一堆选择时,你有没有去
250	imagine my dumbest friend is right here.	想象一下我最笨的朋友就在这里
251	Is my really dumb friend going to make this decision	我那蠢朋友会做这个决定吗?
252	I always get annoyed at my dumb friend for making.	我总是因为我那蠢朋友的制造而生气
253	And this is really helpful because if you don't	这真的有帮助 因为如果你不
254	do this, you're failing your people.	这样做, 你辜负了你的人。
255	Now the next part, I will, I, we talk about this, like the room	现在,接下来,我会,我,我们谈论这一点, 像房间
256	you're afraid to call.	你害怕打电话
257	So often managers become human complaint boxes.	因此,管理人员经常成为人类的投诉箱。
258	Like you don't want to be	就像你不想成为那样
259	stuck accidentally becoming a therapist.	不小心被卡住了 成为一名治疗师。
260	Do you?	是吗?
261	I know that I do not.	我知道我没有。
262	That is not my happy place	那不是我快乐的地方
263	at all.	一点也不
264	I think there's a pattern here, right?	我觉得这里有规律 对吧?
265	Two people have a problem with talking to each other.	两人对彼此说话有问题.
266	Instead of talking it out, one person brings it to you, the leader, right?	而不是说出来, 一个人把它给你, 领袖,对不对?
267	You see this in social	你看这个在社交上
268	circles too.	圆也.
269	Like Pam did this.	就像帕姆干的一样
270	Then the other one, right?	然后另一个,对不对?
271	Nobody's talking to each other,	没人会说话
272	but everybody's talking about each other.	但每个人都在谈论对方。
273	And the two people who actually have the problem,	而两个真正有问题的人
274	they're not talking at all.	他们根本没说话
275	This happened to me in my business recently.	这发生在我最近的工作。
276	It's super annoyed.	超烦恼.
277	It's	这是
278	one of my biggest complaints in business.	我最大的抱怨之一 在商业。
279	And I finally had to sit them in a room together and say,	最后我不得不让他们坐在一个房间里说,
280	you're both adults, talk to each other or stop complaining to me, but you don't get to do both.	你们两个都是成年人, 互相交谈或停止向我抱怨, 但你们不能同时做。
281	If you guys talk to each other and you can't work it out and you are doing it direct,	如果你们彼此交谈 却不能解决 直接解决
282	then you can bring it to me.	然后你可以把它给我。
283	But if you are not even having a conversation, I don't want to hear	但是,如果你甚至没有 谈话,我不想听到
284	about it because all you're teaching me is that you're not good enough or strong enough or have	因为你教我的只是 你不够好 不够强壮 或者有
285	enough confidence in order to fix this.	有足够的信心来解决这个问题。
286	And you just want to gossip and have drama.	你只想闲谈 并有戏剧。
287	And I have	而我已经
288	no space for gossip in my life.	我的生活没有闲话空间。
289	I know this is a little intense and maybe you're like,	我知道这有点紧张,也许你喜欢,
290	how am I going to do that if I'm not in charge?	如果我不负责怎么办?
291	Here's what I would do instead.	这就是我会做的。
292	I like to say what Dave Ramsey's rule is.	我想说戴夫拉姆齐的规矩是什么
293	And he taught me from being at his headquarters.	他教会我 在他的总部。
294	He says, at my company, we have a no gossip rule.	他说,在我的公司, 我们没有一条八卦规则。
295	We just don't allow it.	我们只是不允许它。
296	And so if anybody's	所以,如果任何人的
297	gossiping or talking about anybody and they find out at Dave Ramsey, you get fired.	闲聊或谈论任何人 他们发现戴夫拉姆齐,你被解雇。
298	So I like to	所以我喜欢
299	say something like, if I'm not the main main head dog leader and I can't be as tough as Cody is,	说些类似的话,如果我不是主要的头狗头领 我不能像科迪那样强硬,
300	I might say something like, you know what?	我可以说一些类似,你知道吗?
301	I have a rule this year for me.	今年我有个规矩
302	I don't gossip.	我不会闲言闲语
303	I don't talk about other people when they're not in the room.	我不谈别人 当他们不在房间里。
304	It's my 2026 rule.	这是我的2026年规则。
305	And so I actually	所以我实际上
306	can't participate in this conversation.	不能参与这次谈话
307	It's just like one of the things I gave up this year.	这就像我今年放弃的一件事
308	Now, if we want to go talk to the person in person and like work it out between the three of us and	现在,如果我们想去 谈话的人 亲自,喜欢解决我们三个之间
309	have a constructive conversation, I got you.	有个有建设性的谈话,我得到了你。
310	I will support you.	我会支持你。
311	I'll be there.	我会在那里。
312	But I actually	但我实际上
313	have a rule.	有个规则。
314	I just don't gossip right now.	我只是不说闲话 现在。
315	I don't like how I feel afterwards.	我不喜欢我之后的感觉
316	So I just stop	所以我就停下来
317	doing it.	做到这一点。
318	I think most workplace drama exists because people are having the wrong conversation	我认为大多数的工作场所戏剧之所以存在,是因为人们的对话是错误的.
319	with the wrong person and not willing to say it to their face.	和错人在一起 不愿意当面说
320	The rule is go direct to the source.	规矩是直接去源头
321	If you have a problem with somebody, who's the first person you should talk to them?	如果你对某个人有意见 那你应该和谁谈?
322	Not me and	不是我和
323	not the group chat.	不是小组聊天
324	Also, I think sometimes people are just looking for somebody to hold a line.	而且,我觉得有时候人们只是 寻找一个人来维持一条线。
325	So like if you do that and you stop being everybody's emotional middleman, the team is	所以,就像如果你这样做,你停止 成为每个人的情感中介, 团队是
326	going to start handling its own friction instead of laundering it through you.	开始处理它自己的摩擦 而不是通过你清洗它。
327	I actually saw this	我其实看到了这个
328	the other week.	一个星期。
329	My president in a leadership meeting just brought it up.	我的总统刚刚在领导会议上提出这个问题。
330	He said, I had to deal	他说,我不得不处理
331	with a bunch of annoying drama this week.	这周有一堆烦人的戏剧
332	You know, I didn't appreciate having to deal with this issue.	你知道,我不欣赏 不得不处理这个问题。
333	Just one of the leaders had a little flame out.	只有一位领导人有一点火光。
334	And he's like, and I didn't appreciate the fact	他喜欢,我不欣赏的事实
335	that like I had to mediate two of your direct reports.	就像我不得不调解 你的两个直接报告。
336	This should really be your issue.	这应该是你的问题
337	And he's like, anybody have anything they want to say about that?	他喜欢,有人有什么 他们想说什么呢?
338	So it's just out in the open as	所以,它只是 露着作为
339	opposed to this thing, send the DMs that's behind the scenes.	反对这件事, 发送DMs 在幕后。
340	And in fact, even today, I was like,	事实上,即使今天,我还是想,
341	listen, I can feel from both of your teams, there's a lot of frustrations.	听着,我从你们两支队伍中都能感觉到 有很多挫折感
342	I really wish	我真的希望这样
343	you two could feel like you're on the same team.	你们俩会觉得你们是一伙的
344	Both sides are frustrated with each other.	双方互感挫折.
345	And	还有
346	instead of being a team heads down figuring it out, you guys are going back and forth and back	你们不是一队人马想出办法,而是要前后进退
347	It's honestly kind of exhausting.	真的有点累
348	Why can't you both just say, okay, can you do this better?	你们为什么不能说,好吧,你们能做得更好吗?
349	What can I do better?	我还能做得更好吗?
350	Okay, I'll do that.	好吧,我会做到这一点。
351	And then have a conversation to ask if you two are nailing	然后有话要问你们是不是在钉子
352	it.	这个
353	I'm like, you're all very competent.	我很喜欢,你们都 非常胜任。
354	Lord, we get more done if you worked this way.	主啊,如果你这样做,我们得到更多的工作。
355	He kind of	他有点
356	gave me some feedback.	给我一些反馈。
357	What are we not doing that can be improved?	我们没有做什么可以改进?
358	Who's saying what?	谁在说什么?
359	And I said,	我说,
360	no, no, we're not playing the he said she said game.	不,不,我们不是在玩 他说的游戏。
361	I want to make sure you guys are really	我想确定你们是真的
362	working together.	一起行动。
363	Can you do that in a team?	你能在团队中做到这一点吗?
364	Everybody should be vibing on what we need to	每个人都应该振动 我们需要什么
365	solve.	解脱.
366	This is not rocket science.	这不是火箭科学。
367	People have done way harder things than this.	人们做的比这更难
368	And, you know,	还有,你知道,
369	eventually he's like, fair enough.	最终他很公平
370	Okay, you know, we'll work on this.	好吧,你知道的,我们会努力的。
371	I hear you.	我听见了
372	I'll do my part.	我会尽我的责任的
373	I said, great.	我说,太好了。
374	I will always hear your frustrations as long as you guys are actually	只要你们是,我会永远听到你们的挫折感
375	airing them out to each other.	互相传播
376	Because the truth is, you will actually have a team that is so much	因为事实上,你会有一个团队 这么多
377	higher functioning if you push them to have crucial conversations.	如果你逼他们进行关键的对话 就能发挥更高的功能
378	To the point of I literally	我从字面上说
379	have handed people before the book, Radical Candor, or Crucial Conversations.	在书前交出人 激进的坎多尔 或关键的对话。
380	And so don't	所以别这样
381	feel like leadership is about being liked.	觉得领导是被喜欢的
382	It's about making your people better.	而是让你的人变得更好
383	I think in the	我觉得
384	future, you should aspire to be the type of leader where other people say, yeah, they're really	未来,你应该渴望成为那种领袖 在那里其他人说,是的,他们真的
385	tough, but man, am I better because of it.	硬,但男人, 我更好,因为它。
386	It's not just that I like that person.	不只是我喜欢那个人
387	I like who I am	我喜欢我是谁
388	because of them.	因为他们。
389	Because of the way that I have learned watching them, I am more valuable today.	由于我学习了看他们的方式,我今天更有价值。
390	Don't you want to be respected, not just liked?	难道你不想被尊重吗?
391	I know I do.	我知道我会的
392	Soft feedback feels kind, but honest	柔软的反馈感觉很好,但诚实
393	feedback will actually build your employees up.	反馈会增加你的员工
394	Every manager has to choose between comfort or	每个经理都得在舒适和
395	do the difficult convo.	做困难的召集。
396	Talk to the person that feels off.	跟感觉不对的人谈谈
397	Maybe get rid of the person on your	也许摆脱你身上的人
398	team that will not do the thing you know they need to do.	团队不会做你知道的 他们需要做的事情。
399	And if this is you in your personal life,	如果这是你的个人生活,
400	do the exact same thing.	做同样的事情。
401	Half of the stuff that works in business works even better in your	在生意上工作的东西有一半比你的好
402	personal life.	个人生活。
403	There's just no guardrails to how you should have gossipy, hard conversations	你不应该有闲言闲语 硬话
404	in your personal life too.	在你的个人生活中也是如此。
405	And if you want us to help you become a better leader, if you want us	如果你想让我们帮助你成为一个更好的领袖 如果你想要我们
406	{\fn黑体\fs22\bord1\shad0\3aHBE\4aH00\fscx67\fscy66\2cHFFFFFF\3cH808080}帮助你进行这种对话 {\fn黑体\fs22\bord1\shad0\3aHBE\4aH00\fscx67\fscy66\2cHFFFFFF\3cH808080}找出你选择舒适的地方
407	growth, maybe you should join the boardroom where we help owners do this every single week.	成长,也许你应该加入董事会 在那里我们帮助业主 每周做到这一点。
408	Can you	你能吗?
409	tell me if this episode was useful?	告诉我这集有用吗?
410	And what is the thing that is holding you back from growth?	是什么让你无法成长?

该视频共有字幕 410 条。解锁更多字幕为会员功能，请移动到 价格

P2 · 【人际成长】停止讨好！CLEAR法则帮你赢得尊重 · Codie Sanchez p02 无字幕 (P2)

【人际成长】停止讨好！CLEAR法则帮你赢得尊重 · Codie Sanchez p02 无字幕 (P2)

发布于 2026-11-03 · 时长 16:45

字幕摘录

时间	英文	中文
0:00	If you want to be a terrible leader and have nobody listen to you, the biggest mistake	如果你想做一个可怕的领导, 没有人听你的,最大的错误
0:04	you can make isn't saying the wrong thing.	你可以做的不是说错话
0:06	It's refusing to tell people the truth.	它拒绝告诉别人真相。
0:08	Every time you soften the feedback and let someone walk out believing this looks good	每次你软化反馈 让一个人走出去 相信这看起来不错
0:13	when it doesn't, you're just avoiding the hard conversation that you eventually need	当它没有,你只是避免了 艰难的对话,你最终需要
0:16	to have.	拥有。
0:17	I'm going to give you a four-step framework that makes hard conversations easier and I'll	我要给你一个四步框架 使硬对话更容易,我会
0:21	show you the one conversation almost every leader avoids, even though it's the one their	让你看看几乎每个领导人都避免的谈话 尽管这是他们的谈话
0:26	team or the people in their lives need the most.	团队或人们生活中最需要的。
0:29	I'm Cody Sanchez.	我是科迪・桑切斯。

展开字幕全文（363 条）

序号	英文	中文
1	If you want to be a terrible leader and have nobody listen to you, the biggest mistake	如果你想做一个可怕的领导, 没有人听你的,最大的错误
2	you can make isn't saying the wrong thing.	你可以做的不是说错话
3	It's refusing to tell people the truth.	它拒绝告诉别人真相。
4	Every time you soften the feedback and let someone walk out believing this looks good	每次你软化反馈 让一个人走出去 相信这看起来不错
5	when it doesn't, you're just avoiding the hard conversation that you eventually need	当它没有,你只是避免了 艰难的对话,你最终需要
6	to have.	拥有。
7	I'm going to give you a four-step framework that makes hard conversations easier and I'll	我要给你一个四步框架 使硬对话更容易,我会
8	show you the one conversation almost every leader avoids, even though it's the one their	让你看看几乎每个领导人都避免的谈话 尽管这是他们的谈话
9	team or the people in their lives need the most.	团队或人们生活中最需要的。
10	I'm Cody Sanchez.	我是科迪・桑切斯。
11	This is the Big Deal Podcast.	这是大交易的播客。
12	Let's get into it.	进曰.
13	If this show has ever saved you from a bad deal, a bad day, do me one favor.	如果这个节目曾拯救你 从一个坏交易,坏的一天, 帮我一个忙。
14	Hit subscribe.	点击订阅。
15	It's free.	自由无碍.
16	It takes two seconds and it's the single biggest thing that helps us book better guests and	它需要两秒钟, 这是最大的一件事 帮助我们订更好的客人和
17	make this better for you.	做这个对你更好。
18	All right.	好吧,我们走。
19	I want to start talking about this.	我想开始谈论这一点。
20	Call it the vanity test.	称虚空验.
21	There's one test you need to run before giving anyone feedback and there's no one who ran	在给别人反馈之前 你得做一个测试 没有一个人能跑
22	this vanity test better than Steve Jobs.	这个虚荣测试比史蒂夫・乔布斯更好。
23	There's an incredible story, basically.	基本上有个不可思议的故事
24	So Steve had this designer named Johnny Ive and they were very close, but Steve was kind	所以史蒂夫有个设计师叫约翰尼·艾夫 他们很亲近 但史蒂夫很友善
25	of a maniac.	一个疯子。
26	I remember having a conversation with him and was asking why he was a little harsh and	我记得和他谈过 问他为什么有点苛刻
27	he said, no, you just want people to like you.	他说,不,你只是想让人们喜欢你。
28	I thought you held the work up as the most important and I was terribly cross because	我还以为你把工作当做最重要的 我非常的过火 因为...
29	I knew he was right.	我知道他是对的
30	I think great leaders, they build up people by saying the hard thing.	我认为伟大的领导者, 他们通过说硬的东西来培养人。
31	Bad leaders, they're so obsessed with their image and what people think about them that	坏领导人,他们是如此迷恋 他们的形象和人们对他们的看法
32	they don't realize why vanity is so dangerous.	他们不知道为什么虚荣如此危险
33	It looks like kindness and it's not.	貌似仁义而不然.
34	The second thing I've realized is soft feedback is the cool option, actually.	我意识到的第二件事是软反馈,其实是很酷的选择。
35	So every time you soften the truth, I want you to think that you buy yourself a few seconds	所以每次你软化事实, 我要你认为 你买自己几秒钟
36	of comfort, but you cost someone else weeks or months of improvement.	舒适,但你花费 别人几个星期或几个月改善。
37	Like who are you to make that decision?	就像你是谁来做这个决定?
38	Don't you want to be the type of leader who people leave their time with them and say,	难道你不想成为那种领导者 人们离开他们的时间 并说,
39	God, I learned so much.	天啊,我学到了很多
40	That person made me better, as opposed to like, yeah, that was a pretty good boss.	那个人让我好起来,而不是喜欢,是的, 这是一个相当好的老板。
41	I kind of liked him.	我有点喜欢他
42	He was fine.	他没事
43	So I was reading about Bill Gates the other day and he famously loved conflict.	那天我在读比尔·盖茨 他喜欢冲突
44	He believed in doing these really aggressive one-on-ones with people that would make other	他相信这些真正具有侵略性的 一对一 与人,使其他
45	employees cringe and it was how he communicated.	员工CRINGE,这是他如何沟通。
46	But he believed that it was never good enough in anything you could almost do.	但他认为你几乎能做的都不够好
47	You could always do more.	你总能做得更多
48	And so he actually used to push employees so hard in their one-on-ones that they would	所以他经常把员工推到一对一的地步
49	leave feeling like they got a workout, they famously said.	离开的感觉像他们得到了一个锻炼, 他们著名的说。
50	He even used to drive around the parking lot and check and see if employees were in on	他甚至还经常开车在停车场附近 检查一下员工是否参与
51	the weekend by memorizing their license plates and then following up and having a one-on-one	在周末通过纪念他们的车牌 然后跟进 并有一个一对一
52	with them on Monday about why they weren't there.	周一和他们谈了为什么他们不在那里
53	Now I'm not saying that works in every job or company, but it tells you what the crazy	我并不是说每份工作或公司都行 但这告诉你什么是疯狂的
54	ones do.	他们有
55	There's this chick, Kim Scott, and she leads teams at Google and Apple.	有个小妞 金·斯科特 她带领谷歌和苹果的团队
56	She actually wrote this book called Radical Candor, really big book.	她实际上写了一本名为"激进坎多尔"的书,非常大。
57	She calls this ruinous empathy.	她把这种疯狂的同情心称为"疯狂的同情".
58	It's when you care so much about avoiding an uncomfortable conversation that you never	当你如此在乎 避免不愉快的谈话,你从来没有
59	say what needs to be said.	说要说的话
60	You know what's crazy though is most people actually do this.	你知道什么是疯狂,虽然是大多数人 实际上这样做。
61	Like imagine for a second, someone makes the same mistake three meetings in a row with	就像想象一下,有人犯同样的错误 连续三次会议
62	you.	你们
63	It's not the first time you never told them.	这不是你第一次告诉他们。
64	They walk into a performance review later thinking they're doing great, only to find	他们走进一个业绩审查 以后认为他们做的很好,只是寻找
65	out you've been mad at them for months.	几个月来你一直在生他们的气
66	You've been unhappy for months.	你几个月来一直不开心
67	You haven't thought they were performing for months.	你几个月没想过他们要表演了
68	So every conversation you avoid is like you stealing from their future.	所以每一次你避免的对话 就像你从他们的未来偷东西。
69	It gets more expensive for them and for you.	对他们和你来说都比较贵
70	The most respectful thing you can do for a competent adult is treat them like one.	你对有才能的成年人最尊重的就是把他们当做一个
71	They can handle the truth or you guys shouldn't be working together.	他们可以处理真相 或者你们不应该合作。
72	What isn't helpful is them finding out you knew and said nothing.	毫无帮助的是他们发现你知道 却什么都没说
73	Steve Jobs was effective because he was tough.	史蒂夫·乔布斯之所以有效,是因为他很坚强.
74	Plenty of tough bosses build terrible companies, but he was effective because everyone knew	有很多强悍的老板建立了可怕的公司 但他很有效 因为大家都知道
75	the work came first.	工作是第一个
76	That's what you're copying.	汝所抄诵.
77	You're not throwing a temper tantrum.	你不会发脾气的
78	You're not being mean to people.	你对人没有恶意
79	To be mean to people, you're holding the standard or what we call holding the line.	对人们来说,你持有标准 或者我们称之为持有线。
80	And if you're not going to be a standard bearer, you shouldn't be in charge.	如果你不是标准持枪者,你不应该负责。
81	So here's the framework that I use.	这就是我使用的框架。
82	So C is for care.	所以C是用来照顾的
83	You start with why you're giving the feedback.	先从你提供反馈的原因开始
84	I might say something like, I want to give you feedback because I think you're capable	我可能会说类似的话 我想给你反馈 因为我觉得你有能力
85	of more.	还要更多
86	And the reason you do that is you're not softening the message.	你这样做的原因是你没有软化信息。
87	You're explaining why you're about to tell them something hard.	你在解释你为什么要告诉他们一些很难的事
88	I might even say something like, I'm telling you this because I think you're capable of	我甚至可以说,我告诉你, 因为我认为你有能力
89	more.	再来
90	Do you want to hear feedback about an area where I think you need some improvement?	你想听到关于一个领域的反馈吗 我认为你需要一些改进?
91	I also really like that because it's allowing them to give you the option to give tough	我也很喜欢,因为这样他们可以让你 选择给硬
92	feedback.	反馈。
93	L is for lead with the work.	L是工作的领导
94	I don't ever attack the person.	我从不攻击他
95	I don't say you're bad at presentations.	我不是说你在演讲上很坏
96	Who's that helping?	那帮谁?
97	I say, hmm, this presentation was not good.	我说,嗯,这个介绍不好。
98	Here's why.	这是为什么。
99	Here's how I define good.	这就是我如何定义好的。
100	Help fix the work instead of labeling the person as incompetent, unless you don't want	帮助修复工作,而不是把一个人贴上无能的标签,除非你不想
101	them to make any change whatsoever.	他们可以做任何改变。
102	You guys should know this by dating people too.	你们应该知道这一点 通过约会的人。
103	E is for being exact.	E是准确的。
104	Do not be vague.	不要含糊不清。
105	Don't say do better.	不要说做更好。
106	That's so useless.	真没用
107	Nobody can act on it properly.	没有人能就此采取行动。
108	I would say instead, the report is due Tuesday.	我要说的是,报告应于星期二提交。
109	You gave it to me Thursday.	你周四给我的
110	Do you see why that's an issue?	你知道为什么吗?
111	You didn't keep your word with me.	你没跟我保证
112	A is ask.	A是问。
113	After the feedback, stop talking, shut up and hand them a like.	反馈后,停止说话,闭嘴,给他们一个类似的东西.
114	Ask what am I missing?	问我错过了什么?
115	What don't I understand?	我听不懂吗?
116	And then listen.	然后谛听.
117	I like to a lot of times say, what am I totally wrong on?	我喜欢很多时候说, 什么是我完全错了?
118	This is showing that you're just as open to feedback, but you have to actually listen	这显示你同样愿意接受反馈 但你必须倾听
119	when you do this part.	当你做这个部分。
120	Like half the time you learn context that might change the picture.	就像一半的时间,你学习的背景 可能会改变画面。
121	The other half, they talk their own way to the fix and then they own it.	另一半,他们自言自语 到固定,然后他们拥有它。
122	And finally, R is reset.	最后,R被重置。
123	End on what happens next.	结束接下来发生的事
124	So don't leave people wondering.	所以别让别人怀疑
125	Tell them exactly what success looks like.	告诉他们什么是成功。
126	So next time, send me the draft on Tuesday or flag something you're stuck on or if you're	下次,星期二把草稿寄给我 或者标上你粘着的东西 或者如果你是
127	going to be late so we can work through it.	要迟到了,这样我们才能度过难关
128	So care, lead, exact, ask, reset.	所以小心,铅,准确,问,重置。
129	That's how to be clear.	如何是清净法.
130	If you run that, you're going to watch what happens and be shocked.	如果你运行,你会看到什么 发生和震惊。
131	I've learned that great communication will change your relationship forever, will change	我学会了伟大的沟通 将永远改变你的关系, 将改变
132	your partnership forever, will make you more money and will make you better in business.	你永远的合伙关系,会给你更多的钱 让你在生意上更好。
133	I've learned that great employees want clarity.	我了解到,伟大的员工想要清晰。
134	Great friends and partners want clarity.	伟大的朋友和伙伴们想要清楚。
135	Weak ones want comfort.	弱者则求安乐.
136	And I don't want you to confuse the two.	我不想你把两者混淆
137	Now, in the beginning of this, they will probably be a little miffed at the feedback.	现在,在开始的时候, 他们可能会对反馈有一点印象。
138	I think feedback is really hard in the beginning, but as you give more and more of it and you	我认为反馈在一开始真的很难, 但随着你给予越来越多的,你
139	explain the clear process for it, people understand it and they want it because they feel like	解释清楚的过程 人们理解它 他们想要它,因为他们觉得
140	you are clear and you care.	你很清楚,你关心。
141	And so if you remember the two Cs, you'll get really far.	所以,如果你记得两个C, 你会得到真正的远。
142	Another little note is that feedback gets really hard when it isn't in person.	另一个小提示是,当反馈不是亲自反馈时,反馈会变得非常困难.
143	Usually you're dealing with a whole team, right, or you're dealing with a bunch of people.	通常你与整个团队打交道,对吗,或者你与一群人打交道.
144	Try to be in person when you do this.	试着当面做这个。
145	Often, I think in the beginning, you want to try to give tough feedback in private until	通常,我想在一开始, 你想尝试 给硬反馈 私下直到
146	you've created a culture where everybody's so used to feedback that giving it in public	你创造了一种文化 人人都习惯于在公众场合反馈
147	isn't that big of a deal.	没什么大不了的
148	There's this guy, Ben Horowitz.	有个叫本·霍罗威茨的家伙
149	他是Andreessen Horowitz的创始人之一, 大型软件公司,但他也
150	started tech companies previously.	之前创办了科技公司.
151	And he explicitly says that the standard management advice of like how you're supposed to give	他明确表示,标准管理建议 就像你应该如何给
152	feedback, which is called the sandwich, which is praise, criticism, praise, trains employees	这叫做"三明治" 即赞美 批评 赞美 培训员工
153	to distrust praise and dread criticism.	不信任的赞美和可怕的批评。
154	His rule is like, no, baby, give it to me straight with specifics.	他的规则是,不,宝贝, 直接告诉我细节。
155	Don't wrap it in compliments.	别把它包在恭维。
156	He likes to do it in private, but he fired his best friend as the CEO of Loud Cloud and	他喜欢私下做,但他解雇了最好的朋友 作为Loud Cloud和CEO
157	said in his book, I had to say the words, I'm firing you to the person who is the best	在他的书里说,我不得不说, 我开除你的人谁是最好的
158	man at my wedding.	男人在我的婚礼。
159	And if you can't do that, don't be a CEO.	如果你做不到,就别当首席执行官
160	What a hard ass.	何等为难.
161	Jensen Wong of NVIDIA famously doesn't do one-on-ones with any of his employees, thinks	NVIDIA的Jensen Wong 名声大噪 与他的任何员工不做一对一,认为
162	that giving private feedback is a disservice to the entire team, mandates all different	私下反馈是对整个团队的有害 授权所有不同的
163	difficult conversations in person.	很难亲自交谈
164	And maybe that's why he's one of the richest men in the world in the fastest period.	也许这就是为什么他是世界上最快的时期里 最富有的人之一
165	Now I already told you about Jensen Wang publicly critiquing his execs, but like let me break	现在,我已经告诉你,詹森・王公开 嘲笑他的执行官,但让我打破
166	down exactly what this looked like.	倒计时。
167	他经营NVIDIA.
168	He has 60 direct reports, six zero.	他有60个直接报告,6个零
169	Most CEOs have eight to 10.	大多数CEO有8到10个.
170	His reasoning is this idea of no one-on-ones.	他的推理就是这种没有一对一的想法.
171	Everything gets said in group meetings.	所有事情都在小组会议上说
172	If he has feedback for a VP, he gives it in the room with all other VPs present.	如果他有VP的反馈,他会在房间里与所有其他VP在场.
173	Why?	为什么?
174	If you think about this, he really thinks he's doing them solid.	如果你想到这一点,他真的认为 他做的坚固。
175	He says feedback is a learning opportunity.	他说反馈是一个学习的机会。
176	Why would I hoard it in a one-on-one when 40 other people could learn from watching?	我为什么要把它藏在一对一, 而40个其他人可以从观看中学习?
177	Now it sounds brutal, but NVIDIA's employees stay five X longer than industry average.	现在听起来很残酷,但是NVIDIA的员工停留时间比工业平均水平长5X.
178	Turnover is 2%.	转身率为2%.
179	He calls it torturing them into greatness.	他称之为折磨他们成为伟大。
180	在Contour and Thinking, 我的公司,我做同样的事情。
181	I do a leadership meeting, which is now about 12, 10 or 12 leaders all around our boardroom.	我做了一个领导会议,现在大约是12,10或12个领导者 在我们的会议室。
182	And I also do a content leaders meeting.	我还做了一个内容领袖会议。
183	Any feedback I have to give goes to those two groups as opposed to one-on-ones.	我要给这两组人的反馈 而不是一对一
184	I do not do one-on-ones.	我不做一对一。
185	This is really important.	这很重要
186	And if you think it's just dudes, talk about Kim Scott getting fired by Sheryl Sandberg	如果你觉得只是男人 说金·斯科特被雪莉·桑德伯格解雇
187	for being too nice.	因为太好。
188	So Kim Scott gave a presentation to Google leadership.	因此,金·斯科特向谷歌领导层做了介绍.
189	It went well.	进展顺利。
190	After Sandberg walked around and said,	桑德伯格走过来说
191	You said um a lot in there.	你说,嗯 很多在那里。
192	Scott brushed it off.	史考特把它刷下来了
193	Sandberg pushed.	桑德伯格推动。
194	I know an amazing speech coach.	我知道一个惊人的演讲导师。
195	Google will pay for it.	谷歌会付出代价的
196	Scott brushed it off again.	史考特又把它刷下来了
197	Sandberg stopped walking and looked at her and said,	桑德伯格停止走路,看着她说,
198	You are one of the smartest people I know.	你是我认识的最聪明的人之一
199	But um makes you sound stupid.	但你听起来很蠢
200	And I'm not going to let you sound stupid.	我不会让你听起来很愚蠢
201	So Scott wrote radical candor about that moment.	所以斯科特写了激进的坦率 关于那一刻。
202	Her frame, caring personally, means challenging directly.	她的框框,关心个人,意味着直接挑战.
203	And I think using words like stupid are really triggering for people.	我觉得用像傻话一样的词 真正触发了人们。
204	And in a way, that's exactly what you want.	在某种程度上,这正是你想要的。
205	I call it the idiot index, which I think I stole from Elon Musk.	我把它称为白痴指数, 我想我偷了从伊隆穆斯克。
206	And so with my admin team, I'll say,	因此,对于我的管理团队,我会说,
207	Did you run this idea past the idiot index?	你有没有通过白痴指数来研究这个想法?
208	And that is such a triggering thing for people.	这对人们来说是种刺激。
209	They're like, Does she call me an idiot?	他们喜欢, 她叫我白痴?
210	Does that mean I'm an idiot?	那表示我是白痴吗?
211	But what I'm saying is only an idiot would do this.	但我想说的是 只有白痴才会这么做
212	Did we run it past an index?	我们是否通过指数进行测试?
213	Not you.	不是说你
214	But when you're looking at a bunch of options in front of you,	但当你看到 一堆选项在你面前,
215	did you go, Imagine my dumbest friend is right here.	你有没有去,想象一下 我最笨的朋友就在这里。
216	Is my really dumb friend going to make this decision	我那蠢朋友会做这个决定吗?
217	that I always get annoyed at my dumb friend for making?	我总是因为我那蠢朋友的制造而生气?
218	And this is really helpful because if you don't do this,	这真的很有帮助 因为如果你不这样做
219	you're failing your people.	你辜负了你的人
220	Now the next part, we talk about this like the room you're afraid to call.	现在,接下来的部分,我们谈论这个 像房间你害怕打电话。
221	So often managers become human complaint boxes.	因此,管理人员经常成为人类的投诉箱。
222	Like you don't want to be stuck accidentally becoming a therapist.	就像你不想被卡住 意外成为一名治疗师。
223	Do you?	是吗?
224	I know that I do not.	我知道我没有。
225	That is not my happy place at all.	这不是我快乐的地方
226	I think there's a pattern here, right?	我觉得这里有规律 对吧?
227	Two people have a problem with talking to each other.	两人对彼此说话有问题.
228	Instead of talking it out, one person brings it to you.	而不是说出来,一个人把它带给你。
229	The leader, right?	领导,对不对?
230	You see this in social circles too.	你也在社交圈里看到这个
231	Like Pam did this.	就像帕姆干的一样
232	Then the other one, right?	然后另一个,对不对?
233	Nobody's talking to each other, but everybody's talking about each other.	没有人互相交谈 但每个人都在谈论对方
234	And the two people who actually have the problem,	而两个真正有问题的人
235	they're not talking at all.	他们根本没说话
236	This happened to me in my business recently.	这发生在我最近的工作。
237	It's super annoying.	超烦人的
238	It's one of my biggest complaints in business.	这是我在生意上最大的抱怨之一
239	And I finally had to sit them in a room together and say,	最后我不得不让他们坐在一个房间里说,
240	you're both adults, talk to each other, or stop complaining to me.	你们两个都是成年人 互相交谈 或停止向我抱怨
241	But you don't get to do both.	但你不能两者兼有
242	If you guys talk to each other and you can't work it out	如果你们彼此交谈,却无法解决
243	and you are doing it direct, then you can bring it to me.	而你直接做,然后你可以把它给我。
244	But if you are not even having a conversation,	但是如果你甚至没有谈话,
245	I don't want to hear about it because all you're teaching me	我不想听,因为你教我的
246	is that you're not good enough or strong enough	你不够好,不够强壮
247	or have enough confidence in order to fix this.	或者有足够的信心来解决这个问题。
248	You just want to gossip and have drama.	你只是想闲谈 并有戏剧。
249	And I have no space for gossip in my life.	我这辈子没有闲话可说
250	I know this is a little intense.	我知道这有点紧张
251	And maybe you're like, how am I going to do that if I'm not in charge?	也许你喜欢, 如果我不负责怎么办?
252	Here's what I would do instead.	这就是我会做的。
253	I like to say what Dave Ramsey's rule is,	我想说戴夫拉姆齐的规矩是什么
254	and he taught me from being at his headquarters.	他教我从他的总部。
255	He says, at my company, we have a no gossip rule.	他说,在我的公司, 我们没有一条八卦规则。
256	We just don't allow it.	我们只是不允许它。
257	And so if anybody's gossiping or talking about anybody	所以如果有人在闲聊 或谈论别人
258	and they find out at Dave Ramsey, you get fired.	他们发现戴夫・拉姆齐, 你被解雇。
259	So I like to say something like if I'm not the main main head dog leader	所以我喜欢说一些类似的话 如果我不是主要的头狗头领
260	and I can't be as tough as Cody is, I might say something like,	我不能像科迪那么强硬, 我可能会说,
261	you know what, I have a rule this year for me.	我今年有个规矩
262	I don't gossip.	我不会闲言闲语
263	I don't talk about other people when they're not in the room.	我不谈别人 当他们不在房间里。
264	It's my 2026 rule.	这是我的2026年规则。
265	And so I actually can't participate in this conversation.	所以我实际上不能参与这个对话。
266	It's just like one of the things I gave up this year.	这就像我今年放弃的一件事
267	Now, if we want to go talk to the person in person	现在,如果我们想亲自去和他谈谈
268	and like work it out between the three of us	喜欢我们三个一起解决
269	and have a constructive conversation, I got you.	并有一个建设性的谈话, 我得到了你。
270	I will support you.	我会支持你。
271	I'll be there.	我会在那里。
272	I actually have a rule.	我其实有个规矩
273	I just don't gossip right now.	我只是不说闲话 现在。
274	I don't like how I feel afterwards, so I just stop doing it.	我不喜欢我之后的感受, 所以我只是停止这样做。
275	I think most workplace drama exists because people are having	我认为大多数工作场所的戏剧存在 因为人们有
276	the wrong conversation with the wrong person	与错人交谈错误
277	and not willing to say it to their face.	不愿当着他们的面说
278	The rule is go direct to the source.	规矩是直接去源头
279	If you have a problem with somebody, who's the first person you should talk to?	如果你对某个人有意见 那你应该和谁谈?
280	Them.	他们。
281	Not me and not the group chat.	不是我 也不是集体聊天
282	Also, I think sometimes people are just looking for somebody to hold a line.	而且,我觉得有时候人们只是 寻找一个人来维持一条线。
283	So if you do that and you stop being everybody's emotional middleman,	所以,如果你这样做,你停止 成为每个人的情感中间人,
284	the team is going to start handling its own friction instead of laundering it through you.	团队将开始处理 自己的摩擦 而不是通过你清洗它。
285	I actually saw this the other week.	我上周真的看到了这个
286	My president in a leadership meeting just brought it up.	我的总统刚刚在领导会议上提出这个问题。
287	He said, I had to deal with a bunch of annoying drama this week.	他说,我不得不处理 一堆烦人的戏剧本周。
288	I didn't appreciate having to deal with this issue.	我并不想面对这个问题
289	Just one of the leaders had a little flame out.	只有一位领导人有一点火光。
290	And he's like, and I didn't appreciate the fact that I had to mediate	他喜欢,我不 欣赏的事实,我不得不调解
291	two of your direct reports.	你的两份直接报告
292	This should really be your issue.	这应该是你的问题
293	And he's like, anybody have anything they want to say about that?	他喜欢,有人有什么 他们想说什么呢?
294	So it's just out in the open as opposed to this thing.	因此,它只是 露天与这个东西。
295	It's in the DMs that's behind the scenes.	这是在DMs 幕后。
296	And in fact, even today, I was like, listen, I can feel from both of your teams.	事实上,即使是今天,我还是想,听着, 我能感觉到你们两支队伍。
297	There's a lot of frustrations.	众生苦恼.
298	I really wish you two could feel like you're on the same team.	我真希望你们俩能觉得你们是一伙的
299	Both sides are frustrated with each other.	双方互感挫折.
300	And instead of being a team heads down, figuring it out,	而不是作为一个团队 头下来,想出它,
301	you guys are going back and forth and back channeling.	你们要回转和回转
302	It's honestly kind of exhausting.	真的有点累
303	Why can't you both just say, okay,	你们两个为什么不能说,好吧,
304	can you do this better?	你能做得更好吗?
305	What can I do better?	我还能做得更好吗?
306	Okay, I'll do that.	好吧,我会做到这一点。
307	And then have a conversation to ask if you two are nailing it.	然后有谈话 问你们两个是不是在钉它。
308	I'm like, you're all very competent.	我很喜欢,你们都 非常胜任。
309	Lord, we'd get more done if you worked this way.	狦硂妓暗и穦暗眔
310	He kind of gave me some feedback.	他给了我一些反馈
311	What are we not doing that can be improved?	我们没有做什么可以改进?
312	Who's saying what?	谁在说什么?
313	And I said, no, no, we're not playing the he said, she said game.	我说,不,不,我们不是玩 他说,她说游戏。
314	I want to make sure you guys are really working together.	我想确定你们真的在一起工作
315	Can you do that in a team?	你能在团队中做到这一点吗?
316	Everybody should be vibing on what we need to solve.	每个人都应该对我们需要解决的问题感到振奋。
317	This is not rocket science.	这不是火箭科学。
318	People have done way harder things than this.	人们做的比这更难
319	And, you know, eventually it's like, fair enough.	而且,你知道,最终 它就像,足够公平。
320	Okay, you know, we'll work on this.	好吧,你知道的,我们会努力的。
321	I hear you.	我听见了
322	I'll do my part.	我会尽我的责任的
323	I said, great, I will always hear your frustrations	我说,太好了,我会永远听到你的挫折感
324	as long as you guys are actually airing them out to each other.	只要你们真的在互相广播
325	Because the truth is, you will actually have a team	因为事实上,你们会有一个团队
326	that is so much higher functioning	这么高的功能
327	if you push them to have crucial conversations.	如果你逼他们进行关键的对话
328	To the point of I literally have handed people before	到现在为止,我已经把人交给了
329	(原始内容存档于2018-09-26). Rridical Candor or Crucial Conversations.
330	And so don't feel like leadership is about being liked.	所以不要觉得领导力是被喜欢的。
331	It's about making your people better.	而是让你的人变得更好
332	I think in the future, you should aspire to be the type of leader	我认为将来你应该成为领袖
333	where other people say, yeah, they're really tough,	其他人说,是的,他们真的很坚强,
334	but man, am I better because of it.	但男人,我是不是更好 因为它。
335	It's not just that I like that person.	不只是我喜欢那个人
336	I like who I am because of them.	我喜欢我是谁,因为他们。
337	Because of the way that I have learned watching them,	因为我学会了看着他们
338	I am more valuable today.	今天我更有价值。
339	Don't you want to be respected, not just liked?	难道你不想被尊重吗?
340	I know I do.	我知道我会的
341	Soft feedback feels kind,	柔软的反馈感觉很好
342	but honest feedback will actually build your employees up.	但是诚实的反馈 将实际上建立你的员工。
343	Every manager has to choose between comfort or growth.	每个经理都要在舒适或成长之间做出选择.
344	So remember clear.	所以请记住清楚。
345	And this week, have that conversation.	这周,我们来谈谈
346	Do the difficult convo.	做困难的召集。
347	Talk to the person that feels off.	跟感觉不对的人谈谈
348	Maybe get rid of the person on your team	也许摆脱你队里的人
349	that will not do the thing you know they need to do.	那不会做你所知道的事
350	And if this is you in your personal life,	如果这是你的个人生活,
351	do the exact same thing.	做同样的事情。
352	Half of the stuff that works in business	生意上一半的东西
353	works even better in your personal life.	在你个人生活中工作得更好
354	There's just no guardrails	没有护栏
355	{\fn黑体\fs22\bord1\shad0\3aHBE\4aH00\fscx67\fscy66\2cHFFFFFF\3cH808080}你该怎么用八卦的硬话
356	in your personal life too.	在你的个人生活中也是如此。
357	And if you want us to help you become a better leader,	如果你想让我们帮你成为更好的领袖
358	if you want us to help you have these kinds of conversations	如果你希望我们帮助你 有这种对话
359	and figure out where you are choosing comfort over growth,	想想你在哪里选择舒适而不是成长,
360	maybe you should join the boardroom	也许你应该加入董事会
361	where we help owners do this every single week.	我们帮助业主每周做一次
362	Can you tell me if this episode was useful?	你能告诉我这集是否有用吗?
363	And what is the thing that is holding you back from growth?	是什么让你无法成长?

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