【商业表达】停止啰嗦：像CEO一样说话的3-2-1技巧

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P1 · 【商业表达】停止啰嗦：像CEO一样说话的3-2-1技巧 p01 中英字幕 (P1)

【商业表达】停止啰嗦：像CEO一样说话的3-2-1技巧 p01 中英字幕 (P1)

发布于 2026-08-20 · 时长 25:56

字幕摘录

时间	英文	中文
0:00	If you want better conversations, conversations where people actually listen to you, where you stop	如果你想要更好的对话, 对话,人们实际上听你的, 你停下来
0:05	rambling, where you sound sharp, fast, decisive, then today's episode is for you.	胡说八道,你听起来很尖锐,迅速,果断, 那么今天的剧集是给你的。
0:09	Because I've	因为我已经
0:10	realized something.	发现一些东西。
0:10	Communication isn't a soft skill, it's a science.	交流不是软技能,而是科学.
0:13	And scientists can now tell	科学家们现在知道
0:14	you what makes someone magnetic and what makes someone instantly forgettable.	你是什么 使某人磁化 和是什么 让某人瞬间忘记。
0:20	So I'm going to	所以我会
0:20	give you a bunch of research-backed, neuroscience-backed communication tools that I've realized almost all of	给你一堆研究支持的 神经科学支持的交流工具 我已经意识到几乎所有
0:26	the top 1% use, but nobody else talks about.	最高的1%使用, 但没有人谈论。

展开字幕全文（636 条）

序号	英文	中文
1	If you want better conversations, conversations where people actually listen to you, where you stop	如果你想要更好的对话, 对话,人们实际上听你的, 你停下来
2	rambling, where you sound sharp, fast, decisive, then today's episode is for you.	胡说八道,你听起来很尖锐,迅速,果断, 那么今天的剧集是给你的。
3	Because I've	因为我已经
4	realized something.	发现一些东西。
5	Communication isn't a soft skill, it's a science.	交流不是软技能,而是科学.
6	And scientists can now tell	科学家们现在知道
7	you what makes someone magnetic and what makes someone instantly forgettable.	你是什么 使某人磁化 和是什么 让某人瞬间忘记。
8	So I'm going to	所以我会
9	give you a bunch of research-backed, neuroscience-backed communication tools that I've realized almost all of	给你一堆研究支持的 神经科学支持的交流工具 我已经意识到几乎所有
10	the top 1% use, but nobody else talks about.	最高的1%使用, 但没有人谈论。
11	This is how you change the way you speak in minutes,	这就是你改变说话方式的方式
12	not years.	没有几年。
13	Mindset shift number one.	智定第一转.
14	People mirror your microbehaviors in about 200 milliseconds.	人们在大约200毫秒内 照亮你的微行为
15	Think like less than the blink of an eye.	想想比眨眼还小
16	This is something called the neuro echo effect.	这叫神经回声效应
17	And it's	这是
18	pretty wild.	相当狂野。
19	So neuroscientists at the University of Parma discovered that your brain has mirror	帕尔马大学的神经科学家发现 你的大脑有镜子
20	neurons that fire within 200 milliseconds of watching someone else move or emote, which	神经元,在200毫秒内发射 看着别人移动或发出,
21	basically means people don't respond to what you say.	基本上意味着人们不回应你说的话.
22	They respond to the emotional signal you send	他们回应你发出的情感信号
23	before the words even happen.	之前的话甚至发生。
24	So if you speak in tension, their nervous system tenses.	所以如果你在紧张中说话, 他们的神经系统紧张。
25	If you	如果你们
26	speak more certainty, their nervous system calms.	他们的神经系统会平静下来
27	If you are scattered, they kind of mirror that	如果你是分散的, 他们有点镜像
28	scattered.	散开
29	If you speak grounded, they become more grounded.	如果你说禁足的话,它们就会变得更加禁足。
30	And this is the real reason that	这是真正的原因
31	top speakers or the people that you look up to or the CEOs you look up to in the world,	顶级演讲者或你仰望的人 或你仰望的CEO 在世界上,
32	they look pretty calm when they speak.	他们说话时看起来很平静
33	Because they're actually trying to regulate the room's	因为他们实际上试图调节房间的
34	nervous system without anyone noticing.	神经系统没人注意
35	You know, I remember when I walked into a room	我还记得我走进房间的时候
36	of a bunch of private equity guys.	一群私募股权的家伙
37	You could imagine a mahogany table, a bunch of guys in suits	你可以想象一个毛糯米桌,一群穿西装的家伙
38	sitting around it.	围绕而坐.
39	I'm the youngest person by far.	我是最年轻的
40	I'm the only female.	我是唯一一个女性。
41	I know it's a stereotype,	我知道这是一个陈规定型,
42	but it's what happened.	但事情就是这样
43	At that point, we're coming in to talk about my company.	那时,我们来谈谈我的公司
44	And there	还有
45	was no chair for me.	对我来说不是椅子
46	Nobody stood up.	没有人站起来。
47	Nobody asked to pull up a chair.	没人要拉椅子
48	And they were sort of	他们有点
49	all arguing on top of each other, talking about things, ignoring me.	互相争吵 谈论事情 无视我
50	And there's many ways I	我有很多办法
51	pulled up a chair and I just sat down quietly and I waited.	我悄悄地坐下来等
52	I didn't try to speak over them.	我没有试图谈论他们。
53	I	一、导 言
54	didn't try to push through them.	没有试图通过他们。
55	I just sat there like I had all the time in the world for them to	我只是坐在那里 就像我一直有时间 让他们
56	figure out their small things.	找出他们的小东西。
57	Because here's why.	因为这就是原因。
58	I made a promise to myself that I do not make	我对自己发誓,我不会
59	myself small for small men.	我为小男人而小
60	And I don't think you should do so either.	我想你也不应该这么做
61	You know, I've walked into	你知道,我走进
62	PE meetings where everyone is talking over each other like caffeinated squirrels.	PE会面时,大家都像咖啡松鼠一样互相交谈.
63	I don't play	我不玩游戏
64	a game.	一个游戏。
65	I sit, quiet, and within like 30 to 90 seconds, the entire energy shifts back towards you	我静静地坐着 30到90秒内 整个能量都转向你
66	because people mirror these micro behaviors faster than they actually process your words.	因为人们反映这些微观行为的速度 比实际处理你的话。
67	They would never listen to me if I started piping in, if I started shouting, if I tried to get their	他们永远不会听我的,如果我开始 管道,如果我开始喊,如果我试图得到他们的
68	attention and said, quietly let the room come to you.	注意并说, 悄悄地让房间来找你。
69	And then there's this other thing that's	还有一件事
70	fascinating about the brain and the way you communicate.	对大脑和沟通方式很感兴趣
71	And that is that the brain is	这就是大脑
72	addicted to novelty, not logic.	沉迷于新奇而非逻辑
73	So they call this the orienting response.	因此,他们称之为定向反应。
74	So if you want to	如果你愿意的话
75	instantly grab somebody's attention, you need to give them something unexpected, right?	立刻引起别人的注意 你得给他们一些意想不到的东西,对吧?
76	So there's	这么说
77	a Russian neuroscientist that discovered this reflex.	一个俄罗斯神经科学家发现了这种反射
78	But anytime a brain encounters novelty,	但每当大脑遇到新鲜事物
79	it diverts a lot of processing power to it.	它会转移很多的处理能力。
80	And so your brain is actually wired to prioritize	所以,你的大脑实际上被线 优先
81	surprise, curiosity, pattern breaks over logical information.	惊喜,好奇,图案打破了逻辑信息.
82	That's how we get you on TikTok with	这就是我们让你上TikTok的方法
83	these crazy clickbait little videos that happen, right?	这些疯狂的点击器 小视频发生,对不对?
84	So the way you start a conversation matters	所以,你开始谈话的方式很重要
85	more than the conversation itself, which is crazy.	比谈话本身更疯狂
86	If you lead with something that disrupts the brain,	如果你领导的东西 扰乱大脑,
87	that is surprising fact, bold statement, a strange question.	这是令人惊讶的事实,大胆的发言,一个奇怪的问题。
88	The brain literally has to pay attention	大脑必须注意
89	and then it has to stick there for a second because it's actually manually processing it,	然后它必须在那里停留一秒钟 因为它实际上是手动处理的,
90	sort of like a car starting up a motor slowly.	有点像汽车 启动马达慢。
91	So I want you to ask yourself how many times you	所以我想问你自己多少次
92	worry about all the things that you're going to say to somebody, but not just what the first	担心你要对别人说的话 不只是第一次
93	sentence is.	句子为.
94	Three, I think people judge your intelligence by clarity, not complexity.	第三,我认为人们判断你的智慧是清晰的,而不是复杂的.
95	This took	这花了
96	me a long time to realize.	我很久没意识到
97	It's called the simplicity anchor.	这叫做简单的锚。
98	So a study from the University of	因此,大学的研究
99	Munich found something really fascinating.	慕尼黑发现一些非常迷人的东西.
100	When speakers use simple language, listeners rate them	发言者使用简单语言时,听众会给他们评分
101	as smarter, more competent, more trustworthy.	更聪明,更能胜任,更可信
102	But when speakers use complicated or overly technical	但当发言者使用复杂或过于技术化
103	language, listeners assume they're hiding something insecure, not as smart as they look.	语言,听众们认为他们在隐藏一些不安全的东西,而不是看上去那么聪明.
104	And I've seen	我见过
105	this firsthand.	这是第一手。
106	When you go into an investment meeting, one of the first things you want to do	当你参加投资会议时,你首先要做的事情之一
107	is you want the other person to think that you're smart.	你想让别人觉得你很聪明
108	You're asking for money from them,	你向他们索要钱
109	but immediately listen to it.	但马上听
110	Next time you get your spidey senses up on somebody because	下次你得到你的spidey感官 对某人,因为
111	they start using words like cogent.	他们开始使用 类似说服力的词。
112	And I find this to be divisive instead of like that makes	我发现这是分裂 而不是像它使
113	sense.	感觉
114	And I'm not sure everybody would agree with that.	我不确定大家会同意这一点。
115	So if you want people to think you're smart,	如果你想让人们觉得你很聪明
116	the crazy part, you got to stop trying to sound smart.	疯狂的部分,你必须停止试图 听起来聪明。
117	Simplicity actually shows a new IQ signal,	简单化实际上显示一个新的智商信号,
118	shows a higher IQ signal.	显示更高的智商信号。
119	The other part about this that's true is that questions actually	另一部分是真的 问题其实是
120	increase dopamine.	增加多巴胺。
121	So they call this the curiosity loop.	他们把这叫做好奇心循环。
122	Carnegie Mellon scientists discovered that	卡内基梅隆科学家发现
123	when you ask someone a question, especially an open-ended one, their brain releases dopamine.	当你问某人一个问题,特别是一个开放式的, 他们的大脑释放多巴胺。
124	That's like the happiness drug.	这就像幸福药。
125	Dopamine makes people more alert, more engaged and more curious.	多巴胺使得人们更加警惕,更加投入和好奇.
126	This is why questions pull people into conversations, not away from them.	这就是为什么问题吸引人们参与对话,而不是远离他们。
127	How many	有多少个
128	times have you been in a conversation with somebody and they're just talking about themselves	你曾经和别人交谈过 他们只是在谈论自己
129	and you want to die until you can get a word in or potentially, I don't know, respond to something.	你想死,直到你能得到一个词 或潜在的,我不知道, 回应的东西。
130	That's why one of the most famous books of all time, which is How to Win Friends and Influence	所以最著名的一本书 就是如何赢得朋友和影响力
131	People by Dale Carnegie, the entire book, you can skip it.	戴尔·卡内基(Dale Carnegie)的作品,全书,你可以跳过.
132	The book goes like this, shut up,	书是这样的,闭嘴,
133	listen more.	听着。
134	People care more about what you know about them than what they know about you.	人们更关心你了解他们 而不是了解你
135	So try opening next time with something like, hey, can I ask you something I never asked before?	所以,尝试打开 下次的东西,喜欢,嘿, 我能问你的东西 我从来没有问过?
136	Do you want to hear something strange?	你想听奇怪的东西吗?
137	Can I test an idea on you?	我能测试一下你的想法吗?
138	It's like, ooh, me?	这就像,哦,我?
139	I'm so special.	我很特别。
140	This is just for you and I.	这只是为你和我。
141	It's something unique.	这是独特的东西。
142	I once closed a deal because I asked the seller,	我曾经结过交易 因为我问卖家
143	what would make this sale feel like a relief instead of a risk?	是什么使这个销售感觉像一个解脱而不是一个风险?
144	I could just tell he was	我只能说他是
145	super tight.	超紧的
146	He didn't want to sell his business.	他不想卖掉他的生意
147	Actually, there's so many physical reactions	其实,有这么多的物理反应
148	people have.	人们有。
149	He had these little hives.	他有这些小蜂巢。
150	It actually happens a lot on men, I've noticed.	我注意到男人身上经常发生这种事
151	When they're nervous, they'll break out in kind of red splotches on their neck and I could just	当他们紧张的时候,他们会在他们的脖子上爆发 一种红色的斑点,我可以只是
152	tell he was in a heightened state.	说他处于高度状态
153	He didn't really want to talk about his business financials.	他不想谈他的生意财务
154	He was	他曾经是
155	kind of scared that they were too messed up in order for me to want to buy this business.	有点害怕他们太乱了 让我想买这个生意
156	And so he was getting heightened and heightened and heightened.	所以他越来越高,越来越高。
157	And even though I was trying to	尽管我想
158	down regulate, I couldn't break him out of it.	我无法摆脱他
159	But I said, instead, I just kind of leaned in quietly	但我说,相反,我只是 那种悄悄地倾斜
160	and was like, hey, what would make this sale feel like a relief instead of a risk?	并且喜欢,嘿嘿, 是什么会使这个销售 感觉像一个解脱而不是风险?
161	And I'm quietly giving it to him.	我悄悄地给了他
162	I'm leaning in, showing intent.	我靠进去了 表现了意图
163	I'm very focused on him	我非常关注他
164	and his entire body changed because questions chemically shift conversations, especially if	他整个身体都变了 因为化学上对换位交谈有疑问 特别是如果
165	you pair it with the last video that we did.	你把它和我们拍的最后一部视频配对
166	It's about communication and how to speak like a CEO	这是关于沟通和如何说话 像CEO
167	because your voice literally changes other people's heart rates.	因为你的声音会改变别人的心率
168	This is called vocal	这叫声
169	entrainment.	摄受.
170	And this one also blew my mind.	这个也让我心碎了
171	University College London found that humans	伦敦大学学院发现人类
172	subconsciously sink their heartbeats to the rhythm of a speaker's voice, vocal entrainment.	潜意识中沉没着他们的心跳 与一个演讲者的声音的节奏,声波的内涵。
173	So if you speak rushed, restless, stressed, heart rate is going to increase.	所以如果你说话匆忙,不安,紧张, 心率会上升。
174	They're going	他们走了
175	If you speak steady, decisive, rhythmic, their heart rate calms, they feel safer.	如果你说话稳健,果断,节奏, 他们的心率平静, 他们感觉更安全。
176	So your voice is not just communication.	所以你的声音不只是交流
177	It's like a remote control for other people's	就像别人的遥控器
178	physiology, other people's biology and makeup and how they feel in an instance.	生理学,其他人的生物学和化妆 以及他们在一个例子中的感受
179	This is probably why	也许这就是为什么
180	I don't know if you guys have ever been to a yoga class where the yoga class is like a super fast,	我不知道你们有没有去过瑜伽课 瑜伽课就像超级快餐
181	high pitched voice.	高调的声音。
182	Awful could be the best speaker in the world, but they have to speak.	可怕的可能是世界上最好的演讲者,但他们必须发言。
183	You ever notice they speak in kind of this yoga tongue like and downward dog and then we're going	你曾经注意到他们说话 那种瑜伽舌头 像和下犬 然后我们去
184	to move into upward dog and then we're going to why is that they're trying to rhythmically control	然后我们去问为什么 他们试图节奏控制
185	your breathing.	正
186	And this rhythmic language sounds more true to people.	而这种节奏性语言听起来对人们更真实.
187	The processing fluency effect	处理流利效应
188	is actually where a Princeton study found that statements that rhyme or follow rhythm are judged	普林斯顿的研究发现 押韵或跟随节奏的语句
189	as more truthful.	更真实一点
190	And what does this mean?	这是什么意思?
191	It means if the brain can process a phrase quickly,	意思是如果大脑能快速处理一个短语
192	it assumes it must be correct.	它假设它必须是正确的。
193	See how these lines feel on you right now.	看看你现在的感受
194	Move slow to move fast.	动作慢一点
195	What you track grows back.	你追踪到的成长。
196	You repeat what you don't repair.	复说不修之事.
197	It's kind of	有点
198	like, doesn't it sound like deep wisdom?	听起来不是很聪明吗?
199	It's like you repeat what you don't repair.	复说如来不修行.
200	You're like,	碞钩
201	yeah, that is true.	没错
202	I've noticed that, right?	我注意到了,对吧?
203	Like even before the meaning is processed,	就像在意义被处理之前
204	it sounds like wisdom.	这听起来像智慧。
205	And this rhythmic language in your language can be incredibly persuasive.	你语言中的节奏语言 能够令人难以置信的说服力。
206	And so how would you use this in everyday life?	那你在日常生活中如何使用这个?
207	Well, sometimes we call it talking in tweets.	有时候我们用推特称呼它说话
208	So for the founders that we teach at Contrarian Thinking, half the time I'll say, when was the	因此,对于创始人,我们在Contrarian Thinking教, 一半的时间我会说,什么时候是
209	last time you actually said those words out loud that you're speaking right now?	上次你大声地说,你现在说话?
210	Like,	喜欢,
211	have you ever read somebody's email?	你看过别人的邮件吗?
212	It's a founder when they're trying to sound smart.	当他们试图发出聪明的声音时,这是一个创始人.
213	And they're like, to whom it may concern.	他们喜欢, 可能涉及到谁。
214	You know, please find attached the subject matter	你知道,请找到所附的主题
215	of this email, which is in regards to our conversation we had last week, I'd like to	关于我们上周的谈话,我想
216	shut up.	闭嘴
217	That's not English.	这不是英语。
218	Instead, think about how you could say more or what is called high	相反,想想你该怎么说 或什么叫做高
219	signal with less words.	信号用字少。
220	So high signal to noise ratio.	如此高的信号和噪音比。
221	And that might be something like quick	说不定会很快
222	follow up on the one important thing we talked about last week.	我们上周谈到的一件重要事情 继续跟进
223	Like, how can you just be as	喜欢,你怎么能只是像
224	concise as possible?	尽可能简洁?
225	And some of the most impactful people of our generation, there's a guy by the	我们这代人中最有影响力的人 有一个家伙
226	banger one liners.	一号线
227	If you can speak in one liners, people will repeat your words back to you.	如果你能用单行本说话,人们会重复你的话。
228	The	那个
229	simpler it is, the more rhythmic it is, the more people will repeat your words back.	简单一点,节奏越强 人们就越会重复你的话
230	If you can get	如果你可以得到
231	people to repeat your words back to you, what happens?	人们会重复你的话 对你,发生了什么事?
232	They follow you, they listen to you,	他们跟着你,他们听你的
233	they think that you are truthful, because you literally put words in their mouth.	他们认为你是诚实的, 因为你字面上把话放在他们的嘴里。
234	If you want	如果你想的话
235	to get hyper tactical on this, there's something called the 321 trick.	为了让战术超强 有个叫321的把戏
236	And I can't remember where	我不记得在哪里
237	I stole this from originally, but it's so good.	我从原来偷来的,但很好吃
238	And so I want to share it with you.	所以我想告诉你
239	The step one	第一步
240	is pause three seconds.	暂停三秒钟。
241	So when you are in a situation where you want to communicate	所以,当你处于一种情况,你想沟通
242	aggressively, you want to be listened to, you are in one of those difficult conversations,	激烈的,你想听, 你在那些困难的对话之一,
243	I want you to pause for three seconds.	我要你暂停三秒钟。
244	This is actually going to activate part of your brain.	这实际上会激活你大脑的一部分。
245	Neuroscientists found that when you pause even briefly, your anterior cingulate cortex activates	神经科学家发现,当你停下来甚至短暂地, 你的前脑环状皮层激活
246	a fancy way of saying the part of your brain responsible for error detection and attention	说出你大脑中 负责发现和注意错误的部分
247	or lies, it comes to attention.	或谎言,它引起注意。
248	And the pause literally kind of clears your mental windshield,	暂停会从字面上清除你的精神挡风玻璃
249	allows you to see what is true or not.	让你看到什么是真实与否。
250	So somebody says something you don't like,	所以有人说你不喜欢的东西
251	you're going to pause one, two, three, then you're going to do step two, give only two points.	你将暂停一,二,三, 然后做第二步,只给两分。
252	This	这个
253	is called dual track working memory that the brain really can't process too many things at once.	叫做双轨工作记忆 大脑真的不能同时处理太多的事情
254	So it can usually process a verbal and a visual track.	因此它通常可以处理一个口头和视觉轨道.
255	So when you limit to two points,	所以,当你限制两点,
256	both tracks sync.	两个音轨同步。
257	And then, can you please repeat that point back to me?	然后,请你再重复一遍 对我来说?
258	So what am I doing?	我该怎么办?
259	I'm	и琌
260	putting my hand out there, like pointing to a specific point, my movement is mimicking	把我的手放在那里, 就像指向一个特定点, 我的动作正在模仿
261	my communication.	我的通讯
262	And I'm giving them one thing to act on.	我给了他们一件事来行动。
263	Step three, end with one question.	第三步,以一个问题结束。
264	This is how you interrupt what's called the default mode network.	这就是你如何打断所谓的默认模式网络。
265	So your brain has a	所以,你的大脑有一个
266	default mode, like the way that it runs every single day.	默认模式, 就像它每天运行的方式。
267	It's why when you drive to the office,	这就是为什么当你开车去办公室,
268	for instance, you ever get to the office, you're like, Oh, I forget, like, I didn't even remember	比如说,你到过办公室,你好像,我忘了,我不记得了
269	driving here, right?	开车过来,对吧?
270	That's daydreaming, wondering your default mode network and questions,	这是白日梦, 想知道你的默认模式网络和问题,
271	shut that down instantly.	立刻关掉
272	It like immediately forces the brain to come into the present moment,	它喜欢立即迫使大脑进入现在的时刻,
273	whether it wants to or not.	无论它是否愿意。
274	And this is how you pull anyone back into the conversation,	这就是你如何拉任何人回到对话,
275	even if they were drifting.	即使他们漂泊。
276	So let's say you really want somebody to pay attention to you,	假设你真想有人注意你
277	you're going to go, okay, here's the three, two, one method.	你会去,好吧,这是三,二,一个方法。
278	You're going to pause after they speak	等他们说话你就停手
279	three, two, one, that is going to make them pay attention.	三,二,一, 这会让他们注意。
280	They're like, Oh, that's uncomfortable.	他们喜欢, 哦,这很不舒服。
281	What's happening here to step, I want to talk about this one point visual plus plus verbal	这里发生什么了,我想谈谈这个一点 视觉加口头
282	cue.	开始
283	Last point.	最后一点。
284	Do you understand what the goal is for this?	你知道目标是什么吗?
285	Or can we talk about that one point	或者我们可以谈谈这一点
286	together pulls them back into the conversation.	一起把他们拉回对话中
287	Super easy trick for difficult, important	超级容易的技巧 困难,重要
288	conversations.	谈话。
289	There are some tactical tools, I think that we all should just have in our toolbox	有一些战术工具,我想我们都应该在工具箱里
290	when it comes to communicating.	在交流方面。
291	And I wish they had taught this in school instead of like, whatever	我希望他们在学校教这个 而不是像什么
292	we learned in marketing or communication or writing.	我们在营销、沟通或写作方面学到了
293	You know, one of the things that's most	你知道,其中一件事是最
294	important in speaking in this day and age where we have the shorter attention span than ever	在今天这个时代,我们受到的关注比以往要短
295	is speaking in sprints, not streams or what's called segmented speech processing.	是在短跑中说话,不是溪流 或所谓的分割语音处理。
296	So MIT researchers found the brain processes information in chunks.	因此麻省理工学院的研究人员发现大脑过程信息以块为单位.
297	Maybe you've heard this	也许你听说过这个
298	before before, not like continuous.	以前,不是像连续。
299	So after about 12 seconds of uninterrupted speech,	因此,经过大约12秒 不间断的演讲,
300	listener attention goes falls to the ground.	听众的注意力掉到地上
301	TikTok actually based its entire algorithm on	TikTok实际上基于其整个算法
302	this single idea that humans can only pay attention for five to 10 seconds.	人类只能注意5到10秒
303	So why do you think the	那你为什么认为
304	for you page is all built on these five to 10 second video hooks immediately because they read	您的页面都是用这五到十秒的视频钩子 即刻完成的 因为他们读了
305	the MIT research about chunking.	麻省理工学院关于块化的研究
306	So what does that mean for us individually speak in five to 10	这对我们来说意味着什么? 在5到10分钟内单独发言
307	seconds sprints.	秒冲刺。
308	This is so uncomfortable.	这太不舒服了。
309	Nobody does it.	没有人这样做。
310	And yet it works every single time.	但每次都会成功
311	I	一、导 言
312	want you to pause briefly, then continue after five to 10 seconds.	需要你短暂的暂停,然后在5到10秒后继续.
313	And you're going to watch	你会看着
314	clarity skyrocket, especially try doing this in a fight.	清晰度飙升,特别是在战斗中尝试这样做。
315	It's a fascinating thing to do if you are	如果你是的话,这是件令人着迷的事
316	fighting with your husband or wife or friend or partner or whoever.	和你丈夫、妻子、朋友、伴侣或任何人发生战斗。
317	Do you ever feel you can't get	你曾经觉得你得不到
318	a word in like they're like going on and on and on and all you're doing is waiting until they're	一言为定 就像他们喜欢 不停地,你所做的只是等待 直到他们
319	done talking so that you can get in there and do the same thing.	说话是为了让你能进去 做同样的事情
320	I'm going to come right back and	我马上回来
321	then you go on for as long as possible as possible.	然后你继续尽可能长的时间。
322	That's like this Mexican standoff between the two	这就像墨西哥的僵持 两人
323	of you just like monologuing each other until you shoot yourselves in the face not speaking from	你们只是喜欢独唱 直到你们朝自己脸上开枪
324	experience.	经验
325	And anyway, the way to get around that is to not do whatever human wants to do,	总之 绕过去的方法 就是不做人类想做的事
326	which is speak for a long time, it's to go, I really just wish you wouldn't raise your voice	这是很长一段时间, 它的去,我真的希望你 不提高你的声音
327	when we spoke less than 10 seconds, shut up, let them go on for 16 years.	当我们说话不到10秒, 闭嘴,让他们继续16年。
328	I really wish that during	我真的希望这期间
329	our next conversation, we could sit down and maybe have a glass of wine while we're talking about	我们下次谈话 我们可以坐下来喝杯酒
330	this.	这个
331	Shut up, let them go on.	闭嘴,让他们继续
332	At a certain point, the shortness of your responses allows	在某一时刻,你的答复很短,允许
333	the other person to actually hear you and it's going to shorten theirs too.	另一人听到你的声音 也会缩短他们的时间
334	Try it, comment below,	试试看,下面的评论,
335	let me know if it works for you.	如果对你有用就告诉我
336	As you can see, I use a lot of hand gestures.	如你所见,我用了很多手势
337	They actually say	他们说
338	you should gesture before you speak.	说话前你应该先手势
339	This is called gesture priming.	这叫手势刺激
340	So lots of studies on this,	所以很多关于这个的研究,
341	but the one I like the best is from UC Berkeley that found that gestures actually precede speech	但我最喜欢的 是从UC伯克利发现 手势实际上在演讲之前
342	in the brain.	在大脑。
343	What does that mean?	这是什么意思?
344	Your hands help your brain form the thoughts.	你的手帮助你的大脑 形成思想。
345	So if you want to	如果你愿意的话
346	think clearly while you talk, move your hands first, like no dead hands.	你说话的时候想清楚了 先动一下手 就像没有死手一样
347	One of the most	其中一个
348	uncomfortable things that you can do actually in having a difficult conversation is to go from	很难相处的事情就是从
349	this, so hands in front of me talking to people, to this, hands behind of me not being able to see.	手放在我面前 和别人说话 手放在我后面
350	Why?	为什么?
351	What does this immediately make you feel when my hands are behind me?	当我的双手在我身后时 这让你立即感到什么?
352	Like what is she holding?	她拿着什么?
353	What does she got back there?	她有什么东西?
354	This, my hands are hidden.	这个 我的手藏起来了
355	Why?	为什么?
356	The reason why actually goes back to	原因其实是回到
357	the caveman days, which is that if our hands are hidden, we could have a weapon in them.	洞穴人的日子,那就是 如果我们的手被隐藏, 我们可以有一个武器在里面。
358	You know, Jan from HR could be like, ah, but that's probably not going to happen.	你知道,来自HR的Jan 可能像,啊, 但这可能不会发生。
359	And yet that is still how our little lion brain works.	然而,我们的小狮子大脑依然如此。
360	And so no more hidden hands,	所以,不再隐藏的手,
361	no more dead hands, no more limp hands, all of that screams that somebody could hurt you as opposed	不再有死手 不再有跛脚的手 所有那些尖叫声 有人会伤害你
362	to, hey, open hands mean I want to communicate with you.	打开双手意味着我想和你交流
363	Come here.	过来
364	Look how, look how harmless I am.	你看,看我是多么无害。
365	You just landed your first major client.	你刚刚降落了你的第一个主要客户。
366	Congrats.	恭贺.
367	This is huge.	这是巨大的。
368	But here's the thing.	但问题是
369	Big wins come	大赢家来了
370	with big exposure.	与大暴露。
371	One mistake, one mishap, one unexpected accident.	一个错误 一个意外 一个意外
372	And that dream contract could	而那个梦想合同可以
373	turn into a nightmare.	变成噩梦
374	Next insurance helps owners like you protect what you're building.	下一个保险会帮助你这样的业主保护你正在建造的东西.
375	So you get	所以你会得到
376	instant online quotes, coverage tailored to your specific business and an instant certificate of	即时在线引用、针对您具体业务的覆盖和即时证书
377	insurance so you can start work immediately.	保险让你可以马上开始工作。
378	No complicated forms, no waiting around for someone	没有复杂的形式,没有等待的人
379	in a cubicle to approve your livelihood.	在一个小屋里 批准你的生计。
380	So whether you're a contractor, creator, consultant,	所以,无论你是一个承包商, 创造者,顾问,
381	cleaning crew, next makes it painless to get protected so you can focus on growth,	接下来会让保护人员无痛无痛 这样你就能专心成长
382	not what could go wrong.	不会出错的
383	Winning is great, but getting covered is what keeps those wins.	赢是伟大的,但盖住 是保持这些赢。
384	Check out nextinsurance.com slash Cody and protect your first major contract today.	检查下一个保险.com slash Cody 并保护你的第一份重要合同今天。
385	The other thing that I want you to ponder is like, maybe you've noticed this in this	我想让你考虑的另外一件事是,也许你注意到了这一点
386	little podcast rant that I'm doing today for you too, is that stories stick 22 times more than facts,	我今天也为你而作的播客狂言 故事比事实多出22倍
387	which is fascinating.	令人着迷
388	The Stanford researcher found that people remember stories 22% more	斯坦福的研究员发现 人们还记得22%的故事
389	than statistics alone.	而不是仅仅统计。
390	Why?	为什么?
391	Because stories activate our sensory cortex, our motor cortex,	因为故事会激活我们的感官皮层 运动皮层
392	and our limbic system.	和我们的边缘系统。
393	This is kind of like if all neurons were firing at the same time,	这就像如果所有的神经元同时开火,
394	it's this neural coupling that lets the listener live your point rather than hear it.	正是这种神经耦合使听者能听到你的观点而不是听到它.
395	Do you know	你知道吗
396	what I'm talking about?	我说的是什么?
397	Like if I'm just like, people remember stories 22 times more.	如果我只是喜欢, 人们记得的故事22倍多。
398	You're	琌
399	like, okay, I could remember that number 22%.	喜欢,好吧,我可以记得 数字22%。
400	That's my rational brain.	那是我理智的大脑。
401	I can process that.	我可以处理。
402	But if I said, your toddler will never touch the stove again, when you tell him the story	但是如果我说,你的小孩再也不会碰炉子了 当你告诉他这个故事
403	about the first time you touched the stove, how much it hurt, the pain that you had in your hand,	关于你第一次碰炉子, 有多痛, 你手上的痛苦,
404	and the toddler then goes to touch it and you mimic the feeling of how much it hurt and you	然后小男孩去摸它, 你模仿的感觉 有多痛苦和你
405	lick it and you're like, ah, this feels awful.	舔它,你就像, 啊,这感觉糟透了。
406	You're going to remember that story.	你会记得那个故事的
407	So remember,	所以记住
408	if you want to persuade somebody, even a toddler, tell them a story.	如果你想说服别人,甚至一个小孩, 告诉他们一个故事。
409	Don't use a spreadsheet.	别用电子表格
410	Don't	别
411	use numbers alone.	单用数字。
412	And that goes to this idea of perceptual language, which is based on Cornell	也就是基于康奈尔语的感知语言
413	research.	调查。
414	So what does perceptual language mean?	洞察语言是什么意思?
415	Cornell studies show that people trust speakers	康奈尔的研究表明,人们信任演讲者
416	more when they use language based on perception.	当他们使用基于感知的语言时,就更多了。
417	Let me give you a bad example first.	让我先给你一个不好的例子。
418	We must	我们必须
419	improve operational efficiency.	提高业务效率。
420	What?	你说什么?
421	What does that even mean?	这是什么意思?
422	I don't fully understand.	我还没完全明白
423	We need	我们需要
424	to see fewer steps.	看少步数。
425	We need smoother handoffs.	我们需要更顺利的交割
426	We need cleaner workflows.	我们需要更清洁的工作流程。
427	Your brain likes it when	你的大脑喜欢它的时候
428	they can visualize it.	他们可以想象它。
429	You're like, okay, 10 steps, two steps.	你就像,好吧,十步,两步。
430	I can see.	我看得出来
431	This is why often	这就是为什么经常
432	I like to be on a whiteboard when I'm explaining complex topics.	我喜欢在白板上 当我解释复杂的话题。
433	Why, if you were to explain a	为什么,如果你要解释
434	topic to me, I will say, I am a visual learner.	我想说,我是一个视觉学习者。
435	And really that saying, I am a visual learner,	说真的,我是一个视觉学习者,
436	you're not.	你没有。
437	Everybody's a visual learner.	每个人都是视觉学习者。
438	Everybody learns more and retains more when	每个人学得更多,保留更多
439	they both see it and when they are actually able to visualize it as opposed to conceptualize it.	他们既看到它,又看到它们实际上能够想象它而不是概念化。
440	So, you know, I remember one of the times that in our business more than any other,	所以,你知道,我记得有一次 在我们的生意比任何其他,
441	we were stuck on a problem.	我们遇到麻烦了
442	And the problem in this particular instance was we couldn't figure	问题是我们无法想象
443	out how we were going to buy the second company and integrate it, which is called mergers and	我们打算如何买下第二家公司 并把它整合起来 这叫做合并
444	acquisition post M&A integration.	收购后并购整合.
445	And the reason is because we had all of these people.	原因就在于我们拥有这些人。
446	So you	这么说你
447	kind of imagine like two org charts.	想象一下像两张圆形图
448	They've got people everywhere on them.	他们到处都有人
449	There's dozens of them.	有数十人.
450	I'm like, does Dan go here?	丹会来这里吗?
451	Does Bob go there?	鲍勃会去那里吗?
452	It's so overwhelming.	其势浩荡.
453	And so we were talking	所以我们在谈论
454	through it.	通过它。
455	And I realized the only difference we needed to do is we needed to color code on	我意识到我们唯一需要做的区别 就是我们需要把代码涂上
456	a whiteboard the roles that people had at the varying companies and see which one were duplicative.	一个白板 人们在不同的公司 的角色, 并看到哪个是重复。
457	So a lesson that was taking us, I don't know, 45 minutes to talk through visually,	因此,这是一个教训 带给我们,我不知道, 45分钟 通过视觉交谈,
458	we figured out in 10 minutes when we were talking through it verbally, when we did it visually,	我们在10分钟内就想通了 当我们通过口头交谈, 当我们做了视觉,
459	we did it in less than 10 minutes.	我们不到10分钟就完成了
460	And so any time that you can do what we call it contrarian	所以,无论何时,你可以做 我们称之为反面
461	thinking show, don't tell.	思考节目,不要告诉。
462	Next, I want you to think about replacing these words that I almost	接下来,我要你考虑 替换这些话 我几乎
463	never want to hear from you again with two different ones.	再也不想从你那里听到 两个不同的。
464	I want you to replace I think	我想请你代替我
465	with I've observed.	我观察过
466	So Columbia University said statements framed as observations are seen as	因此,哥伦比亚大学说,作为观察框架的声明被视为
467	40% more credible than statements framed as opinions.	40%的可信度比言论 被设定为意见。
468	I think is actually this like,	我觉得其实是这样
469	it's a low confidence signal.	这是一个低信心信号。
470	I think we should do that.	我认为我们应该这样做。
471	Why?	为什么?
472	Just because you feel like it.	只是因为你喜欢它。
473	I've observed.	我观察过
474	Well, that seems to tell me that there's data backed behind it.	这似乎告诉我 背后有数据备份
475	So anywhere you	所以无论你在哪里
476	can, you should do two things as a CEO and a strong communicator.	作为首席执行官和强大的通讯员 你应该做两件事
477	One would be you should ask why	你该问为什么
478	someone thinks that we should do X, Y or Z.	有人认为我们应该做X,Y或Z。
479	And if you instead want to be the one influencing and	如果你更想成为 影响和
480	say I've observed, that's going to lend yourself more credibility.	说我已经观察了, 这会让自己更加可信。
481	You can also use these things	你也可以用这些东西
482	called temporal landmarks because behavioral economists found that time anchors drive action.	被称为时间标志 因为行为经济学家发现时间锚可以驱动行动
483	So you know how when you go to a checkout like Black Friday, they'll say like right now, today,	所以,你知道当你去 检查像黑色星期五, 他们会说现在,今天,
484	in the past 10 minutes, Barb from Iowa just bought this new shirt.	过去10分钟 来自爱荷华州的芭芭拉刚买了这件新衬衫
485	So did Jan. Like time	杨也是 像时间
486	creates this momentum for some reason.	创造这种势头是有原因的。
487	When we see somebody putting a limiter on it, a time limiter	当我们看到有人在它上加了一个限制器,一个时间限制器
488	on it will move faster.	它会移动得更快。
489	You can also use the cognitive snap.	也可以使用认知快讯.
490	So this is my favorite thing to do	这是我最喜欢做的事
491	ever at restaurants.	曾经在餐馆。
492	Try it in New York City.	试试纽约
493	I don't know why most people don't do this.	我不知道为什么大多数人不这样做。
494	It's	这是
495	so simple.	很简单
496	I want you to use your server's name and one detail about them.	我要你用你服务器的名字 和他们的细节
497	Oh, Tori, is that your	哦,托里,这是你的
498	name?	名字吗?
499	That's amazing.	这是惊人的。
500	I love your haircut.	我喜欢你的发型
501	我想点X,Y,Z.
502	Hey, Tori, is that your name?	嘿,托里,这是你的名字吗?
503	That's great.	赞曰.
504	Where are you from?	你从哪里来?
505	Like it sounds like, are you from Australia?	你来自澳大利亚吗?
506	One specific detail.	一个具体的细节。
507	You can also do this in meetings.	你也可以在会议上这样做。
508	Hey, John, earlier you mentioned your team was stuck.	嘿,约翰,早些时候你提到 你的团队被卡住了。
509	Let me show you something.	我给你看样东西
510	I'd love to get your opinion on this.	我很想知道你对此的看法
511	This is called self-referencing.	这叫做自我参考。
512	So it's like you're being referential to them first, which makes their brain think I'm getting	所以,这就像你 喜欢他们先, 这使得他们的大脑认为我得到
513	a compliment.	一个赞美。
514	I'm back in.	我回来了
515	Let's say you're talking to your husband and he's not paying	假设你在跟你丈夫说话 他不付钱
516	attention to you at all and he's watching the game and he's really wishing you weren't talking	注意你,他正在看比赛 他真的很希望你不说话
517	to him about whatever you're talking to him at that moment.	和他谈你和他说话的一切
518	I want you to try this.	我要你试试这个
519	I want you	и璶
520	to just say his name.	只是说出他的名字。
521	Hey, John, hey, yesterday you mentioned you wanted me to do this and see if he	嘿,约翰,嘿,昨天你提到 你想要我做到这一点,看看他
522	then draws back in.	然后再回来
523	This is incredible in meetings as a pullback for attention.	这在会议中令人难以置信,因为它吸引了注意力。
524	You can also do	你也可以这样
525	something really simple, which in this day and age is not that normal, which is open your rib cage.	一些非常简单的东西,在今天和这个年代, 它不是那么正常, 它打开你的肋骨笼。
526	This is called postural neuroendocrinology.	这被称为后神经内分泌学.
527	There's a mouthful for you.	尔时有言.
528	But most of us this day and	但今天我们大部分人
529	age have what's called a closed and a flared rib cage.	年龄有所谓的闭合 和耀斑肋笼。
530	It's from like typing like this too much	像这样打字太过分了
531	and short breathing.	呼吸短暂
532	So we kind of only breathe in our stomach.	所以我们的胃里只有呼吸
533	So when your rib cage is closed	所以当你的肋骨笼关上了
534	like this, it's going to actually increase your cortisol.	这样,它会增加你的皮质醇。
535	So that's your stress and it's going	所以,这就是你的压力 它去
536	to decrease your testosterone, which is like the aggressive energy that flows through us.	减少你的睾丸酮, 这就像侵略性的能量流经我们。
537	So when you open your rib cage and you raise your arms, that basically allows you to have a,	所以当你打开你的肋骨笼 举起你的手臂, 这基本上让你有一个,
538	what's called a calm dominance posture.	这叫冷静的支配姿态
539	And this is like real physiology.	这就像真正的生理学。
540	This isn't like a super	这不是一个超级
541	woman posing or anything like that.	女人摆姿势之类的
542	When you roll your shoulders back and you open up the ribs,	当你把肩膀往后翻 打开肋骨时
543	one, you can have a stronger voice because your rib cage is opening, but also it signals to the	一,你可以有一个更强的声音 因为你的肋骨笼正在打开, 但也向...
544	other person that you're in a dominance position.	别人说你处于支配地位。
545	And so you can try that next time you want to	所以,你可以尝试,下次你想
546	communicate more fully.	更充分地沟通。
547	I certainly believe in this more than the power posing.	我当然更相信这一点,而不是强势。
548	And these small	这些小
549	things are not meant to like manipulate somebody.	事情不应该被操控
550	This is meant for you to become a better	这是让你变得更好
551	communicator because I think that if we communicate better, then our lives get better.	通讯员因为我认为,如果我们更好地沟通,那么我们的生活就会改善。
552	We transfer more trust and we get the things we want.	我们转移更多的信任,我们得到我们想要的东西。
553	And often we help other people get the	我们经常帮助别人获得
554	things they want too.	他们也想要的东西。
555	And so this shouldn't be something sneaky you're doing.	所以这不应该是什么 偷偷你在做什么。
556	We're going to	我们要去
557	actually talk about taking turns and why that builds trust faster than agreement.	讨论轮到他们的原因 以及为什么这比协议更快建立信任
558	And so Harvard	所以哈佛大学
559	research shows you don't actually have to agree with somebody to build trust.	研究表明,你实际上不必同意别人建立信任。
560	You just have to	你只需要这样
561	roughly equal speaking time, literally.	从字面上来说,大约是平等的演讲时间。
562	You can disagree with somebody intensely,	你可以和某个人意见不一
563	but just give them the floor and watch what happens.	但还是请他们发言 看会发生什么事
564	If you allow somebody balance or equality,	如果你允许某人平衡或平等,
565	they feel it is just as good as agreement.	他们觉得这和协议一样好
566	And that is why often when you're sitting on a panel,	这就是为什么当你坐在一个面板上,
567	like I've had to do a panel before on a news station where we were on different sides of a	就像我之前在新闻台做过一个面板 在那里我们处在不同的一边
568	belief about capitalism and the economy, I tended to think it was good.	相信资本主义和经济, 我倾向于认为这是好的。
569	The person next to me	我身边的人
570	to think that socialism was better and that capitalism was not good.	认为社会主义是好的,资本主义是不好的。
571	I could not have	我无法拥有
572	disagreed with this person more.	更不认同这个人
573	Let me get that straight.	让我直说吧
574	From the bottom marrow of my bones,	从我的骨髓底部
575	I disagreed with this human.	我不同意这个人类
576	I think they were wrong about almost everything they said on set,	我觉得他们几乎都错了 他们所说的每句话,
577	but I made a promise to myself in the beginning that I would make this unemotional.	但一开始我向自己保证过 做这种不感性的事
578	And I wanted	而我却想要
579	to give my argument.	来表达我的观点
580	I wanted them to give theirs.	我希望他们付出他们。
581	And so all I did was speak and allow them to speak	所以,我所做的只是说,让他们说话
582	just as long as I did.	就像我一样长。
583	Now they piped in a few times to interrupt me.	现在,他们管了几次 打断我。
584	And what did I do?	我做了什麽?
585	I actually allowed it.	我其实允许的。
586	I allowed it calmly.	我平静地允许了
587	And then I just said, you know what?	然后我就说,你知道吗?
588	I just gave you	我刚刚给了你
589	the full two minutes.	整整两分钟。
590	I think it's reasonable for you to give it back to me.	我认为你还给我是合理的
591	Would that be	这将是
592	unreasonable?	不合理吗?
593	I also love using that.	我也喜欢用这个
594	Would that be unreasonable?	这不合理吗?
595	Because it's basically,	因为基本上,
596	what are they going to say?	他们会说什么?
597	Fine.	还好
598	No, that would be unreasonable.	不,那是不合理的。
599	It's like you can't almost argue	好像你几乎无法争辩
600	with it.	用这个
601	Such a good trick question.	这么巧妙的问题
602	And lo and behold, at the very end, the guy comes up to me	看着,最后,那家伙来找我
603	and goes, that was incredible.	和去,这是不可思议的。
604	I think we agreed about a lot.	我想我们说了很多
605	I was like, I literally don't think	我当时想,我其实不认为
606	we could have agreed about less.	我们本来可以少说些
607	But he felt good because I allowed this equity in conversation.	但他感觉很好,因为我允许这种公平的对话。
608	And after you do that, I want you to end with something called a cognitive close.	在你这样做之后,我希望你 结束一个叫做认知接近。
609	Not a question.	不问.
610	So what does this mean?	这是什么意思?
611	People follow a recommendation 60% more often than an open-ended	人们比不限名额的人更经常遵守建议60%
612	question.	问题。
613	So I don't want you to end with, let me know what you think.	所以我不希望你结束, 让我知道你的想法。
614	I want you to end with,	我要你结束,
615	here's what I recommend we do next.	我建议我们接下来做
616	Here's what we should do next.	接下来我们要做的就是
617	Here's the next steps.	下面是下一步。
618	That's	这是
619	tighter.	更紧.
620	Here's the next steps.	下面是下一步。
621	You're just asserting dominance that that is going to be	你只是宣称统治地位 这将是
622	what happens next.	接下来会发生什么?
623	This is all leadership.	这些都是领导。
624	And as you can tell, it's actually not that complex.	如你所见,其实没那么复杂。
625	There's a series of little trials we've done as humans over time to realize that communication	我们作为人类为了实现沟通 做了一系列小试验
626	is not a soft skill.	不是一个柔软的技巧。
627	It's not something that you were born with.	这不是你生下来的
628	It's not something that only some	不仅仅是一些
629	people have.	人们有。
630	When people say he's an excellent communicator, that just means he has more data,	当人们说他是一个优秀的通讯员, 那只是意味着他有更多的数据,
631	more reps, and maybe more of this research than you do.	更多的代表,也许更多的研究 比你做的。
632	But now you're equally backed.	但现在你得到同样的支持。
633	Take three or five of these lessons, apply them to your life, and learn what it feels like to	接受三五个这样的课程, 应用到你的生活中, 并学习它的感觉
634	have other people lean in on every word that you say.	让其他人对你所说的每句话都倾斜
635	Because the game of business and of money	因为生意和金钱的游戏
636	is really just a game of communication.	只是一个交流游戏。

该视频共有字幕 636 条。解锁更多字幕为会员功能，请移动到 价格

P2 · 【商业表达】停止啰嗦：像CEO一样说话的3-2-1技巧 p02 无字幕 (P2)

【商业表达】停止啰嗦：像CEO一样说话的3-2-1技巧 p02 无字幕 (P2)

发布于 2026-08-20 · 时长 25:56

字幕摘录

时间	英文	中文
0:00	If you want better conversations, conversations where people actually listen to you, where	如果你想要更好的对话, 对话中人们实际上听你,在哪里
0:04	you stop rambling, where you sound sharp, fast, decisive, then today's episode is for	你别再胡说八道了,你听起来很尖锐,迅速,果断, 那么今天的剧集是用来
0:09	you.	你们
0:09	Because I've realized something.	因为我意识到一些事情。
0:10	Communication isn't a soft skill, it's a science.	交流不是软技能,而是科学.
0:13	And scientists can now tell you what makes someone magnetic and what makes someone instantly	科学家现在可以告诉你 是什么使一个人磁化 是什么使一个人瞬间
0:19	forgettable.	难忘的
0:19	So I'm going to give you a bunch of research-backed, neuroscience-backed communication tools that	所以我会给你一些研究支持的 神经科学支持的交流工具
0:25	I've realized almost all of the top 1% use, but nobody else talks about.	我已经意识到几乎所有的前1%的使用, 但没有人谈论。
0:29	This is how you change the way you speak in minutes, not years.	这就是你如何改变你说话的方式 几分钟,而不是几年。

展开字幕全文（561 条）

序号	英文	中文
1	If you want better conversations, conversations where people actually listen to you, where	如果你想要更好的对话, 对话中人们实际上听你,在哪里
2	you stop rambling, where you sound sharp, fast, decisive, then today's episode is for	你别再胡说八道了,你听起来很尖锐,迅速,果断, 那么今天的剧集是用来
3	you.	你们
4	Because I've realized something.	因为我意识到一些事情。
5	Communication isn't a soft skill, it's a science.	交流不是软技能,而是科学.
6	And scientists can now tell you what makes someone magnetic and what makes someone instantly	科学家现在可以告诉你 是什么使一个人磁化 是什么使一个人瞬间
7	forgettable.	难忘的
8	So I'm going to give you a bunch of research-backed, neuroscience-backed communication tools that	所以我会给你一些研究支持的 神经科学支持的交流工具
9	I've realized almost all of the top 1% use, but nobody else talks about.	我已经意识到几乎所有的前1%的使用, 但没有人谈论。
10	This is how you change the way you speak in minutes, not years.	这就是你如何改变你说话的方式 几分钟,而不是几年。
11	Mindset shift number one.	智定第一转.
12	People mirror your micro-behaviors in about 200 milliseconds, think like less than the	人们在200毫秒内 照亮你的微行为 思考比
13	blink of an eye.	眨个眼
14	This is something called the neuro-echo effect, and it's pretty wild.	这是所谓的神经-echo效应,它相当野性。
15	So neuroscientists at the University of Parma discovered that your brain has mirror neurons	所以帕尔马大学的神经科学家发现 你的大脑有镜像神经元
16	that fire within 200 milliseconds of watching someone else move, or emote, which basically	在200毫秒内开火 看别人移动, 或腾讯,基本上
17	means people don't respond to what you say, they respond to the emotional signal you send	意思是人们不回应你说的话 他们回应你发出的情感信号
18	before the words even happen.	之前的话甚至发生。
19	So if you speak in tension, their nervous system tenses.	所以如果你在紧张中说话, 他们的神经系统紧张。
20	If you speak more certainty, their nervous system calms.	如果你说得更确定 他们的神经系统会平静下来
21	If you are scattered, they kind of mirror that scattered.	如果你是分散的, 他们有点像 分散。
22	If you speak grounded, they become more grounded.	如果你说禁足的话,它们就会变得更加禁足。
23	And this is the real reason that top speakers, or the people that you look up to, or the	这就是顶级演讲者的真正原因 或者你仰望的人
24	CEOs you look up to in the world, they look pretty calm when they speak, because they're	你仰望的CEO在世界上, 他们说话时看起来相当平静,因为他们是
25	actually trying to regulate the room's nervous system without anyone noticing.	实际上,试图调节 房间的神经系统 没有人注意到。
26	You know, I remember when I walked into a room of a bunch of private equity guys.	我记得我走进一群私募股权的人的房间时
27	You could imagine a mahogany table, a bunch of guys in suits sitting around it.	你可以想象一个毛糯米桌, 一群穿西装的家伙坐在它周围。
28	I'm the youngest person by far.	我是最年轻的
29	I'm the only female.	我是唯一一个女性。
30	I know it's a stereotype, but it's what happened.	我知道这是个陈规定型 但事情就是这样
31	At that point, we're coming in to talk about my company, and there was no chair for me.	那时,我们来谈我的公司, 没有椅子给我。
32	Nobody stood up.	没有人站起来。
33	Nobody asked to pull up a chair.	没人要拉椅子
34	And they were sort of all arguing on top of each other, talking about things, ignoring me.	他们互相争吵 谈论事情 无视我
35	And there's many ways I could have approached this conversation.	我有很多方法可以接近这个对话。
36	But I walked in and I pulled up a chair and I just sat down quietly and I waited.	但我走进来,我拉起椅子, 我只是静静地坐下来,我等待。
37	I didn't try to speak over them.	我没有试图谈论他们。
38	I didn't try to push through them.	我没有试图通过他们。
39	I just sat there like I had all the time in the world for them to figure out their small	我只是坐在那里 就像我拥有所有的时间 在世界上,让他们 找出他们的小
40	things, because here's why.	事情,因为这就是原因。
41	I made a promise to myself that I do not make myself small for small men, and I don't	我对自己承诺过 我不会让自己变成小男人,我不会
42	think you should do so either.	你也应该这么做
43	You know, I've walked into PE meetings where everyone is talking over each other like	你知道,我已经走进PE会议 在那里每个人都在谈论对方喜欢
44	caffeinated squirrels.	咖啡质松鼠。
45	I don't play that game.	我不玩那个游戏。
46	I sit quiet and within like 30 to 90 seconds, the entire energy shifts back towards you	我静静地坐着 在30到90秒内 整个能量都转向你
47	because people mirror these micro behaviors faster than they actually process your words.	因为人们反映这些微观行为的速度 比实际处理你的话。
48	They would never listen to me if I started piping in, if I started shouting, if I tried	他们不会听我的,如果我开始 管道,如果我开始喊,如果我尝试
49	to get their attention and said, quietly, let the room come to you.	然后悄悄地说 让房间来找你
50	Then there's this other thing that's fascinating about the brain and the way you communicate.	还有一样东西吸引大脑 和你沟通的方式
51	And that is that the brain is addicted to novelty, not logic.	这就是大脑沉迷于新颖而非逻辑。
52	So they call this the orienting response.	因此,他们称之为定向反应。
53	So if you want to instantly grab somebody's attention, you need to give them something	所以,如果你想立即抓住别人的注意力, 你需要给他们一些东西
54	unexpected, right?	没想到吧?
55	So there's a Russian neuroscientist that discovered this reflex.	所以有个俄罗斯神经科学家发现了这种反射.
56	But any time a brain encounters novelty, it diverts a lot of processing power to it.	但每当大脑遇到新奇之处,它就会将大量的处理力转移给它.
57	And so your brain is actually wired to prioritize surprise, curiosity, pattern breaks over	所以,你的大脑实际上是被线 优先惊喜,好奇心,模式破解
58	logical information.	逻辑信息。
59	That's how we get you on TikTok with these crazy clickbait little	这就是我们如何让你在TikTok 与这些疯狂的点击小
60	videos that happen, right?	视频发生,对不对?
61	So the way you start a conversation matters more than the conversation itself, which is	所以,你开始谈话的方式 比谈话本身更重要,这就是
62	crazy.	疯了。
63	If you lead with something that disrupts the brain, that is surprising fact, bold	如果你领导的东西 扰乱大脑, 这是令人惊讶的事实,大胆
64	statement, a strange question.	声明,一个奇怪的问题。
65	The brain literally has to pay attention and then it has to stick there for a second	大脑必须注意,然后再坚持一会儿
66	because it's actually manually processing it, sort of like a car starting up a motor	因为它实际上是手动处理的, 有点像汽车启动一个马达
67	slowly.	慢慢来
68	So I want you to ask yourself how many times you worry about all the things	所以我要你问问自己 你为这些事担心多少次
69	that you're going to say to somebody, but not just what the first sentence is.	你要跟别人说 但不只是第一句
70	Three, I think people judge your intelligence by clarity, not complexity.	第三,我认为人们判断你的智慧是清晰的,而不是复杂的.
71	This took me a long time to realize.	我花了很长时间才意识到这一点。
72	It's called the simplicity anchor.	这叫做简单的锚。
73	So a study from the University of Munich found something really fascinating.	慕尼黑大学的一项研究 发现了一些非常迷人的东西。
74	When speakers use simple language, listeners rate them as smarter, more competent,	当发言者使用简单的语言时,听众会认为他们更聪明,更胜任,
75	more trustworthy.	更值得信赖。
76	But when speakers use complicated or overly technical language,	但当发言者使用复杂或过于技术性的语言时,
77	listeners assume they're hiding something insecure, not as smart as they look.	听众认为他们隐藏了一些不安全的东西,而不是看上去那么聪明.
78	And I've seen this firsthand when you go into an investment meeting.	我亲眼看到这个 当你进入一个投资会议。
79	One of the first things you want to do is you want the other person to think that	你想做的第一件事就是 让别人觉得
80	you're smart.	你很聪明
81	You're asking for money from them, but immediately listen to it.	你向他们索要钱,但马上听.
82	Next time you get your spidey senses up on somebody because they start using words	下次你得到你的spidey感知到某人 因为他们开始使用词
83	like cogent.	喜欢康格。
84	And I find this to be divisive instead of like,	我发现这是分裂 而不是喜欢,
85	that makes sense.	这有道理。
86	And I'm not sure everybody would agree with that.	我不确定大家会同意这一点。
87	So if you want people to think you're smart, the crazy part,	如果你想让人们觉得你很聪明 那疯狂的部分
88	you got to stop trying to sound smart.	别再装傻了
89	Simplicity actually shows a new IQ signal, shows a higher IQ signal.	简单化实际上显示一个新的智商信号,显示更高的智商信号.
90	The other part about this that's true is that questions actually increase dopamine.	另一部分是问题实际上会增加多巴胺。
91	So they call this the curiosity loop.	他们把这叫做好奇心循环。
92	Carnegie Mellon scientists discovered that when you ask someone a question,	卡内基梅隆科学家发现 当你问别人一个问题
93	especially an open-ended one, their brain releases dopamine, right?	他们的大脑释放多巴胺 对吧?
94	That's like the happiness drug.	这就像幸福药。
95	Dopamine makes people more alert,	多巴胺让人们更加警惕
96	more engaged and more curious.	更参与,更好奇。
97	This is why questions pull people into conversations, not away from them.	这就是为什么问题吸引人们参与对话,而不是远离他们。
98	How many times have you been in a conversation with somebody and they're just	你和别人谈过多少次了 他们只是
99	talking about themselves and you want to die until like you could get a word in	说到自己,你却想死 直到你能说话
100	or potentially, I don't know, respond to something.	或者可能,我不知道, 回应一些东西。
101	That's why one of the most famous books of all time,	所以最著名的一本书
102	which is How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie,	如何赢得朋友 并影响人们 戴尔卡内基,
103	the entire book, you can skip it.	整个书,你可以跳过它。
104	The book goes like this, shut up, listen more.	这本书是这样的,闭嘴,听好了
105	People care more about what you know about them than what they know about	人们更关心你所知道的 而不是他们所知道的
106	you.	你们
107	So try opening next time with something like, Hey,	所以,尝试打开下一次 类似的东西,嘿,
108	can I ask you something I never asked before?	我能问你一件事吗?
109	Do you want to hear something strange?	你想听奇怪的东西吗?
110	Can I test an idea on you?	我能测试一下你的想法吗?
111	It's like, Ooh, me?	这就像,哦,我?
112	I'm so special.	我很特别。
113	This is just for you and I.	这只是为你和我。
114	It's something unique.	这是独特的东西。
115	You know,	你知道吗,
116	I once closed a deal because I asked the seller,	我曾经结过交易 因为我问卖家
117	what would make this sale feel like a relief instead of a risk?	是什么使这个销售感觉像一个解脱而不是一个风险?
118	I could just tell he was like super tight.	我只能说他很紧
119	He didn't want to sell his business.	他不想卖掉他的生意
120	I actually, there's so many physical reactions people have.	其实,我有很多生理反应。
121	He had these little hives.	他有这些小蜂巢。
122	It actually happens a lot on men.	男人身上经常发生这种事
123	I've noticed when	我注意到什么时候
124	they're nervous, they'll break out in kind of red splotches on their neck.	他们很紧张 脖子上会有红斑
125	And I could just tell he was in a heightened state.	我只能说他处于高度状态
126	He didn't really want to talk about his business financials.	他不想谈他的生意财务
127	He was kind of scared that they were too messed up in order for me to want to buy	他害怕他们太乱了 让我想买
128	this business.	这件事情
129	And so he's getting heightened and heightened and heightened.	因此,他得到了提升和提升。
130	And even though I was trying to down regulate, I couldn't break him out of it.	虽然我试图放松管制 但我还是无法摆脱他
131	But I said, instead, I just kind of leaned in quietly and was like, Hey,	但我说,相反,我只是 那种悄悄地倾斜,就像,嘿,
132	what would make this sale feel like a relief instead of a risk?	是什么使这个销售感觉像一个解脱而不是一个风险?
133	And I'm quietly giving it to him.	我悄悄地给了他
134	I'm leaning in, showing intent.	我靠进去了 表现了意图
135	I'm very focused on him and his entire body changed because questions	我非常关注他 整个身体都变了 因为问题
136	chemically shift conversations,	化学转变对话,
137	especially if you pair it with the last video that we did,	特别是如果你把它和我们拍的最后一部视频配对
138	it's about communication and how to speak like a CEO,	而是沟通和如何像CEO一样说话
139	because your voice literally changes other people's heart rates.	因为你的声音会改变别人的心率
140	This is called vocal entrainment.	这叫做声道内涵.
141	This one also blew my mind.	这个也让我心碎了
142	University College London found that humans subconsciously sink their heartbeats	伦敦大学学院发现人类潜意识下沉着心跳
143	to the rhythm of a speaker's voice, vocal entrainment.	给一个演讲者的声音的节奏, 声音的内涵。
144	So if you speak rushed, restless, stressed, heart rate is going to increase.	所以如果你说话匆忙,不安,紧张, 心率会上升。
145	They're going to feel stressed.	他们会觉得压力很大
146	If you speak steady, decisive,	如果你说话稳健,果断,
147	rhythmic, their heart rate calms, they feel safer.	节奏,他们的心率平静,他们觉得更安全.
148	So your voice is not just communication.	所以你的声音不只是交流
149	It's like a remote control for other people's physiology,	这就像一个遥控器 对于别人的生理,
150	other people's biology and makeup and how they feel in an instance.	其他人的生物学和化妆 以及他们在某种情况下的感受
151	This is probably why,	这可能是为什么,
152	I don't know if you guys have ever been to a yoga class where the yoga class is	我不知道你们有没有去过瑜伽课 瑜伽课就是
153	like a super fast, high pitched voice, awful could be the best speaker in the	像一个超级快,高音, 可怕的可能是最好的扬声器
154	world, but they have to speak.	世界,但他们必须说话。
155	If you ever notice they speak in kind of this yoga tongue like and downward dog,	如果你注意到他们说话 那种瑜伽舌头 像和下行狗,
156	and then we're going to move into upward dog, and then we're going to,	然后我们搬进上层的狗, 然后我们要去,
157	why is that?	为什么?
158	They're trying to rhythmically control your breathing.	他们试图节奏控制你的呼吸。
159	And this rhythmic language sounds more true to people.	而这种节奏性语言听起来对人们更真实.
160	The processing fluency effect is actually where a Princeton study found that	处理流利效应实际上是普林斯顿研究发现
161	statements that rhyme or follow rhythm are judged as more truthful.	押韵或跟随节奏的语句被评为更真实.
162	And what does this mean?	这是什么意思?
163	It means if the brain can process a phrase quickly,	意思是如果大脑能快速处理一个短语
164	it assumes it must be correct.	它假设它必须是正确的。
165	See how these lines feel on you right now.	看看你现在的感受
166	Move slow to move fast.	动作慢一点
167	What you track grows back.	你追踪到的成长。
168	You repeat what you don't repair.	复说不修之事.
169	It's kind of like,	这有点像,
170	doesn't it sound like deep wisdom?	听起来不是很聪明吗?
171	It's like you repeat what you don't repair.	复说如来不修行.
172	You're like, yeah, that is true.	你就像,是的,这是真的。
173	I've noticed that, right?	我注意到了,对吧?
174	Like even before the meaning is processed, it sounds like wisdom.	就像在意义被处理之前 听起来就像智慧
175	And this rhythmic language in your language can be incredibly persuasive.	你语言中的节奏语言 能够令人难以置信的说服力。
176	And so how would you use this in everyday life?	那你在日常生活中如何使用这个?
177	Well,	那个
178	sometimes we call it talking in tweets.	有时我们称它为微博上的对话。
179	So for the founders that we teach at Contrarian Thinking, half the time,	因此,对于创始人,我们教 在康塔里安思考,一半的时间,
180	I'll say,	我会说,
181	when was the last time you actually said those words out loud that you're	你最后一次大声说这些话是什么时候?
182	speaking right now?	现在说话?
183	Like, have you ever read somebody's email?	你读过别人的邮件吗?
184	It's a founder when they're trying to sound smart.	当他们试图发出聪明的声音时,这是一个创始人.
185	And they're like,	他们喜欢,
186	to whom it may concern, you know,	可能涉及到谁,你知道,
187	please find attached the subject matter of this email,	随函附上这份电子邮件的主题,
188	which is in regards to our conversation we had last week,	关于我们上周的对话
189	I'd like to follow up on shut up.	我想继续 关闭。
190	What?	你说什么?
191	That's not English.	这不是英语。
192	Instead,	相反,
193	think about how you could say more or what is called high signal with less	想想怎么多说 或什么叫做高信号少
194	words.	词
195	So high signal to noise ratio.	如此高的信号和噪音比。
196	And that might be something like quick follow up on the one important thing we	这可能是一些东西 像快速跟进 我们一件重要的事情
197	talked about last week.	上星期聊过
198	Like,	喜欢,
199	how can you just be as concise as possible?	你怎么能那么简洁?
200	And some of the most impactful people of our generation,	还有我们这一代最有影响力的人
201	there's a guy by the name of Naval Ravikant,	有个叫拉维坎特海军的人
202	而他基本上以有banger 单线,banger 单线。
203	If you can speak in one-liners, people will repeat your words back to you.	如果你能用单行本说话, 人们会重复你的话给你。
204	The simpler it is, the more rhythmic it is,	越简单,越有节奏
205	the more people will repeat your words back.	越多的人会重复你的话
206	If you can get people to repeat your words back to you, what happens?	如果你能让人们重复你的话, 会发生什么?
207	They follow you.	他们跟着你
208	They listen to you.	他们听你的
209	They think that you are truthful because you literally put words in their mouth.	他们认为你是诚实的,因为你字面上把话放在他们的嘴里。
210	If you want to get hyper tactical on this,	如果你想得到超战术的这一点,
211	there's something called the three two one trick.	有个叫"三两一招"的
212	And I can't remember where I stole this from originally, but it's so good.	我不记得我从哪里偷来的,但是它太好。
213	And so I want to share it with you.	所以我想告诉你
214	The step one is pause three seconds.	第一步是暂停三秒钟。
215	So when you are in a situation where you want to communicate aggressively,	所以,当你处于一个情况,你想 积极沟通,
216	you want to be listened to, you are in one of those difficult conversations.	你想被倾听, 你在一个困难的谈话。
217	I want you to pause for three seconds.	我要你暂停三秒钟。
218	This is actually going to activate part of your brain.	这实际上会激活你大脑的一部分。
219	Neuroscientists found that when you pause even briefly,	神经科学家发现,当你停下来甚至短暂,
220	your anterior cingulate cortex activates a fancy way of saying the	你的前脑动脉皮质 激活了一种美妙的表达方式
221	part of your brain responsible for error detection and attention or lies,	你大脑的一部分 负责错误检测 和注意或谎言,
222	it comes to attention.	它引起人们的注意。
223	And the pause literally kind of clears your mental windshield,	暂停会从字面上清除你的精神挡风玻璃
224	allows you to see what is true or not.	让你看到什么是真实与否。
225	So somebody says something you don't like, you're going to pause one, two, three,	所以,有人说你不喜欢的东西, 你会暂停一,二,三,
226	then you're going to do step two, give only two points.	然后再做第二步,只给两分
227	This is called dual track working memory that the brain really can't process too	这叫做双轨工作记忆 大脑真的不能处理
228	many things at once.	很多事情,一瞬间。
229	So it can usually process a verbal and a visual track.	因此它通常可以处理一个口头和视觉轨道.
230	So when you limit to two points, both tracks sync.	所以,当你限制在两点, 两个轨道同步。
231	And then can you please repeat that point back to me?	那你能再说一遍吗?
232	So what am I doing?	我该怎么办?
233	I'm putting my hand out there, like pointing to a specific point.	我把手放在那里, 就像指向一个特定点。
234	My movement is mimicking my communication and I'm giving them one thing to act on.	我的动作在模仿我的交流 我给了他们一件事
235	Step three, end with one question.	第三步,以一个问题结束。
236	This is how you interrupt what's called the default mode network.	这就是你如何打断所谓的默认模式网络。
237	So your brain has a default mode, like the way that it runs every single day.	所以,你的大脑有一个默认模式, 就像它每天运行的方式。
238	It's, it's why when you drive to the office, for instance, you ever get to the	这就是为什么你开车去办公室 比如说,你曾经去过
239	office, you're like, Oh, I forget, like, I didn't even remember driving here.	办公室,你喜欢, 哦,我忘了,喜欢, 我甚至不记得开车在这里。
240	Right.	对
241	That's daydreaming, wondering your default mode network and questions.	这是白日梦, 想知道你的默认模式网络和问题。
242	Shut that down instantly.	立刻关掉
243	It like immediately forces the brain to come into the present moment, whether it	它喜欢立即迫使大脑 进入现在的时刻,是否它
244	wants to or not, and this is how you pull anyone back into the conversation,	不管你想不想, 这就是你如何拉任何人回到对话,
245	even if they were drifting.	即使他们漂泊。
246	So let's say you really want somebody to pay attention to you.	假设你真的希望有人注意你
247	You're going to go, okay, here's the three, two, one method.	你要去,好吧,这是三,二,一个方法。
248	You're going to pause after they speak three, two, one.	他们讲完三、二、一,你就停手
249	That is going to make them pay attention.	这会让他们注意。
250	They're like, Oh, that's uncomfortable.	他们喜欢, 哦,这很不舒服。
251	What's happening here to step.	这里发生什么了?
252	I want to talk about this one point visual plus, plus verbal cue last point.	我想谈谈这个一点 视觉加,加上口头提示 最后一点。
253	Do you understand what the goal is for this?	你知道目标是什么吗?
254	Or can we talk about that one point together, pulls them back into the	或者我们可以一起讨论一下 把他们拉回
255	conversation, super easy trick for difficult, important conversations.	对话, 超容易的技巧 困难,重要的谈话。
256	There are some tactical tools I think that we all should just have in our toolbox	我觉得我们工具箱里应该有战术工具
257	when it comes to communicating.	在交流方面。
258	And I wish they had taught this in school instead of like whatever we learned in	我希望他们在学校教这个 而不是我们学到的
259	marketing or communication or writing.	销售、交流或写作。
260	You know, one of the things that's most important in speaking in this day and age	你知道,在今天这个时代, 最重要的事情之一
261	where we have the shorter attention span than ever is speaking in sprints, not	我们的注意力比任何时候都短 是在短跑中说话,而不是
262	streams or what's called segmented speech processing.	溪流或所谓的分割语音处理.
263	So MIT researchers found the brain processes information in chunks.	因此麻省理工学院的研究人员发现大脑过程信息以块为单位.
264	Maybe you've heard this before, before, not like continuous.	也许你以前听过,以前听过, 不像连续。
265	So after about 12 seconds of uninterrupted speech, listener attention	所以,经过12秒 不间断的演讲, 听众的注意力
266	{\fn华文楷体\fs16\1cHE0E0E0}掉到地上
267	TikTok actually based its entire algorithm on this single idea that humans	TikTok实际上把整个算法 建立在人类的这个单一想法上
268	can only pay attention for five to 10 seconds.	只能注意5到10秒钟
269	So why do you think the for you page is all built on these five to 10 second	那你为什么认为你的页面 都建立在这5到10秒上
270	video hooks immediately because they read the MIT research about chunking.	因为他们读到了麻省理工学院关于块化的研究
271	So what does that mean for us individually?	那对我们个人意味着什么?
272	Speak in five to 10 seconds sprints.	5到10秒后说短跑
273	This is so uncomfortable.	这太不舒服了。
274	Nobody does it.	没有人这样做。
275	And yet it works every single time.	但每次都会成功
276	I want you to pause briefly, then continue after five to 10 seconds, and you're	我要你暂停一下 然后在5到10秒后继续
277	going to watch clarity skyrocket, especially try doing this in a fight.	特别想在战斗中这样做
278	It's a fascinating thing to do.	妙法无边.
279	If you are fighting with your husband or wife or friend or partner or whoever, do	如果你正在和你丈夫、妻子、朋友、伴侣 或任何人战斗,做
280	you ever feel like you can't get a word in?	你有没有觉得自己一个字都进不来?
281	Like they're like going on and on and on.	譬如如来如是不断.
282	And all you're doing is waiting until they're done talking so that you can get	而你所做的只是等待 直到他们说完,这样你可以得到
283	in there and do the same thing.	在那里做同样的事情。
284	I'm going to come right back and then you go on for as long as possible as possible.	我马上回来,然后你继续尽可能长的时间。
285	That's like this Mexican standoff between the two of you, just like monologuing each	这就像墨西哥的僵持 你们两个, 就像独唱
286	other until you shoot yourselves in the face, not speaking from experience.	直到你们朝自己脸上开枪,而不是从经验出发说话。
287	And anyway, the way to get around that is to not do whatever human wants to do,	总之 绕过去的方法 就是不做人类想做的事
288	which is speak for a long time.	这是很长一段时间。
289	It's to go, I really just wish you wouldn't raise your voice when we spoke	走了,我真的希望你别在我们说话的时候大声说话
290	less than 10 seconds.	不到10秒钟。
291	Shut up.	闭嘴
292	Let them go on for 16 years.	让他们继续16年
293	I really wish that during our next conversation, we could sit down and maybe	我真的希望下次谈话时 我们可以坐下来 也许
294	have a glass of wine while we're talking about this.	我们谈这个的时候喝杯酒
295	Shut up.	闭嘴
296	Let them go on.	让他们继续
297	At a certain point, the shortness of your responses allows the other person to	在某一时刻,你的答复很短,允许对方
298	actually hear you and it's going to shorten theirs too.	其实听到你,它会缩短他们的。
299	Try it.	试试
300	Comment below.	以下评论。
301	Let me know if it works for you.	如果对你有用就告诉我
302	As you can see, I use a lot of hand gestures.	如你所见,我用了很多手势
303	They actually say you should gesture before you speak.	他们说你说话前应该先做手势
304	This is called gesture priming.	这叫手势刺激
305	So lots of studies on this, but the one I like the best is from UC Berkeley that	所以很多研究, 但我喜欢最好的一个 是来自UC伯克利
306	found that gestures actually precede speech in the brain.	发现手势实际上先于大脑中的言语。
307	What does that mean?	这是什么意思?
308	Your hands help your brain form the thoughts.	你的手帮助你的大脑 形成思想。
309	So if you want to think clearly while you talk, move your hands first, like no	所以,如果你想清楚思考 当你说话,
310	dead hands.	死手 死手 死脚
311	One of the most uncomfortable things that you can do actually in having a difficult	最不舒服的事情之一,你可以做 实际上有一个困难
312	conversation is to go from this.	谈话应该从这个开始
313	So hands in front of me talking to people to this, hands behind of me not being	手放在我面前 和别人说话 手放在我身后
314	able to see.	能够看见。
315	Why?	为什么?
316	What does this immediately make you feel when my hands are behind me?	当我的双手在我身后时 这让你立即感到什么?
317	Like, what is she holding?	她拿着什么?
318	What does she got back there?	她有什么东西?
319	This, my hands are hidden.	这个 我的手藏起来了
320	Why?	为什么?
321	The reason why actually goes back to the caveman days, which is that if our hands	原因是 如果我们的手
322	are hidden, we could have a weapon in them.	藏起来,我们可能有武器
323	You know, Jan from HR could be like, ah, but that's probably not going to happen.	你知道,来自HR的Jan 可能像,啊, 但这可能不会发生。
324	And yet that is still how our little lion brain works.	然而,我们的小狮子大脑依然如此。
325	And so no more hidden hands, no more dead hands, no more limp hands.	因此不再隐藏双手,不再死手,不再瘸脚.
326	All of that screams that somebody could hurt you as opposed to, Hey, open hands.	所有那些尖叫,有人会伤害你 而不是,嘿,打开手。
327	I mean, I want to communicate with you.	我想和你沟通
328	Come here.	过来
329	Look how, look how harmless I am.	你看,看我是多么无害。
330	You just landed your first major client.	你刚刚降落了你的第一个主要客户。
331	Congrats.	恭贺.
332	This is huge, but here's the thing.	这是巨大的,但事情是这样的。
333	Big wins come with big exposure.	大胜与大曝光.
334	One mistake, one mishap, one unexpected accident.	一个错误 一个意外 一个意外
335	And that dream contract could turn into a nightmare.	那份梦想合同可能会变成噩梦
336	Next insurance helps owners like you protect what you're building.	下一个保险会帮助你这样的业主保护你正在建造的东西.
337	So you get instant online quotes, coverage tailored to your specific business and an	所以,你得到即时在线引文, 覆盖量适合你的具体业务
338	instant certificate of insurance.	即时保险证明。
339	So you can start work immediately, no complicated forms, no waiting around for	这样你就可以马上开始工作,没有复杂的表格,没有等待
340	someone in a cubicle to approve your livelihood.	有人在一个小屋里批准你的生计。
341	So whether you're a contractor, creator, consultant, cleaning crew, next makes it	所以,无论你是一个承包商,创造者,顾问,清洁人员, 接下来
342	painless to get protected so you can focus on growth, not what could go wrong.	无痛地得到保护 这样你就可以专注于成长,而不是什么会出错。
343	Winning is great, but getting covered is what keeps those wins.	赢是伟大的,但盖住 是保持这些赢。
344	Check out nextinsurance.com slash Cody and protect your first major contract today.	检查下一个保险.com slash Cody 并保护你的第一份重要合同今天。
345	The other thing that I want you to ponder is like, maybe you've noticed this in this	我想让你考虑的另外一件事是,也许你注意到了这一点
346	little podcast rant that I'm doing today for you too, is that stories stick 22	今天我为你做的播客小叫声 是故事贴22
347	times more than facts, which is fascinating.	比事实还多,这很迷人。
348	The Stanford researcher found that people remember stories 22% more than	斯坦福的研究员发现 人们记得的故事 22%以上
349	statistics alone.	仅统计。
350	Why?	为什么?
351	Because stories activate our sensory cortex, our motor cortex and our limbic system.	因为故事会激活我们的感官皮层 运动皮层和四肢系统
352	This is kind of like, um, if all neurons were firing at the same time, it's this	这有点像,嗯,如果所有的神经元 同时发射,这是
353	neural coupling that lets the listener live your point rather than hear it.	神经耦合使听者能听到你的观点而不是听到它。
354	Do you know what I'm talking about?	知见么.
355	Like if I'm just like, people remember stories 22 times more.	如果我只是喜欢, 人们记得的故事22倍多。
356	You're like, okay, I could remember that number 22%.	你就像,好吧,我可以记得那个号码22%。
357	Like that's my rational brain.	就像这是我理性的大脑
358	I can process that.	我可以处理。
359	But if I said your toddler will never touch the stove again, when you tell him	但如果我说你的小孩再也不碰炉子了 当你告诉他
360	the story about the first time you touched the stove, how much it hurt, the	关于你第一次碰炉子 有多疼的故事
361	pain that he, that you had in your hand and, uh, the toddler then goes to touch it	痛苦的他,你手中有 和,呃,孩子然后去触摸它
362	and you mimic the feeling of how much it hurt and you lick it and you're like,	你模仿了痛苦的感觉 你舔它,你喜欢,
363	ah, this feels awful.	啊,这感觉糟透了。
364	Like you're going to remember that story.	就像你会记得那个故事
365	So remember if you want to persuade somebody, even a toddler, tell them a	所以,记住,如果你想说服某人, 甚至一个小男孩,告诉他们
366	story, don't use a spreadsheet, don't use numbers alone.	别用电子表格,别用数字
367	And that goes to this idea of perceptual language, which is based on Cornell	也就是基于康奈尔语的感知语言
368	research.	调查。
369	So what does perceptual language mean?	洞察语言是什么意思?
370	Cornell studies show that people trust speakers more when they use language	康奈尔的研究表明,人们在使用语言时更信任演讲者.
371	based on perception.	基于感知。
372	Let me give you a bad example.	让我给你一个不好的例子。
373	First, we must improve operational efficiency.	首先,我们必须提高业务效率。
374	What, what does that even mean?	这是什么意思?
375	I don't fully understand.	我还没完全明白
376	We need to see fewer steps.	我们需要看到更少的步骤。
377	We need smoother handoffs.	我们需要更顺利的交割
378	We need cleaner workflows.	我们需要更清洁的工作流程。
379	Your brain likes it when they can visualize it.	你的大脑喜欢当他们可以想象它。
380	You're like, okay, 10 steps, two steps.	你就像,好吧,十步,两步。
381	I can see.	我看得出来
382	This is why often I like to be on a whiteboard when I'm explaining complex	这就是为什么我经常喜欢在白板上 当我解释复杂的
383	topics, why, if you were to explain a topic to me, I will say I am a visual	话题,为什么,如果你 向我解释一个话题, 我会说我是一个视觉
384	learner and really that's saying I am a visual learner.	学习者,其实这就是说我是一个视觉学习者。
385	You're not, everybody's a visual learner.	你不是,每个人都是一个视觉学习者。
386	Everybody learns more and retains more when they both see it and when they are	每个人都学习更多,保留更多 当他们看到,当他们看到
387	actually able to visualize it as opposed to conceptualize it.	实际能够想象它,而不是概念化。
388	So, you know, I remember one of the times that in our business, more than any	所以,你知道,我记得 在我们的生意中,有一次, 比任何
389	other, we were stuck on a problem.	另外 我们遇到麻烦了
390	And the problem in this particular instance was we couldn't figure out how we	问题是,我们不知道我们是如何
391	were going to buy the second company and integrate it, which is called mergers	本来打算买下第二家公司并合并,这叫做合并
392	and acquisition post M&A integration.	并购后整合。
393	And the reason is because we had all of these people.	原因就在于我们拥有这些人。
394	So you could kind of imagine like two org charts.	所以,你可以想象 像两个Org图表。
395	They've got people everywhere on them.	他们到处都有人
396	There's dozens of them.	有数十人.
397	I'm like, does Jan go here?	我很喜欢, 杨在这里吗?
398	Does Bob go there?	鲍勃会去那里吗?
399	It's so overwhelming.	其势浩荡.
400	And so we were talking through it and I realized the only difference we needed to	所以,我们通过它交谈, 我意识到唯一的区别 我们需要
401	do is we needed to color code on a whiteboard the roles that people had at the	需要我们在白板上涂色代码 人们扮演的角色
402	varying companies and see which one were duplicative.	了解哪个公司是重复的。
403	So a lesson that was taking us, I don't know, 45 minutes to talk through visually.	所以这是个教训,我不知道, 45分钟的视觉交谈。
404	We figured out in 10 minutes when we were talking through it verbally, when we did	我们10分钟后就想通了 当我们在口头交谈的时候
405	it visually, we did it in less than 10 minutes.	从视觉上看,我们用不到10分钟就完成了。
406	And so any time that you can do what we call it contrarian thinking, show, don't	所以,无论何时,你可以做 我们称之为反思,显示,不要
407	tell.	告诉。
408	Next, I want you to think about replacing these words that I almost never	接下来,我希望你考虑 替换这些字 我几乎从来没有
409	want to hear from you again with two different ones.	欲复以二种不同声闻.
410	I want you to replace I think with I've observed.	我要你用我观察过的东西来代替我
411	So Columbia University said statements framed as observations are seen as 40%	因此,哥伦比亚大学说, 被设定为观察 40%
412	more credible than statements framed as opinions.	比作为意见的言论更可信。
413	I think is actually this like it's a low confidence signal.	我觉得这就像一个低信心信号。
414	I think we should do that.	我认为我们应该这样做。
415	Why?	为什么?
416	Just because you feel like it.	只是因为你喜欢它。
417	I've observed.	我观察过
418	Well, that seems to tell me that there's data backed behind it.	这似乎告诉我 背后有数据备份
419	So anywhere you can, you should do two things as a CEO and a strong communicator.	所以,无论你在哪里,你应该做两件事 作为首席执行官和强大的通讯员。
420	One would be you should ask why someone thinks that we should do X, Y or Z.	一个是你应该问 为什么有人认为我们应该做X,Y或Z。
421	And if you instead want to be the one influencing and say I've observed, that's	如果你想成为那个 影响和说我观察过,这就是
422	going to lend yourself more credibility.	让你更可信
423	You can also use these things called temporal landmarks because behavioral	你也可以使用这些东西 被称为时间标志 因为行为
424	economists found that time anchors drive action.	经济学家发现时间锚驱动动作.
425	So, you know how when you go to a checkout like Black Friday, they'll say like	所以,你知道当你去 检查像黑色星期五, 他们会说喜欢
426	right now, today, in the past 10 minutes, Barb from Iowa just bought this new	现在,今天 在过去的10分钟里, 来自爱荷华州的芭芭拉刚刚买了这个新的
427	shirt.	衬衫。
428	So did Jan.	杨也是
429	Like time creates this momentum for some reason.	像时间创造这种势头是有原因的。
430	When we see somebody putting a limiter on it, a time limiter on it will move faster.	当我们看到有人在它上加一个限制器时,它上加一个时间限制器会移动得更快.
431	You can also use the cognitive snap.	也可以使用认知快讯.
432	So this is my favorite thing to do ever at restaurants.	这是我在餐馆最爱做的事
433	Try it in New York City.	试试纽约
434	I don't know why most people don't do this.	我不知道为什么大多数人不这样做。
435	It's so simple.	很简单
436	I want you to use your server's name and one detail about them.	我要你用你服务器的名字 和他们的细节
437	Oh, Tory, is that your name?	哦,托里,那是你的名字吗?
438	That's amazing.	这是惊人的。
439	I love your haircut.	我喜欢你的发型
440	我想点X,Y,Z.
441	Hey, Tory, is that your name?	嘿,托里,这是你的名字吗?
442	That's great.	赞曰.
443	Where are you from?	你从哪里来?
444	Like it sounds like are you from Australia?	好像你来自澳大利亚?
445	One specific detail.	一个具体的细节。
446	You can also do this in meetings.	你也可以在会议上这样做。
447	Hey, John, earlier you mentioned your team was stuck.	嘿,约翰,早些时候你提到 你的团队被卡住了。
448	Let me show you something.	我给你看样东西
449	I'd love to get your opinion on this.	我很想知道你对此的看法
450	This is called self-referencing.	这叫做自我参考。
451	So it's like you're being referential to them first, which makes their brain think	所以,这就像你 喜欢他们先, 这使得他们的大脑思考
452	I'm getting a compliment.	我得到了一个赞美。
453	I'm back in.	我回来了
454	Let's say you're talking to your husband and he's not paying attention to you at	假设你在跟你丈夫说话 他没注意你
455	all.	都一样
456	And he's watching the game and he's really wishing you weren't talking to	他正在看比赛 他真的很希望你没有说话
457	him about whatever you're talking to him at that moment.	你刚才和他谈什么
458	I want you to try this.	我要你试试这个
459	I want you to just say his name.	我要你直接说出他的名字
460	Hey, John.	约翰
461	Hey, yesterday you mentioned you wanted me to do this and see if he	嘿,昨天你说你要我这么做 看看他是不是
462	then draws back in.	然后再回来
463	This is incredible in meetings as a pullback for attention.	这在会议中令人难以置信,因为它吸引了注意力。
464	You can also do something really simple, which in this day and age is not that	你也可以做一些非常简单的事情, 在今天这个年龄,不是那样的
465	normal, which is open your rib cage.	正常,这是打开你的肋骨笼。
466	This is called postural neuroendocrinology.	这被称为后神经内分泌学.
467	There's a mouthful for you.	尔时有言.
468	But most of us this day and age have what's called a closed and a flared rib	但是,我们大多数人 这一天和年龄 有所谓的闭合 和耀斑肋骨
469	cage.	笼盖。
470	It's from like typing like this too much.	这是从像打打 这样太多。
471	And short breathing.	和短暂的呼吸。
472	So we kind of only breathe in our stomach.	所以我们的胃里只有呼吸
473	So when your rib cage is closed like this, it's going to actually increase your	所以当你的肋骨笼像这样关上时 它会增加你的体力
474	cortisol.	皮质醇.
475	So that's your stress and it's going to decrease your testosterone,	所以这就是你的压力 它会减少你的睾丸酮,
476	which is like the aggressive energy that flows through us.	这就像冲动的能量流过我们
477	So when you open your rib cage and you raise your arms, that basically allows	所以当你打开你的肋骨笼 举起你的手臂, 这基本上允许
478	you to have a what's called a calm dominance posture.	你有一个所谓的 平静的支配姿态。
479	And this is like real physiology.	这就像真正的生理学。
480	This isn't like a superman woman posing or anything like that.	这不是一个超人女人的姿势之类的
481	When you roll your shoulders back and you open up the ribs, one, you can have a	当你把肩膀往后翻 打开肋骨,一个,你可以有一个
482	stronger voice because your rib cage is opening, but also it signals to the other	更强烈的声音,因为你的肋骨笼正在打开 但也向对方发出信号
483	person that you're in a dominance position.	你处于主导地位的人
484	And so you can try that next time you want to communicate more fully.	所以下次你想更充分地交流时,你可以尝试一下。
485	I certainly believe in this more than the power posing.	我当然更相信这一点,而不是强势。
486	And these small things are not meant to like manipulate somebody.	而这些小东西并不是为了 操纵某人。
487	This is meant for you to become a better communicator, because I think that if we	这是让你成为一个更好的交流者, 因为我认为如果我们
488	communicate better, then our lives get better, we transfer more trust and we get	沟通更好,然后我们的生活变得更好, 我们转移更多的信任,我们得到
489	the things we want.	我们想要的东西。
490	And often we help other people get the things they want too.	我们经常帮助别人得到他们想要的东西。
491	And so this shouldn't be something sneaky you're doing.	所以这不应该是什么 偷偷你在做什么。
492	We're going to actually talk about taking turns and why that builds trust faster	我们实际上要谈轮班 为什么那样会更快建立信任
493	than agreement.	而不是约定。
494	And so Harvard research shows,	哈佛的研究表明
495	you don't actually have to agree with somebody to build trust.	其实你不必同意别人建立信任
496	You just have to share roughly equal speaking time.	你只需要分享 大致平等的演讲时间。
497	Literally.	当然
498	You can disagree with somebody intensely,	你可以和某个人意见不一
499	but just give them the floor and watch what happens.	但还是请他们发言 看会发生什么事
500	If you allow somebody balance or equality,	如果你允许某人平衡或平等,
501	they feel it is just as good as agreement.	他们觉得这和协议一样好
502	And that is why often when you're sitting on a panel,	这就是为什么当你坐在一个面板上,
503	like I've had to do a panel before on a news station where we were on different	就像我之前在一家新闻台上做一个面板一样
504	sides of a belief about capitalism and the economy, I tended to think it was good.	对于资本主义和经济的信念,我倾向于认为是好的。
505	The person next to me tended to think that socialism was better and that	我旁边的人倾向于认为社会主义更好,
506	capitalism was not good.	资本主义不好。
507	I could not have disagreed with this person more.	我不能再不同意这个人了
508	Let me like get that straight.	让我直说吧
509	Like from the bottom marrow of my bones,	就像我骨子里的骨髓一样
510	I disagreed with this human.	我不同意这个人类
511	I think they were wrong about almost everything they said on set,	我觉得他们几乎都错了 他们所说的每句话,
512	but I made a promise to myself in the beginning that I would make this	但一开始我向自己保证过 我会做这个
513	unemotional and I wanted to give my argument.	毫无感情 我想和我争论
514	I wanted them to give theirs.	我希望他们付出他们。
515	And so all I did was speak and allow them to speak	所以,我所做的只是说,让他们说话
516	just as long as I did.	就像我一样长。
517	Now they piped in a few times to interrupt me.	现在,他们管了几次 打断我。
518	And what did I do?	我做了什麽?
519	I actually allowed it.	我其实允许的。
520	I allowed it calmly.	我平静地允许了
521	And then I just said, you know what?	然后我就说,你知道吗?
522	I just gave you the full two minutes.	我刚给你两分钟时间
523	I think it's reasonable for you to give it back to me.	我认为你还给我是合理的
524	Would that be unreasonable?	这不合理吗?
525	I also love using that.	我也喜欢用这个
526	Would that be unreasonable as because it's basically, what are they going to say?	那不合理吗? 因为基本上,他们会说什么?
527	Fine.	还好
528	No, that would be unreal.	不,那将是不真实的。
529	It's like, you can't almost argue with it.	这就像,你不能 几乎与之争论。
530	It's such a good trick question.	这是一个很好的骗局问题。
531	And lo and behold, at the very end,	忽然间,
532	the guy comes up to me and goes, that was incredible.	那家伙走过来我走, 这是不可思议的。
533	I think we agreed about a lot.	我想我们说了很多
534	I was like,	我当时想,
535	I literally don't think we could have agreed about less,	我实在不认为我们可以少说一点
536	but he felt good because I allowed this equity in conversation.	但他感觉很好 因为我允许这种公平的对话。
537	And after you do that,	你这样做之后,
538	I want you to end with something called a cognitive close, not a question.	我要你用一个叫做认知接近的东西结束,而不是一个问题。
539	So what does this mean?	这是什么意思?
540	People follow a recommendation 60% more often than an open-ended question.	人们比一个无限制的问题更经常地听从建议60%。
541	So I don't want you to end with, let me know what you think.	所以我不希望你结束, 让我知道你的想法。
542	I want you to end with, here's what I recommend we do next.	我建议你做下一步
543	Here's what we should do next.	接下来我们要做的就是
544	Here's the next steps.	下面是下一步。
545	That's even tighter.	更紧了
546	Here's the next steps.	下面是下一步。
547	You're just asserting dominance that that is going to be what happens next.	你只是宣称统治地位 接下来会发生什么
548	This is all leadership.	这些都是领导。
549	And as you can tell, it's actually not that complex.	如你所见,其实没那么复杂。
550	There's a series of little trials we've done as humans over time to realize that	我们作为人类做了一系列小试验 以意识到
551	communication is not a soft skill.	交流不是一种柔软的技能。
552	It's not something that you were born with.	这不是你生下来的
553	It's not something that only some people have.	这不是只有一些人有的东西。
554	When people say he's an excellent communicator,	当人们说他是一个优秀的通讯员,
555	that just means he has more data, more reps,	这说明他有更多的数据,更多的代表,
556	and maybe more of this research than you do.	也许更多的研究 比你做的。
557	But now you're equally backed.	但现在你得到同样的支持。
558	Take three or five of these lessons, apply them to your life,	接受三五个这样的课程, 应用到你的生活中,
559	and learn what it feels like to have other people lean in on every word that	并学习是什么感觉 让其他人倾斜 每一个字
560	you say because the game of business and of money is really just a game of	你说因为生意游戏和金钱游戏
561	communication.	交流。

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