如何变得自信
字幕摘录
| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| 0:00 | Hiya and welcome back today. | 嗨,欢迎你回来 |
| 0:01 | I am going to be answering how I approach this topic of confidence | 我会回答我如何对待这个信任话题 |
| 0:04 | in general and where I am on my confidence journey. | 总的来说,我正在我的信心之旅。 |
| 0:07 | So it might just be fun perhaps to | 所以也许只是很有趣 也许 |
| 0:09 | explore this thing with me if you're into that sort of thing. | 如果你喜欢那样的话 跟我来探索一下 |
| 0:12 | So yeah that's what we are going | 所以,这是我们要去 |
| 0:13 | to be talking about today. | 今天要谈的 |
| 0:15 | Kind of overcoming self-doubt and you know getting self-confidence | 那种克服自我怀疑,你知道获得自信 |
| 0:19 | to do the things that we think that we might want to do. | 做我们想做的事 |
| 0:21 | So let's talk about that shall we? | 我们来谈谈吧? |
展开字幕全文（259 条）
| 序号 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Hiya and welcome back today. | 嗨,欢迎你回来 |
| 2 | I am going to be answering how I approach this topic of confidence | 我会回答我如何对待这个信任话题 |
| 3 | in general and where I am on my confidence journey. | 总的来说,我正在我的信心之旅。 |
| 4 | So it might just be fun perhaps to | 所以也许只是很有趣 也许 |
| 5 | explore this thing with me if you're into that sort of thing. | 如果你喜欢那样的话 跟我来探索一下 |
| 6 | So yeah that's what we are going | 所以,这是我们要去 |
| 7 | to be talking about today. | 今天要谈的 |
| 8 | Kind of overcoming self-doubt and you know getting self-confidence | 那种克服自我怀疑,你知道获得自信 |
| 9 | to do the things that we think that we might want to do. | 做我们想做的事 |
| 10 | So let's talk about that shall we? | 我们来谈谈吧? |
| 11 | Um so for context I think I sit on the spectrum of having a lot of self-doubt. | 嗯,对于背景,我想我坐在光谱 有很多自我怀疑。 |
| 12 | I think I | 我觉得 |
| 13 | I would describe myself honestly as quite an insecure person and people who genuinely know | 我会诚实地形容自己 一个相当不安全的人 和真正了解的人 |
| 14 | me know that I'm a very insecure person but I think somehow that is not that obvious online | 我知道,我是一个非常不安全的人 但我觉得不知怎的,这不是那么明显的在线 |
| 15 | which is good which is good. | 这是好的,这是好的。 |
| 16 | I am trying to be better at this thing and I have been working on | 我试着在这件事情上做得更好 我一直在努力 |
| 17 | it so it's great that it doesn't show perhaps as much online and there's very specific insecurities | 所以,这是伟大的,它没有显示 也许像很多在线 和非常具体的不安全 |
| 18 | that I have that perhaps at some point I'll be willing to share but anyways I do think that I | 我也许有些时候会愿意分享 但不管怎样,我觉得我 |
| 19 | sit somehow somewhere on the insecure side of the spectrum and some things I haven't talked about | 不知何故坐某处 无保障的一面 和一些事情 我还没有谈论 |
| 20 | on this channel before is perhaps how naturally introverted I am and how extremely introverted I | 在之前这个频道上,也许我是多么自然的内向 多么极端的内向 |
| 21 | have been in the past and kind of my my own thoughts around myself and my own thoughts | 曾经是过去, 有点我自己的想法 围绕我自己和我自己的想法 |
| 22 | on my behaviour are things that of course people wouldn't know and kind of the the mental exercises | 我的行为是人们当然不知道的事 和那种精神锻炼 |
| 23 | that I need to do to function sometimes even on a like average or basic level are quite intense. | 我有时需要做一些工作, 即使是在平均或基本水平上, 也是相当紧张的。 |
| 24 | It's not it's not living a normal life as in you know socialising maybe a few times a month | 不是生活不正常,因为你知道 社交也许几个月 |
| 25 | and kind of being online I guess is not that average but being online to some extent so a | 并且某种程度上是在线 我想不是那么普通 但在某种程度上是在线 |
| 26 | for me socialising a few times a month and being online and kind of talking to people and making | 一个月几次社交 上网 和人交谈 做 |
| 27 | new friends and being out there is not something that comes naturally to me it's not something | 新朋友和在外 不是自然而然的东西 也不是什么东西 |
| 28 | that I even though hopefully it does kind of it does happen and it can look normal on the outside | 我虽然希望它确实发生, 它可以看起来正常的外表 |
| 29 | it's genuinely a lot of mental heroics that I need to do on the inside to put myself in a position to | 我内心需要做很多精神英雄 才能让自己处于 |
| 30 | do these things and a lot of these things are coming more and more laterate to me now because | 做这些事情, 和很多这些事情 来越来越好 现在对我来说,因为 |
| 31 | I genuinely and this is like the crux of the whole thing you act one way and then you become | 我真心的,这就像 整个事情的症结 你表现的方式之一,然后你变成 |
| 32 | that way and I genuinely genuinely believe that and I might touch upon that a bit more in a moment | 那样的话,我真心相信, 我可能会在一瞬间多谈一点 |
| 33 | but I'll start with kind of how to how to get started on this path in my opinion and and what | 但我会从如何开始 如何开始这条道路 在我看来,什么 |
| 34 | I do and kind of the best way that I've kind of discovered for having a bit more self-confidence | 我这样做和那种最好的方式 我发现了一种 有点自信 |
| 35 | to do the things that we want to do. | 做我们想做的事 |
| 36 | So I've touched upon this topic a bit before on kind of | 所以,我之前已经谈到过这个话题 关于一种 |
| 37 | the fact that I am quite concerned about what others think I think about myself and I've talked | 我非常关心别人对我的想法 我谈过 |
| 38 | about this in a previous podcast where the general notion of that is that the one of the | 在之前的播客中,这个概念一般就是 |
| 39 | things I'm very insecure about is people thinking that I think that I am you know good at the things | 我非常不安全的是,人们认为我对事情很了解 |
| 40 | that I do or people thinking that I think that I'm dressed well or people thinking that I think that | 或认为我穿的很好 或认为我想 |
| 41 | I look good or people thinking that I think that I'm funny because I make a joke and I tend to | 我看起来不错 或者人们认为我觉得我很搞笑 因为我开个玩笑 我倾向于 |
| 42 | overthink this a lot and in the past used to be very difficult for me to be kind of natural or | 过去我很难成为自然的或 |
| 43 | myself so I would altogether avoid many social situations because I would tend to go down this | 我自己这样我就能避免很多社会状况 因为我倾向于这样下去 |
| 44 | path of overthinking of being like oh I can't say this joke because then what if it's not funny | 我无法说出这个笑话 如果这不好笑 |
| 45 | but other people think that I thought it was funny so they're going to think I have a bad sense of | 但其他人认为我觉得这很有趣 所以他们会认为我对 |
| 46 | humor or that I'm an attention seeker or something so because I naturally can overthink a lot it | 幽默,或者说我是个专注的寻求者 或什么的,因为我自然会想太多 |
| 47 | does make it very difficult I think to have especially if you're a bit insecure and you're | 真的很困难,如果你有点不安全,我特别觉得 |
| 48 | quite difficult so social situations is one thing but as you grow older as an | 社会状况很困难 但随着你变老 |
| 49 | and when you adult there are more things at stake than simple social situations if you're an awkward | 当你成年的时候 与简单的社会状况相比 风险更大 如果你是个尴尬的人 |
| 50 | child in school I mean that's fine your teachers are going to ask you questions to involve you | 在学校里的孩子,我的意思是,这很好 你的老师会问你的问题 让你参与 |
| 51 | and you're going to be divided into groups and therefore you have to socialize to some extent | 并且你们要被分成几组, 所以你们必须在一定程度上社交 |
| 52 | and you know you you apply for things and it's fun like you do get by being a very quiet and shy | 你知道你申请的东西, 它的乐趣 就像你得到一个非常安静和害羞 |
| 53 | child which I think was the case for me but I think as an adult things are a bit harder if you | 孩子们,我认为我的情况 但我认为作为一个成年人,如果你 |
| 54 | are you know very very shy and socially awkward dating is difficult finding and maintaining friends | 你知道很害羞吗 社交尴尬的约会很难找到和保持朋友 |
| 55 | as an adult especially if you tend to move around the world quite a bit as I've done it's very | 特别是如果你像我做的那样 经常环游世界 |
| 56 | difficult if you're really shy finding a good job for yourself and making friends at that new job | 如果你真的害羞 找到一份好工作 和交朋友 在新的工作 |
| 57 | is very difficult if you are socially awkward and a bit shy or if you lack self-confidence | 如果你在社交上有些尴尬,有些害羞 或者缺乏自信,那就很难了 |
| 58 | if you're overthinking things and you end up not going out with your work colleagues | 如果你想得太过头了 结果却没和同事出去 |
| 59 | that will kind of impact both your work life and your personal life potentially | 这会影响你的工作生活和个人生活 |
| 60 | and because I genuinely do think that it's not only our thoughts and feelings that | 因为我真的认为 不仅仅是我们的想法和感情 |
| 61 | that dictate our actions but also our actions that therefore dictate our feelings so it becomes | 这决定了我们的行动 也决定了我们的感情 |
| 62 | this vicious cycle of you know I'm not confident so I can't go to this party and therefore I | 你这种恶性循环 你知道我不自信 所以我不能去参加这个派对 |
| 63 | didn't go to this party so I don't have friends and I'm not confident and when does that really | 没有参加这个派对,所以我没有朋友,没有自信,什么时候真的 |
| 64 | end and when does that stop and I think it's a very very difficult cycle to break out of | 结束,什么时候停止 我认为这是一个非常困难的循环 突破 |
| 65 | some things that I wanted to make on some notes that I wanted to make in this I think this will | 有些事情我想用一些笔记做 我想用这些笔记做 |
| 66 | be targeted at people that are like a few levels before me so where I used to be a few years ago | 目标在我之前的几层 所以几年前我去过的地方 |
| 67 | I think that's the level I'm going to be discussing because yeah if you're already confident | 我想这就是我要讨论的层面 因为如果你已经有信心了 |
| 68 | oh give me tips please but I think there were a few things that I realized regarding this topic | 哦,请给我小费 但我想我意识到 关于这个话题的一些事情 |
| 69 | and the first one of them is around that notion of creating an identity and a very solid identity | 其中第一个概念就是 创造一种身份和非常坚实的身份 |
| 70 | around who we are and then therefore sticking to that identity for a longer time especially if | 然后在更长时间里坚持这个身份 特别是如果 |
| 71 | you're an over thinker you can't suddenly change your personality and go oh I'm going to go be | 你是一个过度的思想家 你不能突然改变你的个性 然后去 哦,我要去 |
| 72 | outgoing and go to the next party because everyone thinks I'm shy so already just these things can | 离开去参加下一场派对 因为每个人都觉得我很害羞 所以只要这些东西就可以了 |
| 73 | very very quickly spiral into a situation where we're like we're set in the personality that we | 很快地,我们陷入了一种局面, 就像我们被设置在人格上,我们 |
| 74 | we've created and something that I tend to find I didn't really have this but I did notice a lot | 我们创造了一些东西,我往往会发现 我并没有真正拥有这个 但我注意到了很多 |
| 75 | of people around me who I felt were quite similar constantly have this notion of you know it's too | 我身边的人,我觉得他们很相似 一直有这种想法 你知道这是太 |
| 76 | late you know I can't make friends now it's too late and I would hear this a lot especially in | 晚了,你知道我不能交朋友 现在为时已晚,我会听到 这一点很多,特别是在 |
| 77 | university I would hear this a lot when people said oh you know I but when does it end really | 大学时我经常听到,人们说哦,你知道的,但什么时候结束 |
| 78 | you know because people say oh I came to university a month late it's too late everyone already has | 你知道,因为人们说哦,我来大学 一个月晚了,为时已晚 |
| 79 | or I skipped you know the the first week of uni where people were bonding and going to parties | 或者我跳过了,你知道 uni的第一个星期 在那里人们是 结交和去派对 |
| 80 | it's too late I can't make friends and yet on the other hand there's like exchange students who come | 来不及了 我不能交朋友 但另一方面 也有交换学生来 |
| 81 | to a school for like one month in the end of the year and they end up making stronger friendships | 到一个学校 在一个月的年底, 他们最终建立更强大的友谊 |
| 82 | {\fn黑体\fs22\bord1\shad0\3aHBE\4aH00\fscx67\fscy66\2cHFFFFFF\3cH808080}还有第二年就上大学的人 | |
| 83 | {\fn黑体\fs22\bord1\shad0\3aHBE\4aH00\fscx67\fscy66\2cHFFFFFF\3cH808080}还有人加入工作 所以我觉得这不一定 | |
| 84 | yes you know maybe it's easier to meet people when everyone is in a mindset of being open and | 是的,你知道,也许它更容易 遇到人们,当每个人都 在心态开放, |
| 85 | to create friendships but it doesn't mean that it's impossible and especially if your identity | 创造友谊,但这并不意味着 这是不可能的,特别是如果你的身份 |
| 86 | is very closely tied around being kind of shy and introverted and not having around a lot of | 被紧紧地绑在一起 有点害羞和内向 并且没有在很多 |
| 87 | security around your social prowess then it does become difficult and a bit self-fulfilling to say | 安全围绕你的社会力量, 那么它确实变得困难 并且有点自我实现 |
| 88 | I'm not going to do this because I can't and then it's too late for me to do this I didn't do it | 我不会这样做,因为我不能,然后它已经为时已晚 我这样做不是我做的 |
| 89 | because I couldn't and this just goes round and round and round in circles and then the question | 因为我不能,这个只是绕圈绕圈 然后问题 |
| 90 | becomes how do you break the cycle and I think I've done a lot of work on this in many different | 成为如何打破循环 我想我已经做了很多工作 在许多不同的 |
| 91 | ways um I've I do try and I still do try um I think there's two levels to this I think level one | 我试过了,我还是试过了 我觉得有两层 |
| 92 | is understanding why you feel the way you do and this I would say is unnecessary um I love it I | 理解你为什么觉得自己的方式, 我想说这是不必要的,嗯,我喜欢它,我 |
| 93 | think this is the funnest part but it's I don't think it is something that you need in order to | 我认为这是最有趣的部分 但我不认为这是你需要的东西 为了 |
| 94 | change I do think that you do things and then you become those things and there's this very funny | 改变,我确实认为 你做一些事情,然后你成为那些东西, 有一个非常有趣的 |
| 95 | story of I'm really jumping in circles sorry but I want to go on this tangent because there's this | 我真的在转圈,对不起 但我想继续这个紧要的,因为有这个 |
| 96 | story of when does a man become a priest which kind of goes along the lines if you have a normal | 一个人什么时候成为牧师的故事... ...如果你有正常的... |
| 97 | person you know just like a devout Christian let's say and they decide that they want to become a | 你认识的人就像一个虔诚的基督徒 让我们说,他们决定 他们想成为一个 |
| 98 | priest when do they become a priest um if they decided that they want to be one now and they | 神父,他们什么时候会成为牧师... 如果他们决定他们想成为现在的牧师... |
| 99 | just you know move to a church a monastery I don't know where priests live but if they moved um to | 只是你知道,搬到一个教堂 一个修道院 我不知道在哪里 牧师住,但如果他们搬到嗯 |
| 100 | where they were supposed to move and if they decided to do all the priestly things and they | 他们应该移动的地方, 如果他们决定做所有 牧师的事情,他们 |
| 101 | were just you know reading scripture and they were being devout and they were living according to | 你只知道读经,他们很虔诚,他们生活 |
| 102 | what they were supposed to do when do they start becoming a priest is it you know 20 years down | 当他们开始成为牧师时, 他们本该做什么? |
| 103 | the line is it 10 years is it three months is it six months is it the day that they decide to do | 台词是10年 3个月 6个月是他们决定做的那天 |
| 104 | these things there is no point between being a normalized person off the street and being a | 做个正常人和做个 |
| 105 | priest that you become a priest necessarily it's not like you graduate and you get this diploma | 牧师说你成为牧师 肯定不像你毕业,你拿到文凭 |
| 106 | and you are a priest now it's basically the second that you decide you are one and you behave like | 你现在是牧师了 这基本上是你决定自己是一 |
| 107 | one and for as long as you're behaving like one you are a priest if that makes sense and I think | 一,只要你表现得像一个 你是一个牧师,如果有道理,我认为 |
| 108 | this story kind of ties at least for me ties closely into many aspects of my identity in that | 这个故事 至少对我来说 与我身份的许多方面有密切的联系 |
| 109 | if I decided right now that I am and I'm not saying that this is an easy thing to do or something | 如果我现在决定了,我是,我不是说 这是一个容易的事情做或东西 |
| 110 | that I recommend because it's probably not sustainable I'd be very distressing if I suddenly | 我建议,因为它可能 无法持续 如果我突然。 |
| 111 | decided that I am a very confident person and very extroverted and I started in every single | 我决定我是一个非常自信的人 并且非常外向 我从每一个开始 |
| 112 | situation that I was I acted extroverted and confident and social how could anyone say that | 我表现得异常自信和社交 |
| 113 | I wasn't like it wouldn't even people who knew me they'd be like she's clearly changed because | 我本来不觉得连认识我的人 都不像她变了 |
| 114 | if that's what I did in every situation forever I would be that person overnight I don't think | 如果我在每件事情下都这么做的话... ...我会在一夜之间成为那个人... |
| 115 | that's sustainable or advisable but in general there is we are our actions I believe and therefore | 这是可持续的或可取的 但总的来说,我们有 我们的行动,我相信,因此 |
| 116 | if we just behaved a certain way so if there was a behavior change I think the problem would be | 如果我们只是表现 某种方式 所以如果有 行为改变 我想问题将会是 |
| 117 | I'm going to go into some ways that I like I kind of caused that behavior change when I want to | 我将走进一些我喜欢的方式 导致行为改变 当我想 |
| 118 | that I found quite helpful and easy but on the other hand there's also that deeper understanding | 我发现相当有帮助和容易 但另一方面 也有更深刻的理解 |
| 119 | that I think especially if we are like over thinkers and insecure where we can't just be | 我认为,特别是如果我们像 过思想家和不安全 在那里,我们不能只是 |
| 120 | like oh I can't just ignore all these thoughts and feelings I've had all my life I can't | 我无法忽视我一生的这些想法和感情 |
| 121 | constantly ignore the voice in my head telling me I can't do these things and I'm not good enough | 总是忽略我脑子里的声音 说我不能做这些事 而我不够好 |
| 122 | for these things and just suddenly do them like if that was the case I would have done that whenever | 如果是这样的话 我随时都会这么做 |
| 123 | so that becomes quite difficult to do so I think that there is value in self-exploration | 因此,这变得相当困难 这样做,我认为有价值 自我探索 |
| 124 | especially guided self-exploration I think therapy helps so much I love therapy | 特别是有指导的自我探索 我觉得治疗对治疗很有帮助 |
| 125 | and yeah definitely something I would recommend if especially if you're the kind of person who | 如果你是那种人 我一定会推荐你 |
| 126 | enjoys kind of thinking and talking about why things are the way they are why you feel the | 喜欢那种思考和谈论 为什么事物是 他们的方式,为什么你感觉 |
| 127 | way you do philosophy hashtag philosophy but if you enjoy that kind of thing then I think therapy | 你用哲学标签来标注哲学 但如果你喜欢那样的话 我认为是治疗 |
| 128 | really helps and perhaps there is there is value there in then kind of exploring your mind and | 真的很有帮助,也许有价值 在那里,然后探索你的思想和 |
| 129 | exploring how you came to be the way you are and what are the reasons behind that and perhaps | 探索你是怎样来的 是什么原因背后,也许 |
| 130 | having that understanding can help change things and can help you reframe things in your mind | 有这种理解可以帮助改变事物,可以帮助你重新塑造思想 |
| 131 | but on the practical level I think that is the most important part the most important part is | 但实际上,我认为,这是最重要的部分,最重要的部分是 |
| 132 | the practice of how do how do you actually take action and how do you actually change | 如何实际采取行动和如何实际改变 |
| 133 | things with your behavior and this is I think where the thing that I tend to do and this will | 与你的行为,这是我想 在哪里我倾向于做的东西 和这将 |
| 134 | sound completely mental I'm sorry but the thing that I try to do is I depersonalize myself from | 听起来完全精神错乱 我很抱歉 但我试图做的是... |
| 135 | a situation and from myself quite a lot and I've found that this is really really helpful and what | 我发现这真的很有帮助 |
| 136 | I mean by this is and I read this phrase somewhere and it really really captured this very well so | 我的意思是,这是,我读了这个短语 某处,它真的 捕捉了这个非常好,所以 |
| 137 | it captured it a lot better than I could put it into words myself so I'm just going to use their | 它能捕捉到它 比我用自己的话来说要好得多 所以我要用他们的 |
| 138 | words and I think it said something along the lines of I am not always the person who lives my | 我觉得它说的东西 与我的方式 并不总是我的人 |
| 139 | life but sometimes I am an observer of the person who lives my life and I think this just captures | 生活,但有时我是一个观察者 谁我的生活,我认为这只是捕捉 |
| 140 | things very very beautifully in that that's that's genuinely what I tend to do so if there's a | 非常美丽的事情 在那里,这是真正的 我倾向于这样做 如果有一个 |
| 141 | situation wherein I don't feel that I have the confidence to do something and this could be to | 我觉得自己没有信心做点什么 这可能是为了 |
| 142 | talk to someone this could be to ask a question to someone that I'm just burning to know but I'm | 和某个人谈谈 可能是为了向某个人提问 我非常想知道 |
| 143 | just overthinking what they'll think about me if I ask the question if it's you know putting out | 我只是太想他们会怎么看我 如果我问这个问题,如果它是你知道 扑灭 |
| 144 | a weird video if it's going to a party if it's wearing something that I'm not comfortable with | 一个奇怪的视频,如果它要去 一个派对,如果它穿的东西 我不舒服 |
| 145 | hashtag not black I don't know I need to do it for that actually but yeah if it's if it's anything | 标签不是黑色 我不知道我需要这样做 实际上,但如果它是什么 |
| 146 | along those lines it's something big or small and I can feel that I have all these thoughts and I | 沿着这些路线,它是大或小的东西 我能感觉到我有所有这些想法,我 |
| 147 | have all these like this overwhelming amount of kind of insecurity around this action that's | 这一切像 如此惊人的不安全 围绕这一行动 |
| 148 | making me overthink things I can't step out of it then what I do is I just completely step out of | 使我过度思考的东西 我不能走出它 然后我所做的是 我只是完全走出 |
| 149 | the situation and I'm like okay I recognize that this girl Elizabeth is having these thoughts and | 我意识到伊丽莎白有这些想法 |
| 150 | I see what's going on here you're a mess so let's just ignore that and let's just put you in this | 我知道你是怎么了,你乱七八糟的 所以,让我们只是忽略了这一点, 让我们只是把你在这 |
| 151 | situation nonetheless and I'll just step back and see how Elizabeth reacts and I tend to do this | 尽管如此,我还是退后一步 看看伊丽莎白的反应 我倾向于这样做 |
| 152 | quite often it's a lot easier to do if you're on your own and like you get a text saying that hey | 经常这样,如果你一个人, 就像你得到一个短信说,嘿。 |
| 153 | let's hang out for example and I will tend to do that thing where I go okay let's let's see let's | 举个例子,我会做我要去的地方,好,让我们来看看 |
| 154 | see how Elizabeth will react let's put Elizabeth in the situation she wants to see what she does | 看看伊丽莎白会怎样反应 让我们让伊丽莎白陷入她想看到的境地 |
| 155 | I told you it sounds crazy I'm really sorry but I think it does help in that case because you tend | 我告诉过你这听起来很疯狂 我真的很抱歉 但我觉得这对那件案子有帮助 因为你喜欢 |
| 156 | to detach from everything and you are no longer the person who thinks these thoughts you're the | 远离一切 而你不再是认为这些想法的人 |
| 157 | observer of the person who thinks these negative thoughts you're the observer of the overthinker | 观察者谁认为 这些负面的想法 你是观察者 过度思考 |
| 158 | you are not the overthinker you tend to be this rational person who can go hey let's see what | 你不是那个想太多的人 你总能成为一个理性的人 他可以去,嘿,让我们来看看 |
| 159 | happens to you let's put you in the situation so I tend to do um I tend to do that thing and | 碰巧发生在你身上,让我们把你置于这种境地 所以我倾向于做,嗯,我倾向于做那件事 |
| 160 | obviously this is not introspective at this point at this point it's just very action-based but I | 这显然不是内向的 现在,它只是非常基于行动,但我 |
| 161 | do think that there are times that we just need to to take action and this is a good way that I can | 想想我们有时只需要采取行动 这是个好方法 |
| 162 | kind of step make myself step into things and whenever I'm given opportunities or whenever | 那种步骤使自己 踏入事物 每当我有机会或任何时候 |
| 163 | I'm told to or asked to do things or whenever I want to do something that I'm not too sure about | 有人告诉我或要求我做一些事情 或每当我想做一些 我不太确定的事情 |
| 164 | and I'm starting to overthink about the potential consequences and what this will do to me or do for | 我开始过度思考 潜在的后果 以及这会对我造成什么影响 |
| 165 | me I'll just think that and go okay let's just do it and see how you'll react to this Elizabeth | 我就想着就走,好,我们来试试看 你对伊丽莎白的反应如何 |
| 166 | and of course this there are a lot of issues here like obviously you need to be safe and | 当然,这里有很多问题... ... ...... |
| 167 | and you know secure and this is not just oh just leave your job or just put yourself in a | 你知道安全,这不仅仅是 哦只是离开你的工作 或只是把自己在一个 |
| 168 | place where you are in physical danger obviously not these sort of things but when we are playing | 你身处险境的地方 很明显不是这种事情 而是我们玩的时候 |
| 169 | with my emotional um stability or my emotional safety I tend to gamble a lot more now than I | 情绪稳定或情绪安全 我比现在更会赌博 |
| 170 | used to in the past and that's mostly because I do have a lot more defense mechanisms and a lot | 过去,这主要是因为我有 更多的防御机制和很多 |
| 171 | more healthy coping mechanisms than I used to have before um I know that there are people there who | 比我以前更健康的应对机制 嗯 我知道那里有人 |
| 172 | care for me I know that um I can recognize a lot of my toxic thought patterns and see them for what | 照顾我,我知道,嗯... 我可以识别很多我的有毒思维模式... |
| 173 | they are which is just like a habit and not actually true um I know that I um should I need | 他们就像习惯,其实不是真的 我知道我需要 |
| 174 | help or should I need someone to step in I know where to go and who to call so I do have all of | 帮帮忙 或者我需要有人介入 我知道该去哪里 和谁打电话 所以我有所有的 |
| 175 | these things in place that then give me the freedom to go I see how you're thinking and I | 这些东西已经到位,然后给我自由去... ...我看你在想什么,我 |
| 176 | don't like it and I don't have time to do this right now because this is like years of understanding | 不喜欢,我现在没时间做这个 因为这就像多年的理解 |
| 177 | and behavioral change and I cannot afford that right now so how about you just do this thing | 和行为改变,我现在负担不起 你现在做这个怎么样? |
| 178 | that you hate and let's just see how you react to it because chances are you're going to be fine | 你恨它 让我们看看你如何反应 因为你会好起来的 |
| 179 | and you know the thing is chances are I'm always fine I'm literally always fine I'm I tend to | 你知道 机会是 我总是很好 我总是很好 |
| 180 | get like uncomfortable when my heart rate might go up and I might blush and I might feel like | 当我心率上升,我脸红,我可能觉得不舒服 |
| 181 | you know awful when I'm doing the thing but in the end I always always feel great | 你知道我做这个时很糟 但最后我总是感觉很好 |
| 182 | and I think that's where I get my confidence I get my confidence from | 我觉得这就是我得到信心的地方 我得到的信心来自 |
| 183 | stepping out of myself and going hmm how will Elizabeth deal with this or like oh I think I've | 走出自我,去嗯 如何伊丽莎白会处理 这一点或喜欢 哦,我想我已经 |
| 184 | left you like if if I have the space to overthink about you know my insecurities I've clearly let | 让你喜欢 如果我有空间 过度思考 你知道我的不安全感 |
| 185 | myself be a bit too comfortable so I'll go you know what let's mess it up let's mess it up you've | 我自己有点太自在了,所以我会去 你知道什么让我们弄乱它... ... |
| 186 | been too comfortable let's see what happens and let's push you into the situation and it tends to | 感觉太舒服了 让我们看看会发生什么 让我们把你推向现实中 |
| 187 | work out quite well I think for me of course given a level of emotional stability at the time | 我当然认为当时的情绪稳定 |
| 188 | if I'm extremely distressed I will not play these sort of games with my emotions because | 如果我感到极度痛苦 我不会用我的情绪来玩这种游戏 |
| 189 | that will probably not end up in a very good place and it might hurt me a lot more in the long run | 可能不会到一个很好的地方, 从长远来看,它可能伤害我更多。 |
| 190 | but given a certain level of emotional stability and comfort I will go let's mess it up and let's | 但只要有某种程度的情绪稳定性和舒适度... ...我会去的... |
| 191 | see what will happen and I think another huge benefit that comes out of this is that we do | 看会发生什么 我认为从这个得到的另一个巨大好处是,我们做了 |
| 192 | things actually determines a lot of our identity and how we feel about ourselves and there was | 事情决定了我们的许多身份 以及我们对自己的感觉 |
| 193 | this great study with police that showed that when police were addressed as civilians police | 这份对警方的伟大研究表明 当警方被当作民警处理时 |
| 194 | crime dropped by about aggressive police crime towards civilians dropped by about 50 percent | 警方针对平民的犯罪下降了50% |
| 195 | so the theory is that being dressed in this authoritarian like blue suits gave them a | 所以,理论是穿这 独裁的像蓝西装给他们 |
| 196 | that they could abuse a lot easier compared to just dressing like normal civilians dress like | 和普通平民穿的一样 |
| 197 | a civilian and you'll act like a civilian and this shows itself again and again in many different | 一个平民,你会像一个平民, 这一次又一次地展现自己 在很多不同的 |
| 198 | things again still with clothes when people wear black and I just read this yesterday and I was a | 衣服还是一样 当人们穿黑色时 我昨天刚读到这个 我是个 |
| 199 | bit I don't know how I feel about this study but there there was a study that showed that when | 有点我不知道我对这个研究的感受 但有一个研究显示 |
| 200 | people wore black they tended to be a lot more authoritarian and aggressive even if just their | 人们穿黑色 他们往往更专制 和攻击性,即使他们 |
| 201 | characters in games were dressed in black then they would behave more aggressive with those | 游戏中的角色穿着黑色的服装,然后他们就会与这些角色的行为更具攻击性. |
| 202 | characters than if they were dressed in any other color and if you start behaving like you're | 比起穿其他颜色的服装 以及你开始像你这样 |
| 203 | confident you will become confident and there were there was quite a few studies that I was reading | 相信你会变得自信 我读过很多研究 |
| 204 | on this idea that we are not defined by who we are but our actions define who we think we are | 我们不是被谁定义 而是我们的行动决定了我们自以为是谁 |
| 205 | then we act in those ways and then we just lock those patterns in so oh there was this great study | 然后我们用那些方式行动 然后把这些图案锁起来 这样哦 有个伟大的研究 |
| 206 | where people were divided into two groups and one of in one group people were given they were said | 在那里,人们被分成两组,其中一组人被说成是 |
| 207 | that they would have the option of either eating a worm or of just lifting a weight that was not too | 他们可以选择要么吃虫子 要么只是举起不是太重 |
| 208 | heavy and they would have to gamble to see which one they would get so it would be a completely | 他们不得不赌博看 他们能得到的哪一个 所以这将是一个完全 |
| 209 | random choice and in both groups these gambling the gambling was not legitimate like it was | 随机选择,在两组中,赌博是不合法的 |
| 210 | predetermined but the people didn't know and half of the people were given the worm and half of the | 但人们不知道 一半的人得到了虫子和一半 |
| 211 | people were given the weights and then people were told that they can switch and they found that when | 人们被赋予重量,然后人们被告知 他们可以切换,他们发现,当 |
| 212 | people were given the worm they about 20 percent only of people switched because they felt that oh | 人们得到的蠕虫 他们只有20%的人换了,因为他们觉得 |
| 213 | I'm such an unlucky person I must deserve this worm that was the theory rather than when people | 我是一个不幸的人 我必须得受这个虫子的折磨 而不是当人们 |
| 214 | were given the weight just no one was switching to the worm at all because they obviously thought | 被赋予的重量 只是没有人 切换到蠕虫 因为他们显然认为 |
| 215 | that that's just an unpleasant activity so there was a lot of follow-up studies that were done that | 那只是一个令人不快的活动 所以有很多后续研究都做了 |
| 216 | controlled for a lot more variables and factors there but the crux of the matter is if you believe | 控制更多的变量和因素 那里,但问题的症结在于 如果你相信 |
| 217 | that you are an unlucky person you will stop changing your fate you will just accept what | 你是一个不幸的人 你会停止改变你的命运 你会接受什么 |
| 218 | is given to you if you start believing that you are a non-confident person then you then you'll | 如果你开始相信自己是个不自信的人 那你就会 |
| 219 | act like you're not a confident person if you if you believe that you are that you are a bad person | 如果你相信自己是个坏人 假装你不是自信的人 |
| 220 | and that you deserve bad things then when bad things happen to you will start to take less action | 当你遇到坏事时 你会开始少采取行动 |
| 221 | against them and you will feel as though you deserve these things so we our behaviors determine | 对付他们,你会觉得你应得的 所以我们的行为决定了 |
| 222 | our personalities just as much as our personality determines our personality if that makes sense | 我们的人格 和我们的人格一样决定我们的人格 如果有道理的话 |
| 223 | and things tend to be tend to change and be changeable a lot more than I think we give | 事情往往会变 变化的比我想的多得多 |
| 224 | ourselves credit for we can change our behavior within a few minutes like in a few social | 我们能在几分钟内改变我们的行为 就像一些社交活动 |
| 225 | experiments people can be made to feel insecure people can be made to feel confident just by | 实验可以让人们感到不安全 让人们感到自信 |
| 226 | doing different things that people were asked to write down their positive | 做不同的事情 人们被要求 写他们的阳性 |
| 227 | and negative traits so people would ask to write their negative traits down with their non-dominant | 和负面的特质,所以人们会要求 写他们的负面特质 与他们的非主导性 |
| 228 | hand and write their negative traits down with their dominant hand and writing them down with | 手写他们的负面特质 用他们的主导手写下 并写下来 |
| 229 | their non-dominant hand made people more confident because their handwriting was worse and they could | 因为他们的笔迹更差,他们可以 |
| 230 | see that like they were not as convinced that these things were true rather than writing these | 就像他们不相信这些事情是真的 而不是写这些 |
| 231 | down so dominant dominant hand and if if it can even be tiny tiny little things like this that | 如果能像这种小小东西 |
| 232 | affect our confidence then huge actions of actually doing things that we on one level want | 影响我们的信心 然后采取重大行动 实际做我们想要做的事情 |
| 233 | to do but feel that we are too scared to do must be so much easier to change so this was a very | 但是觉得我们太害怕 不敢做 一定容易改变 所以这是非常 |
| 234 | messy way of me saying that one I don't think you need to be confident to start doing confident | 说得乱七八糟的,我觉得你不必自信一点 |
| 235 | things I don't think that you need to really understand why you have lack of confidence | 我并不认为你需要真正理解 为什么你缺乏信心 |
| 236 | to do confident things although you probably should because life is fun when you start to | 做自信的事情,虽然你可能应该 因为生活是乐趣 当你开始 |
| 237 | all the ways that you're messed up it's really cool and I do think that an easy way to kind of | 所有你搞砸了的方式 这是真的很酷,我确实认为 一种简单的方式 |
| 238 | within a few seconds give yourself the confidence to do something is to step out of yourself and | 在几秒钟内 给自己信心 做一些事情 就是走出你自己, |
| 239 | it's something that you can train and learn to do better and better and I think I'm quite good at | 这是你可以训练 并学习 做更好和更好的 我想我相当擅长 |
| 240 | doing this where if I'm really overwhelmed by like my emotions in any situation I'll be like okay I'm | 做这个,如果我真的 被我的情绪所压倒 在任何情况下,我会像没事我 |
| 241 | done like I'm just stepping out Elizabeth can feel these I'm just seeing what Elizabeth is doing | 就像我刚走出去 伊丽莎白能感觉到这些... ...我只是看到伊丽莎白在做什么 |
| 242 | and even that one step back helps me kind of process things a lot better and putting things | 即使退后一步 也能帮我处理好很多事情 |
| 243 | in the third person rather than I'm going through these things I'm just observing the person who is | 而不是我经历这些事情 我只是在观察谁是 |
| 244 | going through these things which is myself so yeah I will do that quite a bit I don't know | 经历这些事情,这是我自己 所以我会做很多,我不知道 |
| 245 | if that's great advice it's literally I don't even know if it's advice I think it's more | 如果这是伟大的建议 字面意思是,我甚至不知道 如果这是建议 我认为它更多 |
| 246 | kind of what I do but this this situation of like oh if you're terrified of doing something | 那种我做什么... ...但这种局面... ... |
| 247 | just yeah just just think okay let's do it and then see how you react and then we'll deal with | 只是是啊,只是只是认为好 让我们做到这一点,然后看你的反应 然后我们处理 |
| 248 | you later is kind of kind of the way that I get myself to do again just talking about positive | 你以后是那种方式 让我自己再次做 只是谈论积极的 |
| 249 | things here just talking about things that you would genuinely genuinely want to do but don't | 这里谈的只是一些你真心想做的事 |
| 250 | have the confidence to do at the moment so this is how I how I get the confidence to put myself | 现在有自信,所以这就是我如何获得自信 以为自己 |
| 251 | out there and how I get my confidence to do things chances are in my mind I'm likely completely | 在那里,我是如何得到 我的信心 做事情的机会在我的脑海里 我可能完全 |
| 252 | detached from the situation at least at the start of it and then I start to ease in and feel better | 至少从一开始就脱离局势 然后我开始放松和感觉好些 |
| 253 | and if you catch yourself halfway through a behavior or an action or a conversation or | 如果你在行为或行动或谈话中 |
| 254 | a situation that you would think only confident people would be doing then you'll start to think | 你会认为只有自信的人才会这么做 然后你就会开始思考 |
| 255 | I think that you are a confident person and just building up your identity slowly in that way I | 我认为你是一个自信的人 并且只是慢慢地建立你的身份 这样我 |
| 256 | think helps so yes that was my 20 minute answer to how I'm a confident person or how I tend to | 认为这样有帮助 是的,这是我的20分钟 回答如何我是一个自信的人 或我倾向于 |
| 257 | act like a competent person so yeah I hope that helped thank you so much for listening or watching | 表现得像个称职的人 我希望这能帮助你 非常感谢你的聆听或观看 |
| 258 | me and I hope you have a wonderful rest of your day be kind to yourself and others and | 我和我希望你有一个美好的 休息的一天 对你和别人好一点, |
| 259 | don't leave everything you think thanks bye bye | 不要离开你认为的一切,再见 |
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